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Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO CRASH-LAND A PLANE ON WATER These instructions apply to small passenger propeller planes (not commercial airliners). 1 Take your place at the controls. If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your seat belt. 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call for help. There will be a control button on the yoke (the plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give your situation, destination, and plane call numbers (which should be printed on the top of the instru- ment panel). If you get no response, try again on the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the other end should be able to talk you through proper landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to talk you through the landing process, you will have to do it alone. beading airspeed indicator altimeter fuel gauge yoke throttle landing gear 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments. YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up, push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the nose of the plane should be about three inches below the horizon. ф awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO CRASH-LAND A PLANE ON WATER These instructions apply to small passenger propeller planes (not commercial airliners). 1 Take your place at the controls. If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your seat belt. 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call for help. There will be a control button on the yoke (the plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give your situation, destination, and plane call numbers (which should be printed on the top of the instru- ment panel). If you get no response, try again on the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the other end should be able to talk you through proper landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to talk you through the landing process, you will have to do it alone. beading airspeed indicator altimeter fuel gauge yoke throttle landing gear 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments. YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up, push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the nose of the plane should be about three inches below the horizon. ф awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO CRASH-LAND A PLANE ON WATER These instructions apply to small passenger propeller planes (not commercial airliners). 1 Take your place at the controls. If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your seat belt. 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call for help. There will be a control button on the yoke (the plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give your situation, destination, and plane call numbers (which should be printed on the top of the instru- ment panel). If you get no response, try again on the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the other end should be able to talk you through proper landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to talk you through the landing process, you will have to do it alone. beading airspeed indicator altimeter fuel gauge yoke throttle landing gear 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments. YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up, push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the nose of the plane should be about three inches below the horizon. ф awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Books, Doctor, and Elf: can p 2.25, Indexes 1-9 (in case Fava his Own they aver do that was worth remembering? I mean, Doctor Doom is okay, but, ke, he's no Spinerette, eh?) 3000.00 1-3, 18.00, 4-6, 19.00 (does anybody really care? I mean these are just warmed over Kull stories, nght? Or is it Kull who's warmed over Conan? I can never remember.) 100-103, 10.00, 104-106, 11.00, 107-109, 12.00, 110-125, 13.00 100-103, 10.00, 104-106, 11.00, 107-109, 12.00, 110-125 13 00 100-103 realy Sne pleats nightin there the book That's what Fm askin' you ELEKTRA ASSASSIN 1-4, lots and lots of money ELFQUEST you haven't memorized everything yet), 1.25, set 1-9, 10.00, Chronicles (1982) 1.50 AVENGERS 1, forget it! Even if I had one I wouldn't sell it to you. 2. Are you kidding? After the lame offers you made for the old Spider-Man stuff? 3, no way, Jose. 4, And you can forget this one altogether! (Captain Amenica) 5. m goin' straight to the recent stuff again. 140, WHAT...2 HOW...5 150, 2.50, 151, 153, 154, 8.00 (no reason) 200-202, 6, manbe 7 upks a piece. 203, Man 100-1 104-106 1-present, 1,00.00-se9, the ORDERING INSTRUCTIONS: This sd expirem 12.00 110 (1) All orders must be mailed in, temized Derek and/or Kate Smth in the nude We w ont have to This is cur ad so we play by ur e wolves died, and Richard and Wendy got evicted and we need to raise money for (2) Minimum mail order s $1000 00 Why sho them. In fact, don't even buy the sport or something? You thirk we lke comic the comics, just call paying for them, we're out ot here 1-800-ELF-HELP and plecge (3) You must have a street address as wete iocal comic acednact Youm DON'T ASK QUESTIONS! WE'RE HEAVILY INTO THE ZEN SH-SHE-HULK! IT ONLY WORKS IFPOD o YOU DON'T a FOLLOW ME, anG NOW sAndm CON WHERE CHA S THIS 1-6 this ge Comprend RYSTA ! A ha! Hal Ha! Ha! Ha! !Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! to kno ALL OF THINK ABOUT IT!Foreign ak Ou that Canadiaihro PLACE 2/You wa F COMIC BOOKS A Your non y and youd ge at the Mint get a Spi 99211 213, 215, oing to stop HERE for every last FTCKen I'm gonna start jacking up the prices on every book that has the High Evolutionary in it! In fact, I'm gonna jack up the prices on books that even use the "evolution!" 100-103, 1 104-106, 11.00, 107- that stuff? Somebo pay for it! 10.00, 104-10 11.00 110-125 10.00 07-109. 3.00 104-106, S.12.00, $00 100-103. 107 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! a! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha al Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! You Want this? ewhole set, 18.00 15 12.00, 110-125, 13 Y0-125 T09 3.00 100-103-10.00. 04-106, 11.00, 107-109 00, 110-125, 13.00 03, 10.00, 104-106 107-109, 12.00, 5, 13.00 100-103, 104-106, 11.00, 109, 12.00, 110-125 .00 100-103, 10.00 04-106, 11.00: 107-109 00, 110-125, 13.00 ( 100-103, 10.00, 10 11.00, 107-109, 17 110-125, 13.00 10.00, 104-106 107-109, 12.00 EVIL re they still printing e? I thought they celled it after Miller left. I Ner cared for it much nyway. Expect for the hiddle period.. You know? When he was fighting, like, aliens and stuff? Now that was comics! 100-103, 10.00, 125. 00 07-109, T125, 13.00 03, 10.00, 104-106. 1.00, 107-109, 12.00, 110-125, 13.0O 100-103. 13.001 104 TU125, 13.00 (yeah, I know the price is supposed to go 24 Don’t think about it.
Books, Doctor, and Elf: can p
 2.25, Indexes 1-9 (in case
 Fava his Own
 they aver do that was worth
 remembering? I mean,
 Doctor Doom is okay, but,
 ke, he's no Spinerette, eh?)
 3000.00
 1-3, 18.00, 4-6, 19.00 (does
 anybody really care? I mean
 these are just warmed over
 Kull stories, nght? Or is it
 Kull who's warmed over
 Conan? I can never
 remember.) 100-103, 10.00,
 104-106, 11.00, 107-109,
 12.00, 110-125, 13.00
 100-103, 10.00, 104-106,
 11.00, 107-109, 12.00,
 110-125 13 00 100-103
 realy Sne
 pleats nightin
 there the
 book
 That's what Fm askin' you
 ELEKTRA ASSASSIN
 1-4, lots and lots of money
 ELFQUEST
 you haven't memorized
 everything yet), 1.25, set 1-9,
 10.00, Chronicles (1982)
 1.50
 AVENGERS
 1, forget it! Even if I had one I
 wouldn't sell it to you. 2. Are
 you kidding? After the lame
 offers you made for the old
 Spider-Man stuff? 3, no way,
 Jose. 4, And you can forget
 this one altogether! (Captain
 Amenica) 5. m goin' straight
 to the recent stuff again. 140, WHAT...2 HOW...5
 150, 2.50, 151, 153, 154,
 8.00 (no reason) 200-202, 6,
 manbe 7 upks a piece. 203,
 Man 100-1
 104-106
 1-present, 1,00.00-se9, the ORDERING INSTRUCTIONS: This sd expirem
 12.00 110
 (1) All orders must be mailed in, temized
 Derek and/or Kate Smth in the nude We w
 ont have to This is cur ad so we play by ur e
 wolves died, and Richard
 and Wendy got evicted and
 we need to raise money for
 (2) Minimum mail order s $1000 00 Why sho
 them. In fact, don't even buy the sport or something? You thirk we lke comic
 the comics, just call
 paying for them, we're out ot here
 1-800-ELF-HELP and plecge (3) You must have a street address as wete
 iocal comic acednact Youm
 DON'T ASK
 QUESTIONS!
 WE'RE HEAVILY
 INTO THE ZEN
 SH-SHE-HULK!
 IT ONLY
 WORKS IFPOD o
 YOU DON'T a FOLLOW ME, anG
 NOW
 sAndm
 CON WHERE
 CHA S THIS
 1-6
 this ge
 Comprend
 RYSTA
 ! A ha! Hal Ha! Ha! Ha!
 !Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 to kno ALL OF
 THINK
 ABOUT IT!Foreign ak Ou
 that Canadiaihro
 PLACE 2/You wa F COMIC
 BOOKS
 A Your non
 y and youd ge
 at the Mint get a Spi
 99211 213, 215,
 oing to stop
 HERE for every last
 FTCKen I'm gonna start
 jacking up the prices on
 every book that has the High
 Evolutionary in it! In fact, I'm
 gonna jack up the prices on
 books that even use the
 "evolution!" 100-103, 1
 104-106, 11.00, 107-
 that stuff? Somebo
 pay for it!
 10.00, 104-10 11.00
 110-125
 10.00
 07-109.
 3.00
 104-106,
 S.12.00,
 $00 100-103.
 107
 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 a! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha
 al Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 You Want this?
 ewhole set, 18.00
 15
 12.00, 110-125, 13
 Y0-125
 T09
 3.00 100-103-10.00.
 04-106, 11.00, 107-109
 00, 110-125, 13.00
 03, 10.00, 104-106
 107-109, 12.00,
 5, 13.00 100-103,
 104-106, 11.00,
 109, 12.00, 110-125
 .00 100-103, 10.00
 04-106, 11.00: 107-109
 00, 110-125, 13.00 (
 100-103, 10.00, 10
 11.00, 107-109, 17
 110-125, 13.00
 10.00, 104-106
 107-109, 12.00
 EVIL
 re they still printing
 e? I thought they
 celled it after Miller left. I
 Ner cared for it much
 nyway. Expect for the
 hiddle period.. You know?
 When he was fighting, like,
 aliens and stuff? Now that
 was comics! 100-103, 10.00,
 125.
 00
 07-109,
 T125, 13.00
 03, 10.00, 104-106.
 1.00, 107-109, 12.00,
 110-125, 13.0O 100-103.
 13.001
 104
 TU125, 13.00 (yeah, I know
 the price is supposed to go
 24
Don’t think about it.

Don’t think about it.

Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO CRASH-LAND A PLANE ON WATER These instructions apply to small passenger propeller planes (not commercial airliners). 1 Take your place at the controls. If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your seat belt. 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call for help. There will be a control button on the yoke (the plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give your situation, destination, and plane call numbers (which should be printed on the top of the instru- ment panel). If you get no response, try again on the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the other end should be able to talk you through proper landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to talk you through the landing process, you will have to do it alone. beading airspeed indicator altimeter fuel gauge yoke throttle landing gear 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments. YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up, push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the nose of the plane should be about three inches below the horizon. ф awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO CRASH-LAND A PLANE ON WATER These instructions apply to small passenger propeller planes (not commercial airliners). 1 Take your place at the controls. If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your seat belt. 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call for help. There will be a control button on the yoke (the plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give your situation, destination, and plane call numbers (which should be printed on the top of the instru- ment panel). If you get no response, try again on the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the other end should be able to talk you through proper landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to talk you through the landing process, you will have to do it alone. beading airspeed indicator altimeter fuel gauge yoke throttle landing gear 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments. YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up, push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the nose of the plane should be about three inches below the horizon. ф awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Blessed, Huh, and Meme: @oscarewilde i received this comically large pencil as a gift several years ago and my first thought, understandably, was 'what the christ am i meant to do with this?' @oscarewilde the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With This. And so a while ago i took it in with me to a lecture, hoping against hope that whichever poor Fool was unfortunate enough to sit next to me might have forgotten or misplaced their writing implement @oscarewilde utilising The Pencil is also dependent on the person not using a laptop. So the chances of success are extraordinarily slim, and I've only managed to find suitable candidates three times in all of the dozens of occasions i've had The Pencil on my person @oscarewilde i size up my target, watching them feign patting their pockets in vain for the ballpoint they so obviously left at home, and i wait, i wait for the blessed question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could Borrow? @oscarewilde Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a pencil. That's fine!' i hear them say, distantly now, as the blood is rushing to my ears andican barely hear them. Imaintain a straight face. This is key to the delivery and the final blow @oscarewilde Ireach into my bag for The Pencil. The look of utter dumbfounded misery as i hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker through the 5 stages of grief, landing on acceptance, as they realise it's This or Nothing @oscarewilde still maintaining that eye contact i smile, only the tiniest fraction, the unspoken words forming between us. 'What are you gonna do now, huh? You feeling lucky, kiddo? Buddy? Buckaroo? You gonna kick up a fuss in this silent lecture theatre? Huh? Or will you take The Pencil? @oscarewilde they Always take the pencil ifynny.co Tap to see the meme
Blessed, Huh, and Meme: @oscarewilde
 i received this comically large pencil as
 a gift several years ago and my first
 thought, understandably,
 was 'what
 the christ am i meant to do with this?'
 @oscarewilde
 the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite
 Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day
 With This. And so a while ago i took it
 in with me to a lecture, hoping against
 hope that whichever poor Fool was
 unfortunate enough to sit next to me
 might have forgotten or misplaced
 their writing implement
 @oscarewilde
 utilising The Pencil is also dependent
 on the person not using a laptop. So
 the chances of success are
 extraordinarily slim, and I've only
 managed to find suitable candidates
 three times in all of the dozens of
 occasions i've had The Pencil on my
 person
 @oscarewilde
 i size up my target, watching them
 feign patting their pockets in vain for
 the ballpoint they so obviously left at
 home, and i wait, i wait for the blessed
 question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could
 Borrow?
 @oscarewilde
 Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a
 pencil. That's fine!' i hear them say,
 distantly now, as the blood is rushing
 to my ears andican barely hear them.
 Imaintain a straight face. This is key to
 the delivery and the final blow
 @oscarewilde
 Ireach into my bag for The Pencil. The
 look of utter dumbfounded misery as i
 hand it to the victim is unparalleled in
 its sweetness. In an instant their eyes
 flicker through the 5 stages of grief,
 landing on acceptance, as they realise
 it's This or Nothing
 @oscarewilde
 still maintaining that eye contact i
 smile, only the tiniest fraction, the
 unspoken words forming between us.
 'What are you gonna do now, huh?
 You feeling lucky, kiddo? Buddy?
 Buckaroo? You gonna kick up a fuss in
 this silent lecture theatre? Huh? Or will
 you take The Pencil?
 @oscarewilde
 they Always take the pencil
 ifynny.co
Tap to see the meme

Tap to see the meme