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My Backpack: elidyce: luckyladylily: ohnoagremlin: itsvondell: off-in-lala-land: You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip the game from his hands, stash it in my backpack, and force him to enjoy history goddamnit. This vacation cost a lot and the game is only for the hotel and travel time. imagine trying to force someone to think that stonehenge is fun take your kids places they actually want to go instead of getting mad when they quietly self-entertain, he’s not hurting nobody. me & my shitbag siblings would be climbing that fucking thing, gameboy kid is doing alright Some small child: does not yet have the mental development or contextual understanding to appreciate why these particular rocks are extra interesting. Some adult: God I hate that children don’t think like adults! I would force them to pretend they do because I interpret child thought patterns as a personal insult! Child: *looks at rocks for approx. 30 seconds, listens to vaguely interesting story about them for another minute or so, glances at the rocks again, is Now Done. Parent: I understand that your attention span has done all it can with the stimulation provided. Here is your gameboy to keep you entertained while the adults talk about things you don’t find interesting, like the history of very large rocks. Child: *quietly squats down and plays with the gameboy, allowing adults to enjoy their rocks* Parent: I am very glad that I understand to some extent how children’s minds work, or this holiday would be a miserable experience for both of us. How fortunate that I planned ahead to allow my child periods of rest and quiet entertainment during excursions that are primarily for my benefit and enjoyment.
My Backpack: elidyce:

luckyladylily:

ohnoagremlin:

itsvondell:

off-in-lala-land:

You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip the game from his hands, stash it in my backpack, and force him to enjoy history goddamnit. This vacation cost a lot and the game is only for the hotel and travel time.

imagine trying to force someone to think that stonehenge is fun


take your kids places they actually want to go instead of getting mad when they quietly self-entertain, he’s not hurting nobody. me & my shitbag siblings would be climbing that fucking thing, gameboy kid is doing alright 


Some small child: does not yet have the mental development or contextual understanding to appreciate why these particular rocks are extra interesting.
Some adult: God I hate that children don’t think like adults! I would force them to pretend they do because I interpret child thought patterns as a personal insult!

Child: *looks at rocks for approx. 30 seconds, listens to vaguely interesting story about them for another minute or so, glances at the rocks again, is Now Done.
Parent: I understand that your attention span has done all it can with the stimulation provided. Here is your gameboy to keep you entertained while the adults talk about things you don’t find interesting, like the history of very large rocks.
Child: *quietly squats down and plays with the gameboy, allowing adults to enjoy their rocks*
Parent: I am very glad that I understand to some extent how children’s minds work, or this holiday would be a miserable experience for both of us. How fortunate that I planned ahead to allow my child periods of rest and quiet entertainment during excursions that are primarily for my benefit and enjoyment.

elidyce: luckyladylily: ohnoagremlin: itsvondell: off-in-lala-land: You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d...

My Backpack: rockatransky: on occasion, i browse the clearance racks at overpriced hipster-y boutiques cause from time to time you can find amazing deals, but being in Rich People Places always makes me a little nervous- and today when i was picking up a layaway from one of these shops, my nerves resulted in a story the shopkeepers are probably gonna be telling for quite a while. i'd just come from the feed store for lizard food (ie: bugs), and it was like 95F out so they were slowly being smothered to death in my backpack. so when the clerk, who i'd overheard was only on her second day working there, gave me my fancy sundress in a bag way too big for it, i pulled out two dozen crickets in a plastic bag and a tub full of mealworms from my pack and set them gently on the bag so they could breathe better till i got home. this girl's eyes go wide and she looks imploringly back at the equally startled-looking manager helping her through the transaction, and i realize that this might look a little weird to folks who aren't reptile keepers. so, instead of doing the logical thing and explaining that i'm feeding leopard geckos, i sorta chuckled and shrugged apologetically, and just said "dinner, y'know?" for the briefest of moments, there was an awkward silence so sweaty and suffocating you could drown in it, and then, in true daytime comedy fashion, the fucking crickets started chirping so i guess i'm never going back there ever again. Welp, time to go hide under a rock with the lizards
My Backpack: rockatransky:
 on occasion, i browse the clearance racks at overpriced hipster-y
 boutiques cause from time to time you can find amazing deals, but
 being in Rich People Places always makes me a little nervous- and
 today when i was picking up a layaway from one of these shops, my
 nerves resulted in a story the shopkeepers are probably gonna be
 telling for quite a while.
 i'd just come from the feed store for lizard food (ie: bugs), and it was
 like 95F out so they were slowly being smothered to death in my
 backpack. so when the clerk, who i'd overheard was only on her
 second day working there, gave me my fancy sundress in a bag way
 too big for it, i pulled out two dozen crickets in a plastic bag and a tub
 full of mealworms from my pack and set them gently on the bag so
 they could breathe better till i got home.
 this girl's eyes go wide and she looks imploringly back at the equally
 startled-looking manager helping her through the transaction, and i
 realize that this might look a little weird to folks who aren't reptile
 keepers. so, instead of doing the logical thing and explaining that i'm
 feeding leopard geckos, i sorta chuckled and shrugged apologetically,
 and just said "dinner, y'know?"
 for the briefest of moments, there was an awkward silence so sweaty
 and suffocating you could drown in it, and then, in true daytime
 comedy fashion,
 the fucking crickets started chirping
 so i guess i'm never going back there ever again.
Welp, time to go hide under a rock with the lizards

Welp, time to go hide under a rock with the lizards

My Backpack: FUNNIEST THINGS KIDS HAVE SAID TO THEIR TEACHERS Student A I can spel my mom's namel Me: Oh yeah? How do you spes ? Student A: M-0-M Sbudent 8: That's how you spel MY Not reaily overheard, the kid said it directly to me. I was tying a kindergarten boy's shoes, when he casualy tels me "I eat corn every night', then walked away I have a bear trap in my backpack, want to see? A student at my school got suspended for calling the IT teacher a PDFle I sometimes let my first graders eat with me in the classroom for ๆunch club". One day, I was sitting with a group of my six-year- reeding jokes n out of jokes, se telling their the gorite pick his nose? Because he was crary,.) One of m students says, What did the an say to the hair dryer? WHY EACH OTHER? 1 coutd breathe from aughing so hard, and none of my students understood why, They just thought it must have been rely great har dryer joke. My teacher had a wall full of kids saying stupid things One of them was Aren't dnosaurs Write x10 How do you spell x There's a usisen, ending with the year. Every time this kid is near my fe during tis moming reual, she hears im whisper 1912" to hims 1 taught daycare for four years. My favonite was when a four year-old would curse, t usually went lke this: "She. ๆ0ck said, shit.'" "Ms. Fickwitch, they said 'shit."" "wro said shit'?" my dad says you can't say she. My dad says 'shit 1 had astudent who thought the DC in washington DC stood for "da What was Jesus's first name? Not exacthy à dass room but 'sard this whei t worked with kindergarden children, we book them on an outing one aftemoon and an accusing l con ised look epicjohndoe: Nicely Done, Kids
nsfw
My Backpack: FUNNIEST THINGS KIDS HAVE SAID TO
 THEIR TEACHERS
 Student A I can spel my mom's namel Me: Oh yeah? How do you
 spes ? Student A: M-0-M Sbudent 8: That's how you spel MY
 Not reaily overheard, the kid said it directly to me. I was tying a
 kindergarten boy's shoes, when he casualy tels me "I eat corn
 every night', then walked away
 I have a bear trap in my backpack, want to see?
 A student at my school got suspended for calling the IT teacher
 a PDFle
 I sometimes let my first graders eat with me in the classroom for
 ๆunch club". One day, I was sitting with a group of my six-year-
 reeding jokes
 n out of jokes, se
 telling their
 the gorite pick his nose? Because he was crary,.) One of m
 students says, What did the an say to the hair dryer? WHY
 EACH OTHER? 1 coutd
 breathe from
 aughing so hard, and none of my students understood why, They
 just thought it must have been rely great har dryer joke.
 My teacher had a wall full of kids saying stupid things
 One of them was Aren't dnosaurs
 Write x10
 How do you spell x
 There's a
 usisen, ending with the year. Every time this kid is near my fe
 during tis moming reual, she hears im whisper 1912" to hims
 1 taught daycare for four years. My favonite was when a four
 year-old would curse, t usually went lke this:
 "She. ๆ0ck said, shit.'" "Ms. Fickwitch, they said 'shit."" "wro
 said shit'?" my dad says you can't say she. My dad says 'shit
 1 had astudent who thought the DC in washington DC stood for "da
 What was Jesus's first name?
 Not exacthy à dass room but 'sard this whei t worked with
 kindergarden children, we book them on an outing one aftemoon and
 an accusing l con ised look
epicjohndoe:

Nicely Done, Kids

epicjohndoe: Nicely Done, Kids

My Backpack: Chan ce Ward on Tuesday So I'm in the gym today (getting my life to Truffle Butter on this elliptical ofc) when the girl next to me asks her friend if she has an extra tampon. Realizing that I overheard, she looked up and literally apologized to me, clearly embarrassed af Me being me, I hit ha with the "girl, u gucci" before reaching down into my fanny pack and giving her one of the tampons I keep in there. By the look on her face you would have thought I did a magic trick and pulled 36 titty-tasseled bunny rabbits out that damn bag This is so sad. Why don't y'all love y'all friends that menstruate? Like men will make whole guest rooms in their house just in case someone needs to stay. But god forbid that person menstruate because I bet you won't be no extra pads or tampons under that guest bathroom sink. Like why? Y'all know literally like half this world goes through this? Ugh anyway to all my menstruating friends, if y'all need it, know I got it. I keep some in my fanny pack when I go to the gym, and some in my backpack all the time. Never feel embarrassed for asking for one. Never feel embarrassed for being human @everyone who doesn't menstruate: keep your menstruating friends in mind and stop being so shitty 9,06948 2,480 twentyonelizards: lostwednesdays: Guys who think periods are nbd are my favorite guys. Also: I wanna add as well that he didn’t write ‘women’, he wrote ‘people who menstruate’. Dude is cool on every conceivable level.
My Backpack: Chan ce Ward
 on Tuesday
 So I'm in the gym today (getting my life to Truffle
 Butter on this elliptical ofc) when the girl next to me
 asks her friend if she has an extra tampon.
 Realizing that I overheard, she looked up and
 literally apologized to me, clearly embarrassed af
 Me being me, I hit ha with the "girl, u gucci" before
 reaching down into my fanny pack and giving her
 one of the tampons I keep in there. By the look on
 her face you would have thought I did a magic trick
 and pulled 36 titty-tasseled bunny rabbits out that
 damn bag
 This is so sad. Why don't y'all love y'all friends that
 menstruate? Like men will make whole guest
 rooms in their house just in case someone needs
 to stay. But god forbid that person menstruate
 because I bet you won't be no extra pads or
 tampons under that guest bathroom sink.
 Like why? Y'all know literally like half this world
 goes through this?
 Ugh anyway to all my menstruating friends, if y'all
 need it, know I got it. I keep some in my fanny pack
 when I go to the gym, and some in my backpack all
 the time. Never feel embarrassed for asking for
 one. Never feel embarrassed for being human
 @everyone who doesn't menstruate: keep your
 menstruating friends in mind and stop being so
 shitty
 9,06948 2,480
twentyonelizards:

lostwednesdays:

Guys who think periods are nbd are my favorite guys.
Also:

I wanna add as well that he didn’t write ‘women’, he wrote ‘people who menstruate’. Dude is cool on every conceivable level.

twentyonelizards: lostwednesdays: Guys who think periods are nbd are my favorite guys. Also: I wanna add as well that he didn’t write...