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Ash, Bad, and Chill: Sat, Jun 22, 18:36 Hello traveller, I am your guide. Are you ready to begin your quest? Hello stranger, what do I need to do, to complete your request. You have to recover a long time lost manuscript held by a famous necromancer. Your journey begins in a forest. The left of you is a mountain with a large boulder blocking it's entrance, in front of you is an ancient graveyard. Some of the greatest heroes of the realm rest there I would like to investigate the grave- yard of it looks chill or haunted. Not strong enough to push that boulder As you enter the graveyard you notice old tombstones crumbling, scribed in language too ancient to be known by any living creature. While searching around you find a crypt, the front door has been knocked open, you can hear a soft gust of wind coming from inside. I copy the ancient text, best as possible. I use 'produce flame' when I enter the crypt. As you go in the light from your spell fills the room, you notice the coffins that adorn the walls and a spiral staircase that leads further down, at the bottom of it lies a large room, broken pillars, and a statue of Sild, the Warlock. A very powerful wizard from centuries past. Further away, with barely any light around it, you see a creature in a black robe facing away, as it ignores you on purpouse. There's a corpse on an alter in front of it, and it's hands deep inside it As I enter the room I go "excuuuuuse me, but it's not nice to sacrifice people" en hold my flame ready to attack if he would attack me... The creature in black turns annoyed by your interference, you see a beetle crawl out of it's eye socket, it's deformed face makes your stomach sick, as you think that eating all those fries before entering a graveyard was a bad idea. A purple light starts forming as he moves his hands together With a quick look around you notice a large floating orb 3 meters above the creature's head. You remember the old legend of Sild's orb, which he used teleport anywhere in the world. Nasty! God damn it those fries! I shoot my flame to the orb so the bug guy can't escape. And pull out my scimitar ready to attack As your flame hits, the orb shatters into what seems to be glass spikes, flying everywhere, further damaging the room. Some hit the creature, tearing his black robes just to reveal pieces of rotting flesh. The stench of death takes over the room, you can't hold those fries anymore, as you make an effort to not puke onto your brand new heels -and you hear your own voice in your head WHY WOULD YOU GO INTO A GRAVEYARD USING HEELS WOMAN ? As you get distracted, the creature fires his spell, you quickly block it with your scimitar, but it flies away from your hand. You are disarmed and the creature starts running in your direction "I DON'T I WANTED SOMETHING DIFFERENT THEN THE USUAL SNEAKERS as I replied to my own question. I take them of hold them as a weapon ready to defend myself against the ugly bug dude. And try to figure out if I can back to my scimitar. As you dual-wield your brand new puke-free heels you notice a two fast moving shadows moving behind the creature. Desperation starts to hit as you are outnumbered and your scimitar is nowhere to be seen, suddenly the shadows jump onto the creatures head and start attacking him. IT'S YOUR FAMILIARS, your thank yourself for installing that catdoor years ago. The creature loses balance just as it reaches you, slipping and faceplanting your puddle fries and cola that rested on the floor. You plunge it's head with both heels. It explodes and the creature slowly starts turning into ashes... You give a well deserved pet to them. The comforting purring sounds fills the room, you feel safe now. One of your familiars starts digging into the ash pile, as he found something of value there. IT'S A FORTUNE COOKIE! I go like "Oooh cookie!" I break it open and eat the cookie while I read. And also keep petting them, like a good rub under the chin. You slowly chew the cookie, the slight chocolate taste is well welcome at this moment, unravel the note, and it says , hit me up for fries & movies sometime. Sept Her profile said she was into RPGs
Ash, Bad, and Chill: Sat, Jun 22, 18:36
 Hello traveller, I am your guide. Are you
 ready to begin your quest?
 Hello stranger, what do I need to do,
 to complete your request.
 You have to recover a long time
 lost manuscript held by a famous
 necromancer. Your journey begins in a
 forest. The left of you is a mountain with
 a large boulder blocking it's entrance,
 in front of you is an ancient graveyard.
 Some of the greatest heroes of the
 realm rest there
 I would like to investigate the grave-
 yard of it looks chill or haunted. Not
 strong enough to push that boulder
 As you enter the graveyard you notice
 old tombstones crumbling, scribed in
 language too ancient to be known by
 any living creature. While searching
 around you find a crypt, the front door
 has been knocked open, you can hear
 a soft gust of wind coming from inside.
 I copy the ancient text, best as
 possible. I use 'produce flame' when I
 enter the crypt.
 As you go in the light from your spell
 fills the room, you notice the coffins that
 adorn the walls and a spiral staircase
 that leads further down, at the bottom
 of it lies a large room, broken pillars,
 and a statue of Sild, the Warlock. A very
 powerful wizard from centuries past.
 Further away, with barely any light
 around it, you see a creature in a black
 robe facing away, as it ignores you on
 purpouse. There's a corpse on an alter
 in front of it, and it's hands deep inside
 it
 As I enter the room I go "excuuuuuse
 me, but it's not nice to sacrifice
 people" en hold my flame ready to
 attack if he would attack me...
 The creature in black turns annoyed
 by your interference, you see a
 beetle crawl out of it's eye socket, it's
 deformed face makes your stomach
 sick, as you think that eating all those
 fries before entering a graveyard was
 a bad idea. A purple light starts forming
 as he moves his hands together
 With a quick look around you notice a
 large floating orb 3 meters above the
 creature's head. You remember the
 old legend of Sild's orb, which he used
 teleport anywhere in the world.
 Nasty! God damn it those fries! I shoot
 my flame to the orb so the bug guy
 can't escape. And pull out my scimitar
 ready to attack
 As your flame hits, the orb shatters into
 what seems to be glass spikes, flying
 everywhere, further damaging the
 room. Some hit the creature, tearing
 his black robes just to reveal pieces of
 rotting flesh. The stench of death takes
 over the room, you can't hold those
 fries anymore, as you make an effort
 to not puke onto your brand new heels
 -and you hear your own voice in your
 head WHY WOULD YOU GO INTO A
 GRAVEYARD USING HEELS WOMAN ?
 As you get distracted, the creature
 fires his spell, you quickly block it with
 your scimitar, but it flies away from
 your hand. You are disarmed and the
 creature starts running in your direction
 "I DON'T I WANTED SOMETHING
 DIFFERENT THEN THE USUAL
 SNEAKERS as I replied to my own
 question. I take them of hold them
 as a weapon ready to defend myself
 against the ugly bug dude. And try to
 figure out if I can back to my scimitar.
 As you dual-wield your brand new
 puke-free heels you notice a two fast
 moving shadows moving behind the
 creature. Desperation starts to hit as
 you are outnumbered and your scimitar
 is nowhere to be seen, suddenly the
 shadows jump onto the creatures head
 and start attacking him. IT'S YOUR
 FAMILIARS, your thank yourself for
 installing that catdoor years ago.
 The creature loses balance just as it
 reaches you, slipping and faceplanting
 your puddle fries and cola that rested
 on the floor.
 You plunge it's head with both heels. It
 explodes and the creature slowly starts
 turning into ashes... You give a well
 deserved pet to them. The comforting
 purring sounds fills the room, you feel
 safe now. One of your familiars starts
 digging into the ash pile, as he found
 something of value there.
 IT'S A FORTUNE COOKIE!
 I go like "Oooh cookie!" I break it open
 and eat the cookie while I read. And
 also keep petting them, like a good
 rub under the chin.
 You slowly chew the cookie, the slight
 chocolate taste is well welcome at this
 moment, unravel the note, and it says
 , hit me up for fries &
 movies sometime.
 Sept
Her profile said she was into RPGs

Her profile said she was into RPGs

Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED of only they taught beauty class like this Best description of sugar scrub ever.
Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders
 ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN
 SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR
 NOTEPAD
 THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW
 YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I
 KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE
 FUCKERS
 YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT
 YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN
 THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM
 TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A
 NEWBORN
 sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND
 SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND
 MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART
 OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL
 BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO
 SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL
 THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR
 MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU
 WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM
 SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
 NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED
 PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE
 BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND
 SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS
 VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE
 NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND
 SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A
 HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER
 THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near
 your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really
 important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way
 its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR
 HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS
 WORKING
 NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU
 HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN
 EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN
 BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF
 BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
 GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT
 WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF
 YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS
 CLASS DISMISSED
 of only they taught beauty class like this
Best description of sugar scrub ever.

Best description of sugar scrub ever.

Animals, Bad, and Butt: goddamnshinyrock: why-animals-do-the-thing: wolfforce58205: zooophagous: caong: zooophagous: theexoticvet: Tick season is already in full swing and it’s going to be one of the worst years for ticks and lyme disease. Make sure your pets are on flea/tick/heartworm prevention and get your dogs vaccinated against lyme! The sun is shining and the grass is green in minnesota today, what a lovely beginning to the impending TICKPOCALYPSE Remember to cover yourselves appropriately if you’re going places with lots of wildlife! Ticks are dangerous for people as well as pets! I’ve always heard to avoid long pants because ticks are easier to notice and remove when they try to climb a bare leg, but I think it’s a matter of preference tbh. What you really need is to use a good repellant made for use in tick heavy areas. I’m not talking citronella essential oils, I mean a real repellant like Deep woods OFF that uses DDT. Spray it on your shoes and inside your shoes. You would be surprised how many ticks start in your socks and work their way up. I have had waaaaaay fewer guests on me after spraying my shoes as well as my legs. If you want to get REALLY serious you can treat your hiking gear in permethrin, or get permethrin treated exercise gear. It’s a very potent, effective substance that kills ticks and other parasites on contact. It’s present in some flea and tick treatments for dogs. But the kicker is, permethrin is also VERY toxic to cats, so if you have a cat and you feel like you need permethrin treated gear, you MUST keep the gear where kitty can’t get it. Friendly reminder to stock up on tick meds for your pets, and repellent for yourself! This year is going to be a BAD one. ALWAYS check yourself after a hike, or any trip outside. Wear bright clothes so it’s easier to see ticks on you, and make sure to do a full-body check when you’re done. This includes checking your hair line and under waistbands or underwear (last tick I found on me was on my butt, and I had been hiking with pants and a long shirt on…trust me, check under your underwear). Remove ticks as soon as you find them, and keep them in a small container or bag (heads completely squished) for identification purposes just in case your bite looks iffy later on. Clean the bite site thoroughly. Be on the look out for any flu-like symptoms, rashes, or red rings around the bite site like a bulls-eye (note: a slight red ring right afterward is normal, see below for what “bad” looks like). Usually if you get a tick off in the first 24 hours you’ll be ok, so long as you didn’t agitate the tick, but if you notice anything abnormal go to the doctor ASAP. If your tick was engorged when removed, be especially on the lookout. It’s always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to the nasty diseases ticks can carry. Remember: if you’re buying tick preventatives for your pets, make sure you get one that’s meant for them. Don’t use dog-specific medicine on cats, or vice-versa, and make sure you get the correct weight range for your pet. Failure to do so can lead to serious complications for your pets. If you’re not sure what you should use or what’s safe for pets, contact your local veterinarian and ask. If your pet is bitten by a tick and displays any abnormal behaviors or symptoms of sickness get them to your vet as soon as you can and bring the tick with you. This has been your tick safety reminder post for the season. Reblogging for both human tick safety and the note that permethrin is really deadly to cats. important addition: when you come in from your outdoors activity, as you do your tick check put the clothes you were wearing directly into the wash (or, if you can’t wash them immediately for some reason, into a sealed plastic bag). Don’t sit on your furniture, don’t put the clothes in your hamper with your other things, and don’t delay the tick check. If a tick is on the removed clothing and the clothing isn’t cleaned, they’ll head for the nearest delicious mammal, whether that’s a person or a pet. After you quarantine your clothes and check your whole body (get a buddy or use a mirror for your back), it’s also wise to shower, although that’s by no means foolproof, and won’t have any effect if a tick has already latched on.  When you do your check, focus on the crevices of your body- on people and animals, ticks are most likely to latch on in warm and protected areas. This means that the groin, underarms, and scalp are a prime tick buffet, as well as under your bra and (as someone above said) under your waistband, or any other area where your clothing fits snugly. On pets, they’ll concentrate in the thicker fur at the neck, behind the ears, and in the ‘armpits’, but you’ll likely also find a few elsewhere on the body, especially on pets with fluffy coats.
Animals, Bad, and Butt: goddamnshinyrock:

why-animals-do-the-thing:

wolfforce58205:

zooophagous:

caong:


zooophagous:

theexoticvet:
Tick season is already in full swing and it’s going to be one of the worst years for ticks and lyme disease. Make sure your pets are on flea/tick/heartworm prevention and get your dogs vaccinated against lyme!

The sun is shining and the grass is green in minnesota today, what a lovely beginning to the impending TICKPOCALYPSE

Remember to cover yourselves appropriately if you’re going places with lots of wildlife! Ticks are dangerous for people as well as pets!


I’ve always heard to avoid long pants because ticks are easier to notice and remove when they try to climb a bare leg, but I think it’s a matter of preference tbh.
What you really need is to use a good repellant made for use in tick heavy areas. I’m not talking citronella essential oils, I mean a real repellant like Deep woods OFF that uses DDT. Spray it on your shoes and inside your shoes. You would be surprised how many ticks start in your socks and work their way up. I have had waaaaaay fewer guests on me after spraying my shoes as well as my legs.
If you want to get REALLY serious you can treat your hiking gear in permethrin, or get permethrin treated exercise gear. It’s a very potent, effective substance that kills ticks and other parasites on contact. It’s present in some flea and tick treatments for dogs. But the kicker is, permethrin is also VERY toxic to cats, so if you have a cat and you feel like you need permethrin treated gear, you MUST keep the gear where kitty can’t get it.

Friendly reminder to stock up on tick meds for your pets, and repellent for yourself! This year is going to be a BAD one.
ALWAYS check yourself after a hike, or any trip outside. Wear bright clothes so it’s easier to see ticks on you, and make sure to do a full-body check when you’re done. This includes checking your hair line and under waistbands or underwear (last tick I found on me was on my butt, and I had been hiking with pants and a long shirt on…trust me, check under your underwear).
Remove ticks as soon as you find them, and keep them in a small container or bag (heads completely squished) for identification purposes just in case your bite looks iffy later on. Clean the bite site thoroughly. Be on the look out for any flu-like symptoms, rashes, or red rings around the bite site like a bulls-eye (note: a slight red ring right afterward is normal, see below for what “bad” looks like). Usually if you get a tick off in the first 24 hours you’ll be ok, so long as you didn’t agitate the tick, but if you notice anything abnormal go to the doctor ASAP. If your tick was engorged when removed, be especially on the lookout. It’s always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to the nasty diseases ticks can carry.
Remember: if you’re buying tick preventatives for your pets, make sure you get one that’s meant for them. Don’t use dog-specific medicine on cats, or vice-versa, and make sure you get the correct weight range for your pet. Failure to do so can lead to serious complications for your pets. If you’re not sure what you should use or what’s safe for pets, contact your local veterinarian and ask. If your pet is bitten by a tick and displays any abnormal behaviors or symptoms of sickness get them to your vet as soon as you can and bring the tick with you.
This has been your tick safety reminder post for the season.

Reblogging for both human tick safety and the note that permethrin is really deadly to cats.

important addition: when you come in from your outdoors activity, as you do your tick check put the clothes you were wearing directly into the wash (or, if you can’t wash them immediately for some reason, into a sealed plastic bag). Don’t sit on your furniture, don’t put the clothes in your hamper with your other things, and don’t delay the tick check. If a tick is on the removed clothing and the clothing isn’t cleaned, they’ll head for the nearest delicious mammal, whether that’s a person or a pet. After you quarantine your clothes and check your whole body (get a buddy or use a mirror for your back), it’s also wise to shower, although that’s by no means foolproof, and won’t have any effect if a tick has already latched on. 
When you do your check, focus on the crevices of your body- on people and animals, ticks are most likely to latch on in warm and protected areas. This means that the groin, underarms, and scalp are a prime tick buffet, as well as under your bra and (as someone above said) under your waistband, or any other area where your clothing fits snugly. On pets, they’ll concentrate in the thicker fur at the neck, behind the ears, and in the ‘armpits’, but you’ll likely also find a few elsewhere on the body, especially on pets with fluffy coats.

goddamnshinyrock: why-animals-do-the-thing: wolfforce58205: zooophagous: caong: zooophagous: theexoticvet: Tick season is already in ...