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Apparently, Ass, and Drunk: snarling-through-our-smiles I once lost my keys at a frat house. My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let in by my rightfully- disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to pass out on the couch. Apparently I puked in the toilet before passing out do not remember The next morning, I schlepped back to the frat house. I stood there, right in front of the front door. This was a novel experience for me. I'd never been at a frat house in broad daylight before. A boy, presumably, of the house, asked me what I was doing. "I lost my keys in here last night, I called back. "I was seeing if I could go in and look for them?" He opened the door and gestured for me o come in. "Go wherever you want." I'd never seen a frat house post-party Derore. Wandering up the stairs a by hungover and still-drunk frat boys sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food and showers like moths to a porch light. A few of them threw puzzled glances my way. I'm sure they thought I was some post-bacchanalia hallucination. I entered one room where a boy was drunkenly watching some Old Yeller- esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of his room from his bed. "Do you like dog movies?" he asked, voice from the fact that his face was squished against his pillow and half-buried by his blanket. I told him I did. e mumbled again, pleased, and asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking my keys. "Sorry, I haven't seen any keys around bere I didn't doubt him. Twenty minutes had passed. I'd searched just about every bedroom and nuclear- at dumn-site of a bathroom in that house. I'd given up on ever finding my keys and was prepared to beg my roommates' forgiveness and get a new set copied. As I stood there in the hallway, silently a particularly burly frat boy approached me. "You need help with something? "I lost my keys here last night and I can't find them, I've looked everywhere. "What do they look like? I'll put it into the group chat. He was already pulling out his phone. No one ever checks a group chat, I thought, but what the hell. It was worth a shot. "Um, it's just a ring of keys. The keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like yea big. Like bright pink, you can't miss He nodded, presumably typing this description faithfully into the group chat. "Alright, I sent the message out. Good luck. e turned and left. And with that, A few moments later, I heard a distant and it was getting louder and louder, One assumes that how I felt in that moment was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest stampede through the ravine as a horde large young men all thundered down the stairs, making a beeling for me. "Someone tell the girl!" One of them shouted, faceless in the mob. "Girl! Hey, GIRL! We found your keys, girl!!! They circled around me. I hadn't felt that old, One of them split himself off from the crowd. "Are these -"he pulled out a ring of keys from his pocket, "your keys? And lo, there was the distinctive bright millennial pink cat keychain dangling off the ring. "Yes,"I whispered. "Oh my god, yes." "EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYY!!" The cheer went up. Turns out he found them in the bathroom upstairs. I thanked them again profusely. There was a scattered round of "no problems" and then, just suddenly as they descended, they all dispersed, like ships in the night. gatorfisch THIS is boys will be boys Nice Frathouse
Apparently, Ass, and Drunk: snarling-through-our-smiles
 I once lost my keys at a frat house.
 My drunk ass had actually walked home
 without them, pounded on my apartment
 door, gotten let in by my rightfully-
 disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to
 pass out on the couch. Apparently I
 puked in the toilet before passing out
 do not remember
 The next morning, I schlepped back to the
 frat house. I stood there, right in front of
 the front door. This was a novel
 experience for me. I'd never been at a frat
 house in broad daylight before.
 A boy, presumably, of the house, asked
 me what I was doing.
 "I lost my keys in here last night, I called
 back. "I was seeing if I could go in and
 look for them?"
 He opened the door and gestured for me
 o come in.
 "Go wherever you want."
 I'd never seen a frat house post-party
 Derore. Wandering up the stairs a
 by
 hungover and still-drunk frat boys
 sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food
 and showers like moths to a porch light.
 A few of them threw puzzled glances my
 way. I'm sure they thought I was some
 post-bacchanalia hallucination.
 I entered one room where a boy was
 drunkenly watching some Old Yeller-
 esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of
 his room from his bed.
 "Do you like dog movies?" he asked, voice
 from the fact that his face was squished
 against his pillow and half-buried by his
 blanket.
 I told him I did.
 e mumbled again, pleased, and asked
 what I was doing. I told him I was looking
 my keys.
 "Sorry, I haven't seen any keys around
 bere
 I didn't doubt him.
 Twenty minutes had passed. I'd searched
 just about every bedroom and nuclear-
 at dumn-site of a bathroom in that
 house. I'd given up on ever finding my
 keys and was prepared to beg my
 roommates' forgiveness and get a new
 set copied.
 As I stood there in the hallway, silently
 a particularly
 burly frat boy approached me.
 "You need help with something?
 "I lost my keys here last night and I can't
 find them, I've looked everywhere.
 "What do they look like? I'll put it into the
 group chat. He was already pulling out
 his phone.
 No one ever checks a group chat, I
 thought, but what the hell. It was worth a
 shot. "Um, it's just a ring of keys. The
 keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like
 yea big. Like bright pink, you can't miss
 He nodded, presumably typing this
 description faithfully into the group chat.
 "Alright, I sent the message out. Good
 luck.
 e turned and left.
 And with that,
 A few moments later, I heard a distant
 and it was getting louder and louder, One
 assumes that how I felt in that moment
 was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest
 stampede through the ravine as a horde
 large young men all thundered down
 the stairs, making a beeling for me.
 "Someone tell the girl!" One of them
 shouted, faceless in the mob. "Girl! Hey,
 GIRL! We found your keys, girl!!!
 They circled around me. I hadn't felt that
 old, One of them split himself off from
 the crowd.
 "Are these -"he pulled out a ring of keys
 from his pocket, "your keys?
 And lo, there was the distinctive bright
 millennial pink cat keychain dangling off
 the ring.
 "Yes,"I whispered. "Oh my god, yes."
 "EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
 YYYYYYYYYY!!"
 The cheer went up.
 Turns out he found them in the bathroom
 upstairs. I thanked them again profusely.
 There was a scattered round of "no
 problems" and then, just
 suddenly as
 they descended, they all dispersed, like
 ships in the night.
 gatorfisch
 THIS is boys will be boys
Nice Frathouse

Nice Frathouse

4chan, Bad, and Be Like: snakegay why does so much post apocalypse media have people wearing straight up bdsm/fetish gear like. do the kinksters watch the world ending and think oh boy i can wear my bondage gear in public now" skelefolk thats actually exactly what happens broliloquy What I wanna know is why the spiky kink warriors are always the bad evi marauders. They might be into some weird shit and unafraid to show it but that doesn't mean they want to go around killing dudes. They're a tight-knit bunch. A lot of them are queer. They understand the importance of community If the government collapses and all laws come to an end, the people rampaging around killing and looting are gonna be like, frat boys and 4chan rejects. You can mistrust the bondage raiders all you like but they're definitely the ones you're going to run to for help when the neoliberal blood cultists and Nazi meme demons lay siege to your survivor enclave. There's gonna be gayboy berserkers busting up slaver gangs and burning down warboy frat houses. The assless-chaps leather daddies and weird petplay people are gonna be the accidental peacekeepers of the post-apocalyptic world just because they're the only motherfuckers who understand the importance of consent anymore Listen. Don't come to me asking how to get the secret cadre of bisexual death commandoes to protect your wretched tent village if you're scared that we might call in the kinksters for backup. I don't give a shit if they dress up like dogs and spend all day writing poems about butt plugs. There's assholes out there acting like Viad the Impaler on a meth bender and you're afraid of seeing a nipple. Fuck you. If you really want to get rid of the MRA death gangs you're going to have to accept that a lesbian chainsaw dominatrix or two might be invoived. its the tucking post-apocalypse my guy we gotta weigh our priorities here Source snakegay BDSMageddon
4chan, Bad, and Be Like: snakegay
 why does so much post apocalypse media have people wearing straight up
 bdsm/fetish gear like. do the kinksters watch the world ending and think oh
 boy i can wear my bondage gear in public now"
 skelefolk
 thats actually exactly what happens
 broliloquy
 What I wanna know is why the spiky kink warriors are always the bad evi
 marauders. They might be into some weird shit and unafraid to show it but that
 doesn't mean they want to go around killing dudes. They're a tight-knit bunch.
 A lot of them are queer. They understand the importance of community
 If the government collapses and all laws come to an end, the people
 rampaging around killing and looting are gonna be like, frat boys and 4chan
 rejects. You can mistrust the bondage raiders all you like but they're definitely
 the ones you're going to run to for help when the neoliberal blood cultists and
 Nazi meme demons lay siege to your survivor enclave. There's gonna be
 gayboy berserkers busting up slaver gangs and burning down warboy frat
 houses. The assless-chaps leather daddies and weird petplay people are
 gonna be the accidental peacekeepers of the post-apocalyptic world just
 because they're the only motherfuckers who understand the importance of
 consent anymore
 Listen. Don't come to me asking how to get the secret cadre of bisexual death
 commandoes to protect your wretched tent village if you're scared that we
 might call in the kinksters for backup. I don't give a shit if they dress up like
 dogs and spend all day writing poems about butt plugs. There's assholes out
 there acting like Viad the Impaler on a meth bender and you're afraid of seeing
 a nipple. Fuck you. If you really want to get rid of the MRA death gangs you're
 going to have to accept that a lesbian chainsaw dominatrix or two might be
 invoived. its the tucking post-apocalypse my guy we gotta weigh our priorities
 here
 Source snakegay
BDSMageddon

BDSMageddon

Ass, Beer, and Condom: 41 .d 70% 1:17 AM Saturday 1140 PM all i want to know is if that pic is photoshopped oh fuck wait the rest of them are i didn't even notice that Or maybe l actually died in a selfie related shark attack In 2018 anything's possible fr tho you got some quality photoshop skills Though my usual Tinder claim to fame is my poetry writing Gimme a format pick between Shakespearean sonnet or Dr Seuss poem and then l'd need a topic oh shit seuss for sure write aboutittt stupid frat boys Today 1:13 AM At Who University's campus downtown, studious students awaited sundown For during the day they're the learning ish sort. but after night fell? Watch Fraternity At Sigma Ki Kappa Phi Epsilon Nu a Vineyard-Vine chino store stepped into view A stack of red cups looming tall on his the Cat in the Frat prowled for Whogirls He saw a lone girl and assessed her cup size and then, in this order, gawked ass, chest and eyes He waltzed in on over and offered her and said "come with me, oh the places you'll cum! They snuck to a bedroom and passed Mister Grinch whose hazing machine dragged six pledges by winch. Its arms and its knobs fed the pledges and doubly increased their fraternity Just by the hazing in haze of his own, the Lorax sat still undeniably stoned. A pledge wandered up.. 'there's something I need. The Lorax did smile: 1 speak for the We ve got Xannys and Mollys and cocaine galore and ketamine, mushrooms and DMT-4 There's indicas, indigos, everywhich and every eigth bought, have a free hit of speed Horton popped pills called Pill 1 and Pill and then followed up with Pill Red and Pill Blue His world washed away as he tripped for three hours hearing small voices that spoke from puff fiowers. The Cat in the Frat roled off well what's-her-name and let her slip out with red visible He looked at his sheets and saw stains left by beer, and thought should I was them? Oh, maybe next year He'd wanted a girl from each stop on Srat Row with Ki Frappa Sig down just five more to go, He put back the condom he told her he'd wear And then set on foot for the cleanup The party had ended and Whos had gone home, with red cup footsteps creaking sticky beer foam Sprawled on the floor was that poor Sam I Am, and someone's puked-up rancid green eggs and ham. The Cat in the Frat called the cleaning which rolled and ka-sputtered its way through the scene Its arms and gloved hands dusted swept, and wipe dried and even did know to turn Sam on his At Sigma Ki Kappa Phi Epsilon Nu, The party lifecycle began thus anew. Tuesday was done and yet Wednesday drew near... The Cat had to run and go buy some more beer THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING OH MY FUCKINF GOD I LVOE YOU Type a message Frat Life
Ass, Beer, and Condom: 41
 .d 70% 1:17 AM
 Saturday 1140 PM
 all i want to know
 is if that pic is photoshopped
 oh fuck wait the rest of them are i
 didn't even notice that
 Or maybe l actually died in a selfie
 related shark attack
 In 2018 anything's possible
 fr tho
 you got some quality photoshop skills
 Though my usual Tinder claim to fame
 is my poetry writing
 Gimme a format pick between
 Shakespearean sonnet or Dr Seuss
 poem and then l'd need a topic
 oh shit
 seuss for sure
 write aboutittt
 stupid frat boys
 Today 1:13 AM
 At Who University's campus downtown,
 studious students awaited sundown
 For during the day they're the learning
 ish sort.
 but after night fell? Watch Fraternity
 At Sigma Ki Kappa Phi Epsilon Nu
 a Vineyard-Vine chino store stepped
 into view
 A stack of red cups looming tall on his
 the Cat in the Frat prowled for Whogirls
 He saw a lone girl and assessed her
 cup size
 and then, in this order, gawked ass,
 chest and eyes
 He waltzed in on over and offered her
 and said "come with me, oh the places
 you'll cum!
 They snuck to a bedroom and passed
 Mister Grinch
 whose hazing machine dragged six
 pledges by winch.
 Its arms and its knobs fed the pledges
 and doubly increased their fraternity
 Just by the hazing in haze of his own,
 the Lorax sat still undeniably stoned.
 A pledge wandered up.. 'there's
 something I need.
 The Lorax did smile: 1 speak for the
 We ve got Xannys and Mollys and
 cocaine galore
 and ketamine, mushrooms and DMT-4
 There's indicas, indigos, everywhich
 and every eigth bought, have a free hit
 of speed
 Horton popped pills called Pill 1 and Pill
 and then followed up with Pill Red and
 Pill Blue
 His world washed away as he tripped
 for three hours
 hearing small voices that spoke from
 puff fiowers.
 The Cat in the Frat roled off well
 what's-her-name
 and let her slip out with red visible
 He looked at his sheets and saw stains
 left by beer,
 and thought should I was them? Oh,
 maybe next year
 He'd wanted a girl from each stop on
 Srat Row
 with Ki Frappa Sig down just five more
 to go,
 He put back the condom he told her
 he'd wear
 And then set on foot for the cleanup
 The party had ended and Whos had
 gone home,
 with red cup footsteps creaking sticky
 beer foam
 Sprawled on the floor was that poor
 Sam I Am,
 and someone's puked-up rancid green
 eggs and ham.
 The Cat in the Frat called the cleaning
 which rolled and ka-sputtered its way
 through the scene
 Its arms and gloved hands dusted
 swept, and wipe dried
 and even did know to turn Sam on his
 At Sigma Ki Kappa Phi Epsilon Nu,
 The party lifecycle began thus anew.
 Tuesday was done and yet Wednesday
 drew near...
 The Cat had to run and go buy some
 more beer
 THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING
 OH MY FUCKINF GOD
 I LVOE YOU
 Type a message
Frat Life

Frat Life

Af, Ass, and Back to Back: Oh hello there Drsmashlove Shout to u pretty young ladies that's gon show up to brunch in a hoodie with the hood up, I fucks with y'all. That hood up tells me everything I need to know. Don't tell me the story - I know it already. (1) It was either your birthday or your best friend's birthday or it was nobody birthday but your name is Kirsten (girls named Kirsten go hard every weekend, and most weekdays. There's no explanation for this. It's just factual. If your name is Kirsten u will go absolutely hard AF on a Tuesday for no reason. Not even Fat Tuesday. Just like, next Tuesday. But I digress.). (2) The night started with shots when some frat boys offered to buy u and your squad a round and it snowballed from there. (3) Tables were danced on. (4) Undergarments were removed and u briefly paused because you're on your period, so it stands to reason that panties should be worn for the rest of the night, but u flung them anyway. (5) Karaoke was sung; likely six (6) Rihanna songs back to back. (6) Oral sex occurred in the back of a UBER. (6) Half of the shenanigans were documented on a well-edited snap story. To all u girls in hoodies with the hood up, still marinating in a mix of perspiration and sex fluids from last night, I salute y'all. U made it to brunch. The Angel of Death literally carried u to the restaurant so u could have your egg white omelette and wheat toast. Rest assured baby girl if I see u and your squad, u exactly the girl imma talk to. Your friend Emily who showered and applied make-up? She got nothing I want. That's too much preparation. Too put together. Imma come directly to u, get your number, date u, and then propose to u, so when we at the rehearsal dinner at Girl and the Goat, Emily can be all "SMASH MET KIRSTEN WHEN WE WERE AT BRUNCH AT SNAGGLETOOTH ON SOUTHPORT. KIRSTEN WAS A LITERAL MESS LOL - LIKE I CAN'T EVEN SAY WHAT HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE - BUT LET'S JUST SAY SHE WAS IN ROUGH SHAPE LOLOL." Exactly, Emily. Go head. Embarrass TF out of Kirsten. All that crazy she did before me just make me love her crazy ass more 😍. She led a crazy life but she mines now...Till the Angel of Death ⚰️ (or divorce court 💰) do us part. Bless up! 🆗😍😂😂😂
Af, Ass, and Back to Back: Oh hello there
 Drsmashlove
Shout to u pretty young ladies that's gon show up to brunch in a hoodie with the hood up, I fucks with y'all. That hood up tells me everything I need to know. Don't tell me the story - I know it already. (1) It was either your birthday or your best friend's birthday or it was nobody birthday but your name is Kirsten (girls named Kirsten go hard every weekend, and most weekdays. There's no explanation for this. It's just factual. If your name is Kirsten u will go absolutely hard AF on a Tuesday for no reason. Not even Fat Tuesday. Just like, next Tuesday. But I digress.). (2) The night started with shots when some frat boys offered to buy u and your squad a round and it snowballed from there. (3) Tables were danced on. (4) Undergarments were removed and u briefly paused because you're on your period, so it stands to reason that panties should be worn for the rest of the night, but u flung them anyway. (5) Karaoke was sung; likely six (6) Rihanna songs back to back. (6) Oral sex occurred in the back of a UBER. (6) Half of the shenanigans were documented on a well-edited snap story. To all u girls in hoodies with the hood up, still marinating in a mix of perspiration and sex fluids from last night, I salute y'all. U made it to brunch. The Angel of Death literally carried u to the restaurant so u could have your egg white omelette and wheat toast. Rest assured baby girl if I see u and your squad, u exactly the girl imma talk to. Your friend Emily who showered and applied make-up? She got nothing I want. That's too much preparation. Too put together. Imma come directly to u, get your number, date u, and then propose to u, so when we at the rehearsal dinner at Girl and the Goat, Emily can be all "SMASH MET KIRSTEN WHEN WE WERE AT BRUNCH AT SNAGGLETOOTH ON SOUTHPORT. KIRSTEN WAS A LITERAL MESS LOL - LIKE I CAN'T EVEN SAY WHAT HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE - BUT LET'S JUST SAY SHE WAS IN ROUGH SHAPE LOLOL." Exactly, Emily. Go head. Embarrass TF out of Kirsten. All that crazy she did before me just make me love her crazy ass more 😍. She led a crazy life but she mines now...Till the Angel of Death ⚰️ (or divorce court 💰) do us part. Bless up! 🆗😍😂😂😂

Shout to u pretty young ladies that's gon show up to brunch in a hoodie with the hood up, I fucks with y'all. That hood up tells me everythi...

Boxing, Frat Boy, and Memes: Reasons why Ive been asked to leave class said that the government was a bunch of dick heads and we should all just set the white house on fire and kept calling students who tried to defend the government dick heads in training brought 6 whole pizzas in their boxes to class and was blocking the view of students I kept sneezing during a lecture Got really mad at some guy who wouldnt shut the hell up behind me and was flirting with some girl so i told him to shut the fuck up and she doesnt want to suck your dick and to take his frat boy ass and move. Was signing dirty words and funny shit to my deaf friend and making him laugh. But because he's deaf he didnt realize how loud he was being so we both got asked to leave poured water on some kids test after iwas done with mine because i saw him copying off me the whole time. Kept cussing too much during a socratic seminar about censorship to prove a point, and when they got mad at me i said "You trying to censor my words?" made toast had a dog in my backpack and said i had to take him to the vet after the class and didnt have time to run home and get him. he puked on the floor. which is why he had to go to the vet city ofharran wait i forgot the time i made a shirt with my professors face on in and the moment i walked in and before i even sat down he pointed to the door and said for Qods sake can we have one dav without this shit? ok ok but fr if i did i live thing would anyone watch!? -maeve❤❤
Boxing, Frat Boy, and Memes: Reasons why Ive been asked to
 leave class
 said that the government was a bunch of dick heads and we should all
 just set the white house on fire and kept calling students who tried to
 defend the government dick heads in training
 brought 6 whole pizzas in their boxes to class and was blocking the view
 of students
 I kept sneezing during a lecture
 Got really mad at some guy who wouldnt shut the hell up behind me and
 was flirting with some girl so i told him to shut the fuck up and she
 doesnt want to suck your dick and to take his frat boy ass and move.
 Was signing dirty words and funny shit to my deaf friend and making him
 laugh. But because he's deaf he didnt realize how loud he was being so
 we both got asked to leave
 poured water on some kids test after iwas done with mine because i
 saw him copying off me the whole time.
 Kept cussing too much during a socratic seminar about censorship to
 prove a point, and when they got mad at me i said "You trying to censor
 my words?"
 made toast
 had a dog in my backpack and said i had to take him to the vet after the
 class and didnt have time to run home and get him. he puked on the
 floor. which is why he had to go to the vet
 city ofharran
 wait i forgot the time i made a shirt with my professors face on in and the
 moment i walked in and before i even sat down he pointed to the door and
 said for Qods sake can we have one dav without this shit?
ok ok but fr if i did i live thing would anyone watch!? -maeve❤❤

ok ok but fr if i did i live thing would anyone watch!? -maeve❤❤