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bag: what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making THANK YOU I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.” The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents. When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious. God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent “I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.” I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future. Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that. My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad. To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time. It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.
 bag: what-even-is-thiss:

bobcatdump:

jaskiegg:

mellomaia:

aphony-cree:

beyoncescock:

gahdamnpunk:

Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making


THANK YOU

I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.”
The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner
If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents 
People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings

Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents.
When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. 
I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.



God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent

“I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this



The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. 
A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.”
I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future.
Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that.
My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad.
To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time.
It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.

what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychologica...

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bag: She secured the BAG 👑 (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)
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bag: livelaughlovematters: This anti theft and waterproof large capacity bag is perfect for daily use! This will make a great gift for your friends and family! => AVAILABLE HERE <=
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bag: My bag of coffee made me chuckle, but was also very accurate
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bag: Thailand started 2020 with a major plastic bag ban so now people have made it a trend to put their shoppings in random things.
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Thailand started 2020 with a major plastic bag ban so now people have made it a trend to put their shoppings in random things.

bag: Thailand started 2020 with a major plastic bag ban so now people have made it a trend to put their shoppings in random things.
 bag: Thailand started 2020 with a major plastic bag ban so now people have made it a trend to put their shoppings in random things.

Thailand started 2020 with a major plastic bag ban so now people have made it a trend to put their shoppings in random things.

bag: Thailand started 2020 with a major plastic bag ban so now people have made it a trend to put their shoppings in random things.
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bag: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality or Preparing for the End or Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm Stuck Dealing With This Mess ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS. Featuring Helpful Sections such as: Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone What the Everloving Fuck is Probate Some Simple Dos and Don’ts Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials How to plan a non-religious death party So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death. I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together. Good luck! (in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit) @ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission. YES, please share it! And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died. You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK. I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate. But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap. This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.
 bag: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality
 or
 Preparing for the End
 or
 Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm
 Stuck Dealing With This Mess
ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:
ms-demeanor:


jhinnua:

ms-demeanor:

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as: 
Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and
how to get them
Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
Some Simple Dos and Don’ts
Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and
Memorials
How to plan a non-religious death party
So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some
shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. 
It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.
I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)


@ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission.

YES, please share it!
And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. 


Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. 
But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. 
I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died.
You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK.
I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate.
But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap.
This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. 
This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. 

Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.

ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of b...