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Being Alone, Amazon, and Gif: Laura I'd like to take you up on getting coffee, by the way Mon, Jul 24, 2017, 12.00 AM Ahh I'm sorry for leaving you hanging. I might've dismissed the notification or something half asleep... But coffee would be great Stil being unemployed means Fhave free time in excess and a super flexible So just let me know when might work best for you Thu, Jul 27, 2017, 12-32 AM Wed, Aug 2,2017, 32 PM Hey Laura I know it can take forever agonizing over the perfect response, but the coffee is starting to get cold I've taken the liberty of preparing a few response choices for you, to help speed things along. Choose any letter choice you'd like to send A: I'm free to grab coffee this week i'li send you my number so we can coordinate a meet up B This week is kinda busy for me, but next week for surel I'i give you my number so we could coordinate a meet- C: I would like to grab coffee eventually but rm not quite sure when. 'll give you my number so we can figure out the when on a better platform D: Sorryi don't think I'm up for coffee anymore... you're just too intimidatingly attractive and intelligent for me. I'u still give you my number though, maybe we could meet up some time soon: Fri Aug 11, 2017, 324 AM Atter popular demand, we've decided to add a bonus answer choice, See the amendment in its entirety below E: I'd like more time to choose among options A-D, please bear with mel Sat, Aug 12, 2017, 12:26 AM While you decide among choices A-E I've written a limerick to pass the time There once was a match who's named Laura Who jammed to Chopin on Pandora, When she said she'd meet Drew For a hot Java brew She first had to grow coffee fora. Thu, Aug 24, 2017, 1:08 PM Limerícks are boring, lambic pentameter or bust Beneath the churning froth of pick-up ines, The sexting, whirling cesspool of regret, An empty cave extends like twisting mines The ghosts of voices echo in duet A conversation stalled for thirty days Still sometimes he'd return if memry served He'd rack his mind for further clever ways, To keep the chat that time forgot preserved, But life moves fast indeed for life in prime, From seeds to sprouts to trees to leaves wind-blown And so, our Laura ever lost to time And Drew forever in Starbucks alone 32017, all rights reserved Tue, Aug 29, 2017, 4:46 PM Ok I've contacted Amazon about publishing the book I wrote about this conversation, they said it could be online in three weeks ifi could slim it down 800 pages or so, I'll keep you posted through the editing process Mon, Sep 25, 2017,10:01 PM The book is finally supposed to be online tomorrow, and this bit of breaking news just published online thought you might want to see: Wed, Now 8.2017. 1137 PM We have a problem Laura the Weinsteirn Company was our sole investor the movie's in shambles now and there's no going back Today 8:15 PM Oh my god Oh my god GIF Not really sure who was more surprised here
Being Alone, Amazon, and Gif: Laura
 I'd like to take you up on getting
 coffee, by the way
 Mon, Jul 24, 2017, 12.00 AM
 Ahh I'm sorry for leaving you hanging.
 I might've dismissed the notification
 or something half asleep... But coffee
 would be great
 Stil being unemployed means Fhave
 free time in excess and a super flexible
 So just let me know when might work
 best for you
 Thu, Jul 27, 2017, 12-32 AM
 Wed, Aug 2,2017,
 32 PM
 Hey Laura I know it can take forever
 agonizing over the perfect response,
 but the coffee is starting to get cold
 I've taken the liberty of preparing a
 few response choices for you, to help
 speed things along. Choose any letter
 choice you'd like to send
 A: I'm free to grab coffee this week
 i'li send you my number so we can
 coordinate a meet up
 B This week is kinda busy for me, but
 next week for surel I'i give you my
 number so we could coordinate a meet-
 C: I would like to grab coffee eventually
 but rm not quite sure when. 'll give you
 my number so we can figure out the
 when on a better platform
 D: Sorryi don't think I'm up for coffee
 anymore... you're just too intimidatingly
 attractive and intelligent for me. I'u still
 give you my number though, maybe we
 could meet up some time soon:
 Fri Aug 11, 2017, 324 AM
 Atter popular demand, we've decided
 to add a bonus answer choice, See the
 amendment in its entirety below
 E: I'd like more time to choose among
 options A-D, please bear with mel
 Sat, Aug 12, 2017, 12:26 AM
 While you decide among choices A-E
 I've written a limerick to pass the time
 There once was a match who's named
 Laura
 Who jammed to Chopin on Pandora,
 When she said she'd meet Drew
 For a hot Java brew
 She first had to grow coffee fora.
 Thu, Aug 24, 2017, 1:08 PM
 Limerícks are boring, lambic
 pentameter or bust
 Beneath the churning froth of pick-up
 ines,
 The sexting, whirling cesspool of regret,
 An empty cave extends like twisting
 mines
 The ghosts of voices echo in duet
 A conversation stalled for thirty days
 Still sometimes he'd return if memry
 served
 He'd rack his mind for further clever
 ways,
 To keep the chat that time forgot
 preserved,
 But life moves fast indeed for life in
 prime,
 From seeds to sprouts to trees to
 leaves wind-blown
 And so, our Laura ever lost to time
 And Drew forever in Starbucks alone
 32017, all rights reserved
 Tue, Aug 29, 2017, 4:46 PM
 Ok I've contacted Amazon about
 publishing the book I wrote about this
 conversation, they said it could be
 online in three weeks ifi could slim it
 down 800 pages or so, I'll keep you
 posted through the editing process
 Mon, Sep 25, 2017,10:01 PM
 The book is finally supposed to
 be online tomorrow, and this bit of
 breaking news just published online
 thought you might want to see:
 Wed, Now 8.2017. 1137 PM
 We have a problem Laura the Weinsteirn
 Company was our sole investor the
 movie's in shambles now and there's no
 going back
 Today 8:15 PM
 Oh my god
 Oh my god
 GIF
Not really sure who was more surprised here

Not really sure who was more surprised here

Birthday, Comfortable, and Dicks: Excuse generator Use your birthday to generate an excuse January February March April May June 16 I don't give a shit 17 I was drunk I'm sorry I'm soooo sorry Honestly... You know what? 1 I didn't feel like it 2 forgot 3 I rewatched GBBO 18 It was far too boring 19 I just found out l'm a ghost instead 4 I watched porn instead 20 My dong was too itchy 5 I do what I want Hey, fuck you buddy Don't look at me like that It won't happen again, but 21 I spent the night learning to 6 *points at crotch* 7 I have diarrhoea riverdance 22 It's none of your concern! ul 8 My fucking dog ate it 23 Your expectations are too high 9 Homework is for dicks 24 You're not the boss of me 10 It's none of your August Look me in the eye September You know why, Bob?! October For the last time November think you know December You wanna know why 25 I am filled with existential angst 26 I'm too cool for this shit. business. 11 I've been thinking a lot 27 My STls are acting up 28 My bed is too comfortable 29 Why don't you ask your mum about Brexit I didn't do your stupid 12 Yolo. Yolo 13 I'm not a dork 14 Shut up, that's why. 15 l have a life why I didn't do it? SM.S 30 It would have been shit anyway. 31 I didn't feel like doing something STUDENT MONEY SAVER dumb today queenof-theclouds14: late-to-everything: fatmomsgetfit: I think “Hey, fuck you, buddy. I spent the night learning to riverdance,” is going to be my go-to excuse for everything, now. –AW Hey, fuck you buddy. Shut up, that’s why. I am not this hostile what is this sorcery  You know what? I don’t give a shit You know what? I watched porn instead. is the most accurate fucking thing Ive ever gotten out of these things
Birthday, Comfortable, and Dicks: Excuse generator
 Use your birthday to generate an excuse
 January
 February
 March
 April
 May
 June
 16 I don't give a shit
 17 I was drunk
 I'm sorry
 I'm soooo sorry
 Honestly...
 You know what?
 1 I didn't feel like it
 2 forgot
 3 I rewatched GBBO
 18 It was far too boring
 19 I just found out l'm a ghost
 instead
 4 I watched porn instead 20 My dong was too itchy
 5 I do what I want
 Hey, fuck you buddy
 Don't look at me like
 that
 It won't happen again,
 but
 21 I spent the night learning to
 6 *points at crotch*
 7 I have diarrhoea
 riverdance
 22 It's none of your concern!
 ul
 8 My fucking dog ate it 23 Your expectations are too high
 9 Homework is for dicks 24 You're not the boss of me
 10 It's none of your
 August Look me in the eye
 September You know why, Bob?!
 October For the last time
 November think you know
 December You wanna know why
 25 I am filled with existential angst
 26 I'm too cool for this shit.
 business.
 11 I've been thinking a lot 27 My STls are acting up
 28 My bed is too comfortable
 29 Why don't you ask your mum
 about Brexit
 I didn't do your stupid
 12 Yolo. Yolo
 13 I'm not a dork
 14 Shut up, that's why.
 15 l have a life
 why I didn't do it?
 SM.S
 30 It would have been shit anyway.
 31 I didn't feel like doing something
 STUDENT MONEY SAVER
 dumb today
queenof-theclouds14:

late-to-everything:
fatmomsgetfit:
I think “Hey, fuck you, buddy. I spent the night learning to riverdance,” is going to be my go-to excuse for everything, now. –AW
Hey, fuck you buddy. Shut up, that’s why.
I am not this hostile what is this sorcery 

You know what? I don’t give a shit

You know what? I watched porn instead. is the most accurate fucking thing Ive ever gotten out of these things

queenof-theclouds14: late-to-everything: fatmomsgetfit: I think “Hey, fuck you, buddy. I spent the night learning to riverdance,” is going ...