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Anaconda, College, and God: PIRITS bookhobbit why is "olde vampires in high school" the big thing and not "olde vampires in college" everyone in college is eccentric. everyone you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn't slept in three days supports you everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you're polite and follow class etiquette multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail! wandering around campus at 3am? that's just the lifestyle tm * no matter how old or young you look it's not really that weird, there's sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere big schools are very anonymous so nobody's gonna bother to hassle you * anorthernskyatdawn the girl in pyjamas is the vampire themauvesoul Also: If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it's juice and be Jealous "Oh god I'm a monster" 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say "same simultaniousely and with the exact same tone Everything is a joke so if u say "I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind" someone will go "lol what a mood* It would take u like 100 years to major in everything Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascoft Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they'll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature * e * iterally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that alway:s has qum and a stapler If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major Allergic to crosses? Cool. So r certain stem majors. e * College Vampires
Anaconda, College, and God: PIRITS
 bookhobbit
 why is "olde vampires in high school" the big thing and not "olde vampires
 in college"
 everyone in college is eccentric. everyone
 you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who
 clearly hasn't slept in three days supports you
 everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you're polite and
 follow class etiquette
 multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy
 learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail!
 wandering around campus at 3am? that's just the lifestyle tm
 *
 no matter how old or young you look it's not really that weird, there's
 sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere
 big schools are very anonymous so nobody's gonna bother to hassle
 you
 *
 anorthernskyatdawn
 the girl in pyjamas is the vampire
 themauvesoul
 Also:
 If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it's juice and be
 Jealous
 "Oh god I'm a monster" 20 students who r all procrastinating big
 projects say "same simultaniousely and with the exact same tone
 Everything is a joke so if u say "I subsist on the lifeblood of
 mankind" someone will go "lol what a mood*
 It would take u like 100 years to major in everything
 Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the
 campus Cryptid and Mascoft
 Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that
 believes in ethical subjectivism and they'll make u so angry u forget
 abt whatever the fuck was bothering u
 College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over
 classical literature
 *
 e
 *
 iterally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that alway:s
 has qum and a stapler
 If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English
 major
 Allergic to crosses? Cool. So r certain stem majors.
 e
 *
College Vampires

College Vampires

Chicago, College, and Dank: Got denied from harvard s March 2015 2.8 HARVARD COLLEGK Office of Admissions and Financial Aid Molly McGaan 330 W. Webster Ave Chicago, Il 60614 Dear Ms. McGaan: Thank you for your interest in Harvard College. After careful consideration of your application, I am sorry to inform you that we are unable to offer you a place in the class of 2019. This year's application pool was the strongest in the College's history, and we are unable to offer admission to every student, regardless of their proficiency in "dank memes", or their level of "Swagg moneyyyy." Although your GPA and ACT scores were certainly up to our standards, your essays raised some eyebrows at the admissions meetings. For future reference, it is not wise to start an essay with the words, "listen here u little slanks" and end with "McGaan out "drops mic We also didn't need a copy of your mixtape, regardless of how ire" it is (one admissions counselor actually listened to it, and we are pretty sure 40 minutes of you making animal noises is not fire"). In addition, we will be returning your copy of Grownups 2 signed by Chancellor Angela Merkel, because you said it's your "greatest possession" and we don't want it. We also suggest obtaining recommendation letters from teachers or trusted mentors, not "my #4 side ho Derek" or Chief Kee, who submitted a picture of a dinosaur drawn in crayon on a rolling paper. We greatly appreciate your interest in Harvard, and we offer our best wishes of success as you pursue your educational goals
Chicago, College, and Dank: Got denied from harvard s
 March 2015
 2.8
 HARVARD COLLEGK Office of Admissions and Financial Aid
 Molly McGaan
 330 W. Webster Ave
 Chicago, Il 60614
 Dear Ms. McGaan:
 Thank you for your interest in Harvard College.
 After careful consideration of your application, I am sorry to inform you that we are
 unable to offer you a place in the class of 2019. This year's application pool was the strongest in
 the College's history, and we are unable to offer admission to every student, regardless of their
 proficiency in "dank memes", or their level of "Swagg moneyyyy." Although your GPA and
 ACT scores were certainly up to our standards, your essays raised some eyebrows at the
 admissions meetings. For future reference, it is not wise to start an essay with the words, "listen
 here u little slanks" and end with "McGaan out "drops mic We also didn't need a copy of
 your mixtape, regardless of how ire" it is (one admissions counselor actually listened to it, and
 we are pretty sure 40 minutes of you making animal noises is not fire"). In addition, we will be
 returning your copy of Grownups 2 signed by Chancellor Angela Merkel, because you said it's
 your "greatest possession" and we don't want it. We also suggest obtaining recommendation
 letters from teachers or trusted mentors, not "my #4 side ho Derek" or Chief Kee, who
 submitted a picture of a dinosaur drawn in crayon on a rolling paper.
 We greatly appreciate your interest in Harvard, and we offer our best wishes of success
 as you pursue your educational goals