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Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how car anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of cörrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes,the pestilent slithy regex-infection wil I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Bąsic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his unholy radiance destroying all enlightenment, HTML tags leakjng frqm your eyes/like liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see i it is beautiful the f inal 4421 snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL IS LOST ALL IS LOST the pory he comes he comese comes tge ichor permeates all MY FACE MY F Fish god no NO NOOOO ΝΘ stop the anges . ạre not rea) ZALGo is TOM) THE PONY HEgOMES Unicöde
Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool
 that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here
 so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions
 are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML
 is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are
 not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to
 me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing
 HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be
 parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions
 Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of
 virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls
 into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide
 The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same
 conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex
 you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the
 One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus
 regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the
 onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too
 late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living
 tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how car
 anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of
 dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach
 between this world and the dread realm of cörrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a
 mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's
 consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes,the pestilent slithy regex-infection wil
 I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Bąsic only worse he
 comes he comes do not fight he comes, his unholy radiance destroying all enlightenment, HTML
 tags leakjng frqm your eyes/like liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish
 the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see i it is beautiful the f inal
 4421
 snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL IS LOST ALL IS LOST the pory he comes he comese comes
 tge ichor permeates all MY FACE MY F Fish god no NO NOOOO ΝΘ stop the anges . ạre not
 rea) ZALGo is TOM) THE PONY HEgOMES
Unicöde

Unicöde

Noooo: NOOOO
nsfw
Noooo: NOOOO

NOOOO

Bored, Facebook, and Fuck You: 88% 9:31 AM rainnecassidy If you're old enough to remember it, you just lost The Game. raggedyanndy proncus I have no idea what's going on here witchaj Back in the early aughts, when many mil- lenials were in high school, before Facebook and Youtube, The Game began. No one knows who started it, but the moment we learned we were playing it, we began to lose. The goal of The Game is to forget you are playing The Game for as long as possible. The rules The Game are as follows: Everyone is ays playing The Game all the time; at school, during breakfast, at night when you are asleep, etc. The Game never ends. The moment you remember that you are playing The Game, you lose and must immediately announce to those around you, "I just lost The Game!" thus making them remember they are also playing The Game and causing them to lose as well. Upon losing, you begin The Game again. Sometimes players could go weeks or months without losing, sometimes only minutes. At the height of The Game's popularity, it became common to see people at events such as Comic Con or midnight movie premieres, wearing t-shirts proclaiming You just lost The Game!" Once they were noticed, groans and shouts of "Fuck you!" could be heard for miles. These people rived on the chaos, taking great pleasure in the cries of their victims. Most people eventually grew bored of The Game, and many began to claim they won by choosing not to care about it anymore. Some rely on a particular XKCD comic strip or Tumblr post to lend a sense of legitimacy to their feeli of victory. They are fools. It is impossible to win The Game. There is only losing. Only a few diehards remain loyal to the rules. The drop in popularity has allowed many to keep m losing The Game for years at a time. The growth of social media has caused a minor resurgence, although without the satisfaction of real time auditory feedback when caus others to lose, The Game will likely fade back into obscurity once again. Someday whern we are old and gray, our grandchildren will innocently ask us to play a game of checkers, and we will shriek and shout until the whole nursing home joins us in defeat. Death is the only release from The Game Source: rainnecassidy #101 #goshi remember this #but also Is this loss?
Bored, Facebook, and Fuck You: 88% 9:31 AM
 rainnecassidy
 If you're old enough to
 remember it, you just
 lost The Game.
 raggedyanndy
 proncus
 I have no idea what's going on here
 witchaj
 Back in the early aughts, when many mil-
 lenials were in high school, before Facebook
 and Youtube, The Game began. No one knows
 who started it, but the moment we learned
 we were playing it, we began to lose. The
 goal of The Game is to forget you are playing
 The Game for as long as possible. The rules
 The Game are as follows: Everyone is
 ays playing The Game all the time; at
 school, during breakfast, at night when you
 are asleep, etc. The Game never ends. The
 moment you remember that you are playing
 The Game, you lose and must immediately
 announce to those around you, "I just lost
 The Game!" thus making them remember
 they are also playing The Game and causing
 them to lose as well. Upon losing, you begin
 The Game again. Sometimes players could go
 weeks or months without losing, sometimes
 only minutes. At the height of The Game's
 popularity, it became common to see people
 at events such as Comic Con or midnight
 movie premieres, wearing t-shirts proclaiming
 You just lost The Game!" Once they were
 noticed, groans and shouts of "Fuck you!"
 could be heard for miles. These people
 rived on the chaos, taking great pleasure
 in the cries of their victims. Most people
 eventually grew bored of The Game, and
 many began to claim they won by choosing
 not to care about it anymore. Some rely on a
 particular XKCD comic strip or Tumblr post
 to lend a sense of legitimacy to their feeli
 of victory. They are fools. It is impossible to
 win The Game. There is only losing. Only a
 few diehards remain loyal to the rules. The
 drop in popularity has allowed many to keep
 m losing The Game for years at a time. The
 growth of social media has caused a minor
 resurgence, although without the satisfaction
 of real time auditory feedback when caus
 others to lose, The Game will likely fade back
 into obscurity once again. Someday whern
 we are old and gray, our grandchildren will
 innocently ask us to play a game of checkers,
 and we will shriek and shout until the whole
 nursing home joins us in defeat. Death is the
 only release from The Game
 Source: rainnecassidy #101
 #goshi remember this #but also
Is this loss?

Is this loss?

Anal Sex, Dating, and God: theyellowbrickroad Did I ever tell u guys about the time my ex legitimately thought he killed me with his dick??? theyellowbrickroad Ok so picture this I'm 18 and excited about sex, trying out some new positions. We are having sex in a pretty similar position to this And my pussy is so wet it might as well be a god damn Slip N Slide ok. And he's pounding at it fast and hard but slips out and goes to go right back in... But something is wrong. He's about to enter... The. Wrong. Hole And my eyes widen, I go to shout "noooo!!!" But it's all happening too fast. He thrusts right into my unlubed asshole and I scream like murder and leap right up onto my feet We had only been dating a couple of months at this time and there was something very important he did not know about me: I am a chronic fainter. If I'm in pain or if I see my own blood, I will pass the fuck out. I get real quiet and turn to him and say, "I am going to pass out He doesn't know I'm serious, he thinks I'm just being emotional, and he's like "no baby come here" but as he finishes that sentence i faint and my head ping pongs off my metal bed frame, onto the wall and then finally my whole body falls on the ground He has never seen anybody faint before and naturally assumes I'm dead. A couple minutes later I awaken to him sobbing into my naked chest. Like this motherfucker really thought he sent me to the qrave with some accidental anal sex soorajmakhi SIMONE I AM YELLING katielittlejohn Joining tumblr was worth it just to read this. I didn't make a terrible mistake 9 years ago, after all The. Wrong. Hole
Anal Sex, Dating, and God: theyellowbrickroad
 Did I ever tell u guys about the time my ex
 legitimately thought he killed me with his
 dick???
 theyellowbrickroad
 Ok so picture this I'm 18 and excited about sex,
 trying out some new positions. We are having
 sex in a pretty similar position to this
 And my pussy is so wet it might as well be a
 god damn Slip N Slide ok. And he's pounding at
 it fast and hard but slips out and goes to go
 right back in... But something is wrong. He's
 about to enter...
 The. Wrong. Hole
 And my eyes widen, I go to shout "noooo!!!" But
 it's all happening too fast. He thrusts right into
 my unlubed asshole and I scream like murder
 and leap right up onto my feet
 We had only been dating a couple of months at
 this time and there was something very
 important he did not know about me: I am a
 chronic fainter. If I'm in pain or if I see my own
 blood, I will pass the fuck out. I get real quiet
 and turn to him and say, "I am going to pass
 out
 He doesn't know I'm serious, he thinks I'm just
 being emotional, and he's like "no baby come
 here" but as he finishes that sentence i faint
 and my head ping pongs off my metal bed
 frame, onto the wall and then finally my whole
 body falls on the ground
 He has never seen anybody faint before and
 naturally assumes I'm dead. A couple minutes
 later I awaken to him sobbing into my naked
 chest. Like this motherfucker really thought he
 sent me to the qrave with some accidental anal
 sex
 soorajmakhi
 SIMONE I AM YELLING
 katielittlejohn
 Joining tumblr was worth it just to read this. I
 didn't make a terrible mistake 9 years ago, after
 all
The. Wrong. Hole

The. Wrong. Hole

Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regēx-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of corrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes, the pestilent-slithy regex-infection wil I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comøs, his unholy radiañcé destroying all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking from your eyeslike liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see ft it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ISLOSTALL IS LOST the pony h comes he com t egichor permeates al My FACE tyEACE b god no NO NOOOO NO stop the an les are not 4422 DA Have you tried using an XML parser instead? How do I replace XHTML tags with RegEx?
Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool
 that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here
 so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions
 are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML
 is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are
 not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to
 me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing
 HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be
 parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions.
 Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of
 virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls
 into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide
 The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same
 conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex
 you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the
 One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus
 regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the
 onslaught of horror. Regēx-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too
 late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living
 tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can
 anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of
 dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach
 between this world and the dread realm of corrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a
 mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's
 consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes, the pestilent-slithy regex-infection wil
 I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Basic only worse he
 comes he comes do not fight he comøs, his unholy radiañcé destroying all enlightenment, HTML
 tags leaking from your eyeslike liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish
 the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see ft it is beautiful the f inal
 snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ISLOSTALL IS LOST the pony h comes he com
 t egichor permeates al My FACE tyEACE b god no NO NOOOO NO stop the an les are not
 4422
 DA
 Have you tried using an XML parser instead?
How do I replace XHTML tags with RegEx?

How do I replace XHTML tags with RegEx?

Anal Sex, Dating, and God: theyellowbrickroad Did I ever tell u guys about the time my ex legitimately thought he killed me with his dick??'? theyellowbrickroad Ok so picture this I'm 18 and excited about sex, trying out some new positions. We are having sex in a pretty similar position to this And my pussy is so wet it might as well be a god damn Slip N Slide ok. And hes pounding at it fast and hard but slips out and goes to go right back in... But something is wrong. He's about to enter... The. Wrong. Hole. And my eyes widen, I go to shout "noooo!!!" But it's all happening too fast. He thrusts right into my unlubed asshole and I scream like murder and leap right up onto my feet. We had only been dating a couple of months at this time and there was something very important he did not know about me: I am a chronic fainter. If I'm in pain or if I see my own blood, I will pass the fuck out. I get real quiet and turn to him and say, "I am going to pass out." He doesn't know I'm serious, he thinks I'm just being emotional, and he's like "no baby come here" but as he finishes that sentence i faint and my head ping pongs off my metal bed frame, onto the wall and then finally my whole body falls on the ground He has never seen anybody faint before and naturally assumes I'm dead. A couple minutes later I awaken to him sobbing into my naked chest. Like this motherfucker really thought he sent me to the grave with some accidental anal sex soorajmakhi SIMONE I AM YELLING katielittlejohn Joining tumblr was worth it just to read this. I didn't make a terrible mistake 9 years ago, after all. silver-tongues-blog this is Shakespearean levels of drama Source: theyellowbrickroad 86,867 notes Deep Dicking Disaster
Anal Sex, Dating, and God: theyellowbrickroad
 Did I ever tell u guys about the time my ex
 legitimately thought he killed me with his dick??'?
 theyellowbrickroad
 Ok so picture this I'm 18 and excited about sex, trying
 out some new positions. We are having sex in a pretty
 similar position to this
 And my pussy is so wet it might as well be a god
 damn Slip N Slide ok. And hes pounding at it fast and
 hard but slips out and goes to go right back in... But
 something is wrong. He's about to enter...
 The. Wrong. Hole.
 And my eyes widen, I go to shout "noooo!!!" But
 it's all happening too fast. He thrusts right into my
 unlubed asshole and I scream like murder and leap
 right up onto my feet.
 We had only been dating a couple of months at this
 time and there was something very important he
 did not know about me: I am a chronic fainter. If
 I'm in pain or if I see my own blood, I will pass the
 fuck out. I get real quiet and turn to him and say, "I
 am going to pass out."
 He doesn't know I'm serious, he thinks I'm just being
 emotional, and he's like "no baby come here" but as
 he finishes that sentence i faint and my head ping
 pongs off my metal bed frame, onto the wall and then
 finally my whole body falls on the ground
 He has never seen anybody faint before and naturally
 assumes I'm dead. A couple minutes later I awaken
 to him sobbing into my naked chest. Like this
 motherfucker really thought he sent me to the grave
 with some accidental anal sex
 soorajmakhi
 SIMONE I AM YELLING
 katielittlejohn
 Joining tumblr was worth it just to read this. I didn't
 make a terrible mistake 9 years ago, after all.
 silver-tongues-blog
 this is Shakespearean levels of drama
 Source: theyellowbrickroad
 86,867 notes
Deep Dicking Disaster

Deep Dicking Disaster