Bless up


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

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    Anaconda, Bless Up, and Costco: Good old boy still has some wags left
I know people love to give puppies as presents on holidays bc they cute but keep in mind they cutely poop on the couch and pee down the heat - AC vent lol check out pet finder aka pet tinder and get your loved one a lovely doggo who can live out his or her last years with love. “But smash they’ll die and my kids will be sad! 😢” Well bish listen lol. That’s the thing. People were never sheltered from death. Their grandpa would die. Their dad would die. Their horse would die. Their mule would die. They pup would die. That was life 100+ years ago. Now we shelter all the bb’s from death and are they happier or more well adjusted? 🤔 FVCK NAH ... We’re less well adjusted than we ever been 😂. Don’t worry. Five or six year old doggie ain’t finna die tmrow plus he was already in a home before coming to the shelter so he or she usually house trained. Consider it, beloveds! “Smash my girlfriend Kelsey wants a pure bred newborn retriever she doesn’t want an adult doggie she’s doesn’t even like most dogs she’s very specific u wouldn’t understand sorry.” Aye I feel u bro! But Kelsey might be trash - I didn’t say she’s trash - she might be Mother Theresa - I said ‘might’!!! 🤷‍♂️😂. Just as there is tinder for pets called pet finder it’s also a tinder for humans called “regular a$$ tinder” - I never been on it bc I’m bold - stupid - reckless Enuf to ask girls out at whole food - traders joe - the gym - Costco - hotel lobby - intelligentsia coffee - the doctor’s office 🤦‍♂️😂 but it work - U might could find a comely lass with artful tattoos, hygienic nether regions and a love of old boyes - bam - dont Short yaself, YOLO Bless up 😍❤️😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Anaconda, Bless Up, and Costco: Good old boy still has some wags left
I know people love to give puppies as presents on holidays bc they cute but keep in mind they cutely poop on the couch and pee down the heat - AC vent lol check out pet finder aka pet tinder and get your loved one a lovely doggo who can live out his or her last years with love. “But smash they’ll die and my kids will be sad! 😢” Well bish listen lol. That’s the thing. People were never sheltered from death. Their grandpa would die. Their dad would die. Their horse would die. Their mule would die. They pup would die. That was life 100+ years ago. Now we shelter all the bb’s from death and are they happier or more well adjusted? 🤔 FVCK NAH ... We’re less well adjusted than we ever been 😂. Don’t worry. Five or six year old doggie ain’t finna die tmrow plus he was already in a home before coming to the shelter so he or she usually house trained. Consider it, beloveds! “Smash my girlfriend Kelsey wants a pure bred newborn retriever she doesn’t want an adult doggie she’s doesn’t even like most dogs she’s very specific u wouldn’t understand sorry.” Aye I feel u bro! But Kelsey might be trash - I didn’t say she’s trash - she might be Mother Theresa - I said ‘might’!!! 🤷‍♂️😂. Just as there is tinder for pets called pet finder it’s also a tinder for humans called “regular a$$ tinder” - I never been on it bc I’m bold - stupid - reckless Enuf to ask girls out at whole food - traders joe - the gym - Costco - hotel lobby - intelligentsia coffee - the doctor’s office 🤦‍♂️😂 but it work - U might could find a comely lass with artful tattoos, hygienic nether regions and a love of old boyes - bam - dont Short yaself, YOLO Bless up 😍❤️😂
                
                

                
            

            
            
I know people love to give puppies as presents on holidays bc they cute but keep in mind they cutely poop on the couch and pee down the heat...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Baby Daddy, Bae, and Bless Up: Fast hungry boy
 @DrSmashlove
Me, after catching a whiff of pizza 🤤😍 [Editor’s Note: been seeing a lot of people posting the meme where Little Caesar’s using DiJiorno pizza. Look. Lemme me clear as HECC. Lil Skeezers is bae. Lil Skeezer will always be bae. I’m loyal. That double pizza joint for a big a$$ Family where we had hella kids boy we had to eat! If a place give u two pizzas and the place next door give u only one (1) and u got mouths to feed whatchu gon do? Lil Skeezer could serve me a piece of WONDER white bread with ketchup squirted on it and a small sprinkle of mozzarella and I would bite into it and shed a single tear because that’s my childhood bro. I’m eating hand crafted real Italian pizza at Bonci in Chicago now (both West Side location AND bucktown location boy u catch me at either - eating a mozzarella di bufalla joint with a fizzy Italian lemonade on deck EARLY *Philly freeway voice* 😂. But regardless of what pizza heights I reach by the Grace of God imma always love Skeezers it’s like when u see a celebrity date another fancy celebrity but then go back to they baby mama or baby daddy THAT’S HOW WE BUILT, SOMETIME IT’S HARD TO MOVE ON BC IT FEEL LIKE HOME, THAT FAMILIARITY IS COMFORTING. I KNOW I TOOK THIS WAY TOO FAR BUT THERE U GO, BLESS UP 😍😂❤️]
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Baby Daddy, Bae, and Bless Up: Fast hungry boy
 @DrSmashlove
Me, after catching a whiff of pizza 🤤😍 [Editor’s Note: been seeing a lot of people posting the meme where Little Caesar’s using DiJiorno pizza. Look. Lemme me clear as HECC. Lil Skeezers is bae. Lil Skeezer will always be bae. I’m loyal. That double pizza joint for a big a$$ Family where we had hella kids boy we had to eat! If a place give u two pizzas and the place next door give u only one (1) and u got mouths to feed whatchu gon do? Lil Skeezer could serve me a piece of WONDER white bread with ketchup squirted on it and a small sprinkle of mozzarella and I would bite into it and shed a single tear because that’s my childhood bro. I’m eating hand crafted real Italian pizza at Bonci in Chicago now (both West Side location AND bucktown location boy u catch me at either - eating a mozzarella di bufalla joint with a fizzy Italian lemonade on deck EARLY *Philly freeway voice* 😂. But regardless of what pizza heights I reach by the Grace of God imma always love Skeezers it’s like when u see a celebrity date another fancy celebrity but then go back to they baby mama or baby daddy THAT’S HOW WE BUILT, SOMETIME IT’S HARD TO MOVE ON BC IT FEEL LIKE HOME, THAT FAMILIARITY IS COMFORTING. I KNOW I TOOK THIS WAY TOO FAR BUT THERE U GO, BLESS UP 😍😂❤️]
                
                

                
            

            
            
Me, after catching a whiff of pizza 🤤😍 [Editor’s Note: been seeing a lot of people posting the meme where Little Caesar’s using DiJiorno piz...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Be Like, Bless Up, and Chill: When you're a good boy on vacation and
 your owners let you up on the hotel bed
 @DrSmashlove
(Sound on 🔊) My reaction when I meet a girl at a bar and she take me back to her crib afterward and her room surprisingly actually tidy and the bed is made and there isn’t laundry everywhere 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂😂 “wowwwwww smash with the FOULNESS today FIRST of all SOME LADIES WORK. A JOB. WE LEAVE QUICKLY AND CANT MAKE THE BED. WE GOTTA APPLY MAKE UP. WE GOTTA DO HAIR. WE GOTTA LOOK PRESENTABLE. U AINT GOT THAT STRESS. HALF THE MEN I WORK WITH DONT EVEN BATHE IN THE AM WITCHOE PERSNICKETY DEMANDING A$$ IF 👏 U 👏 SO 👏 DEMANDING 👏 THEN 👏 MAKE 👏 MY 👏 BED 👏 THEN 👏 LAY 👏 IN 👏 IT 👏 D!CKFACE 👏. LOOKIN A$$ 😤.” Yep. Like I said baby. Make ya bed “IT TAKE ONLY THREE MINUTE” *my haunting mama’s voice* BLESS UP 😍😂😂 [Editor’s Note: shout to u ladies who be like “WELL. I really want you to come up 😌. But my place is a mess LOL!” Me: *shannon sharpe voice* “THAT AIN NO PRAHBLEM! That ain’t no problem 😊.” Girl: “LOL OKAYYYY NO JUDGING THO! Lolol!” Me: *judges vigorously in secret* 🤗😂. Second editor’s note: “wowwwww smash is a h0e and not only that a judgmental h0e where did this come from? He was fake woke?!! Guess he’s just another worthless man now.” Me: y’all really need to chill and let me off the leash occasionally all my sisters is brilliant and they all got careers and guess what, busy women ain’t trying to impress no cot damn man sometimes u gotta do a catch-up clean on the wknd LET ME TEASE YALL SOMETIMES I AM STILL AN ALLY LMAO SOMETIMES I JUST GOT JOKES ALSO THE h0e LABEL REALLY DO BE HURTING MY FEELINGS I PREFER ‘sensually exploratory by disposition’ (SEBD) THAT MAKE ME FEEL A LIL BETTER BLESS BLESS 👏 UP 👏😂😂😂]
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Be Like, Bless Up, and Chill: When you're a good boy on vacation and
 your owners let you up on the hotel bed
 @DrSmashlove
(Sound on 🔊) My reaction when I meet a girl at a bar and she take me back to her crib afterward and her room surprisingly actually tidy and the bed is made and there isn’t laundry everywhere 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂😂 “wowwwwww smash with the FOULNESS today FIRST of all SOME LADIES WORK. A JOB. WE LEAVE QUICKLY AND CANT MAKE THE BED. WE GOTTA APPLY MAKE UP. WE GOTTA DO HAIR. WE GOTTA LOOK PRESENTABLE. U AINT GOT THAT STRESS. HALF THE MEN I WORK WITH DONT EVEN BATHE IN THE AM WITCHOE PERSNICKETY DEMANDING A$$ IF 👏 U 👏 SO 👏 DEMANDING 👏 THEN 👏 MAKE 👏 MY 👏 BED 👏 THEN 👏 LAY 👏 IN 👏 IT 👏 D!CKFACE 👏. LOOKIN A$$ 😤.” Yep. Like I said baby. Make ya bed “IT TAKE ONLY THREE MINUTE” *my haunting mama’s voice* BLESS UP 😍😂😂 [Editor’s Note: shout to u ladies who be like “WELL. I really want you to come up 😌. But my place is a mess LOL!” Me: *shannon sharpe voice* “THAT AIN NO PRAHBLEM! That ain’t no problem 😊.” Girl: “LOL OKAYYYY NO JUDGING THO! Lolol!” Me: *judges vigorously in secret* 🤗😂. Second editor’s note: “wowwwww smash is a h0e and not only that a judgmental h0e where did this come from? He was fake woke?!! Guess he’s just another worthless man now.” Me: y’all really need to chill and let me off the leash occasionally all my sisters is brilliant and they all got careers and guess what, busy women ain’t trying to impress no cot damn man sometimes u gotta do a catch-up clean on the wknd LET ME TEASE YALL SOMETIMES I AM STILL AN ALLY LMAO SOMETIMES I JUST GOT JOKES ALSO THE h0e LABEL REALLY DO BE HURTING MY FEELINGS I PREFER ‘sensually exploratory by disposition’ (SEBD) THAT MAKE ME FEEL A LIL BETTER BLESS BLESS 👏 UP 👏😂😂😂]
                
                

                
            

            
            
(Sound on 🔊) My reaction when I meet a girl at a bar and she take me back to her crib afterward and her room surprisingly actually tidy and ...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Beard, Bless Up, and Bruh: Dog is so friendly and gentle to his tiny
 piggy
 @DrSmashlove
Say Bruh u know how Twitter users wil out and do Unpopular Opinions? 😂 I’m always jealous because I don’t have a twitter so I can’t twit. But today imma insta my unpopular opinion and y’all can respond. Imma even help y’all with ya responses 😂. Ok? Deal? Here go. Smash’s Friday Afternoon Argumentative Unpopular Opinion: if u eat pork but not dog meat u a hippocrip PROVE ME WRONG 😂❤️. Potential reply No. 1: “easy for u smash ol muslim lookin a$$ ol ramadan Mubarak lookin a$$ ol grow a beard to look righteous but we know u struggle with demons like the rest of us lookin a$$ ol fake woke lookin a$$ is u even a male lookin a$$ or is u a female English PhD catfishing us lookin a$$. Not een a minority lookin a$$. Probably pakistanian lookin a$$ I KNOW U PAKISTANI EEN THO U SAID U AINT LOOKIN A$$. STOP LYIN OSMAN. Lookin a$$. Anyway lookin a$$ that’s easy for u to say! U CANT eat pork! If u could, u would - same way u eat chicken! Arbitrarily line drawing lookin a$$ STOP IT. BEEN WANTING TO SAY ALL THIS TO YA LOOKIN A$$. U DA REAL HIPPOCRIP LOOKIN A$$ ‘bless up 😊’ HAPPY GO LUCKY ALWAYS SMILING LOOKIN A$$ WHAT U SO HAPPY ABOUT SMASH LOW KEY U GET ON MY NERVES BUT I LIKE DOGS SO I STAY FOLLOWING LOOKIN A$$. AND MY FRIENDS THINK U FUNNY BUT I KNOW U A FRAUD LOOKIN A$$ IF 👏 U 👏 LOVED 👏 DOGS 👏 SO 👏 MUCH 👏 U 👏 WOULD 👏 HAVE 👏 A 👏 DOG 👏 LOOKIN 👏 A$$ 👏. Wait do he got a dog? 🤔 PAKISTANIANS AIN GOT DOGS AND HE GOTTA BE PAKISTANIAN WITH HIS LOOKIN A$$ SO IMMA SAY NO - or he a woman? Women love dogs 🤔 aye either way if he was $exy he would post a pic he probably a mutant WITH HIS LOOKIN 👏 A$$ 👏. (How’d I do? Bless up 😂❤️😍)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Beard, Bless Up, and Bruh: Dog is so friendly and gentle to his tiny
 piggy
 @DrSmashlove
Say Bruh u know how Twitter users wil out and do Unpopular Opinions? 😂 I’m always jealous because I don’t have a twitter so I can’t twit. But today imma insta my unpopular opinion and y’all can respond. Imma even help y’all with ya responses 😂. Ok? Deal? Here go. Smash’s Friday Afternoon Argumentative Unpopular Opinion: if u eat pork but not dog meat u a hippocrip PROVE ME WRONG 😂❤️. Potential reply No. 1: “easy for u smash ol muslim lookin a$$ ol ramadan Mubarak lookin a$$ ol grow a beard to look righteous but we know u struggle with demons like the rest of us lookin a$$ ol fake woke lookin a$$ is u even a male lookin a$$ or is u a female English PhD catfishing us lookin a$$. Not een a minority lookin a$$. Probably pakistanian lookin a$$ I KNOW U PAKISTANI EEN THO U SAID U AINT LOOKIN A$$. STOP LYIN OSMAN. Lookin a$$. Anyway lookin a$$ that’s easy for u to say! U CANT eat pork! If u could, u would - same way u eat chicken! Arbitrarily line drawing lookin a$$ STOP IT. BEEN WANTING TO SAY ALL THIS TO YA LOOKIN A$$. U DA REAL HIPPOCRIP LOOKIN A$$ ‘bless up 😊’ HAPPY GO LUCKY ALWAYS SMILING LOOKIN A$$ WHAT U SO HAPPY ABOUT SMASH LOW KEY U GET ON MY NERVES BUT I LIKE DOGS SO I STAY FOLLOWING LOOKIN A$$. AND MY FRIENDS THINK U FUNNY BUT I KNOW U A FRAUD LOOKIN A$$ IF 👏 U 👏 LOVED 👏 DOGS 👏 SO 👏 MUCH 👏 U 👏 WOULD 👏 HAVE 👏 A 👏 DOG 👏 LOOKIN 👏 A$$ 👏. Wait do he got a dog? 🤔 PAKISTANIANS AIN GOT DOGS AND HE GOTTA BE PAKISTANIAN WITH HIS LOOKIN A$$ SO IMMA SAY NO - or he a woman? Women love dogs 🤔 aye either way if he was $exy he would post a pic he probably a mutant WITH HIS LOOKIN 👏 A$$ 👏. (How’d I do? Bless up 😂❤️😍)
                
                

                
            

            
            
Say Bruh u know how Twitter users wil out and do Unpopular Opinions? 😂 I’m always jealous because I don’t have a twitter so I can’t twit. Bu...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    America, Bless Up, and Bruh: My (almost 16) good boy is deaf. He
 didn't hear us come through the back and
 thinks we are still in the car.
 vid: reddit u/romansamurai
 Dromashlove
 0:00
 0:26
Bro. Tell me why every American hit show got a lead actor playing an American but in real life he British asf with a British accent. The Wire - Dominic West is a Brit. Walking Dead - Andrew Lincoln is a Brit...hol up...AND Lennie James is a Brit! Watch a interview bruv! Your head will explode! On walking dead u see Lennie playing Morgan Jones sounding American asf and then u see a interview and he wearing spectacles and a flannel shirt talmbout “Oi play the charactah Morgan Jewns in Wohkeeng Ded it’s really quat briyyant Cheerio!” Nah. Hell nah. I’m on to y’all. All u Brits with that lovely 1,000 year old accent who come to America and act better than Americans with American accents that sound more American than Americans I 👏 am 👏 on 👏 to 👏 y’all 👏. In fact I got a theory. To be honest bruh? I think y’all talk normal English and sound just like Americans when y’all hanging out in secret but when u in public u put on that cherrio lad accent YALL AINT FOOLING ME 😂. I think y’all put that accent on when the camera rolling and I don’t blame y’all. When y’all acting in American shows that’s when u talk in ya real accent I’m CONVINCED 😂. Like every kid born in England his mama like “Ello, James. Yo foive yeaz old now so eets time we told yew the truth: oi dewnt really towk like theese. In fact, James *American accent* I talk like this. Just like Americans. But we used to be the global colonial super power at once and what distinguished us is our refined English speech SEW NOW YEW GOT TO LEAHN BOTH. IN PROIVATE, YEW CAN TAWK NOH-MAL. IN PUBLIC YEW MUST SPEAK WITH THIS CHEERIO-BRIYYANT-VERY GOOD GUVANNAH TYPE AFFECTATION. OKAY JAMES? And James just like “wow we thought the Canadians were wild for doing the English-French joint but we literally speak English TWO TYPE OF WAYS? Yes James. Yes. But guess what? It’s finna allow u to colonize acting like ya forefathers colonized India LMAOOO. AND IT AIN’T EEN A RACE THING. OL BOY FROM “Get Out”? BRITISH ASF 😂. Watch a interview and see how he REALLY talk...SUPPOSABLY 😂. BLESS UP 🇬🇧😂❤️
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                America, Bless Up, and Bruh: My (almost 16) good boy is deaf. He
 didn't hear us come through the back and
 thinks we are still in the car.
 vid: reddit u/romansamurai
 Dromashlove
 0:00
 0:26
Bro. Tell me why every American hit show got a lead actor playing an American but in real life he British asf with a British accent. The Wire - Dominic West is a Brit. Walking Dead - Andrew Lincoln is a Brit...hol up...AND Lennie James is a Brit! Watch a interview bruv! Your head will explode! On walking dead u see Lennie playing Morgan Jones sounding American asf and then u see a interview and he wearing spectacles and a flannel shirt talmbout “Oi play the charactah Morgan Jewns in Wohkeeng Ded it’s really quat briyyant Cheerio!” Nah. Hell nah. I’m on to y’all. All u Brits with that lovely 1,000 year old accent who come to America and act better than Americans with American accents that sound more American than Americans I 👏 am 👏 on 👏 to 👏 y’all 👏. In fact I got a theory. To be honest bruh? I think y’all talk normal English and sound just like Americans when y’all hanging out in secret but when u in public u put on that cherrio lad accent YALL AINT FOOLING ME 😂. I think y’all put that accent on when the camera rolling and I don’t blame y’all. When y’all acting in American shows that’s when u talk in ya real accent I’m CONVINCED 😂. Like every kid born in England his mama like “Ello, James. Yo foive yeaz old now so eets time we told yew the truth: oi dewnt really towk like theese. In fact, James *American accent* I talk like this. Just like Americans. But we used to be the global colonial super power at once and what distinguished us is our refined English speech SEW NOW YEW GOT TO LEAHN BOTH. IN PROIVATE, YEW CAN TAWK NOH-MAL. IN PUBLIC YEW MUST SPEAK WITH THIS CHEERIO-BRIYYANT-VERY GOOD GUVANNAH TYPE AFFECTATION. OKAY JAMES? And James just like “wow we thought the Canadians were wild for doing the English-French joint but we literally speak English TWO TYPE OF WAYS? Yes James. Yes. But guess what? It’s finna allow u to colonize acting like ya forefathers colonized India LMAOOO. AND IT AIN’T EEN A RACE THING. OL BOY FROM “Get Out”? BRITISH ASF 😂. Watch a interview and see how he REALLY talk...SUPPOSABLY 😂. BLESS UP 🇬🇧😂❤️
                
                

                
            

            
            
Bro. Tell me why every American hit show got a lead actor playing an American but in real life he British asf with a British accent. The Wir...