🔥 | Latest

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Facebook, Omg, and Saw: Red @redgermz Saw this on Facebook and sent it to my brother, who is a pharmacist. Unsa man na b 10:29 AM Paracetamol OMG pseudonymsobriquet: klubbhead: halcyonjester: xmagnet-o: cfluffiness: Someone in facebook also posted this too Omg Mediglyphics This shit’s infuriating Oh, this is a type of shorthand! There are 3 main types, but from my research, this looks to be American Gregg Shorthand. As you can see, there are set symbols for every letter. Let’s break one of the words down: Using the Gregg Alphabet as reference, we can see most of the letters in “atrophied” are present. But why no “o” vowel, and why is “ph” written as “f”? Simple. In shorthand, you cut out all vowels in a word when writing it down, with the exception of words that BEGIN or END with a vowel (hence the “a” at the start being present), or like in the “i” in “atrophied”, to make it more readable when the sound could be harder to distinguish if it isn’t written. In “atrophied” if the the “i” isn’t written, it could be hard to tell if the writer meant a “fud”, “fad”, “fod” or “fid” sound, for example. Also, since Shorthand is a phonetic writing system, you are encouraged to write down the phonetic sounds of words rather than the actual letter blends - in this case, write an “f” instead of a “ph”. So in actuality, these aren’t just meaningless scribbles - it’s Gregg Shorthand, a writing system developed to take down notes more quickly than when written out in full, which is very useful in a medical or journalistic environment. Some people can even write over 100 words in a minute! And, it’s been in use since John Robert Gregg invented it in 1888! Wow! So old! Isn’t language amazing~? Ya tenéis traductor.
Facebook, Omg, and Saw: Red
 @redgermz
 Saw this on Facebook and sent it to
 my brother, who is a pharmacist.
 Unsa man na b
 10:29 AM
 Paracetamol
 OMG
pseudonymsobriquet:

klubbhead:

halcyonjester:


xmagnet-o:

cfluffiness:


Someone in facebook also posted this too


Omg

Mediglyphics


This shit’s infuriating

Oh, this is a type of shorthand! 
There are 3 main types, but from my research, this looks to be American Gregg Shorthand.


As you can see, there are set symbols for every letter. 
Let’s break one of the words down:
Using the Gregg Alphabet as reference, we can see most of the letters in “atrophied” are present. But why no “o” vowel, and why is “ph” written as “f”? 
Simple. In shorthand, you cut out all vowels in a word when writing it down, with the exception of words that BEGIN or END with a vowel (hence the “a” at the start being present), or like in the “i” in “atrophied”, to make it more readable when the sound could be harder to distinguish if it isn’t written. In “atrophied” if the the “i” isn’t written, it could be hard to tell if the writer meant a “fud”, “fad”, “fod” or “fid” sound, for example.
Also, since Shorthand is a phonetic writing system, you are encouraged to write down the phonetic sounds of words rather than the actual letter blends - in this case, write an “f” instead of a “ph”. 
So in actuality, these aren’t just meaningless scribbles - it’s Gregg Shorthand, a writing system developed to take down notes more quickly than when written out in full, which is very useful in a medical or journalistic environment. 
Some people can even write over 100 words in a minute! And, it’s been in use since John Robert Gregg invented it in 1888! Wow! So old!
Isn’t language amazing~? 

Ya tenéis traductor.

pseudonymsobriquet: klubbhead: halcyonjester: xmagnet-o: cfluffiness: Someone in facebook also posted this too Omg Mediglyphics ...

Dad, Definitely, and God: Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRRomeo I just had such an affirming experience. On my 8hr intl flight back from a conference, I sat next to a father/son. In broken English, the father began to apologize/ warn me that his 10 yr-old son had severe nonverbal autism, and that this would like be a difficult journey. 1/ 2:59 p.m. 28 Aug. 19 Twitter Web App 41.3K Retweets 178K Likes Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h Replying to@RachelRRomeo I told him not to worry, I was a speech-language pathologist with lots of experience with minimally verbal kiddos. Challenging behaviors began even before take off: screaming, hitting me, and grabbing for my things. The father repeatedly apologized, but did little else. 2/ 55 19.2K ti 813 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR.. 18h I asked him how his son preferred to communicate. He didn't seem to understand. Perhaps this was a language barrier, but I think instead the child had very little experience with communication therapy. I put away the talk I was working on & asked if I could try. He nodded. 3/ 11 18.1K t 705 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR... 18h I tried to see if he was stimulable for a communication board. I started by pulling up some standard images for basic nouns on my computer but I could tell that screens really bothered him. So I summoned my god-awful drawing skills and tried to create a (very!) low-tech board. 4/ 13 18.3K t 680 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h And by god, it clicked. I made symbols for the things he was grabbing, for his favorite stuffed penguin, and for his dad. He took to it very quickly. I introduced way more symbols that I normally would, but hey, how often do we get an 8-hour session?! 5/ 20 22.6K t 768 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h By the end of the flight, he had made several requests, initiated several times, & his behaviors had reduced quite a bit. The father was astounded clearly no one had ever tried an AAC approach with him. I gave him the paper & showed him how to use it, and he nearly cried. 6/ 105 28.5K t 992 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h This was the human desire for communication, pure and simple. To connect with another person and share a thought. Communication is a basic human right, and I was overjoyed to help someone find it. What a privilege and a gift. 7/ 172 t 2,713 48.5K Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. As I face the upcoming job cycle and the nearly endless imposter syndrome of academia, this was precisely the reminder I needed about why I love studying language/communication development. It was a good day to be an #SLP! 8/8 18h 2,387 t 2,987 94K Not sure if it was posted here but definitely should be
Dad, Definitely, and God: Rachel R. Romeo
 @RachelRRomeo
 I just had such an affirming
 experience. On my 8hr intl flight
 back from a conference, I sat next
 to a father/son. In broken English,
 the father began to apologize/
 warn me that his 10 yr-old son
 had severe nonverbal autism, and
 that this would like be a difficult
 journey. 1/
 2:59 p.m. 28 Aug. 19 Twitter Web App
 41.3K Retweets 178K Likes
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 Replying to@RachelRRomeo
 I told him not to worry, I was a
 speech-language pathologist with lots of
 experience with minimally verbal kiddos.
 Challenging behaviors began even
 before take off: screaming, hitting me,
 and grabbing for my things. The father
 repeatedly apologized, but did little else.
 2/
 55
 19.2K
 ti 813
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR.. 18h
 I asked him how his son preferred to
 communicate. He didn't seem to
 understand. Perhaps this was a
 language barrier, but I think instead the
 child had very little experience with
 communication therapy. I put away the
 talk I was working on & asked if I could
 try. He nodded. 3/
 11
 18.1K
 t 705
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR... 18h
 I tried to see if he was stimulable for a
 communication board. I started by
 pulling up some standard images for
 basic nouns on my computer but I could
 tell that screens really bothered him. So I
 summoned my god-awful drawing skills
 and tried to create a (very!) low-tech
 board. 4/
 13
 18.3K
 t 680
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 And by god, it clicked. I made symbols
 for the things he was grabbing, for his
 favorite stuffed penguin, and for his dad.
 He took to it very quickly. I introduced
 way more symbols that I normally would,
 but hey, how often do we get an 8-hour
 session?! 5/
 20
 22.6K
 t 768
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 By the end of the flight, he had made
 several requests, initiated several times,
 & his behaviors had reduced quite a bit.
 The father was astounded clearly no
 one had ever tried an AAC approach with
 him. I gave him the paper & showed him
 how to use it, and he nearly cried. 6/
 105
 28.5K
 t 992
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 This was the human desire for
 communication, pure and simple. To
 connect with another person and share a
 thought. Communication is a basic
 human right, and I was overjoyed to help
 someone find it. What a privilege and a
 gift. 7/
 172
 t 2,713 48.5K
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR..
 As I face the upcoming job cycle and the
 nearly endless imposter syndrome of
 academia, this was precisely the
 reminder I needed about why I love
 studying language/communication
 development. It was a good day to be an
 #SLP! 8/8
 18h
 2,387 t 2,987
 94K
Not sure if it was posted here but definitely should be

Not sure if it was posted here but definitely should be

Corgi, Life, and Love: thathighclassbitch The lifespan ofa corgi So I love corgis! And I think many other people also love corgis, so here's a small life span of your average corgi!!! Ofcourse, every little corgi puppy starts off small. They cant walk or see, but they're born with a fully functional sense of smell! All healthy puppies grow quickly after birth. A puppy's coat color may change as the puppy grows older Puppies develop very quickly during their first three months, particularly after their eyes and ears open and they are no longer completely dependent on their mother!! Their coordination and strength improve, they spar with their littermates, and begin to explore the world outside the nest!! They grow up fast, and soon enough, you'll have a big, grown corgi. However, contrary to popular belief, they aren't done growing just yet. Every corgi has the ability to keep growing, as long as you raise them right. My personal recommendation is to feed them past midnight. After a while, they most likely won't fit in your home anymore. You'll have to buy some land to house your corgi, as they can be a little clumsy in this size. They'll still be equally as loveable, and make for great transportation! Their final stage, they'll be about the size of your average skyscraper. Make sure to keep them out of the city! They aren't malicious, but they're very playful even in this stage! I repeat: Do not keep them in a city/populated area thathighclassbitch Your post has been flagged and is now hidden Why the fuck tumblr Source: thathighclassbi... 32,136 notes
Corgi, Life, and Love: thathighclassbitch
 The lifespan ofa corgi
 So I love corgis! And I think many other people also love corgis, so here's a
 small life span of your average corgi!!!
 Ofcourse, every little corgi puppy starts off small. They cant walk or see, but
 they're born with a fully functional sense of smell! All healthy puppies grow
 quickly after birth. A puppy's coat color may change as the puppy grows older
 Puppies develop very quickly during their first three months, particularly after
 their eyes and ears open and they are no longer completely dependent on their
 mother!! Their coordination and strength improve, they spar with their
 littermates, and begin to explore the world outside the nest!!
 They grow up fast, and soon enough, you'll have a big, grown corgi. However,
 contrary to popular belief, they aren't done growing just yet.
 Every corgi has the ability to keep growing, as long as you raise them right. My
 personal recommendation is to feed them past midnight.
 After a while, they most likely won't fit in your home anymore. You'll have to buy
 some land to house your corgi, as they can be a little clumsy in this size. They'll
 still be equally as loveable, and make for great transportation!
 Their final stage, they'll be about the size of your average skyscraper. Make sure
 to keep them out of the city! They aren't malicious, but they're very playful even
 in this stage!
 I repeat:
 Do not keep them in a city/populated area
 thathighclassbitch
 Your post has been flagged
 and is now hidden
 Why the fuck tumblr
 Source: thathighclassbi...
 32,136 notes

Dad, God, and Journey: Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRRomeo I just had such an affirming experience. On my 8hr intl flight back from a conference, I sat next to a father/son. In broken English, the father began to apologize/ warn me that his 10 yr-old son had severe nonverbal autism, and that this would like be a difficult journey. 1/ 2:59 p.m. 28 Aug. 19 Twitter Web App 41.3K Retweets 178K Likes Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h Replying to @RachelRRomeo I told him not to worry, I was a speech-language pathologist with lots of experience with minimally verbal kiddos. Challenging behaviors began even before take off: screaming, hitting me, and grabbing for my things. The father repeatedly apologized, but did little else. 2/ 55 19.2K t 813 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR... 18h I asked him how his son preferred to communicate. He didn't seem to understand. Perhaps this was a language barrier, but I think instead the child had very little experience with communication therapy. I put away the talk I was working on & asked if I could try. He nodded. 3/ 11 18.1K t 705 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR... 18h I tried to see if he was stimulable for a communication board. I started by pulling up some standard images for basic nouns on my computer but I could tell that screens really bothered him. So I summoned my god-awful drawing skills and tried to create a (very!) low-tech board. 4/ 13 18.3K t 680 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h And by god, it clicked. I made symbols for the things he was grabbing, for his favorite stuffed penguin, and for his dad. He took to it very quickly. I introduced way more symbols that I normally would, but hey, how often do we get an 8-hour session?! 5/ 20 22.6K t 768 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h By the end of the flight, he had made several requests, initiated several times, & his behaviors had reduced quite a bit. The father was astounded clearly no one had ever tried an AAC approach with him. I gave him the paper & showed him how to use it, and he nearly cried. 6/ 105 28.5K t 992 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h This was the human desire for communication, pure and simple. To connect with another person and share a thought. Communication is a basic human right, and I was overjoyed to help someone find it. What a privilege and a gift. 7/ 172 t 2,713 48.5K Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... As I face the upcoming job cycle and the nearly endless imposter syndrome of academia, this was precisely the reminder I needed about why I love studying language/communication development. It was a good day to be an 18h #SLP! 8/8 2,387 t 2,987 94K This👏Is👏Verry👏Wholesome
Dad, God, and Journey: Rachel R. Romeo
 @RachelRRomeo
 I just had such an affirming
 experience. On my 8hr intl flight
 back from a conference, I sat next
 to a father/son. In broken English,
 the father began to apologize/
 warn me that his 10 yr-old son
 had severe nonverbal autism, and
 that this would like be a difficult
 journey. 1/
 2:59 p.m. 28 Aug. 19 Twitter Web App
 41.3K Retweets 178K Likes
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 Replying to @RachelRRomeo
 I told him not to worry, I was a
 speech-language pathologist with lots of
 experience with minimally verbal kiddos.
 Challenging behaviors began even
 before take off: screaming, hitting me,
 and grabbing for my things. The father
 repeatedly apologized, but did little else.
 2/
 55
 19.2K
 t 813
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR... 18h
 I asked him how his son preferred to
 communicate. He didn't seem to
 understand. Perhaps this was a
 language barrier, but I think instead the
 child had very little experience with
 communication therapy. I put away the
 talk I was working on & asked if I could
 try. He nodded. 3/
 11
 18.1K
 t 705
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR... 18h
 I tried to see if he was stimulable for a
 communication board. I started by
 pulling up some standard images for
 basic nouns on my computer but I could
 tell that screens really bothered him. So I
 summoned my god-awful drawing skills
 and tried to create a (very!) low-tech
 board. 4/
 13
 18.3K
 t 680
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 And by god, it clicked. I made symbols
 for the things he was grabbing, for his
 favorite stuffed penguin, and for his dad.
 He took to it very quickly. I introduced
 way more symbols that I normally would,
 but hey, how often do we get an 8-hour
 session?! 5/
 20
 22.6K
 t 768
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 By the end of the flight, he had made
 several requests, initiated several times,
 & his behaviors had reduced quite a bit.
 The father was astounded clearly no
 one had ever tried an AAC approach with
 him. I gave him the paper & showed him
 how to use it, and he nearly cried. 6/
 105
 28.5K
 t 992
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 This was the human desire for
 communication, pure and simple. To
 connect with another person and share a
 thought. Communication is a basic
 human right, and I was overjoyed to help
 someone find it. What a privilege and a
 gift. 7/
 172
 t 2,713 48.5K
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR...
 As I face the upcoming job cycle and the
 nearly endless imposter syndrome of
 academia, this was precisely the
 reminder I needed about why I love
 studying language/communication
 development. It was a good day to be an
 18h
 #SLP! 8/8
 2,387 t 2,987
 94K
This👏Is👏Verry👏Wholesome

This👏Is👏Verry👏Wholesome

Being Alone, Crying, and Dude: thejorie: xilast-zurvifferman: thejorie: jackbecq: thejorie: 19leahjade96: thejorie: madamekagamine: thejorie: gccgrimm: thejorie: gucciballs: thejorie: peble: thejorie: My three girlfriends.And yes, they smoke weed. do they smoke weed? Yes, actually. you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette? It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,) They don’t look like they smoke weed. Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad. Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle. I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING  Well that escalated quickly…… What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body* haha oh my god who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes. love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”. and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”. “the goo pile that is now your body” i’m dying over here, jesus please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun. *shoots you dead* Heh, idiot…*leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.* this dude playin omg  Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.*Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*
Being Alone, Crying, and Dude: thejorie:

xilast-zurvifferman:

thejorie:

jackbecq:

thejorie:

19leahjade96:

thejorie:

madamekagamine:

thejorie:

gccgrimm:

thejorie:

gucciballs:

thejorie:

peble:

thejorie:

My three girlfriends.And yes, they smoke weed.

do they smoke weed?

Yes, actually.

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette? 

It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)

They don’t look like they smoke weed.

Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.

Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.

I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING 

Well that escalated quickly……

What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*

haha oh my god

who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.

love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.

and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.

“the goo pile that is now your body”

i’m dying over here, jesus

please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.

*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot…*leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*

this dude playin omg 

Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.*Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

thejorie: xilast-zurvifferman: thejorie: jackbecq: thejorie: 19leahjade96: thejorie: madamekagamine: thejorie: gccgrimm: thejorie:...

Dad, God, and Journey: Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRRomeo I just had such an affirming experience. On my 8hr intl flight back from a conference, I sat next to a father/son. In broken English, the father began to apologize/ warn me that his ~10 yr-old son had severe nonverbal autism, and that this would like be a difficult journey. 1/ 2:59 p.m. 28 Aug. 19 Twitter Web App 41.3K Retweets 178K Likes Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... 18h Replying to @Rachel RRomeo I told him not to worry, I was a speech-language pathologist with lots of experience with minimally verbal kiddos. Challenging behaviors began even before take off: screaming, hitting me, and grabbing for my things. The father repeatedly apologized, but did little else 2/ t 813 19.2K 55 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR...18h I asked him how his son preferred to communicate. He didn't seem to understand. Perhaps this was a language barrier, but I think instead the child had very little experience with communication therapy. I put away the talk I was working on & asked if I could try. He nodded. 3/ 11 L 705 18.1K Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... 18h I tried to see if he was stimulable for a communication board. I started by pulling up some standard images for basic nouns on my computer but I could tell that screens really bothered him. So I summoned my god-awful drawing skills and tried to create a (very!) low-tech board. 4/ 1680 13 18.3K Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... 18h And by god, it clicked. I made symbols for the things he was favorite stuffed penguin, and for his dad. He took to it very quickly. I introduced way more symbols that I normally would, but hey, how often do we get an 8-hour session?! 5/ grabbing, for his Li 768 20 22.6K Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... 18h By the end of the flight, he had made several requests, initiated several times, & his behaviors had reduced quite a bit. The father was astounded clearly no one had ever tried an AAC approach with him. I gave him the paper & showed him how to use it, and he nearly cried. 6/ 1992 105 28.5K Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... 18h This was the human desire for communication, pure and simple. To connect with another person and share a thought. Communication is a basic human right, and I was overjoyed to help someone find it. What a privilege and a gift. 7/ t 2,713 48.5K 172 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... 18h As I face the upcoming job cycle and the nearly endless imposter syndrome of academia, this was precisely the reminder I needed about why l love studying language/communication development. It was a good day to be an #SLP ! 8/8 2,387 2,987 94K
Dad, God, and Journey: Rachel R. Romeo
 @RachelRRomeo
 I just had such an affirming
 experience. On my 8hr intl flight
 back from a conference, I sat next
 to a father/son. In broken English,
 the father began to apologize/
 warn me that his ~10 yr-old son
 had severe nonverbal autism, and
 that this would like be a difficult
 journey. 1/
 2:59 p.m. 28 Aug. 19 Twitter Web App
 41.3K Retweets 178K Likes
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... 18h
 Replying to @Rachel RRomeo
 I told him not to worry, I was a
 speech-language pathologist with lots of
 experience with minimally verbal kiddos.
 Challenging behaviors began even
 before take off: screaming, hitting me,
 and grabbing for my things. The father
 repeatedly apologized, but did little else
 2/
 t 813
 19.2K
 55

 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR...18h
 I asked him how his son preferred to
 communicate. He didn't seem to
 understand. Perhaps this was a
 language barrier, but I think instead the
 child had very little experience with
 communication therapy. I put away the
 talk I was working on & asked if I could
 try. He nodded. 3/
 11
 L 705
 18.1K
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... 18h
 I tried to see if he was stimulable for a
 communication board. I started by
 pulling up some standard images for
 basic nouns on my computer but I could
 tell that screens really bothered him. So I
 summoned my god-awful drawing skills
 and tried to create a (very!) low-tech
 board. 4/
 1680
 13
 18.3K
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... 18h
 And by god, it clicked. I made symbols
 for the things he was
 favorite stuffed penguin, and for his dad.
 He took to it very quickly. I introduced
 way more symbols that I normally would,
 but hey, how often do we get an 8-hour
 session?! 5/
 grabbing, for his
 Li 768
 20
 22.6K

 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... 18h
 By the end of the flight, he had made
 several requests, initiated several times,
 & his behaviors had reduced quite a bit.
 The father was astounded clearly no
 one had ever tried an AAC approach with
 him. I gave him the paper & showed him
 how to use it, and he nearly cried. 6/
 1992
 105
 28.5K
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... 18h
 This was the human desire for
 communication, pure and simple. To
 connect with another person and share a
 thought. Communication is a basic
 human right, and I was overjoyed to help
 someone find it. What a privilege and a
 gift. 7/
 t 2,713 48.5K
 172
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... 18h
 As I face the upcoming job cycle and the
 nearly endless imposter syndrome of
 academia, this was precisely the
 reminder I needed about why l love
 studying language/communication
 development. It was a good day to be an
 #SLP ! 8/8
 2,387 2,987
 94K
Dad, Definitely, and God: Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRRomeo I just had such an affirming experience. On my 8hr intl flight back from a conference, I sat next to a father/son. In broken English, the father began to apologize/ warn me that his 10 yr-old son had severe nonverbal autism, and that this would like be a difficult journey. 1/ 2:59 p.m. 28 Aug. 19 Twitter Web App 41.3K Retweets 178K Likes Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h Replying to@RachelRRomeo I told him not to worry, I was a speech-language pathologist with lots of experience with minimally verbal kiddos. Challenging behaviors began even before take off: screaming, hitting me, and grabbing for my things. The father repeatedly apologized, but did little else. 2/ 55 19.2K ti 813 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR.. 18h I asked him how his son preferred to communicate. He didn't seem to understand. Perhaps this was a language barrier, but I think instead the child had very little experience with communication therapy. I put away the talk I was working on & asked if I could try. He nodded. 3/ 11 18.1K t 705 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR... 18h I tried to see if he was stimulable for a communication board. I started by pulling up some standard images for basic nouns on my computer but I could tell that screens really bothered him. So I summoned my god-awful drawing skills and tried to create a (very!) low-tech board. 4/ 13 18.3K t 680 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h And by god, it clicked. I made symbols for the things he was grabbing, for his favorite stuffed penguin, and for his dad. He took to it very quickly. I introduced way more symbols that I normally would, but hey, how often do we get an 8-hour session?! 5/ 20 22.6K t 768 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h By the end of the flight, he had made several requests, initiated several times, & his behaviors had reduced quite a bit. The father was astounded clearly no one had ever tried an AAC approach with him. I gave him the paper & showed him how to use it, and he nearly cried. 6/ 105 28.5K t 992 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h This was the human desire for communication, pure and simple. To connect with another person and share a thought. Communication is a basic human right, and I was overjoyed to help someone find it. What a privilege and a gift. 7/ 172 t 2,713 48.5K Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. As I face the upcoming job cycle and the nearly endless imposter syndrome of academia, this was precisely the reminder I needed about why I love studying language/communication development. It was a good day to be an #SLP! 8/8 18h 2,387 t 2,987 94K Not sure if it was posted here but definitely should be via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2MMRPIo
Dad, Definitely, and God: Rachel R. Romeo
 @RachelRRomeo
 I just had such an affirming
 experience. On my 8hr intl flight
 back from a conference, I sat next
 to a father/son. In broken English,
 the father began to apologize/
 warn me that his 10 yr-old son
 had severe nonverbal autism, and
 that this would like be a difficult
 journey. 1/
 2:59 p.m. 28 Aug. 19 Twitter Web App
 41.3K Retweets 178K Likes
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 Replying to@RachelRRomeo
 I told him not to worry, I was a
 speech-language pathologist with lots of
 experience with minimally verbal kiddos.
 Challenging behaviors began even
 before take off: screaming, hitting me,
 and grabbing for my things. The father
 repeatedly apologized, but did little else.
 2/
 55
 19.2K
 ti 813
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR.. 18h
 I asked him how his son preferred to
 communicate. He didn't seem to
 understand. Perhaps this was a
 language barrier, but I think instead the
 child had very little experience with
 communication therapy. I put away the
 talk I was working on & asked if I could
 try. He nodded. 3/
 11
 18.1K
 t 705
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR... 18h
 I tried to see if he was stimulable for a
 communication board. I started by
 pulling up some standard images for
 basic nouns on my computer but I could
 tell that screens really bothered him. So I
 summoned my god-awful drawing skills
 and tried to create a (very!) low-tech
 board. 4/
 13
 18.3K
 t 680
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 And by god, it clicked. I made symbols
 for the things he was grabbing, for his
 favorite stuffed penguin, and for his dad.
 He took to it very quickly. I introduced
 way more symbols that I normally would,
 but hey, how often do we get an 8-hour
 session?! 5/
 20
 22.6K
 t 768
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 By the end of the flight, he had made
 several requests, initiated several times,
 & his behaviors had reduced quite a bit.
 The father was astounded clearly no
 one had ever tried an AAC approach with
 him. I gave him the paper & showed him
 how to use it, and he nearly cried. 6/
 105
 28.5K
 t 992
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 This was the human desire for
 communication, pure and simple. To
 connect with another person and share a
 thought. Communication is a basic
 human right, and I was overjoyed to help
 someone find it. What a privilege and a
 gift. 7/
 172
 t 2,713 48.5K
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR..
 As I face the upcoming job cycle and the
 nearly endless imposter syndrome of
 academia, this was precisely the
 reminder I needed about why I love
 studying language/communication
 development. It was a good day to be an
 #SLP! 8/8
 18h
 2,387 t 2,987
 94K
Not sure if it was posted here but definitely should be via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2MMRPIo

Not sure if it was posted here but definitely should be via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2MMRPIo

Dad, God, and Journey: Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRRomeo I just had such an affirming experience. On my 8hr intl flight back from a conference, I sat next to a father/son. In broken English, the father began to apologize/ warn me that his 10 yr-old son had severe nonverbal autism, and that this would like be a difficult journey. 1/ 2:59 p.m. 28 Aug. 19 Twitter Web App 41.3K Retweets 178K Likes Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h Replying to @RachelRRomeo I told him not to worry, I was a speech-language pathologist with lots of experience with minimally verbal kiddos. Challenging behaviors began even before take off: screaming, hitting me, and grabbing for my things. The father repeatedly apologized, but did little else. 2/ 55 19.2K t 813 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR... 18h I asked him how his son preferred to communicate. He didn't seem to understand. Perhaps this was a language barrier, but I think instead the child had very little experience with communication therapy. I put away the talk I was working on & asked if I could try. He nodded. 3/ 11 18.1K t 705 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR... 18h I tried to see if he was stimulable for a communication board. I started by pulling up some standard images for basic nouns on my computer but I could tell that screens really bothered him. So I summoned my god-awful drawing skills and tried to create a (very!) low-tech board. 4/ 13 18.3K t 680 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h And by god, it clicked. I made symbols for the things he was grabbing, for his favorite stuffed penguin, and for his dad. He took to it very quickly. I introduced way more symbols that I normally would, but hey, how often do we get an 8-hour session?! 5/ 20 22.6K t 768 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h By the end of the flight, he had made several requests, initiated several times, & his behaviors had reduced quite a bit. The father was astounded clearly no one had ever tried an AAC approach with him. I gave him the paper & showed him how to use it, and he nearly cried. 6/ 105 28.5K t 992 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h This was the human desire for communication, pure and simple. To connect with another person and share a thought. Communication is a basic human right, and I was overjoyed to help someone find it. What a privilege and a gift. 7/ 172 t 2,713 48.5K Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR... As I face the upcoming job cycle and the nearly endless imposter syndrome of academia, this was precisely the reminder I needed about why I love studying language/communication development. It was a good day to be an 18h #SLP! 8/8 2,387 t 2,987 94K This👏Is👏Verry👏Wholesome
Dad, God, and Journey: Rachel R. Romeo
 @RachelRRomeo
 I just had such an affirming
 experience. On my 8hr intl flight
 back from a conference, I sat next
 to a father/son. In broken English,
 the father began to apologize/
 warn me that his 10 yr-old son
 had severe nonverbal autism, and
 that this would like be a difficult
 journey. 1/
 2:59 p.m. 28 Aug. 19 Twitter Web App
 41.3K Retweets 178K Likes
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 Replying to @RachelRRomeo
 I told him not to worry, I was a
 speech-language pathologist with lots of
 experience with minimally verbal kiddos.
 Challenging behaviors began even
 before take off: screaming, hitting me,
 and grabbing for my things. The father
 repeatedly apologized, but did little else.
 2/
 55
 19.2K
 t 813
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR... 18h
 I asked him how his son preferred to
 communicate. He didn't seem to
 understand. Perhaps this was a
 language barrier, but I think instead the
 child had very little experience with
 communication therapy. I put away the
 talk I was working on & asked if I could
 try. He nodded. 3/
 11
 18.1K
 t 705
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelR... 18h
 I tried to see if he was stimulable for a
 communication board. I started by
 pulling up some standard images for
 basic nouns on my computer but I could
 tell that screens really bothered him. So I
 summoned my god-awful drawing skills
 and tried to create a (very!) low-tech
 board. 4/
 13
 18.3K
 t 680
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 And by god, it clicked. I made symbols
 for the things he was grabbing, for his
 favorite stuffed penguin, and for his dad.
 He took to it very quickly. I introduced
 way more symbols that I normally would,
 but hey, how often do we get an 8-hour
 session?! 5/
 20
 22.6K
 t 768
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 By the end of the flight, he had made
 several requests, initiated several times,
 & his behaviors had reduced quite a bit.
 The father was astounded clearly no
 one had ever tried an AAC approach with
 him. I gave him the paper & showed him
 how to use it, and he nearly cried. 6/
 105
 28.5K
 t 992
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR.. 18h
 This was the human desire for
 communication, pure and simple. To
 connect with another person and share a
 thought. Communication is a basic
 human right, and I was overjoyed to help
 someone find it. What a privilege and a
 gift. 7/
 172
 t 2,713 48.5K
 Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRR...
 As I face the upcoming job cycle and the
 nearly endless imposter syndrome of
 academia, this was precisely the
 reminder I needed about why I love
 studying language/communication
 development. It was a good day to be an
 18h
 #SLP! 8/8
 2,387 t 2,987
 94K
This👏Is👏Verry👏Wholesome

This👏Is👏Verry👏Wholesome