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Is My Favorite: Slapping Karens is my favorite hobby
Is My Favorite: Slapping Karens is my favorite hobby

Slapping Karens is my favorite hobby

Is My Favorite: queercbc: For anyone wondering if they should watch Harley Quinn on DC Universe, here is my favorite sequence from the first season.
Is My Favorite: queercbc:

For anyone wondering if they should watch Harley Quinn on DC 
Universe, here is my favorite sequence from the first season.

queercbc: For anyone wondering if they should watch Harley Quinn on DC Universe, here is my favorite sequence from the first season.

Is My Favorite: Comic Sans is my favorite X
Is My Favorite: Comic Sans is my favorite X

Comic Sans is my favorite X

Is My Favorite: senpaijess: Inuyasha is my favorite anime and I’m so happy hearing the news of it’s return! I hope you enjoy my art and 10/10 recommend to watch Inuyasha if you have the time.
Is My Favorite: senpaijess:

Inuyasha is my favorite anime and I’m so happy hearing the news of it’s return! I hope you enjoy my art and 10/10 recommend to watch Inuyasha if you have the time.

senpaijess: Inuyasha is my favorite anime and I’m so happy hearing the news of it’s return! I hope you enjoy my art and 10/10 recommend...

Is My Favorite: twocatstailoring: greenjudy: eggcup: hands down this is my favorite picture ever The ancient cry has been answered: can has CAN HAS
Is My Favorite: twocatstailoring:

greenjudy:
eggcup:
hands down this is my favorite picture ever
The ancient cry has been answered:
can has

CAN HAS

twocatstailoring: greenjudy: eggcup: hands down this is my favorite picture ever The ancient cry has been answered: can has CAN HAS

Is My Favorite: animal-crossing: veracrossing: This is my favorite leap year quote.  reblogging in honor of me realizing it’s a leap year
Is My Favorite: animal-crossing:
veracrossing:

This is my favorite leap year quote. 

reblogging in honor of me realizing it’s a leap year

animal-crossing: veracrossing: This is my favorite leap year quote.  reblogging in honor of me realizing it’s a leap year

Is My Favorite: maruberiart: I wanted to draw to my husbando Inuyasha so much and I tried new things with the color c:Inuyasha is my favorite anime of my childhood,!!!
Is My Favorite: maruberiart:

I wanted to draw to my husbando Inuyasha so much and I tried new things with the color c:Inuyasha is my favorite anime of my childhood,!!!

maruberiart: I wanted to draw to my husbando Inuyasha so much and I tried new things with the color c:Inuyasha is my favorite anime of m...

Is My Favorite: cgbk10: screaming-space-pastel: cookie-cherry: books-andbiscuits: my-wifes-princess-apparently: fandomfan315: wereallcurioshere12: doggiediva13: mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog: goldiemarsh: darkishleaf: stanlysatanly: darkishleaf: crimson-chains: foxpirates-art: twiglightdragon: gay-bara-yaoi-cartoon: coolneko: goldenyaoi: morning-star-sempai: siilasraayan: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses: capri-sunqueen: just-a-slytherin-with-salt: tree-of-blue-squirrel: snovolovac: rattling-the-stars-in-a-tardis: madamelibrarian: soubidou: multifandom-hoes: iamatrashfan: iamatrashfan: monstersofmemory: charliejamesnovak: conniemcfalcon: thegamerkangaroo: m4dh4ttey266: zaku-kazu: mild-creativity: ameliapondandrory: ringo-smile: yaoi-online: janaya7609: yaoi-totally-my-life: ash-asr: small-town-ink: romanoscurl: inafantasy-wby: theartofwazzing: maria-ruta: bluetiesandflannelshirts: maria-ruta: hamburgergod: maria-ruta: schottishy: m-i-y-u-k-i-nyaa: daitoshi: all-canadian-striderp: cheese3d: cheese3d: anyone please ask your crush out like this The thrilling answer no they need to kiss out behind the school!!!! oops my hand slipped nexttttt pleaseee :D Come on guys add on to this tumblr needs this to be a comic series I was asked for doing this, so I did BAM! I’m out of ideas! XD next? THIS IS TOO CUTE I CAN’T LEAVE IT ALONE I’M SORRY OHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!! LOOOK ATT THIIIIS!!!! LOOOOK ATTT THIIIISS!!!! 80 NEEEXT!!!!! IT HAD TO BE DONE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O* OH MY GOOD!!!!! ThAT’S IT!!!! #0o0# so yeah I LOVE THIS REBLOGGED THIS TWICE I have a need…..I must add to this… still waiting for the smut C’mon guys… it needs some smut THIS NEEDS TO CONTINUE SOMEONE PLEASE CONTINUE IT Not so perfect but still perfect first date HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS WITH MY ENTIRE HEART O HECk IT GOT bETtEr OMG, THIS IS PERFECT 💖 notes/letters=the most intimate gesture! THERES MORE I reblogged this like a year and a half ago and IT CONTINUES!?  ITS BACK OMG Omg it’s here! THIS CUTE I WANNA CONTINUE IT Ok I tried because this is so cute  OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDFFDFF IT GOT EVEN BETTER OMG This has to be the most adorable thing I’ve seen today.  This gave me so many happy and cute feels every time this circles back there’s always more, I love you all  this warms my heart on so many levels <3 ITS BACK I’m just sitting here Hitting my knee Squealing and smiling omfg hey remember that time tumblr wrote an. entire. gay webcomic. This just goes to show that we can all do great things if we collaborate and accept each other. AAAAAAHH ITS BACK THIS IS SOOOOO ADORABLE ♡♡♡♡♡♡ Only because it’s fucking cute!!! This is so beautiful ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Let it continue!!! Here’s my addiction If the text is to small:Happy birthday!!!………..I’ll see you later today?If you want….I have something Important to ask you,,,, >.> <.< ^_^;; ^///////^ Keepin it rollin!  My contribution to this adorable story ^^ Can I request naming the big guy Damian and the little one Ollie? Plot twist. I kinda want the big one to be Ollie and the little guy Damian. Double plot twist: same i added sum more– This is my favorite. B E A U T I F U L The last hand kiss got me…..oh wow. IT’S B A C K i love this so much I LOVE THIS My gay ass need CONTINUATION!!!! WOW! THIS HAS PROGRESSED SO MUCH SINCE I LAST SAW THIS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Is My Favorite: cgbk10:
screaming-space-pastel:


cookie-cherry:


books-andbiscuits:

my-wifes-princess-apparently:

fandomfan315:

wereallcurioshere12:


doggiediva13:

mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog:

goldiemarsh:


darkishleaf:

stanlysatanly:


darkishleaf:


crimson-chains:


foxpirates-art:

twiglightdragon:

gay-bara-yaoi-cartoon:

coolneko:


goldenyaoi:


morning-star-sempai:


siilasraayan:


biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

capri-sunqueen:

just-a-slytherin-with-salt:

tree-of-blue-squirrel:


snovolovac:

rattling-the-stars-in-a-tardis:

madamelibrarian:

soubidou:

multifandom-hoes:

iamatrashfan:

iamatrashfan:

monstersofmemory:

charliejamesnovak:

conniemcfalcon:

thegamerkangaroo:

m4dh4ttey266:

zaku-kazu:

mild-creativity:

ameliapondandrory:

ringo-smile:

yaoi-online:

janaya7609:

yaoi-totally-my-life:


ash-asr:

small-town-ink:

romanoscurl:

inafantasy-wby:

theartofwazzing:

maria-ruta:

bluetiesandflannelshirts:

maria-ruta:

hamburgergod:

maria-ruta:

schottishy:

m-i-y-u-k-i-nyaa:

daitoshi:

all-canadian-striderp:

cheese3d:

cheese3d:


anyone please ask your crush out like this


The thrilling answer

no they need to kiss out behind the school!!!!

oops my hand slipped

nexttttt pleaseee :D

Come on guys add on to this tumblr needs this to be a comic series

I was asked for doing this, so I did
BAM!
I’m out of ideas! XD
next?

THIS IS TOO CUTE I CAN’T LEAVE IT ALONE I’M SORRY

OHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!
LOOOK ATT THIIIIS!!!!
LOOOOK ATTT THIIIISS!!!!
80
NEEEXT!!!!!

IT HAD TO BE DONE:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*O*
OH MY GOOD!!!!!
ThAT’S IT!!!!
#0o0#


so yeah

I LOVE THIS

REBLOGGED THIS TWICE

I have a need…..I must add to this…

still waiting for the smut


C’mon guys… it needs some smut


THIS NEEDS TO CONTINUE

SOMEONE PLEASE CONTINUE IT

Not so perfect but still perfect first date


HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS WITH MY ENTIRE HEART


O HECk IT GOT bETtEr


OMG, THIS IS PERFECT 💖

notes/letters=the most intimate gesture!


THERES MORE

I reblogged this like a year and a half ago and IT CONTINUES!? 

ITS BACK OMG


Omg it’s here!


THIS CUTE I WANNA CONTINUE IT

Ok I tried because this is so cute 


OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDFFDFF

IT GOT EVEN BETTER OMG

This has to be the most adorable thing I’ve seen today. 

This gave me so many happy and cute feels

every time this circles back there’s always more, I love you all 

this warms my heart on so many levels <3


ITS BACK


I’m just sitting here
Hitting my knee
Squealing and smiling omfg

hey remember that time tumblr wrote an. entire. gay webcomic.


This just goes to show that we can all do great things if we collaborate and accept each other.


AAAAAAHH ITS BACK


THIS IS SOOOOO ADORABLE ♡♡♡♡♡♡


Only because it’s fucking cute!!!


This is so beautiful ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Let it continue!!! Here’s my addiction If the text is to small:Happy birthday!!!………..I’ll see you later today?If you want….I have something Important to ask you,,,, >.> <.< ^_^;; ^///////^

Keepin it rollin! 

My contribution to this adorable story ^^


Can I request naming the big guy Damian and the little one Ollie?


Plot twist. I kinda want the big one to be Ollie and the little guy Damian.


Double plot twist: same

i added sum more–


This is my favorite.

B E A U T I F U L


The last hand kiss got me…..oh wow. 


IT’S B A C K

i love this so much

I LOVE THIS



My gay ass need CONTINUATION!!!!



WOW!



THIS HAS PROGRESSED SO MUCH SINCE I LAST SAW THIS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

cgbk10: screaming-space-pastel: cookie-cherry: books-andbiscuits: my-wifes-princess-apparently: fandomfan315: wereallcurioshere12:...

Is My Favorite: animal-crossing: veracrossing: This is my favorite leap year quote.  reblogging in honor of me realizing it’s a leap year
Is My Favorite: animal-crossing:

veracrossing:

This is my favorite leap year quote. 

reblogging in honor of me realizing it’s a leap year

animal-crossing: veracrossing: This is my favorite leap year quote.  reblogging in honor of me realizing it’s a leap year

Is My Favorite: space-pics: Saturn is my favorite planet to photograph. (good atmosphere)
Is My Favorite: space-pics:

Saturn is my favorite planet to photograph. (good atmosphere)

space-pics: Saturn is my favorite planet to photograph. (good atmosphere)

Is My Favorite: kaspbrak-eddie: richiefuckfacetozier: dutchster: Party Rock Anthem has the same BPM as Uptown Girl (x) This is my favorite thing to exist all the gays when this song comes on in the club
Is My Favorite: kaspbrak-eddie:

richiefuckfacetozier:

dutchster:

Party Rock Anthem has the same BPM as Uptown Girl (x)

This is my favorite thing to exist 

all the gays when this song comes on in the club

kaspbrak-eddie: richiefuckfacetozier: dutchster: Party Rock Anthem has the same BPM as Uptown Girl (x) This is my favorite thing to e...

Is My Favorite: adult swim thatonewiththebluehair: cowcat44: Dying from the cute OMG! Uncle Piccolo ftw I squeed when I first watched this scene. Piccolo is my favorite. 
Is My Favorite: adult swim
thatonewiththebluehair:

cowcat44:

Dying from the cute OMG!
Uncle Piccolo ftw

I squeed when I first watched this scene. Piccolo is my favorite. 

thatonewiththebluehair: cowcat44: Dying from the cute OMG! Uncle Piccolo ftw I squeed when I first watched this scene. Piccolo is my f...

Is My Favorite: Choose Toppings Toppings Cheese WHOLE LEFT RIGHT NONE AMOUNT Sauce Pepperoni Extra Large Pepperon Italian Sausage Green Peppers Black Olives Pineapple Mushrooms Onions Beef Normal Bacon Anchovies ze.com woodle-dee-doodle: eryn-n-g: capt-emmett: pixie-mage: riningear: italiyeah: tonyswirl: ineffable-hufflepuff: misandryevans: babymarkers: the-chocolate-chip-pancake: thatsnotwatyourmomsaid: none pizza with left beef It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef ive missed you #THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING JUST THE BEEF#YOU COULD TELL THE POOR CHEF WAS JUST FUCKING#DISGUSTED#WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS#WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS#WHO THE FUCK ORDERS A#A /NONE/ PIZZA?? JUST BEEF ON THE LEFT???#FUCK IT#F U CK IT#JUST COOK THE FUCKING DOUGH#HERE LET ME THROW THIS FUCKING HANDFUL OF OBLONG BEEF CHUNKS AT YOUR NONE FUCKING PIZZA#FUCK YOU#FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR#LEFT FUCKING BEEF (via askscientistcarlos) I love None Pizza with Left Beef. 3th time i’ve reblogged this 3th tumblr people love this. reddit people love this. 4chan scum loves this. there is just something intrinsically hilarious about none pizza with left beef. bless  I hope this never dies. I hope None Pizza with Left Beef will go down in Internet history alongside such legends as the Rickroll and He-Man’s rendition of “What’s Going On”. YES NONE PIZZA WITH THE LEFT BEEF NONE PIZZA WITH LEFT BEEF NONE PIZZA WITH LEFT BEEF
Is My Favorite: Choose Toppings
 Toppings
 Cheese
 WHOLE LEFT RIGHT NONE AMOUNT
 Sauce
 Pepperoni
 Extra Large
 Pepperon
 Italian Sausage
 Green Peppers
 Black Olives
 Pineapple
 Mushrooms
 Onions
 Beef
 Normal
 Bacon
 Anchovies
 ze.com
woodle-dee-doodle:

eryn-n-g:


capt-emmett:

pixie-mage:


riningear:

italiyeah:

tonyswirl:

ineffable-hufflepuff:

misandryevans:

babymarkers:

the-chocolate-chip-pancake:

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

none pizza with left beef

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

ive missed you

#THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING JUST THE BEEF#YOU COULD TELL THE POOR CHEF WAS JUST FUCKING#DISGUSTED#WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS#WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS#WHO THE FUCK ORDERS A#A /NONE/ PIZZA?? JUST BEEF ON THE LEFT???#FUCK IT#F U CK IT#JUST COOK THE FUCKING DOUGH#HERE LET ME THROW THIS FUCKING HANDFUL OF OBLONG BEEF CHUNKS AT YOUR NONE FUCKING PIZZA#FUCK YOU#FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR#LEFT FUCKING BEEF (via askscientistcarlos)

I love None Pizza with Left Beef.

3th time i’ve reblogged this

3th

tumblr people love this. reddit people love this. 4chan scum loves this. there is just something intrinsically hilarious about none pizza with left beef. bless 


I hope this never dies. I hope None Pizza with Left Beef will go down in Internet history alongside such legends as the Rickroll and He-Man’s rendition of “What’s Going On”.


YES NONE PIZZA WITH THE LEFT BEEF


NONE PIZZA WITH LEFT BEEF


NONE PIZZA WITH LEFT BEEF

woodle-dee-doodle: eryn-n-g: capt-emmett: pixie-mage: riningear: italiyeah: tonyswirl: ineffable-hufflepuff: misandryevans: ba...

Is My Favorite: cazarex:I bought clip studio on sale, lol. Sango is my favorite mom friend.
Is My Favorite: cazarex:I bought clip studio on sale, lol. Sango is my favorite mom friend.

cazarex:I bought clip studio on sale, lol. Sango is my favorite mom friend.

Is My Favorite: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
Is My Favorite: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

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