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afterwards: my-discourse-blog: ryrythescienceguy: Children being naturally exposed to a variety of germs from a very young age (from dirt, pets, playplaces, sandboxes, other kids, etc) is actually really good for the immune system and can even prevent the development of allergies. The reason food allergies are so common these days is precisely because parents are avoiding exposing their kids to possible trigger foods and not letting them get dirty (also the overuse of antibacterial soaps/hand santitizers and antibiotics!). Source: grew up on a farm, played in the dirt and with germy animals and germy siblings/cousins/friends all the time, and very rarely took antibiotics… today I’m 24, have zero allergies, and a great immune system (even my little sister is the same, and she wasn’t vaccinated until she was a teenager). This is also why oldest siblings and only children tend to have more allergies in my anecdotal experience; the parents often get overprepared and don’t let their kid get exposed to ANY germs/allergens—by the time other children come along the parents are jaded enough to not care about it as much, and thus the kids afterwards are exposed to more germs from birth! If this sounds weird and backwards, it’s because for a long time doctors used to teach the exact opposite. Keep your child clean and away from germs and potenial allergy triggers. Until they saw the long-term side effects of this and are now starting to tell new parents how to do it better. NOTE: I AM EXTREMELY PRO-VAX! DO NOT MISTAKE THIS COMMENT AS ANTI-VAX. VACCINATE YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN AND EXPOSE THEM TO GERMS IN A CONTROLLED WAY. THE HUMAN IMMUNE SYSTEM IS CAPABLE OF MANY THINGS BUT IT’S NOT A MIRACLE WORKER AND IT NEEDS HELP!!! Can confirm this is true. I’ve studied food science for 5 years and have 3 qualifications in food safety.
afterwards: my-discourse-blog:

ryrythescienceguy:

Children being naturally exposed to a variety of germs from a very young age (from dirt, pets, playplaces, sandboxes, other kids, etc) is actually really good for the immune system and can even prevent the development of allergies. The reason food allergies are so common these days is precisely because parents are avoiding exposing their kids to possible trigger foods and not letting them get dirty (also the overuse of antibacterial soaps/hand santitizers and antibiotics!).
Source: grew up on a farm, played in the dirt and with germy animals and germy siblings/cousins/friends all the time, and very rarely took antibiotics… today I’m 24, have zero allergies, and a great immune system (even my little sister is the same, and she wasn’t vaccinated until she was a teenager).
This is also why oldest siblings and only children tend to have more allergies in my anecdotal experience; the parents often get overprepared and don’t let their kid get exposed to ANY germs/allergens—by the time other children come along the parents are jaded enough to not care about it as much, and thus the kids afterwards are exposed to more germs from birth!
If this sounds weird and backwards, it’s because for a long time doctors used to teach the exact opposite. Keep your child clean and away from germs and potenial allergy triggers. Until they saw the long-term side effects of this and are now starting to tell new parents how to do it better.
NOTE: I AM EXTREMELY PRO-VAX! DO NOT MISTAKE THIS COMMENT AS ANTI-VAX. VACCINATE YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN AND EXPOSE THEM TO GERMS IN A CONTROLLED WAY. THE HUMAN IMMUNE SYSTEM IS CAPABLE OF MANY THINGS BUT IT’S NOT A MIRACLE WORKER AND IT NEEDS HELP!!!


Can confirm this is true. I’ve studied food science for 5 years and have 3 qualifications in food safety.

my-discourse-blog: ryrythescienceguy: Children being naturally exposed to a variety of germs from a very young age (from dirt, pets, pl...

afterwards: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
afterwards: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

afterwards: Am I the Asshole? Follow @AITA_reddit AITA for putting my penis in peanut leaving it in the butter and kitchen? bit.ly/2OAODPN my roommates tells me yesterday 'oh by the me of your peanut butter". He sees my visibly ed reaction and asks what's up, so ultimately about the whole deal. He's furious and says ck would you put it back in the kitchen". I femi mouse situation and our policy not to have ot e's labelled foods. This is the first time all year pody has had my labelled food and informed he fact. He said it was just some peanut butte ead, it's not like he was taking full chicken bre me. AITA for putting my penis in peanut butter and leaving it in the kitchen? u/PeanutButterDilemma 15h I'm looking for some assistance determining whether I am the asshole in this situation that has divided our house into two groups. I (20M) am a college student living with four other guys my age. It's our second year living together, and last year we had an issue with people eating food that isn't theirs, so now we have a strict "label your stuff and only eat things with your name on it' policy. use is split 3:2 on who is in the wrong, and it's g over into other aspects of our living situatio o get over this pronto so l am asking... AITA? We have sort of divvied up cupboards, so it w h'my" space. It wasn't in a communal cupboa My girlfriend and T like to get a bit frisky in the bedroom, and a few nights ago I dipped my penis in peanut butter and she licked it off. Yes, I understand that it is slightly bizarre, but that's how we roll. The controversy is that since we have a mouse problem I did not want to leave the peanut butter in my bedroom, so afterwards I closed it and returned it to my kitchen cupboard. Note that it had a hune PeanutButterDilemma label on it so it was clear 4:23 AM - 30 Nov 2019 1,799 Retweets 15,151 Likes r/AmltheAsshole AITA for putting and leaving it in the kitchen? ΑΙΤΑ my penis in peanut butter u/PeanutButterDilemma 15h I'm looking for some assistance determining whether I am the asshole in this situation that has divided our house into two groups. | (20M) am a college student living with four other guys my age. It's our second year living together, and last year we had an issue with people eating food that isn't theirs, so now we have a strict "label your stuff and only eat things with your name on it" policy. My girlfriend and I like to get a bit frisky in the bedroom, and a few nights ago I dipped my penis in peanut butter and she licked it off. Yes, I understand that it is slightly bizarre, but that's how we roll. The controversy is that since we have a mouse problem l did not want to leave the peanut butter in my bedroom, so afterwards I closed it and returned it to my kitchen cupboard. Note that it had a huge "PeanutButterDilemma" label on it, so it was clear that it belonged to me. One of my roommates tells me yesterday "oh by the way, I had some of your peanut butter". He sees my visibly shocked reaction and asks what's up, so ultimately I come clean about the whole deal. He's furious and says "why the fuck would you put it back in the kitchen". I remind him of the mouse situation and our policy not to have other people's labelled foods. This is the first time all year that somebody has had my labelled food and informed me after the fact. He said it was just some peanut butter on his bread, it's not like he was taking full chicken breasts from me. My house is split 3:2 on who is in the wrong, and it's spilling over into other aspects of our living situation. We need to get over this pronto so l am asking.. AITA? INFO: We have sort of divvied up cupboards, so it was kept in "my" space. It wasn't in a communal cupboard Laura Shortridge-Scott jingles ... Follow @DiscordianKitty Never thought I'd say this but I'm on peanut butter penis guy's side here Am I the Asshole? @AITA_reddit gtisteche AITA for putting my penis in peanut butter and leaving it in the kitchen? bit.ly/20AO D PN dny la wj s g ul Show this thread il n f deedeag 9:06 AM - 30 Nov 2019 36,496 Retweets 170,135 Likes finalfortuna: gahdamnpunk:This was a ride ⚰️⚰️ THIS is why you don’t eat other people’s food
afterwards: Am I the Asshole?
 Follow
 @AITA_reddit
 AITA for putting my penis in peanut
 leaving it in the
 butter and
 kitchen?
 bit.ly/2OAODPN
 my roommates tells me yesterday 'oh by the
 me of your peanut butter". He sees my visibly
 ed reaction and asks what's up, so ultimately
 about the whole deal. He's furious and says
 ck would you put it back in the kitchen". I femi
 mouse situation and our policy not to have ot
 e's labelled foods. This is the first time all year
 pody has had my labelled food and informed
 he fact. He said it was just some peanut butte
 ead, it's not like he was taking full chicken bre
 me.
 AITA for putting my penis in peanut butter
 and leaving it in the kitchen?
 u/PeanutButterDilemma 15h
 I'm looking for some assistance determining whether I am
 the asshole in this situation that has divided our house
 into two groups.
 I (20M) am a college student living with four other guys
 my age. It's our second year living together, and last year
 we had an issue with people eating food that isn't theirs,
 so now we have a strict "label your stuff and only eat
 things with your name on it' policy.
 use is split 3:2 on who is in the wrong, and it's
 g over into other aspects of our living situatio
 o get over this pronto so l am asking... AITA?
 We have sort of divvied up cupboards, so it w
 h'my" space. It wasn't in a communal cupboa
 My girlfriend and T like to get a bit frisky in the bedroom,
 and a few nights ago I dipped my penis in peanut butter
 and she licked it off. Yes, I understand that it is slightly
 bizarre, but that's how we roll. The controversy is that
 since we have a mouse problem I did not want to leave
 the peanut butter in my bedroom, so afterwards I closed it
 and returned it to my kitchen cupboard. Note that it had a
 hune PeanutButterDilemma label on it so it was clear
 4:23 AM - 30 Nov 2019
 1,799 Retweets 15,151 Likes

 r/AmltheAsshole
 AITA for putting
 and leaving it in the kitchen?
 ΑΙΤΑ
 my penis in peanut butter
 u/PeanutButterDilemma 15h
 I'm looking for some assistance determining whether I am
 the asshole in this situation that has divided our house
 into two groups.
 | (20M) am a college student living with four other guys
 my age. It's our second year living together, and last year
 we had an issue with people eating food that isn't theirs,
 so now we have a strict "label your stuff and only eat
 things with your name on it" policy.
 My girlfriend and I like to get a bit frisky in the bedroom,
 and a few nights ago I dipped my penis in peanut butter
 and she licked it off. Yes, I understand that it is slightly
 bizarre, but that's how we roll. The controversy is that
 since we have a mouse problem l did not want to leave
 the peanut butter in my bedroom, so afterwards I closed it
 and returned it to my kitchen cupboard. Note that it had a
 huge "PeanutButterDilemma" label on it, so it was clear
 that it belonged to me.

 One of my roommates tells me yesterday "oh by the way, I
 had some of your peanut butter". He sees my visibly
 shocked reaction and asks what's up, so ultimately I come
 clean about the whole deal. He's furious and says "why
 the fuck would you put it back in the kitchen". I remind him
 of the mouse situation and our policy not to have other
 people's labelled foods. This is the first time all year that
 somebody has had my labelled food and informed me
 after the fact. He said it was just some peanut butter on
 his bread, it's not like he was taking full chicken breasts
 from me.
 My house is split 3:2 on who is in the wrong, and it's
 spilling over into other aspects of our living situation. We
 need to get over this pronto so l am asking.. AITA?
 INFO: We have sort of divvied up cupboards, so it was
 kept in "my" space. It wasn't in a communal cupboard

 Laura Shortridge-Scott jingles ...
 Follow
 @DiscordianKitty
 Never thought I'd say this but I'm on
 peanut butter penis guy's
 side here
 Am I the Asshole? @AITA_reddit
 gtisteche
 AITA for putting my penis in peanut butter and leaving it
 in the kitchen? bit.ly/20AO D PN
 dny la
 wj
 s g ul
 Show this thread
 il
 n
 f deedeag
 9:06 AM - 30 Nov 2019
 36,496 Retweets 170,135 Likes
finalfortuna:

gahdamnpunk:This was a ride ⚰️⚰️
THIS is why you don’t eat other people’s food

finalfortuna: gahdamnpunk:This was a ride ⚰️⚰️ THIS is why you don’t eat other people’s food

afterwards: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
afterwards: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

afterwards: 42,121 shouldnt.you-be.in.the-kitchen thatawkwardasian chimmychangaroo some kid at school today forgot the word pepperoni so he called them meat sprinkles Source: chimmychangaroo shouldnt-you be.in-the-kitchen thatawkwardasian 6,341 g-wretch I just remembered that one time I was high and referred to Hamlet as "The Fresh Prince of Denmark Source: g-wretch danglingthpider yayimontheinternet 203,319 dickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick: mrcraabs imagine if you could screenshot real life camera that thing you're talking about is a camera Source: mrcraabs wherehavemysocksgone comesingoodtime 37,984 mychemicalromanceboner Last night I forgot what milk was called so I called it Cereal water CEREAL WATER Source: iwasateenagewho captainrat twigtea 113,464 chuckle-voodoos aranyeha there should be feelings hookers like you hire one to come to your house and they sit there for an hour and listen to you cry about your life then afterwards you pay them 100 bucks and you never see each other again how perfect would that be that's a therapist that's the thing you just described Source: rosekan steampoweredmusic youjustblinkedandaweepingangel 13,417 belle-ofthe-boulevard today i forgot the name for cauliflower so i called it albino broccoli Source: belle-ofthe-boulev hulksmashmouth 101,851 21st-century-son-ofa-bitch iphysianthe my mom's argument against piracy is "well what if you wrote a book and one person bought it and then hundreds of people got to read it for free and you didn't make any money!" MOTHER YOU HAVE JUST DESCRIBED LIBRARIES Source: fillette-revolutionn #queue wouldn't like me when I'm angry 123,219 Llike.your.booty iwasso-alone-iowe.you.so-much beellette: dad just said "there should be a netflix for books" five minutes later he shouted "THE LIBRARY Source: ghoulium caraknightley slett 3,159 tupacabra rabioheab: imagine if worms had legs centipedes Source: rabioheab -moriarty joeshmo shavingryansprivates: romeo romeo where the fuck is you, romeo Fuck you, the original line in Romeo and Juliet is "Wherefore art thou" And maybe if you stopped being an assumption-making bag of fucking asshole, you'd know that wherefore does NOT FUCKING MEAN "WHERE", WHEREFORE MEANS "WHY SHE'S ASKING WHY HIS NAME IS ROMEO. FUCK ALL OF YOU FUCK ALL OF YOU HARD UP THE TOENAIL. I TAKE MY SHAKESPEARE SERIOUSLY AS TITS. romeo romeo why the fuck is you romeo More like this at FUNSubstance.com About the library piracy thing: Libraries pay the author to stock the books, just like bookstores.
afterwards: 42,121
 shouldnt.you-be.in.the-kitchen
 thatawkwardasian
 chimmychangaroo
 some kid at school today forgot the word pepperoni so he called them
 meat sprinkles
 Source: chimmychangaroo
 shouldnt-you be.in-the-kitchen
 thatawkwardasian
 6,341
 g-wretch
 I just remembered that one time I was high and referred to Hamlet as "The
 Fresh Prince of Denmark
 Source: g-wretch
 danglingthpider yayimontheinternet
 203,319
 dickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick:
 mrcraabs
 imagine if you could screenshot real life
 camera
 that thing you're talking about is a camera
 Source: mrcraabs
 wherehavemysocksgone
 comesingoodtime
 37,984
 mychemicalromanceboner
 Last night I forgot what milk was called so I called it
 Cereal water
 CEREAL WATER
 Source: iwasateenagewho
 captainrat twigtea
 113,464
 chuckle-voodoos
 aranyeha
 there should be feelings hookers
 like you hire one to come to your house and they sit there for an hour
 and listen to you cry about your life then afterwards you pay them 100
 bucks and you never see each other again how perfect would that be
 that's a therapist
 that's the thing you just described
 Source: rosekan
 steampoweredmusic
 youjustblinkedandaweepingangel
 13,417
 belle-ofthe-boulevard
 today i forgot the name for cauliflower so i called it albino broccoli
 Source: belle-ofthe-boulev
 hulksmashmouth
 101,851
 21st-century-son-ofa-bitch
 iphysianthe
 my mom's argument against piracy is "well what if you wrote a book and
 one person bought it and then hundreds of people got to read it for free
 and you didn't make any money!"
 MOTHER YOU HAVE JUST DESCRIBED
 LIBRARIES
 Source: fillette-revolutionn
 #queue wouldn't like me when I'm angry
 123,219
 Llike.your.booty
 iwasso-alone-iowe.you.so-much
 beellette:
 dad just said "there should be a netflix for books"
 five minutes later he shouted "THE LIBRARY
 Source: ghoulium
 caraknightley slett
 3,159
 tupacabra
 rabioheab:
 imagine if worms had legs
 centipedes
 Source: rabioheab
 -moriarty
 joeshmo
 shavingryansprivates:
 romeo romeo
 where the fuck is you, romeo
 Fuck you, the original line in Romeo and Juliet is "Wherefore art thou"
 And maybe if you stopped being an assumption-making bag of fucking
 asshole, you'd know that wherefore does NOT FUCKING MEAN
 "WHERE", WHEREFORE MEANS "WHY
 SHE'S ASKING WHY HIS NAME IS ROMEO. FUCK ALL OF YOU
 FUCK ALL OF YOU HARD UP THE TOENAIL. I TAKE MY
 SHAKESPEARE SERIOUSLY AS TITS.
 romeo romeo
 why the fuck is you romeo
 More like this at FUNSubstance.com
About the library piracy thing: Libraries pay the author to stock the books, just like bookstores.

About the library piracy thing: Libraries pay the author to stock the books, just like bookstores.

afterwards: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
afterwards: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

afterwards: IKIMARU KIMARU ikimaru: au where they stay in the desert and nothing bad happens afterwards
afterwards: IKIMARU

 KIMARU
ikimaru:

au where they stay in the desert and nothing bad happens afterwards

ikimaru: au where they stay in the desert and nothing bad happens afterwards