broccoli


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

        đŸ”„ | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            







    broccoli: babyanimalgifs:

BROCCOLI HAS CAUSED SYSTEM FAILURE
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: babyanimalgifs:

BROCCOLI HAS CAUSED SYSTEM FAILURE
                
                

                
            

            
            
babyanimalgifs:

BROCCOLI HAS CAUSED SYSTEM FAILURE

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: BROCCOLI HAS CAUSED SYSTEM FAILURE
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: BROCCOLI HAS CAUSED SYSTEM FAILURE
                
                

                
            

            
            
BROCCOLI HAS CAUSED SYSTEM FAILURE

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: I went to Cheesecake Factory for Mother’s Day, ordered a side of broccoli and got this sexy big boy.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: I went to Cheesecake Factory for Mother’s Day, ordered a side of broccoli and got this sexy big boy.
                
            

            
            
I went to Cheesecake Factory for Mother’s Day, ordered a side of broccoli and got this sexy big boy.

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: I went to Cheesecake Factory for Mother’s Day, ordered a side of broccoli and got this sexy big boy.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: I went to Cheesecake Factory for Mother’s Day, ordered a side of broccoli and got this sexy big boy.
                
            

            
            
I went to Cheesecake Factory for Mother’s Day, ordered a side of broccoli and got this sexy big boy.

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: Poor broccoli by ThunderingSacks
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: Poor broccoli by ThunderingSacks
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Poor broccoli by ThunderingSacks
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: The world isn’t SO desperate that we need to start eating broccoli & kale “pizza crust”
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: The world isn’t SO desperate that we need to start eating broccoli & kale “pizza crust”
                
            

            
            
The world isn’t SO desperate that we need to start eating broccoli & kale “pizza crust”

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: The world isn’t SO desperate that we need to start eating broccoli & kale “pizza crust”
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: The world isn’t SO desperate that we need to start eating broccoli & kale “pizza crust”
                
            

            
            
The world isn’t SO desperate that we need to start eating broccoli & kale “pizza crust”

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: prismatic-bell:

kari-izumi:

dancinbutterfly:

edenfenixblogs:
the-omniscient-narrator:


spacevinci:

somethingratchet:


sheisraging:


Cindy: Hey
 can I be a Jew?
Rabbi: No.
Cindy: Can I be a Jew?
Rabbi: No.
Cindy: Can I be a Jew?
Rabbi: You really want this? Sincerely? Not ‘cause this one’s trying to blackmail me for something stupid when I was 19 or for broccoli with your dinner? What is this for you?
Cindy: Honestly, I think I found my people. I was raised in a church where I was told to believe and pray. And if I was bad, I’d go to hell. And if I was good, I’d go to heaven. And if I’d ask Jesus, he’d forgive me and that was that. And here y’all are sayin’ ain’t no hell. Ain’t sure about heaven. And if you do something wrong, you got to figure it out yourself. And as far as God’s concerned, it’s your job to keep asking questions and to keep learning and to keep arguing. It’s like a verb. It’s like 
 you do God. And that’s a lot of work, but I think I’m in, as least as far as I can see it. I mean, maybe I’ll learn more and say fuck the whole thing, I mean, but I wanna learn more, and I think I gotta be in it to do that. You know
 Does that make sense? Shit, did I just talk myself out of it?
Rabbi: Ask me again.
Cindy: Can I be a Jew?
Rabbi: Yes.


I cried so hard during this scene.


First of all, this is beautiful.
Second of all, as a contextual note, the rabbi said no for a reason. In Jewish conversion, one of the steps is that you must be discouraged at least three times. This comes from the story of Ruth, where Naomi told her not to follow her back to the Jewish tribe three times before giving in.
Third of all, this is beautiful.


Adrienne KILLED it in those scenes. I wept with her!
“It’s like a verb.” She wants to work on her faith continuously and that was gorgeous and so honest.


THIS WAS SO IMPORTANT DO U UNDERSTAND. We aren’t a people who actively convert people. You’ll never see a Jewish person try to convert you. We believe in everyone’s right to believe what they want. But it was so nice to see someone who wasn’t raised in it be able to see value in my faith. I have never seen anything like that on tv before  

Not only that?? Its one of the only times I’ve ever seen Judaism The Faith and Religion ever actually articulated on screen. What do we believe? We believe that You Choose To Do God. Thats why we’re the Chosen People - because we Chose to Opt In To Doing God this particular way. I have never in my life before seen any form of media EVER express what Jews ACTUALLY BELIEVE ABOUT THE UNIVERSE out loud but OITNB did. And when people ask me? I always throw them here. Because it’s dead on. You do God (Jewishly) and you have to choose it. That’s what we believe. That’s it. Thats the entire thing. And this is the only time we have EVER had ANY representation and I will cherish it always. And for those of you who didn’t see the show? She got to bathe in a mikvah equivalent and convert fully so yes, Cindy is as Jewish as the whitest Ashkenazi Jew. More, because according to the sages, the convert is to be praised for their choice and their dedication. And as such, any children she has will be Jewish too. <3 Love for Cindy. Love to any religious Jews out there who feel unseen in media (you’re right, we aren’t seen). Love for any converts out there who don’t feel Jewish enough (you are - no matter what branch you converted in). Extra love for all my Jews of Color (no addendum - just love to you all period). Stay strong out there yall. Write yourselves into some stories and talk about our faith okay? We deserve to be seen and known, even if we aren’t converting. Demystification is part of the fight against antisemitism. 


All of this, but ALSOit’s so rare to see black people get to be any other religion of Baptist Christian. Or to even talk about that not all of us believe in God in the way we’re been taught. Most of what I’ve learned about Judaism I learned through the Jewish bloggers I’ve found here like @prismatic-bell @realsadjewishhours and @wetwareproblem among others, but even as an agnostic black woman, I was just as happy to see Cindy find her own way, and even happier to hear that they actually did right with the conversion process this time.


And @dancinbutterfly’s last line is why, when my rabbi said I should go to rabbinic school, I said
..no.Rabbi means teacher, and there are a ton of good Jewish teachers of Jews out there. But there aren’t so many Jewish teachers of gentiles. It’s why I work at cons under the name Oy Vay Productions. I am like you, except where I’m not, and where I’m not should not have to be frightening or mysterious to you. And then, when someone is all “well the Jews are a bunch of wealthy lizards,” you can remember me, think of me teaching you not just about anime but about the fact that Jews are just people out here doing how we do, and instead of “that seems possibly incorrect but I don’t know enough about Jews to dispute it,” you can say “that is not true, I have met and been befriended by a Jew, shared a meal and a class talked, and I know better.”I do my teaching by being a loud and proud Jew who is out here doing G-d an living my life. There are plenty of rabbis with skills I could only dream of having. But what I do is just as important to protecting and preserving Am Yisrael.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: prismatic-bell:

kari-izumi:

dancinbutterfly:

edenfenixblogs:
the-omniscient-narrator:


spacevinci:

somethingratchet:


sheisraging:


Cindy: Hey
 can I be a Jew?
Rabbi: No.
Cindy: Can I be a Jew?
Rabbi: No.
Cindy: Can I be a Jew?
Rabbi: You really want this? Sincerely? Not ‘cause this one’s trying to blackmail me for something stupid when I was 19 or for broccoli with your dinner? What is this for you?
Cindy: Honestly, I think I found my people. I was raised in a church where I was told to believe and pray. And if I was bad, I’d go to hell. And if I was good, I’d go to heaven. And if I’d ask Jesus, he’d forgive me and that was that. And here y’all are sayin’ ain’t no hell. Ain’t sure about heaven. And if you do something wrong, you got to figure it out yourself. And as far as God’s concerned, it’s your job to keep asking questions and to keep learning and to keep arguing. It’s like a verb. It’s like 
 you do God. And that’s a lot of work, but I think I’m in, as least as far as I can see it. I mean, maybe I’ll learn more and say fuck the whole thing, I mean, but I wanna learn more, and I think I gotta be in it to do that. You know
 Does that make sense? Shit, did I just talk myself out of it?
Rabbi: Ask me again.
Cindy: Can I be a Jew?
Rabbi: Yes.


I cried so hard during this scene.


First of all, this is beautiful.
Second of all, as a contextual note, the rabbi said no for a reason. In Jewish conversion, one of the steps is that you must be discouraged at least three times. This comes from the story of Ruth, where Naomi told her not to follow her back to the Jewish tribe three times before giving in.
Third of all, this is beautiful.


Adrienne KILLED it in those scenes. I wept with her!
“It’s like a verb.” She wants to work on her faith continuously and that was gorgeous and so honest.


THIS WAS SO IMPORTANT DO U UNDERSTAND. We aren’t a people who actively convert people. You’ll never see a Jewish person try to convert you. We believe in everyone’s right to believe what they want. But it was so nice to see someone who wasn’t raised in it be able to see value in my faith. I have never seen anything like that on tv before  

Not only that?? Its one of the only times I’ve ever seen Judaism The Faith and Religion ever actually articulated on screen. What do we believe? We believe that You Choose To Do God. Thats why we’re the Chosen People - because we Chose to Opt In To Doing God this particular way. I have never in my life before seen any form of media EVER express what Jews ACTUALLY BELIEVE ABOUT THE UNIVERSE out loud but OITNB did. And when people ask me? I always throw them here. Because it’s dead on. You do God (Jewishly) and you have to choose it. That’s what we believe. That’s it. Thats the entire thing. And this is the only time we have EVER had ANY representation and I will cherish it always. And for those of you who didn’t see the show? She got to bathe in a mikvah equivalent and convert fully so yes, Cindy is as Jewish as the whitest Ashkenazi Jew. More, because according to the sages, the convert is to be praised for their choice and their dedication. And as such, any children she has will be Jewish too. <3 Love for Cindy. Love to any religious Jews out there who feel unseen in media (you’re right, we aren’t seen). Love for any converts out there who don’t feel Jewish enough (you are - no matter what branch you converted in). Extra love for all my Jews of Color (no addendum - just love to you all period). Stay strong out there yall. Write yourselves into some stories and talk about our faith okay? We deserve to be seen and known, even if we aren’t converting. Demystification is part of the fight against antisemitism. 


All of this, but ALSOit’s so rare to see black people get to be any other religion of Baptist Christian. Or to even talk about that not all of us believe in God in the way we’re been taught. Most of what I’ve learned about Judaism I learned through the Jewish bloggers I’ve found here like @prismatic-bell @realsadjewishhours and @wetwareproblem among others, but even as an agnostic black woman, I was just as happy to see Cindy find her own way, and even happier to hear that they actually did right with the conversion process this time.


And @dancinbutterfly’s last line is why, when my rabbi said I should go to rabbinic school, I said
..no.Rabbi means teacher, and there are a ton of good Jewish teachers of Jews out there. But there aren’t so many Jewish teachers of gentiles. It’s why I work at cons under the name Oy Vay Productions. I am like you, except where I’m not, and where I’m not should not have to be frightening or mysterious to you. And then, when someone is all “well the Jews are a bunch of wealthy lizards,” you can remember me, think of me teaching you not just about anime but about the fact that Jews are just people out here doing how we do, and instead of “that seems possibly incorrect but I don’t know enough about Jews to dispute it,” you can say “that is not true, I have met and been befriended by a Jew, shared a meal and a class talked, and I know better.”I do my teaching by being a loud and proud Jew who is out here doing G-d an living my life. There are plenty of rabbis with skills I could only dream of having. But what I do is just as important to protecting and preserving Am Yisrael.
                
            

            
            
prismatic-bell:

kari-izumi:

dancinbutterfly:

edenfenixblogs:
the-omniscient-narrator:


spacevinci:

somethingratchet:


sheisraging:...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: thriftstorebootyshorts:*orders you a bowl of cheesy broccoli soup and winks at you from across this Panera Bread* 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: thriftstorebootyshorts:*orders you a bowl of cheesy broccoli soup and winks at you from across this Panera Bread* 
                
            

            
            
thriftstorebootyshorts:*orders you a bowl of cheesy broccoli soup and winks at you from across this Panera Bread* 

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: bscully:

thriftstorebootyshorts:*orders you a bowl of cheesy broccoli soup and winks at you from across this Panera Bread* 



Explains why i am the only person that eats Broccoli in my family 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: bscully:

thriftstorebootyshorts:*orders you a bowl of cheesy broccoli soup and winks at you from across this Panera Bread* 



Explains why i am the only person that eats Broccoli in my family 
                
            

            
            
bscully:

thriftstorebootyshorts:*orders you a bowl of cheesy broccoli soup and winks at you from across this Panera Bread* 



Explains...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: My mom trying to get me to try broccoli for the first time.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: My mom trying to get me to try broccoli for the first time.
                
            

            
            
My mom trying to get me to try broccoli for the first time.

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: SO
 GOOD

 mca
 GFOP
 CANNIBAUM
 ! !
mycatacademia:

soooosomething really silly! Deku eating broccoli 
 outrageous click for better quality!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: SO
 GOOD

 mca
 GFOP
 CANNIBAUM
 ! !
mycatacademia:

soooosomething really silly! Deku eating broccoli 
 outrageous click for better quality!
                
            

            
            
mycatacademia:

soooosomething really silly! Deku eating broccoli 
 outrageous click for better quality!

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: There was a bird in the broccoli at the grocery store today.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: There was a bird in the broccoli at the grocery store today.
                
            

            
            
There was a bird in the broccoli at the grocery store today.

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: RAI
jumpingjacktrash:
fuckingfreezerpops:
A THIEF!
this goblin stole broccoli!

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: RAI
jumpingjacktrash:
fuckingfreezerpops:
A THIEF!
this goblin stole broccoli!

                
            

            
            
jumpingjacktrash:
fuckingfreezerpops:
A THIEF!
this goblin stole broccoli!


            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: 42,121
 shouldnt.you-be.in.the-kitchen
 thatawkwardasian
 chimmychangaroo
 some kid at school today forgot the word pepperoni so he called them
 meat sprinkles
 Source: chimmychangaroo
 shouldnt-you be.in-the-kitchen
 thatawkwardasian
 6,341
 g-wretch
 I just remembered that one time I was high and referred to Hamlet as "The
 Fresh Prince of Denmark
 Source: g-wretch
 danglingthpider yayimontheinternet
 203,319
 dickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick:
 mrcraabs
 imagine if you could screenshot real life
 camera
 that thing you're talking about is a camera
 Source: mrcraabs
 wherehavemysocksgone
 comesingoodtime
 37,984
 mychemicalromanceboner
 Last night I forgot what milk was called so I called it
 Cereal water
 CEREAL WATER
 Source: iwasateenagewho
 captainrat twigtea
 113,464
 chuckle-voodoos
 aranyeha
 there should be feelings hookers
 like you hire one to come to your house and they sit there for an hour
 and listen to you cry about your life then afterwards you pay them 100
 bucks and you never see each other again how perfect would that be
 that's a therapist
 that's the thing you just described
 Source: rosekan
 steampoweredmusic
 youjustblinkedandaweepingangel
 13,417
 belle-ofthe-boulevard
 today i forgot the name for cauliflower so i called it albino broccoli
 Source: belle-ofthe-boulev
 hulksmashmouth
 101,851
 21st-century-son-ofa-bitch
 iphysianthe
 my mom's argument against piracy is "well what if you wrote a book and
 one person bought it and then hundreds of people got to read it for free
 and you didn't make any money!"
 MOTHER YOU HAVE JUST DESCRIBED
 LIBRARIES
 Source: fillette-revolutionn
 #queue wouldn't like me when I'm angry
 123,219
 Llike.your.booty
 iwasso-alone-iowe.you.so-much
 beellette:
 dad just said "there should be a netflix for books"
 five minutes later he shouted "THE LIBRARY
 Source: ghoulium
 caraknightley slett
 3,159
 tupacabra
 rabioheab:
 imagine if worms had legs
 centipedes
 Source: rabioheab
 -moriarty
 joeshmo
 shavingryansprivates:
 romeo romeo
 where the fuck is you, romeo
 Fuck you, the original line in Romeo and Juliet is "Wherefore art thou"
 And maybe if you stopped being an assumption-making bag of fucking
 asshole, you'd know that wherefore does NOT FUCKING MEAN
 "WHERE", WHEREFORE MEANS "WHY
 SHE'S ASKING WHY HIS NAME IS ROMEO. FUCK ALL OF YOU
 FUCK ALL OF YOU HARD UP THE TOENAIL. I TAKE MY
 SHAKESPEARE SERIOUSLY AS TITS.
 romeo romeo
 why the fuck is you romeo
 More like this at FUNSubstance.com
About the library piracy thing: Libraries pay the author to stock the books, just like bookstores.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: 42,121
 shouldnt.you-be.in.the-kitchen
 thatawkwardasian
 chimmychangaroo
 some kid at school today forgot the word pepperoni so he called them
 meat sprinkles
 Source: chimmychangaroo
 shouldnt-you be.in-the-kitchen
 thatawkwardasian
 6,341
 g-wretch
 I just remembered that one time I was high and referred to Hamlet as "The
 Fresh Prince of Denmark
 Source: g-wretch
 danglingthpider yayimontheinternet
 203,319
 dickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick:
 mrcraabs
 imagine if you could screenshot real life
 camera
 that thing you're talking about is a camera
 Source: mrcraabs
 wherehavemysocksgone
 comesingoodtime
 37,984
 mychemicalromanceboner
 Last night I forgot what milk was called so I called it
 Cereal water
 CEREAL WATER
 Source: iwasateenagewho
 captainrat twigtea
 113,464
 chuckle-voodoos
 aranyeha
 there should be feelings hookers
 like you hire one to come to your house and they sit there for an hour
 and listen to you cry about your life then afterwards you pay them 100
 bucks and you never see each other again how perfect would that be
 that's a therapist
 that's the thing you just described
 Source: rosekan
 steampoweredmusic
 youjustblinkedandaweepingangel
 13,417
 belle-ofthe-boulevard
 today i forgot the name for cauliflower so i called it albino broccoli
 Source: belle-ofthe-boulev
 hulksmashmouth
 101,851
 21st-century-son-ofa-bitch
 iphysianthe
 my mom's argument against piracy is "well what if you wrote a book and
 one person bought it and then hundreds of people got to read it for free
 and you didn't make any money!"
 MOTHER YOU HAVE JUST DESCRIBED
 LIBRARIES
 Source: fillette-revolutionn
 #queue wouldn't like me when I'm angry
 123,219
 Llike.your.booty
 iwasso-alone-iowe.you.so-much
 beellette:
 dad just said "there should be a netflix for books"
 five minutes later he shouted "THE LIBRARY
 Source: ghoulium
 caraknightley slett
 3,159
 tupacabra
 rabioheab:
 imagine if worms had legs
 centipedes
 Source: rabioheab
 -moriarty
 joeshmo
 shavingryansprivates:
 romeo romeo
 where the fuck is you, romeo
 Fuck you, the original line in Romeo and Juliet is "Wherefore art thou"
 And maybe if you stopped being an assumption-making bag of fucking
 asshole, you'd know that wherefore does NOT FUCKING MEAN
 "WHERE", WHEREFORE MEANS "WHY
 SHE'S ASKING WHY HIS NAME IS ROMEO. FUCK ALL OF YOU
 FUCK ALL OF YOU HARD UP THE TOENAIL. I TAKE MY
 SHAKESPEARE SERIOUSLY AS TITS.
 romeo romeo
 why the fuck is you romeo
 More like this at FUNSubstance.com
About the library piracy thing: Libraries pay the author to stock the books, just like bookstores.
                
            

            
            
About the library piracy thing: Libraries pay the author to stock the books, just like bookstores.

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex


                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex



            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    broccoli: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                broccoli: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex


                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex