arms


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

        🔥 | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            







    arms: Up in arms about defunding 12 but quite about teachers buying kids school supplies. by battleangel1999
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: Up in arms about defunding 12 but quite about teachers buying kids school supplies. by battleangel1999
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Up in arms about defunding 12 but quite about teachers buying kids school supplies. by battleangel1999
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            







    arms: The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government - Thomas Jefferson
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government - Thomas Jefferson
                
            

            
            
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: takamatsu-kun:

Prox wip bc I love her and her giant arms hhhhh
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: takamatsu-kun:

Prox wip bc I love her and her giant arms hhhhh
                
            

            
            
takamatsu-kun:

Prox wip bc I love her and her giant arms hhhhh

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: Arms dealer
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: Arms dealer
                
            

            
            
Arms dealer

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: smug-mercy:

thebootydiaries:

saddestblogger:

your shaved arms are lovely m’lady

dont insult otis like this

Otis is literally trans, do not lump him in with the cishets


Otis is what
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: smug-mercy:

thebootydiaries:

saddestblogger:

your shaved arms are lovely m’lady

dont insult otis like this

Otis is literally trans, do not lump him in with the cishets


Otis is what
                
            

            
            
smug-mercy:

thebootydiaries:

saddestblogger:

your shaved arms are lovely m’lady

dont insult otis like this

Otis is literally trans,...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: Shoot his legs, then arms, then legs again, then head
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: Shoot his legs, then arms, then legs again, then head
                
            

            
            
Shoot his legs, then arms, then legs again, then head

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: If I could I would grow extra arms just to pet dogs and tell them how much of a good pup they areTw ajvoelpelcg
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: If I could I would grow extra arms just to pet dogs and tell them how much of a good pup they areTw ajvoelpelcg
                
            

            
            
If I could I would grow extra arms just to pet dogs and tell them how much of a good pup they areTw ajvoelpelcg

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            







    arms: You always want to train legs, my arms need some attention too.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #workout #gymaholic #meme
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: You always want to train legs, my arms need some attention too.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #workout #gymaholic #meme
                
            

            
            
You always want to train legs, my arms need some attention too.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #workout #...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

                
            

            
            
cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the g...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: electrifyingnight:

imaghosttown:


kradeiz:

arrghigiveup:

gale-of-the-nomads:

notsomerryerry:

chabbit:

bulbasaur-propaganda:

Growing up with your starters
Artist: 

esasi8794 / Twitter

The captions are also really cute, although they mostly describe what’s in each photo:
Bulbasaur: Somehow, nomming on my clothes… has become a weird habit of theirs.
Venusaur: That hasn’t changed now that they’ve grown, but they’re very gentle.
Charmander: It’s my first attempt, but I made a plushie so that he wouldn’t get lonely.
Charizard: That plushie seems to be his favorite even now.
Squirtle: Squirtle’s a bit timid and hides behind me at the smallest things.
Blastoise: Looks like they’re scared of the first Pichu they’ve seen. You’re not really hiding!



@noelle217 



This is adorable 

They just posted some more!
[source]

And some more! 

“They like to fawn around like a spoiled kid between my arms”   “Since they got big, They’ve become bold.”
“They hold my hands, playfully touching.”“He’s not obedient, he touches my hands when I sleep/nap.”
“They seek attention when I’m sulking.”“Now they’re big, they do it unwaveringly, but, It’s a little cute…”

“When they worry, they wrap (their tail) around things.”“Since becoming big, they’re restrained.” 
“When it’s attention time, they take their place in my clothes.” “Uh,,, my clothes,, oh you’re so happy, well, in that case it’s good…”
“They hold out a pretty flower for me.”“Today, they held out a (spring flower?) to me. Thanks!!” 



Thank you for the updated translations!

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: electrifyingnight:

imaghosttown:


kradeiz:

arrghigiveup:

gale-of-the-nomads:

notsomerryerry:

chabbit:

bulbasaur-propaganda:

Growing up with your starters
Artist: 

esasi8794 / Twitter

The captions are also really cute, although they mostly describe what’s in each photo:
Bulbasaur: Somehow, nomming on my clothes… has become a weird habit of theirs.
Venusaur: That hasn’t changed now that they’ve grown, but they’re very gentle.
Charmander: It’s my first attempt, but I made a plushie so that he wouldn’t get lonely.
Charizard: That plushie seems to be his favorite even now.
Squirtle: Squirtle’s a bit timid and hides behind me at the smallest things.
Blastoise: Looks like they’re scared of the first Pichu they’ve seen. You’re not really hiding!



@noelle217 



This is adorable 

They just posted some more!
[source]

And some more! 

“They like to fawn around like a spoiled kid between my arms”   “Since they got big, They’ve become bold.”
“They hold my hands, playfully touching.”“He’s not obedient, he touches my hands when I sleep/nap.”
“They seek attention when I’m sulking.”“Now they’re big, they do it unwaveringly, but, It’s a little cute…”

“When they worry, they wrap (their tail) around things.”“Since becoming big, they’re restrained.” 
“When it’s attention time, they take their place in my clothes.” “Uh,,, my clothes,, oh you’re so happy, well, in that case it’s good…”
“They hold out a pretty flower for me.”“Today, they held out a (spring flower?) to me. Thanks!!” 



Thank you for the updated translations!

                
            

            
            
electrifyingnight:

imaghosttown:


kradeiz:

arrghigiveup:

gale-of-the-nomads:

notsomerryerry:

chabbit:

bulbasaur-propaganda:

Growi...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER



I love this

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER



I love this

                
            

            
            
ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
Th...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: Knees weak, arms are heavy
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: Knees weak, arms are heavy
                
            

            
            
Knees weak, arms are heavy

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: midnight-spectrum-again:

drrockbell:

i-am-corbin-dallas:

thehttydblog:

im-a-hyperion-vault-hunter:

fernacular:


fernacular:

urhella-gaychloe:

keithislactoseintolerant:


wishem:

sherlock-im-not-gay:

zomibom:

lifeofcynch:

gabbyzvolt25:

kvothe-kingkiller:

petroleum-hare:

empresspinto:

blixart:

shoutsofthunder:

swagginsloths:

blixart:

how to draw arms ? ? 

holy fuck

holy fuck is right… but… does it work with legs???


yes !!

but how much extend

^^^^^^^^^^



I NEARLY CHOKED


ENJFDFNFATFVFDF

finally. i can be accurate


This is too fucking great to not reblog

I give it MASCLES
BIG MACHO


🤣🤣


LMAOOOOOO

Okay but for anyone who legit wants to know how to calculate it correctly:
The elbow joint on average rests a couple inches higher than the navel, so if you measure how long the distance is from the middle of the shoulder to that point then you have the length of the upper and fore arms!

So if anyone’s wondering about legs too, the simplest rule of thumb is that the length from the top of the leg to the knee is equal to the distance between the top of the leg and the bottom of the pectorals:
And I wanna stress that when i say “top of the leg” i’m not talking about the crotch (please don’t flag me tumblr it’s an anatomical term) i’m talking about the point where the femur connects to the pelvis, which is higher up on the hips:
It’s easier to see what I’m talking about in this photo of a man squatting: 
So yeah if you use that measurement when using this technique you should get fairly realistically proportioned legs:
But remember! messing with proportions is an important and fun part of character design! Know the rules first so you can then break them however you please!


HOW THE HELL DID I FIND THIS POST OMG




Licherally in the midst of drawing a guy and crying at how bad the arms are. Thanks Tumbles


I only ever saw the part where people started drawing the limbs outrageously long and genuinely wanted to know how to fix that, so I’m really thankful to see the rest.



Love this 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: midnight-spectrum-again:

drrockbell:

i-am-corbin-dallas:

thehttydblog:

im-a-hyperion-vault-hunter:

fernacular:


fernacular:

urhella-gaychloe:

keithislactoseintolerant:


wishem:

sherlock-im-not-gay:

zomibom:

lifeofcynch:

gabbyzvolt25:

kvothe-kingkiller:

petroleum-hare:

empresspinto:

blixart:

shoutsofthunder:

swagginsloths:

blixart:

how to draw arms ? ? 

holy fuck

holy fuck is right… but… does it work with legs???


yes !!

but how much extend

^^^^^^^^^^



I NEARLY CHOKED


ENJFDFNFATFVFDF

finally. i can be accurate


This is too fucking great to not reblog

I give it MASCLES
BIG MACHO


🤣🤣


LMAOOOOOO

Okay but for anyone who legit wants to know how to calculate it correctly:
The elbow joint on average rests a couple inches higher than the navel, so if you measure how long the distance is from the middle of the shoulder to that point then you have the length of the upper and fore arms!

So if anyone’s wondering about legs too, the simplest rule of thumb is that the length from the top of the leg to the knee is equal to the distance between the top of the leg and the bottom of the pectorals:
And I wanna stress that when i say “top of the leg” i’m not talking about the crotch (please don’t flag me tumblr it’s an anatomical term) i’m talking about the point where the femur connects to the pelvis, which is higher up on the hips:
It’s easier to see what I’m talking about in this photo of a man squatting: 
So yeah if you use that measurement when using this technique you should get fairly realistically proportioned legs:
But remember! messing with proportions is an important and fun part of character design! Know the rules first so you can then break them however you please!


HOW THE HELL DID I FIND THIS POST OMG




Licherally in the midst of drawing a guy and crying at how bad the arms are. Thanks Tumbles


I only ever saw the part where people started drawing the limbs outrageously long and genuinely wanted to know how to fix that, so I’m really thankful to see the rest.



Love this 

                
            

            
            
midnight-spectrum-again:

drrockbell:

i-am-corbin-dallas:

thehttydblog:

im-a-hyperion-vault-hunter:

fernacular:


fernacular:

urhell...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: trashasaurusrex:

i hope u guys like strong gorlsif not, im not sorry (i had to practice drawing muscle on the arms a lil and decided to bring lin into it)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: trashasaurusrex:

i hope u guys like strong gorlsif not, im not sorry (i had to practice drawing muscle on the arms a lil and decided to bring lin into it)
                
            

            
            
trashasaurusrex:

i hope u guys like strong gorlsif not, im not sorry (i had to practice drawing muscle on the arms a lil and decided to...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 ....
 ......
 Jake, 27
 Jake, 27
 O less than a mile away
 O less than a mile away
 We may fight, but please don't try and solve
 the argument with regular soda.
 It won't take racial inequality to get me down
 on one knee.
 I prefer diet; we both know you are all the
 sugar I need.
 niftyshadesofjake
 University of Southern California
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 USC CLASS OF 2022
 3,401
 FRESHME
 0% ganted
 Ethically
 granted
 admission
 APPLICATIO
 Jake, 29
 Jake 28
 O less than a mile away
 less than a mile away
 I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help
 I'm having trouble picking a costume.
 Want to help?
 my future children become trojans at USC.
 I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically
 boost my chances of getting a trojan into you.
 Swipe left if you are a fan of ghosting.
 Swipe right if you are a fan of getting
 boned.
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 ..
 let
 6'0"
 A Caded in
 5'6"
 5'0"
 your cave of wonders
 POLICE DEPT.
 4'6"
 (480) 627-9186
 4'0"
 Yes Please
 Jake Arredondo
 3'6"
 Jake, 29
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 O less than a mile away
 Tired of guys lying about their height?
 Here is government proof I am at least 6ft.
 I promise that it will take more than
 a few rubs for anything to come out
 of my magic lamp.
 For our first date, you cook our dinner,
 and I will cook the meth.
 niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 You ok
 Jake, 29
 Still
 Single
 O less than a mile away
 Jake, 27
 As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell).
 I can relate to the current bachelor.
 I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should
 probably start taking dating seriously.
 Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the
 Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me.
 Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart.
 If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just
 swipe left.
 This is the first one I had
 ever created (bad quality).
 This joke took 1,000+ hours
 to máke.
 niftyshadesofjake
 et niftyshadesofjake
 Hmargemadders.com
 Make America Accessible Again
 Jake, 24
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 About Jake
 I am 50% hispanic, so our love could very well be separated
 by Trump's wall. This is why I am proud to announce my
 new company, Largeladders.com
 If we are to go on a date you must wear sandals. No
 socks. I am pro house elf slavery and i cannot risk
 gving my elf his freedom. Furthermore, ifu need me
 to drive, I will have dobby pull me on my scooter and
 you may ride pigty-back style I do this for the
 envronment. Bring your nice flip flops if you want
 me to pay for dinner
 Political oppression might keep us down, but with my new
 ladder company, I will have a way to climb right back into
 your arms.
It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 ....
 ......
 Jake, 27
 Jake, 27
 O less than a mile away
 O less than a mile away
 We may fight, but please don't try and solve
 the argument with regular soda.
 It won't take racial inequality to get me down
 on one knee.
 I prefer diet; we both know you are all the
 sugar I need.
 niftyshadesofjake
 University of Southern California
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 USC CLASS OF 2022
 3,401
 FRESHME
 0% ganted
 Ethically
 granted
 admission
 APPLICATIO
 Jake, 29
 Jake 28
 O less than a mile away
 less than a mile away
 I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help
 I'm having trouble picking a costume.
 Want to help?
 my future children become trojans at USC.
 I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically
 boost my chances of getting a trojan into you.
 Swipe left if you are a fan of ghosting.
 Swipe right if you are a fan of getting
 boned.
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 ..
 let
 6'0"
 A Caded in
 5'6"
 5'0"
 your cave of wonders
 POLICE DEPT.
 4'6"
 (480) 627-9186
 4'0"
 Yes Please
 Jake Arredondo
 3'6"
 Jake, 29
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 O less than a mile away
 Tired of guys lying about their height?
 Here is government proof I am at least 6ft.
 I promise that it will take more than
 a few rubs for anything to come out
 of my magic lamp.
 For our first date, you cook our dinner,
 and I will cook the meth.
 niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 You ok
 Jake, 29
 Still
 Single
 O less than a mile away
 Jake, 27
 As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell).
 I can relate to the current bachelor.
 I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should
 probably start taking dating seriously.
 Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the
 Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me.
 Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart.
 If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just
 swipe left.
 This is the first one I had
 ever created (bad quality).
 This joke took 1,000+ hours
 to máke.
 niftyshadesofjake
 et niftyshadesofjake
 Hmargemadders.com
 Make America Accessible Again
 Jake, 24
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 About Jake
 I am 50% hispanic, so our love could very well be separated
 by Trump's wall. This is why I am proud to announce my
 new company, Largeladders.com
 If we are to go on a date you must wear sandals. No
 socks. I am pro house elf slavery and i cannot risk
 gving my elf his freedom. Furthermore, ifu need me
 to drive, I will have dobby pull me on my scooter and
 you may ride pigty-back style I do this for the
 envronment. Bring your nice flip flops if you want
 me to pay for dinner
 Political oppression might keep us down, but with my new
 ladder company, I will have a way to climb right back into
 your arms.
It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.
                
            

            
            
It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Ä°lke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Ä°lke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook



            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Ä°lke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Ä°lke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook



            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    arms: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Ä°lke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                arms: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Ä°lke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook