🔥 | Latest

Ass, Broly, and Church: How the usher look at you when you're trying to walk out the sanctuary while pastor is praying Every church got that one usher that just go too hard for Jesus. I understand that you have to be reverent in the sanctuary but she took her job to serious. I'm next to my grandma trying to get my praise on, when my boy Simon shoot me a text that the Visiting pastor two daughters were voluntarily offering Thier throat services in the basement. I knew Simon was a liar so I was like nah f that. But he sent me selfie of both of them sitting on his lap and he was ugly like flava flave so my cute ass was bout to capitalize n get some neck bone. I crip walked outta the row when the pastor calls up everyone up for prayer who needs it. I'm trying to get to the door when he says "Amen young brother in the back come on down and get this blessing" really niqqa ??I'm like nah I gtg that's when sister Rose said " where are you going" I said "I gotta go pee" but she wouldn't move. I tried to euro step past her to leave but she remained firm. I was getting impatient so I went for the door when she grabbed my hand. It wasn't a human like grip. It was a heavenly grip. Shit was like God grabbed me himself. I looked her in her eyes, her eyes where white looking like Broly from DragonBallZ. I didn't know what to do. I actually had to pee now F the head. The pastor was black so you know he prayed for 40 days and 40 nights. By the time I got to leave the girls fronted on the neck and came to their senses. The rest of the church service I sat in my seat and contemplated my spiritual life. Sister Rose is still the Deaconess at the church.
Ass, Broly, and Church: How the usher look at you when
 you're trying to walk out the
 sanctuary while pastor is praying
Every church got that one usher that just go too hard for Jesus. I understand that you have to be reverent in the sanctuary but she took her job to serious. I'm next to my grandma trying to get my praise on, when my boy Simon shoot me a text that the Visiting pastor two daughters were voluntarily offering Thier throat services in the basement. I knew Simon was a liar so I was like nah f that. But he sent me selfie of both of them sitting on his lap and he was ugly like flava flave so my cute ass was bout to capitalize n get some neck bone. I crip walked outta the row when the pastor calls up everyone up for prayer who needs it. I'm trying to get to the door when he says "Amen young brother in the back come on down and get this blessing" really niqqa ??I'm like nah I gtg that's when sister Rose said " where are you going" I said "I gotta go pee" but she wouldn't move. I tried to euro step past her to leave but she remained firm. I was getting impatient so I went for the door when she grabbed my hand. It wasn't a human like grip. It was a heavenly grip. Shit was like God grabbed me himself. I looked her in her eyes, her eyes where white looking like Broly from DragonBallZ. I didn't know what to do. I actually had to pee now F the head. The pastor was black so you know he prayed for 40 days and 40 nights. By the time I got to leave the girls fronted on the neck and came to their senses. The rest of the church service I sat in my seat and contemplated my spiritual life. Sister Rose is still the Deaconess at the church.

Every church got that one usher that just go too hard for Jesus. I understand that you have to be reverent in the sanctuary but she took her...