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Being Alone, Bad, and Family: NEW EPISODE CN CARTOETw I WAS TERRIBLE TO YOU. I LIKED TAKING EVERYTHING OUT ON YO.. beta-kindergarten: Because this is, for whatever reason being discussed again in the tags, here’s just another reminder to everyone, and especially to my fellow survivors who see themselves in Jasper: SU has /never/ been ambiguous regarding who was in control of malachite. It was undoubtedly Lapis up until SWI, and even then you could say she and Jasper were working together to fight the CGs. Abuse by definition NEEDS to have a power imbalance between the victim and abuser. Jasper was never allowed that power, while Lapis is always described as the one who was in control, therefore Lapis was the abuser and Jasper was the victim. Victims aren’t always good people. Jasper is very much a victim of circumstance, both from the war and from Malachite. Yes, she’s abusive, but towards the corrupted gems, and has yet to be given a chance to unlearn her toxic behaviors. She’s a messy victim, she’s aggressive and angry, and there are so many survivors who act like this; and guess what, they’re still victims. Having “ugly” symptoms and feeling affection for your abuser does NOT make you the abuser of the relationship. It doesn’t undermine your abuse and certainly doesn’t justify it, no matter what vitriol this fandom tries to spew at you because you see Jasper as the victim. Abusers aren’t always going to be your enemy. They aren’t always going to be bigger than you, or physically stronger. They can be friends or family or “beach summer fun buddies”. They can be nice sometimes and absolutely terrible other times. And they can also have traumas of their own. This doesn’t change or excuse the fact that they’re abusive. Lapis is this kind of abuser. She was the one holding the chains, the one who acknowledges her own power (and fears being placed in positions of control because of it), and the one who regrets her decisions and is trying to stop being abusive. Frankly I don’t care about protagonist centered morality enough to even consider Steven’s point of view regarding Malachite. I don’t care what the CGs in the show have to say about the situation because regardless of how much of a “terrible” person Jasper is, it’s presented clearly to us who was the one being held in chains against their will. I also cannot be bothered to care about your definitions of “lashing out” or, “self-blaming”. Lapis made her intentions painfully clear that this was for revenge and wanting to take out everything on someone. She doesn’t love the earth nor does she want to play nice with the CGs. So don’t even try to tell me this because I’m frankly just /tired/ of being reminded that you people don’t actually care about victims if our behaviors or coping mechanisms are “wrong” to you. Also, of the 2 years that I’ve been involved in this hell fandom I’ve yet to see Jasper fans attack the inboxes or posts of Lapis fans to the same extent that the reverse has been done. Jasper fans don’t spread ugly rumors about Rebecca Sugar’s abuse history either, so it’s pretty ironic that WE’RE the ones who condone abuse isn’t it? tl;dr: You’re honestly disgusting if you’ve EVER tried to make a victim feel bad for liking Jasper, and I sincerely hope you grow up some day and learn that it’s not worth it to harm real people and survivors for the sake of a cartoon. And if you’re a victim who relates to Jasper, believe me when I say you aren’t alone and you aren’t a bad person. Keep doing you. ✌️
Being Alone, Bad, and Family: NEW EPISODE
 CN
 CARTOETw

 I WAS TERRIBLE TO YOU.

 I LIKED TAKING EVERYTHING OUT ON YO..
beta-kindergarten:

Because this is, for whatever reason being discussed again in the tags, here’s just another reminder to everyone, and especially to my fellow survivors who see themselves in Jasper:

SU has /never/ been ambiguous regarding who was in control of malachite. It was undoubtedly Lapis up until SWI, and even then you could say she and Jasper were working together to fight the CGs. Abuse by definition NEEDS to have a power imbalance between the victim and abuser. Jasper was never allowed that power, while Lapis is always described as the one who was in control, therefore Lapis was the abuser and Jasper was the victim.

Victims aren’t always good people. Jasper is very much a victim of circumstance, both from the war and from Malachite. Yes, she’s abusive, but towards the corrupted gems, and has yet to be given a chance to unlearn her toxic behaviors. She’s a messy victim, she’s aggressive and angry, and there are so many survivors who act like this; and guess what, they’re still victims. Having “ugly” symptoms and feeling affection for your abuser does NOT make you the abuser of the relationship. It doesn’t undermine your abuse and certainly doesn’t justify it, no matter what vitriol this fandom tries to spew at you because you see Jasper as the victim.

Abusers aren’t always going to be your enemy. They aren’t always going to be bigger than you, or physically stronger. They can be friends or family or “beach summer fun buddies”. They can be nice sometimes and absolutely terrible other times. And they can also have traumas of their own. This doesn’t change or excuse the fact that they’re abusive. Lapis is this kind of abuser. She was the one holding the chains, the one who acknowledges her own power (and fears being placed in positions of control because of it), and the one who regrets her decisions and is trying to stop being abusive. 

Frankly I don’t care about protagonist centered morality enough to even consider Steven’s point of view regarding Malachite. I don’t care what the CGs in the show have to say about the situation because regardless of how much of a “terrible” person Jasper is, it’s presented clearly to us who was the one being held in chains against their will. I also cannot be bothered to care about your definitions of “lashing out” or, “self-blaming”. Lapis made her intentions painfully clear that this was for revenge and wanting to take out everything on someone. She doesn’t love the earth nor does she want to play nice with the CGs. So don’t even try to tell me this because I’m frankly just /tired/ of being reminded that you people don’t actually care about victims if our behaviors or coping mechanisms are “wrong” to you. 

Also, of the 2 years that I’ve been involved in this hell fandom I’ve yet to see Jasper fans attack the inboxes or posts of Lapis fans to the same extent that the reverse has been done. Jasper fans don’t spread ugly rumors about Rebecca Sugar’s abuse history either, so it’s pretty ironic that WE’RE the ones who condone abuse isn’t it?

tl;dr: You’re honestly disgusting if you’ve EVER tried to make a victim feel bad for liking Jasper, and I sincerely hope you grow up some day and learn that it’s not worth it to harm real people and survivors for the sake of a cartoon. And if you’re a victim who relates to Jasper, believe me when I say you aren’t alone and you aren’t a bad person. Keep doing you. ✌️

beta-kindergarten: Because this is, for whatever reason being discussed again in the tags, here’s just another reminder to everyone, and es...

Beautiful, Chill, and Confidence: reddit Marylandman101 4y what does it feel like to do heroin 256 [deleted] 4y Actually this is an obvious question but it's not what you might think. Let me explain it to you, I've been an opiate addict for a long time and tried many drugs. Drugs that are 'uppers' have the most 'obvious' euphoria. For example if you take adderall/coke/meth/speed/MDMA you will get this shining bright euphoria, self confidence, energy, and other drug-specific feelings (for meth like you are king However, you owe these drugs back what they delivered to you. After a meth binge, or lots of MDMA use, or staying up all night on coke you will feel like shit. To an extent this aspect is similar to an alcoholic hangover. or for MDMA like you love everyone) On the other hand, for many people who experiment with heroin they are underwhelmed (not including IV usage, but most experimenters rarely ever IV first time). They just feel good, chill, happy, but they feel like this spooky drug 'heroin' hasn't delivered They are just mellow. Oh obviously it has all been a lie they will think. Heroin isn't spooky, it's chill. It's not addictive like everyone else thinks. It doesn't make you do stupid shit or stay up all day and hallucinate like amphetamines or coke. It doesn't empty your serotonin like MDMA or give you a hangover like alcohol. People tend to just think oh, what a nice drug. So the next day they wake up and everything is normal. No headache or shitty feeling--just a slight afterglow of that nice feeling. Oh it was cheap as well! It only cost $10 for a whole night of being high! I thought people said heroin was expensive? And then next weekend comes... There are all these drugs I could do but I liked heroin. It didn't 'fuck me up,' I could still think clearly. No hangover. No feeling like shit later. I still was awake. It just made me happy and content with life. Oh and it's only $10! Well, I should get some more for the whole weekend. This is great! I will use Heroin on the weekends now! Now let's say this person works and has responsibilities. He knows he can't go into work drunk, or on MDMA, or high. So he doesn't. It's actually simple. But heroin... Well the user might actually find they do better work on heroin. Instead of being sad or grumpy or depressed with his jo... he is just... happy. Mellow. Content. Everything is fine and the world is beautiful. It's raining, it's dark, I woke up at 5:30AM, I'm commuting in traffic. I would have had a headache, I would have been miserable, I would have wondered how my life took me to this point. This point I'm at right now. But no, no, everything is fine. Life is beautiful. The rain drops are just falling and in each one I see the reflection of every persons life around me. Humanity is beautiful. In this still frame shot of traffic on this crowded bus I just found love and peace Heroin is a wonder drug. Heroin is better than everything else. Heroin makes me who I wish I was. Heroin makes life worth living. Heroin is better than everything else. Heroin builds up a tolerance fast. Heroin starts to cost more money. I need heroin to feel normal. I don't love anymore. Now I'm sick. I can't afford the heroin that I need. How did $10 used to get me high? Now I need $100. That guy that let me try a few lines the first time doesn't actually deal. Oh I need to find a real dealer? This guy is a felon and carries a gun--he can sell me the drug that lets me find love in the world. No this isn't working, I need to quit. To answer your question, heroin feels nice. That's all, it just feels very nice. You can make the rest up for yourself. Attach your own half-truths to this drug that will show you the world and for a moment you will feel as clever as Faust. Edit: Thank you for the kind words. I received help and I'm doing well now. Luckily I was able to pull up and get help right before I entered the deadly downward spiral. Some of my friends have not done as well. Sorry to steal the limelight from OP 2675 Ifuxdalion 4y Reading that was more haunting than any anti-drug campaign that I've been exposed to. Thanks. A lot. 907
Beautiful, Chill, and Confidence: reddit
 Marylandman101 4y
 what does it feel like to do heroin
 256
 [deleted] 4y
 Actually this is an obvious question but it's not what you might
 think. Let me explain it to you, I've been an opiate addict for a
 long time and tried many drugs. Drugs that are 'uppers' have the
 most 'obvious' euphoria. For example if you take
 adderall/coke/meth/speed/MDMA you will get this shining bright
 euphoria, self confidence, energy, and other drug-specific feelings
 (for meth like you are king
 However, you owe these drugs back what they delivered to you.
 After a meth binge, or lots of MDMA use, or staying up all night on
 coke you will feel like shit. To an extent this aspect is similar to an
 alcoholic hangover.
 or for MDMA like you love everyone)
 On the other hand, for many people who experiment with heroin
 they are underwhelmed (not including IV usage, but most
 experimenters rarely ever IV first time). They just feel good, chill,
 happy, but they feel like this spooky drug 'heroin' hasn't delivered
 They are just mellow. Oh obviously it has all been a lie they will
 think. Heroin isn't spooky, it's chill. It's not addictive like everyone
 else thinks. It doesn't make you do stupid shit or stay up all day
 and hallucinate like amphetamines or coke. It doesn't empty your
 serotonin like MDMA or give you a hangover like alcohol. People
 tend to just think oh, what a nice drug.
 So the next day they wake up and everything is normal. No
 headache or shitty feeling--just a slight afterglow of that nice
 feeling. Oh it was cheap as well! It only cost $10 for a whole night
 of being high! I thought people said heroin was expensive? And
 then next weekend comes... There are all these drugs I could do
 but I liked heroin. It didn't 'fuck me up,' I could still think clearly. No
 hangover. No feeling like shit later. I still was awake. It just made
 me happy and content with life. Oh and it's only $10! Well, I
 should get some more for the whole weekend. This is great! I will
 use Heroin on the weekends now!

 Now let's say this person works and has responsibilities. He
 knows he can't go into work drunk, or on MDMA, or high. So he
 doesn't. It's actually simple. But heroin... Well the user might
 actually find they do better work on heroin. Instead of being sad
 or grumpy or depressed with his jo... he is just... happy. Mellow.
 Content. Everything is fine and the world is beautiful. It's raining,
 it's dark, I woke up at 5:30AM, I'm commuting in traffic. I would
 have had a headache, I would have been miserable, I would have
 wondered how my life took me to this point. This point I'm at right
 now. But no, no, everything is fine. Life is beautiful. The rain drops
 are just falling and in each one I see the reflection of every
 persons life around me. Humanity is beautiful. In this still frame
 shot of traffic on this crowded bus I just found love and peace
 Heroin is a wonder drug. Heroin is better than everything else.
 Heroin makes me who I wish I was. Heroin makes life worth
 living. Heroin is better than everything else. Heroin builds up a
 tolerance fast. Heroin starts to cost more money. I need heroin to
 feel normal. I don't love anymore. Now I'm sick. I can't afford the
 heroin that I need. How did $10 used to get me high? Now I need
 $100. That guy that let me try a few lines the first time doesn't
 actually deal. Oh I need to find a real dealer? This guy is a felon
 and carries a gun--he can sell me the drug that lets me find love
 in the world. No this isn't working, I need to quit.
 To answer your question, heroin feels nice. That's all, it just feels
 very nice. You can make the rest up for yourself. Attach your own
 half-truths to this drug that will show you the world and for a
 moment you will feel as clever as Faust.
 Edit: Thank you for the kind words. I received help and I'm doing
 well now. Luckily I was able to pull up and get help right before I
 entered the deadly downward spiral. Some of my friends have not
 done as well. Sorry to steal the limelight from OP
 2675
 Ifuxdalion 4y
 Reading that was more haunting than any anti-drug campaign
 that I've been exposed to. Thanks. A lot.
 907
God, Jedi, and Life: Technically, he wasn't supposed to be outside the Temple at all, not without Obi-Wan's permission "Technically" is just another way of saying you are breaking the rules, Obi-Wan would say. Either you obey a rule, or you do not He was devoted to his Master, yet sometimes Obi-Wan's earnestness could really get in the way. Anakin didn't believe in breaking Jedi rules. He just wanted to find the spaces between them Anakin was well aware that his Master knew of these midnight jaunts. Obi-Wan was amazingly perceptive. He could sense a shift in emotion or thought faster than an eyeblink Thank the moon and stars that Obi-Wan also preferred not to hear about his midnight trips. As long as Anakin was discreet and didn't get into trouble, Obi-Wan would turn a blind eye Anakin didn't want to trouble Obi-Wan, but he couldn't help himself. As the night wore on and the Temple quieted, as the Jedi students turned off their glow rods and settled down for night meditation and sleep, Anakin just got restless. The lure of the streets called him. There were projects he had to complete, droids he was building or refining, parts to scavenge, rusty treasures to uncover. But mostly he just needed to be outside, under the stars Only those of us who have been slaves can he sometimes thought. really taste freedom, gffa: Way of the Apprentice | by Jude WatsonI GIVE ANAKIN A LOT OF SHIT, BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS MOMENT A LOT.  I love that he feels a restlessness that the other Jedi don’t, because they grew up in a safe, secure, supportive environment, and Obi-Wan gets that Anakin isn’t quite the same and needs to run around a bit more.  It’s just FEELINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE FOR BOTH OF THEM.And I love that it shows the balance Obi-Wan is striking with Anakin–”either you obey a rule or you do not” is cutting through to the spirit of things, but that’s not necessarily a judgement thing.  Obi-Wan himself is “breaking the rules” by turning a blind eye to Anakin going out at night, because it’s for the good.  It fits so much with how it’s not about the letter of the law but about the spirit and intention of what you’re doing, the motivation behind it, the why of it, the bigger context of it.  That’s why it’s important to put in that Obi-Wan could sense the shift of an emotion in the blink of an eye, why it’s tied into the same context of Obi-Wan turning a blind eye when Anakin genuinely does need to get out and move.And I love that Anakin recognizes this part about himself.  He spends so much of his life not really understanding himself or what he really needs, that this moment of something that actually seems to help, along with how heartbreaking it is that he has to experience this feeling at all, just makes me allp.s. “Obi-Wan was amazingly perceptive.  He could sense the shift in emotion or thought faster than an eyeblink.” oh my god Anakin sounds EXACTLY LIKE ME when I talk about Obi-Wan, “He’s the greatest person who ever lived, he’s the smartest person who ever lived, THERE IS NO ONE BETTER.”SAME, ANAKIN.  SAME.  RIGHT DOWN TO I AM MAKING THE SAME EXACT FACE WHILE READING THIS BOOK.
God, Jedi, and Life: Technically, he wasn't supposed to be outside the Temple at all,
 not without Obi-Wan's permission
 "Technically" is just another way of saying you are breaking the
 rules, Obi-Wan would say. Either you obey a rule, or you do not
 He was devoted to his Master, yet sometimes Obi-Wan's
 earnestness could really get in the way. Anakin didn't believe in
 breaking Jedi rules. He just wanted to find the spaces between
 them
 Anakin was well aware that his Master knew of these
 midnight jaunts. Obi-Wan was amazingly perceptive. He could
 sense a shift in emotion or
 thought faster than an eyeblink
 Thank the moon and stars that Obi-Wan also preferred not to
 hear about his midnight trips. As long as Anakin was discreet
 and didn't get into trouble, Obi-Wan would turn a blind eye
 Anakin didn't want to trouble Obi-Wan, but he couldn't help
 himself. As the night wore on and the Temple quieted, as the
 Jedi students turned off their glow rods and settled down for
 night meditation and sleep, Anakin just got restless. The lure of
 the streets called him. There were projects he had to complete,
 droids he was building or refining, parts to scavenge, rusty
 treasures to uncover. But mostly he just needed to be outside,
 under the stars
 Only those of us who have been slaves can
 he sometimes thought.
 really taste freedom,
gffa:



Way of the Apprentice | by Jude WatsonI GIVE ANAKIN A LOT OF SHIT, BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS MOMENT A LOT.  I love that he feels a restlessness that the other Jedi don’t, because they grew up in a safe, secure, supportive environment, and Obi-Wan gets that Anakin isn’t quite the same and needs to run around a bit more.  It’s just FEELINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE FOR BOTH OF THEM.And I love that it shows the balance Obi-Wan is striking with Anakin–”either you obey a rule or you do not” is cutting through to the spirit of things, but that’s not necessarily a judgement thing.  Obi-Wan himself is “breaking the rules” by turning a blind eye to Anakin going out at night, because it’s for the good.  It fits so much with how it’s not about the letter of the law but about the spirit and intention of what you’re doing, the motivation behind it, the why of it, the bigger context of it.  That’s why it’s important to put in that Obi-Wan could sense the shift of an emotion in the blink of an eye, why it’s tied into the same context of Obi-Wan turning a blind eye when Anakin genuinely does need to get out and move.And I love that Anakin recognizes this part about himself.  He spends so much of his life not really understanding himself or what he really needs, that this moment of something that actually seems to help, along with how heartbreaking it is that he has to experience this feeling at all, just makes me allp.s. “Obi-Wan was amazingly perceptive.  He could sense the shift in emotion or thought faster than an eyeblink.” oh my god Anakin sounds EXACTLY LIKE ME when I talk about Obi-Wan, “He’s the greatest person who ever lived, he’s the smartest person who ever lived, THERE IS NO ONE BETTER.”SAME, ANAKIN.  SAME.  RIGHT DOWN TO I AM MAKING THE SAME EXACT FACE WHILE READING THIS BOOK.

gffa: Way of the Apprentice | by Jude WatsonI GIVE ANAKIN A LOT OF SHIT, BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS MOMENT A LOT.  I love that he feels a res...