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Apparently, Head, and Parents: epochayur people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted oonabashed This is true. I once did this to cheat at a pool game, and a kid in goggles saw me do it He wanted to know how, so l told him I was part mermaid. He wanted to call bullshit, but I was like, look kid, I can prove t, but you're not allowed to tell anyone under 18. He said what about his mom, I said, sure, but she won't believe you, so it didn't matter if he ratted on me to an adult. He was skeptical but agreed. For the next ten minutes I executed any number of water related feats-I've been swimming since I was 3 and was on the swimming and diving team in high school I crossed the entire span of the pool underwater without taking a breath. I sat on the bottom of the pool for a minute. I lifted him over my head while only treading water. I floated face down without moving for a convincing stretch of time. I did a pretty choice inward pike off the diving board. This was what really convinced him. He'd seen a dolphin show once, apparently, and thought it was pretty comparable So yeah. This kid was straight up convinced I was a mermaid and was losing his shit and trying to figure out how to get around his promise He went over to the hottub to tell all the parents and they all like, smiled and laughed and nodded. He could tell they didn't believe him. He came back and was like You were right about adults." Yeah kid, I know" "Well but, you're the most important discovery I've ever made! I gotta tell someonel" Well. You need to establish some credibility first, I told him. "You have to prove to people that you're a serious scientific thinker, and then when you say stuff like this, they might believe you. He thought about this for a second. "But what if you just showed them?" and I said it was against half memaid rules to show adults anything that could make them suspicious. He took this seriously He spent the rest of his time in the pool following me around. I taught him how to hold his breath underwater without plugging his nose and how to do a backstroke I'm still proud of this, and regret nothing o marky-mark-quack-quack-quack 698,054 notes 14 Times People On Tumblr Told Really Great Stories
Apparently, Head, and Parents: epochayur
 people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open
 are not to be trusted
 oonabashed
 This is true. I once did this to cheat at a pool game, and a kid in
 goggles saw me do it He wanted to know how, so l told him I was part
 mermaid. He wanted to call bullshit, but I was like, look kid, I can prove
 t, but you're not allowed to tell anyone under 18. He said what about his
 mom, I said, sure, but she won't believe you, so it didn't matter if he
 ratted on me to an adult. He was skeptical but agreed. For the next ten
 minutes I executed any number of water related feats-I've been
 swimming since I was 3 and was on the swimming and diving team in
 high school I crossed the entire span of the pool underwater without
 taking a breath. I sat on the bottom of the pool for a minute. I lifted him
 over my head while only treading water. I floated face down without
 moving for a convincing stretch of time. I did a pretty choice inward pike
 off the diving board. This was what really convinced him. He'd seen a
 dolphin show once, apparently, and thought it was pretty comparable
 So yeah. This kid was straight up convinced I was a mermaid and was
 losing his shit and trying to figure out how to get around his promise
 He went over to the hottub to tell all the parents and they all like, smiled
 and laughed and nodded. He could tell they didn't believe him. He came
 back and was like You were right about adults." Yeah kid, I
 know" "Well but, you're the most important discovery I've ever made! I
 gotta tell someonel" Well. You need to establish some credibility first,
 I told him. "You have to prove to people that you're a serious scientific
 thinker, and then when you say stuff like this, they might believe you.
 He thought about this for a second. "But what if you just showed
 them?" and I said it was against half memaid rules to show adults
 anything that could make them suspicious. He took this seriously He
 spent the rest of his time in the pool following me around. I taught him
 how to hold his breath underwater without plugging his nose and how
 to do a backstroke
 I'm still proud of this, and regret nothing
 o marky-mark-quack-quack-quack
 698,054 notes
14 Times People On Tumblr Told Really Great Stories

14 Times People On Tumblr Told Really Great Stories

Apparently, Head, and Parents: epochayur people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted oonabashed This is true. I once did this to cheat at a pool game, and a kid in goggles saw me do it. He wanted to know how, so I told him I was part mermaid. He wanted to call bullshit, but I was like, look kid, I can prove it, but you're not allowed to tell anyone under 18. He said what about his mom, I said, sure, but she won't believe you, so it didn't matter if he ratted on me to an adult. He was skeptical but agreed. For the next ten minutes I executed any number of water related feats- I've been swimming since I was 3 and was on the swimming and diving team in high school. I crossed the entire span of the pool underwater without taking a breath. I sat on the bottom of the pool for a minute. ifted him over my head while only treading water. I floated face down without moving for a convincing stretch of time. I did a pretty choice inward pike off the diving board. This was what really convinced him. He'd seen a dolphin show once, apparently, and thought it was pretty comparable. So yeah. This kid was straight up convinced I was a mermaid and was losing his shit and trying to figure out how to get around his promise. He went over to the hottub to tell all the parents and they all like, smiled and laughed and nodded. He could tell they didn't believe him. He came back and was like.... "You were right about adults. "Yeah kid, I know." "Well but, you're the most important discovery I've ever made! I gotta tell someone!" "Well. You need to establish some credibility first," I told him. "You have to prove to people that you're a serious scientific 11 thinker, and then when you say stuff like this, they might believe you." He thought about this for a second. "But what if you just showed them?" and I said it was against half mermaid rules to show adults anything that could make them suspicious. He took this seriously. He spent the rest of his time in the pool following me around. I taught him how to hold his breath underwater without plugging his nose and how to do a backstroke I'm still proud of this, and regret nothing marky-mark-quack-quack-quack 698,054 notes People that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted
Apparently, Head, and Parents: epochayur
 people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open
 are not to be trusted
 oonabashed
 This is true. I once did this to cheat at a pool game, and a kid in
 goggles saw me do it. He wanted to know how, so I told him I was part
 mermaid. He wanted to call bullshit, but I was like, look kid, I can prove
 it, but you're not allowed to tell anyone under 18. He said what about his
 mom, I said, sure, but she won't believe you, so it didn't matter if he
 ratted on me to an adult. He was skeptical but agreed. For the next ten
 minutes I executed any number of water related feats- I've been
 swimming since I was 3 and was on the swimming and diving team in
 high school. I crossed the entire span of the pool underwater without
 taking a breath. I sat on the bottom of the pool for a minute. ifted him
 over my head while only treading water. I floated face down without
 moving for a convincing stretch of time. I did a pretty choice inward pike
 off the diving board. This was what really convinced him. He'd seen a
 dolphin show once, apparently, and thought it was pretty comparable.
 So yeah. This kid was straight up convinced I was a mermaid and was
 losing his shit and trying to figure out how to get around his promise.
 He went over to the hottub to tell all the parents and they all like, smiled
 and laughed and nodded. He could tell they didn't believe him. He came
 back and was like.... "You were right about adults. "Yeah kid, I
 know." "Well but, you're the most important discovery I've ever made! I
 gotta tell someone!" "Well. You need to establish some credibility first,"
 I told him. "You have to prove to people that you're a serious scientific
 11
 thinker, and then when you say stuff like this, they might believe you."
 He thought about this for a second. "But what if you just showed
 them?" and I said it was against half mermaid rules to show adults
 anything that could make them suspicious. He took this seriously. He
 spent the rest of his time in the pool following me around. I taught him
 how to hold his breath underwater without plugging his nose and how
 to do a backstroke
 I'm still proud of this, and regret nothing
 marky-mark-quack-quack-quack
 698,054 notes
People that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted

People that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted

Bones, Butt, and Definitely: If you 'Share' this image, it may save dignity of atleast one girl in this world. Kindly share this) 41 4 1 2 STEP1 STEP 2 STEP 3 STEP 4 STEP5 STEP 6 STEP 8 STEP 9 This could save someone's life, please Share it. full-proof-goof: pizzoner: mayra-quijotesca: trustisforfools: mrspiritual: musicalpandas: gainingconfidencexo: havocados: emorenita: why aren’t these being reblogged more often?i rather see these than “keys in hand” Fatality Umm so since I’m stupid could someone kindly explain each step for me like step 3 am i head butting him in the face or the chest?  I think it depends on the height of the person, but I suppose the head is a more effective target. I hope this helps :) Step 1: Step back the moment he reaches for you. Step 2: Duck! Step 3: Head butt him in the chin. It’s very important that it is the chin and not the chest because it is much more uncomfortable and disorienting to have your teeth bang together especially if it cuts his tongue (which it will if it is in the way). More than likely height won’t matter. He will be leaning forward from the missed attempt at grabbing you. Step 4: Knee him in the balls. Step 5: When he doubles over, jab him on his back. I believe at the base of the neck just above the shoulder blades would be best. I’m not an expert, but this seems like the best place, imo. Step 6: Don’t lose contact. Bring your other hand over and slam your hands against the sides of his heads as hard as possible. Right on the ears is the best place; it is extremely disorienting if done correctly. Then take his head and bring it down on your knee as you bring your knee up. It’s very important that you avoid the nose because if you knee his nose it will definitely break and more than likely the bones will stab his brain killing him, so aim for his mouth instead. Step 7: Keep your knee up and bring your foot out to kick him over. Personally, I don’t like the image because it looks like she kicked him with her toes. You do not want to do that. Instead kick him with the ball or heel of your foot and put power behind it with a push. Step 8: He is on the ground. You could probably stop here and he would get the picture, but if you really want to…Your leg is still in the air from the kick. With all your force slam the edge of your your heel on his side. It will be more effective if you lower your body first by bending at the knee of the leg your weight is on. Done right, you can break a rib or two. reblogging again for that^ Reblogging for the steps in the image and the explanation in the comments. I don’t so much like the explanation on the image proper, but I appreciate the thought behind it (here, have a self-defense thing, it could save you) and so I’m passing it on. yes nice
Bones, Butt, and Definitely: If you 'Share' this image, it may save dignity of
 atleast one girl in this world. Kindly share this)
 41
 4
 1
 2
 STEP1
 STEP 2
 STEP 3
 STEP 4
 STEP5
 STEP 6
 STEP 8
 STEP 9
 This could save someone's life, please Share it.
full-proof-goof:

pizzoner:

mayra-quijotesca:

trustisforfools:

mrspiritual:

musicalpandas:

gainingconfidencexo:

havocados:

emorenita:

why aren’t these being reblogged more often?i rather see these than “keys in hand”

Fatality

Umm so since I’m stupid could someone kindly explain each step for me like step 3 am i head butting him in the face or the chest? 

I think it depends on the height of the person, but I suppose the head is a more effective target. I hope this helps :)

Step 1: Step back the moment he reaches for you.
Step 2: Duck!
Step 3: Head butt him in the chin. It’s very important that it is the chin and not the chest because it is much more uncomfortable and disorienting to have your teeth bang together especially if it cuts his tongue (which it will if it is in the way). More than likely height won’t matter. He will be leaning forward from the missed attempt at grabbing you.
Step 4: Knee him in the balls.
Step 5: When he doubles over, jab him on his back. I believe at the base of the neck just above the shoulder blades would be best. I’m not an expert, but this seems like the best place, imo.
Step 6: Don’t lose contact. Bring your other hand over and slam your hands against the sides of his heads as hard as possible. Right on the ears is the best place; it is extremely disorienting if done correctly. Then take his head and bring it down on your knee as you bring your knee up. It’s very important that you avoid the nose because if you knee his nose it will definitely break and more than likely the bones will stab his brain killing him, so aim for his mouth instead.
Step 7: Keep your knee up and bring your foot out to kick him over. Personally, I don’t like the image because it looks like she kicked him with her toes. You do not want to do that. Instead kick him with the ball or heel of your foot and put power behind it with a push.
Step 8: He is on the ground. You could probably stop here and he would get the picture, but if you really want to…Your leg is still in the air from the kick. With all your force slam the edge of your your heel on his side. It will be more effective if you lower your body first by bending at the knee of the leg your weight is on. Done right, you can break a rib or two.

reblogging again for that^

Reblogging for the steps in the image and the explanation in the comments. I don’t so much like the explanation on the image proper, but I appreciate the thought behind it (here, have a self-defense thing, it could save you) and so I’m passing it on.

yes

nice

full-proof-goof: pizzoner: mayra-quijotesca: trustisforfools: mrspiritual: musicalpandas: gainingconfidencexo: havocados: emorenita:...

Bones, Butt, and Definitely: If you 'Share' this image, it may save dignity of atleast one girl in this world. Kindly share this) 41 4 1 2 STEP1 STEP 2 STEP 3 STEP 4 STEP5 STEP 6 STEP 8 STEP 9 This could save someone's life, please Share it. full-proof-goof: pizzoner: mayra-quijotesca: trustisforfools: mrspiritual: musicalpandas: gainingconfidencexo: havocados: emorenita: why aren’t these being reblogged more often?i rather see these than “keys in hand” Fatality Umm so since I’m stupid could someone kindly explain each step for me like step 3 am i head butting him in the face or the chest?  I think it depends on the height of the person, but I suppose the head is a more effective target. I hope this helps :) Step 1: Step back the moment he reaches for you. Step 2: Duck! Step 3: Head butt him in the chin. It’s very important that it is the chin and not the chest because it is much more uncomfortable and disorienting to have your teeth bang together especially if it cuts his tongue (which it will if it is in the way). More than likely height won’t matter. He will be leaning forward from the missed attempt at grabbing you. Step 4: Knee him in the balls. Step 5: When he doubles over, jab him on his back. I believe at the base of the neck just above the shoulder blades would be best. I’m not an expert, but this seems like the best place, imo. Step 6: Don’t lose contact. Bring your other hand over and slam your hands against the sides of his heads as hard as possible. Right on the ears is the best place; it is extremely disorienting if done correctly. Then take his head and bring it down on your knee as you bring your knee up. It’s very important that you avoid the nose because if you knee his nose it will definitely break and more than likely the bones will stab his brain killing him, so aim for his mouth instead. Step 7: Keep your knee up and bring your foot out to kick him over. Personally, I don’t like the image because it looks like she kicked him with her toes. You do not want to do that. Instead kick him with the ball or heel of your foot and put power behind it with a push. Step 8: He is on the ground. You could probably stop here and he would get the picture, but if you really want to…Your leg is still in the air from the kick. With all your force slam the edge of your your heel on his side. It will be more effective if you lower your body first by bending at the knee of the leg your weight is on. Done right, you can break a rib or two. reblogging again for that^ Reblogging for the steps in the image and the explanation in the comments. I don’t so much like the explanation on the image proper, but I appreciate the thought behind it (here, have a self-defense thing, it could save you) and so I’m passing it on. yes nice
Bones, Butt, and Definitely: If you 'Share' this image, it may save dignity of
 atleast one girl in this world. Kindly share this)
 41
 4
 1
 2
 STEP1
 STEP 2
 STEP 3
 STEP 4
 STEP5
 STEP 6
 STEP 8
 STEP 9
 This could save someone's life, please Share it.
full-proof-goof:

pizzoner:

mayra-quijotesca:

trustisforfools:

mrspiritual:

musicalpandas:

gainingconfidencexo:

havocados:

emorenita:

why aren’t these being reblogged more often?i rather see these than “keys in hand”

Fatality

Umm so since I’m stupid could someone kindly explain each step for me like step 3 am i head butting him in the face or the chest? 

I think it depends on the height of the person, but I suppose the head is a more effective target. I hope this helps :)

Step 1: Step back the moment he reaches for you.
Step 2: Duck!
Step 3: Head butt him in the chin. It’s very important that it is the chin and not the chest because it is much more uncomfortable and disorienting to have your teeth bang together especially if it cuts his tongue (which it will if it is in the way). More than likely height won’t matter. He will be leaning forward from the missed attempt at grabbing you.
Step 4: Knee him in the balls.
Step 5: When he doubles over, jab him on his back. I believe at the base of the neck just above the shoulder blades would be best. I’m not an expert, but this seems like the best place, imo.
Step 6: Don’t lose contact. Bring your other hand over and slam your hands against the sides of his heads as hard as possible. Right on the ears is the best place; it is extremely disorienting if done correctly. Then take his head and bring it down on your knee as you bring your knee up. It’s very important that you avoid the nose because if you knee his nose it will definitely break and more than likely the bones will stab his brain killing him, so aim for his mouth instead.
Step 7: Keep your knee up and bring your foot out to kick him over. Personally, I don’t like the image because it looks like she kicked him with her toes. You do not want to do that. Instead kick him with the ball or heel of your foot and put power behind it with a push.
Step 8: He is on the ground. You could probably stop here and he would get the picture, but if you really want to…Your leg is still in the air from the kick. With all your force slam the edge of your your heel on his side. It will be more effective if you lower your body first by bending at the knee of the leg your weight is on. Done right, you can break a rib or two.

reblogging again for that^

Reblogging for the steps in the image and the explanation in the comments. I don’t so much like the explanation on the image proper, but I appreciate the thought behind it (here, have a self-defense thing, it could save you) and so I’m passing it on.

yes

nice

full-proof-goof: pizzoner: mayra-quijotesca: trustisforfools: mrspiritual: musicalpandas: gainingconfidencexo: havocados: emorenita:...

Church, Come Over, and Crying: THIS GIRL DID THIS AFTER THE BOYAT SCHOOL TWANGED HER BRA. WHAT FOLLOWED IS GOLD. (I'm an A&E nurse. We're not allowed our phones on us; they're to be kept in our lockers. A call comes into hospital reception on a private line for me.) Phone: "This is [Teacher] from [School]. There's been an incident involving [Daughter]. We need you to come in." Me: "Is she ill or injured? Can it wait until my shift is over in two hours?" Phone: "[Daughter] has struck another pupil. We've been trying to call you for 45 minutes. It really is very serious." (I go to the school and am ushered into the head's office. I see my daughter, her head of year, a male teacher, the headmaster, a boy with blood around his nose and a red face, and his parents.) Head: "Mrs. [My Name], how kind of you to FINALLY join us!" Me: “Yeah, things get busy in A&E. I've spent the last hour administering over 40 stitches to a seven-year-old who was beaten by his mother with a metal ladle and then I had to deal with the police regarding the matter. Sorry for the inconvenience." (After watching him try to not act embarrassed, he tells me what has happened. The boy had twanged my daughter's bra and she had punched him in the face twice. I got the impression they were more angry with my daughter than the boy.) Me: "Oh. And you want to know if l'm going to press charges against him for sexually assaulting my daughter and against the school for allowing him to do it?" (They all get jittery when I mention sexual assault and start speaking at once.) Teacher: "I don't think it was that serious." Head Of Year: "Let's not over-react." Head: "I think you're missing the point." (The boy's mother then starts crying. I turn to my daughter to find out what happened.) Daughter: "He kept pinging my bra. I asked him to stop but he didn't, so I told Mr. [Teacher]. He told me to 'ignore it.' [Boy] did it again and undid my bra so I hit him. Then he stopped." (I turn to the teacher.) Me: "You let him do this? Why didn't you stop him? Come over here and let me touch the front of your trousers." Teacher: "What?! No!" Me: "Does that seem inappropriate to you? Why don't you go and pull on Mrs. [Head Of Year]'s bra right now. See how fun it is for her. Or on that boy's mum's bra. Or mine. You think just because they're kids it's fun?" Head: "Mrs. [My Name]. With all due respect, [Daughter] still beat another child." Me: "No. She defended herself against a sexual attack from another pupil. Look at them; he's nearly 6 feet and 11 or 12 stone. She's 5 feet and 6 stone. He's a foot taller than her and twice as heavy. How many times should she have let him touch her? If the person who was supposed to help and protect her in a classroom couldn't be bothered what should she have done? He pulled her bra so hard it came undone." (The boy's mum is still crying and his dad looks both angry and embarrassed. The teacher won't make eye contact with me. I look at the headmaster.) Me: "I'm taking her home. I think the boy has learnt his lesson. And I hope nothing like this ever happens again, not only to [Daughter], but to any other girl at this school. You wouldn't let him do it to a member of staff so what makes you think he can do it to a girl of 15 is beyond me. I will be reporting this to the governors. And if you-" *turning to the boy* "-EVER touch my daughter again I WILL have you arrested for sexual assault. Do you understand me?" (I was so angry I gathered my daughter's things and left. I reported it to the Board of Governors, several of whom I know from Church (it's a Catholic school), and was assured it would be strongly dealt with. I also reported it to OFSTED (Government-run school monitoring) and they were equally as horrified and assured me they would contact the school. My daughter was put into a different class for that subject, away from the teacher and the boy.) somefancyname: x
Church, Come Over, and Crying: THIS GIRL DID THIS AFTER THE BOYAT SCHOOL
 TWANGED HER BRA. WHAT FOLLOWED IS GOLD.
 (I'm an A&E nurse. We're not allowed our
 phones on us; they're to be kept in our lockers.
 A call comes into hospital reception on a private
 line for me.)
 Phone: "This is [Teacher] from [School]. There's
 been an incident involving [Daughter]. We need
 you to come in."
 Me: "Is she ill or injured? Can it wait until my
 shift is over in two hours?"
 Phone: "[Daughter] has struck another pupil.
 We've been trying to call you for 45 minutes. It
 really is very serious."
 (I go to the school and am ushered into the
 head's office. I see my daughter, her head of
 year, a male teacher, the headmaster, a boy with
 blood around his nose and a red face, and his
 parents.)
 Head: "Mrs. [My Name], how kind of you to
 FINALLY join us!"
 Me: “Yeah, things get busy in A&E. I've spent the
 last hour administering over 40 stitches to a
 seven-year-old who was beaten by his mother
 with a metal ladle and then I had to deal with
 the police regarding the matter. Sorry for the
 inconvenience."

 (After watching him try to not act embarrassed,
 he tells me what has happened. The boy had
 twanged my daughter's bra and she had
 punched him in the face twice. I got the
 impression they were more angry with my
 daughter than the boy.)
 Me: "Oh. And you want to know if l'm going to
 press charges against him for sexually assaulting
 my daughter and against the school for allowing
 him to do it?"
 (They all get jittery when I mention sexual
 assault and start speaking at once.)
 Teacher: "I don't think it was that serious."
 Head Of Year: "Let's not over-react."
 Head: "I think you're missing the point."
 (The boy's mother then starts crying. I turn to
 my daughter to find out what happened.)
 Daughter: "He kept pinging my bra. I asked him
 to stop but he didn't, so I told Mr. [Teacher]. He
 told me to 'ignore it.' [Boy] did it again and
 undid my bra so I hit him. Then he stopped."
 (I turn to the teacher.)
 Me: "You let him do this? Why didn't you stop
 him? Come over here and let me touch the front
 of your trousers."
 Teacher: "What?! No!"
 Me: "Does that seem inappropriate to you? Why
 don't you go and pull on Mrs. [Head Of Year]'s
 bra right now. See how fun it is for her. Or on
 that boy's mum's bra. Or mine. You think just
 because they're kids it's fun?"
 Head: "Mrs. [My Name]. With all due respect,
 [Daughter] still beat another child."

 Me: "No. She defended herself against a sexual
 attack from another pupil. Look at them; he's
 nearly 6 feet and 11 or 12 stone. She's 5 feet
 and 6 stone. He's a foot taller than her and twice
 as heavy. How many times should she have let
 him touch her? If the person who was supposed
 to help and protect her in a classroom couldn't
 be bothered what should she have done? He
 pulled her bra so hard it came undone."
 (The boy's mum is still crying and his dad looks
 both angry and embarrassed. The teacher won't
 make eye contact with me. I look at the
 headmaster.)
 Me: "I'm taking her home. I think the boy has
 learnt his lesson. And I hope nothing like this
 ever happens again, not only to [Daughter], but
 to any other girl at this school. You wouldn't let
 him do it to a member of staff so what makes
 you think he can do it to a girl of 15 is beyond
 me. I will be reporting this to the governors. And
 if you-" *turning to the boy* "-EVER touch my
 daughter again I WILL have you arrested for
 sexual assault. Do you understand me?"
 (I was so angry I gathered my daughter's things
 and left. I reported it to the Board of Governors,
 several of whom I know from Church (it's a
 Catholic school), and was assured it would be
 strongly dealt with. I also reported it to OFSTED
 (Government-run school monitoring) and they
 were equally as horrified and assured me they
 would contact the school. My daughter was put
 into a different class for that subject, away from
 the teacher and the boy.)
somefancyname:

x

somefancyname: x

Tumblr, Blog, and Heart: lux-interior: legalmexican: sunpeach: his nose… is shaped like a heart….. I want it @quote-the-silent
Tumblr, Blog, and Heart: lux-interior:

legalmexican:

sunpeach:

his nose… is shaped like a heart…..

I want it

@quote-the-silent

lux-interior: legalmexican: sunpeach: his nose… is shaped like a heart….. I want it @quote-the-silent