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    Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI
 100%
 3:18 AM
 Vanessa
 Ok so want you to imagine we've
 got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a
 lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with
 several wheels of cheddar cheese
 Now, just behind it, you'll see a
 reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500,
 this one filled with delicious gouda,
 still wrapped in wax, Behind that
 vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup
 SR5, freshly painted and with a load
 of fresh Bleu cheese in the back.
 Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge
 Ram 2500, the rear bed containing
 several large slices of Swiss cheese
 gently baking in the hot sun.
 Look I know it's not much but it's
 the best cheesy pick-up line I could
 come up with
 ngo
 Wow that was a
 mouthful and arn
 adventure Imfao
 Choose your own adventure!
 For a low energy effort segue from
 the line, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B,
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks! Anyways what are
 you up to
 B: I've got another mouthful for you
 here if you're up for it
 C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste
 inglés. Puedo intentar seguir
 flirteando en español pero mis
 habilidades españolas son pobres
 6 min ng
 See it's times like this
 where I wish I knew
 spanish
 Btw this is amazing
 I'm very impressed
 Vanessa 54min ag0
 For a low effort reply, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B.
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was
 possible to live down here without
 knowing any Spanish
 B: If I can get them digits I'll send
 you a photo of something else that'll
 impress
 C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos
 de humor tardio, normaimente soy
 mejor en este tipo de cosas
 47 min、ago
 Omg
 I'm having my friend
 translate this Spanish
 me
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard low effort response, B for
 overly-sexual response, y C para
 Español
 A: Haha your friend will probably be
 able to tell you how bad my Spanish
 actually is. In fact, I've been using
 Google translate to help. But shh
 keep that on the down low... Our
 B: This Spanish friend of yours
 single? 1 always had a thing for
 C: Lo sentimos, pero Google
 translate ha detectado un error. Por
 favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde.
 4 min ago
 1. My friend isn't a girl
 2. Why you tryna get
 with my friend here
 when you're talking to
 3. That spanish part
 was funny why'd you
 send me that Imfao
 Vanessa 26 min ago
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard response, B for overly-
 sexual response, y C para Español.
 A: My apologies, B can sometimes
 get a little out of hand. I'm not
 interested in the friend. It's just that
 B tries hard to be overly sexual and
 when the only thing in your reply
 was that you're having a friend
 translate, he had to run with it. He
 means well and deep down B is
 actually a mature and reasonable
 C: Has enviado demasiadas
 solicitudes de traducción. Por favor,
 inténtelo de nuevo más tarde
 min ag
 Boy you're ridiculous
 I can't keep up with 3
 GIF
 a message
tindershwinder:

Triple threat
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI
 100%
 3:18 AM
 Vanessa
 Ok so want you to imagine we've
 got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a
 lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with
 several wheels of cheddar cheese
 Now, just behind it, you'll see a
 reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500,
 this one filled with delicious gouda,
 still wrapped in wax, Behind that
 vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup
 SR5, freshly painted and with a load
 of fresh Bleu cheese in the back.
 Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge
 Ram 2500, the rear bed containing
 several large slices of Swiss cheese
 gently baking in the hot sun.
 Look I know it's not much but it's
 the best cheesy pick-up line I could
 come up with
 ngo
 Wow that was a
 mouthful and arn
 adventure Imfao
 Choose your own adventure!
 For a low energy effort segue from
 the line, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B,
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks! Anyways what are
 you up to
 B: I've got another mouthful for you
 here if you're up for it
 C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste
 inglés. Puedo intentar seguir
 flirteando en español pero mis
 habilidades españolas son pobres
 6 min ng
 See it's times like this
 where I wish I knew
 spanish
 Btw this is amazing
 I'm very impressed
 Vanessa 54min ag0
 For a low effort reply, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B.
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was
 possible to live down here without
 knowing any Spanish
 B: If I can get them digits I'll send
 you a photo of something else that'll
 impress
 C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos
 de humor tardio, normaimente soy
 mejor en este tipo de cosas
 47 min、ago
 Omg
 I'm having my friend
 translate this Spanish
 me
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard low effort response, B for
 overly-sexual response, y C para
 Español
 A: Haha your friend will probably be
 able to tell you how bad my Spanish
 actually is. In fact, I've been using
 Google translate to help. But shh
 keep that on the down low... Our
 B: This Spanish friend of yours
 single? 1 always had a thing for
 C: Lo sentimos, pero Google
 translate ha detectado un error. Por
 favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde.
 4 min ago
 1. My friend isn't a girl
 2. Why you tryna get
 with my friend here
 when you're talking to
 3. That spanish part
 was funny why'd you
 send me that Imfao
 Vanessa 26 min ago
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard response, B for overly-
 sexual response, y C para Español.
 A: My apologies, B can sometimes
 get a little out of hand. I'm not
 interested in the friend. It's just that
 B tries hard to be overly sexual and
 when the only thing in your reply
 was that you're having a friend
 translate, he had to run with it. He
 means well and deep down B is
 actually a mature and reasonable
 C: Has enviado demasiadas
 solicitudes de traducción. Por favor,
 inténtelo de nuevo más tarde
 min ag
 Boy you're ridiculous
 I can't keep up with 3
 GIF
 a message
tindershwinder:

Triple threat
                
            

            
            
tindershwinder:

Triple threat

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI
 100%
 3:18 AM
 Vanessa
 Ok so want you to imagine we've
 got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a
 lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with
 several wheels of cheddar cheese
 Now, just behind it, you'll see a
 reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500,
 this one filled with delicious gouda,
 still wrapped in wax, Behind that
 vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup
 SR5, freshly painted and with a load
 of fresh Bleu cheese in the back.
 Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge
 Ram 2500, the rear bed containing
 several large slices of Swiss cheese
 gently baking in the hot sun.
 Look I know it's not much but it's
 the best cheesy pick-up line I could
 come up with
 ngo
 Wow that was a
 mouthful and arn
 adventure Imfao
 Choose your own adventure!
 For a low energy effort segue from
 the line, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B,
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks! Anyways what are
 you up to
 B: I've got another mouthful for you
 here if you're up for it
 C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste
 inglés. Puedo intentar seguir
 flirteando en español pero mis
 habilidades españolas son pobres
 6 min ng
 See it's times like this
 where I wish I knew
 spanish
 Btw this is amazing
 I'm very impressed
 Vanessa 54min ag0
 For a low effort reply, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B.
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was
 possible to live down here without
 knowing any Spanish
 B: If I can get them digits I'll send
 you a photo of something else that'll
 impress
 C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos
 de humor tardio, normaimente soy
 mejor en este tipo de cosas
 47 min、ago
 Omg
 I'm having my friend
 translate this Spanish
 me
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard low effort response, B for
 overly-sexual response, y C para
 Español
 A: Haha your friend will probably be
 able to tell you how bad my Spanish
 actually is. In fact, I've been using
 Google translate to help. But shh
 keep that on the down low... Our
 B: This Spanish friend of yours
 single? 1 always had a thing for
 C: Lo sentimos, pero Google
 translate ha detectado un error. Por
 favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde.
 4 min ago
 1. My friend isn't a girl
 2. Why you tryna get
 with my friend here
 when you're talking to
 3. That spanish part
 was funny why'd you
 send me that Imfao
 Vanessa 26 min ago
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard response, B for overly-
 sexual response, y C para Español.
 A: My apologies, B can sometimes
 get a little out of hand. I'm not
 interested in the friend. It's just that
 B tries hard to be overly sexual and
 when the only thing in your reply
 was that you're having a friend
 translate, he had to run with it. He
 means well and deep down B is
 actually a mature and reasonable
 C: Has enviado demasiadas
 solicitudes de traducción. Por favor,
 inténtelo de nuevo más tarde
 min ag
 Boy you're ridiculous
 I can't keep up with 3
 GIF
 a message
Triple threat
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI
 100%
 3:18 AM
 Vanessa
 Ok so want you to imagine we've
 got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a
 lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with
 several wheels of cheddar cheese
 Now, just behind it, you'll see a
 reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500,
 this one filled with delicious gouda,
 still wrapped in wax, Behind that
 vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup
 SR5, freshly painted and with a load
 of fresh Bleu cheese in the back.
 Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge
 Ram 2500, the rear bed containing
 several large slices of Swiss cheese
 gently baking in the hot sun.
 Look I know it's not much but it's
 the best cheesy pick-up line I could
 come up with
 ngo
 Wow that was a
 mouthful and arn
 adventure Imfao
 Choose your own adventure!
 For a low energy effort segue from
 the line, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B,
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks! Anyways what are
 you up to
 B: I've got another mouthful for you
 here if you're up for it
 C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste
 inglés. Puedo intentar seguir
 flirteando en español pero mis
 habilidades españolas son pobres
 6 min ng
 See it's times like this
 where I wish I knew
 spanish
 Btw this is amazing
 I'm very impressed
 Vanessa 54min ag0
 For a low effort reply, read part A
 For an overly-sexual response, read
 part B.
 Para Español, sigue al C
 A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was
 possible to live down here without
 knowing any Spanish
 B: If I can get them digits I'll send
 you a photo of something else that'll
 impress
 C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos
 de humor tardio, normaimente soy
 mejor en este tipo de cosas
 47 min、ago
 Omg
 I'm having my friend
 translate this Spanish
 me
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard low effort response, B for
 overly-sexual response, y C para
 Español
 A: Haha your friend will probably be
 able to tell you how bad my Spanish
 actually is. In fact, I've been using
 Google translate to help. But shh
 keep that on the down low... Our
 B: This Spanish friend of yours
 single? 1 always had a thing for
 C: Lo sentimos, pero Google
 translate ha detectado un error. Por
 favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde.
 4 min ago
 1. My friend isn't a girl
 2. Why you tryna get
 with my friend here
 when you're talking to
 3. That spanish part
 was funny why'd you
 send me that Imfao
 Vanessa 26 min ago
 Choose your own adventure! A for
 standard response, B for overly-
 sexual response, y C para Español.
 A: My apologies, B can sometimes
 get a little out of hand. I'm not
 interested in the friend. It's just that
 B tries hard to be overly sexual and
 when the only thing in your reply
 was that you're having a friend
 translate, he had to run with it. He
 means well and deep down B is
 actually a mature and reasonable
 C: Has enviado demasiadas
 solicitudes de traducción. Por favor,
 inténtelo de nuevo más tarde
 min ag
 Boy you're ridiculous
 I can't keep up with 3
 GIF
 a message
Triple threat
                
            

            
            
Triple threat

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Bailey Jay, Dude, and Fresh: oo Verizon
 2:03 PM
 Q Search
 Heathans Dan
 Yesterday at 10:08 AM-
 Today at work I found some Wild Corndogs growing in their
 natural habitat. This was real exciting for me as I have never
 picked fresh corndogs before, but I have no idea how to tel
 when they are ripe as they tasted horrible no matter how
 much mustard I put on them
 22.5K Shares
 Like
 Share
 News Feed
 Requests
 Messenger
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 More
prancingtrashcan:


cynicowl:

randomdaisy:

limbovulture:

@randomdaisy dear herbologist what the fok is this corn dog plant

OH MY GOODNESS I SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND I WAS LIKE “OH NO…. DUDE… DUDE NO”


this plant is, in fact, a cattail (Typha genus, probably either Typha latifolia or Typha angustifolia).  what’s ironic about this person’s encounter is that almost every single part of the cattail is edible– the rhizomes are starchy and, although tough, can be made into a nutritious flour; the stems can be peeled and used like asparagus; the pollen can be gathered and used to extend or supplement flour; and even the green flower spikes can be boiled and eaten like corn-on-the-cob, so this person sort of had the right idea.


the thing is, what this person has in their photo is a BROWN flower spike, meaning that it’s starting to go to seed and is probably a tasteless mouthful of either fiber or fluff.  regardless of whether the post is a joke or serious, out of all the edible parts of the cattail, op managed to pick one of the ONLY parts of the plant that isn’t.  and i still can’t get over that. 

As a side note, rubbing that part of the plant makes an absolutely ridiculous amount of fluff come out (which is how it disperses the seeds). I highly recommend it but it’s probably best to do that when no one else is around





are you saying i can jack off this plant and it will nut

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bailey Jay, Dude, and Fresh: oo Verizon
 2:03 PM
 Q Search
 Heathans Dan
 Yesterday at 10:08 AM-
 Today at work I found some Wild Corndogs growing in their
 natural habitat. This was real exciting for me as I have never
 picked fresh corndogs before, but I have no idea how to tel
 when they are ripe as they tasted horrible no matter how
 much mustard I put on them
 22.5K Shares
 Like
 Share
 News Feed
 Requests
 Messenger
 Notifications
 More
prancingtrashcan:


cynicowl:

randomdaisy:

limbovulture:

@randomdaisy dear herbologist what the fok is this corn dog plant

OH MY GOODNESS I SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND I WAS LIKE “OH NO…. DUDE… DUDE NO”


this plant is, in fact, a cattail (Typha genus, probably either Typha latifolia or Typha angustifolia).  what’s ironic about this person’s encounter is that almost every single part of the cattail is edible– the rhizomes are starchy and, although tough, can be made into a nutritious flour; the stems can be peeled and used like asparagus; the pollen can be gathered and used to extend or supplement flour; and even the green flower spikes can be boiled and eaten like corn-on-the-cob, so this person sort of had the right idea.


the thing is, what this person has in their photo is a BROWN flower spike, meaning that it’s starting to go to seed and is probably a tasteless mouthful of either fiber or fluff.  regardless of whether the post is a joke or serious, out of all the edible parts of the cattail, op managed to pick one of the ONLY parts of the plant that isn’t.  and i still can’t get over that. 

As a side note, rubbing that part of the plant makes an absolutely ridiculous amount of fluff come out (which is how it disperses the seeds). I highly recommend it but it’s probably best to do that when no one else is around





are you saying i can jack off this plant and it will nut

                
            

            
            
prancingtrashcan:


cynicowl:

randomdaisy:

limbovulture:

@randomdaisy dear herbologist what the fok is this corn dog plant

OH MY GOODNES...