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Comfortable, Dude, and Dumb: Insomnia Adventures u/Oceanundertow Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago Get startled by phone ringing It's one of my players Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?" Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?" OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot." Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them." NaniTheFuck.mp3 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?" Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure." Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?" Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises) I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night. Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him I am the dumb dumb mister. positive-memes:Bed time stories
Comfortable, Dude, and Dumb: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them."
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?"
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?"
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister.
positive-memes:Bed time stories

positive-memes:Bed time stories

Chicken, Back, and Tender: I went to the bathroom and came back to a chicken tender missing from my plate. I walked into the other room and he froze like this.
Chicken, Back, and Tender: I went to the bathroom and came back to a chicken tender missing from my plate. I walked into the other room and he froze like this.

I went to the bathroom and came back to a chicken tender missing from my plate. I walked into the other room and he froze like this.

80s, Drinking, and Eminem: @karllscott "how old are you" me: Windows Media Payer Now Playing Library Rip Sync Burn 977 The Hitz Channel Radio . 1009 977 The Hitz Channel 212.72.186.10 1040 1074 00:12 angelique. b_bodai Replying to @karllscott and @kerkreids me 3D Pinbll BALL 9500 Plauer 1 Hit Mission Targets To Select Mission tatiana ME! @listentosigrid Replying to @karllscott and @lalisaswift but also LimeWire: Enabling Open Information Sharing File Yiew Navigation Resources Tools Help LimeWire Monitor Library Search 86) Filter Results: Media Name .Size Sp. All (3) )Outkast - Ghetto Musickm 11 Dem Franchize Boyz -On Top o... mp3 3,425. .T3 r. 128 8 Musical - Rent -525600 Minutes mp3 3,844.. .T3 r.. 160 2 Afroman - Because l Got High (M.. mpg 33,35. .Modem 2 Jay-z Jay Music Videos Dirt..mpg 47,19...Modem 2 7 Jay-Z- Jay - Music Videos- Dirt Off Your Shor Audio mp3 5,528... T3 or 192 Programs Video Emniom Artist Fort Minor 70's & 80's Music Nancy 2 aLirWayne - Fireman (Musi rish Drinking Songs 2Chingy Right Thur Music Video .. mpg 39,43...Modem 2pac Ft. Outlawz & Val Young . mp3 5,133 192 Eminem Stan (Full Uncut Versio... mpeg 83,22.. . Modem @lD12 & Eminem-Fight Music mp3 6,170…Modem 192 Techno - Abercrombie & Fitch - . mp3 4,044.. T3 o .. 128 MC Hammer & Vailla Ice- Play T.. mp3 4,644.. . T3 or . 128 House music-Techno - Dance Ra.. mp3 4,045... T3 or .. 128 dd 纽DJ Tiesto -li e@Heineken Mus..zip 851,7,.cable/. Juelz Santana Musical-Rent Album All (8) 1970 Those Fabulous '70s Devil's Night (Advance) Ghettomusick YLS Back To Search Download Browse Host Stop Search Junk tmagnetmix.comTt Purchase Limewire PRO to help us make downloads faster DI Lime Wire bledia Player hanif halimi @hanifgenzo Replying to @karllscot Windows Live Messenger Sian in to Windows Live Messenger example555@hotmail.com Password Can't sign in? Sign in as: Available- □ Remember my ID and password Sign me in automatically Cancel Sign in Don't have a Windows Live ID? Sign up Privacy statment Terms of use Options
80s, Drinking, and Eminem: @karllscott
 "how old are you"
 me:
 Windows Media Payer
 Now Playing
 Library
 Rip
 Sync
 Burn
 977 The Hitz Channel
 Radio .
 1009
 977 The Hitz Channel
 212.72.186.10
 1040
 1074
 00:12

 angelique.
 b_bodai
 Replying to @karllscott and @kerkreids
 me
 3D Pinbll
 BALL
 9500
 Plauer 1
 Hit Mission
 Targets To
 Select Mission

 tatiana ME!
 @listentosigrid
 Replying to @karllscott and @lalisaswift
 but also
 LimeWire: Enabling Open Information Sharing
 File Yiew Navigation Resources Tools Help
 LimeWire
 Monitor
 Library
 Search
 86)
 Filter Results:
 Media
 Name
 .Size Sp.
 All (3)
 )Outkast - Ghetto Musickm
 11 Dem Franchize Boyz -On Top o... mp3 3,425. .T3 r. 128
 8 Musical - Rent -525600 Minutes mp3 3,844.. .T3 r.. 160
 2 Afroman - Because l Got High (M.. mpg 33,35. .Modem
 2 Jay-z Jay Music Videos Dirt..mpg 47,19...Modem
 2 7 Jay-Z- Jay - Music Videos- Dirt Off Your Shor
 Audio
 mp3 5,528... T3 or 192
 Programs
 Video
 Emniom Artist
 Fort Minor
 70's & 80's Music Nancy
 2 aLirWayne - Fireman (Musi
 rish Drinking Songs
 2Chingy Right Thur Music Video .. mpg 39,43...Modem
 2pac Ft. Outlawz & Val Young . mp3 5,133 192
 Eminem Stan (Full Uncut Versio... mpeg 83,22.. . Modem
 @lD12 & Eminem-Fight Music mp3 6,170…Modem 192
 Techno - Abercrombie & Fitch - . mp3 4,044.. T3 o .. 128
 MC Hammer & Vailla Ice- Play T.. mp3 4,644.. . T3 or . 128
 House music-Techno - Dance Ra.. mp3 4,045... T3 or .. 128
 dd 纽DJ Tiesto -li e@Heineken Mus..zip 851,7,.cable/.
 Juelz Santana
 Musical-Rent
 Album
 All (8)
 1970 Those Fabulous '70s
 Devil's Night (Advance)
 Ghettomusick YLS
 Back To Search
 Download
 Browse Host
 Stop Search
 Junk
 tmagnetmix.comTt
 Purchase Limewire PRO to help us make downloads faster
 DI Lime Wire bledia Player

 hanif halimi
 @hanifgenzo
 Replying to @karllscot
 Windows Live Messenger
 Sian in to
 Windows Live Messenger
 example555@hotmail.com
 Password
 Can't sign in?
 Sign in as:
 Available-
 □ Remember my ID and password
 Sign me in automatically
 Cancel
 Sign in
 Don't have a Windows Live ID? Sign up
 Privacy statment Terms of use Options
Crime, Jail, and My House: uncleromeo when I was 11, my (black) neighbor witnessed my house being broken into. she called the police to report the crime. I came home from school and the robber was still inside. I personally watched as a man I didnt know walked out of my home with our stuff. the police didnt show up for 3 days. when they did, they told us there was nothing the could do because we "staged the house". they claimed we hid our tv's and valuables to make it look like more was actually stolen. they never asked for a description, never visited the neighbor who saw the break-in, anf as they left, they told us that stolen property is almost never recovered and we should "buy more and get on with [our] lives" when I was 23, I was dog-sitting for a (white) friend. her neighbor called the police and said there was a strange black man in her yard. the police showed up in 5 minutes. 6 units, 12 officers, stormed the back yard as I was running around with the dog. some came through the house and I know for a fact that the front door was locked. they damaged around $5000 worth of property, took her dog to the pound, and me to jail. my friend had to cut her trip short and drive 4 hours back to get me from jail and explain to police in person that she knew me. because "that could be anybody on the phone". the neighbor was with her when she came. we had met several times before. she was neither embarrassed nor apologetic. moral of the story? too many of us have lived this. too many of us didn't survive. Wow
Crime, Jail, and My House: uncleromeo
 when I was 11, my (black) neighbor witnessed my house being broken into.
 she called the police to report the crime. I came home from school and the
 robber was still inside. I personally watched as a man I didnt know walked out
 of my home with our stuff.
 the police didnt show up for 3 days.
 when they did, they told us there was nothing the could do because we
 "staged the house". they claimed we hid our tv's and valuables to make it look
 like more was actually stolen. they never asked for a description, never visited
 the neighbor who saw the break-in, anf as they left, they told us that stolen
 property is almost never recovered and we should "buy more and get on with
 [our] lives"
 when I was 23, I was dog-sitting for a (white) friend. her neighbor called the
 police and said there was a strange black man in her yard.
 the police showed up in 5 minutes.
 6 units, 12 officers, stormed the back yard as I was running around with the
 dog. some came through the house and I know for a fact that the front door
 was locked. they damaged around $5000 worth of property, took her dog to
 the pound, and me to jail.
 my friend had to cut her trip short and drive 4 hours back to get me from jail
 and explain to police in person that she knew me. because "that could be
 anybody on the phone". the neighbor was with her when she came. we had
 met several times before. she was neither embarrassed nor apologetic.
 moral of the story?
 too many of us have lived this. too many of us didn't survive.
Wow

Wow

Being Alone, Beard, and Braids: Dwarven Hair Customs Much Like Orcs and Elves, Dwarves have many rules and customs in regards to their hair. Unlike Elves, who believe the act of cutting their hair is shameful, or Orcs who only maintain their hair until battle (an orcish answer to throwing down the gauntlet), a Dwarf will cut or restyle their hair at certain turning points during their life, such as reaching adulthood, marriage, a major victory loss (but not limited to) or on the battlefield, and death. Youth (50 and below) Simple, Free Ribbons -Beard hasn't come in fully No beads -No braids Usually or in a ponytail are popular with the kids worn loose Adulthood (51-200) (loose) Braids allowed Hair is very long if unmarried Beads can be earned -Improper entírely loose at this point ín life to wear hair AURUstETFe Old Age (200+ -Worn up, if long enough if short, ribbons, horsehair, wool, will be used to emulate longer hair etc Important note: the hair of a dwarf can be cut, but the beard gets left alone. Every dwarf grows a beard. If a dwarfling's beard hasnt come in by the time theyre 51, they remain a dwarfling until they grow one <Marriage Anewly married dwarf will cut off their hair in the back to signify commitment. Couples are disallowed from dívorce until both parties have regrown their hair to their shoulders (usually about 2 months). A married dwarf will cap their braids. 00 Victory This celebratory haircstyle is characterised by excessive decoration and braids, to be worn for 2 weeks, upon which the dwarf will add another bead to their everyday attire. < Battlefield Loss/Death of Loved One a Signified by an entirely clipped head of hair, when'a major loss is suffered in life, it's unlucky giving up some of your pride. not to pay it due respect by Death and Burial> A dwarf passingov must have their hair covered so that no beasts or demons see their life experiences. They to be allowed before the gods over into the afterlife on the journey may are said to uncover themselves AubuSE2fe filibusterfrog:dwarven hair customs
Being Alone, Beard, and Braids: Dwarven Hair Customs
 Much Like Orcs and Elves, Dwarves have
 many rules and customs in regards to their
 hair.
 Unlike Elves, who believe the act of cutting
 their hair is shameful, or Orcs who only maintain
 their hair until battle (an orcish answer to
 throwing down the gauntlet), a Dwarf will cut
 or restyle their hair at certain turning points
 during their life, such as
 reaching adulthood, marriage, a major victory
 loss
 (but not limited to)
 or
 on the battlefield, and death.
 Youth (50 and below)
 Simple, Free
 Ribbons
 -Beard hasn't come in
 fully
 No beads
 -No braids
 Usually
 or in a ponytail
 are
 popular
 with the
 kids
 worn loose
 Adulthood (51-200)
 (loose)
 Braids allowed
 Hair is very long
 if unmarried
 Beads can be earned
 -Improper
 entírely loose at this
 point ín life
 to wear hair
 AURUstETFe

 Old Age (200+
 -Worn up, if long
 enough
 if short, ribbons,
 horsehair, wool,
 will be used to
 emulate longer hair
 etc
 Important note: the hair of a dwarf can be cut, but the beard gets left alone.
 Every dwarf grows a beard. If a dwarfling's beard hasnt come in by the time
 theyre 51, they remain a dwarfling until they grow one
 <Marriage
 Anewly married dwarf will cut
 off their hair in the back to signify
 commitment. Couples are
 disallowed from dívorce until both
 parties have regrown their hair to
 their shoulders (usually about 2
 months). A married dwarf will cap
 their braids.
 00
 Victory
 This celebratory haircstyle is
 characterised by excessive decoration
 and braids, to be worn for 2 weeks,
 upon which the dwarf will add another
 bead to their everyday attire.
 < Battlefield Loss/Death of
 Loved One
 a
 Signified by an entirely clipped head of
 hair, when'a major loss is suffered in life,
 it's unlucky
 giving up some of your pride.
 not to pay it due respect by
 Death and Burial>
 A dwarf passingov
 must have their hair covered so that
 no beasts or demons
 see their life experiences. They
 to be allowed
 before the gods
 over into the afterlife
 on the journey may
 are said
 to uncover themselves
 AubuSE2fe
filibusterfrog:dwarven hair customs

filibusterfrog:dwarven hair customs