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Climbing, Fall, and Funny: SHORT MEN! - w4m Are you a shorter man under the height of 5"? Do you have a sense of adventure? Do you like trying new experiences? Are you available in the next few days? Text me and let me know! do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers o email to friend best of 1 Back Contact Today 9:31 PM Hello Hello! Who is this? This is Isaac. i'm responding to a personal you posted looking for a date. Do you have any pics? Hold on there, Isaac. Is this the post looking for a man under the height of 5'? yes is I have to be honest, Isaac. I'm not actually looking for a date. I'm looking to hire a shorter man for a single task, for about an 1 hour. Well Paid. Nothing Sexual and Completely Above Board. How much and what $250 Ok, what's the job? My young son, Andrew, keeps opening his bedroom window at night even though I keep telling him not to. It's full-on winter right now and he's blowing up the heating bill when he does it. So if you agree, I'm going to tell him that if he doesn't close the window, a fat evil dwarf will climb into his window and steal all of his toys. I have a ladder for you to climb up to the window and walkie talkies for us to talk When you start climbing into the window, make lots of panting/grunting sounds to wake Andrew. When I hear him yell, I will run into the room with a large broom and bug repellent which I will spray you with before shoving you out of the window with the broom. I have purchased a very large bean bag bed from Sharper Image that we will put under the window for you to fall onto (only about 15 feet). 12AM would be the best time as I know Andrew will be asleep. I can also providea written reference you may add to your employment portfolio. is This is real? Yes, Isaac. And I need results. For sure its fine little job for little men.
Climbing, Fall, and Funny: SHORT MEN! - w4m
 Are you a shorter man under the height of 5"?
 Do you have a sense of adventure?
 Do you like trying new experiences?
 Are you available in the next few days?
 Text me and let me know!
 do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
 o
 email to friend best of 1
 Back
 Contact
 Today 9:31 PM
 Hello
 Hello!
 Who is this?
 This is Isaac. i'm responding to
 a personal you posted looking
 for a date. Do you have any
 pics?
 Hold on there, Isaac. Is this
 the post looking for a man
 under the height of 5'?
 yes is
 I have to be honest, Isaac. I'm
 not actually looking for a date.
 I'm looking to hire a shorter
 man for a single task, for
 about an 1 hour. Well Paid.
 Nothing Sexual and Completely
 Above Board.
 How much and what
 $250
 Ok, what's the job?
 My young son, Andrew, keeps
 opening his bedroom window
 at night even though I keep
 telling him not to. It's full-on
 winter right now and he's
 blowing up the heating bill
 when he does it. So if you
 agree, I'm going to tell him
 that if he doesn't close the
 window, a fat evil dwarf will
 climb into his window and steal
 all of his toys.
 I have a ladder for you to
 climb up to the window and
 walkie talkies for us to talk
 When you start climbing into
 the window, make lots of
 panting/grunting sounds to
 wake Andrew. When I hear
 him yell, I will run into the
 room with a large broom and
 bug repellent which I will spray
 you with before shoving you
 out of the window with the
 broom. I have purchased a
 very large bean bag bed from
 Sharper Image that we will put
 under the window for you to
 fall onto (only about 15 feet).
 12AM would be the best time
 as I know Andrew will be
 asleep. I can also providea
 written reference you may add
 to your employment portfolio.
 is This is real?
 Yes, Isaac. And I need results.
For sure its fine little job for little men.

For sure its fine little job for little men.

Being Alone, Dad, and Drunk: T-Mobile LTE 4:34 PM Alone on Thanksgiving? Mad at your dad?... casual encounters I am a 28 year old felon with no high school degree, and a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen's guitar. I can play anywhere between the ages of 20 and 29 depending on if i shave. I'm a line cook and work late nights at a bar. If you'd like to have me as your stictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I'm game. I can do these things, at your request: openly hit on other female guests while you act like you dont notice start instigative discussions about politics and/or religion propose to you in front of everyone pretend to be really drunk as the evening goes on (sorry, i dont drink, but i used to. alot. too much in fact. i know the drill) Start an actual, physical fight with a family member, either inside or on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see. I require no pay but the free meal i will receive as a guest! do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers <p><a href="https://yeahsureroot.tumblr.com/post/167752336288/janewithawhy-imagine-your-otp-chaotic-good" class="tumblr_blog">yeahsureroot</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://janewithawhy.tumblr.com/post/113931372093/imagine-your-otp">janewithawhy</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Imagine your OTP. </p></blockquote> <p>Chaotic good</p></blockquote>
Being Alone, Dad, and Drunk: T-Mobile LTE
 4:34 PM
 Alone on Thanksgiving? Mad at your dad?...
 casual encounters
 I am a 28 year old felon with no high school degree, and a
 dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie
 Van Halen's guitar. I can play anywhere between the ages of
 20 and 29 depending on if i shave. I'm a line cook and work
 late nights at a bar. If you'd like to have me as your stictly
 platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in
 a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your
 family, I'm game.
 I can do these things, at your request:
 openly hit on other female guests while you act like you dont
 notice
 start instigative discussions about politics and/or religion
 propose to you in front of everyone
 pretend to be really drunk as the evening goes on (sorry, i
 dont drink, but i used to. alot. too much in fact. i know the
 drill)
 Start an actual, physical fight with a family member, either
 inside or on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see.
 I require no pay but the free meal i will receive as a guest!
 do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
<p><a href="https://yeahsureroot.tumblr.com/post/167752336288/janewithawhy-imagine-your-otp-chaotic-good" class="tumblr_blog">yeahsureroot</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://janewithawhy.tumblr.com/post/113931372093/imagine-your-otp">janewithawhy</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>Imagine your OTP. </p></blockquote>
<p>Chaotic good</p></blockquote>

yeahsureroot: janewithawhy: Imagine your OTP. Chaotic good

Being Alone, Beautiful, and Bruh: oo T-Mobile LTE7:50 AM cincinnati.craigslist.org craigslist > personals menu reply Posted: 5 days ago prohibited Petsmart, what the fuck (Petsmart) <1 of 3 > Okay. You caught me. I'm absolutely livid right now. I went into a local Petsmart to pick out a betta fish and asked the person there, "hey which one has been here the longest?". Associate didn't even have to guess or think about this shit. I was handed a very dull-yellow colored betta. "Here. He's been here for a long time because everyone thinks he's ugly." My heart fucking broke, Petsmart. It fucking broke. I took this fish up to the counter with water so dirty you could barely even see the fucking fish. The associate at the counter was like, "wow that's one ugly fish". What. What if I told you that your face was uglier than my betta? Don't say that shit, man. I bought this little turd monger the same day my beautiful betta passed away. I couldn't bear to be alone in my room again. That other fish came from another local pet store and he was badass as fuck. Fucking fish always wanted to fight my finger man. He passed away still fierce as fuck. Goddamn bladder infection took him too soon man, too soon. Now back to this new fish, man. I bought him and noticed he had a little bit of a black fin. Shit. I looked it up and my little turd monger has fin rot because Petsmart doesn't take care of their fucking fish. I don't know how long he'll last but he has started making bubble nests in this gigantic 10 gallon tank, man. He's happy as fuck. Now, I love this turd monger, don't get me wrong. What makes me so damn mad is that he had fin rot because they don't take care of their fish. Before you come at me like, "Bruh is he on antibiotics" the answer is ves. I'm not taking this fish back to Petsmart so he can rot more. Damn son. Even if he only lives for another week I can say he died in better conditions. Now this new fish is badass as fuck and lemme tell you why: 1. Fearless. THIS FUCKING FISH ALLOWS YOU TO PET HIM 2. He looks like a goddamn sunflower man says he's ugly but he's A GODDAMN SUN IN THIS TEN GALLON TANK. BRUH 3. If I stick a tinier container into the 10 gallon tank, HE JUST SWIMS INTO IT. I carried this fish downstairs. He's fearless. He seemed super excited to go downstairs. Seems like a dog trapped inside a fish's . Everyone Ayeeee Petsmart employees: please never insult someone's pet. What if I had been a kid? That would have been so shitty do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
Being Alone, Beautiful, and Bruh: oo T-Mobile LTE7:50 AM
 cincinnati.craigslist.org
 craigslist > personals
 menu
 reply
 Posted: 5 days ago
 prohibited
 Petsmart, what the fuck (Petsmart)
 <1 of 3
 >
 Okay. You caught me. I'm absolutely livid right now. I
 went into a local Petsmart to pick out a betta fish and
 asked the person there, "hey which one has been here
 the longest?". Associate didn't even have to guess or
 think about this shit. I was handed a very dull-yellow
 colored betta. "Here. He's been here for a long time

 because everyone thinks he's ugly." My heart fucking
 broke, Petsmart. It fucking broke. I took this fish up to
 the counter with water so dirty you could barely even
 see the fucking fish. The associate at the counter was
 like, "wow that's one ugly fish". What. What if I told
 you that your face was uglier than my betta? Don't say
 that shit, man. I bought this little turd monger the same
 day my beautiful betta passed away. I couldn't bear to
 be alone in my room again. That other fish came from
 another local pet store and he was badass as fuck.
 Fucking fish always wanted to fight my finger man. He
 passed away still fierce as fuck. Goddamn bladder
 infection took him too soon man, too soon.

 Now back to this new fish, man. I bought him and
 noticed he had a little bit of a black fin. Shit. I looked it
 up and my little turd monger has fin rot because
 Petsmart doesn't take care of their fucking fish. I don't
 know how long he'll last but he has started making
 bubble nests in this gigantic 10 gallon tank, man. He's
 happy as fuck. Now, I love this turd monger, don't get
 me wrong. What makes me so damn mad is that he had
 fin rot because they don't take care of their fish. Before
 you come at me like, "Bruh is he on antibiotics" the
 answer is ves. I'm not taking this fish back to Petsmart
 so he can rot more. Damn son. Even if he only lives for
 another week I can say he died in better conditions.

 Now this new fish is badass as fuck and lemme tell you
 why:
 1. Fearless. THIS FUCKING FISH ALLOWS YOU
 TO PET HIM
 2. He looks like a goddamn sunflower man
 says he's ugly but he's A GODDAMN SUN IN THIS
 TEN GALLON TANK. BRUH
 3. If I stick a tinier container into the 10 gallon tank,
 HE JUST SWIMS INTO IT. I carried this fish
 downstairs. He's fearless. He seemed super excited to
 go downstairs. Seems like a dog trapped inside a fish's
 . Everyone
 Ayeeee Petsmart employees: please never insult
 someone's pet. What if I had been a kid? That would
 have been so shitty
 do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
Being Alone, Beautiful, and Bruh: 00 T-Mobile LTE 7:50 AM cincinnati.craigslist.org craigslist > personals menu ro reply Posted: 5 days ago Rrohibted Petsmart, what the fuck (Petsmart) 1 of 3 > Okay. You caught me. I'm absolutely livid right now. I went into a local Petsmart to pick out a betta fish and asked the person there, "hey which one has been here the longest?". Associate didn't even have to guess or ink about this shit. I was handed a very dull-yellow colored betta. "Here. He's been here for a long time because everyone thinks he's ugly." My heart fucking broke, Petsmart. It fucking broke. I took this fish up to the counter with water so dirty you could barely ever see the fucking fish. The associate at the counter was like, "wow that's one ugly fish". What. What if I told you that your face was uglier than my betta? Don't say that shit, man. I bought this little turd monger the same day my beautiful betta passed away. I couldn't bear to be alone in my room again. That other fish came from another local pet store and he was badass as fuck. ucking fish always wanted to fight my finger man. He passed away still fierce as fuck. Goddamn bladder infection took him too soon man, too soon Now back to this new fish, man. I bought him and noticed he had a little bit of a black fin. Shit. I looked it up and my little turd monger has fin rot because Petsmart doesn't take care of their fucking fish. I don't know how long he'll last but he has started making bubble nests in this gigantic 10 gallon tank, man. Hes happy as fuck. Now, I love this turd monger, don't get me wrong. What makes me so damn mad is that he had fin rot because they don't take care of their fish. Before you come at me like, "Bruh is he on antibiotics" the answer is yes. I'm not taking this fish back to Petsmart so he can rot more. Damn son. Even if he only lives for another week I can say he died in better conditions Now this new fish is badass as fuck and lemme tell you why: 1. Fearless. THIS FUCKING FISH ALLOWS YOU TO PET HIM 2. He looks like a goddamn sunflower man. Everyone says he's ugly but he's A GODDAMN SUN IN THIS EN GALLON TANK. BRUH 3. If I stick a tinier container into the 10 gallon tank HE JUST SWIMS INTO IT. I carried this fish downstairs. He's fearless. He seemed super excited to go downstairs. Seems like a dog trapped inside a fish's y. Ayeeee Petsmart employees: please never insult someone's pet. What if I had been a kid? That would have been so shitty e do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers Thkmetavengers
Being Alone, Beautiful, and Bruh: 00 T-Mobile
 LTE
 7:50 AM
 cincinnati.craigslist.org
 craigslist > personals
 menu
 ro
 reply
 Posted: 5 days ago
 Rrohibted
 Petsmart, what the fuck (Petsmart)
 1 of 3 >
 Okay. You caught me. I'm absolutely livid right now. I
 went into a local Petsmart to pick out a betta fish and
 asked the person there, "hey which one has been here
 the longest?". Associate didn't even have to guess or
 ink about this shit. I was handed a very dull-yellow
 colored betta. "Here. He's been here for a long time
 because everyone thinks he's ugly." My heart fucking
 broke, Petsmart. It fucking broke. I took this fish up to
 the counter with water so dirty you could barely ever
 see the fucking fish. The associate at the counter was
 like, "wow that's one ugly fish". What. What if I told
 you that your face was uglier than my betta? Don't say
 that shit, man. I bought this little turd monger the same
 day my beautiful betta passed away. I couldn't bear to
 be alone in my room again. That other fish came from
 another local pet store and he was badass as fuck.
 ucking fish always wanted to fight my finger man. He
 passed away still fierce as fuck. Goddamn bladder
 infection took him too soon man, too soon
 Now back to this new fish, man. I bought him and
 noticed he had a little bit of a black fin. Shit. I looked it
 up and my little turd monger has fin rot because
 Petsmart doesn't take care of their fucking fish. I don't
 know how long he'll last but he has started making
 bubble nests in this gigantic 10 gallon tank, man. Hes
 happy as fuck. Now, I love this turd monger, don't get
 me wrong. What makes me so damn mad is that he had
 fin rot because they don't take care of their fish. Before
 you come at me like, "Bruh is he on antibiotics" the
 answer is yes. I'm not taking this fish back to Petsmart
 so he can rot more. Damn son. Even if he only lives for
 another week I can say he died in better conditions
 Now this new fish is badass as fuck and lemme tell you
 why:
 1. Fearless. THIS FUCKING FISH ALLOWS YOU
 TO PET HIM
 2. He looks like a goddamn sunflower man. Everyone
 says he's ugly but he's A GODDAMN SUN IN THIS
 EN GALLON TANK. BRUH
 3. If I stick a tinier container into the 10 gallon tank
 HE JUST SWIMS INTO IT. I carried this fish
 downstairs. He's fearless. He seemed super excited to
 go downstairs. Seems like a dog trapped inside a fish's
 y.
 Ayeeee Petsmart employees: please never insult
 someone's pet. What if I had been a kid? That would
 have been so shitty
 e
 do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
 Thkmetavengers