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Amazon, Ass, and Dildo: bandtshirt jillz @JillyKila Amazon got me fucked up tellin all my business!!! 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone LMAO00000000 theblackd4hlia no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible anonbuddha If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and bounced into the stall next to me The OCCUPIED stall next to me. I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his foot i havent laughed this hard in a month via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2DXBsD0
Amazon, Ass, and Dildo: bandtshirt
 jillz
 @JillyKila
 Amazon got me fucked up tellin all
 my business!!!
 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone
 LMAO00000000
 theblackd4hlia
 no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big
 ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause
 i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment
 office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery
 notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass
 down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package
 delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick
 shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to
 grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just
 wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible
 anonbuddha
 If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I
 was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast
 and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and
 bounced into the stall next to me
 The OCCUPIED stall next to me.
 I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the
 dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his
 foot
i havent laughed this hard in a month via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2DXBsD0

i havent laughed this hard in a month via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2DXBsD0

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: dark balls of sight pancakeke: birdantlers: Everybody go tf home I have officially found a worse name for eyes than ‘orbs’ can’t believe I had to read this with my own balls
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: dark balls of sight
pancakeke:

birdantlers:
Everybody go tf home I have officially found a worse name for eyes than ‘orbs’
can’t believe I had to read this with my own balls

pancakeke: birdantlers: Everybody go tf home I have officially found a worse name for eyes than ‘orbs’ can’t believe I had to read this wit...

Crazy, Driving, and Huh: Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson "He started putting his penis near her vagina. It was BIG. His penis, that is. Not her vagina. THAT was small. Anyways, so his penis is starting to get near her vagina." -excerpt from the sexy kinky book I'm writing 18:01 29 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone Patti Harrison @Party Harderson once he put his penis near my vagina, THATS when I knew it was going in there soon Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson Then he asked with a smile on his amazing face 'Are you ready for my huge penis stuck in there? Your vagina? and that's when she said, "Yah" and it was time to get it put in Patti Harrison @Party Harderson Had a really really hard time figuring out the quotation marks on this one Patti Harrison @Party Harderson "She arched her back that was unshaved but was naturally hairless. Yes to this sex! She said about it He laughed his pleasure laugh. His Rod was inside & his balls were on the outside the way it ought to be Yes. She screamed each time the cock was in there pokin" Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson That's when he did a move she really liked a lot. He rolled her over on her hairless stomach. 'It's time for it from behind he said, naked Huh? I don't think she heard him It's time for it from behind' he repeated himself moaning during Nice!' She heard him this time Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson "Mmm you feel that?" she said getting it in her pussy "Yah it's really good! I love this it's amazing!" he yelled "Mmm really glad you like it." She said, pointing down to her pussy Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson THEN? She start riding on his penis on top of him as if he were a car & she was driving the car! "Awhaaawlm!" she moaned, the pleasure crazy like a big storm "My penis feels so good. It's hard & this life is crazy" smacking his lips "Yah" she nodded, her tits were there Patti Harrison @Party Harderson I abandoned the quotation mark format I started with because I myself could not comprehend it Mara "Get Rid of the Nazis" Wilson @MaraWilson Replying to @Party_Harderson Put me in rice 19:34 29 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone Christopher Sabat Replying to @Party Harderson Please let me know when you need a narrator for your audiobook. 7:32 30 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone NSFW - Patti Harrison Quotes Her Sexy Kinky Book
Crazy, Driving, and Huh: Patti Harrison
 @Party_Harderson
 "He started putting his penis near her
 vagina. It was BIG. His penis, that is. Not
 her vagina. THAT was small. Anyways, so
 his penis is starting to get near her vagina."
 -excerpt from the sexy kinky book
 I'm writing
 18:01 29 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone
 Patti Harrison
 @Party Harderson
 once he put his penis near my vagina,
 THATS when I knew it was going in
 there soon
 Patti Harrison
 @Party_Harderson
 Then he asked with a smile on his
 amazing face 'Are you ready for my huge
 penis stuck in there? Your vagina?
 and that's when she said, "Yah"
 and it was time to get it put in
 Patti Harrison
 @Party Harderson
 Had a really really hard time figuring out
 the quotation marks on this one
 Patti Harrison
 @Party Harderson
 "She arched her back that was unshaved
 but was naturally hairless. Yes to this sex!
 She said about it
 He laughed his pleasure laugh. His Rod
 was inside & his balls were on the outside
 the way it ought to be
 Yes. She screamed each time the cock
 was in there pokin"
 Patti Harrison
 @Party_Harderson
 That's when he did a move she really liked
 a lot. He rolled her over on her hairless
 stomach. 'It's time for it from behind
 he said, naked
 Huh? I don't think she heard him
 It's time for it from behind' he repeated
 himself moaning during
 Nice!' She heard him this time
 Patti Harrison
 @Party_Harderson
 "Mmm you feel that?" she said getting
 it in her pussy
 "Yah it's really good! I love this it's
 amazing!" he yelled
 "Mmm really glad you like it." She said,
 pointing down to her pussy
 Patti Harrison
 @Party_Harderson
 THEN? She start riding on his penis on
 top of him as if he were a car & she was
 driving the car!
 "Awhaaawlm!" she moaned, the pleasure
 crazy like a big storm
 "My penis feels so good. It's hard & this life
 is crazy" smacking his lips
 "Yah" she nodded, her tits were there
 Patti Harrison
 @Party Harderson
 I abandoned the quotation mark format
 I started with because I myself could
 not comprehend it
 Mara "Get Rid of the Nazis" Wilson
 @MaraWilson
 Replying to @Party_Harderson
 Put me in rice
 19:34 29 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone
 Christopher Sabat
 Replying to @Party Harderson
 Please let me know when you need a
 narrator for your audiobook.
 7:32 30 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone
NSFW - Patti Harrison Quotes Her Sexy Kinky Book

NSFW - Patti Harrison Quotes Her Sexy Kinky Book

Crazy, Driving, and Huh: Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson "He started putting his penis near her vagina. It was BIG. His penis, that is. Not her vagina. THAT was small. Anyways, so his penis is starting to get near her vagina." -excerpt from the sexy kinky book I'm writing 18:01 29 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson once he put his penis near my vagina, THAT'S when I knew it was going in there soon Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson "Then he asked with a smile on his amazing face 'Are you ready for my huge penis stuck in there? Your vagina?' and that's when she said, "Yah" and it was time to get it put in Patti Harrison @Party Harderson Had a really really hard time figuring out the quotation marks on this one Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson "She arched her back that was unshaved but was naturally hairless. 'Yes to this sex!' She said about it. He laughed his pleasure laugh. His Rod was inside & his balls were on the outside the way it ought to be 'Yes. She screamed each time the cock was in there pokin" Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson That's when he did a move she really liked a lot. He rolled her over on her hairless stomach. 'It's time for it from behind' he said, naked Huh?' I don't think she heard hinm It's time for it from behind' he repeated himself moaning during Nice!' She heard him this time Patti Harrison @Party Harderson "Mmm you feel that?" she said getting it in her pussy "Yah it's really good! I love this it's amazing!" he yelled "Mmm really glad you like it." She said, pointing down to her pussy Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson THEN? She start riding on his penis on top of him as if he were a car & she was driving the car! "Awhaaawlm!" she moaned, the pleasure crazy like a big stormm "My penis feels so good. It's hard & this life is crazy" smacking his lips "Yah" she nodded, her tits were there Patti Harrison @Party Harderson I abandoned the quotation mark format I started with because I myself could not comprehend it Mara "Get Rid of the Nazis" Wilson @MaraWilson Replying to @Party Harderson Put me in rice 19:34 29 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone Christopher Sabat Replying to@Party_Harderson Please let me know when you need a narrator for your audiobook. 7:32 30 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone NSFW - Patti Harrison Quotes Her Sexy Kinky Book
Crazy, Driving, and Huh: Patti Harrison
 @Party_Harderson
 "He started putting his penis near her
 vagina. It was BIG. His penis, that is. Not
 her vagina. THAT was small. Anyways, so
 his penis is starting to get near her vagina."
 -excerpt from the sexy kinky book
 I'm writing
 18:01 29 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone
 Patti Harrison
 @Party_Harderson
 once he put his penis near my vagina,
 THAT'S when I knew it was going in
 there soon
 Patti Harrison
 @Party_Harderson
 "Then he asked with a smile on his
 amazing face 'Are you ready for my huge
 penis stuck in there? Your vagina?'
 and that's when she said, "Yah"
 and it was time to get it put in
 Patti Harrison
 @Party Harderson
 Had a really really hard time figuring out
 the quotation marks on this one
 Patti Harrison
 @Party_Harderson
 "She arched her back that was unshaved
 but was naturally hairless. 'Yes to this sex!'
 She said about it.
 He laughed his pleasure laugh. His Rod
 was inside & his balls were on the outside
 the way it ought to be
 'Yes. She screamed each time the cock
 was in there pokin"
 Patti Harrison
 @Party_Harderson
 That's when he did a move she really liked
 a lot. He rolled her over on her hairless
 stomach. 'It's time for it from behind'
 he said, naked
 Huh?' I don't think she heard hinm
 It's time for it from behind' he repeated
 himself moaning during
 Nice!' She heard him this time
 Patti Harrison
 @Party Harderson
 "Mmm you feel that?" she said getting
 it in her pussy
 "Yah it's really good! I love this it's
 amazing!" he yelled
 "Mmm really glad you like it." She said,
 pointing down to her pussy
 Patti Harrison
 @Party_Harderson
 THEN? She start riding on his penis on
 top of him as if he were a car & she was
 driving the car!
 "Awhaaawlm!" she moaned, the pleasure
 crazy like a big stormm
 "My penis feels so good. It's hard & this life
 is crazy" smacking his lips
 "Yah" she nodded, her tits were there
 Patti Harrison
 @Party Harderson
 I abandoned the quotation mark format
 I started with because I myself could
 not comprehend it
 Mara "Get Rid of the Nazis" Wilson
 @MaraWilson
 Replying to @Party Harderson
 Put me in rice
 19:34 29 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone
 Christopher Sabat
 Replying to@Party_Harderson
 Please let me know when you need a
 narrator for your audiobook.
 7:32 30 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone
NSFW - Patti Harrison Quotes Her Sexy Kinky Book

NSFW - Patti Harrison Quotes Her Sexy Kinky Book

Apple, Bless Up, and Drake: Three weeks ago she was at the pound - now she's transformed to Action Pup.! So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on this cold a$$ 12 degree day and my speakers start blasting Miguel, Banana Clip. FAM! I don’t even remember downloading this album! But this joint HARD! 😂 I felt like Miguel lil 5 foot a$$ was next to me serenading me, singing in the passenger seat egging me on go hard at the gym! I was Iike wow this adorable lil munchkin go hard! And then it dawned on me 🤔...5 footers really be going the hardest! 🐛 Kevin Hart - 5 foot. Tom cruise - 5 foot. Shiggy the comedian who invented the drake Kiki dance (DRAaAaAaAake! 😂) - 5 foot. They out there ... ENTERTAINING. Ladies don’t shleep. I know most of u pretty tings got a 6-4 cutoff and I don’t blame y’all! But maybe what u need is a 5 footer who really gon do the most! Serenade u in the shower! Make u laugh! “Smash I’m not tryina hear that, my son in fifth grade already taller than that I can’t bring a man into my house who reach to my son’s chest” BB 👏 GIRL 👏 DO 👏 WHAT 👏 U 👏 FEEL 👏. And by the way, for all you men who only swipe right on short women may I ask you to consider finding yourself a tall drink of water in 2019. I used to talk to a volleyball player who was 6-1 and let me tell you fam she was a sight to behold. Legs so long you could slide down them h0es like a fire pole. Cheeks like beach balls. She was a whole lotta woman! A foot long sub for the price of a six inch famalam! I am telling you, you might not think it’s your thing but u might hecc around and fall in love. “But smash, I’m 5-11 which is really a lie I’m actually 5-7 and three quarter but I say I’m 5-11 - if she 6-1 then in heels she finna be 6-4 fam I’m gon look like her handsome middle school son.” Well bish embrace that! Find you a Mama! Maybe your mama was wiling out when you were growing up and u need a woman to HECC around and spank u. Maybe eem spike you! 🏐 Maybe that’s what you been missing all your life. “smash you really Wilding today.” INDEEDY! Smash simply raising this hypothesis for ya consideration lmao BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 2: @tatertot_thecorgi_)
Apple, Bless Up, and Drake: Three weeks ago she was at the pound - now she's
 transformed to Action Pup.!
So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on this cold a$$ 12 degree day and my speakers start blasting Miguel, Banana Clip. FAM! I don’t even remember downloading this album! But this joint HARD! 😂 I felt like Miguel lil 5 foot a$$ was next to me serenading me, singing in the passenger seat egging me on go hard at the gym! I was Iike wow this adorable lil munchkin go hard! And then it dawned on me 🤔...5 footers really be going the hardest! 🐛 Kevin Hart - 5 foot. Tom cruise - 5 foot. Shiggy the comedian who invented the drake Kiki dance (DRAaAaAaAake! 😂) - 5 foot. They out there ... ENTERTAINING. Ladies don’t shleep. I know most of u pretty tings got a 6-4 cutoff and I don’t blame y’all! But maybe what u need is a 5 footer who really gon do the most! Serenade u in the shower! Make u laugh! “Smash I’m not tryina hear that, my son in fifth grade already taller than that I can’t bring a man into my house who reach to my son’s chest” BB 👏 GIRL 👏 DO 👏 WHAT 👏 U 👏 FEEL 👏. And by the way, for all you men who only swipe right on short women may I ask you to consider finding yourself a tall drink of water in 2019. I used to talk to a volleyball player who was 6-1 and let me tell you fam she was a sight to behold. Legs so long you could slide down them h0es like a fire pole. Cheeks like beach balls. She was a whole lotta woman! A foot long sub for the price of a six inch famalam! I am telling you, you might not think it’s your thing but u might hecc around and fall in love. “But smash, I’m 5-11 which is really a lie I’m actually 5-7 and three quarter but I say I’m 5-11 - if she 6-1 then in heels she finna be 6-4 fam I’m gon look like her handsome middle school son.” Well bish embrace that! Find you a Mama! Maybe your mama was wiling out when you were growing up and u need a woman to HECC around and spank u. Maybe eem spike you! 🏐 Maybe that’s what you been missing all your life. “smash you really Wilding today.” INDEEDY! Smash simply raising this hypothesis for ya consideration lmao BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 2: @tatertot_thecorgi_)

So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on th...