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Ass, Bones, and Children: HICKS, Sybil Marie (nee Lyons) It hurts me to admit it... but , Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m. I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately referred to as a "Horse's Ass". I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with Carol) my oldest son and also my favourite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the Oreo cookie favourite, Brenda AKA "Hazel" who would run to clean the bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara (with Gordon) the ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn't eat homemade turkey soup because he didn't want to be alert looking for bones while he ate. I will miss seeing my sweetest grandchildren; Caitlin, Megan, Joel, Issac Mason, Rachel, Annie, Emma, Harrison, Clark, Choe, Orion, Griffin ...grow up to be the incredible people they are meant to be I graduated from Waterdown High School with honors while wearing my shiny bright saddle shoes. I later graduated from Hamilton General Hospital School Nursing class of 1957B -Best Class EVER! In 1972 Ron and I loaded the car with the 5- B's and headed north to run a school bus company for over 20 years in Baysville, Ontario. I was an active horticulturalist, a member of the Eastern Star and a member of the Lion's Club in Baysville. I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted... . having been cremated. Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse's ass For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this. it wasn't my husband, it wasn't my oldest, nor was it my youngest... Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and back Love, Sybil This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life
Ass, Bones, and Children: HICKS, Sybil Marie (nee Lyons)
 It hurts me to admit it... but , Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed
 away. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side
 February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m.
 I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately
 referred to as a "Horse's Ass".
 I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with
 Carol) my oldest son and also my favourite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the
 Oreo cookie favourite, Brenda AKA "Hazel" who would run to clean the
 bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara (with Gordon) the
 ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn't eat homemade turkey
 soup because he didn't want to be alert looking for bones while he ate.
 I will miss seeing my sweetest grandchildren; Caitlin, Megan, Joel, Issac
 Mason, Rachel, Annie, Emma, Harrison, Clark, Choe, Orion, Griffin ...grow up
 to be the incredible people they are meant to be
 I graduated from Waterdown High School with honors while wearing my
 shiny bright saddle shoes. I later graduated from Hamilton General Hospital
 School Nursing class of 1957B -Best Class EVER!
 In 1972 Ron and I loaded the car with the 5- B's and headed north to run a
 school bus company for over 20 years in Baysville, Ontario. I was an active
 horticulturalist, a member of the Eastern Star and a member of the Lion's
 Club in Baysville.
 I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted... . having been
 cremated.
 Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband
 and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse's
 ass
 For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this. it
 wasn't my husband, it wasn't my oldest, nor was it my youngest...
 Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and
 back
 Love, Sybil
This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life

This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life

Ass, Bones, and Children: HICKS, Sybil Marie (nee Lyons) It hurts me to admit it... but , Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m. I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately referred to as a "Horse's Ass". I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with Carol) my oldest son and also my favourite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the Oreo cookie favourite, Brenda AKA "Hazel" who would run to clean the bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara (with Gordon) the ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn't eat homemade turkey soup because he didn't want to be alert looking for bones while he ate. I will miss seeing my sweetest grandchildren; Caitlin, Megan, Joel, Issac Mason, Rachel, Annie, Emma, Harrison, Clark, Choe, Orion, Griffin ...grow up to be the incredible people they are meant to be I graduated from Waterdown High School with honors while wearing my shiny bright saddle shoes. I later graduated from Hamilton General Hospital School Nursing class of 1957B -Best Class EVER! In 1972 Ron and I loaded the car with the 5- B's and headed north to run a school bus company for over 20 years in Baysville, Ontario. I was an active horticulturalist, a member of the Eastern Star and a member of the Lion's Club in Baysville. I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted... . having been cremated. Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse's ass For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this. it wasn't my husband, it wasn't my oldest, nor was it my youngest... Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and back Love, Sybil This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life
Ass, Bones, and Children: HICKS, Sybil Marie (nee Lyons)
 It hurts me to admit it... but , Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed
 away. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side
 February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m.
 I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately
 referred to as a "Horse's Ass".
 I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with
 Carol) my oldest son and also my favourite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the
 Oreo cookie favourite, Brenda AKA "Hazel" who would run to clean the
 bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara (with Gordon) the
 ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn't eat homemade turkey
 soup because he didn't want to be alert looking for bones while he ate.
 I will miss seeing my sweetest grandchildren; Caitlin, Megan, Joel, Issac
 Mason, Rachel, Annie, Emma, Harrison, Clark, Choe, Orion, Griffin ...grow up
 to be the incredible people they are meant to be
 I graduated from Waterdown High School with honors while wearing my
 shiny bright saddle shoes. I later graduated from Hamilton General Hospital
 School Nursing class of 1957B -Best Class EVER!
 In 1972 Ron and I loaded the car with the 5- B's and headed north to run a
 school bus company for over 20 years in Baysville, Ontario. I was an active
 horticulturalist, a member of the Eastern Star and a member of the Lion's
 Club in Baysville.
 I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted... . having been
 cremated.
 Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband
 and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse's
 ass
 For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this. it
 wasn't my husband, it wasn't my oldest, nor was it my youngest...
 Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and
 back
 Love, Sybil
This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life

This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life

Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces. via reddit.com toast-potent how are they even alive kickin-jeans eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs humandisastersquad WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace) reyroace oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em reyroace by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk gallusrostromegalus My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels, Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date. teratomarty What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths. the more you know
Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat
 TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex,
 unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces.
 via reddit.com
 toast-potent
 how are they even alive
 kickin-jeans
 eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during
 forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place
 koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat
 The Fucking Bombs
 humandisastersquad
 WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times
 ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how
 good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0
 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and
 even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic
 range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to
 ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat
 anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd
 rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60
 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want
 YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so
 incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is
 bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet
 consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace)
 reyroace
 oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is
 starvation, because
 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u
 need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in
 nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of
 tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth
 grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc
 everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin
 shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear
 down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit
 all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day
 then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until
 they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die
 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc
 their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh
 just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal
 w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc
 i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung
 from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their
 organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better
 piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense
 mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch
 them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit
 around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison
 while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending
 theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of
 extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at
 all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let
 em
 reyroace
 by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres
 a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound
 like
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk
 gallusrostromegalus
 My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala
 Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently
 good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo
 Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at
 which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves
 around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to
 BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and
 projectile-evacuating thier bowels,
 Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked
 into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with
 a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle
 the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects
 of a date.
 teratomarty
 What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths.
the more you know

the more you know

Bad, Beard, and Blessed: nOrma1-people-sxare-me A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he'd be more comfortable and it made me realise the world isn't all that bad fitzefitcher #this is team skull its-just-a-phage The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying You can pet me, but don't pick me up!" One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him "did you see the sign? He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don't pet them! Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said "l didn't read it right did 1? And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said "its ok, i know you've got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits" And I still haven't gotten over that interaction. flowernstt I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He's a little thing tbh we call him short and long So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like "hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your's is so small I think it's a good place to start" Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks "can I pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two's lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay just relax lI'd never let anything hurt you. He's a good boy." I'll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3, glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like 'ah yes the two least intimidating living things l've seen in Boston all day he'll feel relaxed around them and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy anotherdayforchaosfay My husband had this Dungeons and Dragons group ages ago, and one of the guys was TERRIFIED of cats. The moment he sees one he freezes up and can barely breathe. Said guy is almost seven feet tall and solid wall of muscle Whenever he came over l'd put the cats in the bedroom and chill out with a book because my cats don't like being shut away without one of us One of my cats was pawing at the door and meowing loudly, an indication she REALLY needs to use the litter box. I let her out and decide, hey, I'm hungry and decide to the kitchen. I forgot to shut the bedroom door. Next thing I hear is the group going completely silent. My husband very calmly asks me to come over and help him gather our two cats up. I go over to where the group is and my black cat, Cacoa, is rubbing up against the guy's leg purring, and doing her "let me on your lap meow. The other cat, Jasper, is sitting at the window, chilling out. I go over and pick up Cacoa and tell the big dude she's harmless, loves laps, and would be thrilled if he pet her. Very slowly he touches my cat's face, and she leans right into his hand. He then pets her back and sighs because she's really soft and purring like mad. After a few minutes he asks how to pick her up and if it's okay if she sits on his lap He spent the next six hours spoiling my cat. The next week he showed up with cat treats and toys because he fell in love with the cats. He told me he was doing some research on house cats, and even talked to a vet about them. A couple months later he adopted two cats and was as thrilled and excited as a new parent. ruffboijuliaburnsides Oh no a new one!!! jack-the-lion Blessed post. anaalihelmisimpukka I used to work at this stable for icelandic horses and every now and then this man would turn up by the field to just watch the horses. One time I walked by him as I was going to get the horses inside, and he went "I always wanted to learn how to ride but I'm afraid of horses because they're so huge. If I could ride ponies like this, maybe I'd dare but now I'm too big and heavy for them." You should have seen his face when I told them that actually they're not ponies, just small horses and they could totally carry him. His face just lit up. Next thing I'm helping him to get on back. Today he knows how to ride Source:nOrma1-people-sxare-me 935,955 notes A classic collection of feel good stories (with new additions)
Bad, Beard, and Blessed: nOrma1-people-sxare-me
 A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their
 conversation was "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he'd
 be more comfortable and it made me realise the world isn't all that bad
 fitzefitcher
 #this is team skull
 its-just-a-phage
 The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every
 side of the pen were huge signs saying You can pet me, but don't pick me up!"
 One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into
 the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm
 and asked him "did you see the sign?
 He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don't pet them!
 Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said "l didn't read it right did 1?
 And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said "its ok, i know you've
 got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits"
 And I still haven't gotten over that interaction.
 flowernstt
 I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He's a little
 thing tbh we call him short and long
 So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like "hey can my buddy
 and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your's is so small I think
 it's a good place to start"
 Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this guy brings his equally big friend
 over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big
 man number one asks "can I pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up and
 puts him on man number two's lap and man number two is abt to freak out and
 his friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay just relax lI'd never let anything
 hurt you. He's a good boy." I'll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at
 me (5'3, glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy
 looking little thing) and was like 'ah yes the two least intimidating living things
 l've seen in Boston all day he'll feel relaxed around them and went out of his
 way to help his friend. It makes me so happy
 anotherdayforchaosfay
 My husband had this Dungeons and Dragons group ages ago, and one of the
 guys was TERRIFIED of cats. The moment he sees one he freezes up and can
 barely breathe. Said guy is almost seven feet tall and solid wall of muscle
 Whenever he came over l'd put the cats in the bedroom and chill out with a book
 because my cats don't like being shut away without one of us
 One of my cats was pawing at the door and meowing loudly, an indication she
 REALLY needs to use the litter box. I let her out and decide, hey, I'm hungry
 and decide to the kitchen. I forgot to shut the bedroom door.
 Next thing I hear is the group going completely silent. My husband very calmly
 asks me to come over and help him gather our two cats up. I go over to where
 the group is and my black cat, Cacoa, is rubbing up against the guy's leg
 purring, and doing her "let me on your lap meow. The other cat, Jasper, is
 sitting at the window, chilling out. I go over and pick up Cacoa and tell the big
 dude she's harmless, loves laps, and would be thrilled if he pet her. Very slowly
 he touches my cat's face, and she leans right into his hand. He then pets her
 back and sighs because she's really soft and purring like mad. After a few
 minutes he asks how to pick her up and if it's okay if she sits on his lap
 He spent the next six hours spoiling my cat. The next week he showed up with
 cat treats and toys because he fell in love with the cats. He told me he was
 doing some research on house cats, and even talked to a vet about them. A
 couple months later he adopted two cats and was as thrilled and excited as a
 new parent.
 ruffboijuliaburnsides
 Oh no a new one!!!
 jack-the-lion
 Blessed post.
 anaalihelmisimpukka
 I used to work at this stable for icelandic horses and every now and then this
 man would turn up by the field to just watch the horses. One time I walked by
 him as I was going to get the horses inside, and he went "I always wanted to
 learn how to ride but I'm afraid of horses because they're so huge. If I could ride
 ponies like this, maybe I'd dare but now I'm too big and heavy for them." You
 should have seen his face when I told them that actually they're not ponies, just
 small horses and they could totally carry him. His face just lit up. Next thing I'm
 helping him to get on back. Today he knows how to ride
 Source:nOrma1-people-sxare-me
 935,955 notes
A classic collection of feel good stories (with new additions)

A classic collection of feel good stories (with new additions)