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Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the...

Being Alone, Bad, and Family: NEW EPISODE CN CARTOETw I WAS TERRIBLE TO YOU. I LIKED TAKING EVERYTHING OUT ON YO.. beta-kindergarten: Because this is, for whatever reason being discussed again in the tags, here’s just another reminder to everyone, and especially to my fellow survivors who see themselves in Jasper: SU has /never/ been ambiguous regarding who was in control of malachite. It was undoubtedly Lapis up until SWI, and even then you could say she and Jasper were working together to fight the CGs. Abuse by definition NEEDS to have a power imbalance between the victim and abuser. Jasper was never allowed that power, while Lapis is always described as the one who was in control, therefore Lapis was the abuser and Jasper was the victim. Victims aren’t always good people. Jasper is very much a victim of circumstance, both from the war and from Malachite. Yes, she’s abusive, but towards the corrupted gems, and has yet to be given a chance to unlearn her toxic behaviors. She’s a messy victim, she’s aggressive and angry, and there are so many survivors who act like this; and guess what, they’re still victims. Having “ugly” symptoms and feeling affection for your abuser does NOT make you the abuser of the relationship. It doesn’t undermine your abuse and certainly doesn’t justify it, no matter what vitriol this fandom tries to spew at you because you see Jasper as the victim. Abusers aren’t always going to be your enemy. They aren’t always going to be bigger than you, or physically stronger. They can be friends or family or “beach summer fun buddies”. They can be nice sometimes and absolutely terrible other times. And they can also have traumas of their own. This doesn’t change or excuse the fact that they’re abusive. Lapis is this kind of abuser. She was the one holding the chains, the one who acknowledges her own power (and fears being placed in positions of control because of it), and the one who regrets her decisions and is trying to stop being abusive. Frankly I don’t care about protagonist centered morality enough to even consider Steven’s point of view regarding Malachite. I don’t care what the CGs in the show have to say about the situation because regardless of how much of a “terrible” person Jasper is, it’s presented clearly to us who was the one being held in chains against their will. I also cannot be bothered to care about your definitions of “lashing out” or, “self-blaming”. Lapis made her intentions painfully clear that this was for revenge and wanting to take out everything on someone. She doesn’t love the earth nor does she want to play nice with the CGs. So don’t even try to tell me this because I’m frankly just /tired/ of being reminded that you people don’t actually care about victims if our behaviors or coping mechanisms are “wrong” to you. Also, of the 2 years that I’ve been involved in this hell fandom I’ve yet to see Jasper fans attack the inboxes or posts of Lapis fans to the same extent that the reverse has been done. Jasper fans don’t spread ugly rumors about Rebecca Sugar’s abuse history either, so it’s pretty ironic that WE’RE the ones who condone abuse isn’t it? tl;dr: You’re honestly disgusting if you’ve EVER tried to make a victim feel bad for liking Jasper, and I sincerely hope you grow up some day and learn that it’s not worth it to harm real people and survivors for the sake of a cartoon. And if you’re a victim who relates to Jasper, believe me when I say you aren’t alone and you aren’t a bad person. Keep doing you. ✌️
Being Alone, Bad, and Family: NEW EPISODE
 CN
 CARTOETw

 I WAS TERRIBLE TO YOU.

 I LIKED TAKING EVERYTHING OUT ON YO..
beta-kindergarten:

Because this is, for whatever reason being discussed again in the tags, here’s just another reminder to everyone, and especially to my fellow survivors who see themselves in Jasper:

SU has /never/ been ambiguous regarding who was in control of malachite. It was undoubtedly Lapis up until SWI, and even then you could say she and Jasper were working together to fight the CGs. Abuse by definition NEEDS to have a power imbalance between the victim and abuser. Jasper was never allowed that power, while Lapis is always described as the one who was in control, therefore Lapis was the abuser and Jasper was the victim.

Victims aren’t always good people. Jasper is very much a victim of circumstance, both from the war and from Malachite. Yes, she’s abusive, but towards the corrupted gems, and has yet to be given a chance to unlearn her toxic behaviors. She’s a messy victim, she’s aggressive and angry, and there are so many survivors who act like this; and guess what, they’re still victims. Having “ugly” symptoms and feeling affection for your abuser does NOT make you the abuser of the relationship. It doesn’t undermine your abuse and certainly doesn’t justify it, no matter what vitriol this fandom tries to spew at you because you see Jasper as the victim.

Abusers aren’t always going to be your enemy. They aren’t always going to be bigger than you, or physically stronger. They can be friends or family or “beach summer fun buddies”. They can be nice sometimes and absolutely terrible other times. And they can also have traumas of their own. This doesn’t change or excuse the fact that they’re abusive. Lapis is this kind of abuser. She was the one holding the chains, the one who acknowledges her own power (and fears being placed in positions of control because of it), and the one who regrets her decisions and is trying to stop being abusive. 

Frankly I don’t care about protagonist centered morality enough to even consider Steven’s point of view regarding Malachite. I don’t care what the CGs in the show have to say about the situation because regardless of how much of a “terrible” person Jasper is, it’s presented clearly to us who was the one being held in chains against their will. I also cannot be bothered to care about your definitions of “lashing out” or, “self-blaming”. Lapis made her intentions painfully clear that this was for revenge and wanting to take out everything on someone. She doesn’t love the earth nor does she want to play nice with the CGs. So don’t even try to tell me this because I’m frankly just /tired/ of being reminded that you people don’t actually care about victims if our behaviors or coping mechanisms are “wrong” to you. 

Also, of the 2 years that I’ve been involved in this hell fandom I’ve yet to see Jasper fans attack the inboxes or posts of Lapis fans to the same extent that the reverse has been done. Jasper fans don’t spread ugly rumors about Rebecca Sugar’s abuse history either, so it’s pretty ironic that WE’RE the ones who condone abuse isn’t it?

tl;dr: You’re honestly disgusting if you’ve EVER tried to make a victim feel bad for liking Jasper, and I sincerely hope you grow up some day and learn that it’s not worth it to harm real people and survivors for the sake of a cartoon. And if you’re a victim who relates to Jasper, believe me when I say you aren’t alone and you aren’t a bad person. Keep doing you. ✌️

beta-kindergarten: Because this is, for whatever reason being discussed again in the tags, here’s just another reminder to everyone, and es...

News, Target, and Tumblr: ST 15 15 mrevaunit42: starafterdeath: schi-walker-locked: a-small-bowl-of-noodles: kakaphoe: of-another-broken-heart: kakaphoe: asymbina: iamsapphirecrimsonclaw: bluesey-182: captaindeadpoet: hiringdreamers: ezurad: commandtower-solring-go: kayas-wife: chandra-nalaar: viralthings: The more you look at this picture, the more anxious it becomes. this is just a normal waffle house there is a bloody handprint on the door There is somethung under the counter with the cups Blind man reading news paperSkull in the coffee Milk is $15 Lady’s hand is a tentacle the bleeding pie, the eyeball and fingers on the blind man’s plate… I was trying to find something nobody else had seen yet, when I realized… Look right above the tentacle arm. The second man at the buffet, what the hell is he doing? He’s either throwing up or eating an octopus. I think his face is just tentacles. The blind man has gills. Scariest detail: this image was ripped from the creator’s site and vandalized (edited to remove the watermark), then reuploaded for viral fame without so much as a mention of the artist’s name. SOURCE: http://jeffleejohnson.deviantart.com/art/Blue-Plate-Special-661961724 That said, the earlier observation about milk being $15 is off - artist confirms this is based on a 1920’s diner, so the price would be in cents. (http://comments.deviantart.com/1/661961724/4375070065)The table under the journal is lacquered with ants. The person holding the skull-creamed coffee paints the underside of their nails. Either that or their natural nails grow red.The journal’s writing, intentionally made hard to read and partially obscured, is somewhat of a cheat to all the things amiss in the scene. (http://comments.deviantart.com/1/661961724/4372574544) I can make out: “… and eyeball … have to think he is less strange than the horrifying creature that seems to have inhabited the cabinet behind him … all tentacles and teeth … (obscured by cup) … Where in the world can be found such nightmares?!” Reblogging for the correct source (I didn’t even notice the OP wasn’t the artist oops). There’s a second one, and there’s even more in this AAAHH, cool, but AAAAAHHHH Just a regular morning in Innsmouth. Passing your perception checks isn’t always a great idea
News, Target, and Tumblr: ST
 15
 15
mrevaunit42:

starafterdeath:

schi-walker-locked:

a-small-bowl-of-noodles:

kakaphoe:

of-another-broken-heart:

kakaphoe:

asymbina:

iamsapphirecrimsonclaw:

bluesey-182:

captaindeadpoet:

hiringdreamers:


ezurad:


commandtower-solring-go:


kayas-wife:


chandra-nalaar:

viralthings:
The more you look at this picture, the more anxious it becomes.
this is just a normal waffle house

there is a bloody handprint on the door


There is somethung under the counter with the cups


Blind man reading news paperSkull in the coffee


Milk is $15


Lady’s hand is a tentacle


the bleeding pie, the eyeball and fingers on the blind man’s plate…

I was trying to find something nobody else had seen yet, when I realized…
Look right above the tentacle arm. The second man at the buffet, what the hell is he doing? He’s either throwing up or eating an octopus.

I think his face is just tentacles.

The blind man has gills.

Scariest detail: this image was ripped from the creator’s site and vandalized (edited to remove the watermark), then reuploaded for viral fame without so much as a mention of the artist’s name. SOURCE: http://jeffleejohnson.deviantart.com/art/Blue-Plate-Special-661961724 That said, the earlier observation about milk being $15 is off - artist confirms this is based on a 1920’s diner, so the price would be in cents. (http://comments.deviantart.com/1/661961724/4375070065)The table under the journal is lacquered with ants. The person holding the skull-creamed coffee paints the underside of their nails. Either that or their natural nails grow red.The journal’s writing, intentionally made hard to read and partially obscured, is somewhat of a cheat to all the things amiss in the scene. (http://comments.deviantart.com/1/661961724/4372574544) I can make out: “… and eyeball … have to think he is less strange than the horrifying creature that seems to have inhabited the cabinet behind him … all tentacles and teeth … (obscured by cup) … Where in the world can be found such nightmares?!”

Reblogging for the correct source (I didn’t even notice the OP wasn’t the artist oops).


There’s a second one, and there’s even more in this 


AAAHH, cool, but AAAAAHHHH



Just a regular morning in Innsmouth.


Passing your perception checks isn’t always a great idea

mrevaunit42: starafterdeath: schi-walker-locked: a-small-bowl-of-noodles: kakaphoe: of-another-broken-heart: kakaphoe: asymbina: iam...

Click, Fail, and Fucking: 22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away irrevocably-delicious Irrevocably-delicious @india draws Anyone who's worked in retail has probably participated in this thing I call "circle talk" and it is by far one the most exhausting and irritating parts of my job. 12-05 PM Jan 19, 2019- Twitter Web App Circle talk is when a customer asks you a question, but when you answer it, they continue to stare at you blankly. So you repeat your answer over and over, slightly rephrasing it until it permeates their brain. "How big does this cactus grow?" "It'll get quite large, but it's very slow growing, so you won't see much of a difference until almost 10 years" "Oh my wife has one that's like half metre" "Yes that must be quite old" "So they can get that big?" "Yes but not for a long time" "about 10 years?" "YES" 12:05 PM Jan 19, 2019 Twitter Web App he Cackes Grows slo Oh right& he Cockuss slow growino The Slow growing Cachs Small Cactsou will not grouw og quich Some retail complaints from twitter this morning. I don't think anyone can fully comprehend how stupid humans are until they work a retail or hospitality job. starfire003 I'd like to add on the people who ask a question, get an answer they don't like and ask the same question in a different way to get the response they want. corisanna I get stuff like this often enough at work, but that last one? There is one customer we have that does that so frequently and for so long (personal record with me is goddamn FORTY MINUTES of trying to get the answer she wanted) that we call her Circle Lady when she isn't present. Then there are the ones who do this, fail, and try it again with the same employees the next day greatfay Me: "For the drink, it's [x amount]) Customer: "I saw a sign that I get a free drink?" Me: "For signing up for our rewards program, yes:" Customer: "Oh... I don't have one of those Me: "Well if you sign up, you can get the free drink! :) Customer: "Eh don't want to sign up" Me: " " Customer: "I hate getting all those emails" Me: "Oh, well you can opt out of emails, I can show you how:) Customer: "No thanks, I don't want an account" Me: "Okay... well the drink will be [x amount]: Customer: "I thought it was free?" Me: ")" Me: "It's free if you sign up for our rewards program:)" Customer: "I don't want to sign up" Me: "Then the drink isn't free :)" Customer: "You can't just give me the drink?" Me: "No, I can't unfortunately:) Customer: "Why not? It's only [x amount] Me: "if that's not a lot of money to you, why don't you just pay for it? : Customer: "This is shit customer service" Me: ")" Customer: "This is highway robbery, squeezing every dime out of people, you should be ashamed of yourself-" Me: "I don't control the prices, I'm just a cashier:) Customer: "-making a fucking fuss over a damn drink and it's not even a large- Me: "That's not my decision, I'm just a cashier:) Customer:"-and you bet I won't be coming back here again Me: "How unfortunate :)" thekeybladeninja I can feel the) deep in my soul 74,441 notes Click to see full Sarcasm Goal 22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away #funny #memes #tumblr #funnymemes
Click, Fail, and Fucking: 22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away
 irrevocably-delicious
 Irrevocably-delicious
 @india draws
 Anyone who's worked in retail has
 probably participated in this thing I
 call "circle talk" and it is by far one
 the most exhausting and irritating
 parts of my job.
 12-05 PM Jan 19, 2019- Twitter Web App
 Circle talk is when a customer asks
 you a question, but when you answer
 it, they continue to stare at you
 blankly. So you repeat your answer
 over and over, slightly rephrasing it
 until it permeates their brain.
 "How big does this cactus grow?"
 "It'll get quite large, but it's very slow
 growing, so you won't see much of a
 difference until almost 10 years"
 "Oh my wife has one that's like half
 metre"
 "Yes that must be quite old"
 "So they can get that big?"
 "Yes but not for a long time"
 "about 10 years?"
 "YES"
 12:05 PM Jan 19, 2019 Twitter Web App
 he Cackes Grows slo
 Oh right& he Cockuss slow
 growino
 The Slow growing Cachs
 Small Cactsou
 will not grouw og quich
 Some retail complaints from twitter this
 morning. I don't think anyone can fully
 comprehend how stupid humans are until they
 work a retail or hospitality job.
 starfire003
 I'd like to add on the people who ask a question,
 get an answer they don't like and ask the same
 question in a different way to get the response
 they want.
 corisanna
 I get stuff like this often enough at work, but
 that last one? There is one customer we have
 that does that so frequently and for so long
 (personal record with me is goddamn FORTY
 MINUTES of trying to get the answer she
 wanted) that we call her Circle Lady when she
 isn't present.
 Then there are the ones who do this, fail, and
 try it again with the same employees the next
 day
 greatfay
 Me: "For the drink, it's [x amount])
 Customer: "I saw a sign that I get a free drink?"
 Me: "For signing up for our rewards program,
 yes:"
 Customer: "Oh... I don't have one of those
 Me: "Well if you sign up, you can get the free
 drink! :)
 Customer: "Eh don't want to sign up"
 Me: " "
 Customer: "I hate getting all those emails"
 Me: "Oh, well you can opt out of emails, I can
 show you how:)
 Customer: "No thanks, I don't want an
 account"
 Me: "Okay... well the drink will be [x amount]:
 Customer: "I thought it was free?"
 Me: ")"
 Me: "It's free if you sign up for our rewards
 program:)"
 Customer: "I don't want to sign up"
 Me: "Then the drink isn't free :)"
 Customer: "You can't just give me the drink?"
 Me: "No, I can't unfortunately:)
 Customer: "Why not? It's only [x amount]
 Me: "if that's not a lot of money to you, why
 don't you just pay for it? :
 Customer: "This is shit customer service"
 Me: ")"
 Customer: "This is highway robbery, squeezing
 every dime out of people, you should be
 ashamed of yourself-"
 Me: "I don't control the prices, I'm just a
 cashier:)
 Customer: "-making a fucking fuss over a
 damn drink and it's not even a large-
 Me: "That's not my decision, I'm just a
 cashier:)
 Customer:"-and you bet I won't be coming
 back here again
 Me: "How unfortunate :)"
 thekeybladeninja
 I can feel the) deep in my soul
 74,441 notes
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22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away #funny #memes #tumblr #funnymemes

22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away #funny #memes #tumblr #funnymemes

Apparently, Beard, and Community: Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g Okay, let me tell you about my friend Jose. Jose is AMAB, 6'5" and built like a linebacker, with lots of visible tattoos. They're trying to grow a beard but the genes for it aren't quite there so for now it's Quentin Collins-style mutton chops. /1 big lumberjack 12:42 PM Aug 27, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 1.8K Likes 657 Retweets > Topher? Is thata thing? @topher_g 5h Replying to@topher_g Jose is a master of wearing just enough eyeliner to make you question whether they're wearing eyeliner or just have really pretty eyes. But in general if you saw them on the street you'd likely think "that is a big scary looking dude." /2 2 t 16 882 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h Jose is non-binary (And pansexual but that's not important to the story) and uses singular "they." /3 2 ti 19 897 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h Yesterday Jose was excited to go to a local meetup for Latinx "women and nonbinary people" because they were hoping to make some friends/community connections. /4 2 ti 35 925 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h I spent an hour last night at Jose's apartment with them literally crying on my shoulder because they were told they weren't welcome at the meeting. /5 4 ti 39 1K Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h Someone there told them when they said "women and nonbinary people" what they actually meant was "women, and women who identify as nonbinary." That's apparently an actual quote. /6 O 24 t1138 1.4K Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g Someone there told them when they said "women and nonbinary people" what they actually meant was "women, and women who identify as nonbinary." That's apparently an actual quote. /6 12:42 PM Aug 27, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 138 Retweets 1.4K Likes Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g I have always had issues with the phrase "women and nonbinary" but today I am LIVID that my friend went looking for community and allies and basically got rejected for not being some waify androgyne. /7 12:42 PM Aug 27, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 2.3K Likes 178 Retweets droideka-exe: NB 👏 Does 👏 Not 👏 Mean 👏 Woman 👏 Lite link to thread
Apparently, Beard, and Community: Topher? Is that a thing?
 @topher_g
 Okay, let me tell you about my friend Jose. Jose is
 AMAB, 6'5" and built like a linebacker, with lots of
 visible tattoos. They're trying to grow a
 beard but the genes for it aren't quite there so for now
 it's Quentin Collins-style mutton chops. /1
 big lumberjack
 12:42 PM Aug 27, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
 1.8K Likes
 657 Retweets
 >

 Topher? Is thata thing? @topher_g 5h
 Replying to@topher_g
 Jose is a master of wearing just enough eyeliner to make you question
 whether they're wearing eyeliner or just have really pretty eyes. But in
 general if you saw them on the street you'd likely think "that is a big scary
 looking dude." /2
 2
 t 16
 882
 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h
 Jose is non-binary (And pansexual but that's not important to the story) and
 uses singular "they." /3
 2
 ti 19
 897
 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h
 Yesterday Jose was excited to go to a local meetup for Latinx "women and
 nonbinary people" because they were hoping to make some
 friends/community connections. /4
 2
 ti 35
 925
 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h
 I spent an hour last night at Jose's apartment with them literally crying on
 my shoulder because they were told they weren't welcome at the meeting.
 /5
 4
 ti 39
 1K
 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h
 Someone there told them when they said "women and nonbinary people"
 what they actually meant was "women, and women who identify as
 nonbinary." That's apparently
 an actual quote. /6
 O 24
 t1138
 1.4K

 Topher? Is that a thing?
 @topher_g
 Someone there told them when they said "women and
 nonbinary people" what they actually meant was
 "women, and women who identify as nonbinary." That's
 apparently an actual quote. /6
 12:42 PM Aug 27, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
 138 Retweets
 1.4K Likes

 Topher? Is that a thing?
 @topher_g
 I have always had issues with the phrase "women and
 nonbinary" but today I am LIVID that my friend went
 looking for community and allies and basically got
 rejected for not being some waify androgyne. /7
 12:42 PM Aug 27, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
 2.3K Likes
 178 Retweets
droideka-exe:
NB 👏 Does 👏 Not 👏 Mean 👏 Woman 👏 Lite
link to thread

droideka-exe: NB 👏 Does 👏 Not 👏 Mean 👏 Woman 👏 Lite link to thread

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: G.ARAFT19 gracekraft: Made a new ship last night for your consideration. They’ve both been left behind by Pink and can grow and heal together.
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: G.ARAFT19
gracekraft:

Made a new ship last night for your consideration. They’ve both been left behind by Pink and can grow and heal together.

gracekraft: Made a new ship last night for your consideration. They’ve both been left behind by Pink and can grow and heal together.