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Family, God, and Life: God created the dog and said: Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed Then God created the monkey and said: Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?" And God agreed. Then God created the cow and said: You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years. The cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty? And God agreed again. Thereafter God created humans and said: Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'II give you twenty years." But the human said: Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' Okay, said God, 'You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You
Family, God, and Life: God created the dog and said:
 Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
 who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life
 span of twenty years."
 The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about
 only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
 So God agreed
 Then God created the monkey and said:
 Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this
 I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
 The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a
 pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten
 like the Dog did?"
 And God agreed.
 Then God created the cow and said:
 You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and
 suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support
 the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of
 sixty years.
 The cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to
 live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back
 the other forty?
 And God agreed again.
 Thereafter God created humans and said:
 Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'II
 give you twenty years."
 But the human said: Only twenty years? Could you possibly
 give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten
 the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that
 makes eighty, okay?'
 Okay, said God, 'You asked for it."
 So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play
 and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in
 the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do
 monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the
 last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
 everyone.
 Life has now been explained to you.
epicjohndoe:

There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You

epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You

Family, God, and Life: God created the dog and said: Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed Then God created the monkey and said: Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?" And God agreed. Then God created the cow and said: You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years. The cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty? And God agreed again. Thereafter God created humans and said: Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'II give you twenty years." But the human said: Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' Okay, said God, 'You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You
Family, God, and Life: God created the dog and said:
 Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
 who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life
 span of twenty years."
 The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about
 only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
 So God agreed
 Then God created the monkey and said:
 Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this
 I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
 The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a
 pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten
 like the Dog did?"
 And God agreed.
 Then God created the cow and said:
 You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and
 suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support
 the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of
 sixty years.
 The cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to
 live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back
 the other forty?
 And God agreed again.
 Thereafter God created humans and said:
 Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'II
 give you twenty years."
 But the human said: Only twenty years? Could you possibly
 give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten
 the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that
 makes eighty, okay?'
 Okay, said God, 'You asked for it."
 So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play
 and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in
 the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do
 monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the
 last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
 everyone.
 Life has now been explained to you.
epicjohndoe:

There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You

epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You

College, Fucking, and Lawyer: TRUM 159650291823782704528885 2088726311223753541_n.jpg 130 KB JPG Story time folks >Be me >Trump supporter >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial college near by >Constantly getting run over and pulled out >Think of idea (pic related) >Plant nails and wait sOne day a woman comes to my door >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and starts screaming at me about how it's my fault her tires are flat OhLordMySides.exe >She says if I don't reimburse her for her tire she'll get the police involved Sudden ldea Tell her to leave her information so I can send her the check since I would need to go to the bank Actually does it Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit >Get my outside cameras to see her running over my sign >Give her name address and car tags to confirm it was her car >Take her to court, open and shut case Pay for damages >Throw in some bullshit about emotional damage "I don't feel like me or my property is safe just because of my political views" >Actually fucking works >She loses her fucking shit at this point >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and how this should be illegal NoProof.jpeg Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or college if she has to pay this >Based Judge says "You should of thought about that before tearing down someone's property, you have 30 days to pay She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court, can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional damages So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade? Pic related siryouarebeingmocked: krungle: inked-up-nomad: miggybeardo: rightsmarts: Read this entire thing, pedes. Hahahahahahahahahaha! Fucking Savage Probably didn’t happen, but a good story. Yeah it sounds a lot like a #ThatHappened story tbh
College, Fucking, and Lawyer: TRUM
 159650291823782704528885 2088726311223753541_n.jpg
 130 KB JPG
 Story time folks
 >Be me
 >Trump supporter
 >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial
 college near by
 >Constantly getting run over and pulled out
 >Think of idea (pic related)
 >Plant nails and wait
 sOne day a woman comes to my door
 >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and
 starts screaming at me about how it's my fault
 her tires are flat
 OhLordMySides.exe
 >She says if I don't reimburse her for her tire
 she'll get the police involved
 Sudden ldea
 Tell her to leave her information so I can send
 her the check since I would need to go to the
 bank
 Actually does it
 Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit
 >Get my outside cameras to see her running over
 my sign
 >Give her name address and car tags to confirm
 it was her car
 >Take her to court, open and shut case
 Pay for damages
 >Throw in some bullshit about emotional
 damage "I don't feel like me or my property is
 safe just because of my political views"
 >Actually fucking works
 >She loses her fucking shit at this point
 >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and
 how this should be illegal
 NoProof.jpeg
 Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or
 college if she has to pay this
 >Based Judge says "You should of thought about
 that before tearing down someone's property, you
 have 30 days to pay
 She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court,
 can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked
 out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional
 damages
 So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade?
 Pic related
siryouarebeingmocked:

krungle:
inked-up-nomad:

miggybeardo:


rightsmarts:

Read this entire thing, pedes.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!


Fucking Savage


Probably didn’t happen, but a good story.

Yeah it sounds a lot like a #ThatHappened story tbh

siryouarebeingmocked: krungle: inked-up-nomad: miggybeardo: rightsmarts: Read this entire thing, pedes. Hahahahahahahahahaha! Fuckin...