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Books, Dating, and Dogs: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti Follow I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page. LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words. LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch LAWYER (CONT D) If so, you can act entitled for money. I'11 help. I graduated from Lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs Words scroll across bottom of the screen These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSİC TOO CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIVORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. LAWYER (CONT D) I have been a awyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun. We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge's gavel for you. The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth LAWYER (CONT D) We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado LAWYER (CONT D) unless you pay us money. Call for a The phone digits appear. It's your social security number My clients never go to jail town. Remember, you don't pay any money free use of phone This lol has worth.
Books, Dating, and Dogs: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 Follow
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of lawyer commercials and then asked it
 to write a lawyer commercial of its own.
 Here is the first page.
 LAWYER COMMERCIAL
 INT. FIRM LAW ROOM
 A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are
 very wide. They have eaten too many words.
 LAWYER
 Have you been hurt in an accidental
 car? Has the government sold your
 lungs without asking nicely? Are
 you Mesothelioma? Answer me!
 The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the
 justice fruit only lawyers may touch
 LAWYER (CONT D)
 If so, you can act entitled for
 money. I'11 help. I graduated from
 Lawn school and all my teachers
 were bitten by dogs
 Words scroll across bottom of the screen These are cases the
 lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSİC TOO
 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIVORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS.
 LAWYER (CONT D)
 I have been a awyer for over 35
 weekends and I'm currently dating
 the Bill of Rights for fun.
 We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will
 break its heart. There's nothing we can do.
 LAWYER (CONT D)
 Let me use it to send your asbestos
 to court. I will wear two suits and
 I promise to steal the judge's
 gavel for you.
 The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of
 gavels pour out. His promise has worth
 LAWYER (CONT D)
 We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado
 LAWYER (CONT D)
 unless you pay us money. Call for a
 The phone digits appear. It's your social security number
 My clients never go to jail town.
 Remember, you don't pay any money
 free use of phone
This lol has worth.

This lol has worth.

Bad, Blunts, and Dad: 50% COOL WAYS TO SAY ND TO WEED 1. Are you kidding me? Grow up 26.1 was raised right, I won't light. 2. Ganja is for goons, no thanks. 27. I'd like to keep my job, thanks. 3. Get a job you hippie wastoid. 28. You wish, pot junker! Back off 4. No thanks, I'm a good person. 29. I'm calling the Coast Guard 5.You need to go to jail, hempo. 30. No tokes for me. l'm cool 6. My dad told me better, no way. 31. Leave me be, you blunt blazer! 7. Grass is crass, also gross! Nol 32. No, I'm as clean as a whistle. 8. Uhhh.. no thanks loser! 9. Get away from me, THC addict. 34. I'll pass on your pot offer. 10. Yeah right, I'm way too smart. 35. Cannabis is crap, you cretin! 11. Let me think... No way, never. 36. Pish posh, pot is for the birds! 12. No. You are trash if you toke. 37. Nope. THC is not for me. 13. Back off, bucko. You're bad. 38. Step out of my zone, now. 14. I would rather not, okay? 39. Get off my case, weed stoner 15. Injecting weed is for dummies. 40. Nuh uh, I respect the police. 16. I will never do one toke. 17. Absolutely not, I love myself. 42. NOI Blunts are for bad men. 18. Get a grip you sativa snorter 43. I'd rather not die. Tokes kill. 19. Bugger off, you bong addict 44. No, weeds are for whacking. 20. I will use my taser on yu. 45. Marijuana is for morons, ok? 21. What do I look like? A failure 46. Are you serious? Get a life. 22. Nah, bongs are wrong 23. No way Hemp is horible 48. Stoners are loners. I'm good 24. I'd rather not be a canniba. 49. Nope! Spliffs are for wimps 25.I don't think so, l'm 33. That's a death "roach." No. 41. Lay off,I isten to the law. ay o 47. You're domb if you do "dank." m nice. 50. No, man. I follow MMYV www.facebook.com/MMYVofficial 13/10 choose 20 and 29!
Bad, Blunts, and Dad: 50%
 COOL
 WAYS TO SAY ND TO WEED
 1. Are you kidding me? Grow up 26.1 was raised right, I won't light.
 2. Ganja is for goons, no thanks. 27. I'd like to keep my job, thanks.
 3. Get a job you hippie wastoid. 28. You wish, pot junker! Back off
 4. No thanks, I'm a good person. 29. I'm calling the Coast Guard
 5.You need to go to jail, hempo. 30. No tokes for me. l'm cool
 6. My dad told me better, no way. 31. Leave me be, you blunt blazer!
 7. Grass is crass, also gross! Nol 32. No, I'm as clean as a whistle.
 8. Uhhh.. no thanks loser!
 9. Get away from me, THC addict. 34. I'll pass on your pot offer.
 10. Yeah right, I'm way too smart. 35. Cannabis is crap, you cretin!
 11. Let me think... No way, never. 36. Pish posh, pot is for the birds!
 12. No. You are trash if you toke. 37. Nope. THC is not for me.
 13. Back off, bucko. You're bad. 38. Step out of my zone, now.
 14. I would rather not, okay? 39. Get off my case, weed stoner
 15. Injecting weed is for dummies. 40. Nuh uh, I respect the police.
 16. I will never do one toke.
 17. Absolutely not, I love myself. 42. NOI Blunts are for bad men.
 18. Get a grip you sativa snorter 43. I'd rather not die. Tokes kill.
 19. Bugger off, you bong addict 44. No, weeds are for whacking.
 20. I will use my taser on yu. 45. Marijuana is for morons, ok?
 21. What do I look like? A failure 46. Are you serious? Get a life.
 22. Nah, bongs are wrong
 23. No way Hemp is horible 48. Stoners are loners. I'm good
 24. I'd rather not be a canniba. 49. Nope! Spliffs are for wimps
 25.I don't think so, l'm
 33. That's a death "roach." No.
 41. Lay off,I isten to the law.
 ay o
 47. You're domb if you do "dank."
 m nice. 50. No, man. I follow MMYV
 www.facebook.com/MMYVofficial
13/10 choose 20 and 29!

13/10 choose 20 and 29!