🔥 | Latest

Anna, Clothes, and Crazy: $42% 14:45 Anna Today 12:10 I haven't seen you in forever Have you been visiting your fellow angels up in Heaven? Ps. Always wanted to use this as a text opener Are you my wallet? Because l want to fill you up Ps. I just had nothing to respond with so I saw my empty wallet. Today 13:00o Do you like vegetables, Because i like you from head tomatoesb At least something is empty Are you a salad, because l'd stay away from you until there was some meat in you Let's do some math. Add bed subtract clothes, divide legs, and multiply My tongue hasn't been to the gym in a while, mind sitting on my face and letting my tongue work out? Do you want to do 68? go down on you, and you owe you Are you my TV because i need to beat you to make you work Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause l can see myself in your pants! Let's recreate our parents lives I act like I love you, I get you pregnant and then go move to the middle East under a different identity Oh that would be lovely. When and where? They say your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body Want to fight? I'd like to request a handicap, my tongue isn't strong enough to fight your tongue, How about I fight your clit? Today 14:02 Did your license get suspended for driving all these tinder girls crazy? I think you should bulk up a bit,I can offer some of my protein to you Today 14:41 Would you f*ck a stranger? No? Then let me introduce myself, my name is Anna I also require a phone number before I fuck someone, consider that my engagement proposal Sent Type a message.... GIF The pick up line show down of 2019
Anna, Clothes, and Crazy: $42%
 14:45
 Anna
 Today 12:10
 I haven't seen you in forever
 Have you been visiting your
 fellow angels up in Heaven?
 Ps. Always wanted to use this
 as a text opener
 Are you my wallet? Because l
 want to fill you up
 Ps. I just had nothing to respond
 with so I saw my empty wallet.
 Today 13:00o
 Do you like vegetables,
 Because i like you from head
 tomatoesb
 At least something is empty
 Are you a salad, because l'd stay
 away from you until there was
 some meat in you
 Let's do some math. Add bed
 subtract clothes, divide legs,
 and multiply
 My tongue hasn't been to the
 gym in a while, mind sitting on
 my face and letting my tongue
 work out?
 Do you want to do 68? go
 down on you, and you owe you
 Are you my TV because i need
 to beat you to make you work
 Is that a mirror in your pocket?
 Cause l can see myself in your
 pants!
 Let's recreate our parents lives
 I act like I love you, I get you
 pregnant and then go move to
 the middle East under a different
 identity
 Oh that would be lovely. When
 and where?
 They say your tongue is the
 strongest muscle in your body
 Want to fight?
 I'd like to request a handicap,
 my tongue isn't strong enough
 to fight your tongue, How about
 I fight your clit?
 Today 14:02
 Did your license get
 suspended for driving all these
 tinder girls crazy?
 I think you should bulk up a bit,I
 can offer some of my protein to
 you
 Today 14:41
 Would you f*ck a stranger? No?
 Then let me introduce myself,
 my name is Anna
 I also require a phone number
 before I fuck someone, consider
 that my engagement proposal
 Sent
 Type a message....
 GIF
The pick up line show down of 2019

The pick up line show down of 2019

Life, Love, and Tumblr: Note from angry neighbor (above) and appropriate Army vet response (below) uov Or have. TAko, a . cour You look HANèicu Stup beis ASer OHFILE Dear Passive Aggressive Douche, First and foremost: In the state of Texas, if a vehicle has DISABLED VETERAN license plates that vehicle is not required, BY LAW, to have a handicapped placard displayed, nor a handicapped emblem on the license plate, UNLESS that vehicle is parked on FEDERAL property. If you had bothered to spend 30 seconds and pull the minlature computer out of your pocket to research this then you would have never needed to leave me this offensive note. Considering that you took a picture of my license plate you should have been able to very clearly see the writing at the bottom that says: DISABLED VETERAN U.S. ARMED FORCES Butpobably just let your emotions gethe best of you and felt like being a social justice hero. Secondly: Although I may not "look handicapped to you, I can assure you that the amount of pain I feel in my lower body from walking due to combat sustained injuries far supersedes any level of pain you have ever felt in your entire life. Or maybe not....Who am I to say? After all, I don't even know who you are. By the way, I would love to hear what your idea of a handicapped person "looks like. Asshole Lastly You may have noticed there is a photocopy of the note you left attached to my response. I kept the original. I think I'm going to frame it so 1 can look at it every day as to remind myself of what kind of person to NOT be Sincerely The guy who doesn't look handicapped srsfunny:Angry Neighbor Vs. Army Vet
Life, Love, and Tumblr: Note from angry neighbor (above) and appropriate
 Army vet response (below)
 uov
 Or
 have. TAko, a
 .
 cour
 You look HANèicu
 Stup beis ASer
 OHFILE
 Dear Passive Aggressive Douche,
 First and foremost:
 In the state of Texas, if a vehicle has DISABLED VETERAN license plates
 that vehicle is not required, BY LAW, to have a handicapped placard
 displayed, nor a handicapped emblem on the license plate, UNLESS that
 vehicle is parked on FEDERAL property. If you had bothered to spend
 30 seconds and pull the minlature computer out of your pocket to
 research this then you would have never needed to leave me this
 offensive note. Considering that you took a picture of my license plate
 you should have been able to very clearly see the writing at the bottom
 that says: DISABLED VETERAN U.S. ARMED FORCES
 Butpobably just let your emotions gethe best of you and
 felt like being a social justice hero.
 Secondly:
 Although I may not "look handicapped to you, I can assure you that the
 amount of pain I feel in my lower body from walking due to combat
 sustained injuries far supersedes any level of pain you have ever felt in
 your entire life. Or maybe not....Who am I to say? After all, I don't even
 know who you are.
 By the way, I would love to hear what your idea of a handicapped
 person "looks like. Asshole
 Lastly
 You may have noticed there is a photocopy of the note you left attached
 to my response. I kept the original. I think I'm going to frame it so 1 can
 look at it every day as to remind myself of what kind of person to NOT
 be
 Sincerely
 The guy who doesn't look handicapped
srsfunny:Angry Neighbor Vs. Army Vet

srsfunny:Angry Neighbor Vs. Army Vet

Bad, Be Like, and Bitch: rachel @Rachel_Bonacoi i seriously need a job where i don't have to interact with people. I just asked a table if they were celebrating anything and when they said their dad's bday i brought them a bday table decoration and THEN they decide to tell me he's not coming cause he's datd.... I had the weirdest, longest dream last night. Some people were trying to like basically destroy the world and these monster things would pretty much just decimate every building they saw and they’d go just go one to the next and when you got killed by them you got sent to like another dimension or something but me and these three other kids found these magic like shards or something that broke off of the monsters idk and we put them together and it teleported ya back to the regular dimension like, actual earth, but everything was fixed again and so we all went to this like corner store and it was like reinforced to keep those monsters and bad guys out so we just worked there and the bad guys would come in and we had to keep fighting them. There was a lot more but it’s too hard to describe and I don’t remember a lot of it. Then the dream shifted to a spy mission and it was me and @brielarson and we had to dive into these water filled vents to get into the room but the vents were full of these fish that would like poison you and she was like ‘oh well it hurts at first but then it stops so just go’ so she would jump in the vent but then the ‘screen’ would go black and be like ‘You Died’ like in dark souls, and I was like oh my god what is this bitch doing?? And eventually after a few times I drank this weird stuff that made me immune to the poison so we got through the vents and into the room but now Brie Larson was Shakira and I forget who the ‘villain’ was but she and Shakira were seeing who could like hack something and find something through their computers the fastest except their computers were just showin GTA V so they were like lookin at license plates on cars and looking at buildings around Los Santos idk, and the villain beat shakira and I was like “:O oh no!” But then shakira was like ‘..yeah maybe you beat me but .. (and this was really dramatic here) the plants like carbohydrates ;) “ and she basically made these plants in the room grow super big and she was now Poison Ivy and (CARBOHYDRATES WHAT THE FUCK?) that’s all I remember thanks
Bad, Be Like, and Bitch: rachel
 @Rachel_Bonacoi
 i seriously need a job where i don't
 have to interact with people. I just
 asked a table if they were celebrating
 anything and when they said their
 dad's bday i brought them a bday
 table decoration and THEN they
 decide to tell me he's not coming
 cause he's datd....
I had the weirdest, longest dream last night. Some people were trying to like basically destroy the world and these monster things would pretty much just decimate every building they saw and they’d go just go one to the next and when you got killed by them you got sent to like another dimension or something but me and these three other kids found these magic like shards or something that broke off of the monsters idk and we put them together and it teleported ya back to the regular dimension like, actual earth, but everything was fixed again and so we all went to this like corner store and it was like reinforced to keep those monsters and bad guys out so we just worked there and the bad guys would come in and we had to keep fighting them. There was a lot more but it’s too hard to describe and I don’t remember a lot of it. Then the dream shifted to a spy mission and it was me and @brielarson and we had to dive into these water filled vents to get into the room but the vents were full of these fish that would like poison you and she was like ‘oh well it hurts at first but then it stops so just go’ so she would jump in the vent but then the ‘screen’ would go black and be like ‘You Died’ like in dark souls, and I was like oh my god what is this bitch doing?? And eventually after a few times I drank this weird stuff that made me immune to the poison so we got through the vents and into the room but now Brie Larson was Shakira and I forget who the ‘villain’ was but she and Shakira were seeing who could like hack something and find something through their computers the fastest except their computers were just showin GTA V so they were like lookin at license plates on cars and looking at buildings around Los Santos idk, and the villain beat shakira and I was like “:O oh no!” But then shakira was like ‘..yeah maybe you beat me but .. (and this was really dramatic here) the plants like carbohydrates ;) “ and she basically made these plants in the room grow super big and she was now Poison Ivy and (CARBOHYDRATES WHAT THE FUCK?) that’s all I remember thanks

I had the weirdest, longest dream last night. Some people were trying to like basically destroy the world and these monster things would pre...