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Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

Apple, Definitely, and Dogs: S: Sofia created a poll. March 4 at 10:33 PM ever since i moved to Europe, almost every single meal i've shared someone, there comes a point where someone asks, 'how do you say "bon inenglish' and then i have appétit dobar tek / eet smakelijk / explain that this expression essentially doesn't exist in English except for the incredibly informal 'chow down' to which they always respond in mixture of horror or confusion. after all, 'bon appétit' comes from French and it often has an air of pretension or irony and 'enjoy your meal can really only be said by someone not participating in the meal or am i wrong? what English-only phrase do YOU say before a meal? welcome to flavortown bone app the teeth +78 let's eat +71 dig in! +58 Enjoy! +56 RUB A DUB DUB THANKS FOR THE +41 GRUB We luv our bread we luv our butter but +38 most of all we luv each other 1 0+ Commencing operation mastication +31 0+ i wanna munch +29 Bone apple tea +28 .. Osteoporosis 2 +19 G'appetite +16 --- Ah, I greatly consuming this food, which is definitely not human flesh 0+ +16 eat up +14 17 OM NOM NOM NOM +10 0+ i think dogs should be able to vote +9 7 2468 dig in don't wait AMOE 0+ Blonde amputee +8 Help yourself +6 tuck in +6 time to dig in +6 shallmst we nom? +5 Boom map the sheets +4 Bone fuck my Ray Romano BluRay +4 Phone apple jeans +3 eat up martha +3 it's time to mönch...it's time to crönch +3 M food +2 happy masticating +2 muaddibbler:The most impressive communal shitpost I’ve yet seen from a linguistics Facebook group
Apple, Definitely, and Dogs: S:
 Sofia created a poll.
 March 4 at 10:33 PM
 ever since i moved to Europe, almost every single meal i've shared
 someone, there comes a point where someone asks, 'how do you say "bon
 inenglish' and then i have
 appétit dobar tek / eet smakelijk /
 explain that this expression essentially doesn't exist in English except for
 the incredibly informal 'chow down' to which they always respond in
 mixture of horror or confusion.
 after all, 'bon appétit' comes from French and it often has an air of
 pretension or irony and 'enjoy your meal can really only be said by
 someone not participating in the meal
 or am i wrong? what English-only phrase do YOU say before a meal?
 welcome to flavortown
 bone app the teeth
 +78
 let's eat
 +71
 dig in!
 +58
 Enjoy!
 +56
 RUB A DUB DUB THANKS FOR THE
 +41
 GRUB
 We luv our bread we luv our butter but
 +38
 most of all we luv each other
 1
 0+
 Commencing operation mastication
 +31
 0+
 i wanna munch
 +29
 Bone apple tea
 +28
 ..
 Osteoporosis
 2
 +19
 G'appetite
 +16
 ---
 Ah, I greatly consuming this food, which is
 definitely not human flesh
 0+
 +16
 eat up
 +14
 17
 OM NOM NOM NOM
 +10
 0+
 i think dogs should be able to vote
 +9
 7
 2468 dig in don't wait
 AMOE
 0+
 Blonde amputee
 +8
 Help yourself
 +6
 tuck in
 +6
 time to dig in
 +6
 shallmst we nom?
 +5
 Boom map the sheets
 +4
 Bone fuck my Ray Romano BluRay
 +4
 Phone apple jeans
 +3
 eat up martha
 +3
 it's time to mönch...it's time to crönch
 +3
 M
 food
 +2
 happy masticating
 +2
muaddibbler:The most impressive communal shitpost I’ve yet seen from a linguistics Facebook group

muaddibbler:The most impressive communal shitpost I’ve yet seen from a linguistics Facebook group

Target, Traffic, and Trash: SUPPORT ARTISTS ON TUMBLR + BY REBLOGGING THEIR ARTWORK LIKES ARE SEEN BY... REBLOGS ARE SEEN BY... YOU THE ARTIST THE ARTIST FOLLOWERS TUMBLR.COM/LIKED/BY/USERNAME ...AND ANYONE ...AND ANYONE WHO CAN ACCESS YOUR LIKES VISITING YOUR BLOG LIKES REBLOGS APPRECIATION RECOGNITION ASSURANCE EXPOSURE + WITHOUT EXPOSURE AN ARTIST BECOMES INVISIBLE THE EASIEST WAY TO SUPPORT AN ARTIST ON TUMBLR AND HELP THEM GAIN EXPOSURE IS TO REBLOG THEIR WORK. SUPPORT YOUR FAVOURITE ARTISTS. LIKE+REBLOG THEIR ARTWORK. my-flourish-and-blotts: nocturnenebula‌: EDIT: This post is inclusive to ALL art forms. Likes can only go so far for artists. Artists may exclusively upload their artwork to tumblr, or don’t have the time to use other sites and prefer tumblr over deviantART due to its simplicity, but the tagging system can make it harder to navigate. Many artists on tumblr tag with high-traffic tags or use their own tags to prevent tag clogging which eventually become lost. That’s why it’s very important to reblog an artist’s work.  I’m not trying to push you to ruin your blog’s aesthetic or something, nor am I saying that “you must absolutely reblog your favourite artist’s work or you’re trash”, all I’m saying is if you truly want to support your favourite artist, instead of just liking their posts, try to reblog them once in a while. The more reblogs they receive, the more exposure/notes/followers they may receive, and it’s just one of the easiest ways to show you care about them. *This does not mean to reblog unsourced artwork or works reuploaded to another person’s blog without permission (re:stolen). Nor does this mean to reblog artworks without the artist’s consent, even if this case is slim.
Target, Traffic, and Trash: SUPPORT ARTISTS ON TUMBLR
 +
 BY REBLOGGING THEIR ARTWORK

 LIKES ARE SEEN BY...
 REBLOGS ARE SEEN BY...
 YOU
 THE ARTIST
 THE ARTIST
 FOLLOWERS
 TUMBLR.COM/LIKED/BY/USERNAME
 ...AND ANYONE
 ...AND ANYONE WHO
 CAN ACCESS YOUR LIKES
 VISITING YOUR BLOG

 LIKES
 REBLOGS
 APPRECIATION
 RECOGNITION
 ASSURANCE
 EXPOSURE
 +

 WITHOUT
 EXPOSURE
 AN ARTIST BECOMES
 INVISIBLE

 THE EASIEST WAY TO SUPPORT
 AN ARTIST ON TUMBLR
 AND HELP THEM GAIN EXPOSURE IS TO
 REBLOG THEIR WORK.
 SUPPORT YOUR FAVOURITE ARTISTS.
 LIKE+REBLOG THEIR ARTWORK.
my-flourish-and-blotts:
nocturnenebula‌:

EDIT: This post is inclusive to ALL art forms.
Likes can only go so far for artists. Artists may exclusively upload their artwork to tumblr, or don’t have the time to use other sites and prefer tumblr over deviantART due to its simplicity, but the tagging system can make it harder to navigate. Many artists on tumblr tag with high-traffic tags or use their own tags to prevent tag clogging which eventually become lost. That’s why it’s very important to reblog an artist’s work. 
I’m not trying to push you to ruin your blog’s aesthetic or something, nor am I saying that “you must absolutely reblog your favourite artist’s work or you’re trash”, all I’m saying is if you truly want to support your favourite artist, instead of just liking their posts, try to reblog them once in a while. The more reblogs they receive, the more exposure/notes/followers they may receive, and it’s just one of the easiest ways to show you care about them.
*This does not mean to reblog unsourced artwork or works reuploaded to another person’s blog without permission (re:stolen). Nor does this mean to reblog artworks without the artist’s consent, even if this case is slim.

my-flourish-and-blotts: nocturnenebula‌: EDIT: This post is inclusive to ALL art forms. Likes can only go so far for artists. Artists may e...

Bad, Jesus, and Lol: Today jesus you are rough on pants 331 A get angry with them that have to wear them. 700 AM holy hell, there are better ways to deal with that than to mas- sacre them. Most of us just, stay with me here... Take them off poor things did nothing to you. 740 AM The First step is admitting vou have a problem though. so it sounds like you've accepted your role in this and are ready for the next step. 744 AM Absolutely ready for the next step. Just not sure what that is lol 749 AM we've got to get you out of them and to an environment where you can't hurt them anymore. we in the industry call this place, 'South, I've been there, and you wouldn't believe it. there is not a single pant in sight. the good news is Im an expert at finding this mysterious place. I can guide you out of those pants and in to something far less appropriate 756 AM Sounds like an excellent next step 804 AM I think we need to rehearse before we take any drastic steps I'm going to need to see what I'm getting myself into. 811 AM Rehearsal is a must 812 AM Rehearsals start Monday Anytime that works for you. I do make house calls, but it's going to cost you extra 816 AM Oh darn. Not sure I can afford extra and leave a nice tip В19 АМ Don't worry about the tip, we can work something out а21 AN Oh perfect! 822 AM for my records I'm going to need you to fill out these forms. Full name: Proffered Contact: requested Appointment time Location 824 AM reason for visit 824 AM 9:45pm .I've been naughty.. 8:25 AM ille Oh forgot one. 826 AM Ok I've got you booked in for Monday I will be out of the office this weekend but just in case things get bad and you need to talk, ill keep my phone on me. looking forvward to touching bases with you and getting you out of those pants. 834 A Sounds great. Thanks so much for all the help and support 8:35 AM +pes meesnge She had 5 photos with ripped jeans
Bad, Jesus, and Lol: Today
 jesus you are rough on pants
 331 A
 get angry with them that
 have to wear them.
 700 AM
 holy hell, there are better ways
 to deal with that than to mas-
 sacre them. Most of us just, stay
 with me here... Take them off
 poor things did nothing to you.
 740 AM
 The First step is admitting vou
 have a problem though. so it
 sounds like you've accepted your
 role in this and are ready for the
 next step.
 744 AM
 Absolutely ready for the
 next step. Just not sure
 what that is lol
 749 AM
 we've got to get you out of them
 and to an environment where
 you can't hurt them anymore.
 we in the industry call this place,
 'South, I've been there, and you
 wouldn't believe it. there is not
 a single pant in sight. the good
 news is Im an expert at finding
 this mysterious place. I can guide
 you out of those pants and in to
 something far less appropriate
 756 AM
 Sounds like an excellent
 next step
 804 AM
 I think we need to rehearse
 before we take any drastic steps
 I'm going to need to see what I'm
 getting myself into.
 811 AM
 Rehearsal is a must
 812 AM
 Rehearsals start Monday Anytime
 that works for you. I do make
 house calls, but it's going to cost
 you extra
 816 AM
 Oh darn. Not sure I can
 afford extra and leave a
 nice tip
 В19 АМ
 Don't worry about the tip, we can
 work something out
 а21 AN
 Oh perfect!
 822 AM
 for my records I'm going to need
 you to fill out these forms.
 Full name:
 Proffered Contact:
 requested Appointment
 time
 Location
 824 AM
 reason for visit
 824 AM
 9:45pm
 .I've been naughty..
 8:25 AM
 ille
 Oh forgot one.
 826 AM
 Ok I've got you booked in for
 Monday I will be out of the office
 this weekend but just in case
 things get bad and you need
 to talk, ill keep my phone on
 me. looking forvward to touching
 bases with you and getting you
 out of those pants.
 834 A
 Sounds great. Thanks so
 much for all the help and
 support
 8:35 AM
 +pes meesnge
She had 5 photos with ripped jeans

She had 5 photos with ripped jeans