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Sorry, Tumblr, and Blog: boopfoop: colonel-panic: a good transparent boy to do with as you please Sorry
Sorry, Tumblr, and Blog: boopfoop:
colonel-panic:

a good transparent boy to do with as you please

Sorry

boopfoop: colonel-panic: a good transparent boy to do with as you please Sorry

Apple, God, and Google: oooo Sprint LTE @ 99% 8:54 AM Settings Emergency Chat Meltdown gave you my phone because l can't use or process speech right now, but l am still capable of text communication. My hearing and tactile senses are extremely sensitive in this state, so please refrain from touching me. Please keep calm, and proceed to the next screen that has a simple chat client through which we can communicate. Continue R...ht New Message Send @ 99% ooo Sprint LTE 9:02 AM Settings Emergency Chat Today 9:02 AM would you like to get out of here? Left yes please R...ht New Message Send the I'm O p qw r У u f jk d gh а S C b Z X 123 return space sweetandsavageautistic: thathumanwiththecatears: kuroba101: sweet-and-tender: lesbiandana: hello! I don’t know if anyone has already made a post about this before, but I just stumbled upon this app made specifically for when you’ve gone into a nonverbal anxiety attack!!! it was made by Jeroen De Busser who is an autistic computer science student. the app is really easy to use! all you do is open it and hand your phone to someone you need to communicate with during an attack but physically cannot, and it shows this cool little alert for the person to read, and then it takes them to an easy to use chat (that looks a lot like texting! except both of you are communicating using the same device).  the alert message is completely customizable and you can have it say whatever you need!  the app is called Emergency Chat and it’s available in the Apple Store and google play store.  I highly recommend it to anyone who might need it :) OH MY GOD?!?!?? BOOST That’s so bootiful! thank you so much for this because i never know what to do when i cant talk to people and they just start trying to ask me questions and its really hard to force myself to say i cant talk and stuff. im definately getting this right now WHAT?
Apple, God, and Google: oooo Sprint LTE
 @ 99%
 8:54 AM
 Settings
 Emergency Chat
 Meltdown
 gave you my phone because l
 can't use or process speech
 right now, but l am still capable
 of text communication. My
 hearing and tactile senses are
 extremely sensitive in this state,
 so please refrain from touching
 me. Please keep calm, and
 proceed to the next screen that
 has a simple chat client through
 which we can communicate.
 Continue
 R...ht New Message
 Send

 @ 99%
 ooo Sprint LTE
 9:02 AM
 Settings
 Emergency Chat
 Today 9:02 AM
 would you like to get out of here?
 Left
 yes please
 R...ht New Message
 Send
 the
 I'm
 O p
 qw
 r
 ĐŁ
 u
 f
 jk
 d
 gh
 Đ°
 S
 C
 b
 Z
 X
 123
 return
 space
sweetandsavageautistic:

thathumanwiththecatears:

kuroba101:

sweet-and-tender:

lesbiandana:

hello! I don’t know if anyone has already made a post about this before, but I just stumbled upon this app made specifically for when you’ve gone into a nonverbal anxiety attack!!!
it was made by Jeroen De Busser who is an autistic computer science student.
the app is really easy to use! all you do is open it and hand your phone to someone you need to communicate with during an attack but physically cannot, and it shows this cool little alert for the person to read, and then it takes them to an easy to use chat (that looks a lot like texting! except both of you are communicating using the same device). 
the alert message is completely customizable and you can have it say whatever you need! 
the app is called Emergency Chat and it’s available in the Apple Store and google play store. 
I highly recommend it to anyone who might need it :)

OH MY GOD?!?!?? BOOST

That’s so bootiful!

thank you so much for this because i never know what to do when i cant talk to people and they just start trying to ask me questions and its really hard to force myself to say i cant talk and stuff. im definately getting this right now


WHAT?

sweetandsavageautistic: thathumanwiththecatears: kuroba101: sweet-and-tender: lesbiandana: hello! I don’t know if anyone has already ma...

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | Ä°lke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Ä°lke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | Ä°lke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Ä°lke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Children, College, and Confidence: Maya's Homework 5:32 PM (9 minutes ago) Bunmi Laditan to Hello Maya's teachers, Maya will be drastically reducing the amount of homework she does this year. She's been very stressed and is starting to have physical symptoms such as chest pain and waking up at 4AM worrying about her school workload. She's not behind academically and very much enjoys school. We've consulted with a tutor and a therapist suggested we lighten her workload. Doing 2-3 hours of homework after getting home at 4:30 is leaving little time for her to just be a child and enjoy family time and we'd like to avoid her sinking into a depression over this. Thank you for understanding. warmly, Bunmi vaporwavevocap: ryttu3k: darkwizardjamesmason: dienaziscum: fishcustardandclintbarton: huffingtonpost: Mom declares her daughter is done with homework in viral email. Blogger Bunmi Laditan sent her 10-year-old’s school a clear message. “Hello Maya’s teachers, Maya will be drastically reducing the amount of homework she does this year. She’s been very stressed and is starting to have physical symptoms such as chest pain and waking up at 4 a.m. worrying about her school workload. She’s not behind academically and very much enjoys school. We consulted with a tutor and a therapist suggested we lighten her workload. Doing 2-3 hours of homework after getting home at 4:30 is leaving little time for her to just be a child and enjoy family time and we’d like to avoid her sinking into a depression over this.” A++++ parenting 💜 I’ve talked with a whole cadre of child therapists and psychiatrists about this very issue. There is little conclusive evidence that homework significantly improves elementary school children’s grades, understanding of subjects, or facility with various operations, processes, etc. However, plenty of evidence suggests that ever-increasing amounts of homework for young children lead to stress, anxiety, emotional fatigue, resistance toward academics in general, lack of leisure time to build social/interpersonal skills, and poorer family relations.  (My kids were doing about 3 hours a week IN KINDERGARTEN, at age 5 – so that’s Âœ hour every night, after a 6.5 hour school day, or else saving it up for long slogs over the weekend, even more disruptive. And that wasn’t including reading practice!) We have stopped doing homework altogether with my 7 year old as a result of severe anxiety/depression and a learning disability. She had gotten to a place where she had so little self confidence and truly believed that she was stupid and worthless, not just because of homework of course – but every time we tried to sit down to do homework with her, it’d end in tears with her really vehemently berating herself, and no amount of encouragement could ameliorate the damage done. Now, granted, she’s got other things going on besides just an overload of school work. But in NO WAY did the homework help her, either academically or emotionally.  No little kid should have to spend an hour or more each night getting through homework. Now, my deal with Siena is that if she wants to give her homework a shot, I will absolutely help her if she wishes for help, but I no longer force her to complete all of it or to work on it for some set length of time before finally throwing in the towel.  Guess what? With the pressure taken off, she’s actually doing MORE independent work now, purely out of the desire to learn and practice, than she ever was before we’d decided with her therapy team and school that homework was just not a thing this kid could handle. Luckily for my older daughter my school’s 3rd-grade team decided to hand out homework only 3x/week, and the sheets take no more than 15-20 minutes to complete. That is totally reasonable for 8-9 year olds!  Anyway tl;dr just because the school system may require it sure as shit doesn’t mean parents can’t, or shouldn’t, fight it. Do what’s right for your kid, and above all, let them be kids.  I eventually stopped doing homework because I was overwhelmed by it. There was an article just the other day in the local paper about a primary school that’s abolishing homework! You can read it here (autoplay video, gives you a few seconds to stop it). Homework is intrusive in a young child’s life. It makes sense for adults who will likely have to bring work home with them so in college it’s good training. But for young kids. No. Seriously I’m 100% on board with this. There are high school students expected to do three or four hours and beyond worth of homework every day. It’s fucking ridiculous. And I work in elementary school where we literally have little kids develop anxiety disorder and have panic attacks over homework and testing. This shit is not normal.
Children, College, and Confidence: Maya's Homework
 5:32 PM (9 minutes ago)
 Bunmi Laditan
 to
 Hello Maya's teachers,
 Maya will be drastically reducing the amount of homework she does this year. She's been very stressed and is starting to have
 physical symptoms such as chest pain and waking up at 4AM worrying about her school workload.
 She's not behind academically and very much enjoys school. We've consulted with a tutor and a therapist suggested we lighten
 her workload. Doing 2-3 hours of homework after getting home at 4:30 is leaving little time for her to just be a child and enjoy
 family time and we'd like to avoid her sinking into a depression over this.
 Thank you for understanding.
 warmly, Bunmi
vaporwavevocap:

ryttu3k:
darkwizardjamesmason:

dienaziscum:

fishcustardandclintbarton:

huffingtonpost:


Mom declares her daughter is done with homework in viral email.
Blogger Bunmi Laditan sent her 10-year-old’s school a clear message.
“Hello Maya’s teachers,
Maya will be drastically reducing the amount of homework she does this year. She’s been very stressed and is starting to have physical symptoms such as chest pain and waking up at 4 a.m. worrying about her school workload. 
She’s not behind academically and very much enjoys school. We consulted with a tutor and a therapist suggested we lighten her workload. Doing 2-3 hours of homework after getting home at 4:30 is leaving little time for her to just be a child and enjoy family time and we’d like to avoid her sinking into a depression over this.”


A++++ parenting 💜

I’ve talked with a whole cadre of child therapists and psychiatrists about this very issue. There is little conclusive evidence that homework significantly improves elementary school children’s grades, understanding of subjects, or facility with various operations, processes, etc. However, plenty of evidence suggests that ever-increasing amounts of homework for young children lead to stress, anxiety, emotional fatigue, resistance toward academics in general, lack of leisure time to build social/interpersonal skills, and poorer family relations.  (My kids were doing about 3 hours a week IN KINDERGARTEN, at age 5 – so that’s Âœ hour every night, after a 6.5 hour school day, or else saving it up for long slogs over the weekend, even more disruptive. And that wasn’t including reading practice!) 


We have stopped doing homework altogether with my 7 year old as a result of severe anxiety/depression and a learning disability. She had gotten to a place where she had so little self confidence and truly believed that she was stupid and worthless, not just because of homework of course – but every time we tried to sit down to do homework with her, it’d end in tears with her really vehemently berating herself, and no amount of encouragement could ameliorate the damage done. Now, granted, she’s got other things going on besides just an overload of school work. But in NO WAY did the homework help her, either academically or emotionally. 
No little kid should have to spend an hour or more each night getting through homework. Now, my deal with Siena is that if she wants to give her homework a shot, I will absolutely help her if she wishes for help, but I no longer force her to complete all of it or to work on it for some set length of time before finally throwing in the towel. 
Guess what? With the pressure taken off, she’s actually doing MORE independent work now, purely out of the desire to learn and practice, than she ever was before we’d decided with her therapy team and school that homework was just not a thing this kid could handle.
Luckily for my older daughter my school’s 3rd-grade team decided to hand out homework only 3x/week, and the sheets take no more than 15-20 minutes to complete. That is totally reasonable for 8-9 year olds! 
Anyway tl;dr just because the school system may require it sure as shit doesn’t mean parents can’t, or shouldn’t, fight it. Do what’s right for your kid, and above all, let them be kids. 

I eventually stopped doing homework because I was overwhelmed by it.

There was an article just the other day in the local paper about a primary school that’s abolishing homework! You can read it here (autoplay video, gives you a few seconds to stop it).


Homework is intrusive in a young child’s life. It makes sense for adults who will likely have to bring work home with them so in college it’s good training. But for young kids. No.

Seriously I’m 100% on board with this. There are high school students expected to do three or four hours and beyond worth of homework every day. It’s fucking ridiculous. And I work in elementary school where we literally have little kids develop anxiety disorder and have panic attacks over homework and testing. This shit is not normal.

vaporwavevocap: ryttu3k: darkwizardjamesmason: dienaziscum: fishcustardandclintbarton: huffingtonpost: Mom declares her daughter is do...

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | Ä°lke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Ä°lke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | Ä°lke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Ä°lke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | Ä°lke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Ä°lke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | Ä°lke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Ä°lke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Being Alone, Children, and Dude: Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault Watching a couple on what appears to be a terrible first coffee date at the table next to me. Dude is every precious self- involved writer 4:12 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 267 t3 154 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault "I'm writing a screenplay. It's about this guy who never really feels like he fits in. Like he's just different" 4:13 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 178 121 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault "People tell me I look like James Franco." 4:15 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 145 t97 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault She keeps politely asking him questions. Not once has he asked her about herself Wait he just asked if she'd ever dated a writer wtf 4:17 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 204 122 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault "Writing is really hard. People don't know that. It involves a lot of introspection, a lot of wrestling with your own demons." 4:19 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada t 110 150 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault He's now complaining about the "body" of the coffee, telling her he knows a place that doesn't over-roast their beans. 4:26 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 154 t 97 Note to self, don't ever date a writer. Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault Girl works for a non-profit. Dude is condescendingly explaining to her why most non-profit models don't work, he looked into making one once 4:35 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 163 t 101 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault Every single thing she mentions he "did that one time, with my buddy" and is now an expert in 4:38 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 134 t92 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault Girl: I actually love cooking Dude: Oh god you should try my puttanesca sauce, my friend who's a chef says it's even better than his Anne Theriault Follow @anne_theriault "A lot of my friends are having kids but I don't know," *self conscious laugh* "I can barely take care of myself let alone a baby." 4:43 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 88 t 61 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault OH NO NOW HE'S TALKING ABOUT HOW HIS FEAR OF HAVING CHILDREN STEMS FROM HIS DADDY ISSUES AND I CANNOT 4:45 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 154 t84 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault Girl has a look of mild panic. 4:46 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 113 t77 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault Girl just looked at her phone in feigned surprise. "Oh weird, I have a text from my mom." I just snorted audibly, turned it into fake cough 4:50 PM -3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 275 t103 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault Dude, oblivious: "oh yeah? That's awesome, I don't think my mom even knows how to text" 4:51 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 96 13 70 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault Girl: "yeah, she's, uh, worried she left her stove on. she's in a meeting and can't go home. I'd better go check for her." 4:53 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 213 t 87 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault Dude: do you want to go and come back? Girl: It's pretty far. Maybe we can do this again next week? I'll text you OUT THE DOOR LIKE A SHOT 4:58 PM-3 Jul 2015 315 95 Anne ThĂ©riault Follow @anne_theriault He just opened his laptop and started typing. I hope it's a sad story about his life 4:59 PM - 3 Jul 2015 304 t 87 caffeinatedinsanity: matronofthevoid: blackberries-and-arsenic: underwearandourjackedupthumbs: hohomylad: #honestly i dont care if its fake It’s not. It happens every day all around the world. Hate to break it to ya boys!But you’ve been on THAT EXACT DATE TOO!

.only you were the oblivious and self involved guy that she ran from though! <:) Hey I can reliably say I’ve never been this guy! 👍👍 I don’t go on dates.
Being Alone, Children, and Dude: Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 Watching a couple on what appears to be a terrible first coffee
 date at the table next to me. Dude is every precious self-
 involved writer
 4:12 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 267
 t3 154
 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 "I'm writing a screenplay. It's about this guy who never really
 feels like he fits in. Like he's just different"
 4:13 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 178
 121
 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 "People tell me I look like James Franco."
 4:15 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 145
 t97
 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 She keeps politely asking him questions. Not once has he asked
 her about herself
 Wait he just asked if she'd ever dated a writer wtf
 4:17 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 204
 122

 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 "Writing is really hard. People don't know that. It involves a lot of
 introspection, a lot of wrestling with your own demons."
 4:19 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 t 110 150
 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 He's now complaining about the "body" of the coffee, telling her
 he knows a place that doesn't over-roast their beans.
 4:26 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 154
 t 97
 Note to self, don't ever date a writer.
 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 Girl works for a non-profit. Dude is condescendingly explaining
 to her why most non-profit models don't work, he looked into
 making one once
 4:35 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 163
 t 101
 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 Every single thing she mentions he "did that one time, with my
 buddy" and is now an expert in
 4:38 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 134
 t92
 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 Girl: I actually love cooking
 Dude: Oh god you should try my puttanesca sauce, my friend
 who's a chef says it's even better than his

 Anne Theriault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 "A lot of my friends are having kids but I don't know," *self
 conscious laugh* "I can barely take care of myself let alone a
 baby."
 4:43 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 88
 t 61
 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 OH NO NOW HE'S TALKING ABOUT HOW HIS FEAR OF
 HAVING CHILDREN STEMS FROM HIS DADDY ISSUES AND
 I CANNOT
 4:45 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 154
 t84
 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 Girl has a look of mild panic.
 4:46 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 113
 t77
 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 Girl just looked at her phone in feigned surprise. "Oh weird, I
 have a text from my mom." I just snorted audibly, turned it into
 fake cough
 4:50 PM -3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 275
 t103
 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 Dude, oblivious: "oh yeah? That's awesome, I don't think my
 mom even knows how to text"
 4:51 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 96
 13 70

 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 Girl: "yeah, she's, uh, worried she left her stove on. she's in a
 meeting and can't go home. I'd better go check for her."
 4:53 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 213
 t 87
 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 Dude: do you want to go and come back?
 Girl: It's pretty far. Maybe we can do this again next week? I'll
 text you
 OUT THE DOOR LIKE A SHOT
 4:58 PM-3 Jul 2015
 315
 95
 Anne Thériault
 Follow
 @anne_theriault
 He just opened his laptop and started typing. I hope it's a sad
 story about his life
 4:59 PM - 3 Jul 2015
 304
 t 87
caffeinatedinsanity:

matronofthevoid:

blackberries-and-arsenic:
underwearandourjackedupthumbs:

hohomylad:

#honestly i dont care if its fake

It’s not. It happens every day all around the world.



Hate to break it to ya boys!But you’ve been on THAT EXACT DATE TOO!

.only you were the oblivious and self involved guy that she ran from though! <:)

Hey I can reliably say I’ve never been this guy! 👍👍 I don’t go on dates.

caffeinatedinsanity: matronofthevoid: blackberries-and-arsenic: underwearandourjackedupthumbs: hohomylad: #honestly i dont care if its f...