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Allahu Akbar, America, and Animals: MY BID FOR PRESIDENT by Titania Gethsemane McGrath After much soul-searching, I have decided to run for President of the United States of America as an independent candidate I am disillusioned with those from the Democratic party who intend to run. Elizabeth Warren is insufficiently ethnic. Bernie Sanders is far too male. I feel duty-bound to seize control of the White House by whatever means necessary in order to oust the fascist dictator Donald Trump Here are some of my key policies Compulsory veganism All livestock currently in captivity will be released. Ohio will be cleared of its entire human population and the freed animals will be able to roam at will in the state Electoral reform Ballots will no longer be anonymous, and all those who vote for a Republican candidate will be subject to criminal prosecution. This will ensure that the bad people never get into power again USA to be renamed Following the lead of Philippine president Rodrigo Duterte, who wishes to rename his country Maharlika, I will be renaming the USA as Titanitania", or the United States of Wokeness". Ending racism All white couples will be forced to apply for a licence to reproduce. If successful, they will be subject to a one-baby limit. There are a number of obstacles to overcome. As a foreign national, I need to find a way to abolish the so-called Constitution in order to be eligible for the presidency. Alternatively, I am happy to identify as having been born in inner city Detroit. Secondly, I have little experience of actual politics. But I feel that there are transferable skills from my activism and slam poetry. There have been many occasions when I have chained myself to butcher shops to protest their lack of vegan options. I have smeared menstrual blood on libraries that continue to stock books by white males. I have participated in naked SlutWalks to raise awareness about the sexual objectification of women. In many ways I am a modern day Rosa Parks. (Except of course I never take public transport.) Finally, there is the small matter of cost. Most of my money is tied up in investments, or the refurbishment of my favourite gazebo. So your donations will be required. Allahu akbar. Believe women. Wakanda forever
Allahu Akbar, America, and Animals: MY BID FOR PRESIDENT
 by Titania Gethsemane McGrath
 After much soul-searching, I have decided to run for President of the United States of America as an
 independent candidate
 I am disillusioned with those from the Democratic party who intend to run. Elizabeth Warren is
 insufficiently ethnic. Bernie Sanders is far too male. I feel duty-bound to seize control of the White
 House by whatever means necessary in order to oust the fascist dictator Donald Trump
 Here are some of my key policies
 Compulsory veganism
 All livestock currently in captivity will be released. Ohio will be cleared of its entire human
 population and the freed animals will be able to roam at will in the state
 Electoral reform
 Ballots will no longer be anonymous, and all those who vote for a Republican candidate will be
 subject to criminal prosecution. This will ensure that the bad people never get into power
 again
 USA to be renamed
 Following the lead of Philippine president Rodrigo Duterte, who wishes to rename his country
 Maharlika, I will be renaming the USA as Titanitania", or the United States of Wokeness".
 Ending racism
 All white couples will be forced to apply for a licence to reproduce. If successful, they will be
 subject to a one-baby limit.
 There are a number of obstacles to overcome. As a foreign national, I need to find a way to abolish the
 so-called Constitution in order to be eligible for the presidency. Alternatively, I am happy to identify
 as having been born in inner city Detroit.
 Secondly, I have little experience of actual politics. But I feel that there are transferable skills from my
 activism and slam poetry. There have been many occasions when I have chained myself to butcher
 shops to protest their lack of vegan options. I have smeared menstrual blood on libraries that continue
 to stock books by white males. I have participated in naked SlutWalks to raise awareness about the
 sexual objectification of women. In many ways I am a modern day Rosa Parks. (Except of course I never
 take public transport.)
 Finally, there is the small matter of cost. Most of my money is tied up in investments, or the
 refurbishment of my favourite gazebo. So your donations will be required.
 Allahu akbar. Believe women. Wakanda forever
Beautiful, Bernie Sanders, and Chicago: Jussie Smollett Who is more to blame? A Devil who spreads obvious lies or a fool who chooses to believe those lies and pass them along? #Thoug 12:25 PM-22 Mar 2016 from Los Angeles, CA 1,588 Retweets 2,234 Likes ” 9. @@@ ④ Kamala Harris Bernie Sanders Joe Biden @JussieSmollett is one of the kindest, most gentle human beings I know. I'm praying for The racist and homophobic attack on Jussie Smollett is a horrific instance of the surging hostility toward minorities around the country. We must come together to eradicate all forms of bigotry and violence What happened today to @JussieSmollett must never be tolerated in this country. We must stand up and demand that we no longer give this hate safe harbor, that homophobia and racism have no place on our streets or in our hearts. We are with you, Jussie. IS This was an attempted modern day lynching. No one should have to fear for their life because of their sexuality or color of their skin. We must confront this hate 30PM-29 209 CNN CNN mpire actor usue Smolett was attacked ewnly Tueday momng what Chicago polca are caling a possibile hate crime. St a attacked by two people yeling out racial and homophoic usse Smoliett, one of the stans of the selevision show Empire wwattacked Chicago tr? 2 assaiants uhu yoled racial and hormophobK ฝนเ1 Th. ntidert is being inwestigsed as posble hale cime accondng to the police. nytimGh2 slurs accorcing to police ant/265D2nx 79.982 31 PM 29 Jan 2019 3,140 Retweets 12,868 Lke 栾恋りOcie偬莘の e. @e: é 17.94 Retweets ฮ7.005 lka Cory Booker Corylooe Nancy Pelosi The vicious attack on actor Jussie Smollett The racist, homophobic attack on @JussieSmollett is an affront to our humanity No one should be attacked for who they are This attack was not "possibly" homophobic. It glad he's safe or whom they love. I pray that Jussie has a as a racist and homophobic attack. speedy recovery & that justice is served. May we all commit to ending this hate once & for If you don't like what is happening to our There is no such thing as "racially chargecd. was an attempted modern-day lynching. I'm To those in Congress who don't feel the urgency to pass our Anti-Lynching bill designating lynching as a federal hate crime- country, then work to change it. It is no one's job to water down or sugar-coat the rise of urge you to pay attention. hate crimes. 640 PM-29 Jan 2019 000 TOME Entertainment Tonight etno BREAKING Jussie Smolest has been hosptalized in Oicago after a posable homophobic and racially changed attack etoninecom/empire-star-ju ww.cdfca Kirsten Gillibrand o This is a sickening and outrageous attack, and07 PM-9m 201 horribly, it's the latest of too many hate crimes against LGBTQ people and people of color. We are all responsible for condemning this behavior and every person who enables or normalizes it. Praying for Jussie and his Racism, homophobia & all forms of bigotry & Defense Fund Elizabeth Warren Jussis Smollett Hospitaized Ather Homophobic&Racaly Motivated Amack Musi tindt s" s n g o o n e hate have no place in this country. The fightony.cem for equality isn't over no one should have to 209 PM-29 2013 Empre star Ause Smolett sas hospitalsed a poi crime. Armadeers poured an unknown chemical substance on him live in fear of being beaten on the street and wrapped a rope anound hi neck Maxine Waters Empire star Jussie Smolett was hospitalzed aher a possible habe crime. Attackers poured an unknown chemical substance" on him and "wrappedあrope around mel neck. 952 AM-29on 2019 beautiful human being. It is so hurtful that homophobic haters would dare hurt someone so loving and giving. I'm dedicated to finding the culprits and bringing them to justice Jussie did not deserve to be harmed by an 701 PM-29 ion 2019 -24 PM-29 Jan 2039
Beautiful, Bernie Sanders, and Chicago: Jussie Smollett
 Who is more to blame? A Devil who spreads
 obvious lies or a fool who chooses to believe
 those lies and pass them along?
 #Thoug
 12:25 PM-22 Mar 2016 from Los Angeles, CA
 1,588 Retweets 2,234 Likes ” 9. @@@ ④
 Kamala Harris
 Bernie Sanders
 Joe Biden
 @JussieSmollett is one of the kindest, most
 gentle human beings I know. I'm praying for
 The racist and homophobic attack on Jussie
 Smollett is a horrific instance of the surging
 hostility toward minorities around the
 country. We must come together to eradicate
 all forms of bigotry and violence
 What happened today to @JussieSmollett
 must never be tolerated in this country. We
 must stand up and demand that we no longer
 give this hate safe harbor, that homophobia
 and racism have no place on our streets or in
 our hearts. We are with you, Jussie.
 IS
 This was an attempted modern day lynching.
 No one should have to fear for their life
 because of their sexuality or color of their
 skin. We must confront this hate
 30PM-29 209
 CNN CNN
 mpire actor usue Smolett was attacked ewnly Tueday momng
 what Chicago polca are caling a possibile hate crime. St
 a attacked by two people yeling out racial and homophoic
 usse Smoliett, one of the stans of the selevision show Empire wwattacked
 Chicago tr? 2 assaiants uhu yoled racial and hormophobK ฝนเ1 Th. ntidert is being
 inwestigsed as posble hale cime accondng to the police. nytimGh2
 slurs accorcing to police ant/265D2nx
 79.982
 31 PM 29 Jan 2019
 3,140 Retweets 12,868 Lke
 栾恋りOcie偬莘の
 e. @e:
 é
 17.94 Retweets ฮ7.005 lka
 Cory Booker
 Corylooe
 Nancy Pelosi
 The vicious attack on actor Jussie Smollett
 The racist, homophobic attack on
 @JussieSmollett is an affront to our humanity
 No one should be attacked for who they are This attack was not "possibly" homophobic. It glad he's safe
 or whom they love. I pray that Jussie has a as a racist and homophobic attack.
 speedy recovery & that justice is served. May
 we all commit to ending this hate once & for If you don't like what is happening to our
 There is no such thing as "racially chargecd.
 was an attempted modern-day lynching. I'm
 To those in Congress who don't feel the
 urgency to pass our Anti-Lynching bill
 designating lynching as a federal hate crime-
 country, then work to change it. It is no one's
 job to water down or sugar-coat the rise of urge you to pay attention.
 hate crimes.
 640 PM-29 Jan 2019
 000 TOME
 Entertainment Tonight etno
 BREAKING Jussie Smolest has been hosptalized in Oicago after a posable
 homophobic and racially changed attack etoninecom/empire-star-ju
 ww.cdfca
 Kirsten Gillibrand o
 This is a sickening and outrageous attack, and07 PM-9m 201
 horribly, it's the latest of too many hate
 crimes against LGBTQ people and people of
 color. We are all responsible for condemning
 this behavior and every person who enables
 or normalizes it. Praying for Jussie and his Racism, homophobia & all forms of bigotry &
 Defense Fund
 Elizabeth Warren
 Jussis Smollett Hospitaized Ather Homophobic&Racaly Motivated Amack
 Musi tindt
 s" s
 n
 g
 o
 o
 n
 e
 hate have no place in this country. The fightony.cem
 for equality isn't over no one should have to
 209 PM-29 2013
 Empre star Ause Smolett sas hospitalsed a poi
 crime. Armadeers poured an unknown chemical substance on him
 live in fear of being beaten on the street
 and wrapped a rope anound hi neck
 Maxine Waters
 Empire star Jussie Smolett was hospitalzed aher a possible habe
 crime. Attackers poured an unknown chemical substance" on him
 and "wrappedあrope around mel neck.
 952 AM-29on 2019
 beautiful human being. It is so hurtful that
 homophobic haters would dare hurt someone
 so loving and giving. I'm dedicated to finding
 the culprits and bringing them to justice
 Jussie did not deserve to be harmed by
 an
 701 PM-29 ion 2019
 -24 PM-29 Jan 2039
Beautiful, Bernie Sanders, and Chicago: Jussie Smollett Who is more to blame? A Devil who spreads obvious lies or a fool who chooses to believe those lies and pass them along? #Thoug 12:25 PM-22 Mar 2016 from Los Angeles, CA 1,588 Retweets 2234 ikes Kamala Harris Bernie Sanders Joe Biden @JussieSmollett is one of the kindest, most The racist and homophobic attack on Jussie Wh happened today to @JussieSmollett gentle human beings I know. I'm praying for Smollett is a horrific instance of the surging must never be tolerated in this country. We his quick recovery must stand up and demand that we no longer hostility toward minorities around the country. We must come together to eradicate give this hate safe harbor, that homophobia all forms of bigotry and violence This was an attempted modern day lynching. No one should have to fear for their life because of their sexuality or color of their skin. We must confront this hate 30 PM-29 20 and racism have no place on our streets or in our hearts. We are with you, Jussie. mpire artor usse Smolett was attacked eny Tueday mamng what Chicago polca are caling a possibile hate crime, St aattacked ty two people yeling out acial and homophotic usue Smelett, cne of thw stan of the trievson thow-Empire,, wm attacked r' Chicago by 2 assaiants uin yded racial and hormophobi,in Th. itiderts bein nwestigased as oposaie hale cime conding to the police. nytims/324 surs accorcing 1o police ant2G5Danx 79.932 29 PM 29 Jan 2019 31 PM-29 201 e) @e: 17.962 Retweets ฮ7.005 іа- Nancy Pelosi Cory Booker The vicious attack on actor Jussie Smollett The racist, homophobic attack on @JussieSmollett is an affront to our humanity No one should be attacked for who they are This attack was not "possibly" homophobic. It glad he's safe or whom they love. I pray that Jussie has a was a racist and homophobic attack speedy recovery & that justice is served. May we all commit to ending this hate once & for If you don't like what is happening to our ency to pass our Anti-Lynching bil There is no such thing as "racially chargecd. was an attempted modern-day lynching. I'm To those in Congress who don't feel the designating lynching as a federal hate crime- country, then work to change it. It is no one's job to water down or sugar-coat the rise of hate crimes. 40 PM 29 Jan 2019 I urge you to pay attention. 21,053 Retweets 10019 Entertainment Tonight etnow BREAKING Jussie Smolest has been hosptalized is Oicago after a posable homophobic and racally changed attack etonine.com/empire-sar-ju Kirsten Gillibrand O ww.cdfca This is a sickening and outrageous attack, and to07PM-29โซ12019 horribly, it's the latest of too many hate crimes against LGBTQ people and people of color. We are all responsible for condemning this behavior and every person who enables or normalizes it. Praying for Jussie and his Racism, homophobia, & all forms of bigotry &naeer Defense Fund Elizabeth Warren Jussis Smallett Hospitalized Ater Homophobic&RacaBy Monvated Amack hate have no place in this country. The fightony.en for equality isn't over no one should have to Entertainmant Tonighteow 2:09 PM-29 n 2019 eEmpre star busse Smotett sas hospitailed a pesite hot live in fear of being beaten on the street cnme. Ama kers-poured ส¡nknown demcal substance, on him and wrapped a rape around hi neck edm bcause of who they are 'a๑ G Ο @'k 13,25 Retween 44$1; um Maxine Waters Empire star Jussie Smolett ws hospitalzed aher a possible ate crime. Attackers poured an unknown chemicalsubstance" on him and "wrapped rope around กาย1 neck. 52 AM-20 201 Jussie is my friend a very talented & beautiful human being. It is so hurtful that homophobic haters would dare hurt someone so loving and giving. I'm dedicated to finding the culprits and bringing them to justice Jussie did not deserve to be harmed by an 703 PM-29 on 201 24 PM 29 an 201
Beautiful, Bernie Sanders, and Chicago: Jussie Smollett
 Who is more to blame? A Devil who spreads
 obvious lies or a fool who chooses to believe
 those lies and pass them along?
 #Thoug
 12:25 PM-22 Mar 2016 from Los Angeles, CA
 1,588 Retweets 2234 ikes
 Kamala Harris
 Bernie Sanders
 Joe Biden
 @JussieSmollett is one of the kindest, most The racist and homophobic attack on Jussie Wh happened today to @JussieSmollett
 gentle human beings I know. I'm praying for Smollett is a horrific instance of the surging must never be tolerated in this country. We
 his quick recovery
 must stand up and demand that we no longer
 hostility toward minorities around the
 country. We must come together to eradicate give this hate safe harbor, that homophobia
 all forms of bigotry and violence
 This was an attempted modern day lynching.
 No one should have to fear for their life
 because of their sexuality or color of their
 skin. We must confront this hate
 30 PM-29 20
 and racism have no place on our streets or in
 our hearts. We are with you, Jussie.
 mpire artor usse Smolett was attacked eny Tueday mamng
 what Chicago polca are caling a possibile hate crime, St
 aattacked ty two people yeling out acial and homophotic
 usue Smelett, cne of thw stan of the trievson thow-Empire,, wm attacked r'
 Chicago by 2 assaiants uin yded racial and hormophobi,in Th. itiderts bein
 nwestigased as oposaie hale cime conding to the police. nytims/324
 surs accorcing 1o police ant2G5Danx
 79.932
 29 PM 29 Jan 2019
 31 PM-29 201
 e) @e:
 17.962 Retweets ฮ7.005 іа-
 Nancy Pelosi
 Cory Booker
 The vicious attack on actor Jussie Smollett
 The racist, homophobic attack on
 @JussieSmollett is an affront to our humanity
 No one should be attacked for who they are This attack was not "possibly" homophobic. It glad he's safe
 or whom they love. I pray that Jussie has a was a racist and homophobic attack
 speedy recovery & that justice is served. May
 we all commit to ending this hate once & for If you don't like what is happening to our ency to pass our Anti-Lynching bil
 There is no such thing as "racially chargecd.
 was an attempted modern-day lynching. I'm
 To those in Congress who don't feel the
 designating lynching as a federal hate crime-
 country, then work to change it. It is no one's
 job to water down or sugar-coat the rise of
 hate crimes.
 40 PM 29 Jan 2019
 I urge you to pay attention.
 21,053 Retweets 10019
 Entertainment Tonight etnow
 BREAKING Jussie Smolest has been hosptalized is Oicago after a posable
 homophobic and racally changed attack etonine.com/empire-sar-ju
 Kirsten Gillibrand O
 ww.cdfca
 This is a sickening and outrageous attack, and to07PM-29โซ12019
 horribly, it's the latest of too many hate
 crimes against LGBTQ people and people of
 color. We are all responsible for condemning
 this behavior and every person who enables
 or normalizes it. Praying for Jussie and his Racism, homophobia, & all forms of bigotry &naeer
 Defense Fund
 Elizabeth Warren
 Jussis Smallett Hospitalized Ater Homophobic&RacaBy Monvated Amack
 hate have no place in this country. The fightony.en
 for equality isn't over no one should have to
 Entertainmant Tonighteow
 2:09 PM-29 n 2019
 eEmpre star busse Smotett sas hospitailed a pesite hot
 live in fear of being beaten on the street
 cnme. Ama kers-poured ส¡nknown demcal substance, on him
 and wrapped a rape around hi neck
 edm bcause of who they are
 'a๑ G
 Ο
 @'k
 13,25
 Retween
 44$1; um
 Maxine Waters
 Empire star Jussie Smolett ws hospitalzed aher a possible ate
 crime. Attackers poured an unknown chemicalsubstance" on him
 and "wrapped rope around กาย1 neck.
 52 AM-20 201
 Jussie is my friend a very talented &
 beautiful human being. It is so hurtful that
 homophobic haters would dare hurt someone
 so loving and giving. I'm dedicated to finding
 the culprits and bringing them to justice
 Jussie did not deserve to be harmed by
 an
 703 PM-29 on 201
 24 PM 29 an 201
America, Children, and cnn.com: ALL SEARCH donald trump Search Google *s DuckDuckGo Bing Yahoo Donald Trump Jr American businessman Donald J. Trump - Official Site Help continue our promise to Make America Great Again! T www.donaldjtrump.com See results about Donald J. Trump - Official Site https://www.donaldjtrump.com Donald Trump 45th President of the United States TOP STORIES Help continue our promise to Make America Great Again! Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) Twitter The latest Tweets from Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) 45th President of the United States of America. Washington, DC Trump's racist Elizabeth Warren taunts have entered a new phase CNN.com - 4 hours ago twitter.com/realdonaldtrump Overview Shop Jake Tapper Calls Out Donald Trump Jr.'s 'Blatant Racism Rallies Contact Us Shop donaldjtrump.com Donald Trump- Wikipedia Donald John Trump (born June 14, 1946) is the 45th and current president of the United States.Before entering politics, he was a businessman and television personality. Trump was born and raised in the New York City borough of Queens and received an economics degree from the Wharton School.He was appointed president of his family's real estate business in 1971, renamed it The Trump W en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald Trump The Daily Beast 3 hours ago Donald John Trump is an American businessman, former television personality, politician, and the 45th President of the United States. wikipedia.org Born: June 14, 1946 (age 72), Queens, New York City, NY Nationality: American THE HILL HUFFPOST News Donald Trump Biography: Trump Organization Hotel's Real.. DONALD J. TRUMP Founder, The Trump Organization. Donald J. Trump is the very definition of the American success story, continually setting the standards of excellence while expanding his interests in real estate, sports, and entertainment. О www.trump.com/biography/ Contribute About Get Involved Donate Height: 6'2" (1.88m) Net worth: $3.1 billion (celebritynetworth.com) Spouse: Melania Trump (m. 2005-present), Marla Maples (m. 1993-1999), Ivana Trump (m. 1977-1991) Parents: Fred Trump, Mary Anne MacLeod Trump Children: Ivanka Trump, Eric Trump, Donald Trump Jr., Tiffany Trump, Barron Trump Party affiliation: Republican Party (1987-1999; 2009-2011; 2012-present), Democratic Party (until 1987; 2001-2009), Reform Party (1999-2001), Independent (2011-2012) Trump blasts Omar: 'I don't think her apology was adequate' TheHill 42 mins ago Beto O'Rourke, Tru For Clash In El Pas Border Wall 1 hour ago PEOPLE ALSO SEARCH FOR Donald Trump | US news The Guardian The latest news, opinion and analysis on Donald Trump, the 45th president of the United States G www.theguardian.com/us-news/donaldtrump What time is Trump rally tonight? Donald Trump - Wikipedia https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald Trump People also search for sident 'exe
America, Children, and cnn.com: ALL SEARCH
 donald trump
 Search
 Google *s
 DuckDuckGo
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 Yahoo
 Donald Trump Jr
 American businessman
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 Help continue our promise to Make America Great Again!
 T www.donaldjtrump.com
 See results about
 Donald J. Trump - Official Site
 https://www.donaldjtrump.com
 Donald Trump
 45th President of the United States
 TOP STORIES
 Help continue our promise to Make
 America Great Again!
 Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump)
 Twitter
 The latest Tweets from Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump)
 45th President of the United States of America. Washington, DC
 Trump's racist Elizabeth Warren taunts have
 entered a new phase
 CNN.com - 4 hours ago
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 Donald John Trump (born June 14, 1946) is the 45th and
 current president of the United States.Before entering politics,
 he was a businessman and television personality. Trump was
 born and raised in the New York City borough of Queens and
 received an economics degree from the Wharton School.He
 was appointed president of his family's real estate business in
 1971, renamed it The Trump
 W en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald Trump
 The Daily Beast 3 hours ago
 Donald John Trump is an American businessman, former
 television personality, politician, and the 45th President of
 the United States. wikipedia.org
 Born: June 14, 1946 (age 72), Queens, New York City, NY
 Nationality: American
 THE HILL
 HUFFPOST
 News
 Donald Trump Biography: Trump
 Organization Hotel's Real..
 DONALD J. TRUMP Founder, The Trump Organization. Donald
 J. Trump is the very definition of the American success story,
 continually setting the standards of excellence while expanding
 his interests in real estate, sports, and entertainment.
 О www.trump.com/biography/
 Contribute
 About
 Get Involved
 Donate
 Height: 6'2" (1.88m)
 Net worth: $3.1 billion (celebritynetworth.com)
 Spouse: Melania Trump (m. 2005-present), Marla Maples
 (m. 1993-1999), Ivana Trump (m. 1977-1991)
 Parents: Fred Trump, Mary Anne MacLeod Trump
 Children: Ivanka Trump, Eric Trump, Donald Trump
 Jr., Tiffany Trump, Barron Trump
 Party affiliation: Republican Party (1987-1999; 2009-2011;
 2012-present), Democratic Party (until 1987; 2001-2009),
 Reform Party (1999-2001), Independent (2011-2012)
 Trump blasts Omar: 'I don't
 think her apology was
 adequate' TheHill
 42 mins ago
 Beto O'Rourke, Tru
 For Clash In El Pas
 Border Wall
 1 hour ago
 PEOPLE ALSO SEARCH FOR
 Donald Trump | US news The Guardian
 The latest news, opinion and analysis on Donald Trump, the
 45th president of the United States
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 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald Trump
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