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    Fail, Friends, and Fucking: So our local children's hospital re-
 cently redecorated, but I'm not too
 sure they really thought things out
tygermama:

bundibird:

tabbystardust:

yeahhiyellow:

madisactuallyscreeching:


wildhaunt:

cazador-red:

eternal-dannation:

jhenne-bean:

forlovefromfear:

diasporanpapi:


youthful-pills:


ichigo-hiyoko:

mintymaiden:

gildatheplant:
Literally any other colour would’ve been a better choice guys.

I’d like to point out that the colour red has more positive than negative meanings.

im sorry but this reply absolutely killed me
red can mean whatever the heck you want it to mean, that is never going to change that this straight up looks like they DRAGGED A BLOODY BODY ACROSS THE FUCKING FLOOR 😂


Hi fun fact, colors do have meaning and there is a legit thing called color theory. Red does has more positive connotations than negative like the @mintymaiden said. Red is associated with more love, lust, passion than blood and death just like the chart shows you but If you want, here’s a link for you to check it out yourself. Also, check out “The Designer’s Dictionary of Color” by Sean Adams. Have fun learning something

Xoxo 

-Designer 
What is Color Theory?


I think y’all are missing the point here.


You can theorize to Nebraska and back but that doesn’t change my immediate reaction which is that someone is literally dragging a corpse around

I like that the presumption here is that “No One On Tumblr Has Heard of Color Theory, Let Me Explain in Depth” rather than simply acknowledging that the VISUAL EFFECTS of this particular color choice, applied in the manner it was, can still amount to “this is a hospital and that looks like blood” 
like, color theory doesn’t exist in a vacuum. If your design of choice for Blood Red Paint is asymmetric splatters and sploches against the wall, or in this case, a snail trail on the hallway’s floor, an infographic won’t override the viewers’ instinct. 

this post is the perfect summation of tumblr’s reading comprehension and critical thought abilities




Homicide detectives: why are you dragging that bleeding corpse around?
Me, an intellectual: well you see it’s basic color theory



@yeahhiyellow I found it. The post. I’ve wanted to show you.  Fuck color theory.


Omg this is the best post ever 😂
It looks like blood? No it’s cOlOr THeOry

Fun fact: if you fail to see how literally anyone looking at this will think “oh no someone dragged a body across the floor”, and instead go on and on about ~color theory~ you are an incompetent designer. 


Like, literally any designer worth their salt should have looked at the mock-up of this and said “hm,” and then decided “ok maybe let’s keep all the positive elements of Colour Theory red but maybe change the pattern.” Literally anything would have worked.  Over-sized footprints. Smiley faces. Arrows. Crawling ivy. Polka dots. Stars. Anything except a blood trail. 


Yes, theyook like blood trails
And I am convinced that the kids in that hospital play “drag the body” with their friends because it would be hilarious 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Fail, Friends, and Fucking: So our local children's hospital re-
 cently redecorated, but I'm not too
 sure they really thought things out
tygermama:

bundibird:

tabbystardust:

yeahhiyellow:

madisactuallyscreeching:


wildhaunt:

cazador-red:

eternal-dannation:

jhenne-bean:

forlovefromfear:

diasporanpapi:


youthful-pills:


ichigo-hiyoko:

mintymaiden:

gildatheplant:
Literally any other colour would’ve been a better choice guys.

I’d like to point out that the colour red has more positive than negative meanings.

im sorry but this reply absolutely killed me
red can mean whatever the heck you want it to mean, that is never going to change that this straight up looks like they DRAGGED A BLOODY BODY ACROSS THE FUCKING FLOOR 😂


Hi fun fact, colors do have meaning and there is a legit thing called color theory. Red does has more positive connotations than negative like the @mintymaiden said. Red is associated with more love, lust, passion than blood and death just like the chart shows you but If you want, here’s a link for you to check it out yourself. Also, check out “The Designer’s Dictionary of Color” by Sean Adams. Have fun learning something

Xoxo 

-Designer 
What is Color Theory?


I think y’all are missing the point here.


You can theorize to Nebraska and back but that doesn’t change my immediate reaction which is that someone is literally dragging a corpse around

I like that the presumption here is that “No One On Tumblr Has Heard of Color Theory, Let Me Explain in Depth” rather than simply acknowledging that the VISUAL EFFECTS of this particular color choice, applied in the manner it was, can still amount to “this is a hospital and that looks like blood” 
like, color theory doesn’t exist in a vacuum. If your design of choice for Blood Red Paint is asymmetric splatters and sploches against the wall, or in this case, a snail trail on the hallway’s floor, an infographic won’t override the viewers’ instinct. 

this post is the perfect summation of tumblr’s reading comprehension and critical thought abilities




Homicide detectives: why are you dragging that bleeding corpse around?
Me, an intellectual: well you see it’s basic color theory



@yeahhiyellow I found it. The post. I’ve wanted to show you.  Fuck color theory.


Omg this is the best post ever 😂
It looks like blood? No it’s cOlOr THeOry

Fun fact: if you fail to see how literally anyone looking at this will think “oh no someone dragged a body across the floor”, and instead go on and on about ~color theory~ you are an incompetent designer. 


Like, literally any designer worth their salt should have looked at the mock-up of this and said “hm,” and then decided “ok maybe let’s keep all the positive elements of Colour Theory red but maybe change the pattern.” Literally anything would have worked.  Over-sized footprints. Smiley faces. Arrows. Crawling ivy. Polka dots. Stars. Anything except a blood trail. 


Yes, theyook like blood trails
And I am convinced that the kids in that hospital play “drag the body” with their friends because it would be hilarious 

                
            

            
            
tygermama:

bundibird:

tabbystardust:

yeahhiyellow:

madisactuallyscreeching:


wildhaunt:

cazador-red:

eternal-dannation:

jhenne-bean:...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: You got two bullets. You're in a
 room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi
 B, a massive spider and Stuart
 Little. Who you shooting?
 Your days are filled with fun and
 kindness as your loving parents
 try to nurture you in the most
 pleasant environment possible.
 One day you awaken one night to
 the smell of smoke, you open your
 eyes and begin to choke, you try
 to find your parents but you can't
 get past the toddler-proof gate in
 the doorway
 scream unable to accept your
 Screi doom. That's when
 Yesterday 10:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 You lie down and
 Surely that's the only reasonable
 answer
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for vou
 dear life as he takes you e
 and places you on the grass
 "IHAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!u
 Yesterday 10:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer is
 to shoot Stuart twice but I admire
 your conviction.
 He bt's the last you ever see
 back inside, but
 runs
 alas,
 of him
 You escape the ordeal with minor
 scarring, but it's nothing in
 mparison to the heartbreak you
 Today 12:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for that
 one pls sir
 felt that night. You have no
 grandparents, no aunties or
 uncles, no guardians whatsoever,
 and as a result, are forced to live
 in an orphanage.
 Today 1:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother and
 father who love you very much.
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message
 Send
 Iidppess IS.
 Day, weeks, months, years go by,
 and as you watch all the other
 orphans leave with their new
 foster parents, you're hopes of
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me.
 having a happy life diminish more
 and more. One day a young
 Today 3:17 am
 couple come in, they remind you
 Can I change my answer
 à€Ąà€ż à€— à€•à€Ÿà€° à€žà€Ÿ
 much of your parents except
 à€Ÿ
 they've already got a
 à€• à€Șà€ŸCgical
 Be my guest
 son. But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make
 an impression on
 this family a f your last
 chance at livinga
 shildhood, When the time has
 as
 Me so I never have to think about
 that again
 come for them to formally tell the
 which child
 orphanage matron
 they are going to adopt, you
 eagerly await your name to be
 announced. That's when they
 adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD
 OF YOU. This destroys your
 morale, you give up, you run away
 from the orphanage, get raised by
 the streets as a petty pickpocket,
 you'll never remember what true
 happiness is.
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Today 10:22 am
 Okay pls don't unmatch, this is
 important stuff now. But do you
 think it's sometimes better to ask
 forgiveness rather than
 permission?
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Yes
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message..
 Send
Why he hates Stuart Little
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: You got two bullets. You're in a
 room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi
 B, a massive spider and Stuart
 Little. Who you shooting?
 Your days are filled with fun and
 kindness as your loving parents
 try to nurture you in the most
 pleasant environment possible.
 One day you awaken one night to
 the smell of smoke, you open your
 eyes and begin to choke, you try
 to find your parents but you can't
 get past the toddler-proof gate in
 the doorway
 scream unable to accept your
 Screi doom. That's when
 Yesterday 10:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 You lie down and
 Surely that's the only reasonable
 answer
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for vou
 dear life as he takes you e
 and places you on the grass
 "IHAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!u
 Yesterday 10:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer is
 to shoot Stuart twice but I admire
 your conviction.
 He bt's the last you ever see
 back inside, but
 runs
 alas,
 of him
 You escape the ordeal with minor
 scarring, but it's nothing in
 mparison to the heartbreak you
 Today 12:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for that
 one pls sir
 felt that night. You have no
 grandparents, no aunties or
 uncles, no guardians whatsoever,
 and as a result, are forced to live
 in an orphanage.
 Today 1:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother and
 father who love you very much.
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message
 Send
 Iidppess IS.
 Day, weeks, months, years go by,
 and as you watch all the other
 orphans leave with their new
 foster parents, you're hopes of
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me.
 having a happy life diminish more
 and more. One day a young
 Today 3:17 am
 couple come in, they remind you
 Can I change my answer
 à€Ąà€ż à€— à€•à€Ÿà€° à€žà€Ÿ
 much of your parents except
 à€Ÿ
 they've already got a
 à€• à€Șà€ŸCgical
 Be my guest
 son. But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make
 an impression on
 this family a f your last
 chance at livinga
 shildhood, When the time has
 as
 Me so I never have to think about
 that again
 come for them to formally tell the
 which child
 orphanage matron
 they are going to adopt, you
 eagerly await your name to be
 announced. That's when they
 adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD
 OF YOU. This destroys your
 morale, you give up, you run away
 from the orphanage, get raised by
 the streets as a petty pickpocket,
 you'll never remember what true
 happiness is.
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Today 10:22 am
 Okay pls don't unmatch, this is
 important stuff now. But do you
 think it's sometimes better to ask
 forgiveness rather than
 permission?
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Yes
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message..
 Send
Why he hates Stuart Little
                
            

            
            
Why he hates Stuart Little

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: 4:32
 You got two bullets. You're in
 a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby,
 Cardi B, a massive spider and
 Stuart Little. Who you shooting?
 Wednesday 11:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 Surely that's the only
 reasonable answer
 Wednesday 11:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer
 is to shoot Stuart twice butI
 admire your conviction.
 Today 1:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for
 that one pls sir
 Today 2:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother
 and father who love you very
 much. Your days are filled with
 fun and kindness as your loving
 parents try to nurture you in
 the most pleasant environment
 possible.
 One day you awaken one
 to the smell of smoke,
 night
 you open your eyes and begin
 to choke, you try to find your
 parents but you can't get past
 the toddler-proof gate in the
 doorway. You lie down and
 scream, unable to accept your
 impending doom. That's when
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for your
 dear life as he takes you outside
 and places you on the grass.
 "I HAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!"
 He bravely runs back inside, but
 alas, that's the last you ever see
 of him.
 You escape the ordeal with
 minor scarring, but it's nothing
 in comparison to the heartbreak
 you felt that night. You have
 no grandparents, no aunties
 or uncles, no guardians
 whatsoever, and as a result, are
 forced to live in an orphanage
 Day, weeks, months, years go
 by, and as you watch all the
 other orphans leave with their
 new foster parents, you're
 hopes of having a happy life
 diminish more and more. One
 day a young couple come
 in, they remind you much of
 your parents except they've
 already got a biological son.
 But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make an impression on
 this family as this may be your
 last chance at living a fulfilled
 childhood. When the time has
 come for them to formally tell
 the orphanage matron which
 child they are going to adopt,
 you eagerly await your name
 to be announced. That's when
 they adopt A FUCKING RAT
 INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys
 your morale, you give up, you
 run away from the orphanage
 get raised by the streets as a
 petty pickpocket, you'll never
 remember what true happiness
 Is
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Today 4:17 am
 Can I change my answer
 Be my guest
 Me so I never have to think
 about that again
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Sent
 Type a message
 GIF
Why I hate Stuart Little.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: 4:32
 You got two bullets. You're in
 a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby,
 Cardi B, a massive spider and
 Stuart Little. Who you shooting?
 Wednesday 11:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 Surely that's the only
 reasonable answer
 Wednesday 11:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer
 is to shoot Stuart twice butI
 admire your conviction.
 Today 1:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for
 that one pls sir
 Today 2:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother
 and father who love you very
 much. Your days are filled with
 fun and kindness as your loving
 parents try to nurture you in
 the most pleasant environment
 possible.
 One day you awaken one
 to the smell of smoke,
 night
 you open your eyes and begin
 to choke, you try to find your
 parents but you can't get past
 the toddler-proof gate in the
 doorway. You lie down and
 scream, unable to accept your
 impending doom. That's when
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for your
 dear life as he takes you outside
 and places you on the grass.
 "I HAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!"
 He bravely runs back inside, but
 alas, that's the last you ever see
 of him.
 You escape the ordeal with
 minor scarring, but it's nothing
 in comparison to the heartbreak
 you felt that night. You have
 no grandparents, no aunties
 or uncles, no guardians
 whatsoever, and as a result, are
 forced to live in an orphanage
 Day, weeks, months, years go
 by, and as you watch all the
 other orphans leave with their
 new foster parents, you're
 hopes of having a happy life
 diminish more and more. One
 day a young couple come
 in, they remind you much of
 your parents except they've
 already got a biological son.
 But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make an impression on
 this family as this may be your
 last chance at living a fulfilled
 childhood. When the time has
 come for them to formally tell
 the orphanage matron which
 child they are going to adopt,
 you eagerly await your name
 to be announced. That's when
 they adopt A FUCKING RAT
 INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys
 your morale, you give up, you
 run away from the orphanage
 get raised by the streets as a
 petty pickpocket, you'll never
 remember what true happiness
 Is
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Today 4:17 am
 Can I change my answer
 Be my guest
 Me so I never have to think
 about that again
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Sent
 Type a message
 GIF
Why I hate Stuart Little.
                
            

            
            
Why I hate Stuart Little.

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            




    Beautiful, Blessed, and Bodies : Trashmouth
 Your Mom >
 345,987 likes
 Trashmouth Wow. Tough blow, this Richie Tozier
 news. My fiance here was a fan. I hope he doesn't
 take it too hard #CancelRichieTozier #BlowMe
 BevvieMarshHoly Shit, Rich
 SummerKid324 Plot Twist
 view all 12,243 comments
reddie-fucked-me-up:

Art by the beautiful @koryandr, who listened to my idea in our Reddie Discord Server, blessed my fucking seeing globes with THIS beautiful sketch, and inspired me to write a little more <3The news broke overnight: Old tweets expose comedian Richie Tozier as homophobe.There was a huge “#CancelRichieTozier” party, of course. When isn’t there? A small handful of celebrities sounded off about their disapproval, a bunch of old haters flooded his comment sections of every social media account, and even a few fans spoke out, condemning him for it and shaming themselves for not “knowing something was up with him”.If you asked Richie, the only thing they should be shaming themselves for was telling a cock sucker he was homophobic for joking about other cock suckers on the internet five years ago, but hey. Who was he to judge?Now, normally Richie would have loved to jump on the scandal. Hell, he’d probably be right there along with his haters, insisting he have the most Extraℱ of cancellation parties. Unfortunately though, he happened to be sleeping when the “receipts” surfaced. It wasn’t until he awoke, bleary eyed and exhausted, that he knew anything was amiss— the sheer amount of notifications on his phone being enough to scare anyone.Especially the five missed calls from his agent.“Oh fuck me,” He groaned, falling back against the pillows once more. Eddie was right there, pushing back into his space and nuzzling his face into Richie’s shoulder in a lazy attempt to block out the light.If Richie took a moment or two to stare before turning his attention once more to the shit storm on his phone, who could blame him?He scrolled through notification after notification, mind still rather numb from the early morning, but smiling nonetheless. I mean, how could he not, this shit was hilarious! Sure, he probably should’ve been calling his agent back, but instead he raised his phone in the air, snapping a quick shot of him and his fiancĂ© to sent to their friends.It was maybe the best picture he’d ever taken.Growing up in a town as close-minded as Derry, Richie and Eddie were just a couple of the many who were raised to believe being gay was wrong. Richie grew up desperate to believe he was anything else (well, technically he was bisexual, but that was besides the point), and Eddie grew up believing he was inherently dirty.Eventually, they found a home in each other, but it had taken some time. They didn’t know how to allow themselves to be intimate, and there were a lot of stumbles. Just as there always is with your first love. Except, that “first love” was going to be their only love. Richie had made it official weeks ago. He liked it, and he finally, finally put a ring on it. He just
 hadn’t gone public with it yet.Eddie didn’t mind. They were both still far more uncomfortable with public displays of affection than they’d care to admit. You could be run out of an arcade is someone thought you were so much as flirting with a guy. That kind of hardwiring took time to change.Well
 looking at this photo— at the way their bodies could just exist together— Richie started to wonder if his hardwire wasn’t glitching. He just couldn’t get the math to work. Why would this ever be something he didn’t want to share? The way Eddie could just close his eyes and mold himself against Richie’s entire body, trusting him with this
 this precious thing he was. This thing that probably should’ve belonged to someone more deserving, but he gave to Richie.With one last tired smile at the photo, Richie decided to do what he does best:Not think.It was a little difficult typing with one shoulder pinned under Eddie, but he managed fine enough, typing his official response to all the drama.“Wow. Tough blow, this Richie Tozier news. My fiancĂ© here was a fan. I hope he doesn’t take it too hard #CancelRichieTozier #BlowMe”
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Beautiful, Blessed, and Bodies : Trashmouth
 Your Mom >
 345,987 likes
 Trashmouth Wow. Tough blow, this Richie Tozier
 news. My fiance here was a fan. I hope he doesn't
 take it too hard #CancelRichieTozier #BlowMe
 BevvieMarshHoly Shit, Rich
 SummerKid324 Plot Twist
 view all 12,243 comments
reddie-fucked-me-up:

Art by the beautiful @koryandr, who listened to my idea in our Reddie Discord Server, blessed my fucking seeing globes with THIS beautiful sketch, and inspired me to write a little more <3The news broke overnight: Old tweets expose comedian Richie Tozier as homophobe.There was a huge “#CancelRichieTozier” party, of course. When isn’t there? A small handful of celebrities sounded off about their disapproval, a bunch of old haters flooded his comment sections of every social media account, and even a few fans spoke out, condemning him for it and shaming themselves for not “knowing something was up with him”.If you asked Richie, the only thing they should be shaming themselves for was telling a cock sucker he was homophobic for joking about other cock suckers on the internet five years ago, but hey. Who was he to judge?Now, normally Richie would have loved to jump on the scandal. Hell, he’d probably be right there along with his haters, insisting he have the most Extraℱ of cancellation parties. Unfortunately though, he happened to be sleeping when the “receipts” surfaced. It wasn’t until he awoke, bleary eyed and exhausted, that he knew anything was amiss— the sheer amount of notifications on his phone being enough to scare anyone.Especially the five missed calls from his agent.“Oh fuck me,” He groaned, falling back against the pillows once more. Eddie was right there, pushing back into his space and nuzzling his face into Richie’s shoulder in a lazy attempt to block out the light.If Richie took a moment or two to stare before turning his attention once more to the shit storm on his phone, who could blame him?He scrolled through notification after notification, mind still rather numb from the early morning, but smiling nonetheless. I mean, how could he not, this shit was hilarious! Sure, he probably should’ve been calling his agent back, but instead he raised his phone in the air, snapping a quick shot of him and his fiancĂ© to sent to their friends.It was maybe the best picture he’d ever taken.Growing up in a town as close-minded as Derry, Richie and Eddie were just a couple of the many who were raised to believe being gay was wrong. Richie grew up desperate to believe he was anything else (well, technically he was bisexual, but that was besides the point), and Eddie grew up believing he was inherently dirty.Eventually, they found a home in each other, but it had taken some time. They didn’t know how to allow themselves to be intimate, and there were a lot of stumbles. Just as there always is with your first love. Except, that “first love” was going to be their only love. Richie had made it official weeks ago. He liked it, and he finally, finally put a ring on it. He just
 hadn’t gone public with it yet.Eddie didn’t mind. They were both still far more uncomfortable with public displays of affection than they’d care to admit. You could be run out of an arcade is someone thought you were so much as flirting with a guy. That kind of hardwiring took time to change.Well
 looking at this photo— at the way their bodies could just exist together— Richie started to wonder if his hardwire wasn’t glitching. He just couldn’t get the math to work. Why would this ever be something he didn’t want to share? The way Eddie could just close his eyes and mold himself against Richie’s entire body, trusting him with this
 this precious thing he was. This thing that probably should’ve belonged to someone more deserving, but he gave to Richie.With one last tired smile at the photo, Richie decided to do what he does best:Not think.It was a little difficult typing with one shoulder pinned under Eddie, but he managed fine enough, typing his official response to all the drama.“Wow. Tough blow, this Richie Tozier news. My fiancĂ© here was a fan. I hope he doesn’t take it too hard #CancelRichieTozier #BlowMe”
                
            

            
            
reddie-fucked-me-up:

Art by the beautiful @koryandr, who listened to my idea in our Reddie Discord Server, blessed my fucking seeing globes...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Beautiful, Community, and God: 21 Answers
 votes
 oldest
 newest
 You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that
 can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many
 times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is
 insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular
 language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break
 down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular
 regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me
 crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even
 Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with
 regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp.
 Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together
 like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and
 HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you
 parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to
 inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes.
 HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the
 onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late
 it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue
 (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive
 this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and
 security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the
 dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg
 ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless
 screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and
 existence for all time like ViƟual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uƆholy
 radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of
 regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you
 see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ÄźS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he
 comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne
 stop the an ges aƙe not reñj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES
 1811
 Have you tried using an XML parser instead?
 link edit flag
 edited Nov 14 at 0:18
 community wiki
 bobince
regex and html
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Beautiful, Community, and God: 21 Answers
 votes
 oldest
 newest
 You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that
 can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many
 times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is
 insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular
 language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break
 down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular
 regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me
 crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even
 Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with
 regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp.
 Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together
 like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and
 HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you
 parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to
 inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes.
 HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the
 onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late
 it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue
 (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive
 this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and
 security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the
 dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg
 ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless
 screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and
 existence for all time like ViƟual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uƆholy
 radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of
 regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you
 see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ÄźS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he
 comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne
 stop the an ges aƙe not reñj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES
 1811
 Have you tried using an XML parser instead?
 link edit flag
 edited Nov 14 at 0:18
 community wiki
 bobince
regex and html
                
            

            
            
regex and html

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Ass, Bitch, and Bruh: The Economist
 -Follow
 Economist
 TheEconomist
 Why aren't millennials buying diamonds?
 econ.st/294G6yf
leoismybookcrush:
highklaushargreeves:

my-analogical-romance:


magicallygrimmwiccan:

jackdrawsgames:

luidilovins:

phruxx:

stynalane:

dxisybuchanan:

everythingcanadian:

ariaste:

wildhaunt:

everkings:

kid-communism:

combatbooty:

1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us

3) mostly mined with slave labor

4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don’t even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years

5) They aren’t actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated. 

Pro tip from a former Jared’s salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They’re lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like
 $30-80 probably. You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tell the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they’ll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN. 
Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial’s engagement ring. 

THANK YOU EX-JARED’S BASED GOD. 

engagement rings: HACKED


Get a ring from an antique store. They’re usually less than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named Edith probably. 

thanks edith


Tiger’s eye: $47 bucks on etsy. Propose to your elderich horror with a ring she deserves. 
Rose quarts rose ring? 43 bucks. Symbol of love. Looks like a ring pop. Win-win. 
Druzy quartz 40 bucks. Cant pick a color? Go with all of them. Neat texture. 
Snowflake obsidian? 20 bucks. Made from the fires of the Earth’s molten core. Pretty dope conversation starter. 
Jade 15-30 bucks. Literally has a history of inner peace and spiritual awakening. Good gentle reminder not to kill your spouse. 

SO PRETTY

@theotheralya


Could give me a rock u found on the floor and thought I’d like and I would genuinely be ecstatic 


The ring I got Cas. Oak and a teeny tiny fern leaf. 

My dad proposed to my mom with a Ring Pop on April Fool’s Day 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Ass, Bitch, and Bruh: The Economist
 -Follow
 Economist
 TheEconomist
 Why aren't millennials buying diamonds?
 econ.st/294G6yf
leoismybookcrush:
highklaushargreeves:

my-analogical-romance:


magicallygrimmwiccan:

jackdrawsgames:

luidilovins:

phruxx:

stynalane:

dxisybuchanan:

everythingcanadian:

ariaste:

wildhaunt:

everkings:

kid-communism:

combatbooty:

1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us

3) mostly mined with slave labor

4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don’t even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years

5) They aren’t actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated. 

Pro tip from a former Jared’s salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They’re lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like
 $30-80 probably. You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tell the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they’ll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN. 
Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial’s engagement ring. 

THANK YOU EX-JARED’S BASED GOD. 

engagement rings: HACKED


Get a ring from an antique store. They’re usually less than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named Edith probably. 

thanks edith


Tiger’s eye: $47 bucks on etsy. Propose to your elderich horror with a ring she deserves. 
Rose quarts rose ring? 43 bucks. Symbol of love. Looks like a ring pop. Win-win. 
Druzy quartz 40 bucks. Cant pick a color? Go with all of them. Neat texture. 
Snowflake obsidian? 20 bucks. Made from the fires of the Earth’s molten core. Pretty dope conversation starter. 
Jade 15-30 bucks. Literally has a history of inner peace and spiritual awakening. Good gentle reminder not to kill your spouse. 

SO PRETTY

@theotheralya


Could give me a rock u found on the floor and thought I’d like and I would genuinely be ecstatic 


The ring I got Cas. Oak and a teeny tiny fern leaf. 

My dad proposed to my mom with a Ring Pop on April Fool’s Day 

                
            

            
            
leoismybookcrush:
highklaushargreeves:

my-analogical-romance:


magicallygrimmwiccan:

jackdrawsgames:

luidilovins:

phruxx:

stynalane:

...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Apple, God, and Google: oooo Sprint LTE
 @ 99%
 8:54 AM
 Settings
 Emergency Chat
 Meltdown
 gave you my phone because l
 can't use or process speech
 right now, but l am still capable
 of text communication. My
 hearing and tactile senses are
 extremely sensitive in this state,
 so please refrain from touching
 me. Please keep calm, and
 proceed to the next screen that
 has a simple chat client through
 which we can communicate.
 Continue
 R...ht New Message
 Send

 @ 99%
 ooo Sprint LTE
 9:02 AM
 Settings
 Emergency Chat
 Today 9:02 AM
 would you like to get out of here?
 Left
 yes please
 R...ht New Message
 Send
 the
 I'm
 O p
 qw
 r
 ĐŁ
 u
 f
 jk
 d
 gh
 Đ°
 S
 C
 b
 Z
 X
 123
 return
 space
sweetandsavageautistic:
thathumanwiththecatears:

kuroba101:

sweet-and-tender:

lesbiandana:

hello! I don’t know if anyone has already made a post about this before, but I just stumbled upon this app made specifically for when you’ve gone into a nonverbal anxiety attack!!!
it was made by Jeroen De Busser who is an autistic computer science student.
the app is really easy to use! all you do is open it and hand your phone to someone you need to communicate with during an attack but physically cannot, and it shows this cool little alert for the person to read, and then it takes them to an easy to use chat (that looks a lot like texting! except both of you are communicating using the same device). 
the alert message is completely customizable and you can have it say whatever you need! 
the app is called Emergency Chat and it’s available in the Apple Store and google play store. 
I highly recommend it to anyone who might need it :)

OH MY GOD?!?!?? BOOST

That’s so bootiful!

thank you so much for this because i never know what to do when i cant talk to people and they just start trying to ask me questions and its really hard to force myself to say i cant talk and stuff. im definately getting this right now


WHAT? 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Apple, God, and Google: oooo Sprint LTE
 @ 99%
 8:54 AM
 Settings
 Emergency Chat
 Meltdown
 gave you my phone because l
 can't use or process speech
 right now, but l am still capable
 of text communication. My
 hearing and tactile senses are
 extremely sensitive in this state,
 so please refrain from touching
 me. Please keep calm, and
 proceed to the next screen that
 has a simple chat client through
 which we can communicate.
 Continue
 R...ht New Message
 Send

 @ 99%
 ooo Sprint LTE
 9:02 AM
 Settings
 Emergency Chat
 Today 9:02 AM
 would you like to get out of here?
 Left
 yes please
 R...ht New Message
 Send
 the
 I'm
 O p
 qw
 r
 ĐŁ
 u
 f
 jk
 d
 gh
 Đ°
 S
 C
 b
 Z
 X
 123
 return
 space
sweetandsavageautistic:
thathumanwiththecatears:

kuroba101:

sweet-and-tender:

lesbiandana:

hello! I don’t know if anyone has already made a post about this before, but I just stumbled upon this app made specifically for when you’ve gone into a nonverbal anxiety attack!!!
it was made by Jeroen De Busser who is an autistic computer science student.
the app is really easy to use! all you do is open it and hand your phone to someone you need to communicate with during an attack but physically cannot, and it shows this cool little alert for the person to read, and then it takes them to an easy to use chat (that looks a lot like texting! except both of you are communicating using the same device). 
the alert message is completely customizable and you can have it say whatever you need! 
the app is called Emergency Chat and it’s available in the Apple Store and google play store. 
I highly recommend it to anyone who might need it :)

OH MY GOD?!?!?? BOOST

That’s so bootiful!

thank you so much for this because i never know what to do when i cant talk to people and they just start trying to ask me questions and its really hard to force myself to say i cant talk and stuff. im definately getting this right now


WHAT? 

                
            

            
            
sweetandsavageautistic:
thathumanwiththecatears:

kuroba101:

sweet-and-tender:

lesbiandana:

hello! I don’t know if anyone has already mad...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Apple, Definitely, and Dogs: S:
 Sofia created a poll.
 March 4 at 10:33 PM
 ever since i moved to Europe, almost every single meal i've shared
 someone, there comes a point where someone asks, 'how do you say "bon
 inenglish' and then i have
 appétit dobar tek / eet smakelijk /
 explain that this expression essentially doesn't exist in English except for
 the incredibly informal 'chow down' to which they always respond in
 mixture of horror or confusion.
 after all, 'bon appétit' comes from French and it often has an air of
 pretension or irony and 'enjoy your meal can really only be said by
 someone not participating in the meal
 or am i wrong? what English-only phrase do YOU say before a meal?
 welcome to flavortown
 bone app the teeth
 +78
 let's eat
 +71
 dig in!
 +58
 Enjoy!
 +56
 RUB A DUB DUB THANKS FOR THE
 +41
 GRUB
 We luv our bread we luv our butter but
 +38
 most of all we luv each other
 1
 0+
 Commencing operation mastication
 +31
 0+
 i wanna munch
 +29
 Bone apple tea
 +28
 ..
 Osteoporosis
 2
 +19
 G'appetite
 +16
 ---
 Ah, I greatly consuming this food, which is
 definitely not human flesh
 0+
 +16
 eat up
 +14
 17
 OM NOM NOM NOM
 +10
 0+
 i think dogs should be able to vote
 +9
 7
 2468 dig in don't wait
 AMOE
 0+
 Blonde amputee
 +8
 Help yourself
 +6
 tuck in
 +6
 time to dig in
 +6
 shallmst we nom?
 +5
 Boom map the sheets
 +4
 Bone fuck my Ray Romano BluRay
 +4
 Phone apple jeans
 +3
 eat up martha
 +3
 it's time to mönch...it's time to crönch
 +3
 M
 food
 +2
 happy masticating
 +2
muaddibbler:The most impressive communal shitpost I’ve yet seen from a linguistics Facebook group
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Apple, Definitely, and Dogs: S:
 Sofia created a poll.
 March 4 at 10:33 PM
 ever since i moved to Europe, almost every single meal i've shared
 someone, there comes a point where someone asks, 'how do you say "bon
 inenglish' and then i have
 appétit dobar tek / eet smakelijk /
 explain that this expression essentially doesn't exist in English except for
 the incredibly informal 'chow down' to which they always respond in
 mixture of horror or confusion.
 after all, 'bon appétit' comes from French and it often has an air of
 pretension or irony and 'enjoy your meal can really only be said by
 someone not participating in the meal
 or am i wrong? what English-only phrase do YOU say before a meal?
 welcome to flavortown
 bone app the teeth
 +78
 let's eat
 +71
 dig in!
 +58
 Enjoy!
 +56
 RUB A DUB DUB THANKS FOR THE
 +41
 GRUB
 We luv our bread we luv our butter but
 +38
 most of all we luv each other
 1
 0+
 Commencing operation mastication
 +31
 0+
 i wanna munch
 +29
 Bone apple tea
 +28
 ..
 Osteoporosis
 2
 +19
 G'appetite
 +16
 ---
 Ah, I greatly consuming this food, which is
 definitely not human flesh
 0+
 +16
 eat up
 +14
 17
 OM NOM NOM NOM
 +10
 0+
 i think dogs should be able to vote
 +9
 7
 2468 dig in don't wait
 AMOE
 0+
 Blonde amputee
 +8
 Help yourself
 +6
 tuck in
 +6
 time to dig in
 +6
 shallmst we nom?
 +5
 Boom map the sheets
 +4
 Bone fuck my Ray Romano BluRay
 +4
 Phone apple jeans
 +3
 eat up martha
 +3
 it's time to mönch...it's time to crönch
 +3
 M
 food
 +2
 happy masticating
 +2
muaddibbler:The most impressive communal shitpost I’ve yet seen from a linguistics Facebook group
                
            

            
            
muaddibbler:The most impressive communal shitpost I’ve yet seen from a linguistics Facebook group