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Jerks: Cats are jerks
Jerks: Cats are jerks

Cats are jerks

Jerks: Ornery honking jerks
Jerks: Ornery honking jerks

Ornery honking jerks

Jerks: Cats are jerks [OC]
Jerks: Cats are jerks [OC]

Cats are jerks [OC]

Jerks: Small dogs are jerks
Jerks: Small dogs are jerks

Small dogs are jerks

Jerks: Small dogs are jerks by vid90 MORE MEMES
Jerks: Small dogs are jerks by vid90
MORE MEMES

Small dogs are jerks by vid90 MORE MEMES

Jerks: gotham city by meg INT. WAREHOUSE NIGHT The discordant SCREECH of a wooden chair's being dragged across a concrete floor echoes through the spacious yet deserted warehouse. The tinted lights are dim, some flickering without any discernible pattern. A heavy pair of boots stomp rhythmically as an man makes his way across the room, the chair firmly in his grip. The man, a nameless HENCHMAN type, is who someone with manners would refer to as "burly" or "built." He stops underneath the brightest light in the room, setting the chair down and revealing its occupant. He is wearing a golden "RR" symbol decorating his chest. Despite the sack covering his features, one can still make out his raven hair poking out of the burlap fabric. a uniform of sorts, with black and red details plus HENCHMAN (gruff) Seems like the Batman... is losing his touch RED ROBIN's head twitches underneath the sack. RED ROBIN (muffled) Do I look like Batman to you? The henchman circles the teen like a tiger stalking its prey, if that tiger had one too many antelope dinners. He forces out a deep and planned LAUGH HENCHMAN No, no, no. Much too small, you are Red Robin shifts in his seat. Inaudible muffling can be heard from underneath the sack. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) Shhh, little bird. You must save your breath! Air will get spare quite soon. Henchman LAUGHS again, but this time his voice horribly cracks. He COUGHS quickly, but the damage was done. Red Robin shifts in his seat once more in the following uncomfortable silence. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) So tell me- 2. Henchman tries to restore the tense atmosphere by slipping an obnoxiously sized syringe full of mysterious liquid out of a package hidden in his coat pocket. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) Where is the bat? My employer just wants to... chat. Red Robin drops his head to the side, effectively communicating a "bitch, please" without the spoken word. Henchman menacingly shakes his head as he stalks toward the teen HENCHMAN (CONT'D) I had a feeling you were the dumb robin A voice suddenly cuts through the heavy air. RED HOOD (from above) Damn right! The man drops the syringe in surprise, eliciting CRASH Red Robin perks up at the dialogue, using the hand that was supposedly tied to the splintering wooden chair to lift the sack from his head. a horrid RED ROBIN (yelling) I resent that! More bickering voices start to emerge from the darkened catwalk above the factory floor. The henchman stands stunned SPOILER Hey, don't say that! sensitive. He's ROBIN Weakest Robin, maybe. Getting himself kidnapped by this oaf? Disgraceful RED ROBIN (yelling) We literally planned this! It was your idea! Red Robin starts untying the ropes around his ankles. 3. ROBIN Maybe there's a reason you're always playing kidnapped! RED ROBIN (yelling) Because you guys are jerks? NIGHTWING Hey, I volunteered to be kidnapped this time! BATGIRL Oh, honey. We all know how that would play out. A communal GROAN emits from the batkids as they reminisce on the last time Dick volunteered to play kidnapped. RED HOOD I take it back, Wing's the dumb Robin NIGHTWING OKAY, first of all, not my fault- the fire was The batkids devolve into unintelligible BICKERING. To an outside observer, it would seem as Red Robin is yelling into darkness filled with disembodied voices. Henchman SPUTTERS, unable to form coherent words. HENCHMAN H-hey! You- You can't- ALL BATKIDS (yelling) Shut up! The henchman shuts his gaping mouth with the CLICK of his teeth HENCHΜΑΝ (talking to himself) I 'm not getting out of this, am 1? A pair of white eyes cut through the darkness behind him ΒΑΤΜAΝ No outoftheframework: outoftheframework: so a little fun tidbit about me is that i write screenplays. i challenged myself to write one in fifteen minutes, unedited, and then post it. this is what happened. enjoy? so so so thankful and in awe to the response to this post. I love screenwriting and it would be my pleasure to provide you guys with more high quality work in the future, y’all make me so happy.thank you :)
Jerks: gotham city
 by
 meg

 INT. WAREHOUSE
 NIGHT
 The discordant SCREECH of a wooden chair's being dragged
 across a concrete floor echoes through the spacious yet
 deserted warehouse. The tinted lights are dim, some
 flickering without any discernible pattern. A heavy pair of
 boots stomp rhythmically as an man makes his way across the
 room, the chair firmly in his grip. The man, a nameless
 HENCHMAN type, is who someone with manners would refer to
 as "burly" or "built."
 He stops underneath the brightest light in the room,
 setting the chair down and revealing its occupant. He is
 wearing
 a golden "RR" symbol decorating his chest. Despite the sack
 covering his features, one can still make out his raven
 hair poking out of the burlap fabric.
 a uniform of sorts, with black and red details plus
 HENCHMAN
 (gruff)
 Seems like the Batman... is losing
 his touch
 RED ROBIN's head twitches underneath the sack.
 RED ROBIN
 (muffled)
 Do I look like Batman to you?
 The henchman circles the teen like a
 tiger stalking its
 prey, if that tiger had one too many antelope dinners. He
 forces out a deep and planned LAUGH
 HENCHMAN
 No, no, no. Much too small, you
 are
 Red Robin shifts in his seat. Inaudible muffling can be
 heard from underneath the sack.
 HENCHMAN (CONT'D)
 Shhh, little bird. You must save
 your breath! Air will get spare
 quite soon.
 Henchman LAUGHS again, but this time his voice horribly
 cracks. He COUGHS quickly, but the damage was done. Red
 Robin shifts in his seat once more in the following
 uncomfortable silence.
 HENCHMAN (CONT'D)
 So tell me-

 2.
 Henchman tries to restore the tense atmosphere by slipping
 an obnoxiously sized syringe full of mysterious liquid out
 of a package hidden in his coat pocket.
 HENCHMAN (CONT'D)
 Where is the bat? My employer just
 wants to... chat.
 Red Robin drops his head to the side, effectively
 communicating
 a "bitch, please" without the spoken word.
 Henchman menacingly shakes his head as he stalks toward the
 teen
 HENCHMAN (CONT'D)
 I had a feeling you were the dumb
 robin
 A voice suddenly cuts through the heavy air.
 RED HOOD
 (from above)
 Damn right!
 The man drops the syringe in surprise, eliciting
 CRASH Red Robin perks up at the dialogue, using the hand
 that was supposedly tied to the splintering wooden chair to
 lift the sack from his head.
 a horrid
 RED ROBIN
 (yelling)
 I resent that!
 More bickering voices start to emerge from the darkened
 catwalk above the factory floor. The henchman stands
 stunned
 SPOILER
 Hey, don't say that!
 sensitive.
 He's
 ROBIN
 Weakest Robin, maybe. Getting
 himself kidnapped by this oaf?
 Disgraceful
 RED ROBIN
 (yelling)
 We literally planned this! It was
 your idea!
 Red Robin starts untying the ropes around his ankles.

 3.
 ROBIN
 Maybe there's a reason you're
 always playing kidnapped!
 RED ROBIN
 (yelling)
 Because you guys are
 jerks?
 NIGHTWING
 Hey, I volunteered to be kidnapped
 this time!
 BATGIRL
 Oh, honey. We all know how that
 would play out.
 A communal GROAN emits from the batkids as they reminisce
 on the last time Dick volunteered to play kidnapped.
 RED HOOD
 I take it back, Wing's the dumb
 Robin
 NIGHTWING
 OKAY, first of all,
 not my fault-
 the fire was
 The batkids devolve into unintelligible BICKERING. To an
 outside observer, it would seem as Red Robin is yelling
 into darkness filled with disembodied voices.
 Henchman SPUTTERS, unable to form coherent words.
 HENCHMAN
 H-hey! You- You can't-
 ALL BATKIDS
 (yelling)
 Shut up!
 The henchman shuts his gaping mouth with the CLICK of his
 teeth
 HENCHΜΑΝ
 (talking to himself)
 I 'm not getting out of this, am 1?
 A pair of white eyes cut through the darkness behind him
 ΒΑΤΜAΝ
 No
outoftheframework:

outoftheframework:
so a little fun tidbit about me is that i write screenplays. i challenged myself to write one in fifteen minutes, unedited, and then post it. this is what happened.

enjoy?

so so so thankful and in awe to the response to this post. I love screenwriting and it would be my pleasure to provide you guys with more high quality work in the future, y’all make me so happy.thank you :)

outoftheframework: outoftheframework: so a little fun tidbit about me is that i write screenplays. i challenged myself to write one in f...

Jerks: storlek: stephendann: words4bloghere: tealdeertamer: iconuk01: srsfunny: Wolves React To Gamekeeper Who Had Been Away On Maternity Leave “WHERE’S YOUR PUPPY! WE WANNA SEE YOUR PUPPY! DID YOU JUST HAVE THE ONE? DO YOU HAVE THEM WITH YOU? ARE THERE PHOTOS?” I’m not a hundred percent positive but I’m pretty sure this is the wild life center where I visited wolves. And the safety briefing included the question “So if you’re pregnant, do you want to know or not?” Turns out there had been a bit of an awkward situation once where the keepers had casually mentioned a woman’s pregnancy in a group, and she herself didn’t even know yet. Turns out the wolves are excellent at telling if you’re pregnant and the keepers can tell based on their body language.  They get all odd and careful around pregnancy. (Even wolves knows that you have to take care of pregnant people.) So they definitely knew she was pregnant. And if I remember my BBC documentaries right, a wolf will leave the pack to give birth and introduce the cubs to the pack once she feels ready for it. And maternity leave is flexible but often around 6 months so they’re going “YOU WERE GONE FOREVER! WE WERE SO WORRIED! WHERE ARE THE CUBS?? WE HAVE TO GREET THE CUBS!!“  Also the two on her back are fighting over who gets to greet her first. Giving and receiving attention is a commodity that goes by hierarchy and if you don’t accept that there will be scuffles.. The wolf lying down next to her isn’t chill about her coming back, it’s just submissive to the other wolves and waiting for it’s turn to show excitement. Now I can see why we domesticated these adorable jerks. Wolf packs have maternity leave? Wolves: better than American companies.
Jerks: storlek:
stephendann:

words4bloghere:

tealdeertamer:

iconuk01:

srsfunny:
Wolves React To Gamekeeper Who Had Been Away On Maternity Leave
“WHERE’S YOUR PUPPY! WE WANNA SEE YOUR PUPPY! DID YOU JUST HAVE THE ONE? DO YOU HAVE THEM WITH YOU? ARE THERE PHOTOS?”

I’m not a hundred percent positive but I’m pretty sure this is the wild life center where I visited wolves.
And the safety briefing included the question “So if you’re pregnant, do you want to know or not?” 
Turns out there had been a bit of an awkward situation once where the keepers had casually mentioned a woman’s pregnancy in a group, and she herself didn’t even know yet. Turns out the wolves are excellent at telling if you’re pregnant and the keepers can tell based on their body language.  They get all odd and careful around pregnancy. (Even wolves knows that you have to take care of pregnant people.) 
So they definitely knew she was pregnant. 
And if I remember my BBC documentaries right, a wolf will leave the pack to give birth and introduce the cubs to the pack once she feels ready for it. And maternity leave is flexible but often around 6 months so they’re going “YOU WERE GONE FOREVER! WE WERE SO WORRIED! WHERE ARE THE CUBS?? WE HAVE TO GREET THE CUBS!!“ 
Also the two on her back are fighting over who gets to greet her first. Giving and receiving attention is a commodity that goes by hierarchy and if you don’t accept that there will be scuffles.. The wolf lying down next to her isn’t chill about her coming back, it’s just submissive to the other wolves and waiting for it’s turn to show excitement.

Now I can see why we domesticated these adorable jerks.

Wolf packs have maternity leave?

Wolves: better than American companies.

storlek: stephendann: words4bloghere: tealdeertamer: iconuk01: srsfunny: Wolves React To Gamekeeper Who Had Been Away On Maternity Le...

Jerks: Your insolence goes too far Wrong It can go a lot further silentwalrus1: #Steve is a bottomless well of insolence #just waiting for foolhardy jerks to throw in a bucket (tags fom @galwednesday) 
Jerks: Your insolence
 goes too far

 Wrong
 It can go a lot further
silentwalrus1:

 #Steve is a bottomless well of insolence #just waiting for foolhardy jerks to throw in a bucket (tags fom @galwednesday) 

silentwalrus1: #Steve is a bottomless well of insolence #just waiting for foolhardy jerks to throw in a bucket (tags fom @galwednesday) 

Jerks: srsfunny:Everyone Blames Cats But Dogs Can Be Jerks Too
Jerks: srsfunny:Everyone Blames Cats But Dogs Can Be Jerks Too

srsfunny:Everyone Blames Cats But Dogs Can Be Jerks Too

Jerks: ALEX DE CAMP RO STEIN TED B RANDT DE E CUNNIF FE THANKS FOR COMING ALONG, FRANK. IT MEANS S'FINE, BARNES. IM NOT EXACTW OVERBURDEN印 WITH HOLIDA COMMITMENTS ン) AND I'M TRIUWN, DEEPLY SOR2N FOR EVERY THING THAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN HAPPY^ HANUKKAH! HENRY! HERE, AND A FRIEND! GET IN S IT A FRIEND FRIEND, OR JUST A FRIEND? FREEINGUES BROUGHT OUT! HOW'S STEVE? WHAT THE...? HES BUS DOING CHARITY aALAS THIS TIME OF YEAR. DIDNT REALY ASK, WHN DON'T YOu BECAUSE GO TO FANCN GALAS? |Y WHEN I SHOW UP Nou'D Look aREAT /T ONE, PEOPLE JOSH. You ARE.? IN A TuX FUSED. ASSUME SOMEONE'S GONNA DIE THAT'S NONSENSE! IT'S BEEN AGES SINCE NOuVE KIuE ANNONE. THOUGHT HE WAS RISH CATHOUC ITS BEEN FOUR VAYS MY DAD WAS CATHOuc. MY MA WAS JENISH. SISTER BECCA MARRIEN A JEWISH GUN. I'M JEWISH- ADJACENT YOu'RE A JEW! THEN HAD LEAH. SHES THE Ow LADN IN THE KITCHEN D WHO'S GONNA FEED You LATKEs uNTIレ NOU EXPLODE. HENIRN! STOP IT! SPEAKING OF LEAH, SuE HAS AU SORTS OF FAMI STORIES ABOuT BuCKN AS A KID I SPEAK HEBREN BECAUSE EVIL SCIENCE NAZIS IMPLANTEN IT IN MN BZAIN, ALONG WITH 18 OTHER ANGUAGES. HIM DECIDE urs FOR HIMSELF. THERE TO DECIDE? HIS MOM WAS JEWISH, HE SPEAKS HEBREW HE'S A JEW. NO FAIR! ARE THERE PHOTOS? HAVE To Go To STUPIDEBREW SCHCOレ. CAN I GET EVIL SCIENCE NAZIS TO No FINE Look, Kiv. WE DONT GET MANN WERE KEEPING SUPERHEROS.A NOu, AND TO HEL CMON THERE ARE WHOLE ALBUMS. WITH THE FINE PRINT I'M NOT A HERO BulL SURVIVED. EVERYTHING NOu SURVIvEv, AND NOURE STIU A GOOD PERSON LIGHT aO OUT, EVEN WHEN AL WAS DARKENEN WHEN AND TERRIBLE AROUND NOu. YOu HAD NOTHING LEFT TO KEEP IT aOING THIS IS NO SMA ACHIEVEMENT. ift HENRN.. GO GET A SHAMMASH IT'S TIME. HKMC is a work of satire by Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi), Ro Stein (@RosyTintedSpecs), Ted Brandt (@ten_bandits) and Dee Cunniffe (@Deezoid). All characters (c) Marvel Comics. I wasn't going to write any more of these, but then the Pitsburgh Syna gogue shooting happened and I got real, real mad. Friends: the hate you walk past is the hate you accept. Fight Anti-Semitism wherever you see it, whenever, no matter how small. Great evil starts out as little "jokes" people ignore. Don't be an ignorer. (Thanks also to Menachem and Brina for checking everything over, and sour cream is the one true latke topping don't @ me.) jhscdood: alexdecampi: Happy Hanukkah, everyone, from these two jerks! I’m posting this a little early this year. Line art by the amazing Ro Stein Ted Brandt, and colour art by @deecunniffe.  I want to point out what a technical achievement this story is on the art side. There’s a real joy to creating a whole story in eight panels, but this? This is some magic. We introduce four new characters. In panel 5, SIX PEOPLE are talking. SIX. In the world of comics, that’s almost un-doable.  Yet Ro and Ted arranged everything so the conversations flow and are sensibly grouped, all the “acting” is fantastic, and then Dee laid on top these beautiful, almost fairytale colours – look at the subtle work, the blush in Henry’s cheeks, Frank’s five o-clock shadow, the shine of the wine bottle’s glass surface, the light texturing in the backgrounds… and of course the snow! This is some first-class illustration work on an incredibly hard script. (I fear Ro and Ted always get me at my worst – my very formalist script for them in the 24 Panels anthology was no cakewalk either. (The problem is, they’re just so damn good at it… check out their work on the Image comic Crowded!) As always, if you like what we do in Hells Kitchen Movie Club, consider donating a little to a veteran’s charity.  (I also have a thriller novel I’m crowdfunding, please check it out, we are more than halfway there. The book is all written…) Previously in Hell: cover image // 01 // 02 // 03 // Xmas // 04 // 05 // 06 // 07 // Hanukkah // That time the Punisher’s creator gave us a thumbs-up // twitter // insta I AM CRYING THIS IS GORGEOUS
Jerks: ALEX DE CAMP RO STEIN TED B
 RANDT DE E CUNNIF FE
 THANKS FOR
 COMING ALONG,
 FRANK. IT MEANS
 S'FINE, BARNES.
 IM NOT EXACTW
 OVERBURDEN印
 WITH HOLIDA
 COMMITMENTS
 ン)
 AND I'M
 TRIUWN, DEEPLY
 SOR2N FOR EVERY
 THING THAT'S ABOUT
 TO HAPPEN
 HAPPY^
 HANUKKAH!
 HENRY!
 HERE, AND
 A FRIEND!
 GET IN
 S IT
 A FRIEND
 FRIEND, OR
 JUST A
 FRIEND?
 FREEINGUES BROUGHT
 OUT!
 HOW'S
 STEVE?
 WHAT
 THE...?
 HES BUS
 DOING CHARITY
 aALAS THIS TIME
 OF YEAR.
 DIDNT
 REALY ASK,
 WHN DON'T YOu
 BECAUSE
 GO TO FANCN GALAS? |Y WHEN I SHOW UP
 Nou'D Look aREAT /T ONE, PEOPLE
 JOSH. You
 ARE.?
 IN A TuX
 FUSED.
 ASSUME SOMEONE'S
 GONNA DIE
 THAT'S
 NONSENSE!
 IT'S BEEN
 AGES SINCE
 NOuVE KIuE
 ANNONE.
 THOUGHT
 HE WAS RISH
 CATHOUC
 ITS BEEN
 FOUR VAYS
 MY DAD WAS
 CATHOuc. MY MA
 WAS JENISH.
 SISTER BECCA
 MARRIEN A
 JEWISH GUN.
 I'M JEWISH-
 ADJACENT
 YOu'RE
 A JEW!
 THEN HAD
 LEAH. SHES THE Ow
 LADN IN THE KITCHEN D
 WHO'S GONNA FEED
 You LATKEs uNTIレ
 NOU EXPLODE.

 HENIRN! STOP IT!
 SPEAKING OF
 LEAH, SuE HAS AU
 SORTS OF FAMI
 STORIES ABOuT
 BuCKN AS A KID
 I SPEAK HEBREN
 BECAUSE EVIL SCIENCE
 NAZIS IMPLANTEN IT
 IN MN BZAIN, ALONG
 WITH 18 OTHER
 ANGUAGES.
 HIM DECIDE
 urs
 FOR HIMSELF.
 THERE TO
 DECIDE?
 HIS MOM
 WAS JEWISH, HE
 SPEAKS HEBREW
 HE'S A JEW.
 NO
 FAIR!
 ARE THERE
 PHOTOS?
 HAVE
 To Go To
 STUPIDEBREW
 SCHCOレ.
 CAN I GET
 EVIL SCIENCE
 NAZIS TO
 No
 FINE
 Look, Kiv. WE
 DONT GET MANN WERE KEEPING
 SUPERHEROS.A NOu, AND TO HEL
 CMON
 THERE
 ARE WHOLE
 ALBUMS.
 WITH THE FINE
 PRINT
 I'M NOT
 A HERO
 BulL
 SURVIVED. EVERYTHING
 NOu SURVIvEv,
 AND NOURE STIU
 A GOOD PERSON
 LIGHT aO OUT, EVEN
 WHEN AL WAS DARKENEN WHEN
 AND TERRIBLE
 AROUND NOu.
 YOu HAD NOTHING
 LEFT TO KEEP IT
 aOING
 THIS IS
 NO SMA
 ACHIEVEMENT.
 ift
 HENRN..
 GO GET A
 SHAMMASH
 IT'S TIME.
 HKMC is a work of satire by Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi), Ro Stein (@RosyTintedSpecs), Ted Brandt (@ten_bandits) and Dee
 Cunniffe (@Deezoid). All characters (c) Marvel Comics. I wasn't going to write any more of these, but then the Pitsburgh Syna
 gogue shooting happened and I got real, real mad. Friends: the hate you walk past is the hate you accept. Fight Anti-Semitism
 wherever you see it, whenever, no matter how small. Great evil starts out as little "jokes" people ignore. Don't be an ignorer.
 (Thanks also to Menachem and Brina for checking everything over, and sour cream is the one true latke topping don't @ me.)
jhscdood:
alexdecampi:

Happy Hanukkah, everyone, from these two jerks! I’m posting this a little early this year. Line art by the amazing Ro Stein  Ted Brandt, and colour art by @deecunniffe. 
I want to point out what a technical achievement this story is on the art side. There’s a real joy to creating a whole story in eight panels, but this? This is some magic. We introduce four new characters. In panel 5, SIX PEOPLE are talking. SIX. In the world of comics, that’s almost un-doable. 
Yet Ro and Ted arranged everything so the conversations flow and are sensibly grouped, all the “acting” is fantastic, and then Dee laid on top these beautiful, almost fairytale colours – look at the subtle work, the blush in Henry’s cheeks, Frank’s five o-clock shadow, the shine of the wine bottle’s glass surface, the light texturing in the backgrounds… and of course the snow! This is some first-class illustration work on an incredibly hard script. (I fear Ro and Ted always get me at my worst – my very formalist script for them in the 24 Panels anthology was no cakewalk either. (The problem is, they’re just so damn good at it… check out their work on the Image comic Crowded!)
As always, if you like what we do in Hells Kitchen Movie Club, consider donating a little to a veteran’s charity. 
(I also have a thriller novel I’m crowdfunding, please check it out, we are more than halfway there. The book is all written…)
Previously in Hell: cover image // 01 // 02 // 03 // Xmas // 04 // 05 // 06 // 07 // Hanukkah // That time the Punisher’s creator gave us a thumbs-up // twitter // insta


I AM CRYING THIS IS GORGEOUS

jhscdood: alexdecampi: Happy Hanukkah, everyone, from these two jerks! I’m posting this a little early this year. Line art by the amazin...