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Target, Tumblr, and Blog: gobodosama:when is she gonna step on me!!! im Waiting
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: gobodosama:when is she gonna step on me!!! im Waiting

gobodosama:when is she gonna step on me!!! im Waiting

Ass, Community, and God: Everyone meet Frank. Frank is 40b snapping turtle that wandered into a community where he did not belong. Frank needed to be escorted back to his local pond where he couldnt go all snappity snap on anyone (or oute puppies) so my friend and I jumped into action. Within about 2 minutes it was prety apparent that Frank is a gigantic king a""hole Here we see Frank gettin all high and mighty trying to run the f"k away from us and get to the nearest basket of puppies that he could then chompity chomp simply because he is a giant t"k. Let me tell you something Frank, your dreams of being a Godzlla like terror on humanity are f"king over. You picked the wrong towrn Frank, you picked the wrong king town. Not äke Frank was gonna make it easy on me though. I swear to god this bastard just about hissed and shit everywhere betore we got him to calm the f'k down Jesus Frank Frank then realized he was ked so instead of cooperating and getting a free ride back to his pond OH NO. Frank here decides he is five f"king years old and he sits thef"K down and goes limp Honestly Frank grow the fk up. You think ather turtles are acting like this at your age Frank, no. Frank here probably thought at this point we we're unqualified to deal with a shelled prehistoric asswipe but his ass was wrong. So wrong WE F KING LASSO'D THE SH.T OUTTA YOU FRANK Needless to say Frank was pretty f"king upset about the whole ordeal and bitched the entre ten minute walk back to Casa De Frank and just when 1 thought my life was gonna got just a ittle bit easier, Frank goes and torpedo sholgun pisses all over my toot Fk you Frank. Thats low even for you, you pancake sheled dickweed Long story short we got Frank back home and saved the entire town. Frank was not hurt, and we treated the whole situation with care BECAUSE TM A BIGGER MORE MATURE PERSON THAN YOU FRANK YOU SON OF A B'TCH THE META PICTURE awesomesthesia: Meet Frank The Turtle
Ass, Community, and God: Everyone meet Frank. Frank is 40b snapping turtle that wandered
 into a community where he did not belong. Frank needed to be
 escorted back to his local pond where he couldnt go all snappity
 snap on anyone (or oute puppies) so my friend and I jumped into
 action. Within about 2 minutes it was prety apparent that Frank is
 a gigantic king a""hole
 Here we see Frank gettin all high and mighty trying to run the f"k
 away from us and get to the nearest basket of puppies that he
 could then chompity chomp simply because he is a giant t"k. Let
 me tell you something Frank, your dreams of being a Godzlla like
 terror on humanity are f"king over. You picked the wrong towrn
 Frank, you picked the wrong king town. Not äke Frank was
 gonna make it easy on me though. I swear to god this bastard just
 about hissed and shit everywhere betore we got him to calm the
 f'k down Jesus Frank
 Frank then realized he was ked so instead of cooperating and
 getting a free ride back to his pond OH NO. Frank here decides he
 is five f"king years old and he sits thef"K down and goes limp
 Honestly Frank grow the fk up. You think ather turtles are acting
 like this at your age Frank, no. Frank here probably thought at this
 point we we're unqualified to deal with a shelled prehistoric
 asswipe but his ass was wrong. So wrong
 WE F KING LASSO'D THE SH.T OUTTA YOU FRANK
 Needless to say Frank was pretty f"king upset about the whole
 ordeal and bitched the entre ten minute walk back to Casa De
 Frank and just when 1 thought my life was gonna got just a ittle bit
 easier, Frank goes and torpedo sholgun pisses all over my toot
 Fk you Frank. Thats low even for you, you pancake sheled
 dickweed
 Long story short we got Frank back home and saved the entire
 town. Frank was not hurt, and we treated the whole situation with
 care BECAUSE TM A BIGGER MORE MATURE PERSON THAN
 YOU FRANK YOU SON OF A B'TCH
 THE META PICTURE
awesomesthesia:

Meet Frank The Turtle

awesomesthesia: Meet Frank The Turtle

Ass, Community, and God: Everyone meet Frank. Frank is 40b snapping turtle that wandered into a community where he did not belong. Frank needed to be escorted back to his local pond where he couldnt go all snappity snap on anyone (or oute puppies) so my friend and I jumped into action. Within about 2 minutes it was prety apparent that Frank is a gigantic king a""hole Here we see Frank gettin all high and mighty trying to run the f"k away from us and get to the nearest basket of puppies that he could then chompity chomp simply because he is a giant t"k. Let me tell you something Frank, your dreams of being a Godzlla like terror on humanity are f"king over. You picked the wrong towrn Frank, you picked the wrong king town. Not äke Frank was gonna make it easy on me though. I swear to god this bastard just about hissed and shit everywhere betore we got him to calm the f'k down Jesus Frank Frank then realized he was ked so instead of cooperating and getting a free ride back to his pond OH NO. Frank here decides he is five f"king years old and he sits thef"K down and goes limp Honestly Frank grow the fk up. You think ather turtles are acting like this at your age Frank, no. Frank here probably thought at this point we we're unqualified to deal with a shelled prehistoric asswipe but his ass was wrong. So wrong WE F KING LASSO'D THE SH.T OUTTA YOU FRANK Needless to say Frank was pretty f"king upset about the whole ordeal and bitched the entre ten minute walk back to Casa De Frank and just when 1 thought my life was gonna got just a ittle bit easier, Frank goes and torpedo sholgun pisses all over my toot Fk you Frank. Thats low even for you, you pancake sheled dickweed Long story short we got Frank back home and saved the entire town. Frank was not hurt, and we treated the whole situation with care BECAUSE TM A BIGGER MORE MATURE PERSON THAN YOU FRANK YOU SON OF A B'TCH THE META PICTURE awesomesthesia: Meet Frank The Turtle
Ass, Community, and God: Everyone meet Frank. Frank is 40b snapping turtle that wandered
 into a community where he did not belong. Frank needed to be
 escorted back to his local pond where he couldnt go all snappity
 snap on anyone (or oute puppies) so my friend and I jumped into
 action. Within about 2 minutes it was prety apparent that Frank is
 a gigantic king a""hole
 Here we see Frank gettin all high and mighty trying to run the f"k
 away from us and get to the nearest basket of puppies that he
 could then chompity chomp simply because he is a giant t"k. Let
 me tell you something Frank, your dreams of being a Godzlla like
 terror on humanity are f"king over. You picked the wrong towrn
 Frank, you picked the wrong king town. Not äke Frank was
 gonna make it easy on me though. I swear to god this bastard just
 about hissed and shit everywhere betore we got him to calm the
 f'k down Jesus Frank
 Frank then realized he was ked so instead of cooperating and
 getting a free ride back to his pond OH NO. Frank here decides he
 is five f"king years old and he sits thef"K down and goes limp
 Honestly Frank grow the fk up. You think ather turtles are acting
 like this at your age Frank, no. Frank here probably thought at this
 point we we're unqualified to deal with a shelled prehistoric
 asswipe but his ass was wrong. So wrong
 WE F KING LASSO'D THE SH.T OUTTA YOU FRANK
 Needless to say Frank was pretty f"king upset about the whole
 ordeal and bitched the entre ten minute walk back to Casa De
 Frank and just when 1 thought my life was gonna got just a ittle bit
 easier, Frank goes and torpedo sholgun pisses all over my toot
 Fk you Frank. Thats low even for you, you pancake sheled
 dickweed
 Long story short we got Frank back home and saved the entire
 town. Frank was not hurt, and we treated the whole situation with
 care BECAUSE TM A BIGGER MORE MATURE PERSON THAN
 YOU FRANK YOU SON OF A B'TCH
 THE META PICTURE
awesomesthesia:

Meet Frank The Turtle

awesomesthesia: Meet Frank The Turtle

Apparently, Head, and Parents: epochayur people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted oonabashed This is true. I once did this to cheat at a pool game, and a kid in goggles saw me do it He wanted to know how, so l told him I was part mermaid. He wanted to call bullshit, but I was like, look kid, I can prove t, but you're not allowed to tell anyone under 18. He said what about his mom, I said, sure, but she won't believe you, so it didn't matter if he ratted on me to an adult. He was skeptical but agreed. For the next ten minutes I executed any number of water related feats-I've been swimming since I was 3 and was on the swimming and diving team in high school I crossed the entire span of the pool underwater without taking a breath. I sat on the bottom of the pool for a minute. I lifted him over my head while only treading water. I floated face down without moving for a convincing stretch of time. I did a pretty choice inward pike off the diving board. This was what really convinced him. He'd seen a dolphin show once, apparently, and thought it was pretty comparable So yeah. This kid was straight up convinced I was a mermaid and was losing his shit and trying to figure out how to get around his promise He went over to the hottub to tell all the parents and they all like, smiled and laughed and nodded. He could tell they didn't believe him. He came back and was like You were right about adults." Yeah kid, I know" "Well but, you're the most important discovery I've ever made! I gotta tell someonel" Well. You need to establish some credibility first, I told him. "You have to prove to people that you're a serious scientific thinker, and then when you say stuff like this, they might believe you. He thought about this for a second. "But what if you just showed them?" and I said it was against half memaid rules to show adults anything that could make them suspicious. He took this seriously He spent the rest of his time in the pool following me around. I taught him how to hold his breath underwater without plugging his nose and how to do a backstroke I'm still proud of this, and regret nothing o marky-mark-quack-quack-quack 698,054 notes 14 Times People On Tumblr Told Really Great Stories
Apparently, Head, and Parents: epochayur
 people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open
 are not to be trusted
 oonabashed
 This is true. I once did this to cheat at a pool game, and a kid in
 goggles saw me do it He wanted to know how, so l told him I was part
 mermaid. He wanted to call bullshit, but I was like, look kid, I can prove
 t, but you're not allowed to tell anyone under 18. He said what about his
 mom, I said, sure, but she won't believe you, so it didn't matter if he
 ratted on me to an adult. He was skeptical but agreed. For the next ten
 minutes I executed any number of water related feats-I've been
 swimming since I was 3 and was on the swimming and diving team in
 high school I crossed the entire span of the pool underwater without
 taking a breath. I sat on the bottom of the pool for a minute. I lifted him
 over my head while only treading water. I floated face down without
 moving for a convincing stretch of time. I did a pretty choice inward pike
 off the diving board. This was what really convinced him. He'd seen a
 dolphin show once, apparently, and thought it was pretty comparable
 So yeah. This kid was straight up convinced I was a mermaid and was
 losing his shit and trying to figure out how to get around his promise
 He went over to the hottub to tell all the parents and they all like, smiled
 and laughed and nodded. He could tell they didn't believe him. He came
 back and was like You were right about adults." Yeah kid, I
 know" "Well but, you're the most important discovery I've ever made! I
 gotta tell someonel" Well. You need to establish some credibility first,
 I told him. "You have to prove to people that you're a serious scientific
 thinker, and then when you say stuff like this, they might believe you.
 He thought about this for a second. "But what if you just showed
 them?" and I said it was against half memaid rules to show adults
 anything that could make them suspicious. He took this seriously He
 spent the rest of his time in the pool following me around. I taught him
 how to hold his breath underwater without plugging his nose and how
 to do a backstroke
 I'm still proud of this, and regret nothing
 o marky-mark-quack-quack-quack
 698,054 notes
14 Times People On Tumblr Told Really Great Stories

14 Times People On Tumblr Told Really Great Stories

Apparently, Bitch, and Moms: ruby-white-rabbit There's a turtle in my yard laying eggs This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose I'm not ready to be a single mom I know shit about reptiles I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care I'm googling turtles right now, I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she's a box turtle? 70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH?? iplemons You a mom now Text from stepmom "watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They'll eat the eggs so chase them off ruby-white-rabbit mrswinterbarnes Name her Sharron, she sounds like she doesn't care about her kids @mrswinterbarnes you're not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye?? I don't think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA DAMN IT SHARRON First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny?? UPDATE SHES BACK NEVERMIND ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE That's two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me ladystud Call this one Susan blad-the-inhaler You're like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit I'm trying to figure out when "oh, it's only midnight" to "omg it's already midnight" #lawnmowerpeople
Apparently, Bitch, and Moms: ruby-white-rabbit
 There's a turtle in my yard laying eggs
 This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me
 and vamoose
 I'm not ready to be a single mom
 I know shit about reptiles
 I had to put a stick next to the nest because
 she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the
 primo spot to give birth
 Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer
 Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny
 under my city girl care
 I'm googling turtles right now, I sent photos
 to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently
 she's a box turtle?
 70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH??
 iplemons
 You a mom now
 Text from stepmom "watch out for foxes,
 cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They'll eat the
 eggs so chase them off
 ruby-white-rabbit
 mrswinterbarnes
 Name her Sharron, she sounds like
 she doesn't care about her kids
 @mrswinterbarnes you're not wrong. When I
 came back from closing the barn doors she
 was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles
 were supposed to be slow
 I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not
 even a goodbye??
 I don't think Box turtles return to their nest
 either, so until they hatch and dig out
 YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA
 DAMN IT SHARRON
 First that bird makes its nursery in my bike
 basket on our porch and now this
 Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny??
 UPDATE
 SHES BACK
 NEVERMIND
 ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE
 That's two deadbeat turtle moms dropping
 their spawn on me
 ladystud
 Call this one Susan
 blad-the-inhaler
 You're like a really ticked-off nature witch who
 never signed up for this animal empath shit
I'm trying to figure out when "oh, it's only midnight" to "omg it's already midnight" #lawnmowerpeople

I'm trying to figure out when "oh, it's only midnight" to "omg it's already midnight" #lawnmowerpeople

Gif, God, and Krispy Kreme: Billy, Just Billy @BillyArmagh A Sassy Gay Republican DRAMA in Four Acts. Sassy Gay Republican @sassygayrepub As a young adult in perfect health, why should I be FORCED to pay for insurance l don't want and likely won't need? 06/03/2017, 22:37 7 Retweets 8 Likes Sassy Gay Republican @sassygayrepub Yo Bernie, you're a self-proclaimed "expert" on healthcare. Tell me...how many are dying in these massive wait lists for "free healthcare?" 2017-08-12, 2:30 PM 59 Retweets 146 Likes Sassy Gay Republican 2017-08-12 v Replying to @sassygayrepub I know when Krispy Kreme gives "free" donuts there's an hour long wait line so I was wondering how many come & wait for "free" healthcare? Sassy Gay Republican @sassyg.. .6d v Just letting you guys know I'm in recovery. If you have the time, please read. If you can, please help out & share. dl Serious Car Accident As many of you know, I was involved... gofundme.com Sassy Gay Republican @sassy....21h Guys pls pray for me during this rough time. Really didn't plan on insurance bailing on me. I'Il see what God wants me to do. 55 t34270 Sassy Gay Republican @sassy.. 21h v Insurance: Don't worry, we've got you covered!:) Me: *files claim* Thank you!! Insurance: LMAO! Ur on ur own & we raising ur rates. Sassy Gay Republican @sassy... 21h What do you recommend I do from here on out? Talk to Ins? Hire a Lawyer? File for Bankruptcy. My insurance doesn't wanna cover collision. tethmos: gwens-deaf-auntie: God sometimes karma comes through clutch
Gif, God, and Krispy Kreme: Billy, Just Billy
 @BillyArmagh
 A Sassy Gay Republican DRAMA in
 Four Acts.

 Sassy Gay Republican
 @sassygayrepub
 As a young adult in perfect
 health, why should I be
 FORCED to pay for insurance l
 don't want and likely won't
 need?
 06/03/2017, 22:37
 7 Retweets 8 Likes

 Sassy Gay Republican
 @sassygayrepub
 Yo Bernie, you're a self-proclaimed
 "expert" on healthcare. Tell me...how
 many are dying in these massive wait
 lists for "free healthcare?"
 2017-08-12, 2:30 PM
 59 Retweets 146 Likes
 Sassy Gay Republican 2017-08-12 v
 Replying to @sassygayrepub
 I know when Krispy Kreme gives "free"
 donuts there's an hour long wait line so
 I was wondering how many come & wait
 for "free" healthcare?

 Sassy Gay Republican @sassyg.. .6d v
 Just letting you guys know I'm in
 recovery. If you have the time, please
 read. If you can, please help out &
 share.
 dl
 Serious Car Accident
 As many of you know, I was involved...
 gofundme.com

 Sassy Gay Republican @sassy....21h
 Guys pls pray for me during this rough
 time. Really didn't plan on insurance
 bailing on me. I'Il see what God wants
 me to do.
 55 t34270
 Sassy Gay Republican @sassy.. 21h v
 Insurance: Don't worry, we've got you
 covered!:)
 Me: *files claim* Thank you!!
 Insurance: LMAO! Ur on ur own & we
 raising ur rates.
 Sassy Gay Republican @sassy... 21h
 What do you recommend I do from here
 on out? Talk to Ins? Hire a Lawyer? File
 for Bankruptcy. My insurance doesn't
 wanna cover collision.
tethmos:
gwens-deaf-auntie:



God sometimes karma comes through clutch

tethmos: gwens-deaf-auntie: God sometimes karma comes through clutch