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Oh U: ilthat TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces. via reddit.com toast-potent how are they even alive kickin-jeans eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs humandisastersquad WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace) reyroace oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em reyroace by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk gallusrostromegalus My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels, Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date. teratomarty What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths. the more you know
Oh U: ilthat
 TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex,
 unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces.
 via reddit.com
 toast-potent
 how are they even alive
 kickin-jeans
 eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during
 forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place
 koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat
 The Fucking Bombs
 humandisastersquad
 WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times
 ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how
 good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0
 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and
 even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic
 range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to
 ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat
 anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd
 rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60
 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want
 YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so
 incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is
 bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet
 consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace)
 reyroace
 oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is
 starvation, because
 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u
 need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in
 nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of
 tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth
 grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc
 everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin
 shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear
 down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit
 all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day
 then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until
 they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die
 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc
 their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh
 just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal
 w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc
 i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung
 from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their
 organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better
 piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense
 mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch
 them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit
 around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison
 while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending
 theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of
 extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at
 all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let
 em
 reyroace
 by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres
 a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound
 like
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk
 gallusrostromegalus
 My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala
 Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently
 good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo
 Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at
 which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves
 around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to
 BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and
 projectile-evacuating thier bowels,
 Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked
 into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with
 a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle
 the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects
 of a date.
 teratomarty
 What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths.
the more you know

the more you know

Oh U: When you try to pretend you're not looking at your crush, and then eye contact happens. New rule for all of u people who wear black shades in the airport but don’t have a eye condition: u a jacka$$ 🙂. No offense! 😂 Now as always my rules come with exceptions. First, u been in a action film starring the Rock or a romantic film starring Sarah Jessica Parker. U feel me? A film errybody seent. Oh u acted in one art house film that was featured at the Aspen Film Festival and got a small release in NYC and LA but u rocking Gucci shades at O’hare? U a jacka$$ 🙂. Even a B-list celebrity like Kid Cudi Imma let u rock shades out the goodness of my heart. Like to a oddly specific subsection of 2000s-era stoners u a legit star - shades are ok because them oddly specific fans is hella in love with u and U want a lil privacy. Plus people gon be like “wow kid cudi flying spirit airline?? Damn. Times is rough. AHIMMMMAHHHHHHOHHHHH.” [I always pictured Kid Cudi fans moan like Cudi in private lmao.] He might wear shades to be like “aye lemme hide a lil bit and eat my airport Cinnabon with jiz sauce in peacington.” I feel that. Second, legit athletes. But see it’s always that dude that’s 6’5”+ who wanna rock shades in the airport to create confusion. He ain’t a NBA player but he might could had played college ball. Bruh. U ain’t famous. U just lengthy 😂. “Well smash maybe u just jealous of these actors, rappers and athletes — salty a$$. U just a nobody with a meme page LMAOOO.” Ummmm exactly! And I love it that way! 😂 That’s the whole point. People wear them shades in airports to pretend like they don’t wanna be recognized but low key dying to be recognized. The shades - which is suppose to obscure they identity - actually draw attention to them. People look harder to see who they are. Like them dudes who was heavy metal artists in the 80s but still rock the big hair like ya auntie Julie and tight fake leather pants like homie just dying to be spotted by someone (...like ya auntie Julie lmao she still play they music! She never moved on! She’ll STILL smash Jerry the drummer just to brag at the hair salon! Raw! Knowing she number 8,762! Go head Julie u wild lmao!) Anyway bruv, stop. Take them shades off. See? Light is lovely. Bless up 😂😂😂
Oh U: When you try to pretend you're not
 looking at your crush, and then eye
 contact happens.
New rule for all of u people who wear black shades in the airport but don’t have a eye condition: u a jacka$$ 🙂. No offense! 😂 Now as always my rules come with exceptions. First, u been in a action film starring the Rock or a romantic film starring Sarah Jessica Parker. U feel me? A film errybody seent. Oh u acted in one art house film that was featured at the Aspen Film Festival and got a small release in NYC and LA but u rocking Gucci shades at O’hare? U a jacka$$ 🙂. Even a B-list celebrity like Kid Cudi Imma let u rock shades out the goodness of my heart. Like to a oddly specific subsection of 2000s-era stoners u a legit star - shades are ok because them oddly specific fans is hella in love with u and U want a lil privacy. Plus people gon be like “wow kid cudi flying spirit airline?? Damn. Times is rough. AHIMMMMAHHHHHHOHHHHH.” [I always pictured Kid Cudi fans moan like Cudi in private lmao.] He might wear shades to be like “aye lemme hide a lil bit and eat my airport Cinnabon with jiz sauce in peacington.” I feel that. Second, legit athletes. But see it’s always that dude that’s 6’5”+ who wanna rock shades in the airport to create confusion. He ain’t a NBA player but he might could had played college ball. Bruh. U ain’t famous. U just lengthy 😂. “Well smash maybe u just jealous of these actors, rappers and athletes — salty a$$. U just a nobody with a meme page LMAOOO.” Ummmm exactly! And I love it that way! 😂 That’s the whole point. People wear them shades in airports to pretend like they don’t wanna be recognized but low key dying to be recognized. The shades - which is suppose to obscure they identity - actually draw attention to them. People look harder to see who they are. Like them dudes who was heavy metal artists in the 80s but still rock the big hair like ya auntie Julie and tight fake leather pants like homie just dying to be spotted by someone (...like ya auntie Julie lmao she still play they music! She never moved on! She’ll STILL smash Jerry the drummer just to brag at the hair salon! Raw! Knowing she number 8,762! Go head Julie u wild lmao!) Anyway bruv, stop. Take them shades off. See? Light is lovely. Bless up 😂😂😂

New rule for all of u people who wear black shades in the airport but don’t have a eye condition: u a jacka$$ 🙂. No offense! 😂 Now as alw...

Oh U: her phone to see 5he'd been added by stranger on Srephat. The ran in quntiondidnt hold backat al, immedalelysending wonds a true gereleman him at ths point,shewas fed up and Where do u live ? and do u live alone1 Ilive with my friend she'll be joining us are u for real yh? Send me some pics of you girl I'm daf un for that tho 0 then heariounlymesseged the post code af Buckinghw Elaabeth iof Palace the Landan residence of Queen Send me ur postcode, ll check how far u are, and I'll drive down Sw1a 1aa Oh u ain't far You live in south London l live in Croydon. 20 min drive at this time Brill see you in 20 her temale triend up at the tourit landmark aher putting the address into his Sathb I'm near Buckingham palace I'm on spur road?? Can't hear any of that babe text it I said I didn't realise u lived by Buckingham I'm on spur road baby Yes babe It is the state rooms You need to come to the gates What car are you in to Buckingham palace gates ? I'm driving a white ford sport by twopalace officersthat he reslized there wesn't sometningnet quhe righe with his lane nighe booty cal | Inside in my can't even be parked where I was apparently Two officers have just told me two offices with guns They said state rooms, are used by family of the royal family This sounds abit fishy I'li have to park my car on tho side. And just come down to get me My car is attracting too much attention t wassofunnyI coudd cope Tera said. Wienhe mas 1 then sent hima lannyphono ofte queen smiäing and he s didrt understand he hadbeenpranked she said yeah at's he finaly I'm parked on spur road, because I got told I can't be parked right by the palace Opened for real? Why wud u do something ike dis And make me drive and waste fuel And leave my house and drive all around What kinda sick game you playin at? YOUVE MADE ME DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO AN IMAGINARY PLACE. I KNEW SOMETHING WAS FISHY AS SOON ASI SAW BUCKINGHAM PALACE 1 am sosickoman seeingwomen as otjects and although this was wery cancerning factar of sthe added t is end women d sgusting.naied photos of shenselves Woman gets the perfect revenge on a creep sending d*ck pics
Oh U: her phone to see 5he'd been added by
 stranger on Srephat.
 The ran in quntiondidnt hold backat al, immedalelysending
 wonds a true gereleman
 him at ths point,shewas fed up and
 Where do u live ?
 and do u live alone1
 Ilive with my friend she'll be joining us
 are u for real yh?
 Send me some pics of you girl
 I'm daf un for that tho 0
 then heariounlymesseged the
 post code af Buckinghw
 Elaabeth iof
 Palace the Landan residence of Queen
 Send me ur postcode, ll check how far u
 are, and I'll drive down
 Sw1a 1aa
 Oh u ain't far
 You live in south London
 l live in Croydon. 20 min drive at this time
 Brill see you in 20
 her temale triend
 up at the tourit
 landmark aher putting the address into his Sathb
 I'm near Buckingham palace
 I'm on spur road??
 Can't hear any of that babe text it
 I said I didn't realise u lived by Buckingham
 I'm on spur road baby
 Yes babe
 It is the state rooms
 You need to come to the gates
 What car are you in
 to Buckingham palace gates ?
 I'm driving a white ford sport
 by twopalace officersthat he
 reslized there wesn't sometningnet quhe righe with his lane nighe
 booty cal
 | Inside in my
 can't even be parked where I was
 apparently
 Two officers have just told me
 two offices with guns
 They said state rooms, are used by family of
 the royal family
 This sounds abit fishy
 I'li have to park my car on tho side. And just
 come down to get me
 My car is attracting too much attention
 t wassofunnyI coudd
 cope Tera said. Wienhe mas
 1 then sent hima lannyphono ofte queen smiäing and he s
 didrt understand he hadbeenpranked she said
 yeah at's
 he finaly
 I'm parked on spur road, because I got told I
 can't be parked right by the palace
 Opened
 for real?
 Why wud u do something ike dis
 And make me drive and waste fuel
 And leave my house
 and drive all around
 What kinda sick game you playin at?
 YOUVE MADE ME DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO
 AN IMAGINARY PLACE. I KNEW
 SOMETHING WAS FISHY AS SOON ASI
 SAW BUCKINGHAM PALACE
 1 am sosickoman seeingwomen as otjects and although this was
 wery cancerning factar of
 sthe added t is
 end women d sgusting.naied photos of shenselves
Woman gets the perfect revenge on a creep sending d*ck pics

Woman gets the perfect revenge on a creep sending d*ck pics