Goldfish


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

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    Ariana Grande, Ass, and Beyonce: Beyonce: *breathes*
 30 year old mothers and gay niggas:
 @jxremixh
I think on Thursday or some shit my school has a motivational speaker come in and talk to all the students in that grade. They started this type of thing last year cause a lot of kids were killing themselves or something lol. Anyway the school deadass pays some middle aged balding white man to come in and talk to us about life and shit. Like nigga 99.9% of the kids in my grade wanna die lmaooo. Anyway last year all 900 kids in the sophomore class filed into the auditorium to listen to the speaker for 45 minutes straight. For the first like 30 minutes, I was fucking sleep. Shit was so boring bruh on my dead goldfish Jeremy. How you gon be a motivational speaker and sound like you wanna die yourself? Nigga voice was flatter than Ariana Grande ass. Anyway for the last 15 minutes, he took questions from the students. Now THIS is where it got interesting 💀 So y’all know my nigga Aaron right? He wasn’t sitting next to me at the time but this nigga raises his hand. For some reason, they hand this nigga the microphone so the whole auditorium can hear it. “Yeah I got one question. Let’s say you’re online dating a girl and when y’all meet up, she got a weewee bigger than yours. How do cope with that?” I mean yeah at first it was funny 💀 but then security grabbed his ass and he got suspended for like a week. BUT THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON WHO RAISES THEIR HAND MAKES ME WANNA SET A FUCKING SHORT BUS ON FIRE. This bitch Sara , who’s right next to me, takes the microphone and as soon as she starts speaking I wanted to fucking die. Her voice would single handedly make suicide rates go up. “So recently my brother passed away and-“ OH NAH 💀 yo I’m so sorry but it was so hard not to fucking laugh I was almost crying. “-and recently I’ve been really depressed and sometimes I even stare at the knives in my kitchen drawers and think about cutting myself-“ I COULDNT HOLD IT BRUH 😭😭 a nigga started DYINGGG as she was fucking talking 😭 she stops speaking and everybody starts staring at me. “Is something funny?” Omfg I wanted to punch her in the neck, I CANT STRESS HOW ANNOYING HER VOICE IS. Anyway I stop laughing and compose myself. “Nah go ahead.” Bitch voice a whole genjutsu bruh
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Ariana Grande, Ass, and Beyonce: Beyonce: *breathes*
 30 year old mothers and gay niggas:
 @jxremixh
I think on Thursday or some shit my school has a motivational speaker come in and talk to all the students in that grade. They started this type of thing last year cause a lot of kids were killing themselves or something lol. Anyway the school deadass pays some middle aged balding white man to come in and talk to us about life and shit. Like nigga 99.9% of the kids in my grade wanna die lmaooo. Anyway last year all 900 kids in the sophomore class filed into the auditorium to listen to the speaker for 45 minutes straight. For the first like 30 minutes, I was fucking sleep. Shit was so boring bruh on my dead goldfish Jeremy. How you gon be a motivational speaker and sound like you wanna die yourself? Nigga voice was flatter than Ariana Grande ass. Anyway for the last 15 minutes, he took questions from the students. Now THIS is where it got interesting 💀 So y’all know my nigga Aaron right? He wasn’t sitting next to me at the time but this nigga raises his hand. For some reason, they hand this nigga the microphone so the whole auditorium can hear it. “Yeah I got one question. Let’s say you’re online dating a girl and when y’all meet up, she got a weewee bigger than yours. How do cope with that?” I mean yeah at first it was funny 💀 but then security grabbed his ass and he got suspended for like a week. BUT THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON WHO RAISES THEIR HAND MAKES ME WANNA SET A FUCKING SHORT BUS ON FIRE. This bitch Sara , who’s right next to me, takes the microphone and as soon as she starts speaking I wanted to fucking die. Her voice would single handedly make suicide rates go up. “So recently my brother passed away and-“ OH NAH 💀 yo I’m so sorry but it was so hard not to fucking laugh I was almost crying. “-and recently I’ve been really depressed and sometimes I even stare at the knives in my kitchen drawers and think about cutting myself-“ I COULDNT HOLD IT BRUH 😭😭 a nigga started DYINGGG as she was fucking talking 😭 she stops speaking and everybody starts staring at me. “Is something funny?” Omfg I wanted to punch her in the neck, I CANT STRESS HOW ANNOYING HER VOICE IS. Anyway I stop laughing and compose myself. “Nah go ahead.” Bitch voice a whole genjutsu bruh
                
            

            
            
I think on Thursday or some shit my school has a motivational speaker come in and talk to all the students in that grade. They started this ...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Anime, Ass, and Bruh: "ls this a person with decent
 music?"
 "No, this is a SoundCloud rapper."
 ORDEK
 HERE
 @typicalterome
Back on my caption shit: "Aye Free Tay K bruh." "Didn't he kill like 2 people?" "And?" *door opens* "Dinner is ready." "Bet." *goes downstairs and sits at dinner table with family* "Itadakimasu!" "Bruh you gotta stop watching anime." "ShutchobitchassupTroy." "Boys! Quit arguing at the table. Terome, how was work?" "It was garbage. This lady asked for a Cobb salad without Cobb. I wanted to slap her on my dead goldfish." "You ain't got a dead goldfish." "Who asked you?" "Troy, how was your day?" "It was ight, Mom. I don't know why you always ask us that at the table." "Why do I ask you that? It's a parents job to make sure their kids are happy and doing the right thin-" "Shutcho 'well ackshually' ass up Janet." "For real Dad, she talk to much." *Mom stares at her plate and shakes* "You big mad or little mad?" Dad said. *shaking intensifies* "Damn look at her face, she mad asf." "I dare you to poke her." "Hell nah I ain't suicidal." "Don't test me David..." Mom says through her teeth. "Janet I've tested this food and it tastes like a homeless nigga." "Holup, how you know what that tastes like?" "Don't ask question you don't want the answer to, Terome." "O." "THATS IT!" *Mom stands up and marches back upstairs* "Guess she was big mad." Troy said. *rattling from upstairs* "Tf is she doing?" *footsteps coming down the stairs* "I've had it with you 3..." *Mom points a 9mm at us* "Hey I was saving that for school!" "Aye if you gon shoot anybody, make sure it's me first." *all 3 stare at Troy* "What? I run a meme page."
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Anime, Ass, and Bruh: "ls this a person with decent
 music?"
 "No, this is a SoundCloud rapper."
 ORDEK
 HERE
 @typicalterome
Back on my caption shit: "Aye Free Tay K bruh." "Didn't he kill like 2 people?" "And?" *door opens* "Dinner is ready." "Bet." *goes downstairs and sits at dinner table with family* "Itadakimasu!" "Bruh you gotta stop watching anime." "ShutchobitchassupTroy." "Boys! Quit arguing at the table. Terome, how was work?" "It was garbage. This lady asked for a Cobb salad without Cobb. I wanted to slap her on my dead goldfish." "You ain't got a dead goldfish." "Who asked you?" "Troy, how was your day?" "It was ight, Mom. I don't know why you always ask us that at the table." "Why do I ask you that? It's a parents job to make sure their kids are happy and doing the right thin-" "Shutcho 'well ackshually' ass up Janet." "For real Dad, she talk to much." *Mom stares at her plate and shakes* "You big mad or little mad?" Dad said. *shaking intensifies* "Damn look at her face, she mad asf." "I dare you to poke her." "Hell nah I ain't suicidal." "Don't test me David..." Mom says through her teeth. "Janet I've tested this food and it tastes like a homeless nigga." "Holup, how you know what that tastes like?" "Don't ask question you don't want the answer to, Terome." "O." "THATS IT!" *Mom stands up and marches back upstairs* "Guess she was big mad." Troy said. *rattling from upstairs* "Tf is she doing?" *footsteps coming down the stairs* "I've had it with you 3..." *Mom points a 9mm at us* "Hey I was saving that for school!" "Aye if you gon shoot anybody, make sure it's me first." *all 3 stare at Troy* "What? I run a meme page."
                
            

            
            
Back on my caption shit: "Aye Free Tay K bruh." "Didn't he kill like 2 people?" "And?" *door opens* "Dinner is ready." "Bet." *goes downstai...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Being Alone, Another One, and Clothes: eleanors-clothes:
 silvernoctuary:
 Schoep, a 19 year old dog, is
 taken into the lake every night by
 his owner, John, to help soothe
 his arthritis and help him fall
 asleep
 this is love. this is love. this is love.
Hey guys it's me again! AldenRants 33-50 @Loltubby asked me to "rant about me again!" Well, from what you asked I can ONLY assume that what you're asking is for me to rant about the 2012 Christian film Me Again. THIS MOVIE WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE. We see him preaching about the prodigal son in the Bible and how "I don't get iiiit! They treated him like a rockstar!" Then he spends the rest of his sermon flailing his arms and repeating the word "rockstar" just in case anyone was confused. So then God's like, "This dude's a dick. I'm going to put him in the body of a dying millionaire, an anorexic model, a FUCKING fish, a neglected infant, the dying cleaning lady of the dying millionaire, his daughter's boyfriend (Don't think about that one too much) and his ex wife in that order because that'll teach'm." The entire time I was watching this movie, I was trying to figure out what early 2000's low budget movie this was like and I finally decided on "Freaky Friday having a seizure." THIS BODYSNATCHING MINISTER MADE FOR THE WORST BODYSNATCHER EVER. DURING THIS GOD-ORDAINED DRUG TRIP, HE ALLEGEDLY CAUSES TWO PEOPLE TO DIE AND GETS ANOTHER ONE ARRESTED BECAUSE HE PULLED A 17 AGAIN AND WAS TRYING TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HIS WIFE WHILE STILL IN THE BODY OF A TEENAGE BOY. So what does he do once he's back to normal you ask? He somehow infiltrates the old millionaire's security and sneaks into his limousine to tell him "Hey, you're going to die alone one day" THEN FUCKING GUESS WHAT?? HE FUCKING HANDCUFFS HIS DAUGHTER'S BOYFRIEND WHILE HE'S ASLEEP IN BED AND STUFFS A SOCK IN HIS MOUTH AND TELLS HIM "If you yell for help, I'm going to blackmail you by telling your parents about the porn magazine under your bed." THE BOY'S DONE LITERALLY NOTHING TO HIM EXCEPT SAY "Hey, nice car" THE MAN DIDN'T EVEN ATTACH THE HANDCUFFS TO ANYTHING BEING THE STEREOTYPICALLY BLONDE DOMINATRIX HE IS I GUESS. Oh, and he steals the goldfish he inhabited from the Italian restaurant because we would've all been devastated if he forgot about the fish. So in the end his wife's like "Oo yeah I love a man who's assertive like that," and then THEY GET BACK TOGETHER. GREAT MOVIE GUYS, STRONGLY RECOMMEND
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Being Alone, Another One, and Clothes: eleanors-clothes:
 silvernoctuary:
 Schoep, a 19 year old dog, is
 taken into the lake every night by
 his owner, John, to help soothe
 his arthritis and help him fall
 asleep
 this is love. this is love. this is love.
Hey guys it's me again! AldenRants 33-50 @Loltubby asked me to "rant about me again!" Well, from what you asked I can ONLY assume that what you're asking is for me to rant about the 2012 Christian film Me Again. THIS MOVIE WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE. We see him preaching about the prodigal son in the Bible and how "I don't get iiiit! They treated him like a rockstar!" Then he spends the rest of his sermon flailing his arms and repeating the word "rockstar" just in case anyone was confused. So then God's like, "This dude's a dick. I'm going to put him in the body of a dying millionaire, an anorexic model, a FUCKING fish, a neglected infant, the dying cleaning lady of the dying millionaire, his daughter's boyfriend (Don't think about that one too much) and his ex wife in that order because that'll teach'm." The entire time I was watching this movie, I was trying to figure out what early 2000's low budget movie this was like and I finally decided on "Freaky Friday having a seizure." THIS BODYSNATCHING MINISTER MADE FOR THE WORST BODYSNATCHER EVER. DURING THIS GOD-ORDAINED DRUG TRIP, HE ALLEGEDLY CAUSES TWO PEOPLE TO DIE AND GETS ANOTHER ONE ARRESTED BECAUSE HE PULLED A 17 AGAIN AND WAS TRYING TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HIS WIFE WHILE STILL IN THE BODY OF A TEENAGE BOY. So what does he do once he's back to normal you ask? He somehow infiltrates the old millionaire's security and sneaks into his limousine to tell him "Hey, you're going to die alone one day" THEN FUCKING GUESS WHAT?? HE FUCKING HANDCUFFS HIS DAUGHTER'S BOYFRIEND WHILE HE'S ASLEEP IN BED AND STUFFS A SOCK IN HIS MOUTH AND TELLS HIM "If you yell for help, I'm going to blackmail you by telling your parents about the porn magazine under your bed." THE BOY'S DONE LITERALLY NOTHING TO HIM EXCEPT SAY "Hey, nice car" THE MAN DIDN'T EVEN ATTACH THE HANDCUFFS TO ANYTHING BEING THE STEREOTYPICALLY BLONDE DOMINATRIX HE IS I GUESS. Oh, and he steals the goldfish he inhabited from the Italian restaurant because we would've all been devastated if he forgot about the fish. So in the end his wife's like "Oo yeah I love a man who's assertive like that," and then THEY GET BACK TOGETHER. GREAT MOVIE GUYS, STRONGLY RECOMMEND
                
            

            
            
Hey guys it's me again! AldenRants 33-50 @Loltubby asked me to "rant about me again!" Well, from what you asked I can ONLY assume that what ...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Confused, Cookies, and Girls: Ask anything.
 Yahoo Answers
 Now
 Download on the
 asked in pets
 App Store
 I have a dog and a cat. Is it true
 that they have the same legal
 rights that Ihave?
 Do fish grieve the death of another fish?
 I had two goldfish in one tank and they seemed
 pretty close.. always swimming next to each
 other. Recently one of the goldfish died and was
 removed from...
 Update:
 Do you think i could reintroduce a new goldfish?
 Or would the current one not like that?
 5 answers
 Fish
 Ads
hey this is just something I've been wanting to address for a while and my mom actually brought it up and I decided to talk about it. So, a lot of people have asked me if I buy my followers (supposedly because my account grows so fast?). The answer is a resounding NO. I don't have the money to buy followers, and even if I did, wouldn't they all unfollow? on my personal account, whenI've found that I randomly am following certain big accounts with a one word title like "hoe" or "girls" (not those accounts specifically, if they even exist, (side note, why do so many big accounts have somewhat crude names? like hoeposts and slutposts and stuff? no hate, just confused)) and I unfollow them as soon as I see them. Wow that was a long tangent sorry lol, but anyway, I just want to say that no I don't buy followers. Also, the reason that I think my account grows so well is because I interact with you guys so much and I post so often. I reply to all of my DMs and I read almost all of your comments and I talk to so many of you guys all the time. I get a minimum of about 50 DMs a day and I spend my time talking to you guys because it's what I love doing. I started this account to share the happiness and fun that I found in my life and that's still the reason I run it. Speaking of that, I ran this account at 1,000 followers the same way I run it at 234,000 followers. Even if I only make one or two people happy, that still makes a difference right? When I only had my personal account, the memes in my feed always lifted my mood and I wanted to be someone who could do the same for others. That's the reason I don't care about how many followers I have, too. There could be just 20 followers here and I would still post and talk to you guys because that's what I love doing. I hope that cleared some stuff up for you maybe? Anyway, thanks for reading this!! ❤ cookies to all of you 🍪🍪🍪
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Confused, Cookies, and Girls: Ask anything.
 Yahoo Answers
 Now
 Download on the
 asked in pets
 App Store
 I have a dog and a cat. Is it true
 that they have the same legal
 rights that Ihave?
 Do fish grieve the death of another fish?
 I had two goldfish in one tank and they seemed
 pretty close.. always swimming next to each
 other. Recently one of the goldfish died and was
 removed from...
 Update:
 Do you think i could reintroduce a new goldfish?
 Or would the current one not like that?
 5 answers
 Fish
 Ads
hey this is just something I've been wanting to address for a while and my mom actually brought it up and I decided to talk about it. So, a lot of people have asked me if I buy my followers (supposedly because my account grows so fast?). The answer is a resounding NO. I don't have the money to buy followers, and even if I did, wouldn't they all unfollow? on my personal account, whenI've found that I randomly am following certain big accounts with a one word title like "hoe" or "girls" (not those accounts specifically, if they even exist, (side note, why do so many big accounts have somewhat crude names? like hoeposts and slutposts and stuff? no hate, just confused)) and I unfollow them as soon as I see them. Wow that was a long tangent sorry lol, but anyway, I just want to say that no I don't buy followers. Also, the reason that I think my account grows so well is because I interact with you guys so much and I post so often. I reply to all of my DMs and I read almost all of your comments and I talk to so many of you guys all the time. I get a minimum of about 50 DMs a day and I spend my time talking to you guys because it's what I love doing. I started this account to share the happiness and fun that I found in my life and that's still the reason I run it. Speaking of that, I ran this account at 1,000 followers the same way I run it at 234,000 followers. Even if I only make one or two people happy, that still makes a difference right? When I only had my personal account, the memes in my feed always lifted my mood and I wanted to be someone who could do the same for others. That's the reason I don't care about how many followers I have, too. There could be just 20 followers here and I would still post and talk to you guys because that's what I love doing. I hope that cleared some stuff up for you maybe? Anyway, thanks for reading this!! ❤ cookies to all of you 🍪🍪🍪
                
            

            
            
hey this is just something I've been wanting to address for a while and my mom actually brought it up and I decided to talk about it. So, a ...