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Advice, Ass, and Bad: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that Counterpoint, my good man: Bragonsuck Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling twink with a lyre. I would have standards. dragons are SUPER horny counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True Polymorph to make things interesting you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post OP is right and they should say it Dragon Bf Giont Gnol Gobin Haiting Koboid Spite As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs. Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad encounter and fuck the dragon. I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to keep that chart for reference, so That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!! That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say?? You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting sauteed OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid Don't bring shrek into this OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him on his path 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never stopped talking or singing. That was his THING 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit he managed to survive in that movie CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE AGAIN advice-animal: How to Fuck your Dragon
Advice, Ass, and Bad: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny
 ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
 ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other
 creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign
 to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard
 whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that
 Counterpoint, my good man:
 Bragonsuck
 Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big
 Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and
 jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling
 twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
 dragons are SUPER horny
 counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've
 got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking
 cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with
 kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting
 There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so
 much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who
 hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in
 kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl
 I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon
 who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is
 not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the
 Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be
 looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True
 Polymorph to make things interesting
 you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength
 half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post
 OP is right and they should say it
 Dragon
 Bf
 Giont
 Gnol
 Gobin
 Haiting
 Koboid
 Spite
 As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck
 anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match
 dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs.
 Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go
 forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad
 encounter and
 fuck the dragon.
 I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to
 keep that chart for reference, so
 That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything
 and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!!
 That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that
 what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would
 yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those
 creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child
 If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have
 any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for
 a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say??
 You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting
 sauteed
 OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT
 GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS
 a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid
 Don't bring shrek into this
 OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE
 CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD
 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film
 was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him
 on his path
 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never
 stopped talking or singing. That was his THING
 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to
 question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him
 He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms
 with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to
 figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit
 he managed to survive in that movie
 CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD
 THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE
 AGAIN
advice-animal:

How to Fuck your Dragon

advice-animal: How to Fuck your Dragon

Life, Love, and Smell: rue-by-another-name the biggest lie i ever told & how my husband came to protect it for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive like peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?l" and then i'd have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut mΓ₯ms when im at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes and if that isn't love then i don't know what is <p>When your husband&rsquo;s got your back via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2FS8AOl">http://ift.tt/2FS8AOl</a></p>
Life, Love, and Smell: rue-by-another-name
 the biggest lie i ever told & how
 my husband came to protect it
 for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i
 hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but
 whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive
 like peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?l" and then i'd have to go
 into this whole thing to defend my taste buds
 but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to peanuts
 because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter it's now
 like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life
 and everyone feels sad for me
 but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat
 peanut mΓ₯ms when im at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is
 my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for
 someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously
 couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret
 and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and
 emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets
 and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i
 could see the pain in your eyes
 and if that isn't love then i don't know what is
<p>When your husband&rsquo;s got your back via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2FS8AOl">http://ift.tt/2FS8AOl</a></p>

<p>When your husband&rsquo;s got your back via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2FS8AOl">http://ift.tt/2FS8AOl</a></p>

Life, Love, and Smell: rue-by-another-name the biggest lie i ever told & how my husband came to protect it for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive like peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?l" and then i'd have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut mΓ₯ms when im at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes and if that isn't love then i don't know what is <p>When your husband&rsquo;s got your back</p>
Life, Love, and Smell: rue-by-another-name
 the biggest lie i ever told & how
 my husband came to protect it
 for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i
 hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but
 whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive
 like peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?l" and then i'd have to go
 into this whole thing to defend my taste buds
 but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to peanuts
 because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter it's now
 like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life
 and everyone feels sad for me
 but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat
 peanut mΓ₯ms when im at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is
 my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for
 someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously
 couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret
 and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and
 emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets
 and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i
 could see the pain in your eyes
 and if that isn't love then i don't know what is
<p>When your husband&rsquo;s got your back</p>

<p>When your husband&rsquo;s got your back</p>