🔥 | Latest

Bad, College, and Driving: GOING To A PARTY WORST-CASE MGH, WHO INVITED BEST-CASE THAT SHIRTTHAI WAS A GOOD IDEA? WHAT'S MOST LIKELy TO HAPPEN I THINK IMIGHT HEAD HOME SOON NEAH ME TOO. College DRIVING WORST-CASE WHAT HAVE You DONE? BEST-CASE FREEDOMI WHAT'S MOST LIKELy TO HAPPEN UGH, I-65 TRAFFIC ALWAyS SUcKS AT THIS TIME AND uPAGAIN, THAT POP SONG YOU'RE INDIFFERENT TO! Colle GOING ON A FIRST DATE WORST-CASE BEST-CASE Well, hello there, Sabella Martinez who lives at 3b5 Sunse+ Avenve BEFORE TONIGHT THOUGHT THE DEA OF A SOULMATE WAS A MYTH WHAT'S MOST LIKELy TO HAPPEN OH, yOU HAVE TWO SISTERS? EAH, THEY'RE FINE oleaelHumon GIVING A SPEECH WORST-CASE BEST-CASE TECHNICAL ERROR: ERY THING IS BAD WORLD PROBLEMS OLVED. NOU'RE A FRAUD HERE'S A B00k DEAL 00! MANE My BABIES Ol WHAT'S MOST LIKELy TO HAPPEN IN CONCLUSION WE SHOULD CHANGE SOME THINGS, BUT NoT EVERYTHING. THAT SOUNDS REASONABLE. TIME paperparachute: castorochiaro: pr1nceshawn: Worst Case vs. Best Case Scenarios by Karina Farek. This is a great joke, but it’s also a wonderful strategy for reducing anxiety that I learned about in therapy. If you’re ever nervous about something, just ask yourself: what’s the best thing that can happen? What’s the worst thing? What will most likely happen? It does wonders for your nerves, really does. My counsellor walks me through this all the time and it works??
Bad, College, and Driving: GOING To A PARTY
 WORST-CASE
 MGH, WHO INVITED
 BEST-CASE
 THAT SHIRTTHAI
 WAS A
 GOOD IDEA?
 WHAT'S MOST LIKELy TO HAPPEN
 I THINK IMIGHT
 HEAD HOME SOON
 NEAH
 ME TOO.
 College

 DRIVING
 WORST-CASE
 WHAT HAVE
 You DONE?
 BEST-CASE
 FREEDOMI
 WHAT'S MOST LIKELy TO HAPPEN
 UGH, I-65 TRAFFIC
 ALWAyS SUcKS
 AT THIS TIME
 AND uPAGAIN, THAT
 POP SONG YOU'RE
 INDIFFERENT TO!
 Colle

 GOING ON A FIRST DATE
 WORST-CASE
 BEST-CASE
 Well, hello there,
 Sabella Martinez
 who lives at 3b5
 Sunse+ Avenve
 BEFORE TONIGHT THOUGHT
 THE DEA OF A SOULMATE
 WAS A MYTH
 WHAT'S MOST LIKELy TO HAPPEN
 OH, yOU HAVE
 TWO SISTERS?
 EAH, THEY'RE
 FINE
 oleaelHumon

 GIVING A SPEECH
 WORST-CASE
 BEST-CASE
 TECHNICAL
 ERROR:
 ERY THING
 IS BAD
 WORLD
 PROBLEMS
 OLVED.
 NOU'RE A
 FRAUD
 HERE'S A
 B00k DEAL
 00! MANE My
 BABIES
 Ol
 WHAT'S MOST LIKELy TO HAPPEN
 IN CONCLUSION
 WE SHOULD CHANGE
 SOME THINGS, BUT
 NoT EVERYTHING.
 THAT SOUNDS
 REASONABLE.
 TIME
paperparachute:

castorochiaro:

pr1nceshawn:



Worst Case vs. Best Case Scenarios by Karina Farek.

This is a great joke, but it’s also a wonderful strategy for reducing anxiety that I learned about in therapy. If you’re ever nervous about something, just ask yourself: what’s the best thing that can happen? What’s the worst thing? What will most likely happen?
It does wonders for your nerves, really does.

My counsellor walks me through this all the time and it works??

paperparachute: castorochiaro: pr1nceshawn: Worst Case vs. Best Case Scenarios by Karina Farek. This is a great joke, but it’s also a ...

Ass, Children, and Jesus: somecunttookmyurl Listen my dudes Ancient Egypt existed for a really fuckass long time. Literally just Pharaonioc civilization lasted 3,000 years. That's not even including predynastic civilization and Roman rule. If you lump that in you're looking at more like... 5,000 years. Like. If you want a comparison of how long that is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2018. TWO THOUSAND. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE 'BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST We comparatively just entered the Third Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take over for another 700~ years. Cleopatra will not be born until the year 2931. It's a really long time guys. somecunttookmyurl Anyway look. Listen. I sat my ass down and of "when shit happened if you started at 1AD" because I know backwards numbers are hard to process but here's an abridged version. If the first Egyptian Pharaoh came to power in 1AD then... 300: step pyramid built 450: Great Pyramid at Giza built 815: Pepi ll dies and civil war breaks out 950: Egypt re-unified 1350: Middle Kingdom ends 1450: New Kingdom begins 1520: Hatshepsut is on the throne 1650: Ahkenaten switches to monotheistic religion and builds a new city 1680: Tutankhamun dies 1720: Ramesses Il 'the great' ascends to the throne 1740: World's first peace treaty signed 1790: Ramesses Il dies leaving way too many children 1920: Egypt breaks into 2 states again And now we get to the futureIf we started at 1AD all of this stuff hasn't happened yet 2050: Briefly re-united as a single state 2180: Civil war 2250: Nubian kings take over 2335: Assyrian conquest 2665: Alexander the Great conquers Egypt 2930: Cleopatra VII born 2970: Cleopatra VII dies. Egypt falls to Rome. Fin. And that's just starting with the Pharaohs. If you wanted to start with Predynastic Egypt you can go ahead and ADD ONE THOUSAND YEARS to all of those dates somecunttookmyurl I hate that this is still getting notes but that it's getting notes *without the timeline addition* like c'mon, man. I had to do MATHS for this. I DID MATHS FOR YOU PEOPLE AND ALL I GOT WAS A BUNCH OF RACISTS i dont know how to feel about this. it makes my brain hurt. thats concerning because ur brain doesnt have nerves like that and cant actually feel anything like ur hand does.
Ass, Children, and Jesus: somecunttookmyurl
 Listen my dudes Ancient Egypt existed for a
 really fuckass long time. Literally just Pharaonioc
 civilization lasted 3,000 years. That's not even
 including predynastic civilization and Roman
 rule. If you lump that in you're looking at more
 like... 5,000 years.
 Like. If you want a comparison of how long that
 is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2018. TWO
 THOUSAND. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT
 EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE
 HAPPENED SINCE THE 'BIRTH OF JESUS
 CHRIST
 We comparatively just entered the Third
 Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take
 over for another 700~ years. Cleopatra will not
 be born until the year 2931.
 It's a really long time guys.
 somecunttookmyurl
 Anyway look. Listen. I sat my ass down and
 of "when shit happened if
 you started at 1AD" because I know backwards
 numbers are hard to process but here's an
 abridged version.
 If the first Egyptian Pharaoh came to power in
 1AD then...
 300: step pyramid built
 450: Great Pyramid at Giza built
 815: Pepi ll dies and civil war breaks out
 950: Egypt re-unified
 1350: Middle Kingdom ends
 1450: New Kingdom begins
 1520: Hatshepsut is on the throne
 1650: Ahkenaten switches to monotheistic
 religion and builds a new city
 1680: Tutankhamun dies
 1720: Ramesses Il 'the great' ascends to the
 throne
 1740: World's first peace treaty signed
 1790: Ramesses Il dies leaving way too many
 children
 1920: Egypt breaks into 2 states again
 And now we get to the futureIf we
 started at 1AD all of this stuff hasn't happened
 yet
 2050: Briefly re-united as a single state
 2180: Civil war
 2250: Nubian kings take over
 2335: Assyrian conquest
 2665: Alexander the Great conquers Egypt
 2930: Cleopatra VII born
 2970: Cleopatra VII dies. Egypt falls to Rome.
 Fin.
 And that's just starting with the Pharaohs. If
 you wanted to start with Predynastic Egypt
 you can go ahead and ADD ONE THOUSAND
 YEARS to all of those dates
 somecunttookmyurl
 I hate that this is still getting notes but that it's
 getting notes *without the timeline addition*
 like c'mon, man. I had to do MATHS for this. I
 DID MATHS FOR YOU PEOPLE AND ALL I GOT
 WAS A BUNCH OF RACISTS
i dont know how to feel about this. it makes my brain hurt. thats concerning because ur brain doesnt have nerves like that and cant actually feel anything like ur hand does.

i dont know how to feel about this. it makes my brain hurt. thats concerning because ur brain doesnt have nerves like that and cant actually...

Fashion, Food, and Fucking: rockatransky: on occasion, i browse the clearance racks at overpriced hipster-y boutiques cause from time to time you can find amazing deals, but being in Rich People Places always makes me a little nervous- and today when i was picking up a layaway from one of these shops, my nerves resulted in a story the shopkeepers are probably gonna be telling for quite a while. i'd just come from the feed store for lizard food (ie: bugs), and it was like 95F out so they were slowly being smothered to death in my backpack. so when the clerk, who i'd overheard was only on her second day working there, gave me my fancy sundress in a bag way too big for it, i pulled out two dozen crickets in a plastic bag and a tub full of mealworms from my pack and set them gently on the bag so they could breathe better till i got home. this girl's eyes go wide and she looks imploringly back at the equally startled-looking manager helping her through the transaction, and i realize that this might look a little weird to folks who aren't reptile keepers. so, instead of doing the logical thing and explaining that i'm feeding leopard geckos, i sorta chuckled and shrugged apologetically, and just said "dinner, y'know?" for the briefest of moments, there was an awkward silence so sweaty and suffocating you could drown in it, and then, in true daytime comedy fashion, the fucking crickets started chirping so i guess i'm never going back there ever again. Welp, time to go hide under a rock with the lizards
Fashion, Food, and Fucking: rockatransky:
 on occasion, i browse the clearance racks at overpriced hipster-y
 boutiques cause from time to time you can find amazing deals, but
 being in Rich People Places always makes me a little nervous- and
 today when i was picking up a layaway from one of these shops, my
 nerves resulted in a story the shopkeepers are probably gonna be
 telling for quite a while.
 i'd just come from the feed store for lizard food (ie: bugs), and it was
 like 95F out so they were slowly being smothered to death in my
 backpack. so when the clerk, who i'd overheard was only on her
 second day working there, gave me my fancy sundress in a bag way
 too big for it, i pulled out two dozen crickets in a plastic bag and a tub
 full of mealworms from my pack and set them gently on the bag so
 they could breathe better till i got home.
 this girl's eyes go wide and she looks imploringly back at the equally
 startled-looking manager helping her through the transaction, and i
 realize that this might look a little weird to folks who aren't reptile
 keepers. so, instead of doing the logical thing and explaining that i'm
 feeding leopard geckos, i sorta chuckled and shrugged apologetically,
 and just said "dinner, y'know?"
 for the briefest of moments, there was an awkward silence so sweaty
 and suffocating you could drown in it, and then, in true daytime
 comedy fashion,
 the fucking crickets started chirping
 so i guess i'm never going back there ever again.
Welp, time to go hide under a rock with the lizards

Welp, time to go hide under a rock with the lizards

Head, Target, and Tumblr: Cleveland Clinic ICE VS. HEAT WHAT'S BETTER FOR YOUR PAIN? Ice and heat are easy, natural, affordable ways to relieve pain. Ever wonder which one is better for your particular problem? Here is what our experts recommend PROBLEM SOLUTION Worn-away cartlage inARTHRITIS joints (knee, shoulder, elbow, fingers, etc.) Moist heat eases chronically stiff joints, relaxes tight muscles Chronic, inflammatory arthritis (big toe, instep, ankle, heel, knee, wrist, FLARE-UPSbs pain Ice calms flare-ups, GOUT finger, elbow, etc.) Pain from nerves or blood vessels in the head or from muscles in the neck HEADACHEIce numbs throbbing head pain Moist heat relaxes painful neck spasm Pulled muscles or injured tendons in the thigh, back, calf, etc. STRAINSIce eases inflammation (redness,sweling and or tenderness), numbs pain Heat eases stiffness after inflammation resolves Stretching or tearing of ligaments in joints like the knee, ankle, foot, elbow, etc. SPRAINS Ice eases inflammation numbs pain Heat relieves stiffness after inflammation resolves Acute irrtation afterTENDINITISce eases inflammation activity in tendons attached to joints like the shoulder, elbow, knee, wrist, heel, etc. numbs pain ronic iitation and TENDINOSIS stiffness in tendons Heat relieves stiffness after inflammation resolves attached to joints WHY ICE FOR INJURIES WHY HEAT FOR ARTHRITIS & INJURIES6 WEEKS OLD? 6 WEEKS OLD? Ice constricts blood vessels which numbs pain, relieves inflammation and limits bruising Heat increases blood flow which relaxes tight muscles and relieves aching joints. CAUTION Do not use heat for acute injuries. It increases inflammation and can delay healing. Sources: niams.nih.gov/Health-Info/Bursitis/#6 headaches.org/education/Headache_Topic_Sheets/Hot_and_Cold_Packs/Showers 2014 Cleveland Clinic Learn more at: clevelandclinic.org/HealthHub singingstranger: cranquis: mydrunkkitchen: americaninfographic: Ice or Heat? THIS IS SO INFORMATIVE! I get asked this question at least twice a week. So here ya go. This is really great, especially for a klutz like me!
Head, Target, and Tumblr: Cleveland Clinic
 ICE VS. HEAT
 WHAT'S BETTER FOR YOUR PAIN?
 Ice and heat are easy, natural, affordable ways to
 relieve pain. Ever wonder which one is better
 for your particular problem?
 Here is what our experts
 recommend

 PROBLEM
 SOLUTION
 Worn-away cartlage inARTHRITIS
 joints (knee, shoulder,
 elbow, fingers, etc.)
 Moist heat eases
 chronically stiff joints,
 relaxes tight muscles
 Chronic, inflammatory
 arthritis (big toe, instep,
 ankle, heel, knee, wrist, FLARE-UPSbs pain
 Ice calms flare-ups,
 GOUT
 finger, elbow, etc.)
 Pain from nerves or
 blood vessels in the
 head or from muscles
 in the neck
 HEADACHEIce numbs throbbing
 head pain
 Moist heat relaxes
 painful neck spasm
 Pulled muscles or
 injured tendons in the
 thigh, back, calf, etc.
 STRAINSIce eases inflammation
 (redness,sweling and or
 tenderness), numbs pain
 Heat eases
 stiffness after
 inflammation resolves
 Stretching or tearing of
 ligaments in joints like
 the knee, ankle, foot,
 elbow, etc.
 SPRAINS
 Ice eases inflammation
 numbs pain
 Heat relieves
 stiffness after
 inflammation resolves

 Acute irrtation afterTENDINITISce eases inflammation
 activity in tendons
 attached to joints like
 the shoulder, elbow,
 knee, wrist, heel, etc.
 numbs pain
 ronic iitation and TENDINOSIS
 stiffness in tendons
 Heat relieves
 stiffness after
 inflammation resolves
 attached to joints
 WHY ICE FOR INJURIES
 WHY HEAT FOR ARTHRITIS
 & INJURIES6 WEEKS OLD?
 6 WEEKS OLD?
 Ice constricts blood vessels
 which numbs pain, relieves
 inflammation and limits bruising
 Heat increases blood flow
 which relaxes tight muscles
 and relieves aching joints.
 CAUTION
 Do not use heat for acute injuries. It increases inflammation and can delay healing.
 Sources:
 niams.nih.gov/Health-Info/Bursitis/#6
 headaches.org/education/Headache_Topic_Sheets/Hot_and_Cold_Packs/Showers
 2014 Cleveland Clinic
 Learn more at: clevelandclinic.org/HealthHub
singingstranger:
cranquis:

mydrunkkitchen:

americaninfographic:
Ice or Heat?
THIS IS SO INFORMATIVE!

I get asked this question at least twice a week. So here ya go.

This is really great, especially for a klutz like me!

singingstranger: cranquis: mydrunkkitchen: americaninfographic: Ice or Heat? THIS IS SO INFORMATIVE! I get asked this question at least t...

Beard, Bless Up, and Bruh: Dog is so friendly and gentle to his tiny piggy @DrSmashlove Say Bruh u know how Twitter users wil out and do Unpopular Opinions? 😂 I’m always jealous because I don’t have a twitter so I can’t twit. But today imma insta my unpopular opinion and y’all can respond. Imma even help y’all with ya responses 😂. Ok? Deal? Here go. Smash’s Friday Afternoon Argumentative Unpopular Opinion: if u eat pork but not dog meat u a hippocrip PROVE ME WRONG 😂❤️. Potential reply No. 1: “easy for u smash ol muslim lookin a$$ ol ramadan Mubarak lookin a$$ ol grow a beard to look righteous but we know u struggle with demons like the rest of us lookin a$$ ol fake woke lookin a$$ is u even a male lookin a$$ or is u a female English PhD catfishing us lookin a$$. Not een a minority lookin a$$. Probably pakistanian lookin a$$ I KNOW U PAKISTANI EEN THO U SAID U AINT LOOKIN A$$. STOP LYIN OSMAN. Lookin a$$. Anyway lookin a$$ that’s easy for u to say! U CANT eat pork! If u could, u would - same way u eat chicken! Arbitrarily line drawing lookin a$$ STOP IT. BEEN WANTING TO SAY ALL THIS TO YA LOOKIN A$$. U DA REAL HIPPOCRIP LOOKIN A$$ ‘bless up 😊’ HAPPY GO LUCKY ALWAYS SMILING LOOKIN A$$ WHAT U SO HAPPY ABOUT SMASH LOW KEY U GET ON MY NERVES BUT I LIKE DOGS SO I STAY FOLLOWING LOOKIN A$$. AND MY FRIENDS THINK U FUNNY BUT I KNOW U A FRAUD LOOKIN A$$ IF 👏 U 👏 LOVED 👏 DOGS 👏 SO 👏 MUCH 👏 U 👏 WOULD 👏 HAVE 👏 A 👏 DOG 👏 LOOKIN 👏 A$$ 👏. Wait do he got a dog? 🤔 PAKISTANIANS AIN GOT DOGS AND HE GOTTA BE PAKISTANIAN WITH HIS LOOKIN A$$ SO IMMA SAY NO - or he a woman? Women love dogs 🤔 aye either way if he was $exy he would post a pic he probably a mutant WITH HIS LOOKIN 👏 A$$ 👏. (How’d I do? Bless up 😂❤️😍)
Beard, Bless Up, and Bruh: Dog is so friendly and gentle to his tiny
 piggy
 @DrSmashlove
Say Bruh u know how Twitter users wil out and do Unpopular Opinions? 😂 I’m always jealous because I don’t have a twitter so I can’t twit. But today imma insta my unpopular opinion and y’all can respond. Imma even help y’all with ya responses 😂. Ok? Deal? Here go. Smash’s Friday Afternoon Argumentative Unpopular Opinion: if u eat pork but not dog meat u a hippocrip PROVE ME WRONG 😂❤️. Potential reply No. 1: “easy for u smash ol muslim lookin a$$ ol ramadan Mubarak lookin a$$ ol grow a beard to look righteous but we know u struggle with demons like the rest of us lookin a$$ ol fake woke lookin a$$ is u even a male lookin a$$ or is u a female English PhD catfishing us lookin a$$. Not een a minority lookin a$$. Probably pakistanian lookin a$$ I KNOW U PAKISTANI EEN THO U SAID U AINT LOOKIN A$$. STOP LYIN OSMAN. Lookin a$$. Anyway lookin a$$ that’s easy for u to say! U CANT eat pork! If u could, u would - same way u eat chicken! Arbitrarily line drawing lookin a$$ STOP IT. BEEN WANTING TO SAY ALL THIS TO YA LOOKIN A$$. U DA REAL HIPPOCRIP LOOKIN A$$ ‘bless up 😊’ HAPPY GO LUCKY ALWAYS SMILING LOOKIN A$$ WHAT U SO HAPPY ABOUT SMASH LOW KEY U GET ON MY NERVES BUT I LIKE DOGS SO I STAY FOLLOWING LOOKIN A$$. AND MY FRIENDS THINK U FUNNY BUT I KNOW U A FRAUD LOOKIN A$$ IF 👏 U 👏 LOVED 👏 DOGS 👏 SO 👏 MUCH 👏 U 👏 WOULD 👏 HAVE 👏 A 👏 DOG 👏 LOOKIN 👏 A$$ 👏. Wait do he got a dog? 🤔 PAKISTANIANS AIN GOT DOGS AND HE GOTTA BE PAKISTANIAN WITH HIS LOOKIN A$$ SO IMMA SAY NO - or he a woman? Women love dogs 🤔 aye either way if he was $exy he would post a pic he probably a mutant WITH HIS LOOKIN 👏 A$$ 👏. (How’d I do? Bless up 😂❤️😍)

Say Bruh u know how Twitter users wil out and do Unpopular Opinions? 😂 I’m always jealous because I don’t have a twitter so I can’t twit. Bu...