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Ass, Beautiful, and Booty: First night at home from the shelter. Reddit u/towntown1337 @DrSmashlove People ask me “aye smash what’s your type? What do u like in a girl?” Simple - I ain’t got no type. Anyone who says I do is lyin 🦁. I mean obviously from the captions u can see that there are things I like (skretch marks...above the booty dimples...thunderous thighs 🤤 lemme stop before I get hot and bothered.) But that don’t mean I don’t like thin women. I love them too. Equally. Girl if u don’t bring ya bony lil sensual grasshopper lookin a$$ and sit on this lap ol stick figure a$$ lmao wyd tho hangman lookin a$$ u cute tho lol handful of toothpicks with good hair lookin a$$ baby stop crying I’m playin with u why u gotta punch me ol legend of the slenderman lookin a$$ baby...baby why u choking me...baby? I kinda like this keep going HAHAHAHA LEMME STOP. Anyway like I said I ain’t got no type. Thicky thicc or slenderwomanous u all splendiferous. And that’s how I feel about doggies. I ain’t got no type. I understand people like different things. I don’t even blame people who go to breeders like I got close friends that’s done it and I’m not about to lecture anybody - they want a certain retriever or husky good for them. I don’t like puppy mills in my heart but I don’t judge. But as for me bruv a ratty lil mix breed rescue dog with a high pitch bark that sound like a child aggressively coughing? With them lil ass legs that allow him or her to run 700 miles per hour bruv? I love a crazy lil rescue mutt bruv he beautiful to me. But most important YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL FOR ADOPTING HIM OR HER - U A HERO. NOT A SMALL HERO BUT A BIG HERO - BLESS U - U WONDERFUL 😍❤️ [Editor’s Note: The reference to choking was made in jest and was merely intended to create literary interest. The author is from the hood. Consequently, I have built-in danger sensors. Wrap your hands around my throat and squeeze and u gon catcheth this fade. It be the petite lil joints that always wanna scrap too - don’t none of u lil grasshoppers DM me like “let me choke u zaddy ☺️” Imma leave u on ‘Seent’ ON PRINCIPLE. BLESS YA TINY LIL A$$ UP 😂😂😂]
Ass, Beautiful, and Booty: First night at home from the shelter.
 Reddit u/towntown1337
 @DrSmashlove
People ask me “aye smash what’s your type? What do u like in a girl?” Simple - I ain’t got no type. Anyone who says I do is lyin 🦁. I mean obviously from the captions u can see that there are things I like (skretch marks...above the booty dimples...thunderous thighs 🤤 lemme stop before I get hot and bothered.) But that don’t mean I don’t like thin women. I love them too. Equally. Girl if u don’t bring ya bony lil sensual grasshopper lookin a$$ and sit on this lap ol stick figure a$$ lmao wyd tho hangman lookin a$$ u cute tho lol handful of toothpicks with good hair lookin a$$ baby stop crying I’m playin with u why u gotta punch me ol legend of the slenderman lookin a$$ baby...baby why u choking me...baby? I kinda like this keep going HAHAHAHA LEMME STOP. Anyway like I said I ain’t got no type. Thicky thicc or slenderwomanous u all splendiferous. And that’s how I feel about doggies. I ain’t got no type. I understand people like different things. I don’t even blame people who go to breeders like I got close friends that’s done it and I’m not about to lecture anybody - they want a certain retriever or husky good for them. I don’t like puppy mills in my heart but I don’t judge. But as for me bruv a ratty lil mix breed rescue dog with a high pitch bark that sound like a child aggressively coughing? With them lil ass legs that allow him or her to run 700 miles per hour bruv? I love a crazy lil rescue mutt bruv he beautiful to me. But most important YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL FOR ADOPTING HIM OR HER - U A HERO. NOT A SMALL HERO BUT A BIG HERO - BLESS U - U WONDERFUL 😍❤️ [Editor’s Note: The reference to choking was made in jest and was merely intended to create literary interest. The author is from the hood. Consequently, I have built-in danger sensors. Wrap your hands around my throat and squeeze and u gon catcheth this fade. It be the petite lil joints that always wanna scrap too - don’t none of u lil grasshoppers DM me like “let me choke u zaddy ☺️” Imma leave u on ‘Seent’ ON PRINCIPLE. BLESS YA TINY LIL A$$ UP 😂😂😂]

People ask me “aye smash what’s your type? What do u like in a girl?” Simple - I ain’t got no type. Anyone who says I do is lyin 🦁. I mean o...

Af, Be Like, and Bless Up: Retired therapy dog gets a kitten for christmas. Pic: reddit u/lizcomp @DrSmashlove So last week I posted an adorable pup that was a doggo-coyote mix. Obviously that precipitated a lot of bewildered comments from my beloved followers: “hold up...dogs and coyotes mix?” Now I ain’t think much about it at the time, but upon further reflection...DOGS AND COYOTES (and dogs and wolves 🐺) MIX?! LIKE THESE SPECIES HAVE RELATIONS BRUV?! 😂. Imagine the type of pressure u under as a dog! Like Mr. Peter Poodle hanging at home with Mrs. Pepper Poodle and she gardening and he tending the lawn in overalls and down the street come a wolf and a coyote in a black Chrysler 300 (like them Chryslers that all the trappers drive where it look like a Bentley but really Issa Chrysler) and Mr. Walter Wolf behind the wheel in Cartier glasses, an LA Raiders cap and a leather Pelle Pelle jacket crunching jolly ranchers and holding a double styrofoam cup just pull up to the crib like “AYE PEPPER. GET IN THE WHIP, B!H.” And ol Peter just like “I’m sorry! You can’t speak to my spouse like that! Stop at once before I alert the authorities! I’ll have you know that I golf with the Chief of Police!” And Walter Wolf just hop out and tear Peter’s leg off and start eating it lmao. And he look at Peter like BOY LEMME GIVE U A LIL HISTORY LESSON. ME AND PEPPER USE TO DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL. I GOT HER CARRYING MY PUPS TOO BUT SHE WENT TO PLANNED PUPPERHOOD. SHE AIN TELL U ALL THAT DID SHE. PLUS SHE SENDING ME SNAPS WHEN U AT WORK OL “Peter from procurement” lookin a$$. FYI. PEPPER GET IN THE DAMN CAR. NONE OF THIS ARF ARF WOOF WOOF ISHT. SHE READY TO GO BACK TO A REAL BEAST.” And Walter just throw Peter’s leg on the ground and be like “I’LL BRING HER BACK WHEN I’M DONE.” Smfh. Animal kingdom wil af. Thank God I ain’t gotta deal with an uber-species of trained killers coming for my ladies. To quote Gucci Mane...sh!t shkressful Bruh 😫 BLESS UP 😂😂😂
Af, Be Like, and Bless Up: Retired therapy dog gets a kitten for
 christmas.
 Pic: reddit u/lizcomp
 @DrSmashlove
So last week I posted an adorable pup that was a doggo-coyote mix. Obviously that precipitated a lot of bewildered comments from my beloved followers: “hold up...dogs and coyotes mix?” Now I ain’t think much about it at the time, but upon further reflection...DOGS AND COYOTES (and dogs and wolves 🐺) MIX?! LIKE THESE SPECIES HAVE RELATIONS BRUV?! 😂. Imagine the type of pressure u under as a dog! Like Mr. Peter Poodle hanging at home with Mrs. Pepper Poodle and she gardening and he tending the lawn in overalls and down the street come a wolf and a coyote in a black Chrysler 300 (like them Chryslers that all the trappers drive where it look like a Bentley but really Issa Chrysler) and Mr. Walter Wolf behind the wheel in Cartier glasses, an LA Raiders cap and a leather Pelle Pelle jacket crunching jolly ranchers and holding a double styrofoam cup just pull up to the crib like “AYE PEPPER. GET IN THE WHIP, B!H.” And ol Peter just like “I’m sorry! You can’t speak to my spouse like that! Stop at once before I alert the authorities! I’ll have you know that I golf with the Chief of Police!” And Walter Wolf just hop out and tear Peter’s leg off and start eating it lmao. And he look at Peter like BOY LEMME GIVE U A LIL HISTORY LESSON. ME AND PEPPER USE TO DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL. I GOT HER CARRYING MY PUPS TOO BUT SHE WENT TO PLANNED PUPPERHOOD. SHE AIN TELL U ALL THAT DID SHE. PLUS SHE SENDING ME SNAPS WHEN U AT WORK OL “Peter from procurement” lookin a$$. FYI. PEPPER GET IN THE DAMN CAR. NONE OF THIS ARF ARF WOOF WOOF ISHT. SHE READY TO GO BACK TO A REAL BEAST.” And Walter just throw Peter’s leg on the ground and be like “I’LL BRING HER BACK WHEN I’M DONE.” Smfh. Animal kingdom wil af. Thank God I ain’t gotta deal with an uber-species of trained killers coming for my ladies. To quote Gucci Mane...sh!t shkressful Bruh 😫 BLESS UP 😂😂😂

So last week I posted an adorable pup that was a doggo-coyote mix. Obviously that precipitated a lot of bewildered comments from my beloved ...

Af, Bless Up, and College: She was an old dog when she moved in with us - nine years old at the time. Last month she turned old enough to be able to vote Shout to u ladies whose grammar and spelling turn poor AF when u s€xt!ng bruv. In fact when the grammar-spelling too on point and the punctuation is all in the right place it’s almost like wtf? If u so fired up how u typing so good ma sumting wong 🤔. Nah. Lemme see that urgency. “Omg daddy that would feel so goog please dady”. Yes ma’am! I’m there! This wasn’t no cut and paste! Stop it ladies I know some of y’all in the game like magazine editors out dis bih. Cosmopolitan Editor-in-Chief and sh*t bruv “83 ways to please your man” lookin a$$, ol “Lemme grab this perfect photograph with optimal lighting from when Obama was just elected and it was a better time and lemme pair it with this text that has worked 11 times before” and the man usually buy it just like “omg Karen you’re AMAZING lol heck 😍”. Nah. I be searching the room for clues. “That Dell laptop look like a college joint ma. Freshman special lmao. Paid $899 at orientation at the campus bookstore lookin a$$. Lemme find out this pic is circa 2008. This pic turning 10 next year. We need to celebrate the taking of this pic ma u need to retire this pic...Nine years of service ma that pic need a pension and a retiree health care plan” 😂. Nah. Send me a hastily worded text u typed with one hand (😍) and pair it with a pic where yo hair look a mess and u laying in bed talmbout “pardon the mess and pardon my cat he’s an a$$hole” send me THAT. All natural. U feel me? NOTHING AGAINST MAKEUP I LOVE U LADIES AND YALL ONE INCH THICK MAKEUP TUTORIAL EYEBROWS WITH THE MASTERFULLY DONE FADE BUT I ALSO LOVE U WITH YA NORMAL EYEBROWS, BAGS UNDER YA EYES, SKRETCH MARKS, NANI STUBBLE WITH THE SKRAGGLY BUCKSHOT STRAY SHORT HAIR RIGHT WHERE THE THIGH MEAT CREASES TO MEET THE NANI REGION (Lil Atticus Pubicus u doing the best u can u escaped the razor this time and u be gone by next time but u fought the good fight, u da real MVP 🏅😂), CELLULITE, OTHER “imperfections”, I’LL TAKE ANY DAY OVER A PIC FROM WHEN JA RULE WAS SO HOT THAT JAY-Z MADE A MUSICAL GROUP WITH HIM (all u lil babies out there please google ‘Murder Inc.’, this happened 🤗, don’t say smash never taught u nothing BLESS UP 😩😂😂😂)
Af, Bless Up, and College: She was an old dog when she
 moved in with us - nine years
 old at the time. Last month she
 turned old enough to be able
 to vote
Shout to u ladies whose grammar and spelling turn poor AF when u s€xt!ng bruv. In fact when the grammar-spelling too on point and the punctuation is all in the right place it’s almost like wtf? If u so fired up how u typing so good ma sumting wong 🤔. Nah. Lemme see that urgency. “Omg daddy that would feel so goog please dady”. Yes ma’am! I’m there! This wasn’t no cut and paste! Stop it ladies I know some of y’all in the game like magazine editors out dis bih. Cosmopolitan Editor-in-Chief and sh*t bruv “83 ways to please your man” lookin a$$, ol “Lemme grab this perfect photograph with optimal lighting from when Obama was just elected and it was a better time and lemme pair it with this text that has worked 11 times before” and the man usually buy it just like “omg Karen you’re AMAZING lol heck 😍”. Nah. I be searching the room for clues. “That Dell laptop look like a college joint ma. Freshman special lmao. Paid $899 at orientation at the campus bookstore lookin a$$. Lemme find out this pic is circa 2008. This pic turning 10 next year. We need to celebrate the taking of this pic ma u need to retire this pic...Nine years of service ma that pic need a pension and a retiree health care plan” 😂. Nah. Send me a hastily worded text u typed with one hand (😍) and pair it with a pic where yo hair look a mess and u laying in bed talmbout “pardon the mess and pardon my cat he’s an a$$hole” send me THAT. All natural. U feel me? NOTHING AGAINST MAKEUP I LOVE U LADIES AND YALL ONE INCH THICK MAKEUP TUTORIAL EYEBROWS WITH THE MASTERFULLY DONE FADE BUT I ALSO LOVE U WITH YA NORMAL EYEBROWS, BAGS UNDER YA EYES, SKRETCH MARKS, NANI STUBBLE WITH THE SKRAGGLY BUCKSHOT STRAY SHORT HAIR RIGHT WHERE THE THIGH MEAT CREASES TO MEET THE NANI REGION (Lil Atticus Pubicus u doing the best u can u escaped the razor this time and u be gone by next time but u fought the good fight, u da real MVP 🏅😂), CELLULITE, OTHER “imperfections”, I’LL TAKE ANY DAY OVER A PIC FROM WHEN JA RULE WAS SO HOT THAT JAY-Z MADE A MUSICAL GROUP WITH HIM (all u lil babies out there please google ‘Murder Inc.’, this happened 🤗, don’t say smash never taught u nothing BLESS UP 😩😂😂😂)

Shout to u ladies whose grammar and spelling turn poor AF when u s€xt!ng bruv. In fact when the grammar-spelling too on point and the punctu...