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Bad, Be Like, and Dad: In Case of "B" Break Glass My daughter is currently pulling a D- in math. This is her phone. galexion: handmetheshovel: thatguyinthecornerino: randomavengersquotes: lolnerdsposts: robanilla: justsomeonereloadable: thesecretkeith: blanketfortprincette: tastefullyoffensive: (photo by fistfullofcookies) Why do parents always assume their kid is lazy when they get bad grades? Like maybe help your kids by talking to them, not punishing them. This is how I failed math and didn’t even know I had number dyslexia for years. When my sister was in high school she struggled a LOT with math. Like I know a lot of people find it really difficult (myself included), but I mean she was really really bad at it. She has always been a very smart, creative and sensitive person, but math made no sense to her, to the point where passing seemed impossible. I will always remember that twice a week, around the kitchen table, my sister would sit down with my dad for hours, and they would try to work out her math homework. I should mention that my dad is an artist, and art teacher. Truth be told I think he struggled with math just as much if not more then she did. But twice a week you could hear them downstairs, going back and forth, trying to figure it out together. Some nights would be smooth and easy, some nights I could hear them arguing from one floor up about factors or equations, not in anger but in mutual frustration. I remember the day that she passed. My sister couldn’t wait until my dad’s school day ended, so she called him at work. She gleefully announced to him “I got a D-!”. We could hear him through the phone as he exclaimed “She got a D!” excitedly to his class. Still through the phone we heard his students clapping, laughing and whooping in congratulations. Seldom has a grade in our household been so celebrated. Just thought a shitty picture like this should be accompanied by a story about a person’s parents who actually gave a shit about helping their kid instead of mocking and punishing them. Read the story Read the story Read the story reblogging for the story. READ IT. THE STORY If it weren’t for my dad I would not be able to read and write. I was born1971 and people really didn’t know or care that some people struggle not because they are lazy but they just fuckin’ can’t do what comes easy to most. My dad did what that father did. Dad was working 12/14/16 hour days. And still… he sat down and read up on shit, talked to my teacher - and then he saved me. Reading has made me. I am a reader. The one thing people know about me is: she reads. Be like dad. Don’t be a tit. R E A DT h eS T O R Y
Bad, Be Like, and Dad: In Case of "B"
 Break Glass
 My daughter is currently pulling a D- in math. This is her phone.
galexion:

handmetheshovel:
thatguyinthecornerino:

randomavengersquotes:

lolnerdsposts:

robanilla:


justsomeonereloadable:

thesecretkeith:

blanketfortprincette:

tastefullyoffensive:

(photo by fistfullofcookies)

Why do parents always assume their kid is lazy when they get bad grades? Like maybe help your kids by talking to them, not punishing them. This is how I failed math and didn’t even know I had number dyslexia for years.

When my sister was in high school she struggled a LOT with math. Like I know a lot of people find it really difficult (myself included), but I mean she was really really bad at it. She has always been a very smart, creative and sensitive person, but math made no sense to her, to the point where passing seemed impossible.
I will always remember that twice a week, around the kitchen table, my sister would sit down with my dad for hours, and they would try to work out her math homework. I should mention that my dad is an artist, and art teacher. Truth be told I think he struggled with math just as much if not more then she did. But twice a week you could hear them downstairs, going back and forth, trying to figure it out together. Some nights would be smooth and easy, some nights I could hear them arguing from one floor up about factors or equations, not in anger but in mutual frustration.
I remember the day that she passed. My sister couldn’t wait until my dad’s school day ended, so she called him at work. She gleefully announced to him “I got a D-!”. We could hear him through the phone as he exclaimed “She got a D!” excitedly to his class. Still through the phone we heard his students clapping, laughing and whooping in congratulations. Seldom has a grade in our household been so celebrated.
Just thought a shitty picture like this should be accompanied by a story about a person’s parents who actually gave a shit about helping their kid instead of mocking and punishing them.


Read the story


Read the story


Read the story 


reblogging for the story. READ IT.


THE STORY


If it weren’t for my dad I would not be able to read and write. I was born1971 and people really didn’t know or care that some people struggle not because they are lazy but they just fuckin’ can’t do what comes easy to most.
My dad did what that father did. 
Dad was working 12/14/16 hour days.
And still… he sat down and read up on shit, talked to my teacher - and then he saved me. Reading has made me. I am a reader. The one thing people know about me is: she reads.  
Be like dad.
Don’t be a tit.


R E A DT h eS T O R Y

galexion: handmetheshovel: thatguyinthecornerino: randomavengersquotes: lolnerdsposts: robanilla: justsomeonereloadable: thesecretkei...

Alive, Animals, and Beautiful: SPEED DATING TODAY! vixiano: thedirtythirty: wonderingifyoukneww: secretly-obsessed-with-fandoms: arylenchanted: ungratefullittleshit: msannedree: rowan-fcb: causewecan: creamsifemme-kitty: totallynotthecops: scars-of-stars: dragonsrequiem: deigns: its-jakeperalta: deigns: petl0vers: celebrity–outfits: its-jakeperalta: 10 REASONS TO ADOPT A PET You save a life. The cost of adoption is less than buying a pet. Most shelter animals have had medical treatment and are spayed/neutered, microchipped, and up to date with vaccines. There are more unique pets to choose from in shelters. Age, breeds, mixed breeds, and personality choices are greater. Many are already trained. Your bed is pre-warmed on cold winter nights. Animals are just ready to love you, no matter what. Adopting from a shelter opens a cage for another pet who needs a new forever home. An adult pet takes the guess work out of determining size, thickness of coat, and energy level. Mixed breeds are unique compared to purebreeds and may have less genetically inherited health problems. Take this quiz to find out which dog is right for you! Please adopt some lovely doggos As someone who just adopted a third doggo from the shelter, please do it if you can find a dog right for you. Those shelters do everything they can to keep them alive, but it’s a family that keeps them happy. Okay, but is there a quiz for which shelter kitty I should get? @deigns​  good u asked, yes!!! sorry I forgot to add that one, anyway here is it What Breed of Cat should you get? Ty jake peralta Plus? Those animals in the pound? They KNOW that they are on death row. My first dog as a married woman was an eleventh hour adoption. A 13-y-o basset hound mix (pound said they thought he was 11 because they were trying to save him by making him sound a teeny bit younger) and he was “Til death do we part” loyal. We lost him 4 years later to cancer, and we (the family had grown from 2 to 3 humans) were devastated. My sister? Fosters cats, and ended up with a charmer who’d been hit by a car. Sephiroth is a well loved asshole, and his brother, Cloud (a stray who found a sucker bet), is almost canine levels of friendly. Be a superhero. Save a life. Rescue. As someone who has worked in a shelter for two years and watched many of my babies go to their incredible forever homes, you wouldn’t BELIEVE how big of a difference you can see in the animals’ behavior from being in the kennels to even just a few minutes after leaving. When their new owners are filling out the paperwork, there’s already a new spark in their eyes. They KNOW they’re going home; they know they’re getting to be loved the way all animals deserve to be. There are so many beautiful animals in shelters that get overlooked. Next time you’re searching for a companion, check your local shelters and rescues. Not only are you getting a companion, but you’re saving a life. I got my Norwegian Forest Cat from a shelter. He’s huge, and never shuts up, and is moody and a prolific hunter (or was. He’s not allowed out), and the biggest cuddliest mamas boy on the planet. i just adopted my first cat from the humane society ! her name is Persephone and she’s 14 almost 15 years old. i love my angel so much. I got all three of my cats from shelters and they are honestly so appreciative! They are amazing little creatures and have become the light of my life…. please adopt!! You won’t regret it and neither will your little ball of fur. This cutie used to be a stray in Greece. A lot of people try to poisen them, because there are so many strays there (which is the peoples fault. They buy puppies and leave them on the streets when they are older). I‘m happy, I had the chance to safe my little lady. I still wish to safe more. They are always so happy when you only pet them or just give them a bit of attention. My babies Penelope and Eloise were irresponsibly let outside without being spayed. Both got pregnant and their owner dumped them at the shelter two weeks before they were due with kittens. Due to being full to capacity, they were immediately at the top of the kill list. Thankfully a foster rescued them, got them healthy, helped them birth nine healthy kittens between the two of them, rescued four more orphan kittens that these girls adopted and nursed, got them ALL fixed, got ALL THIRTEEN kittens good homes, and I adopted these silly, destructive, adorable, loud, cuddle bugs. They’re a bonded pair, and they’ve brought light and love and laughter into my life. Please adopt!!!! Please fix your pets! Save a love, be compassionate, and find your best friend! Both adopted in a shelter. Best decision I have ever made. My husband and I adopted this little ball of love from a shelter and he’s literally the most amazing dog in the world. ❤️ got all four of my loves from our local shelter. absolute sweethearts ❤️ Got this pretty fur ball from a local shelter 🥰 #adoptdontshop The future wife and I adopted this 3-legged snuggle bug from our local humane society this summer and it’s one of, if not THE, best decision we have made ❤️🥰 My adopted baby! Please don’t disregard shelters just because you want a certain breed! Either sign up to volunteer at a shelter (you’ll get the inside scoop on the dogs/cats) or visit the shelter every day or every other day. There are always so many different breeds, some just get scooped up quicker than others! My precious boy!!! We actually adopted him throigh Facebook from Romania - if your shelter doesn’t have the breed you want, there are so many other places to look! Follow rescue centre pages on social media and look on websites!
Alive, Animals, and Beautiful: SPEED
 DATING
 TODAY!
vixiano:
thedirtythirty:

wonderingifyoukneww:

secretly-obsessed-with-fandoms:

arylenchanted:

ungratefullittleshit:


msannedree:

rowan-fcb:

causewecan:

creamsifemme-kitty:


totallynotthecops:

scars-of-stars:

dragonsrequiem:


deigns:

its-jakeperalta:

deigns:

petl0vers:

celebrity–outfits:

its-jakeperalta:

10 REASONS TO ADOPT A PET
You save a life.
The cost of adoption is less than buying a pet.
Most shelter animals have had medical treatment and are spayed/neutered, microchipped, and up to date with vaccines.
There are more unique pets to choose from in shelters. Age, breeds, mixed breeds, and personality choices are greater.
Many are already trained.
Your bed is pre-warmed on cold winter nights.
Animals are just ready to love you, no matter what.
Adopting from a shelter opens a cage for another pet who needs a new forever home.
An adult pet takes the guess work out of determining size, thickness of coat, and energy level.
Mixed breeds are unique compared to purebreeds and may have less genetically inherited health problems.
Take this quiz to find out which dog is right for you!

Please adopt some lovely doggos



As someone who just adopted a third doggo from the shelter, please do it if you can find a dog right for you. Those shelters do everything they can to keep them alive, but it’s a family that keeps them happy.





Okay, but is there a quiz for which shelter kitty I should get?



@deigns​ 

good u asked, yes!!! sorry I forgot to add that one, anyway here is it


What Breed of Cat should you get? 



Ty jake peralta


Plus? Those animals in the pound? They KNOW that they are on death row. My first dog as a married woman was an eleventh hour adoption. A 13-y-o basset hound mix (pound said they thought he was 11 because they were trying to save him by making him sound a teeny bit younger) and he was “Til death do we part” loyal. We lost him 4 years later to cancer, and we (the family had grown from 2 to 3 humans) were devastated.
My sister? Fosters cats, and ended up with a charmer who’d been hit by a car. Sephiroth is a well loved asshole, and his brother, Cloud (a stray who found a sucker bet), is almost canine levels of friendly.
Be a superhero. Save a life. Rescue.


As someone who has worked in a shelter for two years and watched many of my babies go to their incredible forever homes, you wouldn’t BELIEVE how big of a difference you can see in the animals’ behavior from being in the kennels to even just a few minutes after leaving. When their new owners are filling out the paperwork, there’s already a new spark in their eyes. They KNOW they’re going home; they know they’re getting to be loved the way all animals deserve to be. There are so many beautiful animals in shelters that get overlooked. Next time you’re searching for a companion, check your local shelters and rescues. Not only are you getting a companion, but you’re saving a life. 


I got my Norwegian Forest Cat from a shelter. He’s huge, and never shuts up, and is moody and a prolific hunter (or was. He’s not allowed out), and the biggest cuddliest mamas boy on the planet. 


i just adopted my first cat from the humane society ! her name is Persephone and she’s 14 almost 15 years old. i love my angel so much. 




I got all three of my cats from shelters and they are honestly so appreciative! They are amazing little creatures and have become the light of my life…. please adopt!! You won’t regret it and neither will your little ball of fur. 


This cutie used to be a stray in Greece. A lot of people try to poisen them, because there are so many strays there (which is the peoples fault. They buy puppies and leave them on the streets when they are older).
I‘m happy, I had the chance to safe my little lady. I still wish to safe more. They are always so happy when you only pet them or just give them a bit of attention.




My babies Penelope and Eloise were irresponsibly let outside without being spayed. Both got pregnant and their owner dumped them at the shelter two weeks before they were due with kittens. Due to being full to capacity, they were immediately at the top of the kill list. Thankfully a foster rescued them, got them healthy, helped them birth nine healthy kittens between the two of them, rescued four more orphan kittens that these girls adopted and nursed, got them ALL fixed, got ALL THIRTEEN kittens good homes, and I adopted these silly, destructive, adorable, loud, cuddle bugs. They’re a bonded pair, and they’ve brought light and love and laughter into my life. Please adopt!!!! Please fix your pets! Save a love, be compassionate, and find your best friend! 




Both adopted in a shelter. Best decision I have ever made.




My husband and I adopted this little ball of love from a shelter and he’s literally the most amazing dog in the world. ❤️ 




got all four of my loves from our local shelter. absolute sweethearts ❤️


Got this pretty fur ball from a local shelter 🥰  #adoptdontshop 




The future wife and I adopted this 3-legged snuggle bug from our local humane society this summer and it’s one of, if not THE, best decision we have made ❤️🥰


My adopted baby! Please don’t disregard shelters just because you want a certain breed! Either sign up to volunteer at a shelter (you’ll get the inside scoop on the dogs/cats) or visit the shelter every day or every other day. There are always so many different breeds, some just get scooped up quicker than others!


My precious boy!!! We actually adopted him throigh Facebook from Romania - if your shelter doesn’t have the breed you want, there are so many other places to look! Follow rescue centre pages on social media and look on websites!

vixiano: thedirtythirty: wonderingifyoukneww: secretly-obsessed-with-fandoms: arylenchanted: ungratefullittleshit: msannedree: rowan-...

Cars, Fire, and God: Jared 2 hrs please tell me someone got a video of the fire truck moving swiftly and safely through thousands of protestors tonight you know, for all of the "concerned citizens" at home You, Rick d 20 others 2 Comments 1 Share Like Share Comment THROWBACK NIGHT OLD SCHOOLAPROV Speak Out Against Adam Iverson Muslim Ban! 17 mins For the people who complain about emergency vehicles being blocked: GVE MEY AdamlversonPhotography captain-snark: ohdionne: So Minnesotans showed the fuck up tonight (like we do) - thousands in the street protesting tr*mp’s latest executive disorders. And guess what happened? The old proverb “What if an emergency vehicle needs to get where it’s going” came to life, and the sea went silent and parted to allow it through (swiftly…literally the truck was going about as fast as, if not faster than, it would have been if there had been cars it needed to go around). Please share this. This was a rare occurrence where an emergency vehicle needed to go through the route of a protest, when usually they have predetermined alternative routes, and it went completely fine. Also for the love of god, have more respect for firefighters/EMTs…they know how to do their jobs. They’re ready for anything, including working around protests. So folks can stop using that tired old argument now (not that it was ever backed up by sources anyway). It’s almost as though these protesters who are protesting for human rights are decent human people.
Cars, Fire, and God: Jared
 2 hrs
 please tell me someone got a video of the fire truck
 moving swiftly and safely through thousands of
 protestors tonight
 you know, for all of the "concerned citizens" at home
 You, Rick
 d 20 others
 2 Comments 1 Share
 Like
 Share
 Comment

 THROWBACK NIGHT
 OLD SCHOOLAPROV
 Speak Out Against
 Adam Iverson
 Muslim Ban!
 17 mins
 For the people who complain about emergency
 vehicles being blocked:
 GVE MEY
 AdamlversonPhotography
captain-snark:

ohdionne:

So Minnesotans showed the fuck up tonight (like we do) - thousands in the street protesting tr*mp’s latest executive disorders. And guess what happened? The old proverb “What if an emergency vehicle needs to get where it’s going” came to life, and the sea went silent and parted to allow it through (swiftly…literally the truck was going about as fast as, if not faster than, it would have been if there had been cars it needed to go around).

Please share this. This was a rare occurrence where an emergency vehicle needed to go through the route of a protest, when usually they have predetermined alternative routes, and it went completely fine. Also for the love of god, have more respect for firefighters/EMTs…they know how to do their jobs. They’re ready for anything, including working around protests. 

So folks can stop using that tired old argument now (not that it was ever backed up by sources anyway).

It’s almost as though these protesters who are protesting for human rights are decent human people.

captain-snark: ohdionne: So Minnesotans showed the fuck up tonight (like we do) - thousands in the street protesting tr*mp’s latest execut...

Beijing, Definitely, and Guns: BANG BANG WE CAN END GUN VIOLENCE. xphilosoraptorx: unlimited-shitpost-works: siryouarebeingmocked: 8lastrat8: american–support: kasaron: allriot-political-tshirts: American citizens own 40% of all guns in the world. Out of more than one billion firearms in the world, American citizens hold 393 million, for a population of roughly 326 million. That’s a lot of guns! The last time the US federal government managed to pass laws that limit the spread and use of guns was 25 years ago. It was 1994. The Federal Assault Weapons Ban was temporary. It expired in 2004, resulting in a massive increase in mass shootings across the country. Republicans are running out of excuses, blaming the latest incidents in Drayton and El Paso on video games. We can end gun violence. Let’s start with gun control. What sort of gun control legislation would you like to see be put into place? OP, that claim of shootings increased is false. The violence and shootings didn’t change in that decade from the previous decade, and in fact, violence has been on the decline. WHAT HAS CHANGED is how much media is shoved down your throat. Thats it. The nonstop spam from legacy media of a single event for a month, if not months on end is what changed. It used to be a 5, maybe 10 minute story has now turned into a 4 week “constant coverage” of spewing the same info daily, with nothing added. After the early 90s, we saw a sharp decline and its been declining ever since. Meanwhile, ownership is at an alltime high, increasing, as if a plethora of armed citizens reduces the audacity of a potential killer to attempt knowing they’ll get capped. What has also changed is the increase in the absolutely terrible idea of “gun free zones” seeing as approximately 85-95% of these shootings are occuring in these zones. Seems like that’s your problem. Hmm, this graph seems to showcase that despite the US owning vastly more guns… homicide rate is lower than a hefty chunk of even the non gun owners… I’d just like to know how they propose to take our guns. If I got one logical explanation from one of these half wits that didn’t include magic or ridiculous gestapo tactics we could have a conversation but, every F’ing time it devolves into name calling, insults, and slander. They simply can’t explain how to take the guns away. Not a single one of them has ever responded to me without crass vulgarities and irrational screeching. myamberreason said:  Anyway, guys, why you need THAT many guns? I understand owned a few for protection or legal hunting, but why do you have around 40% of firearms in the world?? I’m sorry, are you implying the Yanks should meet international proportional quotas on guns? We do own a few for self-defense and hunting. It’s just that the rest of the world doesn’t own very many guns. The reason we all have so many guns is very simple: logistics. The point of the second amendment is for us, the citizens of the USA, to be “shit your pants, wake up in a cold sweat” terrifying to the people running this country, so much so that they involuntarily have second, third, even fourth thoughts about ever violating our rights. The 2nd amendment is the most important and most powerful of all the amendments. Every single right and amendment could taken away, and we could regain them all with that one. And I’m not the only one who recognizes the importance of the 2nd.And it definitely terrifies Beijing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t have to justify an amount of guns to you any more than I have to justify how many video games or coffee cups I have.
Beijing, Definitely, and Guns: BANG
 BANG
 WE CAN END GUN VIOLENCE.
xphilosoraptorx:

unlimited-shitpost-works:
siryouarebeingmocked:


8lastrat8:

american–support:

kasaron:


allriot-political-tshirts:


American citizens own 40% of all guns in the world. 

Out of more than one billion firearms in the world, American citizens hold 393 million, for a population of roughly 326 million. That’s a lot of guns!

The last time the US federal government managed to pass laws that limit the spread and use of guns was 25 years ago. It was 1994. The Federal Assault Weapons Ban was temporary. It expired in 2004, resulting in a massive increase in mass shootings across the country. Republicans are running out of excuses, blaming the latest incidents in Drayton and El Paso on video games.

We can end gun violence. Let’s start with gun control.


What sort of gun control legislation would you like to see be put into place?


OP, that claim of shootings increased is false. The violence and shootings didn’t change in that decade from the previous decade, and in fact, violence has been on the decline. 
WHAT HAS CHANGED is how much media is shoved down your throat. Thats it. The nonstop spam from legacy media of a single event for a month, if not months on end is what changed. It used to be a 5, maybe 10 minute story has now turned into a 4 week “constant coverage” of spewing the same info daily, with nothing added. 
After the early 90s, we saw a sharp decline and its been declining ever since. 
Meanwhile, ownership is at an alltime high, increasing, as if a plethora of armed citizens reduces the audacity of a potential killer to attempt knowing they’ll get capped.
What has also changed is the increase in the absolutely terrible idea of “gun free zones” seeing as approximately 85-95% of these shootings are occuring in these zones. Seems like that’s your problem. 
Hmm, this graph seems to showcase that despite the US owning vastly more guns… homicide rate is lower than a hefty chunk of even the non gun owners…


I’d just like to know how they propose to take our guns. If I got one logical explanation from one of these half wits that didn’t include magic or ridiculous gestapo tactics we could have a conversation but, every F’ing time it devolves into name calling, insults, and slander. They simply can’t explain how to take the guns away. Not a single one of them has ever responded to me without crass vulgarities and irrational screeching. 



myamberreason said: 
Anyway, guys, why you need THAT many guns? I understand owned a few for protection or legal hunting, but why do you have around 40% of firearms in the world??


I’m sorry, are you implying the Yanks should meet international proportional quotas on guns?


We do own a few for self-defense and hunting.  It’s just that the rest of the world doesn’t own very many guns.


The reason we all have so many guns is very simple: logistics. The point of the second amendment is for us, the citizens of the USA, to be “shit your pants, wake up in a cold sweat” terrifying to the people running this country, so much so that they involuntarily have second, third, even fourth thoughts about ever violating our rights. The 2nd amendment is the most important and most powerful of all the amendments. Every single right and amendment could taken away, and we could regain them all with that one. And I’m not the only one who recognizes the importance of the 2nd.And it definitely terrifies Beijing.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t have to justify an amount of guns to you any more than I have to justify how many video games or coffee cups I have.

xphilosoraptorx: unlimited-shitpost-works: siryouarebeingmocked: 8lastrat8: american–support: kasaron: allriot-political-tshirts: A...

Be Like, Club, and Dad: factfiction emiliusthegreat Follow partybarackisinthehousetonight releases pack of dads into home depot* go....be free hotcommunist invasive species encroach on lesbian territory dreaming-shark This is a common misconception because they're such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe's. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe's to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores. ailithnight A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfort- able cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really "encroaching on another's territory". You wouldn't say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It's just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation. Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a or Home Depot, that's where chaos will reign. Being adap far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club. chequerootlurks As a former timber-harveste... I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality. Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together. This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the Log Boss. A "pack" of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a Log Boss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory. One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs. Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch Getting a "pack" of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred. Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware system. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened. katy-l-wood As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate. The delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores
Be Like, Club, and Dad: factfiction
 emiliusthegreat Follow
 partybarackisinthehousetonight
 releases pack of dads into home depot* go....be free
 hotcommunist
 invasive species encroach on lesbian territory
 dreaming-shark
 This is a common misconception because they're such similar
 environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to
 Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe's. At this
 point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at
 home in both Home Depot and Lowe's to the point that trying to
 separate them back into their original ranges would probably do
 more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain
 hardware stores.
 ailithnight
 A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfort-
 able cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really "encroaching on
 another's territory". You wouldn't say that about foxes in a forest
 that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It's just two different
 species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same
 environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals,
 Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.
 Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a
 or Home Depot, that's where chaos will reign. Being adap
 far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks
 would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also
 consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It
 would be like releasing bears at a country club.
 chequerootlurks
 As a former timber-harveste... I feel this is potentially accurate in
 theory. But highly improbable in actuality.
 Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require
 more space than the average hardware store, even a big box
 store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a
 social species because of how they often work and live together.
 This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival
 technique for thriving under the Log Boss.
 A "pack" of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental
 pressure of a Log Boss will naturally disperse until they each have
 a wide territory
 Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.
 One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian,
 however the latter tend to travel in social packs.
 Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large
 numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch
 Getting a "pack" of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard
 enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a
 LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and
 potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This
 artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok
 If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.
 Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware
 system. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive
 Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social
 predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably
 peaceful unless threatened.
 katy-l-wood
 As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100%
 accurate.
The delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores

The delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores

Community, Family, and Finance: Cancel Your Credit Card Before You Die A lady died this past January, and the bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to the Bank Here is the exchange Family Member: am calling to tell you she died back in January Bank The account was never closed and the late fees and charges stil apply. Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections. Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.' Family Member So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?' Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!' Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at her?' Bank: 'Excuse me?' Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?' Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.' Supervisor gets on the phone: Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance. Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.' Family Member from her estate?' Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?' Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew. (Lawyer info was given) Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?' Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given) You mean you want to collect After they get the fax Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help. Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care. Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply. (What is wrong with these people?1?) Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?' Bank: That might help... Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery Highway 129, Plot Number 69.' Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery ! Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet? thefingerfuckingfemalefury: ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. She didn’t need to pay. When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility. In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will. Debts and Deceased Relatives Here’s a link to the detail on that one. Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money They really do. My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.” Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN. If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves. The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off. Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200. Boosting this to let people know that if any of these greedy little dog-fuckers start harassing them to pay off a relatives debt the correct thing to do is just tell them to piss off and not pay them a single thing And that there is NOTHING they can do if you do this Unless you cosigned the loan, are a joint account holder, or a spouse of the deceased in a community property state, you would likely not be on the hook for any debts from the deceased. The executor of their estate will be in charge of addressing the loans with the help of the estate and hopefully life insurance money, but if there isn’t enough in that to pay off the debts then creditors are just shit out of luck and they legally are not allowed to mislead you into thinking you have to pay them back when you don’t (which is not to say that they don’t try). You have a legal right to order them not to contact you via letter.
Community, Family, and Finance: Cancel Your Credit Card Before
 You Die
 A lady died this past January, and the bank billed
 her for February and March for their annual service
 charges on her credit card, and added late fees and
 interest on the monthly charge. The balance had
 been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere
 around $60.00. A family member placed a call to
 the Bank

 Here is the exchange
 Family Member: am calling to tell you she died
 back in January
 Bank The account was never closed and the late
 fees and charges stil apply.
 Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to
 collections.
 Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already
 has been.'
 Family Member So, what will they do when they
 find out she is dead?'
 Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division
 or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
 Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at
 her?'
 Bank: 'Excuse me?'

 Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was
 telling you -
 the part about her being dead?'
 Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
 Supervisor gets on the phone:
 Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died
 back in January with a $0 balance.
 Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees
 and charges still apply.'
 Family Member
 from her estate?'
 Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
 Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew.
 (Lawyer info was given)
 Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
 Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given)
 You mean you want to collect

 After they get the fax
 Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death.
 I don't know what more I can do to help.
 Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great!
 If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't
 care.
 Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still
 apply.
 (What is wrong with these people?1?)
 Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing
 address?'
 Bank: That might help...
 Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery
 Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
 Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery !
 Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead
 people on your planet?
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
ohgoditsneph:

niniblack:

eudoxiav:


lawful-evil-novelist:

theludicrousrival:


billiam-spockspeare:
Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay

One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” 
On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. 


She didn’t need to pay.  When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility.
In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will.
Debts and Deceased Relatives
Here’s a link to the detail on that one.


Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money


They really do. 
My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.”
Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. 

DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN.

If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves.
The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off.

Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200.

Boosting this to let people know that if any of these greedy little dog-fuckers start harassing them to pay off a relatives debt the correct thing to do is just tell them to piss off and not pay them a single thing 
And that there is NOTHING they can do if you do this 


Unless you cosigned the loan, are a joint account holder, or a spouse of the deceased in a community property state, you would likely not be on the hook for any debts from the deceased. The executor of their estate will be in charge of addressing the loans with the help of the estate and hopefully life insurance money, but if there isn’t enough in that to pay off the debts then creditors are just shit out of luck and they legally are not allowed to mislead you into thinking you have to pay them back when you don’t (which is not to say that they don’t try). You have a legal right to order them not to contact you via letter.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury: ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitali...

Family, Get Money, and God: Cancel Your Credit Card Before You Die A lady died this past January, and the bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to the Bank Here is the exchange Family Member: am calling to tell you she died back in January Bank The account was never closed and the late fees and charges stil apply. Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections. Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.' Family Member So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?' Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!' Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at her?' Bank: 'Excuse me?' Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?' Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.' Supervisor gets on the phone: Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance. Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.' Family Member from her estate?' Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?' Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew. (Lawyer info was given) Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?' Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given) You mean you want to collect After they get the fax Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help. Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care. Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply. (What is wrong with these people?1?) Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?' Bank: That might help... Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery Highway 129, Plot Number 69.' Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery ! Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet? thefingerfuckingfemalefury: ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. She didn’t need to pay. When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility. In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will. Debts and Deceased Relatives Here’s a link to the detail on that one. Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money They really do. My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.” Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN. If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves. The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off. Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200. Boosting this to let people know that if any of these greedy little dog-fuckers start harassing them to pay off a relatives debt the correct thing to do is just tell them to piss off and not pay them a single thing And that there is NOTHING they can do if you do this
Family, Get Money, and God: Cancel Your Credit Card Before
 You Die
 A lady died this past January, and the bank billed
 her for February and March for their annual service
 charges on her credit card, and added late fees and
 interest on the monthly charge. The balance had
 been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere
 around $60.00. A family member placed a call to
 the Bank

 Here is the exchange
 Family Member: am calling to tell you she died
 back in January
 Bank The account was never closed and the late
 fees and charges stil apply.
 Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to
 collections.
 Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already
 has been.'
 Family Member So, what will they do when they
 find out she is dead?'
 Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division
 or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
 Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at
 her?'
 Bank: 'Excuse me?'

 Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was
 telling you -
 the part about her being dead?'
 Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
 Supervisor gets on the phone:
 Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died
 back in January with a $0 balance.
 Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees
 and charges still apply.'
 Family Member
 from her estate?'
 Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
 Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew.
 (Lawyer info was given)
 Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
 Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given)
 You mean you want to collect

 After they get the fax
 Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death.
 I don't know what more I can do to help.
 Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great!
 If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't
 care.
 Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still
 apply.
 (What is wrong with these people?1?)
 Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing
 address?'
 Bank: That might help...
 Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery
 Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
 Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery !
 Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead
 people on your planet?
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
ohgoditsneph:

niniblack:

eudoxiav:


lawful-evil-novelist:

theludicrousrival:


billiam-spockspeare:
Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay

One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” 
On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. 


She didn’t need to pay.  When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility.
In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will.
Debts and Deceased Relatives
Here’s a link to the detail on that one.


Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money


They really do. 
My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.”
Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. 

DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN.

If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves.
The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off.

Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200.

Boosting this to let people know that if any of these greedy little dog-fuckers start harassing them to pay off a relatives debt the correct thing to do is just tell them to piss off and not pay them a single thing 
And that there is NOTHING they can do if you do this

thefingerfuckingfemalefury: ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitali...

Animals, Bad, and Energy: zpo 96u noorsuekdeeysiddeymmm ut IOT-NHD KTV 8 No sheep were sheared to make this yarn, so rest all warm and snuggly in their own wooly jumpers tonight. spectralarchers: thegreenwolf: lipsredasroses: beachgirlnikita: glyndarling: witchella: laylibear: bettagal: sabelmouse: This fake yarn is supposedly better for sheep. Aimed at people who don’t know where wool comes from, it’s 100% plastic. Yes, plastic. So any garment you wash will release microfibres into the sea. It’ll never decompose. You’re supposed to believe that sheep shearing is violent and cruel. There are imbeciles out there that work in an unprofessional manner while shearing, but that’s not the case overall. Sheep don’t suffer from having their fleece removed. Left on, the fleece can become a home for fly eggs and the subsequent maggots which can eat the sheep. Chemical treatments are available to prevent that happening. It’s much better for the sheep, the land and the farmer to avoid chemical use. Don’t be fooled. Wool is a sustainable material, one we should make more and better use of. Miscrofibers hurt our fish friends. 😓 Hey kiddos as someone who grew up in the sheep capitol of the world, shearing sheep isn’t a bad thing and can be helpful for our fluffy friends!! Please be concious of your decisions!!! Also plastic yarn is cheap and difficult to work with. Please remember to peel your sheeps. Some sheep can be peeled! The process is called rooing. Domestic sheep do not shed their wool. They need to be sheered. If left unsheered, the wool they produce can become to heavy and kill them. Trust me, no sheep wasn’t to have so much wool it crushes them to death. Peel a sheep. Save a life. (Or lots of lives, if you consider the sea life choking on microplastics.) Any version of a “vegan” animal-material (silk, wool, leather, fur, etc.) is made from 100% plastic. They may call it all sorts of fancy things but it is plastic - plastic is made from petrol, which also fuels the whole oil- and petrol industry. You want to be dependent on green energy only? Then almost everything you buy in your local HM, New Yorker or other cheaper retail store isn’t helping. It’s all plastic. Which, as stated above, releases microfibres into the water EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. They’re washed. These microfibres degrade at an extremely long rate, whereas natural products decompose at a much faster rate. Polyester is made from the same thing they put in antifreeze for your car (Ethylene glycol). Sheering sheep doesn’t hurt them. Cow leather comes from cattle that is used in the meat industry. I understand if you do not want to use silk or fur because of the way it is produced (even though some furs are actually also byproducts of hunting, like Greenlandic sealskin, which is sold as a byproduct of Kalaalit hunting traditions and as a byproduct), but using polyester, acrylic or even viscose (the energy and CO2 print of creating viscose is GINORMOUS) instead is as harmful, if not, to the general ‘health’ of the planet. You made have saved a sheep, but you’ve just poisoned a whole bunch of fish and other water dwelling animals and microorganisms instead. If wooly products still bother you, buy 100% cotton, flax, hemp, bamboo, coconut fibre, wool (sheep, merino, alpaca, bison, angora, camel, any kind of animal you can brush/sheer, yes, even your golden retriever hairs should be able to be made into yarn if you find a spinning wheel and a spinster willing to try), sisal, etc. products instead. They’re nice and breathable too!
Animals, Bad, and Energy: zpo 96u
 noorsuekdeeysiddeymmm
 ut
 IOT-NHD KTV
 8
 No sheep were
 sheared to make
 this yarn, so rest
 all warm and
 snuggly in their
 own wooly
 jumpers tonight.
spectralarchers:

thegreenwolf:

lipsredasroses:

beachgirlnikita:


glyndarling:

witchella:

laylibear:


bettagal:

sabelmouse:

This fake yarn is supposedly better for sheep.
Aimed at people who don’t know where wool comes from, it’s 100% plastic. Yes, plastic.
So any garment you wash will release microfibres into the sea. It’ll never decompose.
You’re supposed to believe that sheep shearing is violent and cruel. There are imbeciles out there that work in an unprofessional manner while shearing, but that’s not the case overall.
Sheep don’t suffer from having their fleece removed.
Left on, the fleece can become a home for fly eggs and the subsequent maggots which can eat the sheep. Chemical treatments are available to prevent that happening. It’s much better for the sheep, the land and the farmer to avoid chemical use.
Don’t be fooled. Wool is a sustainable material, one we should make more and better use of.


 Miscrofibers hurt our fish friends. 😓


Hey kiddos as someone who grew up in the sheep capitol of the world, shearing sheep isn’t a bad thing and can be helpful for our fluffy friends!! Please be concious of your decisions!!!


Also plastic yarn is cheap and difficult to work with.

Please remember to peel your sheeps.

Some sheep can be peeled! The process is called rooing.


Domestic sheep do not shed their wool. They need to be sheered. If left unsheered, the wool they produce can become to heavy and kill them. Trust me, no sheep wasn’t to have so much wool it crushes them to death. 

Peel a sheep. Save a life. (Or lots of lives, if you consider the sea life choking on microplastics.)

Any version of a “vegan” animal-material (silk, wool, leather, fur, etc.) is made from 100% plastic. 
They may call it all sorts of fancy things but it is plastic - plastic is made from petrol, which also fuels the whole oil- and petrol industry. You want to be dependent on green energy only? Then almost everything you buy in your local HM, New Yorker or other cheaper retail store isn’t helping. It’s all plastic. Which, as stated above, releases microfibres into the water EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. They’re washed. These microfibres degrade at an extremely long rate, whereas natural products decompose at a much faster rate. 
Polyester is made from the same thing they put in antifreeze for your car (Ethylene glycol).
Sheering sheep doesn’t hurt them. Cow leather comes from cattle that is used in the meat industry. I understand if you do not want to use silk or fur because of the way it is produced (even though some furs are actually also byproducts of hunting, like Greenlandic sealskin, which is sold as a byproduct of Kalaalit hunting traditions and as a byproduct), but using polyester, acrylic or even viscose (the energy and CO2 print of creating viscose is GINORMOUS) instead is as harmful, if not, to the general ‘health’ of the planet. You made have saved a sheep, but you’ve just poisoned a whole bunch of fish and other water dwelling animals and microorganisms instead. 
If wooly products still bother you, buy 100% cotton, flax, hemp, bamboo, coconut fibre, wool (sheep, merino, alpaca, bison, angora, camel, any kind of animal you can brush/sheer, yes, even your golden retriever hairs should be able to be made into yarn if you find a spinning wheel and a spinster willing to try), sisal, etc. products instead. They’re nice and breathable too!

spectralarchers: thegreenwolf: lipsredasroses: beachgirlnikita: glyndarling: witchella: laylibear: bettagal: sabelmouse: This fak...

Alive, Cats, and Dogs: Saving your pet with CPR Check for breathing and pulse Check pulse using middle and index finger below the wrist, inner thigh (temoral artery). below the ankle or where left elbow touches With pets increasingly being treated like a member of the Areas to check family, many owners are learning emergency techniques like CPR to keep their pet alive before bringing it to a veterinarian. for pulse the chest Look for other warning signs Gums and lips will appear gray- colored. Pupils will be dilated and not responsive to light If there is no breathing and no pulse, begin CPR immediately. Gums Pupils If not breathing, give breath to animal Cats and small dogs Place your mouth over its nose and mouth to blow air in. Medium-large dogs Place your mouth over its nose to blow air in Heimlich maneuver If breath won't go in, airway may be blocked. Turn dog upside down, with its back against your chest. Wrap your arms around the dog and clasp your hands together just below its rib cage (since you're holding the dog upside down, it's above the rib cage, in the abdomen). Using both arms, give five sharp thrusts to the abdomen. Then check its mouth or airway for the object. If you see it, remove it and give two more rescue breaths Start compressions if no pulse Lay animal on right side and place hand over ribs where its elbow touches the chest. Begin compressions. Do not give compressions if dog has pulse. Compressions per breath of air Compress chest Animal size Catsmall dog (Under 30 lbs.) 5 1/2-1 inch Medium-large dog (30-90 lbs.) 1-3 inches 5 Giant dog (over 90 lbs.) 1-3 inches 10 Repeat procedure Stop CPR after 20 minutes. Check pulse after 1 minute and then every few minutes. Continue giving CPR until the animal has a puise and is breathing. soURCE American Red Cross lolzandtrollz: Every Dog Owner Needs To Know This
Alive, Cats, and Dogs: Saving your pet with CPR
 Check for breathing and pulse
 Check pulse using middle and index finger
 below the wrist, inner thigh (temoral artery).
 below the ankle or where left elbow touches
 With pets increasingly being
 treated like a member of the
 Areas to check
 family, many owners are learning
 emergency techniques like CPR
 to keep their pet alive before
 bringing it to a veterinarian.
 for pulse
 the chest
 Look for other
 warning signs
 Gums and lips will appear
 gray- colored.
 Pupils will be dilated and
 not responsive to light
 If there is no breathing and no
 pulse, begin CPR immediately.
 Gums
 Pupils
 If not breathing, give
 breath to animal
 Cats and small dogs
 Place your mouth over its nose
 and mouth to blow air in.
 Medium-large dogs
 Place your mouth over its nose
 to blow air in
 Heimlich maneuver
 If breath won't go in, airway may be blocked.
 Turn dog upside down, with its back against
 your chest. Wrap your arms around the dog
 and clasp your hands together just below its
 rib cage (since you're holding the dog upside
 down, it's above the rib cage, in the
 abdomen). Using both arms, give five sharp thrusts
 to the abdomen. Then check its mouth or airway for the
 object. If you see it, remove it and give two more
 rescue breaths
 Start compressions if no pulse
 Lay animal on right side and place hand over ribs
 where its elbow touches the chest. Begin
 compressions. Do not give compressions
 if dog has pulse.
 Compressions
 per breath
 of air
 Compress
 chest
 Animal size
 Catsmall dog (Under 30 lbs.)
 5
 1/2-1 inch
 Medium-large dog (30-90 lbs.)
 1-3 inches
 5
 Giant dog (over 90 lbs.)
 1-3 inches
 10
 Repeat
 procedure
 Stop CPR
 after 20 minutes.
 Check pulse after 1 minute
 and then every few minutes.
 Continue giving CPR until the
 animal has a puise and is breathing.
 soURCE
 American Red Cross
lolzandtrollz:

Every Dog Owner Needs To Know This

lolzandtrollz: Every Dog Owner Needs To Know This

Bad, Complex, and Dude: 1:42 PM Tweet Alexandra Erin Retweeted Audrey @Turbocrit Gamer dudes are wild they'll play a game about overthrowing a corrupt monarch but if there's 1 gay character in it then it's "too political" 8/25/17, 1:50 PM 4,764 Retweets 11.6K Likes Audrey Turbocrit 14h Replying to @Turbocrit Not to mention the whole "having a gay/trans character in a high fantasy setting is completely unrealistic. Also here's some dragons" thing 8 237 829 WC @Hexy27Bernie1 7h Tweet your reply definitelygayrpgideas: definitelygayrpgideas: thesallowbeldam: kirinandvlindertje: vaishino: atomic-darth: pupperoni-pizza: didntfitthenarrative: mitch-turn: Sweet generalization. It’s not about whether a character is trans or gay. Gay characters make sense. People have been gay for millennia. Trans however. Not the case. In a high fantasy setting, how in the balls are they going to perform surgery where they change the sex of the character??? It makes no sense at all. They’d have to explain it. And remember, this is high fantasy, Game of Thrones is also in that category. This is a time where they would reach into your body with an object strikingly similar to a salad tossing spoon to yank out a small piece of arrowhead. Pretty sure they hadn’t figured out a surgery as complex as a sex change… The people complaining that there aren’t enough gay/trans people in stuff like this are just as bad if not moreso than the people who complain about gay/trans people being in stuff like this. Create your own fantasy world filled with nothing but gay/trans people. Make it so that being heterosexual is the minority. All the power to you. Good luck trying to create it. You don’t have to have surgery to be transgender. Lots of transgender people don’t. Transgender people, people who identify with the gender not corresponding with their birth sex, have existed before the surgery. And the existence of and recognition of a third sex or dual sex existed in pre-modern times in lots of places are the world.So, for one, your “how in the balls are they going to perform surgery“ question doesn’t actually matter. They don’t need to in order for transgender people to exist.But if they did want to include transgender people who undergo physical changes to reflect their gender/sexual identity, in a HIGH FANTASY world, there’s actually a really easy answer to that: *ahem* “How are you going to make someone trans in a fantasy setting full of magic spells, potions, and artifacts?” shout out to the elixir of sex shift for covering more than just a gender binary. also lets not forget that in ye old days (aka time of the ancient greeks (aka the bc years)) that people drank the urine of pregnant mares to feminize themselves. like, trans people find a way ;) …the fucking Sumerians had trans people, brosky. Sumerians. They didn’t even have fucking iron, but they had trans women. dude lemme find you a fucking. girdle of sex change from 1st edition woah what’s that?? the first edition efreet cover??? OH HEY ITS A FUCKING GIRDLE OF SEX CHANGE AND THERES ALSO A POSSIBILITY IT REMOVES ALL SEX CHARACTERISTICS FROM THE WEARER it’s on page 145 of the dmg 1st ed. want an easier-to-read screenshot of a pdf?? tldr fuck you it’s pride month welcome back to “tldr fuck you” anyways dnd says trans & nb rights
Bad, Complex, and Dude: 1:42 PM
 Tweet
 Alexandra Erin Retweeted
 Audrey
 @Turbocrit
 Gamer dudes are wild they'll play a game
 about overthrowing a corrupt monarch
 but if there's 1 gay character in it then it's
 "too political"
 8/25/17, 1:50 PM
 4,764 Retweets 11.6K Likes
 Audrey Turbocrit 14h
 Replying to @Turbocrit
 Not to mention the whole "having a gay/trans
 character in a high fantasy setting is
 completely unrealistic. Also here's some
 dragons" thing
 8
 237
 829
 WC @Hexy27Bernie1 7h
 Tweet your reply
definitelygayrpgideas:
definitelygayrpgideas:

thesallowbeldam:

kirinandvlindertje:

vaishino:

atomic-darth:

pupperoni-pizza:

didntfitthenarrative:

mitch-turn:

Sweet generalization. 
It’s not about whether a character is trans or gay. Gay characters make sense. People have been gay for millennia. Trans however. Not the case. In a high fantasy setting, how in the balls are they going to perform surgery where they change the sex of the character??? It makes no sense at all. They’d have to explain it. And remember, this is high fantasy, Game of Thrones is also in that category. This is a time where they would reach into your body with an object strikingly similar to a salad tossing spoon to yank out a small piece of arrowhead. Pretty sure they hadn’t figured out a surgery as complex as a sex change…
The people complaining that there aren’t enough gay/trans people in stuff like this are just as bad if not moreso than the people who complain about gay/trans people being in stuff like this.
Create your own fantasy world filled with nothing but gay/trans people. Make it so that being heterosexual is the minority. All the power to you. Good luck trying to create it.

You don’t have to have surgery to be transgender. Lots of transgender people don’t. Transgender people, people who identify with the gender not corresponding with their birth sex, have existed before the surgery. And the existence of and recognition of a third sex or dual sex existed in pre-modern times in lots of places are the world.So, for one, your “how in the balls are they going to perform surgery“ question doesn’t actually matter. They don’t need to in order for transgender people to exist.But if they did want to include transgender people who undergo physical changes to reflect their gender/sexual identity, in a HIGH FANTASY world, there’s actually a really easy answer to that:

*ahem*


“How are you going to make someone trans in a fantasy setting full of magic spells, potions, and artifacts?”

shout out to the elixir of sex shift for covering more than just a gender binary.

also lets not forget that in ye old days (aka time of the ancient greeks (aka the bc years)) that people drank the urine of pregnant mares to feminize themselves. like, trans people find a way ;)

…the fucking Sumerians had trans people, brosky.
Sumerians.
They didn’t even have fucking iron, but they had trans women.

dude lemme find you a fucking. girdle of sex change from 1st edition
woah what’s that?? the first edition efreet cover???
OH HEY ITS A FUCKING GIRDLE OF SEX CHANGE AND THERES ALSO A POSSIBILITY IT REMOVES ALL SEX CHARACTERISTICS FROM THE WEARER
it’s on page 145 of the dmg 1st ed. want an easier-to-read screenshot of a pdf??
tldr fuck you

it’s pride month welcome back to “tldr fuck you” anyways dnd says trans & nb rights

definitelygayrpgideas: definitelygayrpgideas: thesallowbeldam: kirinandvlindertje: vaishino: atomic-darth: pupperoni-pizza: didntfitth...

Bad, Complex, and Dude: 1:42 PM Tweet Alexandra Erin Retweeted Audrey @Turbocrit Gamer dudes are wild they'll play a game about overthrowing a corrupt monarch but if there's 1 gay character in it then it's "too political" 8/25/17, 1:50 PM 4,764 Retweets 11.6K Likes Audrey Turbocrit 14h Replying to @Turbocrit Not to mention the whole "having a gay/trans character in a high fantasy setting is completely unrealistic. Also here's some dragons" thing 8 237 829 WC @Hexy27Bernie1 7h Tweet your reply definitelygayrpgideas: definitelygayrpgideas: thesallowbeldam: kirinandvlindertje: vaishino: atomic-darth: pupperoni-pizza: didntfitthenarrative: mitch-turn: Sweet generalization. It’s not about whether a character is trans or gay. Gay characters make sense. People have been gay for millennia. Trans however. Not the case. In a high fantasy setting, how in the balls are they going to perform surgery where they change the sex of the character??? It makes no sense at all. They’d have to explain it. And remember, this is high fantasy, Game of Thrones is also in that category. This is a time where they would reach into your body with an object strikingly similar to a salad tossing spoon to yank out a small piece of arrowhead. Pretty sure they hadn’t figured out a surgery as complex as a sex change… The people complaining that there aren’t enough gay/trans people in stuff like this are just as bad if not moreso than the people who complain about gay/trans people being in stuff like this. Create your own fantasy world filled with nothing but gay/trans people. Make it so that being heterosexual is the minority. All the power to you. Good luck trying to create it. You don’t have to have surgery to be transgender. Lots of transgender people don’t. Transgender people, people who identify with the gender not corresponding with their birth sex, have existed before the surgery. And the existence of and recognition of a third sex or dual sex existed in pre-modern times in lots of places are the world.So, for one, your “how in the balls are they going to perform surgery“ question doesn’t actually matter. They don’t need to in order for transgender people to exist.But if they did want to include transgender people who undergo physical changes to reflect their gender/sexual identity, in a HIGH FANTASY world, there’s actually a really easy answer to that: *ahem* “How are you going to make someone trans in a fantasy setting full of magic spells, potions, and artifacts?” shout out to the elixir of sex shift for covering more than just a gender binary. also lets not forget that in ye old days (aka time of the ancient greeks (aka the bc years)) that people drank the urine of pregnant mares to feminize themselves. like, trans people find a way ;) …the fucking Sumerians had trans people, brosky. Sumerians. They didn’t even have fucking iron, but they had trans women. dude lemme find you a fucking. girdle of sex change from 1st edition woah what’s that?? the first edition efreet cover??? OH HEY ITS A FUCKING GIRDLE OF SEX CHANGE AND THERES ALSO A POSSIBILITY IT REMOVES ALL SEX CHARACTERISTICS FROM THE WEARER it’s on page 145 of the dmg 1st ed. want an easier-to-read screenshot of a pdf?? tldr fuck you it’s pride month welcome back to “tldr fuck you” anyways dnd says trans nb rights
Bad, Complex, and Dude: 1:42 PM
 Tweet
 Alexandra Erin Retweeted
 Audrey
 @Turbocrit
 Gamer dudes are wild they'll play a game
 about overthrowing a corrupt monarch
 but if there's 1 gay character in it then it's
 "too political"
 8/25/17, 1:50 PM
 4,764 Retweets 11.6K Likes
 Audrey Turbocrit 14h
 Replying to @Turbocrit
 Not to mention the whole "having a gay/trans
 character in a high fantasy setting is
 completely unrealistic. Also here's some
 dragons" thing
 8
 237
 829
 WC @Hexy27Bernie1 7h
 Tweet your reply
definitelygayrpgideas:

definitelygayrpgideas:

thesallowbeldam:

kirinandvlindertje:

vaishino:

atomic-darth:

pupperoni-pizza:

didntfitthenarrative:

mitch-turn:

Sweet generalization. 
It’s not about whether a character is trans or gay. Gay characters make sense. People have been gay for millennia. Trans however. Not the case. In a high fantasy setting, how in the balls are they going to perform surgery where they change the sex of the character??? It makes no sense at all. They’d have to explain it. And remember, this is high fantasy, Game of Thrones is also in that category. This is a time where they would reach into your body with an object strikingly similar to a salad tossing spoon to yank out a small piece of arrowhead. Pretty sure they hadn’t figured out a surgery as complex as a sex change…
The people complaining that there aren’t enough gay/trans people in stuff like this are just as bad if not moreso than the people who complain about gay/trans people being in stuff like this.
Create your own fantasy world filled with nothing but gay/trans people. Make it so that being heterosexual is the minority. All the power to you. Good luck trying to create it.

You don’t have to have surgery to be transgender. Lots of transgender people don’t. Transgender people, people who identify with the gender not corresponding with their birth sex, have existed before the surgery. And the existence of and recognition of a third sex or dual sex existed in pre-modern times in lots of places are the world.So, for one, your “how in the balls are they going to perform surgery“ question doesn’t actually matter. They don’t need to in order for transgender people to exist.But if they did want to include transgender people who undergo physical changes to reflect their gender/sexual identity, in a HIGH FANTASY world, there’s actually a really easy answer to that:

*ahem*


“How are you going to make someone trans in a fantasy setting full of magic spells, potions, and artifacts?”

shout out to the elixir of sex shift for covering more than just a gender binary.

also lets not forget that in ye old days (aka time of the ancient greeks (aka the bc years)) that people drank the urine of pregnant mares to feminize themselves. like, trans people find a way ;)

…the fucking Sumerians had trans people, brosky.
Sumerians.
They didn’t even have fucking iron, but they had trans women.

dude lemme find you a fucking. girdle of sex change from 1st edition
woah what’s that?? the first edition efreet cover???
OH HEY ITS A FUCKING GIRDLE OF SEX CHANGE AND THERES ALSO A POSSIBILITY IT REMOVES ALL SEX CHARACTERISTICS FROM THE WEARER
it’s on page 145 of the dmg 1st ed. want an easier-to-read screenshot of a pdf??
tldr fuck you

it’s pride month welcome back to “tldr fuck you” anyways dnd says trans  nb rights

definitelygayrpgideas: definitelygayrpgideas: thesallowbeldam: kirinandvlindertje: vaishino: atomic-darth: pupperoni-pizza: didntfitt...

Beard, Beautiful, and Children: hu by Tami feminismandmedia: fairyofsomething: affinityforthestars: jumpingjacktrash: curlicuecal: uluhlynx: sweet-saccharin: if this ain’t the most beautiful mermaid you’ve ever seen… He looks so happy 10/10 a good mermaid the mermaid of happiness Reblog to have good and warm feelings ;w; 3 I think he’s actually from the Merby group. It’s a bunch dudes with facial hair who get together, put on tails, and do a photoshoot. This photoshoot gets turned into a calendar which is then sold and most (if not all) proceeds go to charity. Their most recent charity went to VPNL, which according to their website “works diligently throughout the province to change attitudes, behaviours, and social norms associated with violence. VPNL organizations provide violence prevention and early intervention services to those most at risk of experiencing violence: women, children and youth, Indigenous women and children, older persons, persons with disabilities, persons of varying race or ethnicity, LGBTQ+ persons, and persons of varying economic status.” They also currently have applications open for new merbys! Aside from it going to a great cause, it’s also a super funny cute calendar! It makes for a great gift. I got two in 2018! Oh and they’re also hella inclusive and socially conscious. One of my favorite quotes from the Merby site: “Inclusion is our jam. Humans of all genders, ethnicities, faiths, abilities and ages are welcome. Good people, doing good things, having fun the whole time – that’s who we are. Ability to grow facial hair is irrelevant – it’s the beard inside that matters most.”
Beard, Beautiful, and Children: hu by Tami
feminismandmedia:

fairyofsomething:

affinityforthestars:

jumpingjacktrash:

curlicuecal:

uluhlynx:

sweet-saccharin:
if this ain’t the most beautiful mermaid you’ve ever seen…

He looks so happy


10/10 a good mermaid

the mermaid of happiness


Reblog to have good and warm feelings

;w; 3

I think he’s actually from the Merby group. It’s a bunch dudes with facial hair who get together, put on tails, and do a photoshoot. 
This photoshoot gets turned into a calendar which is then sold and most (if not all) proceeds go to charity. 
Their most recent charity went to VPNL, which according to their website  “works diligently throughout the province to change attitudes, behaviours, and social norms associated with violence. VPNL organizations provide violence prevention and early intervention services to those most at risk of experiencing violence: women, children and youth, Indigenous women and children, older persons, persons with disabilities, persons of varying race or ethnicity, LGBTQ+ persons, and persons of varying economic status.”
They also currently have applications open for new merbys!
Aside from it going to a great cause, it’s also a super funny  cute calendar! It makes for a great gift. I got two in 2018! 
Oh and they’re also hella inclusive and socially conscious. One of my favorite quotes from the Merby site: 
“Inclusion is our jam. Humans of all genders, ethnicities, faiths, abilities and ages are welcome. Good people, doing good things, having fun the whole time – that’s who we are. Ability to grow facial hair is irrelevant – it’s the beard inside that matters most.”

feminismandmedia: fairyofsomething: affinityforthestars: jumpingjacktrash: curlicuecal: uluhlynx: sweet-saccharin: if this ain’t the m...

Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates I can feel the frustration
Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark:

minority-cubed:

princemetalthunder:

skrill-cosby:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

oh my god these are great

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes


The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates

I can feel the frustration

feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a...