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Bluetooth, Bored, and Cars: x 0 42%. 12:29 Toyota Avalon-cars & truc. https://louisville.craigslist.org Toyota Avalon - $1800 (Louisville, KY) image 1 of 6 "You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no ther willever compliment you on? further The 1999 Toyota Avalon. Let's talk about features. Bluetooth: nope 101. 42%. 12:30 Aux cord: nope Fancv wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day it started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the watera thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right ujp This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey. 10. 42%. 12:30 Toyota Avalon - cars & truc... https://louisville.craigslist.org color is grey. In the owner's manual, oll is listed as"optional. When this car was unveiled at the Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentarv "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Avalon" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survev Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle- of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert, It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills. When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Toyota. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Tovota Avalon." This Craigslist car ad doesn't care about what you want. It knows what you need.
Bluetooth, Bored, and Cars: x 0
 42%. 12:29
 Toyota Avalon-cars & truc.
 https://louisville.craigslist.org
 Toyota Avalon - $1800 (Louisville,
 KY)
 image 1 of 6
 "You want a car that gets the job done? You want a
 car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally
 literally
 no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no
 ther willever compliment you on?
 further
 The 1999 Toyota Avalon.
 Let's talk about features.
 Bluetooth: nope

 101.
 42%. 12:30
 Aux cord: nope
 Fancv wheels: nope
 Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent
 rear window and you have a fucking neck that can
 turn
 Let me tell you a story. One day it started making a
 strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It
 went away. The End
 You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off
 the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the watera
 thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car,
 fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and
 this puppy would fucking start right ujp
 This car will outlive you, it will outlive your
 children
 Things this car is old enough to do:
 Vote: yes
 Consent to sex: ves
 Rent a car: it IS a car
 This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People
 have done straight things in this car. People have
 done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge
 you like a fucking Volkswagen would
 Interesting facts
 This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior
 color is grey.

 10.
 42%. 12:30
 Toyota Avalon - cars & truc...
 https://louisville.craigslist.org
 color is grey.
 In the owner's manual, oll is listed as"optional.
 When this car was unveiled at the Detroit Auto
 Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to
 spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change
 in air pressure inside the building caused a partial
 collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is
 chronicled in the documentarv "Bored to Death:
 The Story of the 1999 Toyota Avalon"
 You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out
 a Facebook survev
 Favorite food: spaghetti
 Favorite tv show: Alf
 Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin
 Blossoms
 This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-
 of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver
 Alert, It's as utilitarian as a member of a church
 whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.
 When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a
 single piece of paper that said, "It's a Toyota. It's
 fine."
 Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any
 beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to
 yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the
 car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking
 1999 Tovota Avalon."
This Craigslist car ad doesn't care about what you want. It knows what you need.

This Craigslist car ad doesn't care about what you want. It knows what you need.

Blessed, Crying, and Sorry: @oscarewilde i received this comically large pencil asa gift several years ago and my first thought, understandably, was 'what the christ am i meant to do with this?" 工@oscarewilde. 1d the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With This. And so a while ago i took it in with me to a lecture, hoping against hope that whichever poor Fool was unfortunate enough to sit next to me might have forgotten or misplaced their writing implement 3 0458 8,741 工@oscarewilde. 1d utilising The Pencil is also dependent on the person not using a laptop. So the chances of success are extraordinarily slim, and I've only managed to find suitable candidates three times in all of the dozens of occasions i've had The Pencil on my person 3 I @oscarewilde 1d i size up my target, watching them feign patting their pockets in vain for the ballpoint they so obviously left at home, and i wait, i wait for the blessed question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could Borrow? I @oscarewilde .1d 'Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a pencil.' 'That's fine!' i hear them say, distantly now, as the blood is rushing to my ears and i can barely hear them. I maintain a straight face. This is key to the delivery and the final blow 5 633 13.8K @oscarewilde 1d I reach into my bag for The Pencil. The look of utter dumbfounded misery as i hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker through the 5 stages of grief, landing on acceptance, as they realise it's This or Nothing 7 834 14.8K @oscarewilde 10 they Always take the pencil 67 2,088 33.5K <p><a href="http://prideprejudce.tumblr.com/post/175880112996/she-weaponized-her-gag-gift-im-crying" class="tumblr_blog">prideprejudce</a>:</p><blockquote><p>she weaponized her gag gift im crying</p></blockquote>
Blessed, Crying, and Sorry: @oscarewilde
 i received this comically large pencil asa
 gift several years ago and my first
 thought, understandably, was 'what the
 christ am i meant to do with this?"

 工@oscarewilde. 1d
 the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite
 Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With
 This. And so a while ago i took it in with
 me to a lecture, hoping against hope that
 whichever poor Fool was unfortunate
 enough to sit next to me might have
 forgotten or misplaced their writing
 implement
 3
 0458 8,741
 工@oscarewilde. 1d
 utilising The Pencil is also dependent on
 the person not using a laptop. So the
 chances of success are extraordinarily
 slim, and I've only managed to find
 suitable candidates three times in all of
 the dozens of occasions i've had The
 Pencil on my person
 3
 I @oscarewilde 1d
 i size up my target, watching them feign
 patting their pockets in vain for the
 ballpoint they so obviously left at home,
 and i wait, i wait for the blessed
 question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could
 Borrow?

 I @oscarewilde .1d
 'Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a
 pencil.' 'That's fine!' i hear them say,
 distantly now, as the blood is rushing to
 my ears and i can barely hear them. I
 maintain a straight face. This is key to
 the delivery and the final blow
 5
 633
 13.8K
 @oscarewilde 1d
 I reach into my bag for The Pencil. The
 look of utter dumbfounded misery as i
 hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its
 sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker
 through the 5 stages of grief, landing on
 acceptance, as they realise it's This or
 Nothing
 7
 834
 14.8K

 @oscarewilde 10
 they Always take the pencil
 67
 2,088
 33.5K
<p><a href="http://prideprejudce.tumblr.com/post/175880112996/she-weaponized-her-gag-gift-im-crying" class="tumblr_blog">prideprejudce</a>:</p><blockquote><p>she weaponized her gag gift im crying</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://prideprejudce.tumblr.com/post/175880112996/she-weaponized-her-gag-gift-im-crying" class="tumblr_blog">prideprejudce</a>:<...

Blessed, Crying, and Sorry: @oscarewilde i received this comically large pencil asa gift several years ago and my first thought, understandably, was 'what the christ am i meant to do with this?" 工@oscarewilde. 1d the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With This. And so a while ago i took it in with me to a lecture, hoping against hope that whichever poor Fool was unfortunate enough to sit next to me might have forgotten or misplaced their writing implement 3 0458 8,741 工@oscarewilde. 1d utilising The Pencil is also dependent on the person not using a laptop. So the chances of success are extraordinarily slim, and I've only managed to find suitable candidates three times in all of the dozens of occasions i've had The Pencil on my person 3 I @oscarewilde 1d i size up my target, watching them feign patting their pockets in vain for the ballpoint they so obviously left at home, and i wait, i wait for the blessed question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could Borrow? I @oscarewilde .1d 'Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a pencil.' 'That's fine!' i hear them say, distantly now, as the blood is rushing to my ears and i can barely hear them. I maintain a straight face. This is key to the delivery and the final blow 5 633 13.8K @oscarewilde 1d I reach into my bag for The Pencil. The look of utter dumbfounded misery as i hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker through the 5 stages of grief, landing on acceptance, as they realise it's This or Nothing 7 834 14.8K @oscarewilde 10 they Always take the pencil 67 2,088 33.5K <p><a href="http://prideprejudce.tumblr.com/post/175880112996/she-weaponized-her-gag-gift-im-crying" class="tumblr_blog">prideprejudce</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>she weaponized her gag gift im crying</p></blockquote>
Blessed, Crying, and Sorry: @oscarewilde
 i received this comically large pencil asa
 gift several years ago and my first
 thought, understandably, was 'what the
 christ am i meant to do with this?"

 工@oscarewilde. 1d
 the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite
 Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With
 This. And so a while ago i took it in with
 me to a lecture, hoping against hope that
 whichever poor Fool was unfortunate
 enough to sit next to me might have
 forgotten or misplaced their writing
 implement
 3
 0458 8,741
 工@oscarewilde. 1d
 utilising The Pencil is also dependent on
 the person not using a laptop. So the
 chances of success are extraordinarily
 slim, and I've only managed to find
 suitable candidates three times in all of
 the dozens of occasions i've had The
 Pencil on my person
 3
 I @oscarewilde 1d
 i size up my target, watching them feign
 patting their pockets in vain for the
 ballpoint they so obviously left at home,
 and i wait, i wait for the blessed
 question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could
 Borrow?

 I @oscarewilde .1d
 'Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a
 pencil.' 'That's fine!' i hear them say,
 distantly now, as the blood is rushing to
 my ears and i can barely hear them. I
 maintain a straight face. This is key to
 the delivery and the final blow
 5
 633
 13.8K
 @oscarewilde 1d
 I reach into my bag for The Pencil. The
 look of utter dumbfounded misery as i
 hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its
 sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker
 through the 5 stages of grief, landing on
 acceptance, as they realise it's This or
 Nothing
 7
 834
 14.8K

 @oscarewilde 10
 they Always take the pencil
 67
 2,088
 33.5K
<p><a href="http://prideprejudce.tumblr.com/post/175880112996/she-weaponized-her-gag-gift-im-crying" class="tumblr_blog">prideprejudce</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>she weaponized her gag gift im crying</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://prideprejudce.tumblr.com/post/175880112996/she-weaponized-her-gag-gift-im-crying" class="tumblr_blog">prideprejudce</a>:<...