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    Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod:

rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me
they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway. 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit. 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod:

rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me
they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway. 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit. 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

                
            

            
            
arianod:

rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerf...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Children, Climbing, and Fucking: elidyce:

luckyladylily:

ohnoagremlin:

itsvondell:

off-in-lala-land:

You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip the game from his hands, stash it in my backpack, and force him to enjoy history goddamnit. This vacation cost a lot and the game is only for the hotel and travel time.

imagine trying to force someone to think that stonehenge is fun


take your kids places they actually want to go instead of getting mad when they quietly self-entertain, he’s not hurting nobody. me & my shitbag siblings would be climbing that fucking thing, gameboy kid is doing alright 


Some small child: does not yet have the mental development or contextual understanding to appreciate why these particular rocks are extra interesting.
Some adult: God I hate that children don’t think like adults! I would force them to pretend they do because I interpret child thought patterns as a personal insult!

Child: *looks at rocks for approx. 30 seconds, listens to vaguely interesting story about them for another minute or so, glances at the rocks again, is Now Done.
Parent: I understand that your attention span has done all it can with the stimulation provided. Here is your gameboy to keep you entertained while the adults talk about things you don’t find interesting, like the history of very large rocks.
Child: *quietly squats down and plays with the gameboy, allowing adults to enjoy their rocks*
Parent: I am very glad that I understand to some extent how children’s minds work, or this holiday would be a miserable experience for both of us. How fortunate that I planned ahead to allow my child periods of rest and quiet entertainment during excursions that are primarily for my benefit and enjoyment.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Children, Climbing, and Fucking: elidyce:

luckyladylily:

ohnoagremlin:

itsvondell:

off-in-lala-land:

You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip the game from his hands, stash it in my backpack, and force him to enjoy history goddamnit. This vacation cost a lot and the game is only for the hotel and travel time.

imagine trying to force someone to think that stonehenge is fun


take your kids places they actually want to go instead of getting mad when they quietly self-entertain, he’s not hurting nobody. me & my shitbag siblings would be climbing that fucking thing, gameboy kid is doing alright 


Some small child: does not yet have the mental development or contextual understanding to appreciate why these particular rocks are extra interesting.
Some adult: God I hate that children don’t think like adults! I would force them to pretend they do because I interpret child thought patterns as a personal insult!

Child: *looks at rocks for approx. 30 seconds, listens to vaguely interesting story about them for another minute or so, glances at the rocks again, is Now Done.
Parent: I understand that your attention span has done all it can with the stimulation provided. Here is your gameboy to keep you entertained while the adults talk about things you don’t find interesting, like the history of very large rocks.
Child: *quietly squats down and plays with the gameboy, allowing adults to enjoy their rocks*
Parent: I am very glad that I understand to some extent how children’s minds work, or this holiday would be a miserable experience for both of us. How fortunate that I planned ahead to allow my child periods of rest and quiet entertainment during excursions that are primarily for my benefit and enjoyment.

                
            

            
            
elidyce:

luckyladylily:

ohnoagremlin:

itsvondell:

off-in-lala-land:

You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Being Alone, Arguing, and Bad: Alyssa Milano
 @Alyssa_Milano
 Follow
 Ns
 NEWS
 MARIJU
 4:14 PM 18 Apr 2018
 MAKEMAT
 1,593 Retweets 4.735 Likes
 主与玉丰丰
 --
libertarirynn:

vaporwavevocap:

cheshireinthemiddle:
napoleonbonerfarte:


cheshireinthemiddle:

pseudopupil:


cheshireinthemiddle:

hardboiledoldman:


cheshireinthemiddle:


hardboiledoldman:


cheshireinthemiddle:
But you knowingly broke the law. You could sleep with a 17 year old and the age of consent of your state can lower the next year. You still broke the law. 
You’re an unfathomably dumb cunt.


At least I have a good argument. 
And since i’ve already gone into great detail proving my point, unless you have something constructive to add, move along. 


A sound argument is not a good argument, you dummy. Making a sound argument isn’t the same thing as making a good one, and you’ve made a bad argument cause you’re a dumb as fuck bootlicker.
We all know breaking the law has consequences, doesn’t mean we have to think it’s morally good, you brain-worm-riddled moron. Something being normal and the accepted reality doesn’t make it reasonable or good. You’re not smart and your rhetoric is garbage-tier. Eat shit.


A sound argument is one that is well thought out and covers its bases. Which is what I gave. 
Your counterargument is…insults. 
You personally not agreeing with a law doesnt mean that you can just break it. If youre an immigrant coming from a country with a liwer legal drinking age or age of consent, you can see breaking those laws in the US as harmless. You can think they are stupid laws. They might even change in the future. But if you break them in the US, you will be punished. “I personally dont find an. Issue with this law” is not a defense. 
If you want to do something illegal and think it is unfair, work to have the law changed. Advocate for its change. And abide by the new rules (in this case, get a license, sell only to specific people, and dont sell to children). 
And this isnt slavery. This isnt criminalized homosexuality. This isnt infringing on your right to live. You can wait to get high in this particular method or sell it to others after it has been legalized. It isnt that hard. 

You are such an idiot and coward. “Breaking the law is illegal” is the entirety of what you’re saying (congrats on your basic baby brain logic) but its still fucking pathetic you’re defending a heinous prison system simply because you are pussy who loves authority and pointless contrarianism. Like it IS a stupid law and the point of this comic is that no one should lose years (or any time!) of their life over it.
 If the government made a law that jaywalking is a felony you’d defend people being locked away only because they “broke the law”. Thats stupid and says more about you than anything. Grow a spine you slug.


Another person who just insults and doesnt read. 
The argument isnt “breaking the law is illegal”, but that knowingly breaking the law comes with predictable punishments. 
If you dont agree with a law, you advocate for its change. 
You dont personally get to decide what is and isnt a stupid law. The age of consent in France is 15. And if you live in France, that could seem harmless. But if you immigrated to Japan or the US and started sleeping with 15 year olds, you can argue that it is harmless all you want, but it is still illegal. 
The government has made leaving your preteen or lower child home alone as a form child abuse. You can have your children taken away if you do it too much. I was left alone at 8 years old. All the time. I was fine. The other little kids left alone were fine. We could handle ourselves. We and Our parents saw it as “harmless”. That doesnt mean the parents cant be pubished for it. 
“I will break this law because i personally dont like it/think it’s harmless” is acceptable to you until it is used on a law that you actually support. 

“maybe if those jews didn’t want to get sent to concentration camps they shouldn’t have been jewish in poland.” that’s exactly what you sound like lmao. I’m really not sure what argument you’re trying to go for right now?


Oh, i’m sorry, I guess you getting high is comparable to persecution now. Your argument can be used to justify breaking literally any law. 
There is a HUGE difference between laws that violate your right to live and laws that you just dont feel like following. 
If you cant see the difference then i feel very sorry for you. 

It is persecution, if there is no victim there is no crime, therefore treating people like criminals without a crime is persecution.

What she said ^

Also forcing people into legal slavery by arresting and imprisoning them for victimless crimes sure as shit sounds like persecution to me.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Being Alone, Arguing, and Bad: Alyssa Milano
 @Alyssa_Milano
 Follow
 Ns
 NEWS
 MARIJU
 4:14 PM 18 Apr 2018
 MAKEMAT
 1,593 Retweets 4.735 Likes
 主与玉丰丰
 --
libertarirynn:

vaporwavevocap:

cheshireinthemiddle:
napoleonbonerfarte:


cheshireinthemiddle:

pseudopupil:


cheshireinthemiddle:

hardboiledoldman:


cheshireinthemiddle:


hardboiledoldman:


cheshireinthemiddle:
But you knowingly broke the law. You could sleep with a 17 year old and the age of consent of your state can lower the next year. You still broke the law. 
You’re an unfathomably dumb cunt.


At least I have a good argument. 
And since i’ve already gone into great detail proving my point, unless you have something constructive to add, move along. 


A sound argument is not a good argument, you dummy. Making a sound argument isn’t the same thing as making a good one, and you’ve made a bad argument cause you’re a dumb as fuck bootlicker.
We all know breaking the law has consequences, doesn’t mean we have to think it’s morally good, you brain-worm-riddled moron. Something being normal and the accepted reality doesn’t make it reasonable or good. You’re not smart and your rhetoric is garbage-tier. Eat shit.


A sound argument is one that is well thought out and covers its bases. Which is what I gave. 
Your counterargument is…insults. 
You personally not agreeing with a law doesnt mean that you can just break it. If youre an immigrant coming from a country with a liwer legal drinking age or age of consent, you can see breaking those laws in the US as harmless. You can think they are stupid laws. They might even change in the future. But if you break them in the US, you will be punished. “I personally dont find an. Issue with this law” is not a defense. 
If you want to do something illegal and think it is unfair, work to have the law changed. Advocate for its change. And abide by the new rules (in this case, get a license, sell only to specific people, and dont sell to children). 
And this isnt slavery. This isnt criminalized homosexuality. This isnt infringing on your right to live. You can wait to get high in this particular method or sell it to others after it has been legalized. It isnt that hard. 

You are such an idiot and coward. “Breaking the law is illegal” is the entirety of what you’re saying (congrats on your basic baby brain logic) but its still fucking pathetic you’re defending a heinous prison system simply because you are pussy who loves authority and pointless contrarianism. Like it IS a stupid law and the point of this comic is that no one should lose years (or any time!) of their life over it.
 If the government made a law that jaywalking is a felony you’d defend people being locked away only because they “broke the law”. Thats stupid and says more about you than anything. Grow a spine you slug.


Another person who just insults and doesnt read. 
The argument isnt “breaking the law is illegal”, but that knowingly breaking the law comes with predictable punishments. 
If you dont agree with a law, you advocate for its change. 
You dont personally get to decide what is and isnt a stupid law. The age of consent in France is 15. And if you live in France, that could seem harmless. But if you immigrated to Japan or the US and started sleeping with 15 year olds, you can argue that it is harmless all you want, but it is still illegal. 
The government has made leaving your preteen or lower child home alone as a form child abuse. You can have your children taken away if you do it too much. I was left alone at 8 years old. All the time. I was fine. The other little kids left alone were fine. We could handle ourselves. We and Our parents saw it as “harmless”. That doesnt mean the parents cant be pubished for it. 
“I will break this law because i personally dont like it/think it’s harmless” is acceptable to you until it is used on a law that you actually support. 

“maybe if those jews didn’t want to get sent to concentration camps they shouldn’t have been jewish in poland.” that’s exactly what you sound like lmao. I’m really not sure what argument you’re trying to go for right now?


Oh, i’m sorry, I guess you getting high is comparable to persecution now. Your argument can be used to justify breaking literally any law. 
There is a HUGE difference between laws that violate your right to live and laws that you just dont feel like following. 
If you cant see the difference then i feel very sorry for you. 

It is persecution, if there is no victim there is no crime, therefore treating people like criminals without a crime is persecution.

What she said ^

Also forcing people into legal slavery by arresting and imprisoning them for victimless crimes sure as shit sounds like persecution to me.
                
            

            
            
libertarirynn:

vaporwavevocap:

cheshireinthemiddle:
napoleonbonerfarte:


cheshireinthemiddle:

pseudopupil:


cheshireinthemiddle:

hardb...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Being Alone, Arguing, and Bad: Alyssa Milano
 @Alyssa_Milano
 Follow
 Ns
 NEWS
 MARIJU
 4:14 PM 18 Apr 2018
 MAKEMAT
 1,593 Retweets 4.735 Likes
 主与玉丰丰
 --
vaporwavevocap:

cheshireinthemiddle:
napoleonbonerfarte:


cheshireinthemiddle:

pseudopupil:


cheshireinthemiddle:

hardboiledoldman:


cheshireinthemiddle:


hardboiledoldman:


cheshireinthemiddle:
But you knowingly broke the law. You could sleep with a 17 year old and the age of consent of your state can lower the next year. You still broke the law. 
You’re an unfathomably dumb cunt.


At least I have a good argument. 
And since i’ve already gone into great detail proving my point, unless you have something constructive to add, move along. 


A sound argument is not a good argument, you dummy. Making a sound argument isn’t the same thing as making a good one, and you’ve made a bad argument cause you’re a dumb as fuck bootlicker.
We all know breaking the law has consequences, doesn’t mean we have to think it’s morally good, you brain-worm-riddled moron. Something being normal and the accepted reality doesn’t make it reasonable or good. You’re not smart and your rhetoric is garbage-tier. Eat shit.


A sound argument is one that is well thought out and covers its bases. Which is what I gave. 
Your counterargument is…insults. 
You personally not agreeing with a law doesnt mean that you can just break it. If youre an immigrant coming from a country with a liwer legal drinking age or age of consent, you can see breaking those laws in the US as harmless. You can think they are stupid laws. They might even change in the future. But if you break them in the US, you will be punished. “I personally dont find an. Issue with this law” is not a defense. 
If you want to do something illegal and think it is unfair, work to have the law changed. Advocate for its change. And abide by the new rules (in this case, get a license, sell only to specific people, and dont sell to children). 
And this isnt slavery. This isnt criminalized homosexuality. This isnt infringing on your right to live. You can wait to get high in this particular method or sell it to others after it has been legalized. It isnt that hard. 

You are such an idiot and coward. “Breaking the law is illegal” is the entirety of what you’re saying (congrats on your basic baby brain logic) but its still fucking pathetic you’re defending a heinous prison system simply because you are pussy who loves authority and pointless contrarianism. Like it IS a stupid law and the point of this comic is that no one should lose years (or any time!) of their life over it.
 If the government made a law that jaywalking is a felony you’d defend people being locked away only because they “broke the law”. Thats stupid and says more about you than anything. Grow a spine you slug.


Another person who just insults and doesnt read. 
The argument isnt “breaking the law is illegal”, but that knowingly breaking the law comes with predictable punishments. 
If you dont agree with a law, you advocate for its change. 
You dont personally get to decide what is and isnt a stupid law. The age of consent in France is 15. And if you live in France, that could seem harmless. But if you immigrated to Japan or the US and started sleeping with 15 year olds, you can argue that it is harmless all you want, but it is still illegal. 
The government has made leaving your preteen or lower child home alone as a form child abuse. You can have your children taken away if you do it too much. I was left alone at 8 years old. All the time. I was fine. The other little kids left alone were fine. We could handle ourselves. We and Our parents saw it as “harmless”. That doesnt mean the parents cant be pubished for it. 
“I will break this law because i personally dont like it/think it’s harmless” is acceptable to you until it is used on a law that you actually support. 

“maybe if those jews didn’t want to get sent to concentration camps they shouldn’t have been jewish in poland.” that’s exactly what you sound like lmao. I’m really not sure what argument you’re trying to go for right now?


Oh, i’m sorry, I guess you getting high is comparable to persecution now. Your argument can be used to justify breaking literally any law. 
There is a HUGE difference between laws that violate your right to live and laws that you just dont feel like following. 
If you cant see the difference then i feel very sorry for you. 

It is persecution, if there is no victim there is no crime, therefore treating people like criminals without a crime is persecution.

What she said ^
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Being Alone, Arguing, and Bad: Alyssa Milano
 @Alyssa_Milano
 Follow
 Ns
 NEWS
 MARIJU
 4:14 PM 18 Apr 2018
 MAKEMAT
 1,593 Retweets 4.735 Likes
 主与玉丰丰
 --
vaporwavevocap:

cheshireinthemiddle:
napoleonbonerfarte:


cheshireinthemiddle:

pseudopupil:


cheshireinthemiddle:

hardboiledoldman:


cheshireinthemiddle:


hardboiledoldman:


cheshireinthemiddle:
But you knowingly broke the law. You could sleep with a 17 year old and the age of consent of your state can lower the next year. You still broke the law. 
You’re an unfathomably dumb cunt.


At least I have a good argument. 
And since i’ve already gone into great detail proving my point, unless you have something constructive to add, move along. 


A sound argument is not a good argument, you dummy. Making a sound argument isn’t the same thing as making a good one, and you’ve made a bad argument cause you’re a dumb as fuck bootlicker.
We all know breaking the law has consequences, doesn’t mean we have to think it’s morally good, you brain-worm-riddled moron. Something being normal and the accepted reality doesn’t make it reasonable or good. You’re not smart and your rhetoric is garbage-tier. Eat shit.


A sound argument is one that is well thought out and covers its bases. Which is what I gave. 
Your counterargument is…insults. 
You personally not agreeing with a law doesnt mean that you can just break it. If youre an immigrant coming from a country with a liwer legal drinking age or age of consent, you can see breaking those laws in the US as harmless. You can think they are stupid laws. They might even change in the future. But if you break them in the US, you will be punished. “I personally dont find an. Issue with this law” is not a defense. 
If you want to do something illegal and think it is unfair, work to have the law changed. Advocate for its change. And abide by the new rules (in this case, get a license, sell only to specific people, and dont sell to children). 
And this isnt slavery. This isnt criminalized homosexuality. This isnt infringing on your right to live. You can wait to get high in this particular method or sell it to others after it has been legalized. It isnt that hard. 

You are such an idiot and coward. “Breaking the law is illegal” is the entirety of what you’re saying (congrats on your basic baby brain logic) but its still fucking pathetic you’re defending a heinous prison system simply because you are pussy who loves authority and pointless contrarianism. Like it IS a stupid law and the point of this comic is that no one should lose years (or any time!) of their life over it.
 If the government made a law that jaywalking is a felony you’d defend people being locked away only because they “broke the law”. Thats stupid and says more about you than anything. Grow a spine you slug.


Another person who just insults and doesnt read. 
The argument isnt “breaking the law is illegal”, but that knowingly breaking the law comes with predictable punishments. 
If you dont agree with a law, you advocate for its change. 
You dont personally get to decide what is and isnt a stupid law. The age of consent in France is 15. And if you live in France, that could seem harmless. But if you immigrated to Japan or the US and started sleeping with 15 year olds, you can argue that it is harmless all you want, but it is still illegal. 
The government has made leaving your preteen or lower child home alone as a form child abuse. You can have your children taken away if you do it too much. I was left alone at 8 years old. All the time. I was fine. The other little kids left alone were fine. We could handle ourselves. We and Our parents saw it as “harmless”. That doesnt mean the parents cant be pubished for it. 
“I will break this law because i personally dont like it/think it’s harmless” is acceptable to you until it is used on a law that you actually support. 

“maybe if those jews didn’t want to get sent to concentration camps they shouldn’t have been jewish in poland.” that’s exactly what you sound like lmao. I’m really not sure what argument you’re trying to go for right now?


Oh, i’m sorry, I guess you getting high is comparable to persecution now. Your argument can be used to justify breaking literally any law. 
There is a HUGE difference between laws that violate your right to live and laws that you just dont feel like following. 
If you cant see the difference then i feel very sorry for you. 

It is persecution, if there is no victim there is no crime, therefore treating people like criminals without a crime is persecution.

What she said ^
                
            

            
            
vaporwavevocap:

cheshireinthemiddle:
napoleonbonerfarte:


cheshireinthemiddle:

pseudopupil:


cheshireinthemiddle:

hardboiledoldman:


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    Alive, Bad, and College: Side Effects
 Follow
 ECTS @SideEffectsNews
 Why aren't millennials giving blood?
 bit.ly/2fRZG5i
 5:14 PM 28 Sep 2017

 Belinda Blumenthal
 @philomenapunk
 Follow
 because we all gay
 ide Effects @SideEffectsNews
 Why aren't millennials giving blood? bit.ly/2fRZG5i
 11:29 AM 3 Oct 2017
 3,199 Retweets 11,051 Likes
agapantoblu:

somecunttookmyurl:
creaturethatcries:


dr-dendritic-trees:

karnythia:

voidbat:

genderfuckt:


optimysticals:

the-fury-of-a-time-lord:

luidilovins:

the-modern-satyr:

seedydemigod:

captainfunkpunkandroll:

the-real-eye-to-see:
Didn’t even know people are not allowed to give blood if they are gay


That’s been the thing for years. The HIV scare of the ‘80s prohibited us from donating blood. And they still hold that against us despite the fact that that claim has been debunked over and over again.

the wording on the paperwork is “Are you a man who has had sexual intercourse with a man after 1980” or “Are you a woman who has had sexual intercourse with a man who has had sexual intercourse with another man since 1980” (this was a blood drive at my college  where majority of the students werent Alive in 1980.) I donated all the time back when I was a virgin, because o- , but now I’m not allowed to. So a better question for this article is “Why won’t baby boomers let queer people donate blood, even though all the blood gets screened for HIV and aids anyway?” though, theres a lot of room for loopholes in the wording of it   


This fucking matters. Bias in medicine is bias that should not exist. Fucking fix it.


This is disgusting 

hey trans people can’t give blood either. was banned from a plasma place for having the nerve to show up and be trans. “we don’t serve you people”.

This is one of the reasons why it was painful for a LOT of Queer people after the Pulse shooting. We kept seeing messages calling for blood donations but so many of us can’t donate. We couldn’t even help our own community. 


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


as someone who has received money and/or drugs in exchange for sex, i have a lifetime ban on giving blood. FURTHERMORE, my whore blood is so filthy that if you’ve had sex with me in the past year, YOU can’t give blood!
and that’s a federal goddamn guideline, folks! 

If you lived in Europe for 3 months between 1980 and 1996 you can’t donate blood which basically takes out everyone who ever served in the military and was stationed overseas, anyone who studied abroad or anyone who had a job overseas during that period. The Red Cross is always announcing they have a shortage of blood donors but they create the shortage with the byzantine array of restrictions that they refuse to revisit. 

Okay, the above stuff is stigma and total crap, we have efficient screens for HIV and things now, the blood will be screened anyway, banning people for their sexual history is completely prejudice and its wasteful, and those rules really need to go.
But the last one, the ban on donation for people living in Europe, is actually done for a reason. Its an attempt to limit the spread of vCJD, which we don’t have a way of screening for right now.


Last i went you could donate blood if trans, I was openly trans at my blood clinic and they took me. So its probably just that particular clinic, which I say so that other trans people arent discouraged from trying to donate.
Also… as long as its the only question you lie on… if theres a blood shortage emergency I really dont see why not lie on that one question. Like its terrible to have to do that and im not trying to make you feel bad if you avoiding donating because of it, but since we know its not scientifically founded it seems perfectly moral to me to lie on that one question if you want to donate. There’s not really a way for them to fact check that.


I really never understood why people don’t just LIE
“Heartbroken they couldn’t-“ JUST LIE ON THE FORM

I’m an openly queer woman in Italy and I’ve never lied on my form, but also, my form doesn’t even ask the gender of my partner. All the questions are phrased “have you had any heterosexual or homosexual intercourse in the past six months?”, “have you changed partner in the past six months?” They are willingly phrased to work for all people because there’s literally no scientific reason as to why straight blood would be safer than gay blood.It’s just a formality. Honestly, you could write you just had an orgy and as long as you claim you’ve practiced safe sex they’ll give you the green card to donate. At most, they mark your sack for a more thorough venereal diseases screening in case you couldn’t affirm for sure that you’re 100% clean.The whole “but after the AIDS scare” discourse is bullcrap. They give AIDS informative flyers to all donors once a year and they screen for HIV all the sacks. Whenever you donate, you get the analysis results back and if you check, straight or gay, there’s always the results for the HIV test. Because medicine knows that straights and gays are all equally likely to be affected, it’s how it is.If you’re gay, you can donate. If you’re trans, the most that can happen is that your doctor allows you two yearly donations, roughly six months apart, if you are having your period; otherwise you’re allowed three yearly donations, roughly four months apart. That’s it.If the forms are like those provided in Italy, you won’t have even have to lie. If you live in some dumbass country that thinks you cannot donate if you’re queer, though, yeah, just fucking lie about it because there is no valid reason that says you cannot give blood.It’s an whole different matter if we’re talking about restrictions based on where you were at X date.These questions are common worldwide because they refer to viruses and infections that cannot be screened. This is not made because the Red Cross is mean and cruel and whatever the fuck; it’s because they cannot be sure your blood is not contaminated and since the blood is going to someone who, it stands to reason, is already compromised on their own, they cannot fight their own battle and add more. That’s why you cannot donate. My uncle died because he was fighting leukemia and was injected a transfusion of infected blood. DO NOT LIE ON THE FORM ABOUT ILLNESSES YOU HAD OR PLACES YOU’VE BEEN TO. YOUR WISH TO DONATE IS WORTH JACK SHIT IF YOU CONTAMINATE SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T HONEST.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Alive, Bad, and College: Side Effects
 Follow
 ECTS @SideEffectsNews
 Why aren't millennials giving blood?
 bit.ly/2fRZG5i
 5:14 PM 28 Sep 2017

 Belinda Blumenthal
 @philomenapunk
 Follow
 because we all gay
 ide Effects @SideEffectsNews
 Why aren't millennials giving blood? bit.ly/2fRZG5i
 11:29 AM 3 Oct 2017
 3,199 Retweets 11,051 Likes
agapantoblu:

somecunttookmyurl:
creaturethatcries:


dr-dendritic-trees:

karnythia:

voidbat:

genderfuckt:


optimysticals:

the-fury-of-a-time-lord:

luidilovins:

the-modern-satyr:

seedydemigod:

captainfunkpunkandroll:

the-real-eye-to-see:
Didn’t even know people are not allowed to give blood if they are gay


That’s been the thing for years. The HIV scare of the ‘80s prohibited us from donating blood. And they still hold that against us despite the fact that that claim has been debunked over and over again.

the wording on the paperwork is “Are you a man who has had sexual intercourse with a man after 1980” or “Are you a woman who has had sexual intercourse with a man who has had sexual intercourse with another man since 1980” (this was a blood drive at my college  where majority of the students werent Alive in 1980.) I donated all the time back when I was a virgin, because o- , but now I’m not allowed to. So a better question for this article is “Why won’t baby boomers let queer people donate blood, even though all the blood gets screened for HIV and aids anyway?” though, theres a lot of room for loopholes in the wording of it   


This fucking matters. Bias in medicine is bias that should not exist. Fucking fix it.


This is disgusting 

hey trans people can’t give blood either. was banned from a plasma place for having the nerve to show up and be trans. “we don’t serve you people”.

This is one of the reasons why it was painful for a LOT of Queer people after the Pulse shooting. We kept seeing messages calling for blood donations but so many of us can’t donate. We couldn’t even help our own community. 


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


as someone who has received money and/or drugs in exchange for sex, i have a lifetime ban on giving blood. FURTHERMORE, my whore blood is so filthy that if you’ve had sex with me in the past year, YOU can’t give blood!
and that’s a federal goddamn guideline, folks! 

If you lived in Europe for 3 months between 1980 and 1996 you can’t donate blood which basically takes out everyone who ever served in the military and was stationed overseas, anyone who studied abroad or anyone who had a job overseas during that period. The Red Cross is always announcing they have a shortage of blood donors but they create the shortage with the byzantine array of restrictions that they refuse to revisit. 

Okay, the above stuff is stigma and total crap, we have efficient screens for HIV and things now, the blood will be screened anyway, banning people for their sexual history is completely prejudice and its wasteful, and those rules really need to go.
But the last one, the ban on donation for people living in Europe, is actually done for a reason. Its an attempt to limit the spread of vCJD, which we don’t have a way of screening for right now.


Last i went you could donate blood if trans, I was openly trans at my blood clinic and they took me. So its probably just that particular clinic, which I say so that other trans people arent discouraged from trying to donate.
Also… as long as its the only question you lie on… if theres a blood shortage emergency I really dont see why not lie on that one question. Like its terrible to have to do that and im not trying to make you feel bad if you avoiding donating because of it, but since we know its not scientifically founded it seems perfectly moral to me to lie on that one question if you want to donate. There’s not really a way for them to fact check that.


I really never understood why people don’t just LIE
“Heartbroken they couldn’t-“ JUST LIE ON THE FORM

I’m an openly queer woman in Italy and I’ve never lied on my form, but also, my form doesn’t even ask the gender of my partner. All the questions are phrased “have you had any heterosexual or homosexual intercourse in the past six months?”, “have you changed partner in the past six months?” They are willingly phrased to work for all people because there’s literally no scientific reason as to why straight blood would be safer than gay blood.It’s just a formality. Honestly, you could write you just had an orgy and as long as you claim you’ve practiced safe sex they’ll give you the green card to donate. At most, they mark your sack for a more thorough venereal diseases screening in case you couldn’t affirm for sure that you’re 100% clean.The whole “but after the AIDS scare” discourse is bullcrap. They give AIDS informative flyers to all donors once a year and they screen for HIV all the sacks. Whenever you donate, you get the analysis results back and if you check, straight or gay, there’s always the results for the HIV test. Because medicine knows that straights and gays are all equally likely to be affected, it’s how it is.If you’re gay, you can donate. If you’re trans, the most that can happen is that your doctor allows you two yearly donations, roughly six months apart, if you are having your period; otherwise you’re allowed three yearly donations, roughly four months apart. That’s it.If the forms are like those provided in Italy, you won’t have even have to lie. If you live in some dumbass country that thinks you cannot donate if you’re queer, though, yeah, just fucking lie about it because there is no valid reason that says you cannot give blood.It’s an whole different matter if we’re talking about restrictions based on where you were at X date.These questions are common worldwide because they refer to viruses and infections that cannot be screened. This is not made because the Red Cross is mean and cruel and whatever the fuck; it’s because they cannot be sure your blood is not contaminated and since the blood is going to someone who, it stands to reason, is already compromised on their own, they cannot fight their own battle and add more. That’s why you cannot donate. My uncle died because he was fighting leukemia and was injected a transfusion of infected blood. DO NOT LIE ON THE FORM ABOUT ILLNESSES YOU HAD OR PLACES YOU’VE BEEN TO. YOUR WISH TO DONATE IS WORTH JACK SHIT IF YOU CONTAMINATE SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T HONEST.
                
            

            
            
agapantoblu:

somecunttookmyurl:
creaturethatcries:


dr-dendritic-trees:

karnythia:

voidbat:

genderfuckt:


optimysticals:

the-fury-of-...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Ass, Cinderella , and Click: kaylapocalypse:
 ok 
so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you should. Like… if you’re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn’t do it justice.
The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific. 
I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture.
This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only like 1 minute long.
Highlights/Breakdown
The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast. 
the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of “Please! Monster!”
Fiona’s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around–strength that he disregards which is why hes surprised as hell when he gets his ass beat
Just the entire french accent that isn’t even a good french accent at all.
The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background 
Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore™; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like “yikesssss”
shrek’s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the “saucy little maid” bit. 
“what hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.”  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging “wtf” gestures. 
When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek’s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like “wow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison” which is additionally apart of the above long running joke
Fiona interrupting robin with a kick.
the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock. 
The fight after isn’t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef*
Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Ass, Cinderella , and Click: kaylapocalypse:
 ok 
so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you should. Like… if you’re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn’t do it justice.
The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific. 
I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture.
This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only like 1 minute long.
Highlights/Breakdown
The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast. 
the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of “Please! Monster!”
Fiona’s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around–strength that he disregards which is why hes surprised as hell when he gets his ass beat
Just the entire french accent that isn’t even a good french accent at all.
The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background 
Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore™; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like “yikesssss”
shrek’s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the “saucy little maid” bit. 
“what hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.”  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging “wtf” gestures. 
When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek’s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like “wow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison” which is additionally apart of the above long running joke
Fiona interrupting robin with a kick.
the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock. 
The fight after isn’t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef*
Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.
                
            

            
            
kaylapocalypse:
 ok 
so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you shou...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            




    Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s
 You're in charge of assigning every child
 on Earth the monster under their bed
 One child in particular has caused every
 monster assigned to him/her to quit. You
 decide to assign yourself.
 kittenwiskers
 Case: #273402
 Status: Disastrous
 I stare at the file and realize I have no
 options, over the last 2 years every
 monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has
 quit, every last one. Her first monster; a
 giant goldfish-faced humanoid named
 Bubba, had been with her for four years
 and then she wasn't scared of him
 anymore. After that it was a string of
 different common, uncommon, and rare
 monsters... I even assigned a sentient
 sock monster to her. He came back
 crying
 I look on my tablet, only one assignable
 monster left; myself. Field work has never
 been my cup of tea, but desperate times
 call for desperate measures. So at 8:03
 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte
 and her little brother Daniel; I slither into
 the space beneath Charlotte's bed
 Across the room underneath Daniel's crib
 is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind
 of monster.
 I turn my attention to the bed above me,
 Charlotte is still awake but barely, reach
 up over the bed and run an ice cold
 finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it
 again
 "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She
 whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can
 see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door
 somewhere in the house slams and there
 is an audible hitch of breath from above
 me. A few minutes go by I can hear
 Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There
 are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and
 loud panting breaths, Charlotte
 scrambles off the bed and..
 She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With
 Me.
 "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I
 The door to the bedroom slams open and
 I smell the stench of human intoxicants
 before the man even steps inside.
 I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of
 my monsters; she's afraid of her own.
 Francis reaches a hand under the bed
 and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to
 pull, I slither out.
 "What the... I cut Francis's next words
 off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height.
 Looming over the drunken man I caress
 my cold fingers down his face.
 "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my
 child again, I will find you, and I will do
 the same to you, for all eternity." I
 promise to him
 As Francis runs from the room he soils
 himself.
 I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck
 her back under her covers and kiss her
 forehead goodnight. "l'll be back
 tomorrow night, sleep well darling."
 Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the
 monster under her bed
 funny.C
awesomacious:

A greatly written story
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s
 You're in charge of assigning every child
 on Earth the monster under their bed
 One child in particular has caused every
 monster assigned to him/her to quit. You
 decide to assign yourself.
 kittenwiskers
 Case: #273402
 Status: Disastrous
 I stare at the file and realize I have no
 options, over the last 2 years every
 monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has
 quit, every last one. Her first monster; a
 giant goldfish-faced humanoid named
 Bubba, had been with her for four years
 and then she wasn't scared of him
 anymore. After that it was a string of
 different common, uncommon, and rare
 monsters... I even assigned a sentient
 sock monster to her. He came back
 crying
 I look on my tablet, only one assignable
 monster left; myself. Field work has never
 been my cup of tea, but desperate times
 call for desperate measures. So at 8:03
 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte
 and her little brother Daniel; I slither into
 the space beneath Charlotte's bed
 Across the room underneath Daniel's crib
 is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind
 of monster.
 I turn my attention to the bed above me,
 Charlotte is still awake but barely, reach
 up over the bed and run an ice cold
 finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it
 again
 "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She
 whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can
 see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door
 somewhere in the house slams and there
 is an audible hitch of breath from above
 me. A few minutes go by I can hear
 Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There
 are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and
 loud panting breaths, Charlotte
 scrambles off the bed and..
 She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With
 Me.
 "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I
 The door to the bedroom slams open and
 I smell the stench of human intoxicants
 before the man even steps inside.
 I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of
 my monsters; she's afraid of her own.
 Francis reaches a hand under the bed
 and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to
 pull, I slither out.
 "What the... I cut Francis's next words
 off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height.
 Looming over the drunken man I caress
 my cold fingers down his face.
 "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my
 child again, I will find you, and I will do
 the same to you, for all eternity." I
 promise to him
 As Francis runs from the room he soils
 himself.
 I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck
 her back under her covers and kiss her
 forehead goodnight. "l'll be back
 tomorrow night, sleep well darling."
 Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the
 monster under her bed
 funny.C
awesomacious:

A greatly written story
                
            

            
            
awesomacious:

A greatly written story

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s
 You're in charge of assigning every child
 on Earth the monster under their bed
 One child in particular has caused every
 monster assigned to him/her to quit. You
 decide to assign yourself.
 kittenwiskers
 Case: #273402
 Status: Disastrous
 I stare at the file and realize I have no
 options, over the last 2 years every
 monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has
 quit, every last one. Her first monster; a
 giant goldfish-faced humanoid named
 Bubba, had been with her for four years
 and then she wasn't scared of him
 anymore. After that it was a string of
 different common, uncommon, and rare
 monsters... I even assigned a sentient
 sock monster to her. He came back
 crying
 I look on my tablet, only one assignable
 monster left; myself. Field work has never
 been my cup of tea, but desperate times
 call for desperate measures. So at 8:03
 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte
 and her little brother Daniel; I slither into
 the space beneath Charlotte's bed
 Across the room underneath Daniel's crib
 is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind
 of monster.
 I turn my attention to the bed above me,
 Charlotte is still awake but barely, reach
 up over the bed and run an ice cold
 finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it
 again
 "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She
 whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can
 see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door
 somewhere in the house slams and there
 is an audible hitch of breath from above
 me. A few minutes go by I can hear
 Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There
 are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and
 loud panting breaths, Charlotte
 scrambles off the bed and..
 She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With
 Me.
 "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I
 The door to the bedroom slams open and
 I smell the stench of human intoxicants
 before the man even steps inside.
 I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of
 my monsters; she's afraid of her own.
 Francis reaches a hand under the bed
 and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to
 pull, I slither out.
 "What the... I cut Francis's next words
 off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height.
 Looming over the drunken man I caress
 my cold fingers down his face.
 "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my
 child again, I will find you, and I will do
 the same to you, for all eternity." I
 promise to him
 As Francis runs from the room he soils
 himself.
 I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck
 her back under her covers and kiss her
 forehead goodnight. "l'll be back
 tomorrow night, sleep well darling."
 Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the
 monster under her bed
 funny.C
awesomacious:

A greatly written story
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s
 You're in charge of assigning every child
 on Earth the monster under their bed
 One child in particular has caused every
 monster assigned to him/her to quit. You
 decide to assign yourself.
 kittenwiskers
 Case: #273402
 Status: Disastrous
 I stare at the file and realize I have no
 options, over the last 2 years every
 monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has
 quit, every last one. Her first monster; a
 giant goldfish-faced humanoid named
 Bubba, had been with her for four years
 and then she wasn't scared of him
 anymore. After that it was a string of
 different common, uncommon, and rare
 monsters... I even assigned a sentient
 sock monster to her. He came back
 crying
 I look on my tablet, only one assignable
 monster left; myself. Field work has never
 been my cup of tea, but desperate times
 call for desperate measures. So at 8:03
 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte
 and her little brother Daniel; I slither into
 the space beneath Charlotte's bed
 Across the room underneath Daniel's crib
 is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind
 of monster.
 I turn my attention to the bed above me,
 Charlotte is still awake but barely, reach
 up over the bed and run an ice cold
 finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it
 again
 "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She
 whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can
 see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door
 somewhere in the house slams and there
 is an audible hitch of breath from above
 me. A few minutes go by I can hear
 Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There
 are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and
 loud panting breaths, Charlotte
 scrambles off the bed and..
 She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With
 Me.
 "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I
 The door to the bedroom slams open and
 I smell the stench of human intoxicants
 before the man even steps inside.
 I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of
 my monsters; she's afraid of her own.
 Francis reaches a hand under the bed
 and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to
 pull, I slither out.
 "What the... I cut Francis's next words
 off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height.
 Looming over the drunken man I caress
 my cold fingers down his face.
 "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my
 child again, I will find you, and I will do
 the same to you, for all eternity." I
 promise to him
 As Francis runs from the room he soils
 himself.
 I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck
 her back under her covers and kiss her
 forehead goodnight. "l'll be back
 tomorrow night, sleep well darling."
 Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the
 monster under her bed
 funny.C
awesomacious:

A greatly written story
                
            

            
            
awesomacious:

A greatly written story

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s
 You're in charge of assigning every child
 on Earth the monster under their bed
 One child in particular has caused every
 monster assigned to him/her to quit. You
 decide to assign yourself.
 kittenwiskers
 Case: #273402
 Status: Disastrous
 I stare at the file and realize I have no
 options, over the last 2 years every
 monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has
 quit, every last one. Her first monster; a
 giant goldfish-faced humanoid named
 Bubba, had been with her for four years
 and then she wasn't scared of him
 anymore. After that it was a string of
 different common, uncommon, and rare
 monsters... I even assigned a sentient
 sock monster to her. He came back
 crying
 I look on my tablet, only one assignable
 monster left; myself. Field work has never
 been my cup of tea, but desperate times
 call for desperate measures. So at 8:03
 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte
 and her little brother Daniel; I slither into
 the space beneath Charlotte's bed
 Across the room underneath Daniel's crib
 is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind
 of monster.
 I turn my attention to the bed above me,
 Charlotte is still awake but barely, reach
 up over the bed and run an ice cold
 finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it
 again
 "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She
 whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can
 see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door
 somewhere in the house slams and there
 is an audible hitch of breath from above
 me. A few minutes go by I can hear
 Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There
 are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and
 loud panting breaths, Charlotte
 scrambles off the bed and..
 She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With
 Me.
 "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I
 The door to the bedroom slams open and
 I smell the stench of human intoxicants
 before the man even steps inside.
 I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of
 my monsters; she's afraid of her own.
 Francis reaches a hand under the bed
 and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to
 pull, I slither out.
 "What the... I cut Francis's next words
 off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height.
 Looming over the drunken man I caress
 my cold fingers down his face.
 "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my
 child again, I will find you, and I will do
 the same to you, for all eternity." I
 promise to him
 As Francis runs from the room he soils
 himself.
 I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck
 her back under her covers and kiss her
 forehead goodnight. "l'll be back
 tomorrow night, sleep well darling."
 Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the
 monster under her bed
 funny.C
A greatly written story
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s
 You're in charge of assigning every child
 on Earth the monster under their bed
 One child in particular has caused every
 monster assigned to him/her to quit. You
 decide to assign yourself.
 kittenwiskers
 Case: #273402
 Status: Disastrous
 I stare at the file and realize I have no
 options, over the last 2 years every
 monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has
 quit, every last one. Her first monster; a
 giant goldfish-faced humanoid named
 Bubba, had been with her for four years
 and then she wasn't scared of him
 anymore. After that it was a string of
 different common, uncommon, and rare
 monsters... I even assigned a sentient
 sock monster to her. He came back
 crying
 I look on my tablet, only one assignable
 monster left; myself. Field work has never
 been my cup of tea, but desperate times
 call for desperate measures. So at 8:03
 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte
 and her little brother Daniel; I slither into
 the space beneath Charlotte's bed
 Across the room underneath Daniel's crib
 is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind
 of monster.
 I turn my attention to the bed above me,
 Charlotte is still awake but barely, reach
 up over the bed and run an ice cold
 finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it
 again
 "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She
 whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can
 see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door
 somewhere in the house slams and there
 is an audible hitch of breath from above
 me. A few minutes go by I can hear
 Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There
 are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and
 loud panting breaths, Charlotte
 scrambles off the bed and..
 She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With
 Me.
 "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I
 The door to the bedroom slams open and
 I smell the stench of human intoxicants
 before the man even steps inside.
 I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of
 my monsters; she's afraid of her own.
 Francis reaches a hand under the bed
 and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to
 pull, I slither out.
 "What the... I cut Francis's next words
 off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height.
 Looming over the drunken man I caress
 my cold fingers down his face.
 "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my
 child again, I will find you, and I will do
 the same to you, for all eternity." I
 promise to him
 As Francis runs from the room he soils
 himself.
 I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck
 her back under her covers and kiss her
 forehead goodnight. "l'll be back
 tomorrow night, sleep well darling."
 Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the
 monster under her bed
 funny.C
A greatly written story
                
            

            
            
A greatly written story

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Family, Pizza, and Work: Yesterday at 11:03 PM
 I work at a small family owned Italian restaurant and
 my boss let's me study when we're slow so he
 brought me a small pizza and said "snack while you
 study". I worked a 12 hour shift today and he fed me
 three times and made me a sandwich to take home.
 He's an angel walking among us.
 h
 ad S e e e
 ina
 yh w
 GST
 l apy w
 fholags ds l
 y d o
 aind t them
 wd 177 d d
 delingaisat
 ears w ley ad
 ha r l cation,
 www.sed in eer ahes Th h
 bw s hing sshur e offding
 vimasley dng r 3i alest
 eal pche Ad de viw w s eend
 dahan d sesal tty W
 ee wr eses it wan ofee varw a begde
 vibe le pee Oaly wl de
 s ou an endty in Eand the
 al sieon
 ook at eaieon laktaton, particulatly
 anging shar l a cialed and g
 R teking than aksAn abernate ur etod
 r died th perticlachy i
 ullanve and sgeria and
 s of thene en ve in powcr-c ed te
 tal dgery oee than and shet boy
 r engge in risky behaier than are gisdsThi
 g fcharicr will be greatesr aN apatrianchal E
 pwer then he etr becasse of his employ
 Thie behavior will be the Irast in nongatriandal
 unms have ngual poner b se of ther oqual
 dvidaal delingacncy ratis are shos viwd w the
 atmbutin of powerper relatione in wt
 r selations in the famaly Tests of puwer
 for a variery of in arguments
 l theury focuses on the greater oetrols of gitl
 r female offesding in the conteat of strain type
 me dicumed the particolar victimizarions she
 e sught o link thes o ehe particular types of
 r Choner Lind and Faith staned thar "eeach
 le ol wd lSe
 m he fdys
 nd enss dels Ainthe
 e De Cte har h
 ie than bos bs they o
 h ale eaing tht m
 s ded thtc t e
 weiolen a le
 ats hare ked
 ndes, an appenschg r e
 s biag tht he a is of
 The Semiioe gndes le hely i
 aratee dn i c e e
 pene hng dm o
 i ascated wrk the
 Se dfirent racial d eth
 niiery What are called "hge w
 as A eie for fernales ae the ty y
 e doisant Euean Airwn ca gS
 and debed this feityglles
 So ney expetol n beh nr
 lett nbe ts that alym ar hsee
 g chentry, and s feth, al they w
 sher they de or ent ck and vher wht e dey
 at the heart of ech of girl
 r victimitation
 7.6K
 124 Comments 148 Shares
So Wholesome!! via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2L0Tnye
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Family, Pizza, and Work: Yesterday at 11:03 PM
 I work at a small family owned Italian restaurant and
 my boss let's me study when we're slow so he
 brought me a small pizza and said "snack while you
 study". I worked a 12 hour shift today and he fed me
 three times and made me a sandwich to take home.
 He's an angel walking among us.
 h
 ad S e e e
 ina
 yh w
 GST
 l apy w
 fholags ds l
 y d o
 aind t them
 wd 177 d d
 delingaisat
 ears w ley ad
 ha r l cation,
 www.sed in eer ahes Th h
 bw s hing sshur e offding
 vimasley dng r 3i alest
 eal pche Ad de viw w s eend
 dahan d sesal tty W
 ee wr eses it wan ofee varw a begde
 vibe le pee Oaly wl de
 s ou an endty in Eand the
 al sieon
 ook at eaieon laktaton, particulatly
 anging shar l a cialed and g
 R teking than aksAn abernate ur etod
 r died th perticlachy i
 ullanve and sgeria and
 s of thene en ve in powcr-c ed te
 tal dgery oee than and shet boy
 r engge in risky behaier than are gisdsThi
 g fcharicr will be greatesr aN apatrianchal E
 pwer then he etr becasse of his employ
 Thie behavior will be the Irast in nongatriandal
 unms have ngual poner b se of ther oqual
 dvidaal delingacncy ratis are shos viwd w the
 atmbutin of powerper relatione in wt
 r selations in the famaly Tests of puwer
 for a variery of in arguments
 l theury focuses on the greater oetrols of gitl
 r female offesding in the conteat of strain type
 me dicumed the particolar victimizarions she
 e sught o link thes o ehe particular types of
 r Choner Lind and Faith staned thar "eeach
 le ol wd lSe
 m he fdys
 nd enss dels Ainthe
 e De Cte har h
 ie than bos bs they o
 h ale eaing tht m
 s ded thtc t e
 weiolen a le
 ats hare ked
 ndes, an appenschg r e
 s biag tht he a is of
 The Semiioe gndes le hely i
 aratee dn i c e e
 pene hng dm o
 i ascated wrk the
 Se dfirent racial d eth
 niiery What are called "hge w
 as A eie for fernales ae the ty y
 e doisant Euean Airwn ca gS
 and debed this feityglles
 So ney expetol n beh nr
 lett nbe ts that alym ar hsee
 g chentry, and s feth, al they w
 sher they de or ent ck and vher wht e dey
 at the heart of ech of girl
 r victimitation
 7.6K
 124 Comments 148 Shares
So Wholesome!! via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2L0Tnye
                
            

            
            
So Wholesome!! via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2L0Tnye