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Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights Always willing to make a rain Laughs at medioore jokers . I play s different instrument . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po Very optimistic when hungover Friendship bracelets Can drive a stick shift I got bars Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc. * Downsides Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse Will spook the customers with I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them) .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil Contributions Inventor Sauce Boss . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car. For a spill and worry free drive home . Part the Red Sea .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo Moses Tampons Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair mon in a floor length jean skirt Coined the term *Escobars When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax .Not recommended Education Bradford Elementary School Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee Mullen High School 2008-2012 . Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012 . Dia though Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook of Northem Colorado 2012-201 Survived Greeley Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting School blew away in Hurricane Irma School cut major Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne ver know what's going on there They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time . Laboniously diverse in that bitch . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever y day - They pretty much can't fire me thered e Intenship in Haiti 2016 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever Spent about a year total in Hait I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono Harley Davidson-St. Thomas . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p eople I'm very impressive at folding shirts Reason(s) I Dipped: I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a d I felt really guilty about ito They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co sort of Local Color Clothing Boutique More folding, but the clothes were more expensive) Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work
Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights
 Always willing to make a rain
 Laughs at medioore jokers
 . I play s different instrument
 . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po
 Very optimistic when hungover
 Friendship bracelets
 Can drive a stick shift
 I got bars
 Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc.
 *
 Downsides
 Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse
 Will spook the customers with
 I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall
 Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them)
 .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy
 . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil
 Contributions
 Inventor
 Sauce Boss
 . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car.
 For a spill and worry free drive home
 . Part the Red Sea
 .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo
 Moses Tampons
 Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair
 mon in a floor length jean skirt
 Coined the term *Escobars
 When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax
 .Not recommended
 Education
 Bradford Elementary School
 Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee
 Mullen High School 2008-2012
 .
 Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012
 .

 Dia
 though
 Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook
 of Northem Colorado 2012-201
 Survived Greeley
 Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded
 University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017
 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting
 School blew away in Hurricane Irma
 School cut major
 Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From
 Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present
 I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne
 ver know what's going on there
 They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time
 . Laboniously diverse in that bitch
 . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever
 y day
 - They pretty much can't fire me thered
 e Intenship in Haiti 2016
 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to
 me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever
 Spent about a year total in Hait
 I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono
 Harley Davidson-St. Thomas
 . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p
 eople
 I'm very impressive at folding shirts
 Reason(s) I Dipped:
 I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas
 I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a
 d I felt really guilty about ito
 They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co
 sort of
 Local Color Clothing Boutique
 More folding, but the clothes were more expensive)
Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work

Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work

Bless Up, God, and Gym: This old guy walks his puppy past my house every evening My auntie is in her 70s. I was telling her about a couple personal records I had set at the gym recently. In her younger age she was athletic as hell - grew up poor and never picked up a tennis racquet until her 30s but when she did...anybody could get it...she put on that tennis skirt and her lil a$$ mobbed on em boy 😂. Anyway when I was done talking she told me: “beloved, when you’re young, you wake up and keep finding out new things that your body is able to do and accomplish. When you’re my age, every day you wake up and something is taken away from you.” She wasn’t even remotely bitter. She was just giving me the game straight up so as to ensure I don’t take my blessings for granted. Never take them blessings for granted, beloveds. Those are a gift. And if you’re suffering from any physical limitation or malady whatsoever, I ask God to bless you, protect you and ease it for you! And regardless, no physical limitation could ever limit your spirit and you need to remember that. Bless up 😍❤️ p.s. “Smash I’m an atheist you don’t need to pray for me 😊.” BIH. I AIN’T ATHEIST. GOD BEEN THERE FOR ME HELLA TIMES. SO IF MY PRAYER WORK AND U BLEW YA KNEE OUT AND YA KNEE START FEELING BETTER SOON, DON’T BE ACTING BRAND NEW WITCHOE SMARTY ARTY A$$ MAKING SMARTY ARTY ATHEIST ARGUMENTS. JUST LET ME BELIEVE IN MY ILLOGICAL LIL SPIRITUAL TING AND TAKE THE ILLOGICAL BLESSING, BLESS UP 😂❤️ (📹: reddit u-crotchetyhooker)
Bless Up, God, and Gym: This old guy walks his puppy past my
 house every evening
My auntie is in her 70s. I was telling her about a couple personal records I had set at the gym recently. In her younger age she was athletic as hell - grew up poor and never picked up a tennis racquet until her 30s but when she did...anybody could get it...she put on that tennis skirt and her lil a$$ mobbed on em boy 😂. Anyway when I was done talking she told me: “beloved, when you’re young, you wake up and keep finding out new things that your body is able to do and accomplish. When you’re my age, every day you wake up and something is taken away from you.” She wasn’t even remotely bitter. She was just giving me the game straight up so as to ensure I don’t take my blessings for granted. Never take them blessings for granted, beloveds. Those are a gift. And if you’re suffering from any physical limitation or malady whatsoever, I ask God to bless you, protect you and ease it for you! And regardless, no physical limitation could ever limit your spirit and you need to remember that. Bless up 😍❤️ p.s. “Smash I’m an atheist you don’t need to pray for me 😊.” BIH. I AIN’T ATHEIST. GOD BEEN THERE FOR ME HELLA TIMES. SO IF MY PRAYER WORK AND U BLEW YA KNEE OUT AND YA KNEE START FEELING BETTER SOON, DON’T BE ACTING BRAND NEW WITCHOE SMARTY ARTY A$$ MAKING SMARTY ARTY ATHEIST ARGUMENTS. JUST LET ME BELIEVE IN MY ILLOGICAL LIL SPIRITUAL TING AND TAKE THE ILLOGICAL BLESSING, BLESS UP 😂❤️ (📹: reddit u-crotchetyhooker)

My auntie is in her 70s. I was telling her about a couple personal records I had set at the gym recently. In her younger age she was athleti...

Clothes, God, and Isis: ISIS Bans Burqas In Security Centers After Burqa-Clad Women Massacre Several ISIS Leaders BY EDITORIAL STAFF PUBLISHED SEPTEMBER 7, 2016 UPDATED SEPTEMBER 7, 2016 <p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/172241423832/morguebat-thatmorguebat-kasaron" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://morguebat.tumblr.com/post/150370035818/thatmorguebat-kasaron-thatmorguebat" class="tumblr_blog">morguebat</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://thatmorguebat.tumblr.com/post/150369558818">thatmorguebat</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://kasaron.tumblr.com/post/150368188250">kasaron</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://thatmorguebat.tumblr.com/post/150367540138">thatmorguebat</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://focusdammit.tumblr.com/post/150363769933">focusdammit</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://imthefuckingempress.tumblr.com/post/150362694992">imthefuckingempress</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://texasgunnersmate.tumblr.com/post/150336950710">texasgunnersmate</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://nyc-conservative.tumblr.com/post/150336228112">nyc-conservative</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://celestiallove-us.tumblr.com/post/150335509174">celestiallove-us</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://unrepentantwarriorpriest.tumblr.com/post/150170563965">unrepentantwarriorpriest</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Even ISIS knows what a security threat the burqa is.</p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mFb-dQC55YsvJwFbRycT-6w">@daslecky</a></p> </blockquote> <p>Omg</p> </blockquote> <p>Hahaha</p> </blockquote> <p>Lols</p> </blockquote> <p>Badass women.</p> </blockquote> <p>Aye this was a result of an SAS op in Raqqa where  a few of the SAS lads disguised themselves in burqas, infiltrated a meeting and blew some fairly high-ups in the ISIS chain of command away.</p> <p>Crossdressing, the secret weapon super effective against ISIS, well done SAS :P<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Oh my god, please source Crossdressing SAS kicking shit.</p> <p>To quote Eddie Izzard, “Because we all know one of the main factors of war is the element of surprise. And what could be more surprising than the First Batallion Transvestite Brigade? Airborne Wing.” </p> </blockquote> <p>Sure lemme see if I can find it again mate, I’ll throw it to you through a message if i find it.<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Adding a couple sources for operation “Frock and Awe”<br/><br/><a href="http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/635517/Islamic-State-ISIS-SAS-burkas-raid-headquarters-Syria-Raqqa-jihadi-leader">http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/635517/Islamic-State-ISIS-SAS-burkas-raid-headquarters-Syria-Raqqa-jihadi-leader</a><br/><br/><a href="http://usherald.com/4am-8-women-in-burkas-cornered-by-isis-soldiers-then-they-lifted-their-burkas-and-justice-was-served/#">http://usherald.com/4am-8-women-in-burkas-cornered-by-isis-soldiers-then-they-lifted-their-burkas-and-justice-was-served/#</a><br/></p> <p>Enjoy!<br/></p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1041" data-orig-width="1440"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/4a9eb3b37a1cc9d155e435c70402c114/tumblr_inline_p65ngsWZ1I1sp5650_500.png" data-orig-height="1041" data-orig-width="1440"/></figure><h1><b>Not all heroes wear capes, sometimes they wear women’s clothes.</b></h1></blockquote> <p>This is actually amazing</p>
Clothes, God, and Isis: ISIS Bans Burqas In
 Security Centers After
 Burqa-Clad Women
 Massacre Several ISIS
 Leaders
 BY EDITORIAL STAFF PUBLISHED SEPTEMBER 7,
 2016 UPDATED SEPTEMBER 7, 2016
<p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/172241423832/morguebat-thatmorguebat-kasaron" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://morguebat.tumblr.com/post/150370035818/thatmorguebat-kasaron-thatmorguebat" class="tumblr_blog">morguebat</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://thatmorguebat.tumblr.com/post/150369558818">thatmorguebat</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://kasaron.tumblr.com/post/150368188250">kasaron</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://thatmorguebat.tumblr.com/post/150367540138">thatmorguebat</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://focusdammit.tumblr.com/post/150363769933">focusdammit</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://imthefuckingempress.tumblr.com/post/150362694992">imthefuckingempress</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://texasgunnersmate.tumblr.com/post/150336950710">texasgunnersmate</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://nyc-conservative.tumblr.com/post/150336228112">nyc-conservative</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://celestiallove-us.tumblr.com/post/150335509174">celestiallove-us</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://unrepentantwarriorpriest.tumblr.com/post/150170563965">unrepentantwarriorpriest</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Even ISIS knows what a security threat the burqa is.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mFb-dQC55YsvJwFbRycT-6w">@daslecky</a></p>
</blockquote>
<p>Omg</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Hahaha</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Lols</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Badass women.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Aye this was a result of an SAS op in Raqqa where  a few of the SAS lads disguised themselves in burqas, infiltrated a meeting and blew some fairly high-ups in the ISIS chain of command away.</p>
<p>Crossdressing, the secret weapon super effective against ISIS, well done SAS :P<br/></p>
</blockquote>
<p>Oh my god, please source Crossdressing SAS kicking shit.</p>
<p>To quote Eddie Izzard, “Because we all know one of the main factors of war is the element of surprise. And what could be more surprising than the First Batallion Transvestite Brigade? Airborne Wing.” 

</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Sure lemme see if I can find it again mate, I’ll throw it to you through a message if i find it.<br/></p>
</blockquote>

<p>Adding a couple sources for operation “Frock and Awe”<br/><br/><a href="http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/635517/Islamic-State-ISIS-SAS-burkas-raid-headquarters-Syria-Raqqa-jihadi-leader">http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/635517/Islamic-State-ISIS-SAS-burkas-raid-headquarters-Syria-Raqqa-jihadi-leader</a><br/><br/><a href="http://usherald.com/4am-8-women-in-burkas-cornered-by-isis-soldiers-then-they-lifted-their-burkas-and-justice-was-served/#">http://usherald.com/4am-8-women-in-burkas-cornered-by-isis-soldiers-then-they-lifted-their-burkas-and-justice-was-served/#</a><br/></p>
<p>Enjoy!<br/></p>
</blockquote>

<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1041" data-orig-width="1440"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/4a9eb3b37a1cc9d155e435c70402c114/tumblr_inline_p65ngsWZ1I1sp5650_500.png" data-orig-height="1041" data-orig-width="1440"/></figure><h1><b>Not all heroes wear capes, sometimes they wear women’s clothes.</b></h1></blockquote>

<p>This is actually amazing</p>

<p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/172241423832/morguebat-thatmorguebat-kasaron" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p> <bloc...