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Cars, Children, and Club: 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 1. 2. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 6. 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. Suck in some helium from a balloon, walk behind someone and say "follow the yellow brick road" laughoutloud-club: Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
Cars, Children, and Club: 20 Ways To Maintain A
 Healthy Level Of Insanity
 At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car
 With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At
 Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
 1.
 2. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends
 You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're
 Not In The Mood.
 3.
 Every Time Someone Asks You To Do
 Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
 4.
 Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And
 Label it "In".
 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3
 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over
 Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to
 Espresso
 In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks,
 Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
 6.
 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In
 Accordance With The Prophecy".
 8. Don't use any punctuation.
 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than
 Walk.
 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out
 to eat, with a serious face.
 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is
 "To Go".
 12. Sing Along At The Opera.
 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The
 Poems Don't Rhyme.
 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work
 Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
 15. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't
 Disguise Your Voice.
 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By
 Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM
 Scream "I Won! I Won!"
 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running
 Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For
 Your Lives! They're Loose!"
 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To
 The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let
 One Of You Go."
 20. Suck in some helium from a balloon, walk
 behind someone and say "follow the yellow
 brick road"
laughoutloud-club:

Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

laughoutloud-club: Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Advice, Africa, and Alive: IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A SIGN TO STAY ALIVE TONIGHT THIS IS IT PLEASE STAY SAFE & REMEMBER YOU ARE LOVED fuwaprince: US Helplines:Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453UK Helplines:Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.orgChildline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.ukMind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.ukb-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.ukb-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.ukFrank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600Drinkline: 0800 9178282Rape Crisis England amp; Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.ukRape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnightIndia Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430Australia: 13-11-14Austria: 01-713-3374Barbados: 429-9999Belgium: 106Botswana: 391-1270Brazil: 21-233-9191China: 852-2382-0000(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)Costa Rica: 606-253-5439Croatia: 01-4833-888Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908Denmark: 70-201-201Egypt: 762-1602Estonia: 6-558-088Finland: 040-5032199France: 01-45-39-4000Germany: 0800-181-0721Greece: 1018Guatemala: 502-234-1239Holland: 0900-0767Honduras: 504-237-3623Hungary: 06-80-820-111Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90Israel: 09-8892333Italy: 06-705-4444Japan: 3-5286-9090Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292Malaysia: 03-756-8144(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)Mexico: 525-510-2550Netherlands: 0900-0767New Zealand: 4-473-9739New Guinea: 675-326-0011Nicaragua: 505-268-6171Norway: 47-815-33-300Philippines: 02-896-9191Poland: 52-70-000Portugal: 239-72-10-10Russia: 8-20-222-82-10Spain: 91-459-00-50South Africa: 0861-322-322South Korea: 2-715-8600Sweden: 031-711-2400Switzerland: 143Taiwan: 0800-788-995Thailand: 02-249-9977Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800Ukraine: 0487-327715(Source)
Advice, Africa, and Alive: IF YOU'RE LOOKING
 FOR A SIGN TO
 STAY ALIVE TONIGHT

 THIS IS IT
 PLEASE STAY SAFE
 & REMEMBER
 YOU ARE LOVED
fuwaprince:

US Helplines:Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453UK Helplines:Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.orgChildline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.ukMind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.ukb-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.ukb-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.ukFrank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600Drinkline: 0800 9178282Rape Crisis England amp; Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.ukRape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnightIndia Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430Australia: 13-11-14Austria: 01-713-3374Barbados: 429-9999Belgium: 106Botswana: 391-1270Brazil: 21-233-9191China: 852-2382-0000(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)Costa Rica: 606-253-5439Croatia: 01-4833-888Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908Denmark: 70-201-201Egypt: 762-1602Estonia: 6-558-088Finland: 040-5032199France: 01-45-39-4000Germany: 0800-181-0721Greece: 1018Guatemala: 502-234-1239Holland: 0900-0767Honduras: 504-237-3623Hungary: 06-80-820-111Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90Israel: 09-8892333Italy: 06-705-4444Japan: 3-5286-9090Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292Malaysia: 03-756-8144(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)Mexico: 525-510-2550Netherlands: 0900-0767New Zealand: 4-473-9739New Guinea: 675-326-0011Nicaragua: 505-268-6171Norway: 47-815-33-300Philippines: 02-896-9191Poland: 52-70-000Portugal: 239-72-10-10Russia: 8-20-222-82-10Spain: 91-459-00-50South Africa: 0861-322-322South Korea: 2-715-8600Sweden: 031-711-2400Switzerland: 143Taiwan: 0800-788-995Thailand: 02-249-9977Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800Ukraine: 0487-327715(Source)

fuwaprince: US Helplines:Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255Trevor Project: 1-866-488...