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Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI 100% 3:18 AM Vanessa Ok so want you to imagine we've got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with several wheels of cheddar cheese Now, just behind it, you'll see a reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500, this one filled with delicious gouda, still wrapped in wax, Behind that vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup SR5, freshly painted and with a load of fresh Bleu cheese in the back. Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge Ram 2500, the rear bed containing several large slices of Swiss cheese gently baking in the hot sun. Look I know it's not much but it's the best cheesy pick-up line I could come up with ngo Wow that was a mouthful and arn adventure Imfao Choose your own adventure! For a low energy effort segue from the line, read part A For an overly-sexual response, read part B, Para Español, sigue al C A: haha thanks! Anyways what are you up to B: I've got another mouthful for you here if you're up for it C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste inglés. Puedo intentar seguir flirteando en español pero mis habilidades españolas son pobres 6 min ng See it's times like this where I wish I knew spanish Btw this is amazing I'm very impressed Vanessa 54min ag0 For a low effort reply, read part A For an overly-sexual response, read part B. Para Español, sigue al C A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was possible to live down here without knowing any Spanish B: If I can get them digits I'll send you a photo of something else that'll impress C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos de humor tardio, normaimente soy mejor en este tipo de cosas 47 min、ago Omg I'm having my friend translate this Spanish me Choose your own adventure! A for standard low effort response, B for overly-sexual response, y C para Español A: Haha your friend will probably be able to tell you how bad my Spanish actually is. In fact, I've been using Google translate to help. But shh keep that on the down low... Our B: This Spanish friend of yours single? 1 always had a thing for C: Lo sentimos, pero Google translate ha detectado un error. Por favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde. 4 min ago 1. My friend isn't a girl 2. Why you tryna get with my friend here when you're talking to 3. That spanish part was funny why'd you send me that Imfao Vanessa 26 min ago Choose your own adventure! A for standard response, B for overly- sexual response, y C para Español. A: My apologies, B can sometimes get a little out of hand. I'm not interested in the friend. It's just that B tries hard to be overly sexual and when the only thing in your reply was that you're having a friend translate, he had to run with it. He means well and deep down B is actually a mature and reasonable C: Has enviado demasiadas solicitudes de traducción. Por favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde min ag Boy you're ridiculous I can't keep up with 3 GIF a message tindershwinder: Triple threat
Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI
 100%
 3:18 AM
 Vanessa
 Ok so want you to imagine we've
 got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a
 lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with
 several wheels of cheddar cheese
 Now, just behind it, you'll see a
 reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500,
 this one filled with delicious gouda,
 still wrapped in wax, Behind that
 vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup
 SR5, freshly painted and with a load
 of fresh Bleu cheese in the back.
 Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge
 Ram 2500, the rear bed containing
 several large slices of Swiss cheese
 gently baking in the hot sun.
 Look I know it's not much but it's
 the best cheesy pick-up line I could
 come up with
 ngo
 Wow that was a
 mouthful and arn
 adventure Imfao
 Choose your own adventure!
 For a low energy effort segue from
 the line, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B,
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks! Anyways what are
 you up to
 B: I've got another mouthful for you
 here if you're up for it
 C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste
 inglés. Puedo intentar seguir
 flirteando en español pero mis
 habilidades españolas son pobres
 6 min ng
 See it's times like this
 where I wish I knew
 spanish
 Btw this is amazing
 I'm very impressed
 Vanessa 54min ag0
 For a low effort reply, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B.
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was
 possible to live down here without
 knowing any Spanish
 B: If I can get them digits I'll send
 you a photo of something else that'll
 impress
 C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos
 de humor tardio, normaimente soy
 mejor en este tipo de cosas
 47 min、ago
 Omg
 I'm having my friend
 translate this Spanish
 me
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard low effort response, B for
 overly-sexual response, y C para
 Español
 A: Haha your friend will probably be
 able to tell you how bad my Spanish
 actually is. In fact, I've been using
 Google translate to help. But shh
 keep that on the down low... Our
 B: This Spanish friend of yours
 single? 1 always had a thing for
 C: Lo sentimos, pero Google
 translate ha detectado un error. Por
 favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde.
 4 min ago
 1. My friend isn't a girl
 2. Why you tryna get
 with my friend here
 when you're talking to
 3. That spanish part
 was funny why'd you
 send me that Imfao
 Vanessa 26 min ago
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard response, B for overly-
 sexual response, y C para Español.
 A: My apologies, B can sometimes
 get a little out of hand. I'm not
 interested in the friend. It's just that
 B tries hard to be overly sexual and
 when the only thing in your reply
 was that you're having a friend
 translate, he had to run with it. He
 means well and deep down B is
 actually a mature and reasonable
 C: Has enviado demasiadas
 solicitudes de traducción. Por favor,
 inténtelo de nuevo más tarde
 min ag
 Boy you're ridiculous
 I can't keep up with 3
 GIF
 a message
tindershwinder:

Triple threat

tindershwinder: Triple threat

Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI 100% 3:18 AM Vanessa Ok so want you to imagine we've got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with several wheels of cheddar cheese Now, just behind it, you'll see a reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500, this one filled with delicious gouda, still wrapped in wax, Behind that vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup SR5, freshly painted and with a load of fresh Bleu cheese in the back. Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge Ram 2500, the rear bed containing several large slices of Swiss cheese gently baking in the hot sun. Look I know it's not much but it's the best cheesy pick-up line I could come up with ngo Wow that was a mouthful and arn adventure Imfao Choose your own adventure! For a low energy effort segue from the line, read part A For an overly-sexual response, read part B, Para Español, sigue al C A: haha thanks! Anyways what are you up to B: I've got another mouthful for you here if you're up for it C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste inglés. Puedo intentar seguir flirteando en español pero mis habilidades españolas son pobres 6 min ng See it's times like this where I wish I knew spanish Btw this is amazing I'm very impressed Vanessa 54min ag0 For a low effort reply, read part A For an overly-sexual response, read part B. Para Español, sigue al C A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was possible to live down here without knowing any Spanish B: If I can get them digits I'll send you a photo of something else that'll impress C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos de humor tardio, normaimente soy mejor en este tipo de cosas 47 min、ago Omg I'm having my friend translate this Spanish me Choose your own adventure! A for standard low effort response, B for overly-sexual response, y C para Español A: Haha your friend will probably be able to tell you how bad my Spanish actually is. In fact, I've been using Google translate to help. But shh keep that on the down low... Our B: This Spanish friend of yours single? 1 always had a thing for C: Lo sentimos, pero Google translate ha detectado un error. Por favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde. 4 min ago 1. My friend isn't a girl 2. Why you tryna get with my friend here when you're talking to 3. That spanish part was funny why'd you send me that Imfao Vanessa 26 min ago Choose your own adventure! A for standard response, B for overly- sexual response, y C para Español. A: My apologies, B can sometimes get a little out of hand. I'm not interested in the friend. It's just that B tries hard to be overly sexual and when the only thing in your reply was that you're having a friend translate, he had to run with it. He means well and deep down B is actually a mature and reasonable C: Has enviado demasiadas solicitudes de traducción. Por favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde min ag Boy you're ridiculous I can't keep up with 3 GIF a message Triple threat
Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI
 100%
 3:18 AM
 Vanessa
 Ok so want you to imagine we've
 got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a
 lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with
 several wheels of cheddar cheese
 Now, just behind it, you'll see a
 reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500,
 this one filled with delicious gouda,
 still wrapped in wax, Behind that
 vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup
 SR5, freshly painted and with a load
 of fresh Bleu cheese in the back.
 Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge
 Ram 2500, the rear bed containing
 several large slices of Swiss cheese
 gently baking in the hot sun.
 Look I know it's not much but it's
 the best cheesy pick-up line I could
 come up with
 ngo
 Wow that was a
 mouthful and arn
 adventure Imfao
 Choose your own adventure!
 For a low energy effort segue from
 the line, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B,
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks! Anyways what are
 you up to
 B: I've got another mouthful for you
 here if you're up for it
 C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste
 inglés. Puedo intentar seguir
 flirteando en español pero mis
 habilidades españolas son pobres
 6 min ng
 See it's times like this
 where I wish I knew
 spanish
 Btw this is amazing
 I'm very impressed
 Vanessa 54min ag0
 For a low effort reply, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B.
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was
 possible to live down here without
 knowing any Spanish
 B: If I can get them digits I'll send
 you a photo of something else that'll
 impress
 C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos
 de humor tardio, normaimente soy
 mejor en este tipo de cosas
 47 min、ago
 Omg
 I'm having my friend
 translate this Spanish
 me
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard low effort response, B for
 overly-sexual response, y C para
 Español
 A: Haha your friend will probably be
 able to tell you how bad my Spanish
 actually is. In fact, I've been using
 Google translate to help. But shh
 keep that on the down low... Our
 B: This Spanish friend of yours
 single? 1 always had a thing for
 C: Lo sentimos, pero Google
 translate ha detectado un error. Por
 favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde.
 4 min ago
 1. My friend isn't a girl
 2. Why you tryna get
 with my friend here
 when you're talking to
 3. That spanish part
 was funny why'd you
 send me that Imfao
 Vanessa 26 min ago
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard response, B for overly-
 sexual response, y C para Español.
 A: My apologies, B can sometimes
 get a little out of hand. I'm not
 interested in the friend. It's just that
 B tries hard to be overly sexual and
 when the only thing in your reply
 was that you're having a friend
 translate, he had to run with it. He
 means well and deep down B is
 actually a mature and reasonable
 C: Has enviado demasiadas
 solicitudes de traducción. Por favor,
 inténtelo de nuevo más tarde
 min ag
 Boy you're ridiculous
 I can't keep up with 3
 GIF
 a message
Triple threat

Triple threat

Bailey Jay, Dude, and Fresh: oo Verizon 2:03 PM Q Search Heathans Dan Yesterday at 10:08 AM- Today at work I found some Wild Corndogs growing in their natural habitat. This was real exciting for me as I have never picked fresh corndogs before, but I have no idea how to tel when they are ripe as they tasted horrible no matter how much mustard I put on them 22.5K Shares Like Share News Feed Requests Messenger Notifications More prancingtrashcan: cynicowl: randomdaisy: limbovulture: @randomdaisy dear herbologist what the fok is this corn dog plant OH MY GOODNESS I SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND I WAS LIKE “OH NO…. DUDE… DUDE NO” this plant is, in fact, a cattail (Typha genus, probably either Typha latifolia or Typha angustifolia). what’s ironic about this person’s encounter is that almost every single part of the cattail is edible– the rhizomes are starchy and, although tough, can be made into a nutritious flour; the stems can be peeled and used like asparagus; the pollen can be gathered and used to extend or supplement flour; and even the green flower spikes can be boiled and eaten like corn-on-the-cob, so this person sort of had the right idea. the thing is, what this person has in their photo is a BROWN flower spike, meaning that it’s starting to go to seed and is probably a tasteless mouthful of either fiber or fluff. regardless of whether the post is a joke or serious, out of all the edible parts of the cattail, op managed to pick one of the ONLY parts of the plant that isn’t. and i still can’t get over that. As a side note, rubbing that part of the plant makes an absolutely ridiculous amount of fluff come out (which is how it disperses the seeds). I highly recommend it but it’s probably best to do that when no one else is around are you saying i can jack off this plant and it will nut
Bailey Jay, Dude, and Fresh: oo Verizon
 2:03 PM
 Q Search
 Heathans Dan
 Yesterday at 10:08 AM-
 Today at work I found some Wild Corndogs growing in their
 natural habitat. This was real exciting for me as I have never
 picked fresh corndogs before, but I have no idea how to tel
 when they are ripe as they tasted horrible no matter how
 much mustard I put on them
 22.5K Shares
 Like
 Share
 News Feed
 Requests
 Messenger
 Notifications
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prancingtrashcan:


cynicowl:

randomdaisy:

limbovulture:

@randomdaisy dear herbologist what the fok is this corn dog plant

OH MY GOODNESS I SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND I WAS LIKE “OH NO…. DUDE… DUDE NO”


this plant is, in fact, a cattail (Typha genus, probably either Typha latifolia or Typha angustifolia).  what’s ironic about this person’s encounter is that almost every single part of the cattail is edible– the rhizomes are starchy and, although tough, can be made into a nutritious flour; the stems can be peeled and used like asparagus; the pollen can be gathered and used to extend or supplement flour; and even the green flower spikes can be boiled and eaten like corn-on-the-cob, so this person sort of had the right idea.


the thing is, what this person has in their photo is a BROWN flower spike, meaning that it’s starting to go to seed and is probably a tasteless mouthful of either fiber or fluff.  regardless of whether the post is a joke or serious, out of all the edible parts of the cattail, op managed to pick one of the ONLY parts of the plant that isn’t.  and i still can’t get over that. 

As a side note, rubbing that part of the plant makes an absolutely ridiculous amount of fluff come out (which is how it disperses the seeds). I highly recommend it but it’s probably best to do that when no one else is around





are you saying i can jack off this plant and it will nut

prancingtrashcan: cynicowl: randomdaisy: limbovulture: @randomdaisy dear herbologist what the fok is this corn dog plant OH MY GOODNES...