🔥 | Latest

But The: ballet-royale: midnight-spectrum-again: thesaltofcarthage: festivefeathers: safifonhasstrel: bundibird: jehovahhthickness: biggest-gaudiest-fish: lipsredasroses: mayothefirst: madamehearthwitch: thegrimmlovely: riskpig: endangeredslug: riskpig: teamseabreeze: recycled-soul: skywritingg: iloveyournudity: cuntsoloud-ishere: pizzaforpresident: This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!! This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes. WHAT? The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read. WHAT????? Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books? Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies. https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL This is very true lol Yo what the f u c k not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing. What the fuck I’m ace but here you guys go
But The: ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-gaudiest-fish:


lipsredasroses:

mayothefirst:


madamehearthwitch:

thegrimmlovely:

riskpig:

endangeredslug:

riskpig:

teamseabreeze:

recycled-soul:

skywritingg:

iloveyournudity:

cuntsoloud-ishere:

pizzaforpresident:

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!




This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.


WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????


Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook


Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. 


WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL


This is very true lol 


Yo what the f u c k 






not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? 

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.



What the fuck



I’m ace but here you guys go

ballet-royale: midnight-spectrum-again: thesaltofcarthage: festivefeathers: safifonhasstrel: bundibird: jehovahhthickness: biggest-...

But The: Us students speak nothing but the truth
But The: Us students speak nothing but the truth

Us students speak nothing but the truth

But The: dontforgettospeak: wickedwonderlandd: trinikelly1984: morgrimmoon: letsmcflytobritain: deminat-20: smiling-grouch: ocean-again: loueejii: facelesssavior: twitblr: Dormant Predators This is why I have this. Even if they can get the lock opened they can’t push the door open. Got it at Lowes for $20. reblog for that last bit to save a life If you’re like me and have a large gap under your front door (someone could take a stick and just poke the leaning stick style door jam out), I recommend the Addalock. It’s small, perfect for traveling, and this lock is CRAZY. It’s so simple but the door does not move. You can’t see it from the other side, either. It also cost about $20, and I can’t recommend it enough. Easy to travel with, too! Great for Air BnBs! That’s why I have these on my doors. They get drilled into the side and once its flipped over the door nothing is getting it open. Not the door being unlocked nothing, I’ve unlocked the door and pulled and pushed as hard as I could and it didn’t budge. When I go on a trip this is what I use and when I’m home I leave it on too. No one is getting in here. Okay I know that it is necessary for many but what do you do if you need medical attention and you’re not able to open the door from the inside? Can the fire department get through these at least?   Yes. The fire department can and will break down your door if necessary, it’s one of the reasons they have axes; it’s entirely possible for door frames to melt/expand/seize or otherwise become unopenable during a house fire but the door itself can be hacked down. Or the window. In rare cases, the wall. Firefighters don’t fuck around with collateral damage when lives are at stake. Sharing for all the safety items!! This is horrifying that these things are even necessary. Reblog to save a frickin life I’ve got the addalock one from above (plus a bar for my sliding door and additional window locks) and it gives me serious piece of mind.
But The: dontforgettospeak:

wickedwonderlandd:

trinikelly1984:

morgrimmoon:

letsmcflytobritain:

deminat-20:

smiling-grouch:


ocean-again:

loueejii:

facelesssavior:

twitblr:

Dormant Predators



This is why I have this. Even if they can get the lock opened they can’t push the door open. Got it at Lowes for $20. 

reblog for that last bit to save a life


If you’re like me and have a large gap under your front door (someone could take a stick and just poke the leaning stick style door jam out), I recommend the Addalock. It’s small, perfect for traveling, and this lock is CRAZY. It’s so simple but the door does not move. 
You can’t see it from the other side, either. It also cost about $20, and I can’t recommend it enough. Easy to travel with, too! Great for Air BnBs!




That’s why I have these on my doors. They get drilled into the side and once its flipped over the door nothing is getting it open. Not the door being unlocked nothing, I’ve unlocked the door and pulled and pushed as hard as I could and it didn’t budge. When I go on a trip this is what I use and when I’m home I leave it on too. No one is getting in here.

Okay I know that it is necessary for many but what do you do if you need medical attention and you’re not able to open the door from the inside? Can the fire department get through these at least?  

Yes. The fire department can and will break down your door if necessary, it’s one of the reasons they have axes; it’s entirely possible for door frames to melt/expand/seize or otherwise become unopenable during a house fire but the door itself can be hacked down. Or the window. In rare cases, the wall. Firefighters don’t fuck around with collateral damage when lives are at stake.



Sharing for all the safety items!! 



This is horrifying that these things are even necessary. Reblog to save a frickin life

I’ve got the addalock one from above (plus a bar for my sliding door and additional window locks) and it gives me serious piece of mind.

dontforgettospeak: wickedwonderlandd: trinikelly1984: morgrimmoon: letsmcflytobritain: deminat-20: smiling-grouch: ocean-again:...

But The: “He knelt on his neck till he couldn’t breathe but the Hennessy killed him” by KingPZe MORE MEMES
But The: “He knelt on his neck till he couldn’t breathe but the Hennessy killed him” by KingPZe
MORE MEMES

“He knelt on his neck till he couldn’t breathe but the Hennessy killed him” by KingPZe MORE MEMES

But The: “He knelt on his neck till he couldn’t breathe but the Hennessy killed him”
But The: “He knelt on his neck till he couldn’t breathe but the Hennessy killed him”

“He knelt on his neck till he couldn’t breathe but the Hennessy killed him”

But The: When the restrictions lift but the ‘Rona is still out there
But The: When the restrictions lift but the ‘Rona is still out there

When the restrictions lift but the ‘Rona is still out there

But The: But the same people that supported the Coronavirus protests 😂 (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)
But The: But the same people that supported the Coronavirus protests 😂 (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)

But the same people that supported the Coronavirus protests 😂 (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)

But The: Not the ice cream I wanted as a kid, but the ice cream I deserved.
But The: Not the ice cream I wanted as a kid, but the ice cream I deserved.

Not the ice cream I wanted as a kid, but the ice cream I deserved.

But The: Not the ice cream I wanted as a kid, but the ice cream I deserved.
But The: Not the ice cream I wanted as a kid, but the ice cream I deserved.

Not the ice cream I wanted as a kid, but the ice cream I deserved.

But The: Not the hero we deserved but the hero we needed by Ravenclaw_14 MORE MEMES
But The: Not the hero we deserved but the hero we needed by Ravenclaw_14
MORE MEMES

Not the hero we deserved but the hero we needed by Ravenclaw_14 MORE MEMES

But The: Not the hero we deserved but the hero we needed
But The: Not the hero we deserved but the hero we needed

Not the hero we deserved but the hero we needed

But The: theawfuledges: okay but the sheer fucking glee on the face of the person taking this photo is the best part about this
But The: theawfuledges:
okay but the sheer fucking glee on the face of the person taking this photo is the best part about this

theawfuledges: okay but the sheer fucking glee on the face of the person taking this photo is the best part about this

But The: takamatsu-kun: Can I please just talk about MCU Proxima Midnight I love her so much and have SO MANY feelings about her aaaaah Y’all know I love reinterpreting Marvel aliens I like so here are some notes on my design of her because I love coming up with alien physiology/biology:- I turned her warpaint into facial markings so that’s just her skin now- She got a lot of markings tbh because I want them- She’s got very fine scales as opposed to human like skin, cream colored scales are a lot finer and harder to see, you can’t really tell unless you’re looking VERY closely (which means soft tummy huehuehue) skin texture’s similar to a snake in terms of feel but the scales are fairly tough, especially the closer you get to the spine.- Back spines can raise and lower like hackles but can also be ‘locked’ down when she needs to wear something (tho they’ll flare up when any feelings are at level 100)- Shiny blue iridescence that’s primarily confined to the darkest blue scales- “White” scales are really just blue reflecting the light so she has that shimmery night sky look because hello somebody- Light blue lines are for regulating body temperature- particularly for cooling. Skin is very thin there with blood vessels being close to the surface (hence why they’re blue bc her blood is a light blue color) to let off heat. The vents can expand and contract based on whether she needs to hold or release body heat. (She’s been described in canon to have a really low body temperature, actually feeling cold to the touch so she’s constantly venting heat through cooling her blood.) They’re also very sensitive ofc, important information.- Sharp nails - Also sharp teeth because I must remain on brand- And ofc she’s buff as hell HNNNNNNNNN BUFF ❤️❤️❤️❤️
But The: takamatsu-kun:



Can I please just talk about MCU Proxima Midnight I love her so much and have SO MANY feelings about her aaaaah

Y’all know I love reinterpreting Marvel aliens I like so here are some notes on my design of her because I love coming up with alien physiology/biology:- I turned her warpaint into facial markings so that’s just her skin now- She got a lot of markings tbh because I want them- She’s got very fine scales as opposed to human like skin, cream colored scales are a lot finer and harder to see, you can’t really tell unless you’re looking VERY closely (which means soft tummy huehuehue) skin texture’s similar to a snake in terms of feel but the scales are fairly tough, especially the closer you get to the spine.- Back spines can raise and lower like hackles but can also be ‘locked’ down when she needs to wear something (tho they’ll flare up when any feelings are at level 100)- Shiny blue iridescence that’s primarily confined to the darkest blue scales- “White” scales are really just blue reflecting the light so she has that shimmery night sky look because hello somebody- Light blue lines are for regulating body temperature- particularly for cooling. Skin is very thin there with blood vessels being close to the surface (hence why they’re blue bc her blood is a light blue color) to let off heat. The vents can expand and contract based on whether she needs to hold or release body heat. (She’s been described in canon to have a really low body temperature, actually feeling cold to the touch so she’s constantly venting heat through cooling her blood.) They’re also very sensitive ofc, important information.- Sharp nails - Also sharp teeth because I must remain on brand- And ofc she’s buff as hell


HNNNNNNNNN BUFF ❤️❤️❤️❤️

takamatsu-kun: Can I please just talk about MCU Proxima Midnight I love her so much and have SO MANY feelings about her aaaaah Y’all...

But The: Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need!
But The: Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need!

Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need!

But The: Pretty much the same after but the books are now a keyboard
But The: Pretty much the same after but the books are now a keyboard

Pretty much the same after but the books are now a keyboard

But The: Not the hero’s we deserve, but the hero’s we need.
But The: Not the hero’s we deserve, but the hero’s we need.

Not the hero’s we deserve, but the hero’s we need.

But The: Not the hero’s we deserve, but the hero’s we need. by Alignedsoap5557 MORE MEMES
But The: Not the hero’s we deserve, but the hero’s we need. by Alignedsoap5557
MORE MEMES

Not the hero’s we deserve, but the hero’s we need. by Alignedsoap5557 MORE MEMES

But The: Not the hero we deserved, but the one we needed
But The: Not the hero we deserved, but the one we needed

Not the hero we deserved, but the one we needed

But The: broadwaytheanimatedseries: legalizememes: smallest-feeblest-boggart: the-hittite: sexhaver: sexhaver: silverlightpony: gayestgen: scorch-mechanic: goat-plushie: Wait, there’s physical copies of Fallout Equestria? That’d have to be massive. The first run was five hardbacks of progressively increasing girth. The stack is hefty, but the books are comfortable. Each chapter has chapter art too, which I consider a plus in all fantasy books. Later runs were single-book softcover monstrosities. I think I saw another five-volume hardback run recently, but I’m not deeply involved in the fandom anymore. The second print run was two volumes, hardback, with jackets.  Dunno about any subsequent runs. I still think the 5-volume split was the best option.  It’s a big damn story. (For anyone who hasn’t read it: yes, that’s a functional replica of the main character’s go-to weapon.  No, I didn’t customize it like that; I bought it from the person who did.) anon PLEASE tell me your teacher is the author of this Ok, I Kind of hate that I know this, but I’m pretty sure that anon’s teacher did NOT write the books the others are showing off. He wrote the darker, edgier and somehow even longer fanfic OF that fanfic called Project Horizons. Original Fallout Equestria was written by someone known as Kkat who I’m 90% sure is a woman and the story only has some PG-13ish scenes at worst (you know, aside from the violence and gore that comes with a Fallout setting.) Project Horizons was written by a guy known as Somber, who I remember him mentioning in the post-chapter notes that he got fired for failing the wrong student once and the fic itself includes multiple explicit sex scenes. it’s important to me u know what the 3rd printing looks like. please note the gilded pages one of tumblr’s secret trump cards is its ability to deliver absolutely OBLITERATING gut punches like this post without any context or warning whatsoever This is some dope fandom history and cursed tumblr ancient knowledge all at once
But The: broadwaytheanimatedseries:

legalizememes:
smallest-feeblest-boggart:

the-hittite:

sexhaver:

sexhaver:


silverlightpony:


gayestgen:

scorch-mechanic:


goat-plushie:
Wait, there’s physical copies of Fallout Equestria? That’d have to be massive.
The first run was five hardbacks of progressively increasing girth. The stack is hefty, but the books are comfortable. Each chapter has chapter art too, which I consider a plus in all fantasy books.
Later runs were single-book softcover monstrosities. I think I saw another five-volume hardback run recently, but I’m not deeply involved in the fandom anymore.



The second print run was two volumes, hardback, with jackets.  Dunno about any subsequent runs.
I still think the 5-volume split was the best option.  It’s a big damn story.
(For anyone who hasn’t read it: yes, that’s a functional replica of the main character’s go-to weapon.  No, I didn’t customize it like that; I bought it from the person who did.)



anon PLEASE tell me your teacher is the author of this




Ok, I Kind of hate that I know this, but I’m pretty sure that anon’s teacher did NOT write the books the others are showing off. He wrote the darker, edgier and somehow even longer fanfic OF that fanfic called Project Horizons.
Original Fallout Equestria was written by someone known as Kkat who I’m 90% sure is a woman and the story only has some PG-13ish scenes at worst (you know, aside from the violence and gore that comes with a Fallout setting.) Project Horizons was written by a guy known as Somber, who I remember him mentioning in the post-chapter notes that he got fired for failing the wrong student once and the fic itself includes multiple explicit sex scenes.

it’s important to me u know what the 3rd printing looks like. please note the gilded pages



one of tumblr’s secret trump cards is its ability to deliver absolutely OBLITERATING gut punches like this post without any context or warning whatsoever



This is some dope fandom history and cursed tumblr ancient knowledge all at once

broadwaytheanimatedseries: legalizememes: smallest-feeblest-boggart: the-hittite: sexhaver: sexhaver: silverlightpony: gayestgen:...

But The: But The Sequel Was Lighter
But The: But The Sequel Was Lighter

But The Sequel Was Lighter

But The: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
But The: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the g...

But The: normal-horoscopes: normal-horoscopes: occultbreakfast: normal-horoscopes: viral-witchcraft: normal-horoscopes: pieandhotdogs: normal-horoscopes: trashcollectshere: normal-horoscopes: alchemicwizard: normal-horoscopes: normal-horoscopes: NOT TO DUNK ON THE ROSICRUCIANS BUT THE ROSY CROSS IS THE UGLIEST THING EVER  - HEBREW CHARACTERS FOR A CHRISTIAN ESOTERIC SYMBOL - FOUR USES OF THE ALKALAI SYMBOL BUT NO USES OF NITRE - NICE HEXAGRAM STAR TRUST US WE ARENT ANTISEMITIC - “WHAT IF WE INCORPORATED COLOR INTO THE WORKING?“ - INRI - “IS THERE A SYMBOL FOR AIR?“ “IDK DUDE JUST DRAW A BIRD“ - “WHAT ABOUT WATER?“ “DUDE JUST PICK A WATER ZODIAC“ - “WHICH WATER ZODIAC?“ “IT DOESN’T MATTER“ - “PUT GOLD OVER THE R IN REX SO PEOPLE KNOW ITS IMPORTANT“ - OCCULT GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION Literally every aspect of it is just awful. My Hebrew isnt as good as it should be but I’m 99% certain that Hebrew is complete gibberish. ALSO the water symbol looks like aquarius which I’m sure pretty much everyone is aware is an air sign. What a fucking mess. I remember when we studied these losers in my art and occulture class I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard at how much they suck. IT IS GIBBERISH BC ITS JUST THE ENTIRE ALPHABETWHICH IS LIKE AN INSECURE CHEF GETTING NERVOUS AND JUST PUTTING EVERY SEASONING THEY HAVE INTO THE POT I dont do occult stuff but i assume this is a mess to look at knowing the meaning but. Not knowing? The colors are awful, the symbols are placed carefully but look hard to decipher. The letters are hard to read and all around this could probably be replaced with something much easier to comphrehend and use. EXACTLY THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “GOOD” AND “BAD” SIGILWORK TO SOMEONE WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OCCULT THE ROSY CROSS /FEELS/ LIKE IT HAS POWER BUT IT ALSO FEELS JUMBLED MESSY OVERLY COMPLICATED AND JUST PLAIN UGLY WHEN IT COMES TO SIGILWORK INTRICACY = POWER BUT CLARITY = ACCURACY AND THE ROSY CROSS FAILS ON BOTH FRONTS You wanna know what the kicker is. Aquarius *is* the symbol for air here. The upper left point of a pentagram is attributed to air. The elemental points are assigned to the fixed signs of the zodiac. That’s why we see Taurus, Leo, and Aquarius. The water point is attributed to Scorpio, but they drew an EAGLE INSTEAD OF THE SYMBOL FOR SCORPIO BECAUSE FUCK IT NOTHING MATTERS SEE THEY ALREADY USED SCORPIO ON BEING ANTISEMITIC ON THE INRI DIAGRAM This looks like a fucking board game. OH MY GOD YOURE RIGHT IT LOOKS LIKE A PART TO SOME REDICULOUSLY COMPLEX BOARD GAME YOUR FRIEND SWORE IS THE FUNNEST THING EVER THE ROSY CROSS TAKES 90 MINUTES TO SET UP AND HAS FOUR DIFFERENT DECKS OF CARDS SPECIAL DICE AND TWO DIFFERENT PLASTIC HOURGLASSES @normal-horoscopes This reminds me of the Hermetic Chess invented by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Right down to being too colorful and overly complicated HANG ON I NEED TO GOOGLE SOME THINGS MERCIFUL NIGHT
But The: normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

occultbreakfast:

normal-horoscopes:

viral-witchcraft:


normal-horoscopes:


pieandhotdogs:


normal-horoscopes:


trashcollectshere:

normal-horoscopes:


alchemicwizard:

normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:
NOT TO DUNK ON THE ROSICRUCIANS BUT THE ROSY CROSS IS THE UGLIEST THING EVER
 - HEBREW CHARACTERS FOR A CHRISTIAN ESOTERIC SYMBOL - FOUR USES OF THE ALKALAI SYMBOL BUT NO USES OF NITRE - NICE HEXAGRAM STAR TRUST US WE ARENT ANTISEMITIC - “WHAT IF WE INCORPORATED COLOR INTO THE WORKING?“ - INRI - “IS THERE A SYMBOL FOR AIR?“ “IDK DUDE JUST DRAW A BIRD“ - “WHAT ABOUT WATER?“ “DUDE JUST PICK A WATER ZODIAC“ - “WHICH WATER ZODIAC?“ “IT DOESN’T MATTER“ - “PUT GOLD OVER THE R IN REX SO PEOPLE KNOW ITS IMPORTANT“ - OCCULT GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION

Literally every aspect of it is just awful. My Hebrew isnt as good as it should be but I’m 99% certain that Hebrew is complete gibberish. 
ALSO the water symbol looks like aquarius which I’m sure pretty much everyone is aware is an air sign. What a fucking mess. 
I remember when we studied these losers in my art and occulture class I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard at how much they suck. 

IT IS GIBBERISH BC ITS JUST THE ENTIRE ALPHABETWHICH IS LIKE AN INSECURE CHEF GETTING NERVOUS AND JUST PUTTING EVERY SEASONING THEY HAVE INTO THE POT 



I dont do occult stuff but i assume this is a mess to look at knowing the meaning but. Not knowing? The colors are awful, the symbols are placed carefully but look hard to decipher. The letters are hard to read and all around this could probably be replaced with something much easier to comphrehend and use.

EXACTLY
THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “GOOD” AND “BAD” SIGILWORK
TO SOMEONE WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OCCULT THE ROSY CROSS /FEELS/ LIKE IT HAS POWER BUT IT ALSO FEELS JUMBLED MESSY OVERLY COMPLICATED AND JUST PLAIN UGLY 
WHEN IT COMES TO SIGILWORK INTRICACY = POWER BUT CLARITY = ACCURACY AND THE ROSY CROSS FAILS ON BOTH FRONTS 



You wanna know what the kicker is. Aquarius *is* the symbol for air here. The upper left point of a pentagram is attributed to air. The elemental points are assigned to the fixed signs of the zodiac. That’s why we see Taurus, Leo, and Aquarius. The water point is attributed to Scorpio, but they drew an EAGLE INSTEAD OF THE SYMBOL FOR SCORPIO BECAUSE FUCK IT NOTHING MATTERS



SEE THEY ALREADY USED SCORPIO ON BEING ANTISEMITIC ON THE INRI DIAGRAM 



This looks like a fucking board game.



OH MY GOD YOURE RIGHT
IT LOOKS LIKE A PART TO SOME REDICULOUSLY COMPLEX BOARD GAME YOUR FRIEND SWORE IS THE FUNNEST THING EVER 
THE ROSY CROSS TAKES 90 MINUTES TO SET UP AND HAS FOUR DIFFERENT DECKS OF CARDS SPECIAL DICE AND TWO DIFFERENT PLASTIC HOURGLASSES 

@normal-horoscopes This reminds me of the Hermetic Chess invented by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Right down to being too colorful and overly complicated


HANG ON I NEED TO GOOGLE SOME THINGS 


MERCIFUL NIGHT

normal-horoscopes: normal-horoscopes: occultbreakfast: normal-horoscopes: viral-witchcraft: normal-horoscopes: pieandhotdogs: n...

But The: sonneillonv: violent-cisbian: lesbianplayinanimalcrossing: violent-cisbian: thevirginmaryswomb: radcybergoth: blackswallowtailbutterfly: ryderdai: the-pump-king: morphimus: charlesoberonn: charlesoberonn: queen-of-dirt: charlesoberonn: notaboyscout: charlesoberonn: memory-thought: charlesoberonn: updogonline: It took me 3 watches to realize the door is cardboard and this man is not just freakishly strong. I assure you this is a standard interior door, usually only exterior doors are solid. You can see the inside of the cardboard though. This isn’t a real door, it’s a prop from a movie or TV set. it has a paper honeycomb for rigidity, and that’s how interior doors are made for modern construction in the USA. y'all have never kicked a hole in your bedroom door in a flurry of teenage hormonal rage and it shows If I kicked my bedroom door I’d more likely break my foot than the door. I always thought people punching through doors or shoving people through doors was just from the movies. Doors in my country are generally solid planks of wood, a polymer of sorts, or metal. American homes are made extremely cheaply and aren’t built to last. Steam from hot showers seeps into wall which are not treated to handle moisture, and mold grows in the walls. Almost every wall or floor is made out of plywood. Flimsy roofing that can withstand a run of the mill heavy storm, but not much more than that. Weak foundations that wouldn’t hold up at all if it weren’t for how light and plywood-y the overall house is. Not every American house is this shitty in all of these ways, but the vast majority of them are, and almost all of them have at least one of these problems. Even rich people’s homes. Read this article. https://dengarden.com/misc/American-Houses-and-Bad-Quality Then watch this video. Are we just ignoring this original post was about the OP looking for Elf Pussy or are we just totally past that? It’s already been answered that there is no elf pussy here, so why dwell? 🤷🏾‍♂️ I’m in Canada. I haven’t noticed any door be quite that flimsy. You could kick a hole in some of them (the hollow ones) but not right through, and not without hurting yourself. It also depends on how old your house is. My parents house is from the 80s and all the doors are solid wood Yeah my parents were the first people to live in our house so it would have been built in the same decade. I remember my mom saying that she liked how the doors were solid wood, and little me was confused bc I thought all doors were made of wood do y'all,,,, not have stone walls,,,,? No we don’t, usually just plywood or plasterboard with wooden frames for support. If it is stone it’s usually just a “feature wall” that is made of the aforementioned materials but with a thin layer of stone glued on. Basically this but just with paint over the plasterboard, American houses (or at least new ones) are built to look nice but ware easily. why would anyone build something like that? didn’t the pig with the wood house get killed or something? don’t y'all learn from your childhood? I live in AZ and one of my exterior doors is Styrofoam. Literally Styrofoam with a flexible plastic plate over it. You could kick right through it.  Or, if you felt like sneaking in and murdering me, cut through it with a kitchen knife.   Needless to say I’m having it replaced. -laughs in solid wooden door-
But The: sonneillonv:

violent-cisbian:

lesbianplayinanimalcrossing:


violent-cisbian:


thevirginmaryswomb:


radcybergoth:


blackswallowtailbutterfly:


ryderdai:

the-pump-king:


morphimus:


charlesoberonn:

charlesoberonn:

queen-of-dirt:

charlesoberonn:

notaboyscout:

charlesoberonn:


memory-thought:

charlesoberonn:


updogonline:

It took me 3 watches to realize the door is cardboard and this man is not just freakishly strong.



I assure you this is a standard interior door, usually only exterior doors are solid. 

You can see the inside of the cardboard though.
This isn’t a real door, it’s a prop from a movie or TV set.



it has a paper honeycomb for rigidity, and that’s how interior doors are made for modern construction in the USA. 




y'all have never kicked a hole in your bedroom door in a flurry of teenage hormonal rage and it shows

If I kicked my bedroom door I’d more likely break my foot than the door.



I always thought people punching through doors or shoving people through doors was just from the movies. Doors in my country are generally solid planks of wood, a polymer of sorts, or metal.



American homes are made extremely cheaply and aren’t built to last.
Steam from hot showers seeps into wall which are not treated to handle moisture, and mold grows in the walls.
Almost every wall or floor is made out of plywood.
Flimsy roofing that can withstand a run of the mill heavy storm, but not much more than that.
Weak foundations that wouldn’t hold up at all if it weren’t for how light and plywood-y the overall house is.
Not every American house is this shitty in all of these ways, but the vast majority of them are, and almost all of them have at least one of these problems. Even rich people’s homes.
Read this article.
https://dengarden.com/misc/American-Houses-and-Bad-Quality
Then watch this video.



Are we just ignoring this original post was about the OP looking for Elf Pussy or are we just totally past that? 



It’s already been answered that there is no elf pussy here, so why dwell? 🤷🏾‍♂️

I’m in Canada. I haven’t noticed any door be quite that flimsy. You could kick a hole in some of them (the hollow ones) but not right through, and not without hurting yourself.



It also depends on how old your house is. My parents house is from the 80s and all the doors are solid wood



Yeah my parents were the first people to live in our house so it would have been built in the same decade. I remember my mom saying that she liked how the doors were solid wood, and little me was confused bc I thought all doors were made of wood



do y'all,,,, not have stone walls,,,,?



No we don’t, usually just plywood or plasterboard with wooden frames for support. If it is stone it’s usually just a “feature wall” that is made of the aforementioned materials but with a thin layer of stone glued on.
Basically this but just with paint over the plasterboard, American houses (or at least new ones) are built to look nice but ware easily.



why would anyone build something like that? didn’t the pig with the wood house get killed or something? don’t y'all learn from your childhood?

I live in AZ and one of my exterior doors is Styrofoam.
Literally Styrofoam with a flexible plastic plate over it.
You could kick right through it.  Or, if you felt like sneaking in and murdering me, cut through it with a kitchen knife.  
Needless to say I’m having it replaced.



-laughs in solid wooden door-

sonneillonv: violent-cisbian: lesbianplayinanimalcrossing: violent-cisbian: thevirginmaryswomb: radcybergoth: blackswallowtailb...

But The: bogleech: lynati: movemequotes: Once a little boy went to school.One morningThe teacher said:“Today we are going to make a picture.”“Good!” thought the little boy.He liked to make all kinds;Lions and tigers,Chickens and cows,Trains and boats;And he took out his box of crayonsAnd began to draw. But the teacher said, “Wait!”“It is not time to begin!”And she waited until everyone looked ready.“Now,” said the teacher,“We are going to make flowers.”“Good!” thought the little boy,He liked to make beautiful onesWith his pink and orange and blue crayons.But the teacher said “Wait!”“And I will show you how.”And it was red, with a green stem.“There,” said the teacher,“Now you may begin.” The little boy looked at his teacher’s flowerThen he looked at his own flower.He liked his flower better than the teacher’sBut he did not say this.He just turned his paper over,And made a flower like the teacher’s.It was red, with a green stem. On another dayThe teacher said:“Today we are going to make something with clay.”“Good!” thought the little boy;He liked clay.He could make all kinds of things with clay:Snakes and snowmen,Elephants and mice,Cars and trucksAnd he began to pull and pinchHis ball of clay. But the teacher said, “Wait!”“It is not time to begin!”And she waited until everyone looked ready.“Now,” said the teacher,“We are going to make a dish.”“Good!” thought the little boy,He liked to make dishes.And he began to make someThat were all shapes and sizes. But the teacher said “Wait!”“And I will show you how.”And she showed everyone how to makeOne deep dish.“There,” said the teacher,“Now you may begin.” The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish;Then he looked at his own.He liked his better than the teacher’sBut he did not say this.He just rolled his clay into a big ball againAnd made a dish like the teacher’s.It was a deep dish. And pretty soonThe little boy learned to wait,And to watchAnd to make things just like the teacher.And pretty soonHe didn’t make things of his own anymore. Then it happenedThat the little boy and his familyMoved to another house,In another city,And the little boyHad to go to another school. The teacher said:“Today we are going to make a picture.”“Good!” thought the little boy.And he waited for the teacherTo tell what to do.But the teacher didn’t say anything.She just walked around the room. When she came to the little boyShe asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?”“Yes,” said the little boy.“What are we going to make?”“I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher.“How shall I make it?” asked the little boy.“Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher.“And any color?” asked the little boy.“Any color,” said the teacher.And he began to make a red flower with a green stem. ~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy … I hate that I hesitated to reblog this just because I expect people to think it’s pretentious or melodramatic when it’s seriously real as fuck and I’ve witnessed it
But The: bogleech:

lynati:

movemequotes:

Once a little boy went to school.One morningThe teacher said:“Today we are going to make a picture.”“Good!” thought the little boy.He liked to make all kinds;Lions and tigers,Chickens and cows,Trains and boats;And he took out his box of crayonsAnd began to draw.
But the teacher said, “Wait!”“It is not time to begin!”And she waited until everyone looked ready.“Now,” said the teacher,“We are going to make flowers.”“Good!” thought the little boy,He liked to make beautiful onesWith his pink and orange and blue crayons.But the teacher said “Wait!”“And I will show you how.”And it was red, with a green stem.“There,” said the teacher,“Now you may begin.”
The little boy looked at his teacher’s flowerThen he looked at his own flower.He liked his flower better than the teacher’sBut he did not say this.He just turned his paper over,And made a flower like the teacher’s.It was red, with a green stem.
On another dayThe teacher said:“Today we are going to make something with clay.”“Good!” thought the little boy;He liked clay.He could make all kinds of things with clay:Snakes and snowmen,Elephants and mice,Cars and trucksAnd he began to pull and pinchHis ball of clay.
But the teacher said, “Wait!”“It is not time to begin!”And she waited until everyone looked ready.“Now,” said the teacher,“We are going to make a dish.”“Good!” thought the little boy,He liked to make dishes.And he began to make someThat were all shapes and sizes.
But the teacher said “Wait!”“And I will show you how.”And she showed everyone how to makeOne deep dish.“There,” said the teacher,“Now you may begin.”
The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish;Then he looked at his own.He liked his better than the teacher’sBut he did not say this.He just rolled his clay into a big ball againAnd made a dish like the teacher’s.It was a deep dish.
And pretty soonThe little boy learned to wait,And to watchAnd to make things just like the teacher.And pretty soonHe didn’t make things of his own anymore.
Then it happenedThat the little boy and his familyMoved to another house,In another city,And the little boyHad to go to another school.
The teacher said:“Today we are going to make a picture.”“Good!” thought the little boy.And he waited for the teacherTo tell what to do.But the teacher didn’t say anything.She just walked around the room.
When she came to the little boyShe asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?”“Yes,” said the little boy.“What are we going to make?”“I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher.“How shall I make it?” asked the little boy.“Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher.“And any color?” asked the little boy.“Any color,” said the teacher.And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.
~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy

…


I hate that I hesitated to reblog this just because I expect people to think it’s pretentious or melodramatic when it’s seriously real as fuck and I’ve witnessed it

bogleech: lynati: movemequotes: Once a little boy went to school.One morningThe teacher said:“Today we are going to make a picture.”“G...

But The: normal-horoscopes: trashcollectshere: normal-horoscopes: alchemicwizard: normal-horoscopes: normal-horoscopes: NOT TO DUNK ON THE ROSICRUCIANS BUT THE ROSY CROSS IS THE UGLIEST THING EVER  - HEBREW CHARACTERS FOR A CHRISTIAN ESOTERIC SYMBOL - FOUR USES OF THE ALKALAI SYMBOL BUT NO USES OF NITRE - NICE HEXAGRAM STAR TRUST US WE ARENT ANTISEMITIC - “WHAT IF WE INCORPORATED COLOR INTO THE WORKING?“ - INRI - “IS THERE A SYMBOL FOR AIR?“ “IDK DUDE JUST DRAW A BIRD“ - “WHAT ABOUT WATER?“ “DUDE JUST PICK A WATER ZODIAC“ - “WHICH WATER ZODIAC?“ “IT DOESN’T MATTER“ - “PUT GOLD OVER THE R IN REX SO PEOPLE KNOW ITS IMPORTANT“ - OCCULT GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION Literally every aspect of it is just awful. My Hebrew isnt as good as it should be but I’m 99% certain that Hebrew is complete gibberish. ALSO the water symbol looks like aquarius which I’m sure pretty much everyone is aware is an air sign. What a fucking mess. I remember when we studied these losers in my art and occulture class I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard at how much they suck. IT IS GIBBERISH BC ITS JUST THE ENTIRE ALPHABETWHICH IS LIKE AN INSECURE CHEF GETTING NERVOUS AND JUST PUTTING EVERY SEASONING THEY HAVE INTO THE POT I dont do occult stuff but i assume this is a mess to look at knowing the meaning but. Not knowing? The colors are awful, the symbols are placed carefully but look hard to decipher. The letters are hard to read and all around this could probably be replaced with something much easier to comphrehend and use. EXACTLYTHIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “GOOD” AND “BAD” SIGILWORKTO SOMEONE WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OCCULT THE ROSY CROSS /FEELS/ LIKE IT HAS POWER BUT IT ALSO FEELS JUMBLED MESSY OVERLY COMPLICATED AND JUST PLAIN UGLY WHEN IT COMES TO SIGILWORK INTRICACY = POWER BUT CLARITY = ACCURACY AND THE ROSY CROSS FAILS ON BOTH FRONTS
But The: normal-horoscopes:

trashcollectshere:
normal-horoscopes:


alchemicwizard:

normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:
NOT TO DUNK ON THE ROSICRUCIANS BUT THE ROSY CROSS IS THE UGLIEST THING EVER
 - HEBREW CHARACTERS FOR A CHRISTIAN ESOTERIC SYMBOL - FOUR USES OF THE ALKALAI SYMBOL BUT NO USES OF NITRE - NICE HEXAGRAM STAR TRUST US WE ARENT ANTISEMITIC - “WHAT IF WE INCORPORATED COLOR INTO THE WORKING?“ - INRI - “IS THERE A SYMBOL FOR AIR?“ “IDK DUDE JUST DRAW A BIRD“ - “WHAT ABOUT WATER?“ “DUDE JUST PICK A WATER ZODIAC“ - “WHICH WATER ZODIAC?“ “IT DOESN’T MATTER“ - “PUT GOLD OVER THE R IN REX SO PEOPLE KNOW ITS IMPORTANT“ - OCCULT GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION

Literally every aspect of it is just awful. My Hebrew isnt as good as it should be but I’m 99% certain that Hebrew is complete gibberish. 
ALSO the water symbol looks like aquarius which I’m sure pretty much everyone is aware is an air sign. What a fucking mess. 
I remember when we studied these losers in my art and occulture class I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard at how much they suck. 

IT IS GIBBERISH BC ITS JUST THE ENTIRE ALPHABETWHICH IS LIKE AN INSECURE CHEF GETTING NERVOUS AND JUST PUTTING EVERY SEASONING THEY HAVE INTO THE POT 



I dont do occult stuff but i assume this is a mess to look at knowing the meaning but. Not knowing? The colors are awful, the symbols are placed carefully but look hard to decipher. The letters are hard to read and all around this could probably be replaced with something much easier to comphrehend and use.

EXACTLYTHIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “GOOD” AND “BAD” SIGILWORKTO SOMEONE WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OCCULT THE ROSY CROSS /FEELS/ LIKE IT HAS POWER BUT IT ALSO FEELS JUMBLED MESSY OVERLY COMPLICATED AND JUST PLAIN UGLY WHEN IT COMES TO SIGILWORK INTRICACY = POWER BUT CLARITY = ACCURACY AND THE ROSY CROSS FAILS ON BOTH FRONTS

normal-horoscopes: trashcollectshere: normal-horoscopes: alchemicwizard: normal-horoscopes: normal-horoscopes: NOT TO DUNK ON THE RO...

But The: Not the addiction I wanted but the one I needed
But The: Not the addiction I wanted but the one I needed

Not the addiction I wanted but the one I needed

But The: Nothing but the truth by Dalcoy_96 MORE MEMES
But The: Nothing but the truth by Dalcoy_96
MORE MEMES

Nothing but the truth by Dalcoy_96 MORE MEMES

But The: When you are laughing at all the corona memes but the laughing suddenly turns into coughing
But The: When you are laughing at all the corona memes but the laughing suddenly turns into coughing

When you are laughing at all the corona memes but the laughing suddenly turns into coughing

But The: But the noblest of motives by YungTembo MORE MEMES
But The: But the noblest of motives by YungTembo
MORE MEMES

But the noblest of motives by YungTembo MORE MEMES

But The: Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need
But The: Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need

Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need

But The: Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need by Senji06 MORE MEMES
But The: Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need by Senji06
MORE MEMES

Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need by Senji06 MORE MEMES

But The: prettyeyezciya: jess-curious: dynastylnoire: hugochillingsworth: onlyblackgirl: bruddabois: sobeitjay: catmasterfunk: thehighpriestofreverseracism: This is beautiful i will literally never not reblog this. do people really say that Yea I’ve heard people say that shit Yes, they say it all the time. http://instagram.com/miryamlumpini Here’s her account, her tattoos are so fantastic to look at. reblogging for the tattoo artists IG to be boosted I keep seeing this post and I’ve gotta speak up on it, because that isn’t a good example of color on dark skin.  I’m a tattoo artist, and I’ve had a bunch of clients come in saying they were told dark skin can’t take any color whatsoever, which is bullshit. The long and short of it is dark skin can take plenty of color, provided it isn’t too light. Tattoos look best when they’re fresh because the ink is still on the top layer of open skin. As the skin heals over the tattoo, the color gets less vibrant and defined. This is true of anybody of any skin tone. Tattoo pigments tend to act a lot like watercolor; they’re not terribly opaque in the skin, meaning that as that tattoo ages, the white will fade into patches of slightly lighter skin, and may disappear altogether, as will lighter colors like yellows and pinks. Many artists consider doing tattoos entirely or mostly in white ink to be irresponsible for that reason, and use white ink very sparingly to create small highlights, in places where even faded ink will add contrast. Notice how the yellow is all but gone on even the lightest skin, while the deeper reds have stayed. And that isn’t even factoring in sun exposure, how often the skin is submerged in water, friction, or how the skin in the area bends and flexes. I know extremely pale people who lost all the color in their tattoos in 5 years due to a variety of those factors; I’m pale as they come, and the yellow in my oldest tattoo is only 2 years old and already super faded.  Color that lasts a long time is darker and more saturated than the skin it’s in. See how the butterfly is still noticeably purple, and stands out in all the skin tones? Teals, yellows, pinks and whites photograph beautifully in dark skin, but ultimately don’t have longevity as tattoos. Dark skin, however, can still take reds, blues, greens, purples, and browns beautifully! The best way to make color vivid in any skin is to put it in a strong black outline; tattoos like the one below will look like bruises as they age, and the fading color doesn’t have structured black to contrast and frame it. Here’s some color on dark skin that will age well! The yellows in this tattoo are very saturated and framed in lots of solid black; even if they fade, the fish will stay nice and vibrant. Similarly, the white in this tattoo will definitely lighten, but the dark reds and blacks will hold the tattoo together very well. Tl;dr, have a solid black outline, make sure the colors you pick are darker/more saturated than your own skin, and don’t rely too heavily on white. These are basic tattoo principles that can and should be used when deciding on any tattoo, regardless of skintone. Hope it helps! Reblogging for the amazing fucking information I just received on tattoos
But The: prettyeyezciya:
jess-curious:

dynastylnoire:

hugochillingsworth:

onlyblackgirl:


bruddabois:


sobeitjay:


catmasterfunk:

thehighpriestofreverseracism:
This is beautiful

i will literally never not reblog this.

do people really say that


Yea I’ve heard people say that shit


Yes, they say it all the time.


http://instagram.com/miryamlumpini
Here’s her account, her tattoos are so fantastic to look at.

reblogging for the tattoo artists IG to be boosted

I keep seeing this post and I’ve gotta speak up on it, because that isn’t a good example of color on dark skin. 
I’m a tattoo artist, and I’ve had a bunch of clients come in saying they were told dark skin can’t take any color whatsoever, which is bullshit. The long and short of it is dark skin can take plenty of color, provided it isn’t too light.
Tattoos look best when they’re fresh because the ink is still on the top layer of open skin. As the skin heals over the tattoo, the color gets less vibrant and defined. This is true of anybody of any skin tone. Tattoo pigments tend to act a lot like watercolor; they’re not terribly opaque in the skin, meaning that as that tattoo ages, the white will fade into patches of slightly lighter skin, and may disappear altogether, as will lighter colors like yellows and pinks. Many artists consider doing tattoos entirely or mostly in white ink to be irresponsible for that reason, and use white ink very sparingly to create small highlights, in places where even faded ink will add contrast.

Notice how the yellow is all but gone on even the lightest skin, while the deeper reds have stayed. And that isn’t even factoring in sun exposure, how often the skin is submerged in water, friction, or how the skin in the area bends and flexes. I know extremely pale people who lost all the color in their tattoos in 5 years due to a variety of those factors; I’m pale as they come, and the yellow in my oldest tattoo is only 2 years old and already super faded. 
Color that lasts a long time is darker and more saturated than the skin it’s in.

See how the butterfly is still noticeably purple, and stands out in all the skin tones?
Teals, yellows, pinks and whites photograph beautifully in dark skin, but ultimately don’t have longevity as tattoos. Dark skin, however, can still take reds, blues, greens, purples, and browns beautifully! The best way to make color vivid in any skin is to put it in a strong black outline; tattoos like the one below will look like bruises as they age, and the fading color doesn’t have structured black to contrast and frame it.

Here’s some color on dark skin that will age well!
The yellows in this tattoo are very saturated and framed in lots of solid black; even if they fade, the fish will stay nice and vibrant.
Similarly, the white in this tattoo will definitely lighten, but the dark reds and blacks will hold the tattoo together very well.
Tl;dr, have a solid black outline, make sure the colors you pick are darker/more saturated than your own skin, and don’t rely too heavily on white. These are basic tattoo principles that can and should be used when deciding on any tattoo, regardless of skintone. Hope it helps!


Reblogging for the amazing fucking information I just received on tattoos

prettyeyezciya: jess-curious: dynastylnoire: hugochillingsworth: onlyblackgirl: bruddabois: sobeitjay: catmasterfunk: thehighpr...

But The: poshtearexdoodles: I know she ripped the grass out with her bare hands, but the idea of her just angrily using a lawnmower is hilarious to me.Also who else is excited for her return tonight!? :D
But The: poshtearexdoodles:

I know she ripped the grass out with her bare hands, but the idea of her just angrily using a lawnmower is hilarious to me.Also who else is excited for her return tonight!? :D

poshtearexdoodles: I know she ripped the grass out with her bare hands, but the idea of her just angrily using a lawnmower is hilarious...

But The: „I need moral support but the m is silent“
But The: „I need moral support but the m is silent“

„I need moral support but the m is silent“

But The: shed1nja: salty-sadness22: kintatsujo: pretentioussongtitle: disease-danger-darkness-silence: captainroxythefoxy: e-v-roslyn: guu: kuruluv: catwithaknife: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/kzqpd9/heres-an-insane-story-about-a-rogue-music-teacher-cutting-a-kids-hair what the fuck i’m just gonna take this post for a moment so i can rant but like i Hate how entitled adults can feel over a child’s hair! it started when i was young myself, i wanted a mohawk, but my dad didn’t approve of that look on a “girl”, and insisted i’d regret such a bold cut. at 16 i was finally given full autonomy over my own head. but then i have a son and everyone around us is trying to keep his hair short. when we finally moved out just me my partner and him, i told him he doesn’t need to get any haircuts he doesn’t want. so he starts growing it out, it’s still short but coming on mid-length. his teacher makes a point to tell me it’s getting long as if i don’t have eyes. i hear her walking out with him one day talking to him about haircuts, as if to coax him into one. eventually i get child services called on me for ‘forcing a transgender lifestyle’ over what i can only assume is from a combination of me drawing cute ponies on his valentine box and letting him go to school in a ponytail. he kept it short for awhile after but told me he wanted to grow it out again, so i let him of course. he comes home one day after getting a haircut at his grandpa’s and tells me he didn’t Want the haircut. i ask why he got it then and learned he was bribed with a promise of a surprise IF he cut his hair. tl;dr people need to back the hell up off of children and let them have owership of what’s on THEIR body! /rant Same thing about getting a child to curl or straighten their hair. Or do anything with it. Just let kids have control over their bodies. This happened to me when I was little too!! Growing up I had naturally tight Shirley Temple curls. The only problem was that you can’t get a hair brush through it if your life depended on it until it grew out over a few years. but This One Lady from church decided that leaving my hair messy and curly was child abuse and threatened to call social services on my family every damn time she saw me until one day she was the designated kid watcher and ho boy my momma tells me i came out with tears in my eyes and greasy slicked down hair and that’s where she ends the story because i think my mother beat her ass but yeah. Leave kids hair alone. I’m going to be honest, parents who are super-controlling of their children’s hair creep me the fuck out and I’m not entirely certain why except that I get a vague feeling they kind of relegate them to, “annoying talking doll” status. I loved my daughter’s long blond hair. It was thick and wavy and beautiful but when she told me she wanted it cut short ‘like a boy’(she was four)  I took her to the salon and let her whack it off.  The stylist was skeptical, ‘are you sure?” and the thing is, she said this to me, not my daughter. So I asked my girl ‘are you sure you want it cut short?’ She was. The hair went. The stylist acted nervous most of the way through like she was waiting for one of us to burst into tears, but it looked cute! And my daughter loved it! (And it’s been short ever since.) Autonomy over your hair is bodily autonomy and we as a culture need to start holding bodily autonomy as sacred My family, for years, wouldn’t let me dye/cut my hair really short. I could understand the dye, but the shortest they’d let me go is a bob. They even let me dye my hair before letting me go that short. I’m finally in control of my hair and my hair is one of my favorite things about myself. It’s an easy way to express myself. Let kids do what they want with their hair! Let them have fun with their hair before they’re told to grow up and have ‘professional’ hair! My mom had a monopoly over my hair. Wouldn’t let me wear it natural, was obsessed with me having flyaways in the front and wouldn’t let me get out of the car in the mornings until they were flat, permed it when I was 10, wouldn’t let me cut it off for years after even though it was really damaged, vocally disapproved when I finally cut it as short as she’d let me. When I moved out I stopped putting any heat in it and a few years later I cut it all off again. The second cut was my decision alone and it felt like a weight lifted off me, like no one could ever tell me what to do with it again or tell me “I needed it” to be pretty. My stepfather and his stepfather forced a hair cut on me 10 years ago because they said i was too girly for their tastes.I grew my hair out ever since because ill never go fucking bald again like those two fucking neo nazis
But The: shed1nja:
salty-sadness22:

kintatsujo:

pretentioussongtitle:

disease-danger-darkness-silence:

captainroxythefoxy:

e-v-roslyn:

guu:

kuruluv:

catwithaknife:

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/kzqpd9/heres-an-insane-story-about-a-rogue-music-teacher-cutting-a-kids-hair

what the fuck

i’m just gonna take this post for a moment so i can rant but like
i Hate how entitled adults can feel over a child’s hair!
it started when i was young myself, i wanted a mohawk, but my dad didn’t approve of that look on a “girl”, and insisted i’d regret such a bold cut. at 16 i was finally given full autonomy over my own head.
but then i have a son and everyone around us is trying to keep his hair short. when we finally moved out just me my partner and him, i told him he doesn’t need to get any haircuts he doesn’t want.
so he starts growing it out, it’s still short but coming on mid-length. his teacher makes a point to tell me it’s getting long as if i don’t have eyes. i hear her walking out with him one day talking to him about haircuts, as if to coax him into one. eventually i get child services called on me for ‘forcing a transgender lifestyle’ over what i can only assume is from a combination of me drawing cute ponies on his valentine box and letting him go to school in a ponytail.
he kept it short for awhile after but told me he wanted to grow it out again, so i let him of course. he comes home one day after getting a haircut at his grandpa’s and tells me he didn’t Want the haircut.
i ask why he got it then and learned he was bribed with a promise of a surprise IF he cut his hair.
tl;dr people need to back the hell up off of children and let them have owership of what’s on THEIR body! /rant


Same thing about getting a child to curl or straighten their hair. Or do anything with it. Just let kids have control over their bodies.


This happened to me when I was little too!! Growing up I had naturally tight Shirley Temple curls. The only problem was that you can’t get a hair brush through it if your life depended on it until it grew out over a few years. 
but This One Lady from church decided that leaving my hair messy and curly was child abuse and threatened to call social services on my family every damn time she saw me until one day she was the designated kid watcher and ho boy my momma tells me i came out with tears in my eyes and greasy slicked down hair and that’s where she ends the story because i think my mother beat her ass but yeah.
Leave kids hair alone.

I’m going to be honest, parents who are super-controlling of their children’s hair creep me the fuck out and I’m not entirely certain why except that I get a vague feeling they kind of relegate them to, “annoying talking doll” status.

I loved my daughter’s long blond hair. It was thick and wavy and beautiful but when she told me she wanted it cut short ‘like a boy’(she was four)  I took her to the salon and let her whack it off. 
The stylist was skeptical, ‘are you sure?” and the thing is, she said this to me, not my daughter. So I asked my girl ‘are you sure you want it cut short?’ She was. The hair went. The stylist acted nervous most of the way through like she was waiting for one of us to burst into tears, but it looked cute! And my daughter loved it! (And it’s been short ever since.)

Autonomy over your hair is bodily autonomy and we as a culture need to start holding bodily autonomy as sacred

My family, for years, wouldn’t let me dye/cut my hair really short. I could understand the dye, but the shortest they’d let me go is a bob. They even let me dye my hair before letting me go that short. I’m finally in control of my hair and my hair is one of my favorite things about myself. It’s an easy way to express myself.  
 Let kids do what they want with their hair! Let them have fun with their hair before they’re told to grow up and have ‘professional’ hair! 

My mom had a monopoly over my hair. Wouldn’t let me wear it natural, was obsessed with me having flyaways in the front and wouldn’t let me get out of the car in the mornings until they were flat, permed it when I was 10, wouldn’t let me cut it off for years after even though it was really damaged, vocally disapproved when I finally cut it as short as she’d let me.
When I moved out I stopped putting any heat in it and a few years later I cut it all off again. The second cut was my decision alone and it felt like a weight lifted off me, like no one could ever tell me what to do with it again or tell me “I needed it” to be pretty.



My stepfather and his stepfather forced a hair cut on me 10 years ago because they said i was too girly for their tastes.I grew my hair out ever since because ill never go fucking bald again like those two fucking neo nazis

shed1nja: salty-sadness22: kintatsujo: pretentioussongtitle: disease-danger-darkness-silence: captainroxythefoxy: e-v-roslyn: guu:...

But The: positive-memes:The heroes we need but the heroes we dont deserve Listen to your most trusted german when she says:Yep. They did that and it’s fucking hilarious. Fuck those nazi scumbags
But The: positive-memes:The heroes we need but the heroes we dont deserve


Listen to your most trusted german when she says:Yep. They did that and it’s fucking hilarious. Fuck those nazi scumbags

positive-memes:The heroes we need but the heroes we dont deserve Listen to your most trusted german when she says:Yep. They did that an...

But The: ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER I love this
But The: ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER



I love this

ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: Th...