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Apple, Bless Up, and Drake: Three weeks ago she was at the pound - now she's transformed to Action Pup.! So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on this cold a$$ 12 degree day and my speakers start blasting Miguel, Banana Clip. FAM! I don’t even remember downloading this album! But this joint HARD! 😂 I felt like Miguel lil 5 foot a$$ was next to me serenading me, singing in the passenger seat egging me on go hard at the gym! I was Iike wow this adorable lil munchkin go hard! And then it dawned on me 🤔...5 footers really be going the hardest! 🐛 Kevin Hart - 5 foot. Tom cruise - 5 foot. Shiggy the comedian who invented the drake Kiki dance (DRAaAaAaAake! 😂) - 5 foot. They out there ... ENTERTAINING. Ladies don’t shleep. I know most of u pretty tings got a 6-4 cutoff and I don’t blame y’all! But maybe what u need is a 5 footer who really gon do the most! Serenade u in the shower! Make u laugh! “Smash I’m not tryina hear that, my son in fifth grade already taller than that I can’t bring a man into my house who reach to my son’s chest” BB 👏 GIRL 👏 DO 👏 WHAT 👏 U 👏 FEEL 👏. And by the way, for all you men who only swipe right on short women may I ask you to consider finding yourself a tall drink of water in 2019. I used to talk to a volleyball player who was 6-1 and let me tell you fam she was a sight to behold. Legs so long you could slide down them h0es like a fire pole. Cheeks like beach balls. She was a whole lotta woman! A foot long sub for the price of a six inch famalam! I am telling you, you might not think it’s your thing but u might hecc around and fall in love. “But smash, I’m 5-11 which is really a lie I’m actually 5-7 and three quarter but I say I’m 5-11 - if she 6-1 then in heels she finna be 6-4 fam I’m gon look like her handsome middle school son.” Well bish embrace that! Find you a Mama! Maybe your mama was wiling out when you were growing up and u need a woman to HECC around and spank u. Maybe eem spike you! 🏐 Maybe that’s what you been missing all your life. “smash you really Wilding today.” INDEEDY! Smash simply raising this hypothesis for ya consideration lmao BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 2: @tatertot_thecorgi_)
Apple, Bless Up, and Drake: Three weeks ago she was at the pound - now she's
 transformed to Action Pup.!
So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on this cold a$$ 12 degree day and my speakers start blasting Miguel, Banana Clip. FAM! I don’t even remember downloading this album! But this joint HARD! 😂 I felt like Miguel lil 5 foot a$$ was next to me serenading me, singing in the passenger seat egging me on go hard at the gym! I was Iike wow this adorable lil munchkin go hard! And then it dawned on me 🤔...5 footers really be going the hardest! 🐛 Kevin Hart - 5 foot. Tom cruise - 5 foot. Shiggy the comedian who invented the drake Kiki dance (DRAaAaAaAake! 😂) - 5 foot. They out there ... ENTERTAINING. Ladies don’t shleep. I know most of u pretty tings got a 6-4 cutoff and I don’t blame y’all! But maybe what u need is a 5 footer who really gon do the most! Serenade u in the shower! Make u laugh! “Smash I’m not tryina hear that, my son in fifth grade already taller than that I can’t bring a man into my house who reach to my son’s chest” BB 👏 GIRL 👏 DO 👏 WHAT 👏 U 👏 FEEL 👏. And by the way, for all you men who only swipe right on short women may I ask you to consider finding yourself a tall drink of water in 2019. I used to talk to a volleyball player who was 6-1 and let me tell you fam she was a sight to behold. Legs so long you could slide down them h0es like a fire pole. Cheeks like beach balls. She was a whole lotta woman! A foot long sub for the price of a six inch famalam! I am telling you, you might not think it’s your thing but u might hecc around and fall in love. “But smash, I’m 5-11 which is really a lie I’m actually 5-7 and three quarter but I say I’m 5-11 - if she 6-1 then in heels she finna be 6-4 fam I’m gon look like her handsome middle school son.” Well bish embrace that! Find you a Mama! Maybe your mama was wiling out when you were growing up and u need a woman to HECC around and spank u. Maybe eem spike you! 🏐 Maybe that’s what you been missing all your life. “smash you really Wilding today.” INDEEDY! Smash simply raising this hypothesis for ya consideration lmao BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 2: @tatertot_thecorgi_)

So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on th...

Bill Clinton, Bitch, and Driving: l Verizon 5:49 PM 0 * 42% whats-an-egg / safety-offcer-barto Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney's funniest bit" is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure and I will not stand for it officialqueer The overlooking of "The One Thing You Can't Replace" is a criminal act. jewishdragon LISTEN, I WAS JUST WATCHING JOHN MULANEY AND I RAISE YOU DUCKLINGS! bisexualgambit HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA AIRLINES???? kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd Bill Clinton Never Forgets A Bitch, Ever safety-officer-barto The responses to this post have been so amazing because it's reminded me, and I'm sure many others, of just how many hilarious bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd incendiarysongbird okay, but eighth graders doorstoplord could be a nursery awesomealfry being 12 years old on anotger continent is a great alibi starry-nightengale "Why buy the cow, question mark?" gadgethewolf THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE apartmentofstabs And then. He ordered one black coffee for himself And kept driving spectralbarbhollano LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT FEMININE HIPS silly-slacker-person "We gon play jacks down at the soda fountain" NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU IDIOT Y'know, how you talk to your grandma? ghettoinuyasha hello? HUSH bakvvas Eat assy buck a dick, and bell druugs mellowstarscape THEREISAHORSE LOOSE INTHE HOSTPITAL Source: safety-officer-barto 82,341 notes > anduinsholydick Tailor Automatic Screenshot Stitching I’m sorry but there is a Norwegian cruise liner leaving for Martinique and my plan is we both get very dressed up, including hats
Bill Clinton, Bitch, and Driving: l Verizon
 5:49 PM
 0 * 42%
 whats-an-egg
 /
 safety-offcer-barto
 Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney's
 funniest bit" is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure
 and I will not stand for it
 officialqueer
 The overlooking of "The One Thing You Can't
 Replace" is a criminal act.
 jewishdragon
 LISTEN, I WAS JUST WATCHING JOHN
 MULANEY AND I RAISE YOU
 DUCKLINGS!
 bisexualgambit
 HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA
 AIRLINES????
 kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd
 Bill Clinton Never
 Forgets A Bitch, Ever
 safety-officer-barto
 The responses to this post have been so
 amazing because it's reminded me, and I'm
 sure many others, of just how many hilarious
 bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd
 incendiarysongbird
 okay, but eighth graders
 doorstoplord
 could be a nursery
 awesomealfry
 being 12 years old on anotger continent is a
 great alibi
 starry-nightengale
 "Why buy the cow, question mark?"
 gadgethewolf
 THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE
 apartmentofstabs
 And then. He ordered one black coffee for
 himself
 And kept driving
 spectralbarbhollano
 LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT
 FEMININE HIPS
 silly-slacker-person
 "We gon play jacks down at the soda fountain"
 NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE TALKING
 ABOUT YOU IDIOT
 Y'know, how you talk to your grandma?
 ghettoinuyasha
 hello? HUSH
 bakvvas
 Eat assy buck a dick,
 and bell druugs
 mellowstarscape
 THEREISAHORSE
 LOOSE
 INTHE
 HOSTPITAL
 Source: safety-officer-barto
 82,341 notes >
 anduinsholydick
 Tailor
 Automatic Screenshot Stitching
I’m sorry but there is a Norwegian cruise liner leaving for Martinique and my plan is we both get very dressed up, including hats

I’m sorry but there is a Norwegian cruise liner leaving for Martinique and my plan is we both get very dressed up, including hats