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A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

Dank, Memes, and Tumblr: danktoday: What has Putin told this child by A1readyReadIt MORE MEMES “Have you ever heard the tale of darts pleaguis the wise…”
Dank, Memes, and Tumblr: danktoday:

What has Putin told this child by A1readyReadIt
MORE MEMES

“Have you ever heard the tale of darts pleaguis the wise…”

danktoday: What has Putin told this child by A1readyReadIt MORE MEMES “Have you ever heard the tale of darts pleaguis the wise…”

Horses, Lmao, and Lol: AT&T Wi-Fi 11:52 AM O71 % O 13% @ o 29 % l AT&T LTE 5:36 PM ll AT&T Wi-Fi ll AT&T Wi-Fi 11:16 AM 2:24 PM Julianna < Naruka Angela Jessica Today Yesterday Today Today Hey Hey ( hey! Нeyy Today Is for horses Is for horses Is for horses o 42 % Is for horses AT&T Wi-Fi 3:25 PM llAT&T Wi-Fi Delivered 9:54 AM Tara 97 % ll AT&T Wi-Fi 12:29 PM 1 0 Fabiana hahaha Today Kim Yesterday Hey hi Dec 9, 2018 Hey AT&T Wi-Fi Неyy 11:24 AM Is for horses Today Delivered o 40% lAT&T Wi-Fi 2:35 PM Is for horses Is for horses Nicole Linzi Delivered O o 43% Spotify 2:14 PM YOU MATCHED WITH NICOLE ON 2/4/19 Today Julia true Нey!! Hey iAT&T Wi-Fi 10:25 PM 8 % D - 1 Yesterday Today 11:23 AM Elle Is for horses Неy Is for horses Today AT&T Wi-Fi Today 5:48 PM Sent AT&T Wi-Fi o 81% 8:46 PM Jenny Неу Is for horses Emma Today Delivered Is for horses Today Неy Lmao Delivered Hey Is for horses AT&T Wi-Fi 2:42 PM I'm sorry. Hi Is for horses Delivered Cortney AT&T Wi-Fi 10:29 AM Delivered Lol it is AT&T Wi-Fi 6:23 PM Today Katie Jessica Hey What's up? Yesterday Today K Mail l 10 96 % 12:28 PM Неу Is for horses Angelique Hey! 39% Is for horses ll AT&T Wi-Fi 2:35 PM Today Is for horses Marlene Bumble tried to bully me into not just saying hey Hey Delivered Today but Is for horses hahah, how are you? Hey Today Delivered AT&T Wi-Fi 3:16 PM 10% 29% Is for horses Yeah it behooves you to get a bit more creative Loll Lydia Delivered How are you? AT&T Wi-Fi O 24% 11:08 PM Today Delivered 10:21 AM e o 85% Messages l Shey AT&T LTE 77% Hey 11:44 AM Kelly Justine Today Is for horses Today Неyw Today Delivered Heyy Hey Is for horses Haven't heard that in a while lo Is for horses Is for horses ll AT&T Wi-Fi o40% 1:44 PM Delivered @ o 32 % . l AT&T Wi-Fi 5:24 PM Eve Maybe if I sent hayyy Nora Today Today Нey! Hey:) Is for horses Is for horses Delivered I call this piece “What the heck is wrong with me?”
Horses, Lmao, and Lol: AT&T Wi-Fi
 11:52 AM
 O71 %
 O 13%
 @ o 29 %
 l AT&T LTE
 5:36 PM
 ll AT&T Wi-Fi
 ll AT&T Wi-Fi
 11:16 AM
 2:24 PM
 Julianna
 <
 Naruka
 Angela
 Jessica
 Today
 Yesterday
 Today
 Today
 Hey
 Hey (
 hey!
 Нeyy
 Today
 Is for horses
 Is for horses
 Is for horses
 o 42 %
 Is for horses
 AT&T Wi-Fi
 3:25 PM
 llAT&T Wi-Fi
 Delivered
 9:54 AM
 Tara
 97 %
 ll AT&T Wi-Fi
 12:29 PM
 1 0
 Fabiana
 hahaha
 Today
 Kim
 Yesterday
 Hey
 hi
 Dec 9, 2018
 Hey
 AT&T Wi-Fi
 Неyy
 11:24 AM
 Is for horses
 Today
 Delivered
 o 40%
 lAT&T Wi-Fi
 2:35 PM
 Is for horses
 Is for horses
 Nicole
 Linzi
 Delivered
 O o 43%
 Spotify
 2:14 PM
 YOU MATCHED WITH NICOLE ON 2/4/19
 Today
 Julia
 true
 Нey!!
 Hey
 iAT&T Wi-Fi
 10:25 PM
 8 % D -
 1
 Yesterday
 Today 11:23 AM
 Elle
 Is for horses
 Неy
 Is for horses
 Today
 AT&T Wi-Fi
 Today
 5:48 PM
 Sent
 AT&T Wi-Fi
 o 81%
 8:46 PM
 Jenny
 Неу
 Is for horses
 Emma
 Today
 Delivered
 Is for horses
 Today
 Неy
 Lmao
 Delivered
 Hey
 Is for horses
 AT&T Wi-Fi
 2:42 PM
 I'm sorry. Hi
 Is for horses
 Delivered
 Cortney
 AT&T Wi-Fi
 10:29 AM
 Delivered
 Lol it is
 AT&T Wi-Fi
 6:23 PM
 Today
 Katie
 Jessica
 Hey
 What's up?
 Yesterday
 Today
 K Mail l
 10 96 %
 12:28 PM
 Неу
 Is for horses
 Angelique
 Hey!
 39%
 Is for horses
 ll AT&T Wi-Fi
 2:35 PM
 Today
 Is for horses
 Marlene
 Bumble tried to bully me
 into not just saying hey
 Hey
 Delivered
 Today
 but
 Is for horses
 hahah, how are you?
 Hey
 Today
 Delivered
 AT&T Wi-Fi
 3:16 PM
 10% 29%
 Is for horses
 Yeah it behooves you to
 get a bit more creative
 Loll
 Lydia
 Delivered
 How are you?
 AT&T Wi-Fi
 O 24%
 11:08 PM
 Today
 Delivered
 10:21 AM
 e o 85%
 Messages l
 Shey
 AT&T LTE
 77%
 Hey
 11:44 AM
 Kelly
 Justine
 Today
 Is for horses
 Today
 Неyw
 Today
 Delivered
 Heyy
 Hey
 Is for horses
 Haven't heard that in a
 while lo
 Is for horses
 Is for horses
 ll AT&T Wi-Fi
 o40%
 1:44 PM
 Delivered
 @ o 32 % .
 l AT&T Wi-Fi
 5:24 PM
 Eve
 Maybe if I sent hayyy
 Nora
 Today
 Today
 Нey!
 Hey:)
 Is for horses
 Is for horses
 Delivered
I call this piece “What the heck is wrong with me?”

I call this piece “What the heck is wrong with me?”

Definitely, Facebook, and Fall: Autumn Today 11 38 AM Sorry, I'm not really looking for a relationship, but I saw your name and really wanted to use this pickup line. You can call me Winter because I wont come until Autumn is finished. Alright, you can unmatch me now. LOL thanks for that The pleasure is all mine... well, I guess that pickup line says the opposite, but you get the general idea As long as it at least made you're day little better too, it was worth it Do you mind if l post it on Facebook? I'll crop your name & pic It was rly that impressive Yeah, that's fine. Word My Tinder game definitely peaked there. It was by far the best pickup line AND autumn joke I've ever heard My friend commented "ironic bc Washington just completely skipped autumn this year" Imfao I said "yeah story of my fuckin life" I'll make it up next and we can skip me until you ee come twice. Damn look at you You're on a roll What can I say, you bring out the colors in me Autumn Oh my god I'd rather you bring them out in me Well, there's a chance Autumn might come early for next year. I think that's all I got. I've heard the anticipation is the best part though Anymore and I wouldn't want you to fall for me. Hey now get too cocky here, I just like pickup lines I had to switch to "fall" for that one. Feel like an idiot That was too clever even for me It's alright, I'll leaf quietly I'm in disbeleaf Damn I can't think of anything else I'm trying Well, this went better than I thought it would actually. I thought you would have autumnatically unmatched me. АННН LMAO Don't trees me like that Whew, what a re-leaf There's no season for you to be acting this way Yeah, I'm burnt out. "autumnatically That was a pretty damn good one This has probably been greatest match I've ever gotten. I gotta say, I agree Mind if I post this on the internet for internet points? Do it, I did If I could send you screenshots of people's reactions I totally would (Update) It’s that time of year
Definitely, Facebook, and Fall: Autumn
 Today 11 38 AM
 Sorry, I'm not really looking for a relationship, but
 I saw your name and really wanted to use this
 pickup line.
 You can call me Winter because I wont come until
 Autumn is finished.
 Alright, you can unmatch me now.
 LOL thanks for that
 The pleasure is all mine... well, I guess that pickup
 line says the opposite, but you get the general
 idea
 As long as it at least made you're day little better
 too, it was worth it
 Do you mind if l post it on Facebook? I'll crop
 your name & pic
 It was rly that impressive
 Yeah, that's fine.
 Word
 My Tinder game definitely peaked there.
 It was by far the best pickup line AND autumn
 joke I've ever heard
 My friend commented "ironic bc Washington just
 completely skipped autumn this year" Imfao
 I said "yeah story of my fuckin life"
 I'll make it up next and we can skip me until you
 ee
 come twice.
 Damn look at you
 You're on a roll
 What can I say, you bring out the colors in me
 Autumn
 Oh my god
 I'd rather you bring them out in me
 Well, there's a chance Autumn might come early
 for next year.
 I think that's all I got.
 I've heard the anticipation is the best part though
 Anymore and I wouldn't want you to fall for me.
 Hey now get too cocky here, I just like pickup
 lines
 I had to switch to "fall" for that one.
 Feel like an idiot
 That was too clever even for me
 It's alright, I'll leaf quietly
 I'm in disbeleaf
 Damn I can't think of anything else
 I'm trying
 Well, this went better than I thought it would
 actually. I thought you would have autumnatically
 unmatched me.
 АННН LMAO
 Don't trees me like that
 Whew, what a re-leaf
 There's no season for you to be acting this way
 Yeah, I'm burnt out.
 "autumnatically
 That was a pretty damn good one
 This has probably been greatest match I've ever
 gotten.
 I gotta say, I agree
 Mind if I post this on the internet for internet
 points?
 Do it, I did
 If I could send you screenshots of people's
 reactions I totally would
(Update) It’s that time of year

(Update) It’s that time of year

A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

Animals, Deer, and Fucking: I HAVE TINY CRUSTACEANS STUCK IN MY GILLS! I'M HUNGRY FOR SEA BUGS! WHITETIP SHARK CLEANER WRASSE I NEED SOMEONE TO CARRY MY POLLEN TO OTHER FLOWERS I NEED NECTAR TO EAT! TICKSEED FLOWERS BUCKEYE BUTTERFLY l'M LOOKING FOR A BIG MEAL, BUT I NEED HELP FINDING A DEER I WANT TO EAT VENISON, BUT I'M TOO SMALL TO HUNT DEER! COMMON RAVEN COYOTE I NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP ANTS FROM EATING MY EGGS! I WANT A HOME WITH A BODYGUARD AND FREE ANT DELIVERY INCLUDED! COLOMBIAN LESSERBLACK TARANTULA DOTTED HUMMING FROG M. TILLERY - CYANEUS.COM /w/Av[ paramud: personal-scientist: draconym: themaishi: draconym: Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why do so many of my big work projects revolve around Valentine’s programs?) Also, by “sea bugs,” I obviously meant “gnathiid isopod larvae.” The himan one is not as good as the rest If you mean the mutualism between humans and honeyguides, I respectfully disagree. Human/honeyguide mutualism is one of the most sophisticated interspecies relationships in the animal kingdom. While humans have domesticated many other animals for their labor, the honeyguide remains entirely wild while electing to partner up with humans. Both humans and honeyguides have each developed specific calls to signal to one another that they are on the hunt, and these calls greatly increase the likelihood of success. According to this paper: The production of this sound increased the probability of being guided by a honeyguide from about 33 to 66% and the overall probability of thus finding a bees’ nest from 17 to 54%, as compared with other animal or human sounds of similar amplitude. That’s fucking bonkers, you guys!!! There are people out there who over the course of human history have created a sound to communicate with birds, and the birds themselves have a Human Call they use to communicate with us. There is no other wild animal you can just make noises at and immediately communicate that you want it to come help you!!! What’s more, many scientists consider this relationship more exploitative on the honeyguide’s end than on our end! That’s unprecedented!! These birds have essentially negotiated a trade deal with humanity!!!! This is the stuff of fantasy movies, except it’s real. Here’s an article from The Guardian about the broader implications of this kind of relationship with wild animals. It’s a good read: Apart from with our gut bacteria, we humans don’t really have any mutualistic relationships with other creatures. There is no special tune that we can sing to magically attract nearby hedgehogs into our gardens to feast on slugs. There will never be a special wink that fishermen can offer otters, encouraging them to catch fish that we might then de-bone for them, in return for some of the catch. The world is poorer for this. OKAY BUT the noise we make at honeyguides is one of my favorite noises there is, and if y’all haven’t heard the “BRRR-HM?” call that hunters use to summon honeyguides you are SERIOUSLY missing out. There’s an audio clip on the Audobon Society’s article about them [link] @metalpaca
Animals, Deer, and Fucking: I HAVE TINY CRUSTACEANS
 STUCK IN MY GILLS!
 I'M HUNGRY FOR SEA BUGS!
 WHITETIP SHARK
 CLEANER WRASSE
 I NEED SOMEONE TO CARRY
 MY POLLEN TO OTHER FLOWERS
 I NEED NECTAR TO EAT!
 TICKSEED FLOWERS
 BUCKEYE BUTTERFLY
 l'M LOOKING FOR A BIG MEAL,
 BUT I NEED HELP FINDING A DEER
 I WANT TO EAT VENISON, BUT
 I'M TOO SMALL TO HUNT DEER!
 COMMON RAVEN
 COYOTE
 I NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP
 ANTS FROM EATING MY EGGS!
 I WANT A HOME WITH A BODYGUARD
 AND FREE ANT DELIVERY INCLUDED!
 COLOMBIAN LESSERBLACK TARANTULA
 DOTTED HUMMING FROG
 M. TILLERY - CYANEUS.COM
 /w/Av[
paramud:

personal-scientist:
draconym:

themaishi:

draconym:

Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why do so many of my big work projects revolve around Valentine’s programs?)
Also, by “sea bugs,” I obviously meant “gnathiid isopod larvae.”


The himan one is not as good as the rest 

If you mean the mutualism between humans and honeyguides, I respectfully disagree. Human/honeyguide mutualism is one of the most sophisticated interspecies relationships in the animal kingdom.
While humans have domesticated many other animals for their labor, the honeyguide remains entirely wild while electing to partner up with humans. Both humans and honeyguides have each developed specific calls to signal to one another that they are on the hunt, and these calls greatly increase the likelihood of success. According to this paper:
The production of this sound increased the probability of being guided 
by a honeyguide from about 33 to 66% and the overall probability of thus
 finding a bees’ nest from 17 to 54%, as compared with other animal or 
human sounds of similar amplitude.
That’s fucking bonkers, you guys!!! There are people out there who over the course of human history have created a sound to communicate with birds, and the birds themselves have a Human Call they use to communicate with us. There is no other wild animal you can just make noises at and immediately communicate that you want it to come help you!!!
What’s more, many scientists consider this relationship more exploitative on the honeyguide’s end than on our end! That’s unprecedented!! These birds have essentially negotiated a trade deal with humanity!!!! This is the stuff of fantasy movies, except it’s real.
Here’s an article from The Guardian about the broader implications of this kind of relationship with wild animals. It’s a good read:

Apart from with our gut bacteria, we humans don’t really have any 
mutualistic relationships with other creatures. There is no special tune
 that we can sing to magically attract nearby hedgehogs into our gardens
 to feast on slugs. There will never be a special wink that fishermen 
can offer otters, encouraging them to catch fish that we might then 
de-bone for them, in return for some of the catch. The world is poorer 
for this.



OKAY BUT the noise we make at honeyguides is one of my favorite noises there is, and if y’all haven’t heard the “BRRR-HM?” call that hunters use to summon honeyguides you are SERIOUSLY missing out. 
There’s an audio clip on the Audobon Society’s article about them [link]


@metalpaca

paramud: personal-scientist: draconym: themaishi: draconym: Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why ...

A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist