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Android, Bad, and Chill: When you tell your boyfriend a joke and the girl under his bed starts laughing too Never forget your girls favorite color. I can’t explain why dudes cheat but answer this, if you got money in your wallet and you find another dollar, are you not going to pick it up? Long story short my girl was out of town at her friends graduation. She left me a spear key to come feed her dog through out the week. I did the opposite, I treated him like Gary the snail. I had my side girl over bout to get busy. You know that deep gut feeling that tells you “ight chill out” but you ignore it? That be God mercy tryna save you. I’m catching some bomb neck, I’m talking about My meat going through a 5 star car wash when I hear a engine pull up out front. I look out the window and see my girl hop out a Uber. My side girl hid under the bed. I can tell She done this before. I slid under the sheets and fake sleep. My girl comes in talking about she changed her flight to come home sooner. Android users text take 3 business days. Babe starts asking me what’s her favorite color. I confidently blurted our magenta. Here comes her dog with a red thong in his mouth. Damn dogs can’t stick together? The FBI agent in her came out and starts interrogating me. Under her sheets I’m getting my dick rode by bed bugs during the interrogation process. Im tryna figure how to get this girl out this crib before I’m toast. My girl mid way through her sentence when you hear a sneeze under her bed. Within seconds my girl downloaded a heart beat sensor. I swear Android users got it good. This is now modern warfare. I watch my girl play search&destroy with my side chick. Side chicks heartless so she couldn’t detect her. Me being the real nigga I am had to flip the whole situation on her. “I don’t like how you assume me as a black man cheat, if you don’t trust me Idk about this” Tears in my eyes because it smelled like fish cakes and my eyes couldn’t take it. My girl felt bad and hit me with the double hand twist Gawk combo. My girl said she was coming back Sunday and came back Friday. She lied to me. I can’t date liars fam. I broke up with her. I’m single and my side girl still live under my ex bed. She text me from time to time for help. Shoulda had a escape rope.
Android, Bad, and Chill: When you tell your boyfriend a joke
 and the girl under his bed starts
 laughing too
Never forget your girls favorite color. I can’t explain why dudes cheat but answer this, if you got money in your wallet and you find another dollar, are you not going to pick it up? Long story short my girl was out of town at her friends graduation. She left me a spear key to come feed her dog through out the week. I did the opposite, I treated him like Gary the snail. I had my side girl over bout to get busy. You know that deep gut feeling that tells you “ight chill out” but you ignore it? That be God mercy tryna save you. I’m catching some bomb neck, I’m talking about My meat going through a 5 star car wash when I hear a engine pull up out front. I look out the window and see my girl hop out a Uber. My side girl hid under the bed. I can tell She done this before. I slid under the sheets and fake sleep. My girl comes in talking about she changed her flight to come home sooner. Android users text take 3 business days. Babe starts asking me what’s her favorite color. I confidently blurted our magenta. Here comes her dog with a red thong in his mouth. Damn dogs can’t stick together? The FBI agent in her came out and starts interrogating me. Under her sheets I’m getting my dick rode by bed bugs during the interrogation process. Im tryna figure how to get this girl out this crib before I’m toast. My girl mid way through her sentence when you hear a sneeze under her bed. Within seconds my girl downloaded a heart beat sensor. I swear Android users got it good. This is now modern warfare. I watch my girl play search&destroy with my side chick. Side chicks heartless so she couldn’t detect her. Me being the real nigga I am had to flip the whole situation on her. “I don’t like how you assume me as a black man cheat, if you don’t trust me Idk about this” Tears in my eyes because it smelled like fish cakes and my eyes couldn’t take it. My girl felt bad and hit me with the double hand twist Gawk combo. My girl said she was coming back Sunday and came back Friday. She lied to me. I can’t date liars fam. I broke up with her. I’m single and my side girl still live under my ex bed. She text me from time to time for help. Shoulda had a escape rope.

Never forget your girls favorite color. I can’t explain why dudes cheat but answer this, if you got money in your wallet and you find anothe...

Be Like, Doctor, and Fucking: @Dr_Sweets23 House was a weird show. Patients would be rushed the hospital with unexplained fevers and heart problems. And House would come in like "did you check his asshole for toothpicks?" And they'd be like "damn u right." 8/4/18, 1:43 PM 13.6K Retweets 39.9K Likes hst3000: libertarirynn: skepticphantom: libertarirynn: melonmemes: Nothin gets past House✋🏽🚫 I love that there are people sharing this who might not realize there is literally an episode where a fucking toothpick was the culprit. On the flip side of that example I remember an episode where House was convinced a womans condition was being caused by a tick, but repeated searches of her body found none, until towards the end of the episode where he was like “theres one place we havnt looked..” and he pulled out a tick hanging around her snatch. Didn’t he basically steal that patient and snatch the bug out of her cootch when they were trapped in an elevator together? The only reason he didn’t get charged with sexual assault, have his medical license set ablaze, and get locked in jail for the rest of his life was because it happened to be the right guess and House rarely faces any sort of serious consequences for utterly outrageous behavior 😂 There’s actually an entire episodes that revolves around the consequences of letting him do that sort of stuff because he’s usually right. Cuddy almost lets a suicidally depressed man who’s basically locked into his body go without treatment to drive that in to House. That’s why I said “rarely“. There are some episodes that go for high drama, like the one you mentioned or the one where Wilson’s girlfriend dies. But in most day-to-day episodes he does things no doctor would ever do without being litigated to hell and back. All while Cuddy reprimands him with her tits hanging out, which as we all know is how hospital directors typically dress. Not that I’m complaining, I realize it’s a fictional show that relies on drama and suspension of disbelief to be interesting.
Be Like, Doctor, and Fucking: @Dr_Sweets23
 House was a weird show. Patients
 would be rushed the hospital with
 unexplained fevers and heart
 problems. And House would come in
 like "did you check his asshole for
 toothpicks?" And they'd be like
 "damn u right."
 8/4/18, 1:43 PM
 13.6K Retweets 39.9K Likes
hst3000:
libertarirynn:

skepticphantom:

libertarirynn:

melonmemes:

Nothin gets past House✋🏽🚫

I love that there are people sharing this who might not realize there is literally an episode where a fucking toothpick was the culprit. 

On the flip side of that example I remember an episode where House was convinced a womans condition was being caused by a tick, but repeated searches of her body found none, until towards the end of the episode where he was like “theres one place we havnt looked..” and he pulled out a tick hanging around her snatch.

Didn’t he basically steal that patient and snatch the bug out of her cootch when they were trapped in an elevator together? The only reason he didn’t get charged with sexual assault, have his medical license set ablaze, and get locked in jail for the rest of his life was because it happened to be the right guess and House rarely faces any sort of serious consequences for utterly outrageous behavior 😂

There’s actually an entire episodes that revolves around the consequences of letting him do that sort of stuff because he’s usually right. Cuddy almost lets a suicidally depressed man who’s basically locked into his body go without treatment to drive that in to House.
That’s why I said “rarely“. There are some episodes that go for high drama, like the one you mentioned or the one where Wilson’s girlfriend dies. But in most day-to-day episodes he does things no doctor would ever do without being litigated to hell and back. All while Cuddy reprimands him with her tits hanging out, which as we all know is how hospital directors typically dress. Not that I’m complaining, I realize it’s a fictional show that relies on drama and suspension of disbelief to be interesting.

hst3000: libertarirynn: skepticphantom: libertarirynn: melonmemes: Nothin gets past House✋🏽🚫 I love that there are people sharing this ...