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    Af, Ass, and Big Dick: fleur-cannnon:

afairlypudgycat:

whiskeyworen:

jaxblade:

norseminuteman:

red-faced-wolf:

kasaron:


bears-for-the-bear-god:

the-goddamn-doomguy:

captainsnoop:
big dick energy
Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans.


This is genuinely beyond big dick energy

Itā€™s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE)


Holy shit 

Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT.Ā 
Also I love how they donā€™t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while heā€™s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.Ā Ā 

ALPHA AF!!!

I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dudeā€™s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go.For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his ā€œā€¦Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.ā€Then that poor marine. ā€œHey YOU! You canā€™tā€¦ beā€¦ hereā€¦ā€ DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesnā€™t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like ā€œYou are doing a fine job. Thatā€™s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*ā€Itā€™s as if heā€™s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic.Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isnā€™t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. Heā€™s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCHā€¦ that heā€™s calm. Heā€™s so far beyond wrath at the demons that heā€™s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesnā€™t grunt, he doesnā€™t yell, he doesnā€™t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, itā€™ll bleed like the last. He doesnā€™t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; itā€™s a function of existence for him.

Doomguy dissociating 100% of the time


Within the first few minutes of Doom 2016 and throughout much of the remainder of the game itā€™s clear that Doomguy values human life A LOT. Humans are never his enemy, itā€™s the demons. He looks at the dead man in the elevator as Hayden says something along the lines of ā€œI swear it was for the greater good.ā€ Doomguy sees right in front of him it wasnā€™t, and I betcha right then Doomguy was against Hayden. Doomguy doesnā€™t take kindly to crimes against humanity, even if accidental.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Af, Ass, and Big Dick: fleur-cannnon:

afairlypudgycat:

whiskeyworen:

jaxblade:

norseminuteman:

red-faced-wolf:

kasaron:


bears-for-the-bear-god:

the-goddamn-doomguy:

captainsnoop:
big dick energy
Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans.


This is genuinely beyond big dick energy

Itā€™s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE)


Holy shit 

Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT.Ā 
Also I love how they donā€™t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while heā€™s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.Ā Ā 

ALPHA AF!!!

I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dudeā€™s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go.For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his ā€œā€¦Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.ā€Then that poor marine. ā€œHey YOU! You canā€™tā€¦ beā€¦ hereā€¦ā€ DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesnā€™t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like ā€œYou are doing a fine job. Thatā€™s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*ā€Itā€™s as if heā€™s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic.Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isnā€™t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. Heā€™s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCHā€¦ that heā€™s calm. Heā€™s so far beyond wrath at the demons that heā€™s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesnā€™t grunt, he doesnā€™t yell, he doesnā€™t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, itā€™ll bleed like the last. He doesnā€™t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; itā€™s a function of existence for him.

Doomguy dissociating 100% of the time


Within the first few minutes of Doom 2016 and throughout much of the remainder of the game itā€™s clear that Doomguy values human life A LOT. Humans are never his enemy, itā€™s the demons. He looks at the dead man in the elevator as Hayden says something along the lines of ā€œI swear it was for the greater good.ā€ Doomguy sees right in front of him it wasnā€™t, and I betcha right then Doomguy was against Hayden. Doomguy doesnā€™t take kindly to crimes against humanity, even if accidental.
                
                

                
            

            
            
fleur-cannnon:

afairlypudgycat:

whiskeyworen:

jaxblade:

norseminuteman:

red-faced-wolf:

kasaron:


bears-for-the-bear-god:

the-goddam...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Facebook, Fanta, and Job Interview: Remember, every question is a test so when
 they say "How are you?" reply "Goal ori
 tated, thank you."
 Make a point of mentioning you failed Reli-
 gious Studies and say The only thing I wor-
 ship is productivity." 2 thumbs up.
 Show you're good at delegating respon
 bility by sending someone else to the in
 terview
 Employers check Facebook accounts so
 make sure all your photos show you looking
 at a spreadsheet and punching the air.
 Always make eye contact and if you have
 two interviewers, train your eyes to
 work independently like a chameleon.
 Tell them you're not an applicƔnt, you're a
 appliCAN. Lick your finger, hold it against
 buttock. Make sizzling noise.
 When asked why you'd be suited to the job,
 pass an ancient scroll along the desk& say
 It was foretold." Stare at them.
 If you're meeting 3 interviewers, bring in a 4
 finger Kitkat. Take charge of di
 ng
 Kitkat to emphasise leadership.
 If asked where you see yourself in 5 yrs
 time, tip them out of their chair, sit on it &
 say 'Here'. Break open a Fanta.
 At the beginning, try to make small talk
 with your interviewer such as "lovely day!"
 or "you look like my real father.
 When asked to describe yourself in 5 words
 say "Atrocious counting skills". Laugh. Open
 packet of Mini Eggs.
 When asked if you found the place OK, say
 I was driven here by cab. Normally of
 course I'm driven by results!" 4 winks
 Know the interviewer's name and use it
 during the interview. If you're not sure
 what it is, call them Jobsy" or "Jobbo".
 THE META PICTURE
awesomesthesia:

Some Good Job Interview Tips
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
nsfw

        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Facebook, Fanta, and Job Interview: Remember, every question is a test so when
 they say "How are you?" reply "Goal ori
 tated, thank you."
 Make a point of mentioning you failed Reli-
 gious Studies and say The only thing I wor-
 ship is productivity." 2 thumbs up.
 Show you're good at delegating respon
 bility by sending someone else to the in
 terview
 Employers check Facebook accounts so
 make sure all your photos show you looking
 at a spreadsheet and punching the air.
 Always make eye contact and if you have
 two interviewers, train your eyes to
 work independently like a chameleon.
 Tell them you're not an applicƔnt, you're a
 appliCAN. Lick your finger, hold it against
 buttock. Make sizzling noise.
 When asked why you'd be suited to the job,
 pass an ancient scroll along the desk& say
 It was foretold." Stare at them.
 If you're meeting 3 interviewers, bring in a 4
 finger Kitkat. Take charge of di
 ng
 Kitkat to emphasise leadership.
 If asked where you see yourself in 5 yrs
 time, tip them out of their chair, sit on it &
 say 'Here'. Break open a Fanta.
 At the beginning, try to make small talk
 with your interviewer such as "lovely day!"
 or "you look like my real father.
 When asked to describe yourself in 5 words
 say "Atrocious counting skills". Laugh. Open
 packet of Mini Eggs.
 When asked if you found the place OK, say
 I was driven here by cab. Normally of
 course I'm driven by results!" 4 winks
 Know the interviewer's name and use it
 during the interview. If you're not sure
 what it is, call them Jobsy" or "Jobbo".
 THE META PICTURE
awesomesthesia:

Some Good Job Interview Tips
                
            

            
            
awesomesthesia:

Some Good Job Interview Tips