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eye: remain pure everyone by faraaz_eye MORE MEMES
eye: remain pure everyone by faraaz_eye
MORE MEMES

remain pure everyone by faraaz_eye MORE MEMES

eye: omg-humor: Like the UFO during the pandemic. No one bats an eye.
eye: omg-humor:

Like the UFO during the pandemic. No one bats an eye.

omg-humor: Like the UFO during the pandemic. No one bats an eye.

eye: My eye, captain by ZackAttack556 MORE MEMES
eye: My eye, captain by ZackAttack556
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My eye, captain by ZackAttack556 MORE MEMES

eye: My eye, captain
eye: My eye, captain

My eye, captain

eye: inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
eye: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: so...

eye: gacougnol: Georg MucheThe Eye of Diana 1965 Variography
eye: gacougnol:
Georg MucheThe Eye of Diana
1965
Variography

gacougnol: Georg MucheThe Eye of Diana 1965 Variography

eye: thesassycat: thesassycat: thesassycat: they’re called violently high fruits and vegs I changed them up and made them into stickers i put them on my Etsy!!!
eye: thesassycat:
thesassycat:

thesassycat:

they’re called violently high fruits and vegs


I changed them up and made them into stickers 

i put them on my Etsy!!!

thesassycat: thesassycat: thesassycat: they’re called violently high fruits and vegs I changed them up and made them into stickers...

eye: Like the UFO during the pandemic. No one bats an eye.
eye: Like the UFO during the pandemic. No one bats an eye.

Like the UFO during the pandemic. No one bats an eye.

eye: Something’s in my eye by cletus1986 MORE MEMES
eye: Something’s in my eye by cletus1986
MORE MEMES

Something’s in my eye by cletus1986 MORE MEMES

eye: Something’s in my eye
eye: Something’s in my eye

Something’s in my eye

eye: bookgeekconfessions: Eye opening, isn’t it? 
eye: bookgeekconfessions:

Eye opening, isn’t it? 

bookgeekconfessions: Eye opening, isn’t it? 

eye: Interesting and eye catching
eye: Interesting and eye catching

Interesting and eye catching

eye: Interesting and eye catching by mikey2077 MORE MEMES
eye: Interesting and eye catching by mikey2077
MORE MEMES

Interesting and eye catching by mikey2077 MORE MEMES

eye: My eye!
eye: My eye!

My eye!

eye: my-secret-eye:Ruth Bernhard, Delores, 1963
eye: my-secret-eye:Ruth Bernhard, Delores, 1963

my-secret-eye:Ruth Bernhard, Delores, 1963

eye: An eye for an eye is never the answer!
eye: An eye for an eye is never the answer!

An eye for an eye is never the answer!

eye: Me irl by Judgeful-Eye MORE MEMES
eye: Me irl by Judgeful-Eye
MORE MEMES

Me irl by Judgeful-Eye MORE MEMES

eye: That side eye had me 😂 (via)
eye: That side eye had me 😂 (via)

That side eye had me 😂 (via)

eye: awesomesthesia:1. Dr.HEDISON Returning Eye Patch - 60 Patches2. Pittoresco Volufiline Eye Serum (30ml)3. EXODERM Bio Cellulose Face Mask - 1 Sheet4. PAMS COSMETIC - 100% Natural Clay Mask
eye: awesomesthesia:1. Dr.HEDISON Returning Eye Patch - 60 Patches2. Pittoresco Volufiline Eye Serum (30ml)3. EXODERM Bio Cellulose Face Mask - 1 Sheet4. PAMS COSMETIC - 100% Natural Clay Mask

awesomesthesia:1. Dr.HEDISON Returning Eye Patch - 60 Patches2. Pittoresco Volufiline Eye Serum (30ml)3. EXODERM Bio Cellulose Face Mask...

eye: awesomesthesia:1. Dr.HEDISON Returning Eye Patch - 60 Patches2. Pittoresco Volufiline Eye Serum (30ml)3. EXODERM Bio Cellulose Face Mask - 1 Sheet4. PAMS COSMETIC - 100% Natural Clay Mask
eye: awesomesthesia:1. Dr.HEDISON Returning Eye Patch - 60 Patches2. Pittoresco Volufiline Eye Serum (30ml)3. EXODERM Bio Cellulose Face Mask - 1 Sheet4. PAMS COSMETIC - 100% Natural Clay Mask

awesomesthesia:1. Dr.HEDISON Returning Eye Patch - 60 Patches2. Pittoresco Volufiline Eye Serum (30ml)3. EXODERM Bio Cellulose Face Mask...

eye: awesomesthesia:1. Dr.HEDISON Returning Eye Patch - 60 Patches2. Pittoresco Volufiline Eye Serum (30ml)3. EXODERM Bio Cellulose Face Mask - 1 Sheet4. PAMS COSMETIC - 100% Natural Clay Mask
eye: awesomesthesia:1. Dr.HEDISON Returning Eye Patch - 60 Patches2. Pittoresco Volufiline Eye Serum (30ml)3. EXODERM Bio Cellulose Face Mask - 1 Sheet4. PAMS COSMETIC - 100% Natural Clay Mask

awesomesthesia:1. Dr.HEDISON Returning Eye Patch - 60 Patches2. Pittoresco Volufiline Eye Serum (30ml)3. EXODERM Bio Cellulose Face Mask...

eye: feedmecookiesnow: not-the-blue: @fandomforoz art for @letsallsleepoverwork, who came up with the absolutely adorable idea of the hawkeyes braiding Bucky’s hair and painting his nails! thank you!!  I thought this was cute so I wrote a story for it. ** Practice on Me New York in August, Bucky thinks, is a special kind of hell. He’s laying on the floor of his apartment with the shades all drawn and a fan blasting directly on him. He’s wearing nothing but his boxers. His entire body is pressed to the cool hardwood of the floor. There’s a cold washcloth over his forehead. An iced water sitting next to him. And yet none of it is making a dent in the heat. It’s thick. It’s awful. It’s like breathing soup. “Definitely hell,” he says to the dark room. “One-hundred percent, Grade A, whole wheat hell.” His phone rings. Bucky cracks an eye open, then gropes around on the floor for it until he can stab at it. “What?” Clint’s voice echoes through the speaker. “Oooh, you sound angry. What’s wrong?” “I’m hot,” Bucky says. “My air conditioning is broke, and the guy can’t fix it until Friday.” “Oh god.” Clint sounds horrified. “That’s the worst thing I’ve heard today.” He pauses, and then says, “Well, second worst. My favorite taco guy was out of the spicy guacamole. I had to settle for regular.” “It must be hard being you,” Bucky says dryly, and Clint laughs. “Anyway. What do you want?” “I was going to ask if I could come over,” Clint says. “But I think now it would be better if you came to my place instead.” Keep reading
eye: feedmecookiesnow:
not-the-blue:
@fandomforoz art for @letsallsleepoverwork, who came up with the absolutely adorable idea of the hawkeyes braiding Bucky’s hair and painting his nails! thank you!! 
I thought this was cute so I wrote a story for it. 
**
Practice on Me
New York in August, Bucky thinks, is a special kind of hell. 
He’s laying on the floor of his apartment with the shades all drawn 
and a fan blasting directly on him. He’s wearing nothing but his boxers.
 His entire body is pressed to the cool hardwood of the floor. There’s a
 cold washcloth over his forehead. An iced water sitting next to him. 
And yet none of it is making a dent in the heat. It’s thick. It’s awful. It’s like breathing soup.
“Definitely hell,” he says to the dark room. “One-hundred percent, Grade A, whole wheat hell.”
His phone rings. Bucky cracks an eye open, then gropes around on the floor for it until he can stab at it. “What?”
Clint’s voice echoes through the speaker. “Oooh, you sound angry. What’s wrong?”
“I’m hot,” Bucky says. “My air conditioning is broke, and the guy can’t fix it until Friday.”
“Oh god.” Clint sounds horrified. “That’s the worst thing I’ve heard 
today.” He pauses, and then says, “Well, second worst. My favorite taco 
guy was out of the spicy guacamole. I had to settle for regular.”
“It must be hard being you,” Bucky says dryly, and Clint laughs. “Anyway. What do you want?”
“I was going to ask if I could come over,” Clint says. “But I think now it would be better if you came to my place instead.” Keep reading

feedmecookiesnow: not-the-blue: @fandomforoz art for @letsallsleepoverwork, who came up with the absolutely adorable idea of the hawkeyes...

eye: Tilt your phone back and looking at the screen from the charging hole, now close one eye
eye: Tilt your phone back and looking at the screen from the charging hole, now close one eye

Tilt your phone back and looking at the screen from the charging hole, now close one eye

eye: ‘Eye roll from Luke Skywalker’ by CluelessFather28 MORE MEMES
eye: ‘Eye roll from Luke Skywalker’ by CluelessFather28
MORE MEMES

‘Eye roll from Luke Skywalker’ by CluelessFather28 MORE MEMES

eye: ‘Eye roll from Luke Skywalker’
eye: ‘Eye roll from Luke Skywalker’

‘Eye roll from Luke Skywalker’

eye: Eye Matey [OC]
eye: Eye Matey [OC]

Eye Matey [OC]

eye: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
eye: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the g...

eye: photos-of-space: Cat’s Eye Nebula Hangs in Space (NASA, Chandra, 7/30/08)
eye: photos-of-space:

Cat’s Eye Nebula Hangs in Space (NASA, Chandra, 7/30/08)

photos-of-space: Cat’s Eye Nebula Hangs in Space (NASA, Chandra, 7/30/08)

eye: web devs with poor eye sight, you know what you see.
eye: web devs with poor eye sight, you know what you see.

web devs with poor eye sight, you know what you see.

eye: Third eye is all the way open
eye: Third eye is all the way open

Third eye is all the way open

eye: awesomacious: I did this to my dinosaur who had long eye lashes
eye: awesomacious:

I did this to my dinosaur who had long eye lashes

awesomacious: I did this to my dinosaur who had long eye lashes

eye: Eye spy.
eye: Eye spy.

Eye spy.

eye: awesomacious: I did this to my dinosaur who had long eye lashes
eye: awesomacious:

I did this to my dinosaur who had long eye lashes

awesomacious: I did this to my dinosaur who had long eye lashes

eye: I did this to my dinosaur who had long eye lashes
eye: I did this to my dinosaur who had long eye lashes

I did this to my dinosaur who had long eye lashes

eye: I did this to my dinosaur who had long eye lashes
eye: I did this to my dinosaur who had long eye lashes

I did this to my dinosaur who had long eye lashes

eye: twentyratsinatrenchcoat: waywardmasquerade: jabletown: manicpixiedreamalien: did-you-kno: Scottish sculptor Rob Mulholland creates creepy mirrored sculptures out of acrylic glass that makes them blend into their surroundings until your perspective shifts and they suddenly catch your eye. Source Source 2 imagine getting lost in the woods and coming across these on a scale of 1-10 how ready for death would you be i didn’t know chaotic evil looked like someone’s dad from north dakota Some one needs to stat these mirror beings ASAP Mirrorfolk Medium construct, lawful evil AC: 15 HP: 100 (8d10+20) Speed: 30ft STR: 14 (+2) WIS: 16 (+3) CON: 10 (+0) INT: 16 (+3) DEX: 18 (+4) CHA: 20 (+5) Skills: Perception (+5), Deception (+9) Senses: Truesight, low-light vision, passive perception 13 Languages: Common Challenge: 5 (1,800 XP) Immunities: Mind-affecting spells, poison, sleep effects, paralysis, stunning, disease, death effects, and necromancy effects Proficiencies: No armor; simple weapons Natural Camoflauge: A mirrorfolk can blend in easily to any environment by reflecting the world around them. In order to notice a mirrorfolk using it’s camoflauge, players must pass a check with a DC 18. Reflection: Three times a day, a mirrorfolk may reflect a spell cast at it by passing a dexterity check (DC 16). This acts as though the mirrorfolk had cast the spell with the original caster as the target, or as though it had been directly reflected from a mirror (ex. A fireball caught by a mirrorfolk directly reflects the cone of effect). The Eye of the Beholder: A mirrorfolk may cast Charm Person, Hypnotic Pattern, Suggestion, Crown of Madness, or Enemies Abound up to four time per day at their base level. The four times are total, not for each spell. It may cast Minor Illusion or Prestidigitation at will. However, any illusion created by these spells (including Hypnotic Pattern) uses its own surfaces. The Scott’s Pet: Mirrorfolk act as guards to a human mage named Mulholland the Sculptor. Their primary goal of creation is to divert attention from Mulholland, and do so either through illusion or through turning party members against each other. They will also act as living shields if need be. However, mirrorfolk are considered awaken constructs, and their loyalty comes strictly from Mulholland’s kindness towards them.
eye: twentyratsinatrenchcoat:
waywardmasquerade:


jabletown:

manicpixiedreamalien:

did-you-kno:

Scottish sculptor Rob Mulholland 
creates creepy mirrored sculptures 
out of acrylic glass that makes 
them blend into their surroundings 
until your perspective shifts and 
they suddenly catch your eye.  Source Source 2

imagine getting lost in the woods and coming across these
on a scale of 1-10 how ready for death would you be

i didn’t know chaotic evil looked like someone’s dad from north dakota

Some one needs to stat these mirror beings ASAP



Mirrorfolk
Medium construct, lawful evil
AC: 15
HP: 100 (8d10+20)
Speed: 30ft
STR: 14 (+2)                  WIS: 16 (+3)
CON: 10 (+0)                  INT: 16 (+3)
DEX: 18 (+4)                CHA: 20 (+5)
Skills: Perception (+5), Deception (+9)
Senses: Truesight, low-light vision, passive perception 13
Languages: Common
Challenge: 5 (1,800 XP)
Immunities: Mind-affecting spells, poison, sleep effects, paralysis, stunning, disease, death effects, and necromancy effects
Proficiencies: No armor; simple weapons
Natural Camoflauge: A mirrorfolk can blend in easily to any environment by reflecting the world around them. In order to notice a mirrorfolk using it’s camoflauge, players must pass a check with a DC 18.
Reflection: Three times a day, a mirrorfolk may reflect a spell cast at it by passing a dexterity check (DC 16). This acts as though the mirrorfolk had cast the spell with the original caster as the target, or as though it had been directly reflected from a mirror (ex. A fireball caught by a mirrorfolk directly reflects the cone of effect).
The Eye of the Beholder: A mirrorfolk may cast Charm Person, Hypnotic Pattern, Suggestion, Crown of Madness, or Enemies Abound up to four time per day at their base level. The four times are total, not for each spell. It may cast Minor Illusion or Prestidigitation at will. However, any illusion created by these spells (including Hypnotic Pattern) uses its own surfaces.
The Scott’s Pet: Mirrorfolk act as guards to a human mage named Mulholland the Sculptor. Their primary goal of creation is to divert attention from Mulholland, and do so either through illusion or through turning party members against each other. They will also act as living shields if need be. However, mirrorfolk are considered awaken constructs, and their loyalty comes strictly from Mulholland’s kindness towards them.

twentyratsinatrenchcoat: waywardmasquerade: jabletown: manicpixiedreamalien: did-you-kno: Scottish sculptor Rob Mulholland creates...

eye: the-real-eye-to-see: Black barbers are sent from Heaven
eye: the-real-eye-to-see:

Black barbers are sent from Heaven

the-real-eye-to-see: Black barbers are sent from Heaven

eye: [OC]Laser Eye Surgery
eye: [OC]Laser Eye Surgery

[OC]Laser Eye Surgery