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80s, Africa, and Books: GUIDE TO FIGURING OUT THE AGE OF AN UNDATED WORLD MAP (ASSUMING ITS COrMPLETE, LABELEDN ENGUSH, AND DETAILED ENOUGH) DO ANY OF THESE EXIST? NO INDEPENDENT CANADA US TERRITORY OF ALASKA TOKYO ISTANBUL OR CONSTANTINOPLE? START DOES THE SOVET UNION EXIST? CONSTANTINOPLE NETHERSTANBUL THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE? 15 MOST OF WEST AFRICA A GIANT FRENCH BLOB? SAUDI YES 1805 OR EARUER (BEFORE THIS POINT THE MODERN IDEAOF ACOMPLETE POLITICAL MAP OF THEWORLD GETS HARD TOAPPLY ARABIA? THE SOVIET UNION? NO ZAIRE? OR HONG KONG (UK DOES THE OTTOMAN 1922-1932 YES EPIRE EXIST? SOUTH AFRICA? NO YES HOW MANY VIETNAMS ARE THERE? 992-96 AUSTRIA HUNGARY? NORTH KOREA? SAINT TRIMBLES ISLAND SERBIA/MONTENEGRO ARE.. ONE COUNTRY TO COUNTRIES NOT IS JAN MAYEN PART OF THE KINGDOMOF NORUAY? THE UNITED STATES? NO YES HOU SURE ARE YOU THAT THIS MAP IS IN ENGLISH? WHAT? PAKISTAN? BANGLADESH? YES NOIMADE THAT ONE UP LENINGRAD? NOYES 1919-23 1124-29 HOU MANY SUDANS ARE THERE? RHODESIA? EAST TIMOR? NO YES 972-75 ALBANIA? CAN YOU SEE THE FAMIUAR CONTINENTS? NO YES 1910-12 1915-18 1997-2001 2002-06 TEXAS IS.. PARTOF MEXICO INDEPEN-THE US DENT 834-45 2007- HOW MANY GERMANYS ARE THERE? TUO CAMBODIA? PARTOF THIS SOUNDS LIKE A PHYSICAL MAP OR SATELLITE PHOTO "COLORADO OR "DANGER-RADIOACTIVE EXCLUSION ZONE-AVOID? DANGER YES ONE ONE, BUT ITS HUGE 1941-45 IS CRIMEA DISPUTED? ISNORUAY PART OF SUEDEN? YES 18%-1905 1906-09 h-9h6l YES, THATS IT ERITREA IS PARTOF.. EHОРА 1952-53 FLORIDA IS PARTOF.. COLORADO 204-2 PERSIA OR IRAN? 2012-13 RIVERS SIRION OR ANDUIN? ITALY SPAIN THE US RAN PERSIA DOES THE UARNING MENTION THE SPIDERS? IS LAKE CHAD MISSING? 1935-40 1930-34 IS BOLIVIA LANDLOCKED? JIMMY CARTER IS. BENGATTACKED BY A T FINE GANT SUMING RPESIT APRIL 20 1979 VENEZUELA ANDOR ECUADOR? NO YES 1818-29 1830-33 THE UNITED ARAB REPUBLIC? NO 1954-57 1958-60 PARAGUAY? CANADA IS.. MISSING FINE A PIECE 1948 YES 1806-10 18-17 2023 ORLATER 2022 CAIR PARAVEL? 1884-95 THE SINAI IS PART OF WHAT COUNTRY? ISRAELT MOSTLY ISRAEL MOSTLY EGYPT EGYPT 1980 IS THE ARAL SEA MISSING? 15 THE AREA SOUTH OF LAKE VICTORIA. TANGANYIKA 1961-64 MOSSFLOUER? MORDOR? BUDA AND PEST OR BUDAPEST? 1981 1976-79 DOES RUSSIA BORDER THE SEA OF JAPAN? TANZANIA BRITISH 1965-71 960 1970s-90s 20O0st REDUALL WHATS THE CAPITALOF MICRONESIA? KOLONIA BUDA AND BUDAPEST PEST PAUKIR 1873-83 1858-67 IS THE WORLD ON THE BACK OF A TURTUE? NO DISCWORLD THE TOUN ON 1-25 BETUEEN ALBUQUERQUE AND EL PASO IS.. HOT SPRINGS TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES 1868-72 NOMENOR? YES NO LATE SECOND AGE BELERIAND? REPUBLIC OF THE UPPER VOLTA OR BURKINA FASO? THE USS SOUTHERN BORDER LOOKS. WEIRD FIRST EARLY AGE SECOND AGE NORMAL 854-56 1948-49 1950-52 UPPER VOLTA BURKNA FASO 1982-84 846-53 ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A MAP? CALORMEN? 1985-88 THE FOREST EASTOF THE MISTY MOUNTAINS IS.. IS IT TRYING HOU FAR EAST DO THE AMERICAN PRAIRIES REACH? THE MISSISSIPPINEBRASKA 1830s-80s (NUMBER OF YEMENS)+(NUMBER OF GERTMANYS) FOUR 1989-EARLY 1990 TO BITE YOU? ? INDIANA UNAT PRAIRIES? GREENJOODI MRKJOOD THE GREAT EARLY THIRD AGE THE UOOD OF GREENLEAVES THREE MID-1990 BEFORE 1830 LATE THIRD AGE FOURTH AGE LATE1990-199 DID YOU MAKE IT YOURSELF? WEIRD RECURSIVE HEAVEN? 15 THERE A BIG LAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOUTHERN CAUFORNIA? (CREATED BY MISTAKE) I5 THERE A BIG LAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF GHANA? (CREATED ON PURPOSE) NO 1920s-505 LOTTA 1SLANDS? IF YOU LET IT GO UHAT DOES IT DO? I5 IT LARGER THAN A BREADBOX? YES TUBA STAPLER THE SAME BERUNA FORDBRIDGE HISSES AND RUNS AWAY CAT SCREECHES AND FLAPS ARDUND THE ROOn BREAKING THINGE5 YES ONE OF THE THE RANDOM LAST LATER BOOKS BATE NO YES ABOUT ITS VERY NICE. THANK YOU RELION PRINCE UEHE CASPIAN WARDROBE DALIN TREACER YES SEAGULL BREADBOX 1860s-1900s 1960s-70s 1910s land-of-maps: this helps a lot
80s, Africa, and Books: GUIDE TO FIGURING OUT THE AGE OF AN UNDATED WORLD MAP
 (ASSUMING ITS COrMPLETE, LABELEDN ENGUSH, AND DETAILED ENOUGH)
 DO ANY OF THESE EXIST?
 NO INDEPENDENT CANADA
 US TERRITORY OF ALASKA
 TOKYO
 ISTANBUL OR CONSTANTINOPLE?
 START
 DOES THE SOVET
 UNION EXIST?
 CONSTANTINOPLE NETHERSTANBUL
 THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE?
 15 MOST OF WEST AFRICA
 A GIANT FRENCH BLOB?
 SAUDI
 YES
 1805 OR EARUER
 (BEFORE THIS POINT
 THE MODERN IDEAOF
 ACOMPLETE POLITICAL
 MAP OF THEWORLD
 GETS HARD TOAPPLY
 ARABIA?
 THE
 SOVIET
 UNION? NO
 ZAIRE?
 OR HONG KONG (UK
 DOES THE OTTOMAN
 1922-1932
 YES
 EPIRE EXIST?
 SOUTH AFRICA?
 NO
 YES
 HOW MANY VIETNAMS
 ARE THERE?
 992-96
 AUSTRIA
 HUNGARY?
 NORTH KOREA?
 SAINT
 TRIMBLES
 ISLAND
 SERBIA/MONTENEGRO ARE..
 ONE COUNTRY TO COUNTRIES
 NOT IS JAN MAYEN PART OF
 THE KINGDOMOF NORUAY?
 THE UNITED
 STATES?
 NO YES
 HOU SURE ARE
 YOU THAT THIS MAP
 IS IN ENGLISH?
 WHAT?
 PAKISTAN?
 BANGLADESH?
 YES
 NOIMADE
 THAT ONE UP
 LENINGRAD?
 NOYES
 1919-23 1124-29
 HOU MANY SUDANS
 ARE THERE?
 RHODESIA?
 EAST TIMOR?
 NO
 YES
 972-75
 ALBANIA?
 CAN YOU SEE
 THE FAMIUAR
 CONTINENTS?
 NO YES
 1910-12 1915-18
 1997-2001 2002-06
 TEXAS IS..
 PARTOF
 MEXICO INDEPEN-THE US
 DENT
 834-45
 2007-
 HOW MANY GERMANYS ARE THERE?
 TUO
 CAMBODIA?
 PARTOF
 THIS SOUNDS LIKE
 A PHYSICAL MAP OR
 SATELLITE PHOTO
 "COLORADO OR
 "DANGER-RADIOACTIVE
 EXCLUSION ZONE-AVOID?
 DANGER
 YES
 ONE ONE, BUT ITS HUGE
 1941-45
 IS CRIMEA
 DISPUTED?
 ISNORUAY
 PART OF SUEDEN?
 YES
 18%-1905 1906-09
 h-9h6l
 YES, THATS IT
 ERITREA IS PARTOF..
 EHОРА
 1952-53
 FLORIDA IS PARTOF..
 COLORADO
 204-2
 PERSIA OR IRAN?
 2012-13
 RIVERS SIRION
 OR ANDUIN?
 ITALY
 SPAIN
 THE US
 RAN
 PERSIA
 DOES THE UARNING
 MENTION THE SPIDERS?
 IS LAKE
 CHAD MISSING?
 1935-40
 1930-34
 IS BOLIVIA
 LANDLOCKED?
 JIMMY CARTER IS.
 BENGATTACKED BY A T FINE
 GANT SUMING RPESIT
 APRIL 20 1979
 VENEZUELA
 ANDOR
 ECUADOR?
 NO YES
 1818-29 1830-33
 THE UNITED
 ARAB REPUBLIC?
 NO
 1954-57 1958-60
 PARAGUAY?
 CANADA IS..
 MISSING FINE
 A PIECE
 1948
 YES
 1806-10 18-17
 2023 ORLATER
 2022
 CAIR PARAVEL?
 1884-95
 THE SINAI IS PART OF WHAT COUNTRY?
 ISRAELT MOSTLY ISRAEL MOSTLY EGYPT EGYPT
 1980
 IS THE ARAL
 SEA MISSING?
 15 THE AREA SOUTH OF LAKE VICTORIA.
 TANGANYIKA
 1961-64
 MOSSFLOUER?
 MORDOR?
 BUDA AND PEST
 OR BUDAPEST?
 1981
 1976-79
 DOES RUSSIA BORDER
 THE SEA OF JAPAN?
 TANZANIA
 BRITISH
 1965-71
 960
 1970s-90s 20O0st
 REDUALL
 WHATS THE CAPITALOF MICRONESIA?
 KOLONIA
 BUDA AND BUDAPEST
 PEST
 PAUKIR
 1873-83
 1858-67
 IS THE WORLD ON THE
 BACK OF A TURTUE?
 NO
 DISCWORLD
 THE TOUN ON 1-25 BETUEEN
 ALBUQUERQUE AND EL PASO IS..
 HOT SPRINGS TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES
 1868-72
 NOMENOR?
 YES NO
 LATE
 SECOND AGE
 BELERIAND?
 REPUBLIC OF THE UPPER
 VOLTA OR BURKINA FASO?
 THE USS SOUTHERN BORDER LOOKS.
 WEIRD
 FIRST EARLY
 AGE SECOND AGE
 NORMAL
 854-56
 1948-49
 1950-52
 UPPER VOLTA BURKNA FASO
 1982-84
 846-53
 ARE YOU SURE
 THIS IS A MAP?
 CALORMEN?
 1985-88
 THE FOREST EASTOF THE
 MISTY MOUNTAINS IS..
 IS IT TRYING
 HOU FAR EAST DO THE AMERICAN PRAIRIES REACH?
 THE MISSISSIPPINEBRASKA
 1830s-80s
 (NUMBER OF YEMENS)+(NUMBER OF GERTMANYS)
 FOUR
 1989-EARLY 1990
 TO BITE YOU?
 ?
 INDIANA
 UNAT PRAIRIES?
 GREENJOODI MRKJOOD
 THE GREAT
 EARLY
 THIRD AGE
 THE UOOD OF
 GREENLEAVES
 THREE
 MID-1990
 BEFORE
 1830
 LATE
 THIRD AGE FOURTH AGE
 LATE1990-199
 DID YOU MAKE
 IT YOURSELF?
 WEIRD
 RECURSIVE
 HEAVEN?
 15 THERE A BIG
 LAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF
 SOUTHERN CAUFORNIA?
 (CREATED BY MISTAKE)
 I5 THERE A BIG LAKE IN
 THE MIDDLE OF GHANA?
 (CREATED ON PURPOSE)
 NO
 1920s-505
 LOTTA
 1SLANDS?
 IF YOU LET IT GO UHAT DOES IT DO?
 I5 IT LARGER
 THAN A BREADBOX?
 YES
 TUBA STAPLER THE SAME
 BERUNA
 FORDBRIDGE
 HISSES AND
 RUNS AWAY
 CAT
 SCREECHES AND FLAPS
 ARDUND THE ROOn
 BREAKING THINGE5
 YES
 ONE OF THE THE
 RANDOM LAST
 LATER BOOKS BATE
 NO YES
 ABOUT
 ITS VERY NICE.
 THANK YOU
 RELION PRINCE
 UEHE CASPIAN
 WARDROBE
 DALIN
 TREACER
 YES
 SEAGULL
 BREADBOX
 1860s-1900s
 1960s-70s
 1910s
land-of-maps:

this helps a lot

land-of-maps: this helps a lot

Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: You got two bullets. You're in a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi B, a massive spider and Stuart Little. Who you shooting? Your days are filled with fun and kindness as your loving parents try to nurture you in the most pleasant environment possible. One day you awaken one night to the smell of smoke, you open your eyes and begin to choke, you try to find your parents but you can't get past the toddler-proof gate in the doorway scream unable to accept your Screi doom. That's when Yesterday 10:31 pm Bill and hitler You lie down and Surely that's the only reasonable answer your father rushes in to collect you, you cling onto him for vou dear life as he takes you e and places you on the grass "IHAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!u Yesterday 10:49 pm Actually no! The correct answer is to shoot Stuart twice but I admire your conviction. He bt's the last you ever see back inside, but runs alas, of him You escape the ordeal with minor scarring, but it's nothing in mparison to the heartbreak you Today 12:40 am Can I get an explanation for that one pls sir felt that night. You have no grandparents, no aunties or uncles, no guardians whatsoever, and as a result, are forced to live in an orphanage. Today 1:11 am Sure can. Imagine this. You are four years old, and you've got a mother and father who love you very much. Type a message Send Type a message Send Iidppess IS. Day, weeks, months, years go by, and as you watch all the other orphans leave with their new foster parents, you're hopes of I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me. having a happy life diminish more and more. One day a young Today 3:17 am couple come in, they remind you Can I change my answer डि ग कार सा much of your parents except ा they've already got a क पाCgical Be my guest son. But that's okay. You try extra hard to make an impression on this family a f your last chance at livinga shildhood, When the time has as Me so I never have to think about that again come for them to formally tell the which child orphanage matron they are going to adopt, you eagerly await your name to be announced. That's when they adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys your morale, you give up, you run away from the orphanage, get raised by the streets as a petty pickpocket, you'll never remember what true happiness is. That's the spirit. Next time I can tell you about the time Shrek cyberbullied me if you want. Today 10:22 am Okay pls don't unmatch, this is important stuff now. But do you think it's sometimes better to ask forgiveness rather than permission? I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me Yes Type a message Send Type a message.. Send Why he hates Stuart Little
Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: You got two bullets. You're in a
 room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi
 B, a massive spider and Stuart
 Little. Who you shooting?
 Your days are filled with fun and
 kindness as your loving parents
 try to nurture you in the most
 pleasant environment possible.
 One day you awaken one night to
 the smell of smoke, you open your
 eyes and begin to choke, you try
 to find your parents but you can't
 get past the toddler-proof gate in
 the doorway
 scream unable to accept your
 Screi doom. That's when
 Yesterday 10:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 You lie down and
 Surely that's the only reasonable
 answer
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for vou
 dear life as he takes you e
 and places you on the grass
 "IHAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!u
 Yesterday 10:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer is
 to shoot Stuart twice but I admire
 your conviction.
 He bt's the last you ever see
 back inside, but
 runs
 alas,
 of him
 You escape the ordeal with minor
 scarring, but it's nothing in
 mparison to the heartbreak you
 Today 12:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for that
 one pls sir
 felt that night. You have no
 grandparents, no aunties or
 uncles, no guardians whatsoever,
 and as a result, are forced to live
 in an orphanage.
 Today 1:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother and
 father who love you very much.
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message
 Send
 Iidppess IS.
 Day, weeks, months, years go by,
 and as you watch all the other
 orphans leave with their new
 foster parents, you're hopes of
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me.
 having a happy life diminish more
 and more. One day a young
 Today 3:17 am
 couple come in, they remind you
 Can I change my answer
 डि ग कार सा
 much of your parents except
 ा
 they've already got a
 क पाCgical
 Be my guest
 son. But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make
 an impression on
 this family a f your last
 chance at livinga
 shildhood, When the time has
 as
 Me so I never have to think about
 that again
 come for them to formally tell the
 which child
 orphanage matron
 they are going to adopt, you
 eagerly await your name to be
 announced. That's when they
 adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD
 OF YOU. This destroys your
 morale, you give up, you run away
 from the orphanage, get raised by
 the streets as a petty pickpocket,
 you'll never remember what true
 happiness is.
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Today 10:22 am
 Okay pls don't unmatch, this is
 important stuff now. But do you
 think it's sometimes better to ask
 forgiveness rather than
 permission?
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Yes
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message..
 Send
Why he hates Stuart Little

Why he hates Stuart Little

Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: 4:32 You got two bullets. You're in a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi B, a massive spider and Stuart Little. Who you shooting? Wednesday 11:31 pm Bill and hitler Surely that's the only reasonable answer Wednesday 11:49 pm Actually no! The correct answer is to shoot Stuart twice butI admire your conviction. Today 1:40 am Can I get an explanation for that one pls sir Today 2:11 am Sure can. Imagine this. You are four years old, and you've got a mother and father who love you very much. Your days are filled with fun and kindness as your loving parents try to nurture you in the most pleasant environment possible. One day you awaken one to the smell of smoke, night you open your eyes and begin to choke, you try to find your parents but you can't get past the toddler-proof gate in the doorway. You lie down and scream, unable to accept your impending doom. That's when your father rushes in to collect you, you cling onto him for your dear life as he takes you outside and places you on the grass. "I HAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!" He bravely runs back inside, but alas, that's the last you ever see of him. You escape the ordeal with minor scarring, but it's nothing in comparison to the heartbreak you felt that night. You have no grandparents, no aunties or uncles, no guardians whatsoever, and as a result, are forced to live in an orphanage Day, weeks, months, years go by, and as you watch all the other orphans leave with their new foster parents, you're hopes of having a happy life diminish more and more. One day a young couple come in, they remind you much of your parents except they've already got a biological son. But that's okay. You try extra hard to make an impression on this family as this may be your last chance at living a fulfilled childhood. When the time has come for them to formally tell the orphanage matron which child they are going to adopt, you eagerly await your name to be announced. That's when they adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys your morale, you give up, you run away from the orphanage get raised by the streets as a petty pickpocket, you'll never remember what true happiness Is I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me Today 4:17 am Can I change my answer Be my guest Me so I never have to think about that again That's the spirit. Next time I can tell you about the time Shrek cyberbullied me if you want. Sent Type a message GIF Why I hate Stuart Little.
Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: 4:32
 You got two bullets. You're in
 a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby,
 Cardi B, a massive spider and
 Stuart Little. Who you shooting?
 Wednesday 11:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 Surely that's the only
 reasonable answer
 Wednesday 11:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer
 is to shoot Stuart twice butI
 admire your conviction.
 Today 1:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for
 that one pls sir
 Today 2:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother
 and father who love you very
 much. Your days are filled with
 fun and kindness as your loving
 parents try to nurture you in
 the most pleasant environment
 possible.
 One day you awaken one
 to the smell of smoke,
 night
 you open your eyes and begin
 to choke, you try to find your
 parents but you can't get past
 the toddler-proof gate in the
 doorway. You lie down and
 scream, unable to accept your
 impending doom. That's when
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for your
 dear life as he takes you outside
 and places you on the grass.
 "I HAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!"
 He bravely runs back inside, but
 alas, that's the last you ever see
 of him.
 You escape the ordeal with
 minor scarring, but it's nothing
 in comparison to the heartbreak
 you felt that night. You have
 no grandparents, no aunties
 or uncles, no guardians
 whatsoever, and as a result, are
 forced to live in an orphanage
 Day, weeks, months, years go
 by, and as you watch all the
 other orphans leave with their
 new foster parents, you're
 hopes of having a happy life
 diminish more and more. One
 day a young couple come
 in, they remind you much of
 your parents except they've
 already got a biological son.
 But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make an impression on
 this family as this may be your
 last chance at living a fulfilled
 childhood. When the time has
 come for them to formally tell
 the orphanage matron which
 child they are going to adopt,
 you eagerly await your name
 to be announced. That's when
 they adopt A FUCKING RAT
 INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys
 your morale, you give up, you
 run away from the orphanage
 get raised by the streets as a
 petty pickpocket, you'll never
 remember what true happiness
 Is
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Today 4:17 am
 Can I change my answer
 Be my guest
 Me so I never have to think
 about that again
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Sent
 Type a message
 GIF
Why I hate Stuart Little.

Why I hate Stuart Little.

Food, Tumblr, and Blog: mbdtfpt2: This blanket protects you from fan diarrhea Stop that comment on the original post legit made me choke on my food and laugh so hard I sharted and got a headache
Food, Tumblr, and Blog: mbdtfpt2:
This blanket protects you from fan diarrhea

Stop that comment on the original post legit made me choke on my food and laugh so hard I sharted and got a headache

mbdtfpt2: This blanket protects you from fan diarrhea Stop that comment on the original post legit made me choke on my food and laugh so ha...

Tumblr, Best, and Blog: adamjk: cumleak: this is probably the best compilation out there it’s hard to believe this entire moment in our lifetimes has come and gone
Tumblr, Best, and Blog: adamjk:
cumleak:

this is probably the best compilation out there

it’s hard to believe this entire moment in our lifetimes has come and gone

adamjk: cumleak: this is probably the best compilation out there it’s hard to believe this entire moment in our lifetimes has come and gon...

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:



The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills