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Advice, Django, and Facebook: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset=utf-8"); *This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. *I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing *using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT *stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. *Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to *correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: *Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it *in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. *Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world * and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error_reporting (E_ALL) ; ini_set("display_errors",true); print('<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF - 8 " ?>'."\n") ; ?> I’m getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.
Advice, Django, and Facebook: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset=utf-8");
 *This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code.
 *I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I
 assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons
 I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing
 *using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried
 by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army
 of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS.
 The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT
 *stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for
 different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I
 bet they have mismatches somewhere.
 *Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided
 to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to
 *correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with
 this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally
 given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing
 this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for
 asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a
 manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice:
 *Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it
 *in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a
 relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment.
 *Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world
 * and hope it will be enough.
 Farewell.
 error_reporting (E_ALL) ;
 ini_set("display_errors",true);
 print('<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF - 8 " ?>'."\n") ; ?>
I’m getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.

I’m getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.

College, Food, and My House: Am I the Asshole? Follow @AITA_reddit AITA for putting my penis in peanut leaving it in the butter and kitchen? bit.ly/2OAODPN my roommates tells me yesterday 'oh by the me of your peanut butter". He sees my visibly ed reaction and asks what's up, so ultimately about the whole deal. He's furious and says ck would you put it back in the kitchen". I femi mouse situation and our policy not to have ot e's labelled foods. This is the first time all year pody has had my labelled food and informed he fact. He said it was just some peanut butte ead, it's not like he was taking full chicken bre me. AITA for putting my penis in peanut butter and leaving it in the kitchen? u/PeanutButterDilemma 15h I'm looking for some assistance determining whether I am the asshole in this situation that has divided our house into two groups. I (20M) am a college student living with four other guys my age. It's our second year living together, and last year we had an issue with people eating food that isn't theirs, so now we have a strict "label your stuff and only eat things with your name on it' policy. use is split 3:2 on who is in the wrong, and it's g over into other aspects of our living situatio o get over this pronto so l am asking... AITA? We have sort of divvied up cupboards, so it w h'my" space. It wasn't in a communal cupboa My girlfriend and T like to get a bit frisky in the bedroom, and a few nights ago I dipped my penis in peanut butter and she licked it off. Yes, I understand that it is slightly bizarre, but that's how we roll. The controversy is that since we have a mouse problem I did not want to leave the peanut butter in my bedroom, so afterwards I closed it and returned it to my kitchen cupboard. Note that it had a hune PeanutButterDilemma label on it so it was clear 4:23 AM - 30 Nov 2019 1,799 Retweets 15,151 Likes r/AmltheAsshole AITA for putting and leaving it in the kitchen? ΑΙΤΑ my penis in peanut butter u/PeanutButterDilemma 15h I'm looking for some assistance determining whether I am the asshole in this situation that has divided our house into two groups. | (20M) am a college student living with four other guys my age. It's our second year living together, and last year we had an issue with people eating food that isn't theirs, so now we have a strict "label your stuff and only eat things with your name on it" policy. My girlfriend and I like to get a bit frisky in the bedroom, and a few nights ago I dipped my penis in peanut butter and she licked it off. Yes, I understand that it is slightly bizarre, but that's how we roll. The controversy is that since we have a mouse problem l did not want to leave the peanut butter in my bedroom, so afterwards I closed it and returned it to my kitchen cupboard. Note that it had a huge "PeanutButterDilemma" label on it, so it was clear that it belonged to me. One of my roommates tells me yesterday "oh by the way, I had some of your peanut butter". He sees my visibly shocked reaction and asks what's up, so ultimately I come clean about the whole deal. He's furious and says "why the fuck would you put it back in the kitchen". I remind him of the mouse situation and our policy not to have other people's labelled foods. This is the first time all year that somebody has had my labelled food and informed me after the fact. He said it was just some peanut butter on his bread, it's not like he was taking full chicken breasts from me. My house is split 3:2 on who is in the wrong, and it's spilling over into other aspects of our living situation. We need to get over this pronto so l am asking.. AITA? INFO: We have sort of divvied up cupboards, so it was kept in "my" space. It wasn't in a communal cupboard Laura Shortridge-Scott jingles ... Follow @DiscordianKitty Never thought I'd say this but I'm on peanut butter penis guy's side here Am I the Asshole? @AITA_reddit gtisteche AITA for putting my penis in peanut butter and leaving it in the kitchen? bit.ly/20AO D PN dny la wj s g ul Show this thread il n f deedeag 9:06 AM - 30 Nov 2019 36,496 Retweets 170,135 Likes finalfortuna: gahdamnpunk:This was a ride ⚰️⚰️ THIS is why you don’t eat other people’s food
College, Food, and My House: Am I the Asshole?
 Follow
 @AITA_reddit
 AITA for putting my penis in peanut
 leaving it in the
 butter and
 kitchen?
 bit.ly/2OAODPN
 my roommates tells me yesterday 'oh by the
 me of your peanut butter". He sees my visibly
 ed reaction and asks what's up, so ultimately
 about the whole deal. He's furious and says
 ck would you put it back in the kitchen". I femi
 mouse situation and our policy not to have ot
 e's labelled foods. This is the first time all year
 pody has had my labelled food and informed
 he fact. He said it was just some peanut butte
 ead, it's not like he was taking full chicken bre
 me.
 AITA for putting my penis in peanut butter
 and leaving it in the kitchen?
 u/PeanutButterDilemma 15h
 I'm looking for some assistance determining whether I am
 the asshole in this situation that has divided our house
 into two groups.
 I (20M) am a college student living with four other guys
 my age. It's our second year living together, and last year
 we had an issue with people eating food that isn't theirs,
 so now we have a strict "label your stuff and only eat
 things with your name on it' policy.
 use is split 3:2 on who is in the wrong, and it's
 g over into other aspects of our living situatio
 o get over this pronto so l am asking... AITA?
 We have sort of divvied up cupboards, so it w
 h'my" space. It wasn't in a communal cupboa
 My girlfriend and T like to get a bit frisky in the bedroom,
 and a few nights ago I dipped my penis in peanut butter
 and she licked it off. Yes, I understand that it is slightly
 bizarre, but that's how we roll. The controversy is that
 since we have a mouse problem I did not want to leave
 the peanut butter in my bedroom, so afterwards I closed it
 and returned it to my kitchen cupboard. Note that it had a
 hune PeanutButterDilemma label on it so it was clear
 4:23 AM - 30 Nov 2019
 1,799 Retweets 15,151 Likes

 r/AmltheAsshole
 AITA for putting
 and leaving it in the kitchen?
 ΑΙΤΑ
 my penis in peanut butter
 u/PeanutButterDilemma 15h
 I'm looking for some assistance determining whether I am
 the asshole in this situation that has divided our house
 into two groups.
 | (20M) am a college student living with four other guys
 my age. It's our second year living together, and last year
 we had an issue with people eating food that isn't theirs,
 so now we have a strict "label your stuff and only eat
 things with your name on it" policy.
 My girlfriend and I like to get a bit frisky in the bedroom,
 and a few nights ago I dipped my penis in peanut butter
 and she licked it off. Yes, I understand that it is slightly
 bizarre, but that's how we roll. The controversy is that
 since we have a mouse problem l did not want to leave
 the peanut butter in my bedroom, so afterwards I closed it
 and returned it to my kitchen cupboard. Note that it had a
 huge "PeanutButterDilemma" label on it, so it was clear
 that it belonged to me.

 One of my roommates tells me yesterday "oh by the way, I
 had some of your peanut butter". He sees my visibly
 shocked reaction and asks what's up, so ultimately I come
 clean about the whole deal. He's furious and says "why
 the fuck would you put it back in the kitchen". I remind him
 of the mouse situation and our policy not to have other
 people's labelled foods. This is the first time all year that
 somebody has had my labelled food and informed me
 after the fact. He said it was just some peanut butter on
 his bread, it's not like he was taking full chicken breasts
 from me.
 My house is split 3:2 on who is in the wrong, and it's
 spilling over into other aspects of our living situation. We
 need to get over this pronto so l am asking.. AITA?
 INFO: We have sort of divvied up cupboards, so it was
 kept in "my" space. It wasn't in a communal cupboard

 Laura Shortridge-Scott jingles ...
 Follow
 @DiscordianKitty
 Never thought I'd say this but I'm on
 peanut butter penis guy's
 side here
 Am I the Asshole? @AITA_reddit
 gtisteche
 AITA for putting my penis in peanut butter and leaving it
 in the kitchen? bit.ly/20AO D PN
 dny la
 wj
 s g ul
 Show this thread
 il
 n
 f deedeag
 9:06 AM - 30 Nov 2019
 36,496 Retweets 170,135 Likes
finalfortuna:

gahdamnpunk:This was a ride ⚰️⚰️
THIS is why you don’t eat other people’s food

finalfortuna: gahdamnpunk:This was a ride ⚰️⚰️ THIS is why you don’t eat other people’s food

Bad, Children, and Christmas: Karen Green Target 57 minutes ago I just saw your ad and I will never be able to spend money at your store again!! One man, one woman for life, thus saith the Lord!!! Like Comment Angela Concepcion about an hour ago Target I just saw your ad for gay couples marrying to register with you. I have also experienced an extraordinary wait in line when a Muslim cashier would not handle pork and someone had to cash her out, cash in and resume the order. However, you will not allow your customers to say Merry Christmas and you do not carry nativity creches. I will never shop in Target again and I will encourage friends and family to do the same. When you can give equal respects to all of your customers, then maybe many of us will be back. Till then, I will spend my money elsewhere. Like Comment Chet Stanger Target 3 hours ago With your advertisement for homosexual bridal registry, you've lost a card carrying shopper. It's one thing to expose adults to such debauchery, but it's quite another to expose children to it. Les Powell 3 hours ago X Target Well Target you lost all my business and I am sure alot more when my friends see this... ADVERTISEMENT that's love BE YOURSELF TOGETHER. whatdoyoumeanihavetochoose: thetrashmouthclub: somethingmissingthiswaycomes: vision-rights: subject-to-my-fandoms: tehrogue: norsegays: astrolope: People being angry about ~dem gays~ on Target’s Facebook. I just want to give my two cents on this and tell you a story. A couple weeks ago, I was hired at Target. I have a job at Target. Not a big deal right? It is a big deal because i’m a transman.  It doesn’t take a genius to conclude that it’s hard for me, my brothers, and sisters to get a job. There are legal restraints regarding the job and if you don’t pass, it’s hard to be taken seriously at a job interview. Right on the application, it asks what your preferred name is. It also asks if there is anything that target should know. I put the fact that I am a transman, expecting not to get a call because usually when you put that down, people will throw out the application. I got TWO interviews. At the interview, they asked me about it. I told them I am on hormones and they told me that they didn’t care. Not in the sense that they don’t emotionally care, but that it didn’t matter. I was male and that’s all that mattered. They also told me that they give sex same couples benefits in states that do not recognize them as a married couple. At my job orientation, I was not misgendered once. Even my supervisors who weren’t sure of my gender avoided pronoun use, which I found only happens when you’ve had pronoun training. They gave me a name tag with my preferred name and didn’t ask questions. I felt safe and respected, which is huge for a trans* person. TLDR: Target is amazing not just for the LGB, but also the T. Shop there for the rest of your life. people didnt know how Pro-LGBT Target is. I will always shop there Looks like I’m going to target. Real men shop at target All corporations are bad but now I’m considering applying to Target. “when you can give equal respects for all of your costumers, then maybe many of us will be back” ma'am………. that’s exactly what they’re doing At target you can order a special name tag from HR with your pronouns on it! Officially printed on there and everything!!!!! Target just got +1000000 respect
Bad, Children, and Christmas: Karen Green Target
 57 minutes ago
 I just saw your ad and I will never be able to spend money at
 your store again!! One man, one woman for life, thus saith the
 Lord!!!
 Like Comment

 Angela Concepcion
 about an hour ago
 Target
 I just saw your ad for gay couples marrying to register with you. I
 have also experienced an extraordinary wait in line when a
 Muslim cashier would not handle pork and someone had to cash
 her out, cash in and resume the order. However, you will not
 allow your customers to say Merry Christmas and you do not
 carry nativity creches. I will never shop in Target again and I will
 encourage friends and family to do the same. When you can give
 equal respects to all of your customers, then maybe many of us
 will be back. Till then, I will spend my money elsewhere.
 Like Comment

 Chet Stanger Target
 3 hours ago
 With your advertisement for homosexual bridal registry, you've
 lost a card carrying shopper. It's one thing to expose adults to
 such debauchery, but it's quite another to expose children to it.

 Les Powell
 3 hours ago
 X
 Target
 Well Target you lost all my business and I am sure alot more
 when my friends see this...
 ADVERTISEMENT
 that's love
 BE YOURSELF
 TOGETHER.
whatdoyoumeanihavetochoose:

thetrashmouthclub:
somethingmissingthiswaycomes:

vision-rights:

subject-to-my-fandoms:

tehrogue:

norsegays:

astrolope:

People being angry about ~dem gays~ on Target’s Facebook.

I just want to give my two cents on this and tell you a story.
A couple weeks ago, I was hired at Target. I have a job at Target. Not a big deal right?
It is a big deal because i’m a transman. 
It doesn’t take a genius to conclude that it’s hard for me, my brothers, and sisters to get a job. There are legal restraints regarding the job and if you don’t pass, it’s hard to be taken seriously at a job interview.
Right on the application, it asks what your preferred name is. It also asks if there is anything that target should know. I put the fact that I am a transman, expecting not to get a call because usually when you put that down, people will throw out the application. I got TWO interviews.
At the interview, they asked me about it. I told them I am on hormones and they told me that they didn’t care. Not in the sense that they don’t emotionally care, but that it didn’t matter. I was male and that’s all that mattered. They also told me that they give sex same couples benefits in states that do not recognize them as a married couple.
At my job orientation, I was not misgendered once. Even my supervisors who weren’t sure of my gender avoided pronoun use, which I found only happens when you’ve had pronoun training. They gave me a name tag with my preferred name and didn’t ask questions. I felt safe and respected, which is huge for a trans* person.
TLDR: Target is amazing not just for the LGB, but also the T. Shop there for the rest of your life.

people didnt know how Pro-LGBT Target is. I will always shop there


Looks like I’m going to target. 


Real men shop at target


All corporations are bad but now I’m considering applying to Target. 


“when you can give equal respects for all of your costumers, then maybe many of us will be back” ma'am………. that’s exactly what they’re doing


At target you can order a special name tag from HR with your pronouns on it! Officially printed on there and everything!!!!!

Target just got +1000000 respect

whatdoyoumeanihavetochoose: thetrashmouthclub: somethingmissingthiswaycomes: vision-rights: subject-to-my-fandoms: tehrogue: norsegays:...

Children, Christmas, and Facebook: Karen Green Target 57 minutes ago I just saw your ad and I will never be able to spend money at your store again!! One man, one woman for life, thus saith the Lord!!! Like Comment Angela Concepcion about an hour ago Target I just saw your ad for gay couples marrying to register with you. I have also experienced an extraordinary wait in line when a Muslim cashier would not handle pork and someone had to cash her out, cash in and resume the order. However, you will not allow your customers to say Merry Christmas and you do not carry nativity creches. I will never shop in Target again and I will encourage friends and family to do the same. When you can give equal respects to all of your customers, then maybe many of us will be back. Till then, I will spend my money elsewhere. Like Comment Chet Stanger Target 3 hours ago With your advertisement for homosexual bridal registry, you've lost a card carrying shopper. It's one thing to expose adults to such debauchery, but it's quite another to expose children to it. Les Powell 3 hours ago X Target Well Target you lost all my business and I am sure alot more when my friends see this... ADVERTISEMENT that's love BE YOURSELF TOGETHER. vision-rights: subject-to-my-fandoms: tehrogue: norsegays: astrolope: People being angry about ~dem gays~ on Target’s Facebook. I just want to give my two cents on this and tell you a story. A couple weeks ago, I was hired at Target. I have a job at Target. Not a big deal right? It is a big deal because i’m a transman.  It doesn’t take a genius to conclude that it’s hard for me, my brothers, and sisters to get a job. There are legal restraints regarding the job and if you don’t pass, it’s hard to be taken seriously at a job interview. Right on the application, it asks what your preferred name is. It also asks if there is anything that target should know. I put the fact that I am a transman, expecting not to get a call because usually when you put that down, people will throw out the application. I got TWO interviews. At the interview, they asked me about it. I told them I am on hormones and they told me that they didn’t care. Not in the sense that they don’t emotionally care, but that it didn’t matter. I was male and that’s all that mattered. They also told me that they give sex same couples benefits in states that do not recognize them as a married couple. At my job orientation, I was not misgendered once. Even my supervisors who weren’t sure of my gender avoided pronoun use, which I found only happens when you’ve had pronoun training. They gave me a name tag with my preferred name and didn’t ask questions. I felt safe and respected, which is huge for a trans* person. TLDR: Target is amazing not just for the LGB, but also the T. Shop there for the rest of your life. people didnt know how Pro-LGBT Target is. I will always shop there Looks like I’m going to target. Real men shop at target
Children, Christmas, and Facebook: Karen Green Target
 57 minutes ago
 I just saw your ad and I will never be able to spend money at
 your store again!! One man, one woman for life, thus saith the
 Lord!!!
 Like Comment

 Angela Concepcion
 about an hour ago
 Target
 I just saw your ad for gay couples marrying to register with you. I
 have also experienced an extraordinary wait in line when a
 Muslim cashier would not handle pork and someone had to cash
 her out, cash in and resume the order. However, you will not
 allow your customers to say Merry Christmas and you do not
 carry nativity creches. I will never shop in Target again and I will
 encourage friends and family to do the same. When you can give
 equal respects to all of your customers, then maybe many of us
 will be back. Till then, I will spend my money elsewhere.
 Like Comment

 Chet Stanger Target
 3 hours ago
 With your advertisement for homosexual bridal registry, you've
 lost a card carrying shopper. It's one thing to expose adults to
 such debauchery, but it's quite another to expose children to it.

 Les Powell
 3 hours ago
 X
 Target
 Well Target you lost all my business and I am sure alot more
 when my friends see this...
 ADVERTISEMENT
 that's love
 BE YOURSELF
 TOGETHER.
vision-rights:
subject-to-my-fandoms:

tehrogue:

norsegays:

astrolope:

People being angry about ~dem gays~ on Target’s Facebook.

I just want to give my two cents on this and tell you a story.
A couple weeks ago, I was hired at Target. I have a job at Target. Not a big deal right?
It is a big deal because i’m a transman. 
It doesn’t take a genius to conclude that it’s hard for me, my brothers, and sisters to get a job. There are legal restraints regarding the job and if you don’t pass, it’s hard to be taken seriously at a job interview.
Right on the application, it asks what your preferred name is. It also asks if there is anything that target should know. I put the fact that I am a transman, expecting not to get a call because usually when you put that down, people will throw out the application. I got TWO interviews.
At the interview, they asked me about it. I told them I am on hormones and they told me that they didn’t care. Not in the sense that they don’t emotionally care, but that it didn’t matter. I was male and that’s all that mattered. They also told me that they give sex same couples benefits in states that do not recognize them as a married couple.
At my job orientation, I was not misgendered once. Even my supervisors who weren’t sure of my gender avoided pronoun use, which I found only happens when you’ve had pronoun training. They gave me a name tag with my preferred name and didn’t ask questions. I felt safe and respected, which is huge for a trans* person.
TLDR: Target is amazing not just for the LGB, but also the T. Shop there for the rest of your life.

people didnt know how Pro-LGBT Target is. I will always shop there


Looks like I’m going to target. 


Real men shop at target

vision-rights: subject-to-my-fandoms: tehrogue: norsegays: astrolope: People being angry about ~dem gays~ on Target’s Facebook. I just ...

A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

Burger King, Clothes, and Food: Burger King Worker DENMARK UNITED STATES S20 an hour 5Weeks paid vacation Pension Plarn Doesn't have to struggle to get by. $9an hour No paid vacation No Pension Plan Has to choose between buying food or clothes. fightfor15.org fb.com/fightfor151@fightfor15 iopele: queerspeculativefiction: heidiblack: pillowswithboners: luchagcaileag: This isn’t because Burger King is nicer in Denmark. It’s the law, and the US is actually the only so-called “developed” country that doesn’t mandate jobs provide a minimum amount of paid vacation, sick leave, or both. kinda debunks that claim that they can’t afford to pay their workers those sort of wages and still make a profit Its corporate greed, plain and simple. It is the same in Sweden. It is so funny every time an american company opens up offices here and then tries to do it the american way and all the unions go “I don’t think so”. Like when Toys ‘r Us opened in sweden 1995. They refused to sign on to the union deals that govern such things as pay/pension and vacation in Sweden. Most of our rights are not mandated by law (we don’t have a minimum wage for example) but are made in voluntary agreements between the unions and the companies. But they refused, saying that they had never negotiated with any unions anywhere else in the world and weren’t planning to do it in Sweden either.  Of course a lot of people thought it was useless fighting against an international giant, but Handels (the store worker’s union) said that they could not budge, because that might mean that the whole Swedish model might crumble. So they went on strike in the three stores that the company had opened so far. Cue a shitstorm from the press, and from right wing politicians. But the members were all for it, and other unions started doing sympathy actions. The teamsters refused to deliver goods to their stores, the financial unions blockaded all economical transactions regarding Toys ‘r Us and the strike got strong international support as well, especially in the US. In the end, Toys ‘r Us caved in, signed the union deal, and thus their employees got the same treatment as Swedish store workers everywhere. The right to be treated as bloody human beings and not disposable cogs in a machine. and that story right there? is exactly why Republicans in the US work so hard to bust unions. it’s because unionizing WORKS and they’re terrified of workers actually having some power.
Burger King, Clothes, and Food: Burger King Worker
 DENMARK UNITED STATES
 S20 an hour
 5Weeks paid vacation
 Pension Plarn
 Doesn't have to struggle
 to get by.
 $9an hour
 No paid vacation
 No Pension Plan
 Has to choose between
 buying food or clothes.
 fightfor15.org fb.com/fightfor151@fightfor15
iopele:

queerspeculativefiction:

heidiblack:

pillowswithboners:

luchagcaileag:

This isn’t because Burger King is nicer in Denmark. It’s the law, and the US is actually the only so-called “developed” country that doesn’t mandate jobs provide a minimum amount of paid vacation, sick leave, or both.

kinda debunks that claim that they can’t afford to pay their workers those sort of wages and still make a profit

Its corporate greed, plain and simple.

It is the same in Sweden. It is so funny every time an american company opens up offices here and then tries to do it the american way and all the unions go “I don’t think so”.
Like when Toys ‘r Us opened in sweden 1995.
They refused to sign on to the union deals that govern such things as pay/pension and vacation in Sweden. Most of our rights are not mandated by law (we don’t have a minimum wage for example) but are made in voluntary agreements between the unions and the companies.
But they refused, saying that they had never negotiated with any unions anywhere else in the world and weren’t planning to do it in Sweden either. 
Of course a lot of people thought it was useless fighting against an international giant, but Handels (the store worker’s union) said that they could not budge, because that might mean that the whole Swedish model might crumble. So they went on strike in the three stores that the company had opened so far.
Cue a shitstorm from the press, and from right wing politicians. But the members were all for it, and other unions started doing sympathy actions. The teamsters refused to deliver goods to their stores, the financial unions blockaded all economical transactions regarding Toys ‘r Us and the strike got strong international support as well, especially in the US.
In the end, Toys ‘r Us caved in, signed the union deal, and thus their employees got the same treatment as Swedish store workers everywhere.
The right to be treated as bloody human beings and not disposable cogs in a machine.


and that story right there? is exactly why Republicans in the US work so hard to bust unions. it’s because unionizing WORKS and they’re terrified of workers actually having some power.

iopele: queerspeculativefiction: heidiblack: pillowswithboners: luchagcaileag: This isn’t because Burger King is nicer in Denmark. It’s...

Africa, Amazon, and Children: The Ladies Finger THE LADIES Follow FINGER heLadiesFinger They're calling this 23-year-old novelist the next J.K. Rowling RETWEETS LIKES Seadimo Follow ] @SeadimoTlale Tomi Adeyemi. Say her name! Shes 23. Shes Black. Woman. Harvard. Shes got a 7 figure contract and movie deal for a book that's not even out! The Ladies Finger@TheLadiesFinger They're calling this 23-year-old novelist the next J.K. Rowling theladiesfinger.com/tomi-adeyemi/ RETWEETS LIKES 8,1819,104 dkafterdark: sunshinepeonies: kendrawriter: nevaehtyler: “Her fantasy novel Children of Blood and Bone, the first of a trilogy about a young girl’s battle with a prince over bringing magic back to West Africa,  is going to be released some time next year. But it’s already got a seven-figure publishing deal with Macmillan, and a massive deal with Fox Studios too, with the latter acquiring the movie rights pretty early on in the day for a book that hasn’t even been published yet.” Source (x) OH MY GOD MY SOUL JUST LEFT MY BODY. GOOD FOR HER! AND I CANNTO WAIT TO READ THESE! And you know what, all this does is inspire me. If she can do it, I can do it. We can do it.  I don’t know if it’s because I have Prime BUT the Kindle version was free for me just now (Jan. 9, 2018). GO CHECK IT OUT!! The first six chapters are available for free as a sneak peek from Amazon
Africa, Amazon, and Children: The Ladies Finger
 THE
 LADIES
 Follow
 FINGER heLadiesFinger
 They're calling this 23-year-old novelist the
 next J.K. Rowling
 RETWEETS
 LIKES

 Seadimo
 Follow
 ] @SeadimoTlale
 Tomi Adeyemi. Say her name! Shes 23. Shes
 Black. Woman. Harvard. Shes got a 7 figure
 contract and movie deal for a book that's not
 even out!
 The Ladies Finger@TheLadiesFinger
 They're calling this 23-year-old novelist the next J.K. Rowling
 theladiesfinger.com/tomi-adeyemi/
 RETWEETS
 LIKES
 8,1819,104
dkafterdark:
sunshinepeonies:

kendrawriter:

nevaehtyler:



“Her fantasy novel Children of Blood and Bone, the first of a trilogy about a young girl’s battle with a prince over bringing magic back to West Africa,  is going to be released some time next year. But it’s already got a seven-figure publishing deal with Macmillan, and a massive deal with Fox Studios too, with the latter acquiring the movie rights pretty early on in the day for a book that hasn’t even been published yet.”
Source (x)

OH MY GOD MY SOUL JUST LEFT MY BODY. GOOD FOR HER! AND I CANNTO WAIT TO READ THESE!
And you know what, all this does is inspire me. If she can do it, I can do it. We can do it. 

I don’t know if it’s because I have Prime BUT the Kindle version was free for me just now (Jan. 9, 2018). GO CHECK IT OUT!!


The first six chapters are available for free as a sneak peek from Amazon

dkafterdark: sunshinepeonies: kendrawriter: nevaehtyler: “Her fantasy novel Children of Blood and Bone, the first of a trilogy about a ...

Advice, Charmander, and God: Tweet t Roger DiLuigi III retweeted Wallid Kanaan 00 @Balrog TheMaster Twitch Plays XY was able to successfully Wonder Trade and got an Omanyte called Lady Helix. HOW Misickf71 20,131 Twitch Plays Pokemon 2014-07-27 07:03:23 UTC Stream delay:30s Haloelite2 Thundernind5700 Broadswordnast ar Hquaticsmore5 Dragoonxd aichu Jirachinoe LADY HELIX Lv.1 R240,140 80,150 A 300,234 ??? Omanyte 12/12 DEX NO. НР ATTACK 6 Nanashi yanabiko Me10atta Czarwona.latarni a BX BХ DEFENSE 6 AOEK WATER 293, 124 SP. ATK 7 Rkjhouopc 123 A SP. DEF 6 MOVES LEARNED SPEED 6 Constrict NATURE Mild Withdraw ABILITY Shell Armor None ITEM Od3h03n23s Badges: 0 Last save: 4n ago Last party display update: 42s ago NO W OMRSQ LADY HELD Continue operations? AWA Report Problem atma-starfish: commandtower-solring-go: dpdchxkenpachi: commandtower-solring-go: dpdchxkenpachi: swan2swan: skeletim: precumming: Wtf… holy SHIT Do not doubt a god. I don’t get it The original Twitch plays pokemon was a Twitch based event from a few years back where users of the Twitch Chat could submit button presses based on the layout of an old Game Boy to play Pokemon Red. Eventually they did manage to beat the game. But along the way it had sparked a huge following and somehow developed it’s own lore based on the pokemon caught and the names they were given. However, at Mount Moon, Twitch decided to take the Helix Fossil, an item that could be used to acquire an Omanyte later in the game.  Due to the nature of the system, a lot of the time the character just would walk around in circles for hours on end, and one thing that would happen constantly would be that they would open their item menu and try to ‘use’ the Helix Fossil. Since the item had no function, people adopted the idea that they were ‘consulting’ the Helix Fossil for advice, and that it was their lord and saviour. What makes this Lady Helix so incredible is that, there was an incredibly small chance that they would get to Wonder Trade. And knowing wonder trade, the pokemon you’ll get in return is impossible to predetermine. So for not only them to get an Omanyte, is amazing. But the fact that that Omanyte references explicitly the events of he previous TPP, is nuts  I knew that Twitch plays Pokémon was wild I had no idea that the lore ran this deep. Haha that’s amazing Oh it gets way better. Due to the random arse nicknames the pokemon got, they adopted monikers to go with it. I’ll run through a couple ABBBBBBBK( was the starter pokemon, Charmander and was nicknamed Abby. However was released. JLVWNNOOOO was the player’s Ratata, nicknamed Jay Leno. It was released with Abby, following due to loyalty aaabaaajss was the TPP Pidgeot, the strongest pkemon on the team, and was chosen by the Helix Fossile. It was nicknamed Bird Jesus.  Eevee the false prophet, sent by the Dome Fossil. Evolved into Flareon and was released AATTVVV was the team’s Venomoth, lovingly nicknamed the All Terrain Venomoth. One of the final party. AA-j was the team’s Zapdos, caught with a masterball and was dubbed Battery Jesus. however, he was a false prophet. Only a short time after it’s capture on the 11th day were a great deal of pokemon were released. It did, however, make it to the end of the game. AAAAAAAAAA or also known as The Fonz was also one of the last members in the party. A Nidoking that helped leave the team to victory. I only saw a little bit of the actual stream, but I followed the whole thing. it was amazing.  i want to point out that All Terrain Venomoth was horrendously underleveled and managed to take down one of Lance’s Dragonites
Advice, Charmander, and God: Tweet
 t Roger DiLuigi III retweeted
 Wallid Kanaan
 00
 @Balrog TheMaster
 Twitch Plays XY was able to
 successfully Wonder Trade and got an
 Omanyte called Lady Helix.
 HOW
 Misickf71
 20,131
 Twitch Plays Pokemon 2014-07-27 07:03:23 UTC
 Stream delay:30s
 Haloelite2
 Thundernind5700
 Broadswordnast ar
 Hquaticsmore5
 Dragoonxd
 aichu
 Jirachinoe
 LADY HELIX
 Lv.1
 R240,140
 80,150
 A
 300,234
 ??? Omanyte
 12/12
 DEX NO.
 НР
 ATTACK
 6
 Nanashi yanabiko
 Me10atta
 Czarwona.latarni a
 BX
 BХ
 DEFENSE
 6
 AOEK WATER
 293, 124
 SP. ATK
 7
 Rkjhouopc 123
 A
 SP. DEF
 6
 MOVES LEARNED
 SPEED
 6
 Constrict
 NATURE
 Mild
 Withdraw
 ABILITY
 Shell Armor
 None
 ITEM
 Od3h03n23s
 Badges: 0
 Last save: 4n ago
 Last party display update: 42s ago
 NO
 W OMRSQ
 LADY HELD
 Continue operations?
 AWA
 Report Problem
atma-starfish:

commandtower-solring-go:

dpdchxkenpachi:

commandtower-solring-go:


dpdchxkenpachi:

swan2swan:

skeletim:

precumming:

Wtf…

holy SHIT

Do not doubt a god.


I don’t get it

The original Twitch plays pokemon was a Twitch based event from a few years back where users of the Twitch Chat could submit button presses based on the layout of an old Game Boy to play Pokemon Red.
Eventually they did manage to beat the game. But along the way it had sparked a huge following and somehow developed it’s own lore based on the pokemon caught and the names they were given. However, at Mount Moon, Twitch decided to take the Helix Fossil, an item that could be used to acquire an Omanyte later in the game. 
Due to the nature of the system, a lot of the time the character just would walk around in circles for hours on end, and one thing that would happen constantly would be that they would open their item menu and try to ‘use’ the Helix Fossil. Since the item had no function, people adopted the idea that they were ‘consulting’ the Helix Fossil for advice, and that it was their lord and saviour.
What makes this Lady Helix so incredible is that, there was an incredibly small chance that they would get to Wonder Trade. And knowing wonder trade, the pokemon you’ll get in return is impossible to predetermine. So for not only them to get an Omanyte, is amazing. But the fact that that Omanyte references explicitly the events of he previous TPP, is nuts 


I knew that Twitch plays Pokémon was wild I had no idea that the lore ran this deep. Haha that’s amazing

Oh it gets way better. Due to the random arse nicknames the pokemon got, they adopted monikers to go with it. I’ll run through a couple
ABBBBBBBK( was the starter pokemon, Charmander and was nicknamed Abby. However was released.
JLVWNNOOOO was the player’s Ratata, nicknamed Jay Leno. It was released with Abby, following due to loyalty
aaabaaajss was the TPP Pidgeot, the strongest pkemon on the team, and was chosen by the Helix Fossile. It was nicknamed Bird Jesus. 
Eevee the false prophet, sent by the Dome Fossil. Evolved into Flareon and was released
AATTVVV was the team’s Venomoth, lovingly nicknamed the All Terrain Venomoth. One of the final party.
AA-j was the team’s Zapdos, caught with a masterball and was dubbed Battery Jesus. however, he was a false prophet. Only a short time after it’s capture on the 11th day were a great deal of pokemon were released. It did, however, make it to the end of the game.
AAAAAAAAAA or also known as The Fonz was also one of the last members in the party. A Nidoking that helped leave the team to victory.
I only saw a little bit of the actual stream, but I followed the whole thing. it was amazing. 

i want to point out that All Terrain Venomoth was horrendously underleveled and managed to take down one of Lance’s Dragonites

atma-starfish: commandtower-solring-go: dpdchxkenpachi: commandtower-solring-go: dpdchxkenpachi: swan2swan: skeletim: precumming: W...

Bad, Doctor, and Energy: WHAT'S YOUR PERSONALITY? I am SUN, and MOON is what makes me feel emotionally happy, but I express myself in MERCURY way. When it comes to love, I will be VENUS, but when I get angry, I become MARS. Though people see me as RISING Life systematically challenges me to SATURN. My sense of humour is JUPITER. I'm URANUS when it comes to changes and I have the imagination of NEPTUNE. My secret energy and individual powers are aimed at PLUTO. Oh, and not to forget, I'll be absolutely successful as MIDHEAVEN. My deepest inner self can be compared to DOMINANT PLANET/DOMINANT SIGN. Sun Moon Mercury Venus Mars CHALLENGES Aries A REBEL A DIRECT PASSIONATE AGGRESSIVE A PRACTICAL COMMUNICATION A LIGHTHEARTED A GUARDIAN A MASTERMIND Taurus STABILITY RELIABLE STUBBORN Gemini REASONABLE DESTRUCTIVE Cancer A ROMANTIC CARE A SENTIMENTAL NUTRURING NASTY A RINGLEADER A DRAMATIC PRAISE Leo GENEROUS LOUD Virgo A HEALER SECURITY AΝIMPAΤIENT HELPFUL DISTANT Libra AN ARTIST INDIVIDUALITY A TACTFUL THOUGHTFUL CRITICAL Scorpio AN ENIGMA POWER A PIERCING INTENSE VENGEFUL A WANDERER Sagittarius EXPERIENCES A PLAYFUL FLIRTATIOUS INDIFFERENT Сapricorn AN OWNER AUTHENTICITY A CONCISE PROTECTIVE VIOLENT AN INNOVATOR Aquarius FRIENDSHIP A LOGICAL INTRIGUING SARCASTIC AVAGUE Pisces A DREAMER ART COMPASSIONATE SELFISH Rising Saturn Jupiter Uranus Aries BE TOLERANT THE FIGHTER TEASING ENTHUSIASTIC Taurus THE MASTER LOSE WHAT I LOVE MOST GROSS CAUTIOUS MAKE QUICK DECISIONS Gemini THE CHARMER BONDING-IN-THE-MOMENT FLEXIBLE FACE LONELINESS Cancer THE HELPER PARODIC IMPATIENT SACRIFICE MY DIGNITY THE INDIVIDUALIST Leo HYPERBOLIC PUSHY Virgo THE PENDANT DEAL WITH DISASTERS DARK PASSIVE Libra THE AESTHETE FIGHT IRONIC CURIOUS THE SCEPTIC Scorpio CONTROL MY INSTINCTS DRY DISTRUSTING Sagittarius THE COMEDIAN BE STUCK IN A RUT ANECDOTAL ECCENTRIC Capricorn THE VINTAGE SOUL FACE FAILURE SELF-DEPRECATING ANXIOUS Aquarius THE ADVISER BLEND IN WITTY IMPASSIONAED THE ANGEL FACE OVERWHELMING QUIRKY CULTURAL Pisces UNPREDICTABLE STRESS Neptune Pluto Midheaven Aries A MADCAP SEXUALITY AN ATHLETE A STRATEGIST Taurus IMPROVEMENTS AN ARCHITECT Gemini A SCHIZOPHRENE INTELLECTUALITY A TEACHER/ PROFESSOR A WRITER/ POET Cancer A CHILD EMOTIONAL INTENSITY Leo A POET DOMINATION AN ACTOR/ A FILM DIRECTOR A DOCTOR Virgo A SHAMAN OBSESSIONS Libra A DAYDREAMER RELIGION A DESIGNER A PSYCGIKIGUST Scorpio A MANIAC BLACK MAGIC AN IDEALIST Sagittarius EXPLORATIONS A POLITICIAN A LAWYER / JUDGE Сapricorn AN OCCULTIST ΑMΒΙΤIΟNS Aquarius A VISIONARY MANIPULATION A SCIENTIST Pisces A PROHET INTUITION A MUSICIAN Dominant Sign Dominant Planet Sun (Solarian) Moon (Lunarian) Mercury (Mercurian) Venus (Venusian) Mars (Martian) Jupiter (Jupiterian) Saturn (Saturnian) Uranus (Uranian) Neptune (Neptunian) Pluto (Plutonian) A MAJESTIC LIGHTNING Aries A TENDER Taurus FOREST A FATAL Gemini NORTHERN LIGHT A FASCINATING Cancer SEA HEAT A POWERFUL Leo A CHAOTIC Virgo FOG ΑΝ ANCIΕNT Libra RAINBOW AN IRREPRESSIBLE Scorpio TSUNAMI A WAVERING Sagittarius WILDFIRE A MYSTICAL Сapricorn VOLCANO Aquarius STORM MARSH Pisces superpanda112: I have stumbled upon this post many times and every time it bothered me that you have to scroll a lot to know the words soooo…. I made this in Word, trying to be less cluttered (sorry for bad quality) ORIGINAL POST BY @youstrology 💖
Bad, Doctor, and Energy: WHAT'S YOUR PERSONALITY?
 I am SUN, and MOON is what makes me feel emotionally happy, but I express myself in MERCURY
 way. When it comes to love, I will be VENUS, but when I get angry, I become MARS. Though people
 see me as RISING
 Life systematically challenges me to SATURN. My sense of humour is JUPITER. I'm URANUS when it
 comes to changes and I have the imagination of NEPTUNE. My secret energy and individual powers
 are aimed at PLUTO.
 Oh, and not to forget, I'll be absolutely successful as MIDHEAVEN.
 My deepest inner self can be compared to DOMINANT PLANET/DOMINANT SIGN.

 Sun
 Moon
 Mercury
 Venus
 Mars
 CHALLENGES
 Aries
 A REBEL
 A DIRECT
 PASSIONATE
 AGGRESSIVE
 A PRACTICAL
 COMMUNICATION A LIGHTHEARTED
 A GUARDIAN
 A MASTERMIND
 Taurus
 STABILITY
 RELIABLE
 STUBBORN
 Gemini
 REASONABLE
 DESTRUCTIVE
 Cancer
 A ROMANTIC
 CARE
 A SENTIMENTAL
 NUTRURING
 NASTY
 A RINGLEADER
 A DRAMATIC
 PRAISE
 Leo
 GENEROUS
 LOUD
 Virgo
 A HEALER
 SECURITY
 AΝIMPAΤIENT
 HELPFUL
 DISTANT
 Libra
 AN ARTIST
 INDIVIDUALITY
 A TACTFUL
 THOUGHTFUL
 CRITICAL
 Scorpio
 AN ENIGMA
 POWER
 A PIERCING
 INTENSE
 VENGEFUL
 A WANDERER
 Sagittarius
 EXPERIENCES
 A PLAYFUL
 FLIRTATIOUS
 INDIFFERENT
 Сapricorn
 AN OWNER
 AUTHENTICITY
 A CONCISE
 PROTECTIVE
 VIOLENT
 AN INNOVATOR
 Aquarius
 FRIENDSHIP
 A LOGICAL
 INTRIGUING
 SARCASTIC
 AVAGUE
 Pisces
 A DREAMER
 ART
 COMPASSIONATE
 SELFISH

 Rising
 Saturn
 Jupiter
 Uranus
 Aries
 BE TOLERANT
 THE FIGHTER
 TEASING
 ENTHUSIASTIC
 Taurus
 THE MASTER
 LOSE WHAT I LOVE MOST
 GROSS
 CAUTIOUS
 MAKE QUICK DECISIONS
 Gemini
 THE CHARMER
 BONDING-IN-THE-MOMENT
 FLEXIBLE
 FACE LONELINESS
 Cancer
 THE HELPER
 PARODIC
 IMPATIENT
 SACRIFICE MY DIGNITY
 THE INDIVIDUALIST
 Leo
 HYPERBOLIC
 PUSHY
 Virgo
 THE PENDANT
 DEAL WITH DISASTERS
 DARK
 PASSIVE
 Libra
 THE AESTHETE
 FIGHT
 IRONIC
 CURIOUS
 THE SCEPTIC
 Scorpio
 CONTROL MY INSTINCTS
 DRY
 DISTRUSTING
 Sagittarius
 THE COMEDIAN
 BE STUCK IN A RUT
 ANECDOTAL
 ECCENTRIC
 Capricorn THE VINTAGE SOUL
 FACE FAILURE
 SELF-DEPRECATING
 ANXIOUS
 Aquarius
 THE ADVISER
 BLEND IN
 WITTY
 IMPASSIONAED
 THE ANGEL
 FACE OVERWHELMING
 QUIRKY CULTURAL
 Pisces
 UNPREDICTABLE
 STRESS

 Neptune
 Pluto
 Midheaven
 Aries
 A MADCAP
 SEXUALITY
 AN ATHLETE
 A STRATEGIST
 Taurus
 IMPROVEMENTS
 AN ARCHITECT
 Gemini
 A SCHIZOPHRENE
 INTELLECTUALITY
 A TEACHER/ PROFESSOR
 A WRITER/ POET
 Cancer
 A CHILD
 EMOTIONAL INTENSITY
 Leo
 A POET
 DOMINATION
 AN ACTOR/ A FILM DIRECTOR
 A DOCTOR
 Virgo
 A SHAMAN
 OBSESSIONS
 Libra
 A DAYDREAMER
 RELIGION
 A DESIGNER
 A PSYCGIKIGUST
 Scorpio
 A MANIAC
 BLACK MAGIC
 AN IDEALIST
 Sagittarius
 EXPLORATIONS
 A POLITICIAN
 A LAWYER / JUDGE
 Сapricorn
 AN OCCULTIST
 ΑMΒΙΤIΟNS
 Aquarius
 A VISIONARY
 MANIPULATION
 A SCIENTIST
 Pisces
 A PROHET
 INTUITION
 A MUSICIAN

 Dominant Sign
 Dominant Planet
 Sun (Solarian)
 Moon (Lunarian)
 Mercury (Mercurian)
 Venus (Venusian)
 Mars (Martian)
 Jupiter (Jupiterian)
 Saturn (Saturnian)
 Uranus (Uranian)
 Neptune (Neptunian)
 Pluto (Plutonian)
 A MAJESTIC
 LIGHTNING
 Aries
 A TENDER
 Taurus
 FOREST
 A FATAL
 Gemini
 NORTHERN LIGHT
 A FASCINATING
 Cancer
 SEA
 HEAT
 A POWERFUL
 Leo
 A CHAOTIC
 Virgo
 FOG
 ΑΝ ANCIΕNT
 Libra
 RAINBOW
 AN IRREPRESSIBLE
 Scorpio
 TSUNAMI
 A WAVERING
 Sagittarius
 WILDFIRE
 A MYSTICAL
 Сapricorn
 VOLCANO
 Aquarius
 STORM
 MARSH
 Pisces
superpanda112:

I have stumbled upon this post many times and every time it bothered me that you have to scroll a lot to know the words soooo…. I made this in Word, trying to be less cluttered (sorry for bad quality)

ORIGINAL POST BY @youstrology 💖

superpanda112: I have stumbled upon this post many times and every time it bothered me that you have to scroll a lot to know the words sooo...

A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist